Hope for the Caregiver

The nation's number one show for family caregivers.

How do we do it? Volume. Because there are a lot of caregivers. 65 million caregivers. 65 million!

And I think that's actually a low number. A lot of people don't identify as a caregiver. That's why I did a whole video series on that you might be a caregiver if. If you have a professional carpet cleaner on retainer, you're probably a caregiver.

Does that feel like you? If you get more than six Christmas cards from doctors every year, chances are you're a caregiver. And that's why we do the show. There are a lot of folks out there doing this and we're glad that you're with us. If you want to be on the show, 800-688-9522.

800-688-9522. And you can also follow along on Facebook live at hopeforthecaregiver.com. I'm sorry. Facebook live. Go to facebook.com slash hope for the caregiver.

Sorry about that. All this hits the little brain. And then you can also follow along on Twitter. Hope the number four caregiver.

Hope the number four caregiver. And then the website is hopeforthecaregiver.com. We've tried to make it kind of easy.

The book, the podcast, everything is Hope for the Caregiver. And speaking of the podcast, it's free. We put the show out there. Plus we have a lot of bonus clips that we do. Things that we just put out there for you. And you could just easily go out to that, to the website or straight to the podcast, which is, are you ready for this?

Caregiverpodcast.com. I mean, honestly, how hard is that? We try to make things easy and uncomplicated. And speaking of easy and uncomplicated, here's the man you all know as the Baron of the board, the Sultan of sound, the Earl of engineering, the man who is so chill.

He comes with a medic ID bracelet that says, really, I'm not dead. I'm sorry. I blew the joke, but it's very funny. He's John Butler, everyone. And hello, Peter, how you doing? I blew the joke, but it was making me laugh. Easy and uncomplicated.

Easy and uncomplicated. That's what we're going for here. Uh, so, uh, two parrots were sitting on a perch, right. And one says to the other, it's not like fish in here and crickets. It just, you know, it's so bad. How bad is it? It's so bad, ladies and gentlemen, that, uh, it made Peter laugh.

Every joke comes with his own bottle of water. Hey, uh, John, how you doing? I'm doing well. Thank you. And a big shout out to Ed, uh, Manning, the satellite distribution center out at Salem radio network online, out at, um, in Dallas, who is broadcasting this show. You can, if you listen real carefully, you can hear all the, and, uh, it's doing just a fine, fine job.

So thank you both for helping me run the show. I'm in Southwest Montana and it is one degree outside, John. Oh, is it now? It's that's pretty cold.

Yeah. How cold is it? It's so cold that politicians got their hands in their own pockets. I mean, it's cold. Um, but it's, uh, and we're expecting quite a bit of snow. It's been snowing all day.

This is Gracie's favorite thing to just look at the snow coming. And it was, we went down to church in the valley. I've been doing music and, and leading the music and worship at a little church down in the valley.

The pastor asked me to do it while we're out here and I've been happy to do it. And on the way back, it was, um, you know, the, the roads were just getting worse and worse, and they're not plowing the road today. Cause it's Sunday. And then getting up to the house, uh, this is Gracie's family's place out here. Her parents, they don't come out here in the winter and, uh, you know, it's, it's pretty snowy. So they like to stay down and back East, but, uh, we like to come out here and Gracie just does so much better out here with her arthritis and so forth with this dry air, but it's a little gnarly getting up here, you know, and, and you're in four-wheel drive the whole way and it's 10 miles from the paved road. So that's quite a, quite a distance. Uh, so it's, it's a lot of fun. And, um, I love being out here, but I'm looking at the snow and we're expecting at least a foot of snow today, a foot of snow, a foot of snow. And, uh, so anyway, um, speaking of foot, if you have an extra foot, uh, brings us to our sponsor for our caregiver tip of the day, our caregiver tip of the day. Let's see if Ed gets this.

