Giving Thanks While Living in Harsh Circumstances

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This is Peter Rosenberger. This is the nation's number one show for you as a family caregiver. For those of you who are staying up late at night, pushing the wheelchair, making the meals, doing the laundry, back and forth to doctor's offices or rehab offices, filling out paperwork, cleaning up messes. How are you holding up?

How are you doing? 888-589-8840, 888-589-8840. This is an exclusive show for family caregivers.

There's nothing like this in the world. And I'm so grateful that we're here on American Family Radio to push this message out from the biblical viewpoint of understanding God in the midst of these things. I also want to give a big shout out to the folks, all of our affiliates that are carrying this, including the Truth Network out of North Carolina. And for those of you who are just listening before the show comes on, you can hear Stu Epperson and Robbie Dilmore, my dear friends over there, and they are bringing powerful messages that come on right before this show airs on American Family Radio. And then a big shout out to AM 1010, WPMH, 96.9 Suffolk, and 100.1 Norfolk over in Virginia Beach area. And then we also have his radio network down in South Carolina carrying. So a lot of folks carrying the show. There's nothing quite, well, there's nothing like this. And we purpose that we were going to speak to this vast group of people who are struggling, who are in many ways feeling like that nobody even knows who they are.

But we do. And I'm bringing my 35 years of experience to help you stay strong and healthy as a caregiver. All right, we're going to start off with a scripture and a trivia question all wrapped up into one. So I'm going to read the scripture, but I want you to, again, this is just a little bit of disclaimer, let the caregivers go first if you can. I'm trying not to let seminarians, you know, jump into this thing and answer all these things. But do you know where Paul was when he wrote this particular scripture, this passage in scripture, when he wrote this?

Okay, where was he? And it's Philippians 4, 6 through 7. That is a powerful scripture. We've heard this a lot, this scripture, and do not be anxious about anything. Well, let me be the first to tell you that I don't live up to the scripture. And anybody who knows me knows me that I don't.

But anybody that knows me knows that I want to. And that is the standard. That's the highway that we're scrambling out of the jungle to try to get to so that we know that we're on a safer path. But in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your request be made known to God.

And so what I'm asking is if you know where he was when he wrote it, because I think that's really important to the context of that scripture. And then would you also, normally, you know, when any caller calls this show, and by the way, here's the number 888-589-8840. And if you've been listening to this show for any length of time, you know that the first thing I'm going to ask you is, how are you feeling? Because I want to have an honest conversation about how you are doing. And then I'm going to ask for something else today when you call in. What is something you're thankful for? What is something you're thankful for?

And I'll start off with wheat. Here in my situation here, I just had knee surgery. And I'm getting better, but I'm feeling a little bit sore. And I was down at the physical therapist yesterday, and they were working on me pretty hard. But the good news is, is they said, look, we're going to work through this. You're going to get back to being right as rain.

And I've been gimping along on this leg for several months now, and it's been pretty uncomfortable. And now that they've operated on it, it's, you know, it's ramped it up a little bit. But I'm on the path to recovery. And so I'm grateful for that, that I see a path in front of me that this is going to improve. And then the second thing, I want to give a second thing that I'm grateful for, is today we've got a winter storm coming in where we live.

We live in Montana. Now that winter storm is, a lot of people aren't necessarily grateful for winter storms. But when we see the snow, and Gracie and I have a big picture window in our home here, and when we see the snow, it is a, a pastor friend of mine told me this a long time ago, and it stuck with me, and it's something that Gracie and I really cling to. It is a beautiful example of God covering up all the ugly things. And you see this pristine beauty. We live in, in the wintertime basically can be described as Narnia.

We live in Narnia. I mean, it looks like a postcard. And when you see that, and you see the white cleanness of the snow, and what that does, and what that reminds us of is that Jesus said, Though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow. And it's that promissory note of even greater perfection that's coming. And so we love that, and we just love the beauty of it.

Some people don't, some people, because, you know, it's difficult to get around, I get that. But we love that, so I'm grateful for that. And I'm grateful that the knee is getting better. And for those of you watching on Facebook, streaming, if the audio is messed up on Facebook, just go to afr.net.

