Happy Healthy Caregiver: An interview with Elizabeth Miller

Welcome back to the show. Four caregivers about caregivers hosted by a caregiver.

This is Peter Rosenberger. This is Hope for the Caregiver. We are taking care of business.

We are glad you are with us. 800-688-9522. 800-688-9522. You can follow along on Facebook Live at Hope for the Caregiver on Facebook. Join our group, Hope for the Caregiver group. Like the page, we got it all. And then we'll put this out on the podcast a little bit later, Caregiver Podcast. It's a free podcast. Take advantage of it. You can find out all the things that you want to know that we're doing here with the show, with the books, with everything we do. And we just would love for you to take advantage of this because, you know what, being a caregiver is hard.

Trying to do it by yourself, that's harder. And there's no need to. John, do we have Elizabeth on the phone?

We do. She should be right there. Oh, all right. Elizabeth, you with us?

I'm here. Hey, this is Elizabeth Miller. And she is the founder and content manager of Happy Healthy Caregiver. She is a caregiver and a mom of two. And all the above that she is right at the sweet spot of everything we're about on this show. And we are thrilled.

She's down in Marietta, Georgia. And my CD that I put out, I did it. It's called Songs for the Caregiver. I did it specifically to help calm a caregiver's heart. And this will mean something to you. I tested it on myself during rush hour on 285 to see if it would cure road rage.

That's a good time to test it out right near Spaghetti Junction, I hope. Yes. Well, listen, tell us a little bit about your journey as a caregiver. Then I want to get into what you're doing, the conferences, the stuff, and how folks can take advantage of the things that you're doing. So back us up a little bit to how you got into this because it's not like you set out to have a life plan of being a caregiver.

Well, it's not on my bucket list or it wasn't on my bucket list, I should say. So, you know, I think for some people it happens like a crisis. And then for other people, it's like a slow mudslide.

And I was the slow mudslide version. So, you know, for years, my parents have been had a terminal or chronic health issues. I've got a developmentally disabled brother. But in 2014 is when things just kind of, my husband and I felt really squeezed.

We were in the sandwich generation, as you said. We've got kids and parents, aging parents, and his mom had lung cancer, and my parents, their health issues were definitely coming to a head. Heart disease. My mom has COPD. My parents had sleep apnea.

Long story short, both my husband and I lost a parent in 2014, so our kids lost two grandparents. And, you know, we're working full time and we were juggling a lot of things. And so we had to figure, you know, we just figured there's got to be a better way to do this. We've got to figure this out. So lots of lessons learned.

You are figuring out and you're helping other people figure it out as well. And you launched this whole thing about happy, healthy caregiver. Tell us a little bit about that.

And by the way, let me let me preface this. There are a lot of people that have a caregiving story. There's too many of us.

There's 65 million of us. I like to bring people on the show here that are not only dealing with the experience and have the experience that she has with which is plenty, but then they've turned it into some kind of action step of putting back into the lives of other caregivers, just like they've learned it themselves. And I like to bring people who bring these unique perspectives and so forth.

And that's why Elizabeth's on the show. I'm very grateful for her insights, for her journey, what she can offer, because this is how we all learn. So tell us a little bit about the happy, healthy caregiver. Well, I started it because I watched my parents and my mother-in-law, unlike some people who have diseases that they didn't ask for everything, that they ended up having their diseases or chronic illnesses were things that happened out of the lifestyle choices that they had made over the years. And my parents were, my mom's still alive, my dad has passed, but amazing parents and did so much for us, almost too much really for myself and my five brothers and sisters.

And their own health and happiness really got sacrificed as part of that. So I witnessed it firsthand between my parents and my mother-in-law of what can happen when you're not taking care of your own health and happiness. And so I could see myself going down that path when my parents were sick in 2014. We thought my mom was going to pass and she ended up recovering. And then my dad, who was really my mom's primary caregiver, and I think you hear that happen a lot, he ended up getting very sick and he was the healthier of the two.

