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Giving Thanks While Living in Harsh Circumstances

Hope for the Caregiver / Peter Rosenberger
The Truth Network Radio
November 13, 2020 3:30 am

Giving Thanks While Living in Harsh Circumstances

Hope for the Caregiver / Peter Rosenberger

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November 13, 2020 3:30 am

From HOPE FOR THE CAREGIVER's Radio Broadcast 11/7/2020

Encouraging Word
Don Wilton
Love Worth Finding
Adrian Rogers
Core Christianity
Michael Horton & Adriel Sanchez
Cross the Bridge
David McGee
Encouraging Word
Don Wilton
Love Worth Finding
Adrian Rogers

Christmas gift why not want chicken have a couple of chicken maybe it's not the get for your family but it is the perfect gift for poor family ninja chicken can break the cycle of poverty for poor family yes chicken chickens and provide nourishment for family and they can sell those exit the market for income when you donate a chicken or any other gospel for Asia. 100% of what you give goes to the field and get the ball went gospel fundraiser to support family and Jesus family this Christmas, give them six explanation see chickens and camping American family radial dispute arose one chauffeured as a family caregiver for those of you who are staying up late at night, pushing the wheelchair making the meals doing the laundry back and forth to the doctors offices or rehab offices filled out paperwork, cleaning up messes I hold are you doing it at eight 589-8840 888-589-8840.

This is an exclusive show for family caregivers or something like this in the world and I'm so grateful that were here on American family radio to push this message out from the biblical viewpoint of understanding God in the midst of these things also want to give a big shout out to the folks over fillets are carrying this including the Truth Network out of North Carolina and for those you just listing this show before the show comes on. You can hear Stu Epperson and not Robert Gilmore, my dear friends over there and they are bringing powerful messages that come on right before the show airs on American family radio and then a big shout out to a.m. 1010 W PMH 96.9 Suffolk and 100.1 Norfolk over and Virginia Beach area and then we also have his radio network, South Carolina carries a lot of folks care in the show.

There's nothing quite well. There's nothing like this and we purposed that we were to speak to this vast group of people who were struggling who are in in many ways feeling like that. Nobody even knows who they are, but we do numbering about 35 years of experience to help you stay strong and healthy as a caregiver to start off with the Scripture and the trivia question all wrapped up in one.

So read the Scripture, but I want you don't. Again, this is just a little bit of disclaimer. Let the caregivers go first.

If you can number and or Bob tried not to let seminarians you jump into this thing and actually six but do you know where Paul was when he wrote this particular scripture. This passage of Scripture when he wrote this okay where was he and it's Philippians 46 through seven do not be anxious about anything but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus, that is a powerful Scripture. We've we've heard this a lot the Scripture, and do not be anxious about anything, will ultimately be the first to tell you that I don't live up to the Scripture and anybody who knows me knows me that I don't, but anybody that knows me knows that I want and and that is the standard that's that's the hard way that we're scrambling out of the jungle to try to get to so that we know that on a safer path, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your request be made known to God. And so what I'm asking is if you know where he was when he wrote it because I think that's really important to the context of that Scripture and then would you also know that you would on any color because the show but lawyers number 888-589-8840 888-589-8840 if you would listen to this show for any length of time you know that the first thing I'm going to ask you is Harry feeling because I want I will have an honest conversation about how you were doing and then I will ask for something else today, when you call in was something your thankful for was something your thankful for and I'll start off with the wheat went with here. My situation here. I just had knee surgery and I am I'm getting better but I'm feeling a little bit sore. I was out the physical therapist yesterday and they were working on me pretty hard, but the good news.

This is a sad look were to work through this you to get back to to be in right as rain, but I've been getting along on this leg for several months now and it's been pretty uncomfortable and now that they've operated on at its you it's wrapped it up a little bit but I'm on the path to recovery. And in some grateful for that. That I see a path in front of me that this is going to improve, and then the second thing I want to give something that I'm grateful for is today. We had a winter storm coming in where we live, live in Montana that winter storms love enormous necessarily grateful for water storms.

