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"Writer's Write" - lessons from an award-winning Father of son with Down Syndrome.

Hope for the Caregiver / Peter Rosenberger
The Truth Network Radio
October 12, 2019 9:00 am

"Writer's Write" - lessons from an award-winning Father of son with Down Syndrome.

Hope for the Caregiver / Peter Rosenberger

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October 12, 2019 9:00 am

October is National Down Syndrome Awareness Month, and my long time friends Greg and Aaron Tornquist called the show on Sirius XM Family Talk 131 to discuss their journey. Aaron (41) has down syndrome, is a serious bowler, works, and is an Elvis Tribute Artist.  

His father, Greg, has a lengthy music/performance history and his new project, Mississippi The Musical. (it just won "Best of the Fest" in the New York Musical Festival. 

https://www.mississippithemusical.com/

Greg beautifully models a creative life as a caregiver and shares about his journey as a single dad with Aaron. 

Also in the show, another Nashville writer , Lisa Dale Daniels, calls in to share her journey in caring for her famous songwriter mother ...and learning to carve out her own identity as a writer. 

Writers Write ...Even While Caregiving. Especially while caregiving. 

The show is the family caregiver outreach of Standing With Hope.

 

 

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Christmas gift why not the one she can have a couple of chicken maybe it's not the get for your family, but it gives the perfect gift for poor family ninja chicken can break the cycle of poverty for poor family yes chicken chickens and provide nourishment for family and they can sell mosaics at the market for income when you donate a chicken or any other gospel for Asia. 100% of what you give goes to the field and get the ball went gospel fundraiser to support family of Jesus family this Christmas, give them six explanation see chickens and camping live on Sirius XM family talk 131 this is the nation's number one show for the family caregiver.

I am Peter Rosenberg. I am glad to have with this. This show is designed, built exclusively for those of you who are putting yourself between the vulnerable of one of the worst disaster that could be somebody who's aging somebody who is doing special needs trauma with mental illness somebody who is an alcoholic and addict. Those are chronic impairments. Whatever the impairment. If there's a chronic impairment.

There's a caregiver. How are you doing this is to show for you and we are glad that you're with us 877-655-6755 877-655-6755 if you want to be a part of the show and we would love to have you with us.

We will take whatever's on your mind.

When we have topics that will deal with but if you got something that is just pressing on you that you're struggling with whatever you know what will bring everything to a screeching halt and deal with whatever's on your mind.

Speaking of screeching halt.

He is the baron of the board. The salt of the sale, the Earl of engineering.

The man who put the word care into purely the tips or she is John Butler the count of muddy disco.

Everyone I have a caregiver to work on these things all week long for you, I just, I will realize how much of your considerable mental abilities. I'm slowly grateful for the Lavilla less if they don't ever let say the remarkable in that I can remarkable the more you want John, are you feeling well. I am feeling fantastic. I was a little bit ill in the way. In the days leading up to Best Buy to the powers of the green tea and honey have brought me back from the dead that's that's good because we have things to do here. John's cohost, if you don't usually get John's. I don't know if that now it doesn't work I got know what's it's it's been we finally had a cold front come for national it. I hear it's quite chilly up there we go in the 90s the past two weeks solid. Here's July 71st is July 71st being a quadruple leap year I we can be 9 here Wednesday night because you are a course in Montana.

Yeah it is in Dallas. It is like you stick your snout in here yes or just like to make sure you with this a people know that you're there. That's 97 in Dallas, you poor fool. When you guys are nice and comfortable on Wednesday night will be will be cuddled 9 so anyway blessed of this is to show how we do things here is your window overdoing wheat we want you and we want you all to to enjoy the show.

This is your time and John and I will banter back about a lot of different things, but ultimately everything we do here is for the family caregiver just to give you rest. Just to give you place you can hang your hat and catch a breath little bit taken me if you have to and it's a speak fluent caregiver here and there. 65 million people out there putting themselves between the vulnerable of what even worst disaster every day in this country we are interested in helping you stay strong and healthy. That's what this is all about and helping you find your way through this.

