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October 17, 2020 8:00 am
Welcome fellow adventurers! The discussion on anger management continues right here on The Masculine Journey After Hours Podcast.
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Welcome to management journey after hours and you just join in as we been talking about the topic of anger and how we can see people in our lives. It did on one extreme or the other you know are sometimes recanted and that that either extreme. Depending on the situation and and in this common perception in Christianity that angers bad what's not bad. Now that's overtime out in the previous seven were to share some of our stories of dealing with our anger and then also how God can come after that. You are the first to go ahead and play a clip from a movie called what was it called happy Gilmore and so to go ahead and talk about this is you getting here that the sides of a couple guys being angry over a golf game and what you don't know about this clip is you have happy Gilmore who was a hockey player.
If you haven't seen the movie and he learns that he can hit a golf ball really long distance and so he qualifies for the pro golf tour in season.
This Pro a.m. kind of thing worries get a amateur with you have to be Bob Barker from what was right outside it even says that inherence up there playing together in the not playing very well. But what's happening in the background. Is this heckler that can hire to go along and make happy loses mind is really what stand happy because they loses his mind one more time we can get kicked off the tour and so we pick up.
This is a happy hearing from you heckler and then it goes from there. Well not make a spot all right happy, nice and hazy. That was not nice guys drive me crazy you know it's driving me crazy. You not get a lot of push me now was not the time we haven't seen happy Gilmore played this badly since his first day on tour Ian Bob Barker are now dead last.
I Believe your professional golfer.
I think you should be working at the snack bar. There is no way hockey is you are all right. Let's go want a piece of PCU. I want the whole, the price is not know now. You had enough play. That is, I think that's what her vision of anger is right you mad over a golf game. One guy says something that I get so mad Nelson fighting anything makes it funny is you think of Bob Barker's is really passing, kinda guy from a the price is right in the 90s completely against character in the movie, but that's not really what were talking about were not that the other that's her vision of anger.
But that's not the biblical vision of anger. Let's what's the biblical biblical visions of Jesus going to clear the temple is probably the best example of of a human being doing that, but you know Jesus talking to the Pharisees and calling them white wash sepulchers a meeting that's that's not you know coming out of a wonderful tender I just want to make sure that you understand my feelings well kind of place right humming that's coming out of an angry place. God is angry. He's he in God's is furious about his bride being mistreated and being taken advantage of. He is he is upset because of all of the injustice that's happening in the world and he avenges that coming. Enos Isaiah 61 talks about Jesus came to bind up the broken hearted set the captives free gift site back to the blind. All of that, but it also says that it's also the day of the Lord's vengeance. Vengeance is not a happy kind of feeling vengeance is anger, and so angers a very biblical thing and it's attributed to God in your created in his image, and it's attributed to you now do we handle it well.
Not not necessarily mean I've handled anger badly. Many times there was one just one of my stupid human tricks when I was very young I hated driving in traffic and I lived in Dallas Texas and I was a salesman and I had to drive 125 to hundred 50 miles a day in Dallas. In Dallas traffic is horrendous and I was just trying to get home one afternoon late in the day and I'm driving along in my little Trans Am and this guy just changes lanes right into me and literally coming.
Comes like an inch from hitting my car.
I swerve over all the way to the shoulder of the road to miss him and then he looks over and sees me in anyways like oh my bad pretty nice guy actually knowingly made a mistake right.
Well, that would be good enough for me. I passing on the shoulder. I get in front of them. I slam on the brakes, I'm gonna stopping right there in the highway and give him a piece of my mind. Well, he got out of the car and he was about 6 inches taller than me and outweighed me back about 150 pounds and oh yeah, he had a gun on his hip and a badge on his chest and he was a very nice policeman. Once I got to know him and so you know I mean honestly, he said, son, your angers probably going to get you killed. One day you're lucky that it didn't get you killed today. Had I not been a nice policeman. It might have. Now why don't you get your little Trans Am and drive safely home and I was like yes sir.
So anger can be bad and I've definitely had it put me in stupid positions before but but it's also something that rises up in a man when he sees major injustice that needs to be dealt with.
Whether it's in your life or your children's lives or or a stranger's life that you see being mistreated their times we take our anger to very unhealthy places.