But when we see the snow and gracing.

I have a big picture window in our home here and when we see the snow. It is a a pastor friend Mike told me this a long time ago and it it it stuck with me to something the gracing I really cling to it is a it is a beautiful example of God covering up all the ugly things and you EC. This pristine beauty of wheat we live in. In the wintertime basically can be described as Narnia. We live in Narnia made it it's it looks like a postcard and when you see that you see the white cleanness of the snow and what that does and what that reminds us of is that Jesus said though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow step promissory note of even greater perfection that's coming and so we love that and we just love the beauty of it. Some people don't some people because you know it's it's difficult to get around.

I get that. But we love that some grateful for that and and I'm grateful that the knee is getting better and for those you watching on Facebook streaming if the audio is messed up on Facebook.

Just go to You know the story of triumph to figure out a better social media platform to stream the show live on video was if you see me fidgeting around its that I can't sit still very well, but I'm working on that list go really quick to get some colors: way that I know what I will hold on just second year because I will give the folks to be able: Philippians 46 through seven do not be anxious about anything that we just went through this election which is still going on and you know the whole countries, bite their nails, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

They didn't say the guys going to answer everything you asking for.

We did say the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus have peace this morning, you feel peaceful, it's limited in the midst of a great unsettled this globally, nationally, in our communities and our churches. Churches don't know quite how to function sometimes in the coven.

19 world and certainly as caregivers if you got any length of time as a caregiver. You understand clearly how unsettled you can feel Scripture.

The Scripture writer speaks to that. And where was Paul when he wrote that particular scripture right Wendy in Indiana good morning Wendy how you feeling right what you great power or caregiver out there and all it caregivers out there that are having around-the-clock care help me if I that word of encouragement and you're doing God's work and don't be afraid to ask for help. You better take care of yourself in the process of caregiving I get you caring for quite a few years ago I had a daughter that was born when and I had it caregiver in the hospital had a four-year-old at the time and now ground. He went for nine Hathaway her body out greater brain to keep her alive and I didn't even like a little angel on earth care and I'm up against the clock here. Hang on just think I will go to the break don't go anywhere we got go to break the dispute arose better. This is hopefully caregiver, hopefully will be like. Imagine appearing caring for special-needs child. Get it daily phone call from a caring person break into the isolation and checking in on that stress, mom of the stress that what kind of difference do you think that would make. Imagine going to the grocery store in peace while knowing a Sentry was on duty for your loved one at home being able to look at them on your phone talking to them at any time from anywhere, even if the power goes out. Imagine being able to safely monitor your loved one in an assisted facility even during the quarantine.

Imagine a system that guaranteed your privacy so much. It provides a $1 million guarantee these and so many more services are just one click away for you as a caregiver. I've tested this out of my home in the time is now for caregivers to rethink how we give care with 92% of people stating they want to age in their own home caregivers are facing a daunting challenge is the cobra 19 is made us reevaluate placing loved ones assisted living.

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I'm good with that. We we just were grateful that you will be a part of it will send your CD and were back with Wendy in Indiana. Wendy was born with the child with special needs that she didn't stay with us very long. Sheila live nine months is that correct Wendy in caregiving for during these 20 years there are probably not here. I work in mental health care. You don't want to redo Wendy on the show is we really push two different types of caregiving that are often overlooked because a lot of people when they think of caregiver they think of senior citizens and now one thing to show these weak stay with just second but we we push family members of alcoholics and addicts, because we look at that is a chronic impairment that that affects the family member as caregivers and also the mentally ill, and that is a that is a hard prepare every every caregiving road is hard, the mentally ill one when you have behavior issues.