And within a month, he passed away. So it really just really took us all for a crazy whirlwind. And those road trips back and forth from Atlanta to Florida where my folks were, a lot of thoughts going on. And so that's where I kind of came up with the thing of like, look, this is the definition of insanity, right?

Doing the same thing over and over again and thinking you're going to get different results. And so I just thought one way for me to be accountable was just to put it out there. And so before I started the website, I really started it in Instagram. I changed my Instagram account to something, happy, healthy caregiver or some variation of that. And then I did 100 days of healthy. And every day I just posted something out there and just thought, I'm just going to take a little step every single day doing something healthy.

And then it turned into the blog and the podcast and just kind of all kinds of neat things. But it helped keep me accountable while helping others. And I think lots of lessons in there of learning how to let go of things and trying to just stay energized. You know, while we moved my mom here to the Atlanta area, I became her primary caregiver and it was a lot. It was a lot to juggle kids and a full time job and it still is. But now I'm in a long distance caregiving support role with my sister has primary caregiving responsibilities.

So we share the care here in my family. Well, I want to circle back to two things you said. One of them is you started writing. You're a journalism major and I know that when you went to journalism school, this was not on your list of things that you were going to be writing about. But I'm so grateful that as a trained and experienced and a very prolific writer that you have taken upon yourself to use that skill set. I think that caregiving taps into everything that we bring to the table. And if we allow it, we can use things that skills and abilities we have in training in ways we didn't expect. And yours is an important voice to do this. And so I just think that's fascinating that you were able to do that and turn that into a better way to communicate. You know, and the other thing is, is that as you've done this and you said keeping yourself accountable, you know, that's why I do this show. You know, I the secret that most people, I guess, is not much of a secret anymore. I'm preaching to myself here. I got to hear these things over and over and over again.

It's not a one and done. And so I need to hear what you've learned. I need to hear what callers have learned and what they're going through. And we bounce things off together. So I think that's been one of the more rewarding things is as we engage in community. Have you found that to be the same thing with your community now that you built around the happy, healthy caregiver? Yeah, I mean, just like you're saying, I created it because I didn't I wanted it.

I was craving it and starved for it. And I didn't even know it was a caregiver. You mentioned in the beginning of your show how folks don't self-identify. And I was that person that did not connect to the resources and, you know, really encourage our health care professionals and all the folks out there to really educate people that, hey, this is what you're called. And there are shows like yours, Peter, and resources and websites like mine that we can help help these caregivers and and really just keep folks accountable for that. But it's, you know, and it's a funny whirlwind, too, like you said, with the journalism that, you know, I love I love studying journalism, but I didn't want to work midnight to six in Podunk, Georgia and all of that.

So I got into I.T. for many years and then have now realized how fun and amazing it is and how much I learned from other people through my podcast. Like when I'm spotlighting on a caregiver spotlight episode and sharing about what's working for people and how they're able to integrate little baby steps of self-care into their day, I'm learning things every day and I'm trying new things. And it is it's a it's a journey, you know, and it's baby steps and nooks and crannies of self-care. Well, we get to cheer each other on, and that's the whole point is that we're all cheering each other on because there's it's hard enough being a caregiver.

It's it's it's much harder trying to do it alone. And and so it's great to have your voice out there. And speaking of which, cheering each other on. Tell us about the conference. Yes, so I am thrilled to be participating. I'm a certified caregiving consultant through caregiving dot com that gives me the tools to help other caregivers. And our fearless leader, Denise Brown with caregiving dot com, created a conference called the National Caregiving Conference.

And our fourth one will be this November, November 7th through 10th. And folks can either go to Chicago and attend in person or they can listen to some of the virtual tracks available for free. There's lots of opportunities. We're always looking for wonderful sponsors and exhibitors and volunteers. And there's an actual call for presenters open now till March 1st. So if folks want to submit something, you know, maybe they've never even done any public speaking before, because what's really unique about this conference is that the majority of the speakers are current or former family caregivers. And we really feel like we are the experts right in this field. So it's a great opportunity for people.

Like you said, a lot of us have turned our experiences into businesses and ways to help other caregivers. And it's amazing. It's really uplifting.