You know the story. I've got to figure out a better social media platform to stream the show live on, video-wise. But if you see me fidgeting around, it's that I can't sit still very well. But I'm working on that. Let's go really quick to, we've got some callers calling and waiting. You know what, I'm going to hold on just a second here, because I want to give enough folks to be able to call in. Philippians 4, 6 through 7. Do not be anxious about anything.

Now we just went through this election, which is still going on, and the whole country is kind of biting their nails. But in everything, by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your request be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

He didn't say that God's going to answer everything you ask Him for. But He did say the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Do you have peace this morning?

I mean, do you feel peaceful? We're living in the midst of a great unsettledness globally, nationally, in our communities, in our churches. Churches don't know quite how to function sometimes in the COVID-19 world. And certainly as caregivers, if you've got any length of time as a caregiver, you understand clearly how unsettled you can feel. This scripture right here speaks to that.

And where was Paul when he wrote that particular scripture? All right, Wendy in Indiana. Good morning, Wendy. How are you feeling?

I'm doing good. All right, what are you grateful for? I'm grateful for all the caregivers out there. I've been in caregiving for 20 years, and all the caregivers out there that are committed and having around-the-clock care, don't be afraid. The word of encouragement is just you're doing God's work, and don't be afraid to ask for help. You've got to take care of yourself in the process of caregiving.

I get that. Now, who are you caring for? Back in, it was quite a few years ago, I had a daughter that was born with a small head. And I had to take care of her. She was in and out of the hospital. I also had a four-year-old at the time, and he's now grown, but she lived for nine months and passed away.

Her body, her brain's capacity to keep her alive. And I just, she was like a little angel on earth while she was here. And that started my journey. I'm up against the clock here. Hang on. Just hang on. We're going to go to the break. Don't go anywhere. We've got to go to a break, though.

But this is Peter Rosenberger. This is Hope for the Caregiver. Hopeforthecaregiver.com.

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This is Peter Rosberger. This is the show for you as a family caregiver. We are so grateful that you are here. That is Gracie, my wife, singing from her new CD Resilient. If you like the show, if this show means something to you, if you're finding value in what you're doing, go out to Hopeforthecaregiver.com, click on the donate button, be a part of the show, support what we're doing, I'll send you a copy for Gracie's CD. Whatever amount you've got on your mind, whatever you've got to do to help us get this show out, I'm good with that.

We're just grateful that you want to be a part of it. We'll send you her CD. We're back with Wendy in Indiana. Wendy was born with a child with special needs that she didn't stay with us very long. She only lived nine months. Is that correct, Wendy?

Correct. That started me on a journey of 20 years of caregiving. Who have you been caregiving for during these 20 years?

I've worked in home care for probably about eight of those years and I've also worked in inpatient mental health care for the last 10 years. You know, one of the things that we do, Wendy, on this show is we really push two different types of caregiving that are often overlooked because a lot of people, when they think of caregiving, they think of senior citizens. And one of the things we do on this show is we push family members of alcoholics and addicts because we look at that as a chronic impairment that affects the family member as caregivers. And then also the mentally ill. And that is a hard, every caregiving road is hard.

The mentally ill one, when you have behavior issues, and also I would throw in, if you would allow me since you worked in that field, maybe you can give me a dispensation, but I would throw in those with traumatic brain injuries into that capacity. Any type of behavior impairment that goes on makes it extremely difficult for family members. What is a specific source of wisdom or thing that you learned as you cared for folks with mental illness along the way that you would pass on to family members? I would encourage them to keep that person on a regiment of medication that works for them, but at a minimum level because you can overmedicate people very easily. And that helps that mentally ill person to keep their, usually keep their behaviors in check.

And there's a lot of mentally ill people that can live successfully in the community, but they need lots of community support and family support in order to do that. You know, when people overmedicate those with mental illness, do you feel that, in your experience, have you seen that that's because sometimes the behavior is so exasperating they'd rather just have them kind of drugged out so they're easier to manage? In an inpatient setting, yes. And in an inpatient setting, yes. Usually when they're ready to go back home, the medication is brought back so that they can, you know, lowered so that they can function. Does that cause a lot of fear in the family members when they're getting ready to come back home? Have you seen that?

Yes. And I've seen, I call frequent fliers, go out in the community for a short period of time and then they're back in the hospital. Because some mental illnesses like schizophrenia, and I have family members with schizophrenia, it's really hard to treat. And it depends on the individual and how their attitude is toward the illness. If you can get the person to, say, get saved, and they start going to church, and they have that support of the church family, that is a tremendous help.