And also I would throw in if you if you would allow me since you were to the field if you give me a dispensation, but I with the with those with traumatic brain injuries into that capacity, any type of behavior impairment that goes on makes it extremely difficult for family members was something to what is about what is the specific source of wisdom or thing that you learned in you as you care for folks with mental illness along the way that you would pass on to family members. I encourage you that part and on regiment medication at work tomorrow at a minimum level and overmedicated people. Only and that help mentally L person to keep their usually keep their behavior and intact and there's a lot of family L people that can live exceptionally in the community, but they need any needed support and family support in order to get that people overmedicated those with little illness. Do you feel that your experience if you see that that's because sometimes the behavior so exasperating. They'd rather just have them cut a drugged out so they're easier to manage. Right go back home that medication and brought back so that they can lower that they can't function and does cause a lot of fear in the family members with the get ready come back home. Have you seen that yet. And I mean I call frequent flyer are go out in the community for short period of time and then there back in the hospital mental illnesses like rainier are and I have family members with picture frame.

It's really hard to do three and it depends on the individual and how their attitude is toward the illness.

If you can get that person and you say get saved and they start going to church and they have that support of the church family that is a tremendous help because then they have a positive outlook on their mental illness and that really helped behavior that really help with one of the things I would like for the church to start understanding is that you know when somebody it is involved in the church with mental illness. We don't have to necessarily descend on them and try to get the spirits mental illness right off the bat.

Sometimes we can just love and care for them and understanding that no my wife has both legs amputated.

You know, every time she source of the church. We don't need a leg lengthening service you know we need to understand that it's okay to care for people we have adaptive equipment we have medicines that are helping me of treatment that is going on and was to support and encourage them and their families. You know, and those are important things because this is Wendy saying community is everything.

If you have a informed educated community, and I would love you know for people to understand more about it so that they're not you know, aghast every time they see somebody with some type of impairment.

Gracie wears her legs uncovered so she has these robotic liquid legs, but it gives an opportunity for people to understand and ask questions in an and educate people and I would love you more more education in the church about people who are living with mental illness and a Wendy, you've been a great source of just encouragement to me today to talk about this issue from a personal simply because you've done it, you've seen it touched you been around it and and I thank you for that, but you never asked what attribute questions you know much of your question. Do you know where he was when he wrote that I well then you don't get to hear the big bell rang when we get the right answer.

I'm sorry, Wendy. No, I just but but I will be I will I will end with this first with our call here today because will say it over and over. If you know what Paul was when he wrote the Scripture Philippians 4627 do not be anxious about anything but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

And that is great work for all of us party and president. You do get the big bell ring and ready to have a big bell. I don't think we have a bill you just can't imagine the bill in your mind. But that is he was imprisoned and is one pastor friend of mine told me.

He said he was imprisoned, chained up to a Roman linebacker mean he was you know it was there was not prisonlike we think of prison today and but he was and any wrote that. So if you can write that from prison, you know to us under the under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit of imagine what that could do for us in our circumstances to be able to hang onto that Scripture Wendy, thank you very much for your your thoughts and your words and your insights and thank you for the work that you do appreciate you very much. When I smell my mind that the way I went to the locker act grants without my family or an my relationship with Christ. I don't know how somebody that does not have a walk with Christ deals with family circumstances because she was born unexpectedly at carrier full-term and had no idea before Stephen Barnett. She'd been born that way and it it was a shock and a when I encourage anybody that's going to experience you lean on that Scripture that you just read will take you in and I think that it is applicable to every circumstance.

In the end.

And we as caregivers often have to look at the very tough things and and walk-throughs of things and we see things we don't we don't understand and we can't possibly understand. And we really utilize like almost if we knew the why we think that it would make us feel better, but that doesn't necessarily work either of you in my 35 years of the grace and I came to the point were like what you gonna tell us is gonna make us back, or for it and say all okay now feel better, though it is what it is and so we work in the moment of every time were doing this thing don't be anxious about anything and everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests known and and as Wendy said beautifully. She's grateful for all the caregivers are out there doing that. She's one of them she seen it.

