Welcome to Hope for the Caregiver here on American Family Radio. This is Peter Rosenberger and I will be your host today through all things caregiver related. I've been a caregiver so long that the hospital Wi-Fi connects automatically. You know, you've been a caregiver a long time when you call 911 and they say, hey, Peter, that's. That's my life.
I've been a caregiver so long, my idea of vacation is waiting in the car during surgery. And even Siri whispers to me, Bless your heart. We are still. in Denver, in the hospital. And Gracie now has to go back into surgery on Monday or Tuesday.
This left leg just does not want to heal up. This will be her 93rd. And her Six. during this particular 10-week stretch we pulled.
So yeah, I know a little bit about the journey. And I've learned a few things. I'm going to give you some practical things right now, okay? Just some practical things. We're going to get into some heavy stuff later on in the program, but I got some practical things.
One of them is when you're in an elevator. Couple of couple of points in the elevator. Uh for elevator etiquette. And it's not what you think. But it it's I I always Let ladies exit and enter the elevator before me.
I hold the door and make sure they go in properly. I told one guy there was a bunch of them. This guy tried to go in. I said, No, you wait for me. I was raised in the South.
I'll help the ladies, but I'm not going to help you. You're a grown man. I actually told him that on the elevator. I mean, I've spent a lot of time at a hospital.
So these are things I observe. But a lot of people will line up in front of the elevator. On the bottom floor.
Now why is that problematic?
Well, I'll tell you why. Because there are people going to be getting off that elevator, and they can't get off if there's some Yahoo standing right in front of them. And I'm like, Has it not occurred to you maybe to wait over to the side? Another thing is Don't be on speakerphone and having a conversation while on the elevator. I understand being on the phone.
I'm often on Bluetooth giving updates and so forth. But when I get on the elevator, I will tell whoever I'm talking to. I'm getting ready to get on the elevator. You keep talking, and I'll listen. I got a buddy of mine I was talking to back in Montana, and I said, All right, I'm getting on the elevator.
You talk, I'll listen.
So he started asking me questions. And I'm like, you didn't understand the point. The point is, I'm getting on the elevator. I'm not going to talk. You talk, I'll listen.
Well, what do you want me to talk about? Oh, for heaven's sakes. And so I just kind of, you know, but that's another thing. People get on the elevator, they got the speakerphone going. And I'm like...
I I jump into the conversation sometimes. You know, I figured it's there. It's a public conversation now. And then here's something else. And I'm not faulting you for this.
But be aware. of a few things. Be aware of a few things when you're walking into a hospital, into a corridor. Number one is if you're going around corners, Drive in the right lane.
Okay? Driving the right lane. We're not in Great Britain, we're in America, driving the right lane.
So hug the wall on your right side.
So when you go around a corner, You're not. Doing like in NASCAR, when you're getting way down low there, you got to go up a little high and come around because there's somebody else coming around that corner and they're driving in their right lane. I have been involved in many near collisions because people were hugging the the left corner.
Now that may sound stupid to you, but you spend ten weeks in a hospital and then you come back and tell me what you think.
Okay? And this ain't my first 10 weeks in the hospital with Gracie.
So these are things I observe that people are just, this is a very big hospital, a lot of people, and everybody's busy, and I understand that. Here's another little tidbit: situational awareness is everything. Be aware of how you are in space and in time. as you're moving in and out of this labyrinth of a place there where a lot of people are People are very busy. This is again a teaching hospital, so it's very busy.
It's always going 24-7. And you have to be aware of where you are in space and in time. Not just, you know. Ambling along. I was on the elevator with two women, and they were older women, but not that old.
Well, now that I think about it, they're probably younger than me, which that's just kind of sad. They looked older, but I realized they're probably younger than me.
Okay, well, all right, let me just go and cry over that one in the pantry. But... Regardless, they were on the elevator, and one of em had a walker And they were very nicely dressed. They were very pleasant ladies. And I held the door, did it and they started walking.
Well, I was in a bit of a hurry. And these two women one of em was rather large. I mean, she wasn't gargantuan, but she she big woman. And the other one was a a bit hefty as well. And they she had a walker, but uh a little um not a walker, but one of those things with wheels on it.
You know what I'm talking about. And she would sit down in the elevator and then get up and start moving it. That's fine. I'm I live with somebody with mobility impairments. I understand it.
But I am always aware of Gracie and me. in time and space. Always, when I'm walking anywhere with her, I'm aware of who's behind me, who's in front of me, who's to my left, who's the right. I'm always aware of things like that. That's just the way I'm kind of wired.
