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December 10, 2020 4:00 am
For many caregivers, the relationship between themselves and their loved ones may have faded beyond recognition due to cognitive impairment. When you're loved one can't remember your name, getting a card from them is certainly out of the question. Here's an idea I came up with years ago that seemed to catch on for a lot of my fellow caregivers.
If you need some help with it, call my friends Ken and Cindy Najar at Logos Bookstore in Nashville TN. (615) 297-5388. You don't have to live in Nashville ...or even TN. They help people with this and other things from literally around the world.
Healthy Caregivers Make Better Caregivers, and that healthiness always starts at the heart level. This is a great way to help ease the heartache you may carry as a caregiver.
Christmas gift why not the one with the chicken leaving applicable as Christmas gifts chicken maybe it's not the get for your family, but it gives the perfect gift for poor family ninja chicken can break the cycle of poverty for poor family yes chicken chickens and provide food and nourishment for family and they can sell those eggs at the market for income when you donate a chicken or any other gospel for Asia.
One percent of what you give goes to the field and get the ball went gospel fundraiser to support family and Jesus family this Christmas and give them six explanation see chickens and camping. John click on the CD cover there.
But whatever you want to do so.
The copy that to you by way of the book hope for the caregiver is a great Christmas gift. Good stocking stuffer is hard enough friends of friends caregiver long okay so give them the gift of somebody who has been slogging away this up in my 35th years in caregiver and learned a few things along the way and John's been a big part of that with me John. Dip your sensuous cloth into the jar and pull out a Christmas gift she wants law.
Let's see how it your raptor like you did. So I so I will I will use this raptor like appendage to write a Christmas card to myself, you know, that's that that's one of my favorites. And I'll tell you what I really like their book the idea of the obvious becomes obvious right before becomes obvious that the. The reason I did that would is because there are a lot of caregivers whose loved one is impaired to the point where they cannot do this anymore. They cannot buy a Christmas card or are they there that they're not a refund. They know they are sometimes man and or birthday card anniversary things such as that the very concept of the card escapes the bit you know it it is it is it is heartbreaking for that particular floor for what would you deal with spouses like this and I I suggested this some time ago it it it it caught on.
AARP did some stuff with me on this and and and others. It really caught on and I said go get a card and write a car, get a card of what that level and would say if they could say it if they were impaired because sometimes that level will become abusive or hateful or angry because the dementia takes over and it just in the relationship. Just you know is gone and you're dealing with dementia and Alzheimer's are not dealing with the person anymore or whatever psychosis or whatever it is mental illness doesn't matter, but they can't. But if they were healthy.
What would they say to you, what would you say to somebody who's doing what you do and get that card and then always recommend that stick a $10 bill in it. You have yeah just for kicks and giggles for yourself because you know who and who doesn't like to open a card with money in it and now I'm in II.
We joke around it is. It sounds funny but there is a very big psychological thing that happens when cash is involved. Something about cash well and and and and also when you have a note of affirmation that comes in the mail to you. Days after you send it so you don't know what could be happening two days from now you may be having a really bad day in the open that up and says hey I just want you to know I love you that that there's something about that and and for caregivers it is not inappropriate to affirm what you doing what you're doing and who you are and this is where this whole show it. This is the this is the whole show it at its core, because if your heart is a train wreck your wallet will be your body will be your relationships will be think back to that that woman who was pushing her frail mother she was 350 pounds every bit of it where you think the biggest wages is not her body. It's on her heart and if we could help ease that heart and gives her a fighting chance do with the body weight. Those people that are afraid to talk to something like tell me about their money. It's their heart that's keeping from that if we can help them understand that if the heart is healthy.
Everything else gets a shot.
It is sometimes it helping that heart get healthy is is something simple like card you know to yourself because you're worth doing this for what you're doing is extraordinary and and and I know of couples done this and I have one lady, a member calling in and you know her husband passed away and it was good be there first Valentines without him each other and and and she was a little bit emotional and and I said to her, as it will asked her what was his favorite meal and she says spaghetti and I said how about making a big ole pot of spaghetti.
If you have a friend or two over and celebrate the extraordinary love that you two had and you can just almost, it was over the phone but you can just hear her perk up and she you can just hear Bree that which is the gasp of oxygen deficit is a great guy. I go to do that and inch and and I thought you it doesn't have to be complex, so if you can send the card to yourself this is you know what well done and celebrate that love that you have maybe your your husband or your wife can't remember you anymore okay. But if they were impaired they would remember you and what would they say get a card it says that and if you need some help picking out one of those cards, you know, asked somebody to help you with a trusted friend or so forth and and you can you can always call my friend can make sure over at Locust bookstore Nashville 615-297-5388 and tell them over the phone that I sent you there. I don't care what you call from you call from Timbuktu and say Ken or Cindy is his wife. You say, Peter sent me here because I cow to pick out a card that does this and I'm to fragile to do that if you pick out he will do that. You know how I know that because there've been times when Gracie could not get to a card store for my birthday or for anniversary and she would call them up and they would pick out just the right card and help her get for me okay so want you take a shot at that 615-297-5388 and you know and and in get them to pick out a card for this. Say you are doing something extraordinary. Merry Christmas to yourself and don't ask you to put $10 in because he will work in your back and defend our game to the far search for Jesse Wood that he would do you know the these are little things caregivers can do for themselves and and it it may sound simple but you know what I found John by lengthy years know that sometimes the simplest is best lawyer in Internet you can save a lot of it's coming down to saving time saving energy and everything like out, but it's as being efficient about. It's like now were just worried about saving you as a caring exactly yeah and and if you got up call a card shop bookstore in Nashville Tennessee because your hearts to fragile, so what do it because you will benefit and you beat and you be surprised to get a card to kid and said he would pick up for you. You know, so those little things.
It is not totally didn't get do it this week. 6152 975-3880 soon as you hear this pick about calm and say Ken Peter told me to call you and you just pick a carcass into because I don't know what else to do. I'm absolutely I'm so discouraged and you can get it in the mail today.
Sleep you know just doing okay your heart is worth. Healthy caregivers make better caregivers and it always starts at the heart. Hope you had a good time to help you learn a few things and got a little bit of courage and felt a little bit more connected isolation cripples caregivers. We don't want to go. That alone brings deliverance caregiver will hopefully caregiver.com John your beautiful person on every change I see it actually