I think there's times we tried to control it and not take it unhealthy places, so we tend to use a stand-in so to speak. You chart a story with us about how you would deal with some your anger in the work environment yeah but since we were talking about. Then I remembered another one that predated another one and another one when I was in school at Auburn I worked at the boardinghouse to get more meals, free because I didn't have barely enough money to go to school one day a guy made me so angry I wanted to rip his head off and hand it to what I needed to keep my job so I wheeled around and I headed back toward the kitchen. As I went through the door I smash my fist into the door jamb so hard that it broke my high school class ring on the backside that was one way I dealt with anger. But the one I told about asthma built, I worked as a computer programmer, systems analyst, and when I got angry. I had a practice of going to the computer room in an empty box taken it into my office and just kicking that box all over off the wall off the sale and I would smash it around and then I would step out the door, smiling him I'm okay with their heads. On the corner wondering what was going on. So Harold you inventor kickboxing. I'm old enough to have that jammies can MMA really is helpful contact look well the point point being is that I would always substitute an inanimate object rather than hurt a person that's a good start because I love you have been there.
I was known as a young father that put a whole wall or then I figured out that man I hate repairing drywall time so I am trying to find punching my fist in the doorways or the jambs where I'm like some harder so I didn't busted that boy. Her awful lot kind of finally cured me, but I do that a lot.
Gerald is how I learned it in the homebuilding industry fixing holes in walls and active learning how to repair drywall along the way little bit you use to your insured in this showed many times about my sister growing up and didn't realize how much the impact she had enough of what she would say to me to shut up and all that all the time and I really had an anger issue with my kids, primarily when they wouldn't listen to me. You know, I might have to tell them two or three times by time I got to the third time it was too late and they were Nana gets into the room, earning a spanking sentence can happen because you know it and I can figure out where this just over the top anger came from and I couldn't really do anything about it to one day I finally went to God and said God and what was that coming from. Is there not listening to you just basically saying what your sister always told you right and soon I could pray through some of that I could look at the situation with my kids. Different, I still wanted them to listen to me, but I was a much different person because I invited God back into that situation so taken it from a very unhealthy place because it really wasn't a healthy place and I get angry at some of the room. The punishment was usually not justified what it happened, especially at their age and how they get grounded forever.
You know those types of things in you now and it never ended up happening, but it is very they never knew what to get from dad and so some of those things are coming out sealed some of those things I've been able to be able to handle the situations a lot differently in a lot healthier situation in on. That's where just inviting guys. We talked about in the last episode kind into the situations and got what's really under that anger. What's really causing me to get that mad will help you kind unpack some of that in modern times allow you to be able to change into something a little differently. Yeah there are times you should be angry.
There's other times that I think we just get angry because it's pressing on things that remind us of other things and philosopher God. These boot camps and trying to actually faceup languor because regular talk about Sam.
I love to just hide my anger a love not to let anybody know what emotion a man so if I'm really happy I need act man if I'm really mad at ACCPAC. I can't let anybody understand where I'm really at note to me it's like it was like a sign of weakness or something. I don't know what was some weird just deep in me that a site like X can't let anybody know what I really feel about it and you live in that long enough and just messes you up mentally pictured you don't know what you believe yourself anymore know you. You're just constantly back and forth with stuffing and staying outside in my life. I spent one emotionally for Mike. I just don't know.
I have no clue what I really feel.
And that's just really sad but inviting Jesus and like you're saying to really deal with it and praying heavily over that and listen to other men tell their stories and see what they're dealing with it, then you can reflect on yours ago. Other something very similar to that need. Take that to God and I are getting more specific with it, it starts to help and does older healing, so please now hot.
I get angry but I'm much more the joy Carol say needs to live angry probably was actually pretty close to that to an you kindly start use give it up, inch by inch knows no avalanche says all you had one day it's all gone tomorrow.
You still have it but it's no the balance is gone. March more to the side of okay I can deal with these things and not just nothing I'm just holding in Bangor anymore because that's what I just do not just wait wait wait in the bomb ago that was me and now it's okay. I'm just not getting as angry and when I do I have to go yet.