Some of it's my martial arts training: check your six, always look around, head on a swivel. I get that.
Some of it's just. Gobbin courtesy, and some of it is just, I just don't want somebody to run into me or me run into someone else. And these two women were ambling along for a little afternoon stroll. But they took up the entire corridor. You couldn't get around them.
There was it was just not a space where I could and and and they they walked wide and they were wide. And and it wasn't just because of The one with the m Mobility device, it was just because they were big and clueless, and they went along at their stroll, and I had to go at their pace behind them. And I was in a bit of a hurry. I was like. You know, do you have to take up the entire hallway?
You know, because there's always little carts or something on the side of the thing, and you can't easily pass in certain places. And, you know, crash carts and things such as that scattered around the corridor there.
So it was like, and you say, you know, Peter, you're being petty.
Well, yes, I am, but I've been here for 10 weeks and I'm just. Just, you know. Move it people, you know, I feel like that's what I'm talking about and move a mind hit him up for a hide Cut him up, light him in, light him in. Thank you for that. That's what it feels like.
I'm telling you, that's what it feels like. Move it, people. You know, but. There's nothing like being in a hospital for a lengthy period of time to. force you into a different kind of I don't know.
But I never ceased to be amazed on how. people amble and stroll and mosey. You know, in a place where there's a high traffic area, and it's a bit jarring because I'm moving quickly, and I'm not just sitting there with Gracie all day long doing nothing. I mean, I and just, oh, I think I'll stretch my legs and go down to the cafeteria. I'm working.
I have to work all the time. I mean, I don't have to work all the time, but I have to work. I can't. Put my life on hold for 10 weeks. And I've written, by the way, I've written quite a bit here: 40,000-plus words since I've been here.
Five published articles, and I finished a new book that's going to be out next year. Got one coming out this summer, and we'll talk about that. And then I've got a new book that'll be out next year that I think you're going to really like. But I've been working, and then I've gotten shipments over to Africa and so forth. I mean, I work.
And then I'm looking after her. I'm back and forth to the hospital frequently. I come to do this radio program. I do a live show on Wednesdays. And that's one of the reasons I was in a hurry that day, because I had to get back over to the hotel across the street where I do a live show on Wednesday afternoons.
And so I was, you know, wanting these women to move a little faster or at least move over, you know, just. Same thing as being on a highway. You don't go on the interstate at 30 miles an hour. And and they just you know We're clueless. I mean, truly clueless.
And And I see this a lot in the hospital. If you have to go into the hospital for an extended period of time, be aware. that you're going to see high traffic areas. and stay to the right. And don't stand right in front of an elevator blocking it so people on the elevator can't get off.
You're not getting on unless they get off. And so give them space to maneuver. My father used to always say that. He said, keep moving forward, but give space to maneuver. That was one of his trademark lines.
And he was such a student of observing people and their behaviors, and he would probably chuckle at this. I don't know if you are, but I'm sorry. I just had to take this moment to vent out because I'm tired of running into people by the elevators and through the hallways of this hospital. Listen, we got more to go. This is Peter Rosenberger.
Hope for the caregiver. HopeforthTechiver.com. We'll be right back. Welcome back to Hope for the Caregiver. I'm Peter Rosenberger, PeterRosenberger.com.
Peter Rosenberg.com. If you want to explore more of what I put out there for you as a family caregiver, I hope you'll take advantage of it. Right up at the top of the page, you say check out Peter's Substack page.
Well, what does that mean?
Well, Substack is an online newsletter. And there are lots of different things that I put out there. You can put video, audio, and print and so forth, and that's what I do. On this page, my Latest post is what do you think? It's called What Do You Think?
And it's from my book, A Benefit for Caregivers, When Every Day Feels Like Monday. And I post these out every Monday.
So if you go out today and subscribe to this, you'll get a missive on Monday to tell you about A new one. But right now, you can go out and read this today, look at it, and there's some other things out there.
Some of us behind a paywall, and you have to subscribe for that. That's if that's your choice, you want to do it. But this I put out every Monday for free. And this is one I think that would connect deeply with you as a caregiver. I'll give you a Bit of a preview of this, okay, and the concept behind it.
That's the special bonus that you're going to get today on this program. Y'all, like I said, I've been here for a long time, I've devolved into elevator etiquette, you know, for a conversation topic. I mean, you get a little bit loopy here, and um. when you have these kinds of lengthy hospital stays. But I have often and embarrassingly inserted my opinion During Gracie's long medical journey.