You don't have to wait for it to end for you to be healthy, happier you don't even calm her through this.

You don't have to. You have to get this off if you, for you to live a better quality of life. You can live a better quality of life while you doing this and organist spent some time talking about that today. One of things we always have is our caregiver tip of the day. Our caregiver tip of the day will.

It's a little bit differently John, but it is find something you love and do it while being a caregiver. Nestl said well I love being a caregiver.

Well I get that. Okay, that novelties can wear off after couple decades even even in those couple decades. You're still doing it because you have some sort of love for it, but that's not what were talking about. This is something extracurriculars right find something you love that you love to do in in my case I love music and John you like music but you will like you like calligraphy to. I do think you have jumped on my just like you just come right beside his name.

You know it, but practicing autographs I mean he has all kinds of nibs and you collect antique Winston don't I do I well we thought about the flea market will I hear the free market restricted manager please get us a sling on nibs yeah exactly are fantastic. You busy if you're writing in Opera. There's really no going on something really well, but there's there's a lot of that there's things about you. You gave me something wonderful once and that was my my favorite Psalm was play skillfully. Please give Jeff Psalm 33. Three. Which by the way our guest today that that's something that would register but you don't music. Of course, music.

You and I both love music up.

I got to play yesterday I was asked to play for a funeral out here for a long time cowboy. He's 89 years old and he'd been in this valley here for a lifetime, and local rancher and the family asked me to play and I accompanied a young lady who sang for it and it was and she was wonderful. She just really wonderful young singer and her parents asked me if I would play we did.

It was kind of a western song that the family wanted to hear and become slowed it down. Diderot nice and at the very end of because at the front of the church and I'm a broadcaster from the church up temporarily while we were service music ministry here and in Southwest Montana and they had at the church. They had a saddle and his hat in his boots and his belt buckle up in his lariat the whole thing was on display and it was just really meaningful abuse is.

It was a part of Americana that we just were losing but at the very end of the song and I hit the tonic of the song that the main court of the song for those you don't know music that will and hid it in it and I just kinda rolled up to the top of the keyboard and then I went happy and I was you know that's something that just energizes me is to participate in music and I want I want as many caregivers as possible to it really push yourself to find something you love doing that you truly love doing and and do it. You don't have to go out and do it on the big stage or anything like that it can be just it could be gardening could be writing a poem, something that just gets those creative beauty juices going.

Yeah just the thing that you you enjoy.

I know IIIII generally liken this to creating something more than that of things like gardening is a is a productive act or calligraphy is a productive act. You're making a thing ever music up and things like that but there can be other things to can be you. You like working at the soup kitchen or whatever, but find the thing that you love. It's outside of your normal thing that's it, yet it's all away from caregiving and if you can't leave where you are. Leave it in a somewhat emotionally if you will.

We need a work in the garage and into some woodworking or something while woodworking is the best or to smell great.

It's and what is that was at Cologne. It's a maple sawdust life every day anyway. Listen, I was doing rosewood slip two very special guest on the show right and Andy and these are longtime friends of mine and favorites of mine as well and these are this is a very special moment. This is national down syndrome awareness month and my friend Greg Congress and his son Aaron torque was on the phone right now with this and will give a talk about this in Aaron you there will not hear from you. Greg you there.

I Greg and Aaron are joining us in. Aaron is the air you're 40 years old now, aren't you will not want now 41, my mistake.

Aaron, I'm sorry 41 years old and you have you have down syndrome and you live a very very exciting life and you are tell us a little bit one of the things that you love to do will surprise a lot of people what is something you really love doing Aaron why I live from start dying. Now when you see your elder stuff you're not an Elvis imitator you are an Elvis Tribune artist and you have you have multiple Elvis costumes and outfits right now. How did you get into to being an Elvis Tribune artist start back and I have all hello Scott, well I was brought suit wire which which suit wasn't black lightning ball and goal debacle was clam microphone that you been in that hole will distribute artist mode ever since. Yes, you have multiple multiple multiple suits correct yeah what your favorite settler Elvis plot that I set your old you are, the older young Elvis way back in that when he was a young, thin and rock 'n' roll so you don't, you're not really into the capes and the rhinestones in the big college majority sunglasses I love it.