Try to get a god but I will yell try to figure out what my emotions are and try to express them better and just trying to do that is very been very helpful for me very healthy. It is in its anger is a bad thing this week you get back to it's just that when we express it in a wrong way.
We need to say to God, why am I angry, even when you get angry in a justified situation. Sometimes it's good to see what's really under that so you know you know anything. Oh yeah, I should be angry about this and I thought of the time that I hadn't thought of in years where my son Eli was out playing with kid that lived across the street. Eli was a really tall kid in his like 3 foot tall and all his friends are like 2 foot tall you know any any continue to grow exponentially. You have the same way and so is always bigger than his friends and I member him coming home just bawling his eyes out, and what happened you know what happened and that the guy across the street that the data across the street had yelled at him and grabbed his arm and yelled at him in on asking what happened and what it happened was his friend who was quite a bit smaller than him. He was on the smaller scale of you know if you had the little scale. Eli was at the other end of it. Will that the decoded punch team and it made Eli mad so shoved him and knocked him down with anything dad saw was him knocking him down to grab my sons arm screamed adding you now, I'm just broke his heart in on. I just went over like lucky night a he's a little kid.
Don't ever yell at my son again and secondly you have an issue with income to me right in on a when it up talking through it. I never ended up talking to the guy getting moved way about your actual collection of this now, but I was I was I knew it was the right thing and needed to be dealt with because it was not handled right you know it and I think there are times that you know we need to get angry and it's maybe not the best example, but it's a real live example there are things that should make you mad, you know, in dealing with them in the right way is key. The problem that we see in a lot of society that that happens is people don't deal with it in the best way sometimes. You know the anger that's not been dealt with in that being people shooting a bunch other people right that type of thing thing I think about Matt, Sam, and that story is what that meant for Eli's heart. My dad my dad stood up for me and you know that's the kind of thing that that that leaves a huge mark on your family when you actually stand up and fight yeah when you edit boot camp for instance we talk about the fact that God created you in putting your heart. This desire to fight a great battle to live a great adventure to rescue you know beauty in the world to rescue things that need to be your people who need to be rescued and the reason he gave you that heart the reason he gave you anger as an emotion is so you can pull that off. You're going to need it because anger will cause you at times to do things that nothing else will I remember when I was a young guy, probably 20 years old or so my wife and I lived in a little community out in Oklahoma and all of a sudden we heard a lady across the street just screaming to the top of her lungs and I was it was in the time of year where windows open at the house and and I I looked at Damien said will sums going on. I said you don't go to the phone in case you need to call the police and I walked outside and this guy's just wailing on this lady in their garage. The garage door was open and she's running around the car trying to run from them and so I run out and start screaming, adding you know an enemy. It did make me angry that I'm white and he was a big strong guy like a bodybuilder type guy and I was hundred and 45 pounds. I didn't care, though. You know how was I was upset and God had put that in my heart to rescue right in and so there's a reason why God puts that Ayrton and and I was able to keep him from continuing to wail on this woman until the police got there now. It you know ended up me and him playing chase because I guy literally.
I was playing cat and mouse with the guy you know I was trying to keep from getting beat up, but I was trying to also keep her from getting beat up again. That's anger that's that desire to rescue that you know that God puts in you that sometimes it supersedes logic. Logic says anger is a bad emotion.
Anger is a weakness no anger is not a weakness. Anger is a strength that God put in you to be used for godly purposes. It's okay to be angry with your children. If your children are disrespectful to your wife or to your husband or whomever, it's okay to be angry with them. That's not right to sin in that anger.
But it's okay to show the child.
Hey, this is not appropriate and it won't happen in our house. You know, and in battle, that disrespect with anger just needs to be handled righteously. It does, I will request that you guys that have a site and prepared for.
Because I like to do. But if this is an emotion.
If this is something that will yeah swing it over here now it's it's commemorative. Let me ask you this question if you if I ask you your favorite movie. I would promise you that is, at least in the top three was one that deals with dealing with injustice writing a wrong fighting and injustice right so the question I have for you is what 20 your favorite movies but falls along those lines because that's what you talk about Darren as we see somebody rise up, we were talking about the movie Greyhound right it's on Apple plus right now with Tom Hanks and about this guy that battles to get to this group of people across the Pacific Ocean, Atlantic Ocean to get my room on notion or in the land of Goshen. I want to set a chance once it only two on the what's in the movies for you guys in NY that movie while you get a microphone if you gonna tell us that Shawshank redemption. Okay, why because the guy was imprisoning him committed a crime and he was being taken advantage of by the prison warden and the moon.