Because then they have a positive outlook on their mental illness and that really helps behavior, that really helps. Well, one of the things I would like for the church to start understanding is that, you know, when somebody is involved in the church with mental illness, we don't have to necessarily descend on them and try to rebuke the spirits of mental illness. Right off the bat, sometimes we can just love and care for them and understanding that, you know, my wife has both legs amputated.

You know, every time she shows up to church, we don't need a leg lengthening service. You know, we need to understand that it's okay to care for people. We have adaptive equipment, we have medicines that are helping, we have treatment that is going on, and we support and encourage them and their families. You know, and those are important things because, as Wendy is saying, community is everything. If you have an informed, educated community, and I would love, you know, for people to understand more about it so that they're not, you know, aghast every time they see somebody with some type of impairment. Gracie wears her legs uncovered, so she has these robotic-looking legs, but it gives an opportunity for people to understand and ask questions and educate people, and I would love, you know, more and more education in the church about people who are living with mental illness. And Wendy, you've been a great source of just encouragement to me today to talk about this issue from a personal standpoint because you've done it, you've seen it, you've touched it, you've been around it.

And I thank you for that. By the way, you never answered my trivia question. Did you know my trivia question? Do you know where he was when he wrote that? No, I didn't hear the trivia question. Well, then you don't get to hear the big bell ring when you get the right answer. I'm sorry, Wendy. No, I'm just kidding. But I will end with this verse with our call here today because I'm going to say it over and over.

If you know where Paul was when he wrote this scripture, Philippians 4, 6-7, and that is a great word for all of us. Pardon me? Wasn't he in prison? You do get the big bell ringing. Randy, do we have a big bell? I don't think we have a bell.

You just have to imagine the bell in your mind. But that is, he was in prison, and as one pastor friend of mine told me, he said he was in prison chained up to a Roman linebacker. I mean, it was not prison like we think of prison today, but he was. And he wrote that, and so if he can write that from prison to us under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, imagine what that can do for us in our circumstances to be able to hang on to that scripture. Wendy, thank you very much for your thoughts and your words and your insights, and thank you for the work that you do. Appreciate you very much.

I'll just say one more thing. When I had my baby that passed away, I wouldn't have been able to walk through that experience without my family support and my relationship with Christ. I don't know how somebody that doesn't have a walk with Christ deals with family circumstances, because she was born unexpectedly, I carried her full term, and I had no idea before she was born that she'd be born that way. And it was a shock, and I just want to encourage anybody that's going through an experience to lean on that scripture that you just read. Well, thank you, and I think that it is applicable to every circumstance, and we as caregivers often have to look at very, very tough things and walk through tough things, and we see things that we don't understand and we can't possibly understand.

It's like almost if we knew the why, we think that it would make us feel better, but that doesn't necessarily work either. In my 35 years, I think Gracie and I came to the point where we're like, what's he going to tell us that's going to make us smack our forehead and say, oh, okay, now I feel better? It is what it is, and so we work in the moment of every time we're doing this thing, don't be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your request known, and as Wendy said beautifully, she's grateful for all the caregivers that are out there doing it. She's one of them. She's seen it, she's lived it, and she's watched it, and she works in a particularly difficult part of the caregiving world in the mental health world, and so we would all just come together around you on that, Wendy, and thank you as well for the work that you've done, and I appreciate the call and I appreciate you listening to the show. Yep, thank you.

Alrighty. 888-589-8840, 888-589-8840, what are you grateful for today? You know, our country's in just a free fall, it seems like, and we are dealing with such horrific things all the way around us. Everybody's unsettled. People are afraid. People are frightened.

They don't know, you know, we live in, one of the things about America is that there's always been a, for generation to generation to generation, just this certainty, okay, we're America, and now we wake up and we're not sure what is America anymore, and a lot of people are very unsettled about that. As family caregivers, that's pretty much the way we feel every day. Stephen Wright is one of my favorite comedians, and he said, you know that feeling you get when you're sitting in your chair and it kind of leans back and you almost fall but you catch yourself?

He said, that's how I feel every day, you know, and so I get that as caregivers that we do, we do feel that way, and so that's why scriptures like this that Paul wrote from prison, you gotta remember, he wrote it from prison. Be not anxious about anything. Well, and please understand, I don't own this by any stretch of the imagination.