Well, nevermind it. Our caregiver tip of the day is, uh, brought to you by Stating with Hope. And we collect used prosthetic limbs from all over the country. And they go to a local prison in Tennessee run by CoreCivic. Inmates recycle the prosthetic components, the feet, the knees, the pile on the screws, the adapter, all this stuff. We send this equipment over to West Africa, where we are, we've been working now since 2005 with individuals over there with the Ghana health service, and they are, uh, providing prosthetic limbs to their own people. They will make a custom fit leg on site for that patient.

And then they'll use, integrate some of these recycled components in. So you can go find out more about that at standingwithhope.com. And they are our sponsor for our caregiver tip of the day today, which is. There you go. Well, that kind of shocked me. Hold on a second while I collect myself. It's a big one, Elizabeth. It's a big one.

Oh, speaking of Elizabeth, Elizabeth Miller is going to join us at the bottom of the hour, but John, you startled me. Um, our caregiver tip of the day is judge yourself fairly. Now let me explain. Judge yourself fairly. All too many caregivers judge yourself fairly. All too many caregivers judge ourselves by our job performance. Okay.

Stay with me on this. Our job performance. We constantly look at our mistakes that we make, and we do make a lot of them quite truthfully. I mean, I'm the crash test dummy of caregivers.

I'm going to care for 32 years. I've forgotten more mistakes than most of y'all are going to make. However, if we're going to judge ourselves, which I don't recommend doing at all anyway, but if you're going to judge yourself fairly and also factor in your attendance record. All right. Think about this as a caregiver, you have a flawless attendance record, and it is, um, it's something to be said that you're showing up to do this. Now you may say, okay, well, um, you, um, you know, you, you show up in your, your bill beaten down or bruised or battered and, uh, you're dismayed or you're swearing under your breath, you know, whatever. Okay.

I get it. But you're still showing up. You're still showing up.

And I think that's something as a caregiver that is worth celebrating about you. Okay. You're still calling. You're still working out things.

You're still making sure things get done. Now, the purpose of this show is to start from that point and then work, work out from there where you could show up and not be miserable. You know, you don't have to be miserable. That's a choice.

Now you may have to show up and deal with some very harsh realities in some grim circumstances. Get it. I understand it. Been there, done that.

Got it. However, there is still joy. There is still calmness. There is still peace of mind. There is still beauty that you can participate in.

Even with all that going on, you can, you really can. I'm saying this from lengthy experience on this, but I had some, somebody had to teach me how to do this. I didn't just do this instinctively. In fact, I failed instinctively.

That doesn't require much effort on my part at all. But I had to learn from other people that said, you know what? It's okay for you to be at peace in the midst of this. Now that's what scripture teaches us, that we can be calm in the midst of this, of whatever storms are coming in our life. Remember Jesus fell asleep in the boat. The disciples were freaking out. How many of you as caregivers, and I lump myself into that, but freak out.

Do we have that jungle, by the way? Freak out. I should have had that one ready. I'm contractually obligated not to play that song. Sorry.

It's some kind of a spiritual condition. Freak out. We should have had that ready. No, I mean, think about it. We freak out on a regular basis. I know I do. Grace will tell you. I mean, I'm the freak out king.

And I'll do that. I'd like to think I don't freak out as much as I used to. I'd like to think that.

I would like to think that. And yet here we are. But, you know, we're not chained to that. We're not chained to that. So I just wanted to start with where we often are as caregivers. And that is that we judge ourselves with great harshness.

Okay, I get that. That's where a lot of us are. So if we're going to be there, let's go ahead and judge ourselves honestly. And honestly, we show up as a caregiver with an attendance record that's virtually perfect because we're still doing it. Now the goal is to move past this and start showing up with a calmer and a more peaceful and a more joyful heart as we do it. Then we're going to also start taking steps to show up healthier on every level.

Why not? Who says that we can't be healthy while we're caregivers? In fact, I say the opposite. I say the healthy caregivers make better caregivers. And later on in the show, you're going to hear from a lady who founded the whole movement of this and her website is Happy Healthier Caregiver. And that's what it's all about, that we don't have to be miserable.