She's lived it, and she's wanted and she works in a particularly difficult part of the caregiving world and the mental-health world and so we would all just come together around you on that, Wendy, and thank you as well for the work that you've done and appreciate the call appreciate you listen to the show already and 885-8988 40 888-589-8840. What are you grateful for today in our countries and in just a freefall. It seems like, and we are dealing with such horrific things all around us. Everybody's unsettled people are afraid people are frightened they don't know you know what we we live in one of the things about America is that there's always been a for generation generation generation. Just this certainly okay were America and now we wake up and were not sure what is America anymore and and a lot of people very unsettled about that as family caregivers. That's pretty much the way we feel every day that said you know of was that the older Stephen Wright is one of my favorite comedians and he said you know that feeling you get when you're sitting in your chair to cut leans back and you almost fall but you catch yourself so that's how feel everyday.

You know I get that is caregivers that we do, we do feel that way.

And so that's why scriptures like this that Paul wrote from prison never rewrote it from prison, be not anxious about anything well and and and please understand I don't own this by any stretch of the imagination.

I don't own this I aspire to it and I see it, and I have. I've had moments where I could hang in there with it, but you I feel it is miserably and God has this way of of keep bringing us to the same places that we for the same lesson because he really wants this. The anchor in our hearts so that we know this and and and you see throughout all the Scripture be still be still. Fear not, be still be still be still and know that I'm God, be not anxious and and as I was going through physical therapy. A buddy of mine for money here and a buddy mumble some of this was an orthopedic surgeon is up in Connecticut is very good).

I give a shout out John and give you shut out hope is listing but he said physical therapy is all about training our body did not do what it naturally wants to do training our body to not do what it naturally wants to do and we want to tighten up. We want to pull in our muscles want to start pulling in, so that we don't hurt because it hurts the punch through some of these things and that's really, where we are as believers in and where is Paula say in this letter were training our minds and our hearts or spirits to do something it doesn't want to do doesn't naturally want to do.

We want to naturally be anxious to talk about that some.

Or you could talk about to tell me what you're thankful for. Tell me what you're struggling with 888-589-8840 880-589-8840 will be right. Have you ever struggled to trust God when lousy things happen to you. I'm Gracie Rosenberger in 1983 I experienced a horrific car accident leading 80 surgeries in both legs and became I questioned why God allowed something so brutal to happen to me.

But over time the questions changed and I discovered courage to trust God that understanding along with an appreciation for quality prosthetic limbs led me to establish standing with help more than a dozen years we been working with the government of Ghana and West Africa, equipping and training local workers to build and maintain quality prosthetic limbs for their own people on a regular basis. We purchased ship equipment and supplies and with the help of inmates in a Tennessee prison. We also recycle parts from donated lambs.

All of this is to point others to Christ.

The source of my help and strength, please visit standing with to learn more and participate in lifting others that standing

I'm Gracie and I am standing without caregiving on American radio this.

This is the nation's number one show for you as a family caregiver.

And aren't you glad that there's a show that is typically based addressing this deed of so many caregivers are 65 million of us in this country we been floundering along and now all of a sudden there's a show that is exclusively for us. We can build each other up, strengthen each other up and we speak fluent caregiver here fluent caregiver. I'm in my 35th year I get the journey. 888-589-8840 or Scripture today. If you know what we worry is in the first our first half-hour somebody.

It's the trivia question, but I give you a shot if you just now coming on.

Where did Paul write Philippians 46 through seven do not be anxious about anything but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Where did Paul write that in the Scriptures important to us is as believers of any situation before caregivers we live with a level of anxiety that those of you who do this have any kind of link longevity in this know it is off the chart.

It is so difficult and I was like seven of his growth of some physical therapy yesterday. Been doing this for my knee operation is a torn meniscus in my knee and and they cleaned out some stuff and arthritis and so forth and I got a do therapy to get back in shape with an I was walking and the physical therapist was watching me walk and walk watch my walking gait and I had to really concentrate because she said I can see you anticipating it buckling.