I know you're saying to yourself, no, Peter, that couldn't happen. You wouldn't give your opinion. You would be quiet and demure and genteel, and you would be a wallflower. That's I know you might think that. That may be your first inclination to go there, but.
Let me dispel you of that and tell you that I have done this and I don't recall being frequently asked for my opinion, particularly by surgeons. Yet As the team was observing Gracie's response during the recovery process of one of her surgeries, The lead surgeon looked at me. and said, What do you think? All right, now think through that for just a moment. This guy is a serious surgeon.
Not a Not a lightweight. You don't serve. in this particular hospital, this teaching hospital, You don't serve in this capacity. As a teacher, as the attending unless you've got some real game to you. Let me just add I don't let you work on my wife.
Unless you have some real game to you.
Okay. We're we're pretty hard on on docs and surgeons. I had a resident tell me that, you know, we I've never seen this before. They were looking at some stuff with Gracie who said, We've never seen this before. I looked at this surgeon and I said, You know the first time I heard that from a surgeon?
Ronald Reagan was president. And they couldn't believe it. I mean, they were stunned. They really don't know how to wrap their mind around that.
So, anyway, this surgeon looked at me, and he's not a lightweight surgeon.
So what do you think?
Well You know, four decades of living with Gracie, I understand nuances about her. that no medical professional could ever hope to know. They don't have the kind of time to be brought up to speed on Gracie. I have a PhD in Gracie. All right.
And I came from the school of hard knocks. Most of them, she's knocked on my head. And I hear an amen from Gleason, Tennessee, where Betsy has just said amen. She listens to this program and she's saying amen. I've known Betsy and her husband, Tommy, for a very, very long time.
They've known me since I was 14 or 15 years old. But anyway, the School of Hard Knocks. That's it. A lengthy list of unpleasant events and I'm saying that with a great deal of diplomacy, Has taught me and continues to teach me the value of keeping my opinion to myself and only sharing what I've witnessed and experienced to the best of my abilities.
Now sometimes it gets the best of me, I admit. But I try to stay with my experience. and what I've what I've observed.
So when the surgeon graciously sought my thoughts, I stayed on message I shared what I have observed of my wife and her challenges, and avoided speculating. Here's what I have observed Okay. One of the things I've observed that Post-operatively, when something can go wrong with a patient, it usually will go wrong with Gracie. That's what I've observed.
Well And I went on to share with him some other things I've observed about her lengthy history. Nodding with understanding, he ordered a few additional tests, evidently in part based upon my response, and he continued looking for solutions.
Now as a caregiver, I'm learning to stay in my lane. I really am. Don't jump to conclusions that I'm not, even though I went on the whole elevator diatribe in the last block. I'm learning to stay in my lane while speaking with calm authority about what I know.
Okay, recognizing that my experience is far worthier than my opinion. And I put a quote on there from Kirk Cobain. You may not know who he is. is a particularly t sad, tragic figure. Who was the lead singer, guitarist, songwriter for Nirvana?
Very troubled young man who took his life when he was 27. He had been Just a very sad troubled man, but he he had he was a very deep thinker. And he wrote something once that said, We have no right to express an opinion until we know all of the answers. You know, and and and again, he was extremely troubled. Young man who sadly took his life.
Many attempts tried to take his life before dealt with drugs and so forth. But you know, in in the middle of his distress, I mean, he had such profound things that he said, the way he approached things. And I love that quote. We have no right to express an opinion until we know all the answers. And I think of my own life and how many times I have shot my mouth off.
with an opinion And I didn't even know what I was talking about. And I go back to what I said with this doctor. In my experience, this is what I've seen. This is what I've witnessed. This is what I've observed.
And I thought that might be helpful to Some of you, as caregivers, when dealing with your physicians and the medical providers treating your loved one, or in general, with anyone. Here's what I've witnessed. Here's what I've seen. Because your experience... is unimpeachable.
It's yours. You've experienced this. Your eyewitness is unimpeachable. This is what you saw. This is what you have encountered.
And if you stay in that place, you're not going to get off into the weirdness of opinion. And I and I also think about that with our Christian faith. How many of us give our opinion? Versus here's my experience. That's why I love going back to some of these hymns who have said it so beautifully, O God, our help, in ages past.
Our hope for years to come, our shelter from the stormy blast, and our eternal home.
Well That's saying, look, here's our experience. This is what we've seen, what he's done. You know, look at 1 Samuel 7, 12. Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mitzpah and Shem, and called its name Ebenezer. for he said, Thus far the Lord has helped us.