I will greatly talk to Aaron. If you don't mind will talk to you your dad for just a minute okay okay will Greg how you feeling great a couple questions are articular tip of the day was about finding something you love to do. You don't have to wait to stop being a caregiver. You do it while you're being a caregiver will and John just quoted his favorite verse that I gave him which was Psalm 33 finish that for me Greg. 33. Click skillfully and shout for joy will and see that's John. John loves at first, but you actually have. I think a publishing company about that that you that's a big important verse to you and you kind of a press that on the me many many years ago to really do this well and and play skillfully but you are a a a you are longtime musician. You are like a rock and roller in the 60s. All I come stuff and you've you've maintained all of that through your journey's failure is a single father with a son with Down syndrome and its but you have not stopped creating tell us about your new project that you got in the wards and so forth. Well, you're right. I think the important thing jumped out on 33 not love the golden altar. New songs mean? Keeping it daily daily relationship with Mark Anthony new project I'm working on. Been working on for over a decade of sippy the musical follow-up to our dance and song need to call and we participated with New York, July 1 of the best of And now are looking at other opportunities that will hopefully lead eventually to Broadway and unite. I support the idea of caregivers following their own unique passion because you can't just write your life by the person you giving care to maintain your own your own passion and and for me that love his writing. And that's now expressed in the musical well in this thing one best assessed New York. That's right, I mean then that's it.

That's amazing and and even running for a long time and a lot of songs and you have written together in and it's it's but it's you know you didn't set out to write best assessed New York you to set up to keep writing and keep writing and keep writing and and I think here it is you that you been serving as a is a character flaw time of your Aaron is your son it's in and in. You guys have a fabulous relationship and and all that but you kept that uniqueness of who you are, musically, throughout this entire journey and do you like in this process of being a caregiver, then I wouldn't really have much to offer.

Aaron started, like when your client on the plainly think that on your map put on your children's math. It seems counter productive but it's the only way to work and always be in writing music and story I'm working on a plate as well so yeah writing is I'm a writer. Writers right people are like that. Now I can start writing write something just write a writer you will write in writing for decades and a lot of different genres, so I'm very fortunate to have found something that I can do for my entire life. Years ago, something you did really stuck with me that his consent because you know but to me it made a big impact and it was after church and you had been leading the music and you were restringing your guitar and you looked at me and you said this is something I treat myself to to be able to do new strings on my guitar and to spend that kind of time with my instrument.

After church, and so for this is kind of your thing, I don't.

Do you remember saying that no, I guess my point was I dirty not capacity for me. My reward will be part yeah and when that always stuck with me and and this is this is something you did I do this for me it helps me become a better musician and helps me better organize my thoughts and as a caregiver we we we it's important for us to take those moments we don't need to simply put our life on hold and and I see this with too many people this and will will will just wait till such and such.

You know, either.

Mom gets better or goes on to be with Jesus or whatever and then we'll get on with their lives in you know particular think with special needs children you you have to lift a car but a life. No matter what's going on and you found a help model that for me over the many many years.

You also said something about just how your life has changed in your understanding of of of life and music and everything else in your relationship with Aaron talk about that will be more well with Aaron where to start was on 41 years ago it was common for hospitals, jet parents, not to even take the children home like 25 now the life expectancy for down United States. The remarkable change. Parents did go with the doctor's advice of just turning their children their baby. Vince over to date slowly fire red with Aaron now marathon.

Surprising how well he's doing not only with. I but when he was but he is a boulder. One would be folding here is the last year. His hygiene 33.

Those of you who not only hard to do that. That's not like my golf game that's great.