I don't own this. I aspire to it, and I see it, and I've had moments where I could hang in there with it, but I fail at this miserably. And God has this way of bringing us to these same places for this same lesson because he really wants this to anchor in our hearts so that we know this. And you see throughout all of scripture, be still, be still, fear not, be still, be still, be still, and know that I am God.

Be not anxious. And as I was going through physical therapy, a buddy of mine for my knee here, and a buddy of mine was telling me this, he was an orthopedic surgeon, he's up in Connecticut, he's a very close friend. I'll give him a shout out. John, I'm giving you a shout out.

Hope he's listening. But he said physical therapy is all about training our body to not do what it naturally wants to do. Training our body to not do what it naturally wants to do. And we want to tighten up. We want to pull in.

Our muscles want to start pulling in so that we don't hurt because it hurts to punch through some of these things. And that's really kind of where we are as believers. And as Paul is saying in this letter, we're training our minds and our hearts and our spirits to do something it doesn't want to do, what it doesn't naturally want to do.

We want to naturally be anxious. We're going to talk about that some more. You can talk about it too. Tell me what you're thankful for. Tell me what you're struggling with. 888-589-8840.

888-589-8840. We'll be right back. Have you ever struggled to trust God when lousy things happen to you? I have. I'm Gracie Rosenberger. And in 1983, I experienced a horrific car accident leading to 80 surgeries and both legs amputated. I questioned why God allowed something so brutal to happen to me.

But over time, my questions changed and I discovered courage to trust God. That understanding, along with an appreciation for quality prosthetic limbs, led me to establish Standing with Hope. For more than a dozen years, we've been working with the government of Ghana and West Africa, equipping and training local workers to build and maintain quality prosthetic limbs for their own people. On a regular basis, we purchase and ship equipment and supplies.

And with the help of inmates in a Tennessee prison, we also recycle parts from donated limbs. All of this is to point others to Christ, the source of my hope and strength. Please visit standingwithhope.com to learn more and participate in lifting others up. That's standingwithhope.com. I'm Gracie, and I am standing with hope. Welcome back to Hope for the Caregiver here on American Family Radio.

This is Peter Rosenberger. This is the nation's number one show for you as a family caregiver. And aren't you glad that there's a show that is biblically based addressing this need of so many caregivers. There's 65 million of us in this country. And we've been floundering along and now all of a sudden there's a show that is exclusively for us, where we can build each other up, strengthen each other up, and we speak fluent caregiver here. Fluent caregiver. I'm in my 35th year, I get the journey.

888-589-8840. Our scripture today, if you know, we already did in the first hour, first half hour, somebody answered the trivia question, but I'll give you a shot if you're just now coming on. Where did Paul write Philippians 4, 6-7, Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your request be made known to God, and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Where did Paul write that? And this scripture is important to us as believers on any situation, but for caregivers, we live with a level of anxiety that those of you who do this have any kind of longevity in this, no, it is off the chart. It is so difficult. And I was, like I said, I was going through some physical therapy yesterday. I've been doing this for my knee operation.

I had a torn meniscus in my knee, and they cleaned out some stuff and arthritis and so forth, and now I've got to do the therapy to get back in shape with it. And I was walking, and the physical therapist was watching me walk and watching my walking gait, and I had to really concentrate because she said, I can see you anticipating it buckling. Not it buckling, anticipating it buckling, and you're flinching before you need to flinch because you've been so, it's been so unsteady for you. You've been conditioned now to flinch before it actually happens.

That's what anxiety and worry is. We're flinching before something happens. You know, you learn a lot about the heart and the spirit and the mind and our souls when you look at things that go on with the body. And my father's ministry has always reported that the body is a mirror of the heart, of the way it acts, the way it responds to certain things. And I'm seeing that in my own body as I was doing. I was flinching before I had reason to flinch because I didn't think I could count on it. And so we immediately flinch sometimes when we don't think we can count on God to be sustaining in this.

Is this something you do? And is this something that you see in yourself as you care give? You immediately flinch when your love, like the last caller we had, you know, when loved ones come home from a mental health hospital, I can promise you the family is already flinching. They're walking around on eggshells.