That is a choice. And so that's my caregiver tip of the day. And excuse me, I don't have a cough button, John, on my box out here, a little inside information for those of you, but on my Comrix box, I don't have a cough button.

Do you have any ideas, John? It sounds like a personal problem. I mean, Gracie, I was coughing earlier and sometimes I go through a period of time where I'll have a persistent cough and I got this medication in from a doctor that's supposed to help it. And the moment I take, I mean, I cough on anything. I could be innocuous or anything, but Gracie's like, take your medicine, take your medicine. You don't want to be doing this on the air. And she's fussing. Well, she is, but you can't help it sometimes.

This is true. I don't have a cough button, so I just have to turn away. Cut your mic. Turn your head and cough. When was the last time you went to your doctor, Peter? Well, and I do go to my doctor. Speaking of turn your head and cough. Okay.

We've taken a very different turn. That's our caregiver tip of the day brought to you by Standing With Hope. Would you go out to standingwithhope.com today, see our blog posts, see what we're doing with prosthetics. This is Gracie's fellow amputees that we did this. See what we're doing to my fellow caregivers.

It's for the wounded and those who care for them. You could be a part of that right now. standingwithhope.com. We will be right back. 800-688-9522. This is Peter Rosenberger.

We'll be right back. Hey, this is Hope for the Caregiver. This is the nation's number one show for the family caregiver.

I am Peter Rosenberger and I am thrilled to have you with us. 800-688-9522. If you want to be part of the show, 800-688-9522. The website is hopeforthecaregiver.com. We also stream the show live on Facebook, which at facebook.com slash Hope for the Caregiver and we'll also podcast the show later on and you could subscribe to it. It's a free podcast and would welcome you doing that.

We put a lot of things out there like for those of you on the break who get the network feed. We have a thing called Your Caregiver Minute that you'll hear me do and that's broadcast on several hundred stations across the country and I put all those out on the podcast, Your Caregiver Minute and they're real easy. They're just like they said, one minute thing here of just a reminder, daily reminder of something that we as caregivers can incorporate in our lives. What we, the key, here's the whole secret about being a caregiver.

It's not one and done. You do not arrive at a place where you say, okay, I got this now. It's a constant reaffirming of basic principles. You know, you never stop incorporating these things in your life and you never stop needing to hear them. Even after you stop being a caregiver, it'll take a long time, maybe a lifetime to detangle what kind of went on in your heart about this and so these principles work. I didn't come up with all them.

I've just aggregated them over a lifetime of people who have come up to me and have been incredibly gracious to me in the midst of my dysfunction or whatever and I can't stress enough to you how much those things are important just to keep going and keep having in your life and I, what, my wife is coming in here with something. What are you bringing me a hot pad for? You're bringing me hot pads for coffee?

Why is that? Oh, she wants me to have a soundproof barrier for coffee. Let's see if it works. Gracie, keep it here with hot pads. Did I hear?

Did you hear anything? No, okay. Gracie, thank you for that very much. That is just darling of you. Oh, I just love it. So anyway, I need to get back to you. So anyway, I need to get right to our, um, today's senior moment. I don't need your rocking chair. Uh, speaking of, boy, you were on that, Ed.

Uh, speaking of, uh, Gracie bringing me hot pads in the middle of a show. Today's senior moment, keep a sense of humor. These are important things to remember. Um, if you try to keep all serious about this as a caregiver, I promise you it's, it's not going to go well for you. You've got to keep a sense of humor. People that are caregivers that don't have a sense of humor. Um, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I don't see how you could do this for any length of time and not develop a sense of humor because I don't think you could sustain it, uh, several decades over this.

And, um, you know, without one. And, and I, you know, I think, uh, I was, I was, there was a Facebook post earlier data in a dementia caregiver group that I'm a part of. And this lady posted, she was so distraught because her husband was putting his blanket in the underwear drawer and putting his underwear on top of his clothes.

And she was really distraught about this. And I, it just hit me. It's kind of funny. So I posted a picture into that group and I posted a picture of Superman.