You haven't seen the movie. It's good because it ends up with it is.
It's about injustice that the one, two years ago, not heartbreak Ridge. I say that hacksaw ridge right about the guy that that just wasn't burning desire. Desmond Dawson Desmond us right that burning desire to save others right to go out there and fight against our government at the time to go have the ability to rescue what was account that he exited the movie the said it was 75. I think it was but it was his wellness over hundred people that night.
Over that time. Hacksaw's death in one of the top and then I always loved cowboy movies so you can rattle off you know a ton of those who know but that's where you know you always want that the guy in the white had to be the guy in the black hat right kind of things were inside guys want though the righteous winner to be there and that's what you know God site put in us and dwells inside of us. It a.m.
We love the overcome her Rocky movies we love them right now. Rocky County consciously comes back battles back from all kinds of different things.
Well, there's the enemies in the ringer the enemy outside the ring you just love those things you cowboy movies demos one with the free grazers. The open Reynosa range I human nature yeah right you know it. Why do those quotes whether those movies speak to your heart because were talking about a righteous anger and that's what this world needs is people filled with the desire to fight anger righteously damning to fight with anger righteously yet that's the rhyming it's so hard for me to nail down one movie but I would say the one that comes to mind more than any is also the hardest to watch and that's Braveheart here's a guy that rises up, he's legitimately angry.
He's legitimately passionate about saving people who are being slaughtered.
People who are being taken advantage of and rescuing numbing.
You know, it has the adventure to live. It has the battle divided as the that the the whole bunch of beauty to rescue freedom itself is what's being rescued and so yeah and you know just the amount of of anger but it's also a great movie of a guy who kind of understands how to control that anger condemning it there's there's a lot of good no scenes in that movie about that Danny. I love water I'll watch it every topic alone is kind of the same thing. He's using fighting injustice. Other he tries Minitab to get away from law enforcement. These drug back in the colder towns in trouble resulted love that company absolutely Robbie, you are saying so I couldn't reach her look animal house has there's always just track you fighting on a young version injustice, but defiance and another one that will yeah the guys just love to watch a boot camp you know about brothers rising up against the Nazis you own a small band that saved hundreds of people write thousands thousand and over about a four year period during World War II. The Bielski brother save. I think I think it's around 2200 2700 people, something like that saved their lives.
Just by creating the social community that you know and and it was out of anger that that was done. I mean, you know they were angry and one brother had a difficult time controlling that anger at times, but but it the movies real about it numbing and you know anger can get pretty ugly. You can, but that doesn't mean you kill anger you know passion is something that's an attribute of God.
Anger is something that's an attribute of God. Love is not the only attribute of God and love actually gets angry. God is love that is scriptural right. God is love will love gets angry at times and deals with it in love, absolutely. Think of the times that as a parent you had to have anger with your child out of love, not when I was just angry because is mad about something, but because I needed them to understand the seriousness of the situation not when I threw my son across the room. Maybe, and how old he was very bit the other. There's plenty of times that anger needs to be used, but the problem is we use it so often in a wrong context and a wrong way out of our own heart and not out of the heart. That's desire to partner with God yeah that's something that the boot camp does so much to help you understand where that emotion and always though things are going to come into play from reality standpoint because you can't sit there and live in this world where okay I was to make it up as I go. I don't know where I'm going but I'm going to figure it out and make it up and get all by myself. You got invite God into got a bring them with you and having all the pumps in the other stories in the context of what God is as a warrior and as a fighter and the righteous anger part of it.
You can start to move your cell in that direction absolutely and a lot of her anger comes from wounded parts of our heart rate and it gets touched on it may not even be the same situation. It feels like it here love to say that this feels like that and so makes me angry right having God help you delve into that and find out what's causing it is a long-term path to healing that lead to the place where you can have righteous healthy anger in those situations in the walk through it with him to keep coming up November 12-15. This is the Truth Network