What's going to set this person off? And these are things that as caregivers we can work through, we can build each other up and strengthen each other so that we're not in a situation where we're constantly flinching. Because what that does is it tightens us up so much that we can't function and it becomes very painful for us to function.

And I've seen that now in my own life emotionally, spiritually, and now physically of what happens to that. So if you want to be a part of that, if you want to weigh in, 888-589-8840, 888-589-8840. And if you missed the first part of the show, I'll give you another shot at the trivia question.

Where was Paul when he wrote that passage in Philippians 4 through 6 through 7? Alright, Michael in Texas. Michael, good morning. How are you feeling? I'm feeling fine, sir. I'm not a caregiver today. Let me ask you one more question because I added a bonus question today to folks.

Normally I always ask people how they're feeling as caregivers because I want to have that conversation. But what's something that you're particularly thankful for today? Well, I'm particularly thankful for the nurses at the doctors and the doctors in the hospital at Hendricks Hospital here in Abilene, Texas. They brought me through the COVID. I was very, very ill.

I almost died one night. And I just cannot thank God enough for the wonderful people that are at Hendricks Hospital in Abilene, Texas. That is a great shout out. Let me ask you a question. Would you be willing to sit down and write them a personal note to that hospital and to the staff there and thank them?

Absolutely, sir. Those things mean a lot. I've spent a lot of time in hospitals.

A lot of time. I mean, my wife's had over 80 surgeries that I can count. And I know that those nurses and techs and doctors, not just the doctors, but the nurses, the techs, everybody's involved.

Respiratory therapists, all that. To hear anybody come back and say thank you in a meaningful way means something to them. Would you do that for them? Would you write them a personal note for that? Yes, sir. Absolutely, I will.

And when you write that in there, I'm asking you one more request here. Let them know that you're praying for them. That is a great way to just encourage their spirits as well. Let them know that you're praying for them. Well, I certainly will.

I certainly will. Isn't that a great opportunity now to pray for those who cared for you? Isn't that great? Yes, sir.

Absolutely. You know, one night I almost passed away. My heart started failing.

And they come in every 30 to 45 minutes doing the EKG on me and blood work. You know, and not that I'm afraid to die, I'm just not ready to die. I feel like the Lord has more work for me to do and I know that's why I survived.

Well, yes, He is sovereign over all those things. What I find very meaningful to see is how He uses people to minister in those situations. And these are people that you've probably never met before at this hospital. Absolutely. But they were there for you in your darkest hour. And so I really do appreciate you being willing to write them a note and just thank them. And then let them know that you really are praying for them because their safety and their will. Every one of those people can go home to somebody or something, you know?

Absolutely. And I bet you anything that they go home and cry often heavy tears in the darkness because it's tough because they do that day in and day out. And so a note from you, Michael, that you survived this thing, that you're moving on, but you wanted to stop and let them know how much you appreciate their efforts.

It's hard to imagine how meaningful that will be to them, but I know it will be. And so thank you for that, Michael. Well, yes, sir. And I love your show and I appreciate your show. And like all of the AFR programs, I listen every day. I drive a school bus and when I'm not driving, when I can put my radio on, I listen to AFR every day.

Good for you. And while you're driving the school bus, I'm going to ask you one last thing. Keep your eyes on the road, keep your hands on the wheel, but keep praying for those students. Pray for every one of those students on your bus that the Lord will descend heavy on them. That is, for that brief amount of time, they are in your purview and your care and in your stewardship. And I would ask that you not only just take good care of them getting back and forth, but that you pray for them because school in this country is a battlefield.

And so if they get off that bus and go into school and there is a praying man who is interceding on their behalf before God, let me tell you something, that's a wonderful thing. So Michael, I appreciate that. I've got to run to another call, but I really do appreciate your call.

Okay? Well, thank you for taking it, sir. And have a blessed day. Thank you. You too. Dixie in Virginia. Good morning, Dixie.

How are you feeling? Fine. Thank you.

I appreciate your radio program. Well, thank you. I don't know if I'm calling for a question or just to share a grievance.

I don't know. Well, let's start off with something you're particularly thankful for today. That God has given me clothing, shelter, and peace in the job. All right.

That's a good starting point. And now, I asked you how you're feeling good, and then you wanted to launch into a grievance. So I don't know how good is the right, accurate description for how are you feeling today?