He works as a nearby plate, breaks and works during the lunch hour. There Monday through Friday excelling at that same relationship with his girlfriend for 25 years, she felt a woman with Down syndrome and they have been technically engaged for about 10 years there have a full life lifting me happy. Caring for folks whether there came forth does not have a full life and my heart goes out to them. Even still, it is important for the caregiver himself or herself to take care of themselves because each. Everything one and did not need to require something down the road you won't be able to get them because you're exhausted because you didn't take care of yourself so I encourage everyone giving care to also take time not being selfish? Aaron, let me ask you questions when your dad won this award that the New York best assess this film festival in this the special he is not musical yet you know how that make you feel so I had on down a lot, all while you are planning how well it might well in this is yet he's been working on this for some time and in do you feel like he's got more musicals in them to write what he's a very good writer and I know you I know you're proud of them in the know Greg, I gotta tell you been here you are, you been writing a long time to get when you told me about this award and I thought was really something. When you know what we know each other what 30 years and more than 30 years. You were you were there when I walked out with our son Parker who's 31 now.

I walked out caregiver you are right there as I can about the door I was holding Parker to show you what you said you were standing right there looking what you got there.

Really going to the long time. Your writing and you've had in the back your mind certain things your writing, and so forth. But to do this and I think it just says it it it model. So much for fellow caregivers that you know what you just keep doing it likes it writers right you keep doing it. You keep writing you explain yourself you push yourself musically and I'm not to tell people how old you are but you been doing this for a while and here you are, you're still achieving you're still you're still breaking new ground. Find out of yeah I'm not ashamed one will I never affected it. I've been retired for 12 or 13 years but not right and I didn't expect this to happen but it did and now where I now like actors in New York and produce musical director, and stage managers all the people in my life and the blessing for me and I enjoyed participating in the musical Festival and it was great that we want. Well that is not the reason that I was writing it, and without even it, regardless of who are not working well yeah my goal is to have this show on page and so people can get the message of the show shall basically even though it had in 1959 in bracelet to meet the theme of the show together we can make it and live it, love life.

You know this. I love that people want to find out more about the show. How would they do it you can get the ball all one word and very elaborate website. All kinds, I went out and a link to it on this podcast about that one. Listen we gotta go. Aaron, thank you so much for joining us today and and sharing your dad with this. I appreciate his October is national Down syndrome awareness month and Greg Torgerson. His son Aaron joining us to talk a little bit about that noble way will be right back 877-655-6758 776-5567 55 this is over. Caregivers struggle to trust God when things happen to you and Gracie Rosenberger 1983 I experienced a horrific car accident leading 80 surgeries in both legs and became questioned why God allowed something so brutal to happen to me. But over time I questions changed and I discovered courage to trust God understanding, along with an appreciation for quality prosthetic limbs led me to establish standing with help more than a dozen years we been working with the government of Ghana and West Africa, equipping and training local workers to build and maintain quality prosthetic limbs for their own people on a regular basis.

We purchased ship equipment and supplies and with the help of inmates in a Tennessee prison.

We also recycle parts from donated lambs all is to point others to Christ. The source and my help and strength, please visit standing with help.com to learn more and participate in lifting others@standingwithout.com. I'm Gracie.

I am staining with help. How do you feel your body sluggish. How about your mind.

What about sleeping is that difficult for you when you had your last physical.

What did you learn about your health. Should you lose weight if you are like so many caregivers those are hard questions you didn't get here overnight, and you won't change it overnight.