Like I thought it would go the first year. And I thought, oh, this will be depressing. But it's not. Like you said earlier, we laugh, we cry. Yeah, it's not depressing.

It is not depressing. And that's I think that's the thing that surprised a lot of people, even about this show, is that they thought it was all going to be about nursing homes. I think. Really?

Is that what you think? Because there's a whole lot more to us as caregivers. And we like I said in the last segment, we get we keep a sense of humor and so forth. And by the way, I want to give a little shout out.

Somebody was posting on watching it on Facebook Live. Nancy said she's right there with you, Elizabeth. So you're resonating a lot with folks even right now.

And I appreciate that. Let me know if people want to go to the conference. What's the best place to do to they go to your site to connect to it or what? Well, I do chat about it a lot, but the best way to go is caregiving dot com slash NCC 19 for National Caregiving Conference 19. And that's you'll you'll find it all there.

All right. And I'll post about this on our Facebook page and we'll put the podcast out about this a little later as well. A link to it within the podcast so people can find that, because I think it's important to go. I think we're going to have Denise on here here in the next several months to talk about it. And I think she even wanted me to look at coming up and speaking to it or being a presenter there. So we're going to we're going to push it pretty hard because we want folks to know that there is a community out there for them, where they can go to and connect with and participate and get healthier real quick.

And they're just the last two or three minutes we have. If you could say something to your younger self, because there are a lot of women that are just now stepping into this place where you are. What would you say? I would say, you know, let go earlier on. You know, you can't control everything that you know, there's a lot of people that are available to help you.

And I would also have encouraged myself sooner rather than later to just be more vulnerable. You know, I have found through my writing and my speaking that the more transparent I am, the more I have seen myself more clearly. And I think and then just try new things. You know, I've turned over lots of rocks, essential oils, chiropractic care, green juice, new workout ideas, online Bible studies. You know, whatever someone says, hey, this might work for you. And I'm like, let me try that.

So I would encourage my younger self to really dive into some of that stuff sooner. And I share all about this stuff on HappyHealthyCaregiver.com if people are interested in learning more. Well, when you said that on the Facebook live feed, a whole bunch of hearts just went flying through.

So thank you for that. It might be my husband. He's my number one fan, by the way. You've got one of those two, I think.

Well, not a husband, but I do have a wife that is a number one fan. I'm sorry. That was just silly.

All right. So people want to find you. Where do they find you?

HappyHealthyCaregiver.com. They can, you know, listen to find all the links to the podcast, social media and all the resources that I put out there. So I would love to connect with people. And I just thank you for this opportunity. I love your book.

I just finished your seven landmines one this morning and I'm going to pass that one on to my sister. So you're amazing. And just thank you so much. Elizabeth, thank you. It's just it's a real treat to have you on the show. HappyHealthyCaregiver.com.

HappyHealthyCaregiver.com. Elizabeth Miller, we're going to have you back on. We're going to have Denise on.

We're going to talk about this conference. You're welcome anytime, Elizabeth. I really do appreciate it. OK. Thank you. Happy Super Bowl Sunday, everybody. This is Hope for the Caregiver. This is Peter Rosenberger, 800-688-9522.

We'll be right back. Have you ever struggled to trust God when lousy things happen to you? I'm Gracie Rosenberger. And in 1983, I experienced a horrific car accident leading to 80 surgeries and both legs amputated. I questioned why God allowed something so brutal to happen to me.

But over time, my questions changed and I discovered courage to trust God. That understanding, along with an appreciation for quality prosthetic limbs, led me to establish Standing with Hope. For more than a dozen years, we've been working with the government of Ghana and West Africa, equipping and training local workers to build and maintain quality prosthetic limbs for their own people. On a regular basis, we purchase and ship equipment and supplies.

And with the help of inmates in a Tennessee prison, we also recycle parts from donated limbs. All of this is to point others to Christ, the source of my hope and strength. Please visit standingwithhope.com to learn more and participate in lifting others up. That's standingwithhope.com. I'm Gracie, and I am standing with hope.