How am I feeling today? I have the sadness that I got married. I'm 60. I got married at 50 for the first time. I knew the man for years. And he went on disability a year and a half after we were married. And I gave my everything, everything to him. And we lived across the street from my parents who were entering their 90s. And I was trying to take care of them.

I did everything possible. And my husband still wanted a divorce when I did everything. So are you divorced now? Yes.

Okay. And how is his life going right now? I'm sure it's not great because he has four acreage of land. And he has to pay half his Social Security for his house payment.

But I got no money because he's on disability. And I don't know. But you have clothing, food, and shelter, correct?

Yes. And that's what God has given me. I know that your heart is broken because the marriage went south. But I also know that right now you are not having to deal with this man and his dysfunction.

And while I hurt with you on this because of the pain that you're going through, and I recognize it and I appreciate the amount of pain it is, I'm also grateful that you are not depleting yourself in caring for someone who obviously has a different path that he wants to choose. And that you are able to be extricated from that. Are your parents still alive?

Oh, praise God, yes. They're in another state. But because of COVID, my sister won't let me see them. Well, that's okay because you can talk to them and you can write to them and video conference and all that kind of stuff. I know this is a lonely place for you, Dixie. And I know that you're kind of scratching your head thinking, wow, I did everything I could. Some people are just going to be this way like your husband is and just it's not enough. And maybe there's something wrong with him. Maybe there's a reason why he's on disability that it's affecting some of the other things in his life as well. His judgment and emotional health or whatever.

Who knows? But the point is, Dixie, for whatever reason, you're not obligated to that. And that's a good thing right now because he's obviously not in a very good place. And the important thing for you at this point is for you to be healthy, to be the healthiest person you can be emotionally, spiritually and physically. Are you working towards that?

Absolutely. Then you keep working on that. I've got to go to a break. You keep working on being healthy, Dixie. You keep leaning on Jesus. Have you ever struggled to trust God when lousy things happen to you?

I'm Gracie Rosenberger. And in 1983, I experienced a horrific car accident leading to 80 surgeries and both legs amputated. I questioned why God allowed something so brutal to happen to me.

But over time, my questions changed and I discovered courage to trust God. That understanding, along with an appreciation for quality prosthetic limbs, led me to establish Standing with Hope. For more than a dozen years, we've been working with the government of Ghana and West Africa, equipping and training local workers to build and maintain quality prosthetic limbs for their own people. On a regular basis, we purchase and ship equipment and supplies.

And with the help of inmates in a Tennessee prison, we also recycle parts from donated limbs. All of this is to point others to Christ, the source of my hope and strength. Please visit standingwithhope.com to learn more and participate in lifting others up.

That's standingwithhope.com. I'm Gracie, and I am standing with hope. John. Hey, how's it going?

How you doing, John? Hey, do you know, do you know that there's a pandemic going on? You know, I read a couple of stories here and there.

You saw something on Twitter. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I went, I went into, I went into Wal-Mart and they said I had to wear a face mask. I'm like, cool, but why? Hey, pants are not required, but face masks evidently are in Wal-Mart. I just thought they were telling me I was a little bit ugly. Like Rodney Dangerfield says, they told me I had to wear two face masks. But it's the reason I'm referencing that is because you know of our work for many years with prosthetic limbs and we can't go to Ghana right now.

And I certainly am not going to take Gracie over there. We've been going to, to, to Ghana for many, many years to help work with amputees over there. And we've been sending supplies and we're sponsoring more patients, but we're not sending teams right now because we just can't. And we've got patients that are lining up that are really needing some quality prosthetic care and we're contracting out with prosthetic providers. They're in West Africa, in Ghana, and they're helping these patients that we really are urgently trying to treat. And you know, one of the criteria we have with our patients, John, is we target children and working age adults, children, students, and working age adults.

And really in that order. Gotcha. Because we want to give them a fighting chance to have a productive life with a quality prosthetic limb.

This is what Gracie envisioned after losing her own legs. And it's not that we don't want to help aging or so forth, it's just that that's where our targets are. And lately we've been having a lot of these. Prioritize.

Yeah. And we've had a lot of kids. We've had some students that are getting close to their graduation, but they're constantly needing prosthetic adjustments or a new leg, a new socket, new liners and sleeve. And we're trying to ship things over. We're trying to sponsor things and contract with the workers there to do it. And we could use the help. So I'm asking standingwithhope.com. Would you just take a moment to go out to standingwithhope.com. Look at the work we're doing.