Not it buckling anticipating it buckling in your flinching before you need to flinch because you been so is been so unsteady for you. You've been conditioned now to flinch before it actually happens.

That's what anxiety and worry is were flinching before something happens you know, you learn a lot about the heart and the spirit of the mind in your souls. When you look at things a go on with the body and that about my father's ministers always reported that the body is a is a you know is a mirror of of the heart of the way it actually responds to certain things and I'm seeking that in my mom but as I was what I was flinching before I had reason to flinch because I didn't think I could count on it and so immediately flinch. Sometimes when we don't think we can count on God to be sustaining in this. Is this something you do and is this something that you you see in yourself as you care give you immediately flinch when when your love like that. The last color we had, you would love once come home from a mental health hospital.

I can promise you the families already flinching walk around eggshells what what was upset this person off and and these are things that is caregivers we can work through.

We can build each other up and strengthen each other so that were not in a situation or work constantly flinching because what that does is it tightens us up so much that we can't function and become very painful for us to function and an obscene that now in my own life emotionally, spiritually, now physically of what happens that soap if you will be part of that you want to weigh in 888-589-8840 888-589-8848 if you missed the first part of the show give you another shot of the trivia question.

Where was Paul when he wrote that passage in Philippians 4 through six through seventh I Michael in Texas. Michael good morning how you feeling I'm going to find her. I got a Caramello.

Let me ask you will be issuing the question presented above is question today to do folks normally always as people have the feeling is caregivers because I want to have that conversation but was something that you particularly thankful for today while I'm particularly thankful for Dr. that the doctor and the doctor in the hospital at Hendrick Hospital here in Abilene, Texas. They brought me through the crowded I was very very ill almost died one not and I just cannot thank God enough for the wonderful people that are at Hendrick Hospital in Abilene, Texas. That is a great shot at me ask you question what you be willing to sit down and write them on a personal note to the hospital to the staff there and thank them absolutely sure at those things those things mean a lot. I've spent a lot of time in hospitals a lot of time and my wife had over 80 surgeries that I can count, and I know that those nurses and techs and doctors, not just the doctors with the nurses the text. Everybody's involved respiratory therapist all that to hear anybody come back and say thank you in a meaningful way means of them would you would you do that for them. Would you write them a personal for that yet. Her absolutely will. And when you write that in there. I'm asking one more request you let them know that you're praying for them. That is a great way to just encourage their spirits as well. Let them know that you're praying for Wockhardt where will I hurt my neck in that great after that you had to be opportunity now to pray for those who cared for you and that great if her absolutely no one not almost passed away. My heart started flailing and that command every 30 to 45 minute do an EKG Armenia and bloodwork you know, not that I'm afraid to die.

I'm just not related to Dr. Locke Lord has more work for me to do and I know that's why provide will yes he is sovereign over all those things left hundred meaningful to see is how he uses people to minister in those situations and these are people that you've probably never met before, but this hospital but they were there for you and in in your darkest hour and so I really do appreciate you being willing to write them a note and just thank them and and then let them know that you really are praying for them because their safety and there there will the everyone of those people have go home to somebody or something you know and and and they I bet you I bet you anything that they go home and and cry often heavy tears in the darkness because it's tough because I do that day in and day out, and so a note from you Michael that you survived this thing that you did get your moving on, but you wanted to stop and and and let them know how much you appreciate their efforts. You it's it's hard to imagine how meaningful that will be to them, but I know will be in so thank you for that Michael or your her and I love your show in our projector show like all of the Airpark program and I wish him every day I drive a scrollbar while when I'm not driving what I can put my radio on my last day of our everyday good for you and in while you drive, the school is a must. You one last thing, keep your eyes on the road and keep your hands on the wheel, but keep praying for the students live forever. Every one of the students on your bus that the Lord will descend heavy on them. That is for for that brief amount of time they are in your purview in your care and in your stewardship and I would ask that you not only just take good care of them getting back and forth but that you pray for them because the school in this country is a battlefield and in so if thank if they're going into if they get off the bus and going to school and there is a praying man who is interceding on their behalf before God, Matisse, and that's a wonderful thing. So Michael, I appreciate that I've got a run to another call, but I really do appreciate your call okay thank you for taking her yes sir. Thank you to Dixie and Virginia good morning Dixie how you feeling fine thinking I will think I don't know.