I said, you know, Superman puts his underwear on the outside of his uniform. So you could, you know, just learn. I, that was, that was funny. I mean, that was funny because you could learn to have a sense of humor about that sort of thing. I mean, she could be all distraught about it, which she was.

Absolutely. And then when I posted this picture of Superman with this red tights on and she posted back, she said, I love this group. That's keeping a sense of humor. You can't maintain that level of angst and it go well for you.

You're going to have to have some laughter and laughter is what kind of gives us that release that we know that we're not totally losing our minds. And, and that's why I did that whole. I remember when I did that whole bit of, you might be a caregiver if with Jeff Foxworthy. And I had people that literally thought that I was mocking the journey of being a caregiver. They did. They really thought that. And they were a little bit offended until they read my resume and they realized, Oh, wait a minute.

If he's been doing this this long and he's found that it's okay to laugh. Maybe I can too. I just don't, I take the journey seriously.

I just don't take me that seriously. And, uh, you know, I remember I was at church once Gracie had been, this is awful. Gracie had been, um, out of commission for some time and she couldn't wear either one of her prosthesis. And we were able to go to church. Gracie went to church and she, her legs had healed up.

And so she could start wearing her prosthetic legs. And this lady came up to me and she said, it's so good to see Gracie back on her feet. And I looked at her and said, and her feet back on her.

Come on. That's great. She didn't know how to respond, but you know, it's okay to laugh.

You know, Gracie's self-worth and her identity is not tied up in, in the fact that she has prosthetic legs and ours doesn't have to be either. We can live a calmer, healthier, and even joy, more joyful life. Keep a sense of humor brought to you by MorningPoint, morningpoint.com P O I N T E, morningpoint.com. That's not senior living to end life. That's senior living to begin life, to have a great time and live life with excitement and passion at morningpoint.com.

Go check it out and see. We'll be right back with Elizabeth Miller. This is Hope for the Caregiver. This is Peter Rosenberger. So glad you're with us.

800-688-9522. We'll be right back. Welcome back to the show for Caregivers About Caregivers hosted by a caregiver.

This is Peter Rosenberger. This is Hope for the Caregiver. We are taking care of business.

We are glad you are with us. 800-688-9522. 800-688-9522. You can follow along on Facebook live at Hope for the Caregiver on Facebook and join our group, Hope for the Caregiver group. Like the page, we got it all and then we'll put this out on the podcast a little bit later, Caregiver Podcast. It's a free podcast. Take advantage of it. You can find out all the things that you want to know that we're doing here with the show, with the books, with everything we do and we just would love for you to take advantage of this because you know what? Being a caregiver is hard.

Trying to do it by yourself, that's harder and there's no need to. John, we have Elizabeth on the phone? We do. She should be right there. Oh, all right. Elizabeth, you with us?

I'm here. Hey, this is Elizabeth Miller and she is the founder and content manager of Happy, Healthy Caregiver. She is a caregiver and a mom of two and all the above that she is right in the sweet spot of everything we're about on this show and we are thrilled.

She's down in Marietta, Georgia and my CD that I put out, I did it. It's called Songs for the Caregiver. I did it specifically to help calm a caregiver's heart and this will mean something to you.

I tested it on myself during rush hour on 285 and to see if it would cure road rage. Well, listen, tell us a little bit about your journey as a caregiver that I want to get into what you're doing, the conferences, the stuff and how folks can take advantage of the things that you're doing. So, back us up a little bit to how you got into this because it's not like you set out to have a life plan of being a caregiver.

Yes, it's not on my bucket list or it wasn't on my bucket list, I should say. So, you know, I think for some people it happens like a crisis and then for other people it's like a slow mudslide and I was the slow mudslide version. So, you know, for years my parents have been had a terminal or for chronic health issues. I've got a developmentally disabled brother and but in 2014 is when things just kind of my husband and I felt really squeezed. We were in the sandwich generation, as you said, we've got kids and parents, aging parents and his mom had lung cancer and my parents, their health issues were definitely coming to a head.