But there are steps you can take starting today. Find more information@ahealthierlifeforyou.com that's a healthier you.com. The show for caregivers about figures hosted by caregiver IMP Rosenberger. This way we caregiver we are so glad to have with this if you would be part of the show 877-655-6755 877-655-6755 will try to get to some coals a little bit later. Here John out. I just I love that with Greg calling images that he's had this musical that is done best of their New York Knicks not like it was best in Sheboygan whose protestant New York and you know inset That's wrong with the Sheboygan only getting yeah yeah you whiny angry letters. I cannot answer everyone at your picture official Jeff but I think that's what we want caregivers to understand is that you can indeed have a meaningful life and and and activities that you pursue that have deep personal value to you, even while serving as a caregiver. You do not have to wait to stop serving as a caregiver for that happens not only how these things are necessary, they can hat you can have a full and rich life. But not only can you you you should have a full hearse life outside us being caregiver like your your your wife is a Venn diagram and there's bits of it that are better for being caregiver. But there's more to it than just that I might not be the best metaphor, but still thin diagram and and space. It looked all right, but if you mess with me and I am now invented that on them, then please go ahead with it. It's what I do know I think you're right and I we talked about this for many years. It's not something that is, it really is a luxury we think of it as such and and so therefore we put it off but I say to you that you be bit better is a caregiver when your hearts in a better place is like Greg said you know he has more to offer Aaron now because he is in a better place himself professionally, musically, spiritually, physically, financially, all these things were not as a force now is not a zero-sum game where like you're taking away from one so you can give it to another and nothing is gained from its you can't just do all want all of one or all of the other news you have to find the proper balance of things that makes everything work as greater than the sum of its parts. The roundabout way of saying well and this is what we want caregivers to understand and this is what we do the show and you find those things that really speak to your heart and it and do them in. And if you don't let you find is is that you the resentment will kick in and I learned a long time ago as a pianist that it's very hard to play piano with clinched fist and I struggled with the concept of this thing of somehow that I've got to have everything orderly in my life before I start doing things of beauty or value or whatever to me and I've or sometimes felt like I had to control those things and that was even worse for me as a caregiver is that because I was at was it was it's a false sense of control.

You cannot control these things and and I embarrassingly and cringing really look back at things that I was trying to just muscle to the ground and I remember I was at a rodeo here this summer.

John and I watched one of the activities ahead where a a a the guys were right rush out of the chute and then leap off of perfectly good running horse onto a running steer.

They would wrestle it to the ground okay okay you get by what you got a lot of static on your you're in on that. But I was upset about that but I just thought you might want another job but I was I was watching these guys do this and in the get a D did they lift off of a perfectly good horse and hurled themselves onto a erratic running steer that had horns, and I'm thinking this is just where is II can I can understand the the sport was not the right word, but the challenge of it all to be able to successfully do such a thing and get up without having broken but hopes yet I cannot help but see the parallel in the life of the caregiver and we caregivers tend to try to leap on the things and and wrestled to the ground that we really don't need to be doing so because we can get hurt and were going to hurt others and that that's part of our journey is caregivers is that we are to learn what we need to back off of. We don't have to muscle everything hard-core with this and and I was doing and and I thought okay I gotta go. Gotta go do this and and then I got put this in containment so that I can go do this and this and that whole I got I got I got versus I'm going to I'm going to do this.

Like Greg said he didn't set out to write a award-winning musical he just wrote and I've heard that before.

Within in Nashville with many losers and so forth. What they would say in what we do know how to become a writer. When you write fiction you write and so it's those are things that that is caregivers find that thing that you do that really stirs in your heart and does what what what you're hoping will give you some oxygen into your soul and you desperately needed you desperately needed it speak because if you don't hear your you're running on fumes and then how does that help you as a caregiver you track it with me 877-655-6755 hey I do need to ask a favor 877 I gotta say the slower John Tobin. Six lower slower. Note 877-655-6755 but I do need as you favor we get to the phones.

I need some these. I need some these is only living sibling of yourselves are when Gracie gave up her legs after try to save them for years after her horrible right back in 1983 she had this incredible vision to put prosthetic legs under fellow amputees and that's what she does. We do this through an organization organization called standing with hope that she found and what happens is as we collect used prosthetic limbs from around the country they go to a Tennessee prison run by our friends at core civic and core civic they have multiple facilities all around the country and this is one of their many faith-based programs and inmates volunteer volunteer to be able to disassemble these legs in a special shop inside the prison and what happens is that we can recycle virtually every part of the leg except the socket that's where it's actually custom molded to that patient. But everything else can be recycled, pilots, screws, adapters, feet, connectors, and knees. And so if you know someone that has been in a PT for a while. They probably got extra legs that they've grown out of that they don't use anymore or maybe you know some of these in the funeral home business and families come to them all the time and they don't know what to do with it. Please don't let them bury those things. Please don't let them throw them away. We can help somebody else walking but will do his will. Take the sparks and send them over to West Africa and then we will use them to build a brand-new prosthetic leg. For patients there who were waiting to walk and when we just we just need may extend only to towards end of the year part of the last quarter we get a lot of these legs and arms will take arms to, but mostly legs that come in, but were asking just for extra push okay standing with hope.come steady with hope.com you go and seal a bit more, which is shared on your social media pages, Twitter, Facebook whatever LinkedIn share it with people say hey look, this is something push this out because people don't know what to do with these devices after the levels passed away. Or maybe they've outgrown over something kids go through a lot of gray. She's been through a lot legs in her 28 years as of the 2028 years is a pretty and so those are things that I would be and I just we would really appreciate that if while you're there if you want help me. A part of the ministry. Please.