I don't know. I find time for question origin to share a great guy.

I don't know Bella start off with will start off with something you're particularly thankful for today that God has given will clothing, shelter and paint job. All right that's here that's good, that's a good starting point and know what's what's going to die asked you how you doing feeling good. Then you wanted lunch into a grievance so I don't know how to give good is is the right accurate description for how are you feeling today I have met that I got married got married first time and went on disability a year and 1/2 after we were married and I gave my everything and everything to him and we lived across the street from my parents who were entering their nine will be an I was trying to take care of them.

I did everything hot. All my husband wanted a divorce. When I am pretty sure you do for snail okay and how was it. How is his life going right now I'm not we can have for a great plan and paying half is Social Security current account payment and that I got my learning disability and I know we that you have.

You have clothing, food and shelter correct okay me. I know that you hear your heart is broken because the marriage went south, but I also know that right now you are not having to deal with this man in his dysfunction and I while I hurt with you on this because of the pain that you're going through and I and I recognize and appreciate for the amount of pain it is. I'm also grateful that you are not depleting yourself in caring for someone who obviously has a different path that he wants to choose and that you were able to be extricated from that. Are your parents still alive all. Every caravan might walk.

Let me will that's okay, but you can talk to them and you can write to them and and and videoconferencing all that kind of stuff.

I know this is a lonely place for you Dixie and I know that you your your kinda scratching your head thinking how did everything I could. Some people it are just going to be this way like your husband has adjust it's not enough. And maybe there's something wrong with him. Maybe there's a reason why he's on disability that it's affecting some of the other things in his life as well. His judgment and emotional health, or whatever.

Who knows. But the point is Dixie whatever reason you're not obligated to that and that's a good thing right now because he's obviously not in a very good place and if the porn thing for you at this point is for you to be healthy to be the healthiest person you can be emotionally, spiritually and physically. Are you working towards that and you keep working on that I got go to break you. Keep working on being healthy, Dixie.

You keep leaning on Jesus. Have you ever struggled to trust God when lousy things happen to you. I'm Gracie Rosenberger in 1983 I experienced a horrific car accident, leading to 80 surgeries in both legs and became it. I questioned why God allowed something so brittle to happen to me. But over time, my questions changed and I discovered courage to trust God that understanding along with an appreciation for quality prosthetic limbs led me to establish standing with help more than a dozen years we been working with the government of Ghana and West Africa, equipping and training local workers to build and maintain quality prosthetic limbs for their own people on a regular basis. We purchased ship equipment and supplies and with the help of inmates in Tennessee prison. We also recycle parts from donated lambs.

All of this is to point others to Christ. The source of my help and strength, please visit standing with to learn more and participate in lifting others that standing

I'm Gracie. I am staining with help John Harry Randazzo, you know, do you know that there's a pandemic going on, you know, I read a couple authorities here and there, he saw something on twitter yeah you know I when I went I went to Walmart and is that I do wear a basement cool but why Panthers appears are not required but face mask evidently are almost as well or tell me a little bit ugly with a ruddy danger… Who told Edward to Facebook. The reason I'm referencing that is because you know of our work for New Year's with prosthetic limbs, and we can't go to Ghana right now and I will take Gracie over there. We been going to to to Ghana for many many years to help work with deputies over there but we been sitting supplies and were sponsoring more patients but were not sitting pings right now because we just can't. And we've got patients that are lining up that are really needing some quality prosthetic era were contracting out with prosthetic providers there in West Africa in Ghana and there helping these patients that we really are urgently trying to treat get them up walking one of us and you know what of the crutches we have for their patients. John this week we target children and working age adults, children, students, working age adults and really in that order got shot because we want to give them a fighting chance to have a productive life with the quality prosthetic limb.