Heart disease, my mom has COPD, they both, my parents had sleep apnea. Long story short, both my husband and I lost a parent in 2014, so our kids lost two grandparents and, you know, we're working full time and we were juggling a lot of things and so we had to figure, you know, we just figured there's got to be a better way to do this. We've got to figure this out. So, lots of lessons learned. You are figuring out and you're helping other people figure it out as well and you launched this whole thing about happy, healthy caregiver. Tell us a little bit about that. And by the way, let me let me preface this. There are a lot of people that have a caregiving story.

I mean, there's too many of us, there's 65 million of us. I like to bring people on the show here that are not only dealing with the experience and have the experience that she has, which is plenty, but then they've turned it into some kind of action step of putting back into the lives of other caregivers, just like they've learned it themselves and I like to bring people who bring these unique perspectives and so forth and that's why Elizabeth's on the show. I'm very grateful for her insights, for her journey, what she can offer because it's, this is how we all learn. So, tell us a little bit about the happy, healthy caregiver. Well, I started it because, you know, I watched my parents and my mother-in-law, you know, unlike some people who have diseases that they didn't ask for everything, you know, that they ended up having their diseases or chronic illnesses were things that happened out of the lifestyle choices that they had made over the years and, you know, my parents were, my mom's still alive, my dad has passed, amazing parents and did so much for us, almost too much really for myself and my five brothers and sisters and their own health and happiness really got sacrificed as part of that.

So, I witnessed it firsthand between my parents and my mother-in-law of what can happen when you're not taking care of your own health and happiness and so I could see myself going down that path when my parents were sick in 2014, you know, we thought my mom was going to pass and she ended up recovering and then my dad who was really my mom's primary caregiver and I think you hear that happen a lot, he ended up getting very sick and he was the healthier of the two and within a month he passed away. So, it really just really took us all for a crazy whirlwind and, you know, those road trips back and forth from Atlanta to Florida where my folks were, a lot of thoughts, you know, going on and so that's where I kind of came up with the thing of like, look, this is the definition of insanity, right, doing the same thing over and over again and thinking you're going to get different results and so I just thought, you know, one way for me to be accountable was just to put it out there and so before I started the website, I really started an Instagram. I changed my Instagram account to, you know, to something, happy, healthy caregiver or some variation of that and then I did 100 days of healthy and every day I just posted something out there and just thought I'm just going to take a little step every single day of doing something healthy and then it turned into the blog and the podcast and just kind of all kinds of neat things, you know, but it helped keep me accountable while helping others and I think, you know, lots of lessons in there, you know, learning how to let go of things and trying to just stay energized, you know, while I'm we moved my mom here to the Atlanta area, I became her primary caregiver and it was a lot. It was a lot to juggle kids and a full-time job and it still is but now I'm in a long-distance caregiving support role with my sister has primary caregiving responsibilities so we share the care here in my family. Well, I want to circle back to two things you said.

One of them is you started writing law. You're a journalism major and I know that when you went to journalism school, this was not on your your list of things that you were going to be writing about but I'm so grateful that as a trained and experienced and a very prolific writer that you have taken upon yourself to use that skill set. I think that caregiving taps into everything that we bring to the table and if we allow it, we can use things that skills and abilities we have and training in ways we didn't expect and yours is an important voice to do this and so I just think that's fascinating that you were able to do that and turn that into a better way to communicate. And the other thing is that as you've done this and you said keeping yourself accountable, that's why I do this show. The secret that most people, I guess it's not much of a secret anymore, I'm preaching to myself here.

I got to hear these things over and over and over and over again. It's not a one and done and so I need to hear what you've learned. I need to hear what callers have learned and what they're going through. We bounce things off together so I think that's been one of the more rewarding things is as we engage in community. Have you found that to be the same thing with your community now that you built around the happy healthy caregiver?