Look what you're seeing and get involved. And you could certainly write us and ask us any questions about it. But we would love to have your help today. We really need it today for any donation amount. Whatever's on your heart.

Doesn't matter. We're going to send you a copy of Gracie's CD. And we just want you to know that this is what we're serious about doing. We've been doing this for a long time. We can't go over there in person, but guess what?

We could still help them get up and walk. And you could be a part of that today. It's a gift that keeps on walking. I came up with that myself, John.

Oh yeah, did you? Pretty proud of that. The gift that keeps on walking. I like it.

But it does. And with Gracie being a double amputee herself, we understand that in our world. In fact, we're dealing with prosthetic stuff right now with her.

Because she's constantly needing adjustments and so forth. And so we understand the need and we're asking you to help with it today. So go to standingwithhope.com today. Thanks so much.

Thank you so much. And she's hanging on to that promise. This is the foundation for why we do the show.

We are anchored in something that is far greater than anything we could possibly imagine. All the heartache and the sorrows and the pain, just like you heard from the last caller. She got married late in life to this man. She thought it was going to be something and it turned out it wasn't. And the guy, you know, there's always a lot of factors and things, but evidently the guy was not interested in having a marriage with her. And she gave the best she had to him.

And now he's in bad shape and going to take care of himself. But that's not her responsibility. That's his choice. And I'm a big fan of letting people make their choices and live with the consequences.

I'm not here to bail people out. You know, and as a caregiver, I, you know, I have my responsibility as my wife. I'm in a covenant relationship with my wife. It's my responsibility to care for her. I'm a steward of this. But I'm not here to take care of other people's spouses or children. That's not my responsibility. And I think sometimes we overextend ourselves in this particular case.

For whatever reason, this man has said to this woman, no, I'm not I'm not going to be in a relationship with you anymore. And while her heart breaks, she's also not obligated to have to go and pick up the pieces of what this guy is doing to his own life. And there are a lot of consequences for these things. As a society, we kind of recoil at that. We want to take away as many consequences for our behavior and our selfish behavior as possible.

If we don't plan ahead and we live our life without any type of medical insurance, when something happens, we want the government to come screaming and pay our medical bills. If you're having sex outside of the covenant of marriage and you get pregnant, you know, get rid of the baby and then make the government pay for it. This is this is pretty much what what our society has screamed out to us all. Hey, do whatever you want and then somebody will bail you out.

If you take on all these student loans to go get a degree in Chinese art history and years later, you still got tons and tons of student loans in a worthless degree. Well, let's just get the government pay for it. But there are consequences and we all know these things in our heart.

And are we willing to be strong enough as individuals to allow people to enjoy the benefits of their of their decisions? This old man, older man, married this woman, went on disability, and then they said he doesn't want to be married. And now he's like she said, he's got four acres and he's got to be responsible for his place. He's got to keep it. She doesn't have to go over there and mow it.

He does. And he's got to deal with the consequences thereof. He doesn't have a spouse who can be a helper to her. That's his choice. As painful as that is for her to lose a relationship.

He's going to have to bear the brunt of that thing. And it's OK to allow people to indulge themselves in whatever they're going to do. But I don't have to bail them out. And my focus is always on the family caregiver of helping the caregiver learn what they can and cannot do.

You cannot save somebody who doesn't want to be saved. You can care for them. You be a good steward.

You do the best you can. But ultimately, they have a savior and you're not that savior. And we can be at peace in the midst of this.

This is what our scripture was, say, Philippians four, six through seven. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your request be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. So this this caller that we just had, she can pray for her ex-husband. She can bring that to God. But then she receives the peace from God to know that God is able to work in that, even that.

But she doesn't have to go out and figure it all out. That's that's the point for us as caregivers. We don't have to figure this thing out, but we can go to him. We thank God. We go to him with thanksgiving and we find that's what I'm asking you. I want you to be thankful of something, find something you're particularly thankful for today. Because if we go around just with our fists clenched and tightened up and just anticipating that it's going to all fall apart.

It's going to destroy us physically and emotionally and spiritually. And I've seen this so many times in my own life where I was so bitter, I was so angry, I was so disheartened. But Paul wrote this scripture from prison. From prison. Could you write something like that from prison?