This is what Gracie envisioned after losing her own legs is not that we don't want help aging or so forth is just that that's that's work parts of it lately. A lot of these yeah in and out. We've had some luck kids.

We've had some some students that are getting close to their graduation, but they are constantly needing prostatic adjustments or a new leg a new socket. Or since Leavitt will try to ship things over were trying to sponsor things in contract with the workers there do it.

We could use the help.

So I'm asking staining with what you just take a moment to go out to standing with look at the work we do and look what we are seeing and and get involved in in that you could certainly write us and ask us any questions about it. We would love to have your help today.

We really needed today for any donation amount whatever's on your heart doesn't meant witnessing a copy of Gracie CD and and when we just want you to know that this is this is what were serious about doing we been doing this for a long time. We can go over there in person. But guess what, we could still help them get up and walk and you could be a part of that today. It's a gift that keeps on walking.

I came up with that myself to flood walking and grace, with Gracie being a AA beauty herself. When we understand that in and and I were in fact were dealing with prosthetic stuff right now with her and because she's constantly needing assessments and so forth and so we understand the need and were asking you to help with today's go to standing with today. Excellent and this is this is the foundation for what we do the show okay with.

We anchored in something that is far greater than anything we could possibly imagine all the heartache and the the sorrows. The pain just like you heard from Les Koller.

You know she she got married late in life to this man. She thought it was going to be something in it turned out it wasn't in the God you know there's always a lot of factors and things but evidently the guy is not interested in having a marriage with her and she gave the best she had to him and now he's in bad shape and take care of himself. But that's not her responsibility. That's his choice and I am a big fan of letting people make their choices and live with the consequences. I'm not here to bail people out you don't and as a caregiver.

I know I have my response was my wife. I'm in a covenant relationship with my wife, my responsibility to care for her number on the steward of this but I'm not here to take care of other people spouses or children. That's not my responsibility and I think sometimes we overextend ourselves in this particular case, whatever reason this mantis into this moment.

No I'm not going to be in relationship with you anymore and water heartbreak.

She's also not obligated to have to go would pick up the pieces of what this guys do it to his own life and their lot consequences for these things as a society we cut a recoil at that. We want to take away as many consequences for our behavior and our selfish behaviors possible.

If we don't plan ahead and we live our life without any type of medical insurance when something happens, we once the government to come screaming and pay her medical bills. If you're having sex outside of covenant of marriage and you get pregnant you know, get rid of the baby and then make the government pay for this is this is pretty much what what our society has screamed out to us all. Hey, do whatever you want and then somebody will bail you out if you take on all the student loans to go get a degree in Chinese art history, and years later you still got tons and tons of student loans and a worthless degree analysis. Get government pay for but there consequences and we all know these things in her heart and are we willing to be strong enough as individuals to allow people to enjoy the benefits of their of their decisions.

This old man older man married this woman went on disability and then they don't cheat setting and will be married and now he's like she said he's got 4 acres and he's gotta be responsible for his places had to keep that she don't have to go there moment he does and he's got a deal with the consequences thereof.

He doesn't have a spouse who can be a helper to that's his choice as painful as that is for her to lose a relationship. He said I have to bear the brunt of that thing. It's okay to allow people to indulge themselves of whatever they going to do, but I don't have to bail them out and my focus is always on the family caregiver of helping the caregiver learn what they can and cannot do.

You cannot save somebody who doesn't want to be saved. You can care for them you be a good steward to do the best you can, but ultimately they have a Savior and you're not that Savior and we can be at peace in the midst of this is what our Scripture was the Philippians 4627 do not be anxious about anything but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus, so this this caller that we just had she can pray for her ex-husband. She can bring that to God but that she receives the peace from God to know that God is able to work in that even that she doesn't have to go out and figure it all out that's that's the point for us as caregivers, we don't have to figure this thing out, but we can go to him we would we thank God we go to them with thanksgiving, we find that's what I'm asking you what you be thankful of something find something you're particularly thankful for today because if we go around just with her fists clenched and tightened up and just anticipating that it's got all fall apart.