Yeah, I mean just like you're saying, I created it because I wanted it. I was craving it and starved for it and I didn't even know it was a caregiver. You mentioned in the beginning of your show how folks don't self-identify and I was that person that did not connect to the resources and you know really encourage our healthcare professionals and all the folks out there to really educate people that hey this is what you're called and there are shows like Yours Peter and resources and websites like mine that we can help help these caregivers and and really just keep folks accountable for that but it's you know and it's a funny whirlwind too like you said with the journalism that you know I love I love studying journalism but I didn't want to work midnight to six in Podunk Georgia and all of that so I got into IT for many years and then have now realized how fun and amazing it is and how much I learned from other people through my podcast like when I'm spotlighting on a caregiver spotlight episode and sharing about what's working for people and how they're able to integrate little baby steps of self-care into their day I'm learning things every day and I'm trying new things and and it is it's a it's a journey you know and it's it's baby steps and and nooks and crannies of self-care well we get to cheer each other on and that's the whole point is that we're all cheering each other on because there's it's hard enough being a caregiver it's it's it's much harder trying to do it alone and and so it's great to have your voice out there speaking of which cheering each other on tell us about the conference yes so I am thrilled to be participating I'm a certified caregiving consultant through caregiving.com that gives me the tools to help other caregivers and our fearless leader Denise Brown with caregiving.com created a conference called the national national caregiving conference and our fourth one will be this november november 7th through 10th and folks can either go to chicago and attend in person or they can listen to some of the virtual tracks that's available for free there's lots of opportunities we're always looking for wonderful sponsors and exhibitors and volunteers and there's an actual call for presenters open now till march 1st so if folks want to submit something you know maybe they've never even done any public speaking before because what's really unique about this conference is that the majority of the speakers are current or former family caregivers and we really feel like we are the experts right in this field so it's a great opportunity for people like you said a lot of us have turned our experiences into businesses and ways to help other caregivers and it's amazing it's really uplifting like I thought it would go the first year and I thought oh this will be depressing but it's not like you said earlier we laugh we cry yeah it's not depressing it is not depressing and and that's I think that's the thing that surprised a lot of people even about this show is that they thought it was all going to be about nursing homes I'm thinking really is that what you think is that because there's a whole lot more to us as caregivers and and we like I said in the last segment we got we keep a sense of humor and so forth by the way I want to give a little shout out somebody was posting on watching it on Facebook live Nancy said she's right there with you Elizabeth so you're resonating a lot with folks even right now and and I appreciate that let me if I if people want to go to the conference what's the best place to do do they go to your site to connect to it or what well I do chat about it a lot but the best way to go is caregiving.com slash ncc19 for national caregiving conference 19 and that's you'll you'll find it all there all right and I'll post about this on our Facebook page and we'll put the podcast out about this a little later as well and I'll link to it within the podcast so people can find that because I think it's important to go I think we're going to have Denise on here here in the next several months to talk about it and I think she even wanted me to look at coming up and speaking to it or being a presenter there so well we're gonna we're gonna push it pretty hard because we want folks to know that there is a community out there for them where they can go to and connect with and participate and get healthier real quick and they're just the last two or three minutes we have if you could say something to your younger self because there are a lot of women that are just now stepping into this place where you are what would you say I would say you know let go earlier on you know you can't control everything that you know there's a lot of people that are available to help you and I would also have encouraged myself sooner rather than later to just be more vulnerable you know I have found through my writing and my speaking that the more transparent I am the more I have seen myself more clearly and I think and then just try new things you know I've turned over lots of rocks essential oils chiropractic care green juice new workout ideas online bible studies you know whatever someone says hey this might work for you I'm like let me try that so I would encourage my younger self to really dive into some of that stuff sooner and I share all about this stuff on happyhealthy caregiver.com if people are interested in learning more. Well when you said that on the Facebook live feed a whole bunch of hearts just went flying through so thank you for that. It might be my husband he's he's my number one fan by the way you've got one of those two I think. Well not a husband but I do have a wife that's a number one fan.