I couldn't. Yeah, he was Paul, but man, he had a hard life after he came to Christ, he had a hard life beaten and eventually executed. But he learned that he could be at peace with God in this thing. You know, Martin Luther wrote in that wonderful hymn, A Mighty Fortress, he said, The body they may kill, but God's truth abideth still. Jesus stood before Pilate, and Pilate said, Why didn't you say anything? Don't you know I have the power to kill you? Jesus said, You don't have the power over me, other than what my Father gives you.

Very calm and understanding the chain of command. And the chain of command is that we have a God who is sovereign over all these things. I don't want to weaponize this sovereignty. A lot of people say that, you know, God's sovereign.

Well, you know, like the election. Well, God's sovereign. Well, yeah, he is.

And my wife's still a double amputee. He is sovereign over painful things. And our hearts quell and our hearts tremble. And that's why we have these verses, because we go back and we trust that he is Lord. And if he's Lord at all, that he is Lord of all.

He's Lord of a husband that you have tried to care for, and he divorced you, and now you're lonely and don't know what happened. Like this caller had. He is Lord with this other caller. Had a child born with a severe birth defect who died nine months later. Thirty seven years ago this month, Gracie slammed into that concrete abutment.

He was Lord then. This is what it means to have grown up theology. And this is what I'm trying to accomplish here on this show is that we as caregivers are not floundering around with cliches in bumper sticker theology.

But we have a deep, substantive understanding of the work of God that sustains us when we look at very, very, very painful things. Let's go to Luanne in Ohio. Luanne, how are you feeling? Oh, I'm doing fine. I bless, I thank God every day.

Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, Luanne, I've got to stop you. When I say, how are you feeling, you went, oh, I'm doing fine. Are you sure you're doing fine? I'm doing okay, pastor.

Yes, I am. Well, I'm not a pastor. I'm not a pastor. I'm just a caregiver. Oh, I'm sorry. That's okay.

I mean, I wouldn't, I wouldn't, I don't want to insult pastors by saying that I'm one of them. I just want to, but I want to see how you're feeling because you've gone from, oh, fine, okay. What's really going on with you, Luanne?

Okay, what's going on with me? First of all, I want to say I'm very, very, very thankful for our Savior, Jesus Christ, who is saving us from our sins and our iniquities. And the other thing I'm thankful for is that God sheds His love upon me every day and keeps me healthy and strong.

I am over the age of 65 and was able to complete my job and retire from it, and I am so thankful for those gifts that God has given me. And then to go on and say what happened was I did meet a guy when I was 22 years old, and things started out slow, and then they progressed a little faster, and he kept pushing me a little faster. I ended up getting pregnant, but my only regret is he pushed me, and actually it was myself that did it, but he pushed me so hard and so fast to have an abortion because we were not married yet. And so I did it finally. I went to New York first and found out I couldn't go through with it, and I'd seen the circumstances. I couldn't do it. So then he pushed me again and found another place in Buffalo, New York.

And so I went to Buffalo, and that's where the procedure was completed. The only reason I'm interrupting you, Luanne, is because we're going to run out of time, and I'm sorry for that. That was how many years ago?

I do want to say that he went through professional school. Wait a minute, wait a minute. Luanne, we're going to run out of time.

The show is almost over. How many years ago was this? It's been 30 years ago. Did you marry the man? I married him, and then our baby was stillborn, nine months later. Are you still married? No, we are not married, and he's not remarried either.

Neither one of us remarried. So how are you doing today, right now? I'm doing okay.

I mean, I'm able to take care of myself and keep myself financially on the ground. And I do think about him, and I pray for him, even though what he did for me, I do pray for him. I am forgiving, and he is forgiven. Like I said, we're out of time here. Have you gone to some level of counseling about all this? It's just that... Is that a yes or no?

I'm really out of time, just right to the guts. Have you gone to counseling about this? Oh, have I gone to counseling?

No, I have not. Would you consider that as possibly something to work out through some of these things? Because it sounds like this is real up close and personal to you still after 30 years. And I think that you would benefit greatly from that. I hate to cut this off, Luann. I really do. But we're out of time. The show's come to an end. But I would highly recommend you get with a good therapist to work through some of these issues. This is hope for the caregiver.