It's going to destroy us physically and emotionally and spiritually, and and I've seen this all up so many times in my own life where I was so bitter. I was so angry I was so disheartened. But Paul wrote this scripture from prison from prison. Could you write some like that from prison I could yet he was Paul but man that we did have a hard life after he came to Christ. He had a hard life.

The visually executed but he learned that he could be at peace with God in this thing you Martin Luther wrote in that wonderful him a mighty Fortress is the body they may kill, but God's truth about is still Jesus stood before Pilate deposit like you say they don't you know have the power to kill you GC run power over me, other than what my father gives Barry call in understanding the chain of command in the chain of command is that we have a God who was sovereign over all these things I want to weapon us to salvage a lot of people say that you know God's sovereign will. You know that like the election will God's sovereign will. Yeah he is my wife, still a double amputee. He is sovereign over painful things in our hearts quell in our hearts. Trimble and that's what we have these verses because we go back and we trust that he is Lord, and if he is Lord at all that he is Lord of all, he's Lord of a husband who that you would try to care for and he divorced you and now you're lonely and don't know what happened like this caller had.

He is Lord with this other caller that a child born with the severe birth defect died nine months later 37 years ago this month. Gracie slammed that concrete about but he was Lord then this is what it means to have grown-up theology and this is what I'm trying to accomplish here on the show is that we as caregivers are not floundering around with clichés and bumper sticker theology, but we have an deep substantive understanding of the work of God that sustains us when we look at very very very painful things go to Luanne and Ohio loop Luanne how you feeling fine I had every way that might limit limit limit limit, I got stuck when I say how you feel and you would all I'm doing fine. Are you sure you doing fine. I am doing okay. I am not a pastor I'm not a pastor I'm just a caregiver that's okay Abby, I would and I witnessed I don't want to insult pastors by saying that I'm one of them. I just want to but I want to see how you're feeling.

Because you gone from oh fine, okay, what's really going on with you in a very very very thankful for our Savior Jesus cry and fading.

I am tired and an iron and the other thing I'm thankful for and for God said to love upon me every day and keep me healthy and strong.

I am over the age of 65 and looked able to complete my job and retire from it and I am so thankful for those gifts that God is given me and then to go on and say what happened in my I did meet a guy when I was 22 years of and things started out slow and then they progressed a little faster and he kept pushing me a little faster. I handed out getting pregnant, but my only regret, and he pushed me and I it with my mouth that began at that. He pushed me so hard and so fast have an abortion because we were not married yet and so I get it.

I went to New York first and found out I can go through at that but I cleaned the circumstances, I couldn't do it. Then he pushed me again and found another place in New York and I went to Buffalo and that's where the that procedure, but I the only reason I'm interrupting you that we is because with Tom, I'm sorry for that. That was how many years ago I came back. Professional school in the run at a time. The show's almost over. How many years ago was this 30 year did you marry the man I married and men are baby L .99 fighter are you still married.

We are not married Mary Mary date three Merrick so how are you doing today right now. Okay I mean I'm able to prepare myself and make up financially on the ground and I do think about him and I pray for him even know what he did for me. I do pray for. I am forgetting and will do you have you gone and you go to some like that were out of time here.

Have you gone to some level of counseling about all this time is that a yes or no. I'm really at a time just right to the guts of you going to counseling about this now.

Yes, not would you consider that is possibly something to work out through some of these things because a sales like this is real up close and personal to you. Still after 30 years I think that you would benefit greatly from that. I hate to cut this off Luanne. I really do, but were out of time the shows come to an end, but I would highly recommend you get with the good therapist to work through some these issues. This is hope for the caregiver

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