I'm sorry that was just silly. All right so people want to find you where do they find you? Happyhealthycaregiver.com they can you know listen to the find all the links for the podcast social media and all the resources that I put out there so would love to connect with people and I just thank you for this opportunity I love your books I just finished your seven landmines one this morning and I'm going to pass that one on to my sister so you're amazing and just thank you so much. Elizabeth thank you it's a it's just a it's a real treat to have you on the show happyhealthycaregiver.com happyhealthycaregiver.com Elizabeth Miller we're going to have you back on we're going to have Denise on we're going to talk about this conference you're welcome anytime Elizabeth I really do appreciate it okay. Thank you happy Super Bowl Sunday everybody. This is Hope for the Caregiver this is Peter Rosenberger 800-688-9522. We'll be right back. Welcome back to the show For Caregivers About Caregivers hosted by a caregiver this is Peter Rosenberger I am so thrilled that you're with us 800-688-9522. You could follow along on Facebook live Hope for the Caregiver on Facebook and our website is hopeforthecaregiver.com podcast is all out there it's free please subscribe to it and and share these things with I put it all out there for free just take advantage of it and you'll find all kinds of interesting things we have the Your Caregiver Minutes that we put out there we that that that goes out over several hundred stations across the country but we put them out on the podcast Songs from Gracie name it we got video all kinds of cool things out there you could subscribe to it for free caregiverpodcast.com I can't make it any more affordable than free I'm not going to pay you to do it I'm just going to ask you to do it for free caregiverpodcast.com and let's just review a little bit today earlier today we had our caregiver tip of the day if you're going to judge yourself which too many caregivers do we judge ourselves without mercy we look at all of our mistakes all of our bad attitudes and everything else and there's plenty of it there's ample evidence that we fail okay ample evidence but if you're going to judge yourself then judge yourself fairly and look at your attendance record okay because your attendance record is flawless you keep showing up that's our starting point as caregivers I want you to start from there okay I want you to start from there okay we just took a giant step forward by evaluating ourselves fairly that we do show up now where do we go from there let's start working towards showing up without feeling miserable let's start working showing up and looking for ways to surprise ourselves with joy surprise ourselves with beauty surprise ourselves even with laughter you know it's available we can do this and then the next step after that it's let's show up healthier okay changing a little bit of things in our diet maybe get a little bit more exercise you know whatever that we need to do to push us towards a healthier life as a caregiver go to your doctor regularly support groups all those things and more are part of your journey as a caregiver that you can function better stronger healthier and even more joyful you see healthy caregivers make better caregivers and if you're miserable what kind of care are you providing okay and that that is something that is the the driving force of this show is to speak life into your life I don't want you to listen to all these things that are being broadcast across our media stuff about you know medically assisted death and late-term abortions and all these kinds of things people just say well if a child is born with deformities we'll just set it aside and we'll have a conversation later about it like the governor of Virginia said I don't want to have all that that's speaking death into your situation I want to speak life into your situation if you're taking care of a child with special needs and it's pushing you to the breaking point guess what we're going to pull you back from that breaking point and help you breathe a little bit if you're watching somebody you know that is languishing in the last days of their life we're not going to push you past that and say you know what it's okay to just go ahead and just check out as Job's wife said in Job 2 9 go ahead and curse God and die that's what the world offers we're going to do something different on this show we're going to speak life into your situation and let you know that even though you're in the valley of the shadow of death you don't have to fear any evil because he's not going to abandon you he hasn't and he won't he's already there waiting around every corner doesn't mean it's not going to be painful doesn't mean it's not going to be uncomfortable doesn't mean it's not going to be scary but it does mean you're not going to be alone and it does mean it's not the end of the story that's what this show is all about hope for the caregiver that conviction that we as caregivers can live a calmer healthier and dare i say it a more joyful life do you want to know more about this then go out to hopeforthecaregiver.com see how you can back away from these places of despair and start breathing a little bit easier take a knee if you have to that's what we're here for and there's so much more out there resources available for you would you take advantage of take advantage of don't do this alone friends don't let friends care give alone all right i gotta go see you next week hopeforthecaregiver.com i'm peter rosenberger healthy caregivers make better caregivers than today's a great day to start all right we'll see you next week