This is a good time to to get involved with this tax-deductible gift. You can sponsor this radio show. You can sponsor a limb. You can sponsor resin. I know that doesn't sound very sexy to sponsor, but resin is a big part of what we do we have to buy this and it's expensive but that's how you make these sockets. Such a great work that Gracie vision. After she stepped in the world.

54. The point of being an entity and and she's she's an extraordinary individual.

I love you read your story and can hear her music and hear the things that she's done with this will alright I'm going to do something I don't normally do. John standby I'm going to take a call them very uncertain about and over to go for it and it had you stand close by. With that, but I do know this person and has all the notes on the left that okay I do know this person, Lisa, Dale, write what he got going and Lisa were all waiting. I will hello honey, we can hear you. Make sure you stay very well. It's cured very well maybe not caring thank you for that and thank you for the lack now we have your pick. We have your picture above the call screening software. We know who great detail. Melanie got her nearby. Really when we were six is still close when you got your account on 20 I got out of white make laconic progress. I wanted I really tickled that he had written that need to cope because years in cattle. He and Carol had written on Christmas need to call. It wasn't really a need to call program. Thank you that we get hurt on there, what I might not get an accounting grant like it should be really really bad, full circle thing. I think it's wonderful and got away, turn this on, and you know you you you guys were already cannot immediately recognize Greg's boy and I'm just thrilled her hand will all of this is a single parent of a special child and is now 41 years old. So this is not a well I know it is not a short-term issue.

So I think what I hope this will be as inspiring to a lot of caregivers out there do you know what the journey can be long and it is been is not been easy for Greg or Aaron and but at the same time, he still productive and native and still doing stuff he still punching through the parent doesn't suffer the way some people suffer with things. Aaron is is is trust to be more independent. Like Greg said he has a very full rich life but to say these things weigh heavy on them that you don't Greg is getting older and in errands getting older and okay what what's going to happen next. You know that kind of thing is Carina, but at the same time he lives life in the moment not out in fear and he does it so anyway but I jumped in the go ahead keep going for lab and watching family was well and can you want a more caring child that could not be on challenges thinking thinking personally on me caregiver for five or six years as a full-time caregiver for my enemy and my stepfather Gail and she passed little over two years ago he passed that year and half ago that cat one still hope that people will discuss and keep in the forefront of our packing that you keep a balance and it really difficult to be creative when Alec next caring for and finding balance in your second bank account, depending on the personality types for him.

We care on an air similar situation. Perhaps where folks go and he can maybe chat came when I found caring for someone to kick in their entire life. Why a difficult place to to get in which to be and I think the first thing that I want people know this, there are places you can go when you have some of you is treating you poorly. Whether it's emotionally or physically, and I would recommend you start off things you hear me say regularly on the show was wins last time you saw your doctor okay and I got with your own physician who could then offer you referral to some type of counselor mental health counselor of some kind with social worker, licensed mental health counselor somebody that you can say these things to who could pinpoint you to place a safety. That's why do the will to do that. I want to go back to what you said, writing in the midst of the six being creative in the midst of it and doing something of joy like that when refocusing little bit more on songwriting right now and in that crack that kind of discipline but the principle applies across the board you sits on the me years and years and years ago your songwriting to Minnesota for very long time.

Your mother was a very, very successful songwriters will and what you said something I don't have ago.

It's like it's a muscle writing is a muscle and ranking member tell me that, but you did pay attention to. I just want you know I did pay attention to. I don't do them all and please don't use that as a precedent. I just wonder when I'm talking and counterclockwise in the sense of that writing is a muscle you don't sit there and necessarily right and say okay like Greg said I didn't set out to write a hit musical set up to write something that I cared about and no matter what's going on. Just keep writing, just writing, just keep doing it. In my case and answer. Sometimes I would sit on the piano and I just didn't feel like I could do anything but iced. I force myself to sit at the piano and play something you know only in chopsticks.

You know whatever, but it did you doing something that is getting it out of your system, and it may not be granted may not be perfect but that's not the point.

The point is to work muscle because of the stronger you get. So I did pay attention you when you said that years ago right now and I am writing a C and then she's right screamed loudly and loudly. Now more mom a lot and I been interesting to start stepping my caroling in my feet and my lag back in the water creatively and I worked at catalog and she likes accountants first publishing that we had a con mayor that great great template To work within the word and yes I am finally able on the staff that is non-internally sound going back to being a muscle pure think I lay nationally and typically fell exhausted mainly mentally hard to get to that place and thankful to the Lord that it scaled hair publish some of the songs he wrote the time otherwise because I don't know how you sing Cut cut cut cut cut Actually make music to my line caregivers in the listing right now, please understand that support an important part of the journey to to get that stuff out because it's already day. Let's let's get out. You don't have to publish out you don't have to pitch it to to a record company you don't you don't go out if you like gardening you don't have to go out there and trim all your bushes to say swear with words of the front your heart you don't do things, but what are vigorously taking notes on my next book, but what what do you have to do for your own sanity is get it out get it out.

Whatever it is not you. If you want to get in your work. The woodworking shop and do it if you like to I got a friend of mine who is a big knitter coming.

She loves knitting. I mean she's got is that that she goes to the tomb of the unknown knitter mean she is and and and and you will but that's how she does it in and that's how she processes a lot of things and and what ever it works that floats your boat on your heart deserves to have that outlet and I'm glad to hear that you're lying so I'm always can write that can only count a little insecure writing mom. What a great lyric United and finding that I write.

I'm capable of doing more than I had credit for an eight night And you know I start getting it went down can take great and we don't want that. You don't want any kind of negativity are there for too long and gaining that you all over again.

I am thankful that I was able to care for mama and my stepfather, Gail, and what they needed in their last years of my car harder than I could've ever camera there were blanking back and one can turn on the attic hatch stronger that I am working more and I'm thankful that that you interact and now you can get carried away again and be a cat that can reach down please count Pierce County reach out and got her listening. Please, not sure you ask about the caregiver and that all the years that now Peter and Gracie for the longest time ever asked how you are Peter. It was all way how strike he has great and important that the person he doing the caregiving being thought about as well. Will that means a lot, Lisa. I really do appreciate series. I do appreciate it means a lot in its it is the journey and that's why do the show. That's why I wrote the book.

That's why do all the things that I do is designed to help the family caregiver get stronger. Lisa I appreciate you taking the time to call. I got sent out with but thank you for calling. Thank you for listening and it means a lot, you know, this is why we do what we do it if you as a caregiver are not in a good place and you're struggling and this thing is getting is going south on how exactly help your love one you got. Keep that in your mind you gotta keep that in your head. Stay right up in front of you have space.

It's not selfish it's healthy health caregivers make better caregivers. The book is called hopefully caregiver. The show was called hope cared free podcasts hope for the care it's all about helping you hang on that that you really can't get to a place of safety where you can start making healthier decisions for your life and what God hasn't forgotten he truly gets and he's going to meet you in writing and you can be stronger, healthier, and there are saying.

Hopefully caregiver for more information, see you next week stay healthy. Health caregivers my Facebook love cut out the middle of it that every time you came under static was there now right now right now anything. Every time you speak and I hear steady like a little bit better but every time you make a sale that I hear static you hear it from my computer, though I'm


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