And the word Ebenezer means stone of help. Do you know the only hymn that uses the word Ebenezer? It's from Come Thou Fount of every blessing Here I raise my Ebenezer, Hither by thy help I come, And I hope, by Thy good pleasure, Safely to arrive at home. Come thou found of every blessing. It's such a great hymn, sadly.
The writer of that hymn struggled with his faith, even though he had that great line: bind my wandering heart to thee, prone to wonder, Lord, I feel it. Um You know, and and he struggled. I think all of his life or Certainly later on in his life. and um struggle with his faith. But at that time, he wrote that.
Again, sometimes some of the best things can come from people who are struggling mightily with stuff, like Kurt Cobain or like the. Author of this hymn, his name was Robert Robertson. He wrote that hymn back in 1758. He was just a kid. He was just 22.
Kurt Cobain was 27 when he killed himself. And you, you. I don't know if Robert Robertson ever Was able to resolve some of those issues in his life that he struggled with as he grew older and he supposedly left the faith. I don't know. I have no idea.
Somebody who knows more about him can maybe let me know. But he wrote this hymn, and it was a powerful hymn, and it's been sung all over the world. Here I raise my Ebenezer. Hither by thy help I've come so far Thus far the Lord has. This is my experience.
You know, look at Revelation. They overcame by the blood of the Lamb and the word of their opinion. No, that's not what it says. It says they overcame by the blood of the Lamb and the word of their testimony, their experience. When I Listen to preachers.
One of the things I listen for. Is there experience? I'm not interested in really your opinion. Show me what the text says. Show me how you've seen this in your life or in others, what you've observed.
And anchor me in this text. I'm not interested in your opinion that much. What I am interested in. Yeah. Understanding scripture on an experiential level to see these things fleshed out.
And so when I talked to that surgeon, I said, look, in my experience, this is what I've watched with Gracie. I've seen this. I am testifying to this. And that was enough for this surgeon to use that in a protocol. Because it's first-hand experiential.
That's the thing about our faith. We're not asked to take a leap of faith into the dark. We're Invited by Scripture, asked, commanded by, to anchor our faith in the light. And this is the experience of. I look at John, the Apostle John, when he's talking about Jesus being crucified, he said, I've witnessed this.
Look at John 19:35. He who saw it has borne witness. His testimony is true, and he knows that he is telling the truth that you may also believe. It's almost like John, and I don't know, if you're a theologian and scholar, you can tell me, but it's almost like he is saying this as an affidavit in court. Like, do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?
And he's saying, if you go back and look at the message, sometimes it helps me to understand it. If you go back and look at different translations and paraphrases in the message, it says, The eyewitness to these things has presented an accurate report. He saw it himself and is telling the truth so that you also will believe. I gave A first-hand account. of credible witness to my wife's medical journey.
Mm-hmm. The surgeon acted on that. and made some changes in this. The Apostle John. The prophet Samuel gave credible witness to what God has done.
John gave witness to that, this is what happened to Jesus on the cross.
So that we will also believe. That's not stepping into the dark. That's acting on the light. And that is hope. For the caregiver.
This is Peter Rosenberger. Peter Rosenberger.com. We'll be right back. Peter Rosenberger, he's not a preacher. but he's got great hair.
Welcome back to Hope for the Caregiver. I am Peter Rosenberg. Glad to be with you today. And you know what? You may have just turned this show on midstream.
You might be right here in the middle of the show. And you've been up all night having a conversation with the ceiling fan, and you wake up and you hear a program. That's for family caregivers of all things. And you think... Where has such a programme been?
Well, it's been right here. But I'm glad you're here with us now. And, you know, I've been doing this for 14 years. I've been on American Family Radio now for seven years. And I understand how difficult this journey is.
I really do. And I understand what brings me comfort. And I ask you, think about that for just a moment. Most of you know my story, and if you're brand new to the audience and you're just coming in halfway through the show, that's okay. Uh you know Four decades.
And on Monday or Tuesday, my wife will have her 90. Third, Surgery. Car wreck back in 1983.
Now, think through the lengthy amount of time this is. How many hospitalizations? We've been here for this particular stretch for 10 weeks. Doesn't show, I don't know when we're going home. But we can't go home until this is done.
And I understand how difficult this journey is. So what brings me comfort? What brings Gracie comfort in this? Is it anesthesia? Is it Painkillers?
Well, it helps ease her pain. But is that what brings her comfort? Is that what brings me comfort? What what brings me comfort? I mean, think about it.
I mean, I'm working out of a hotel room across the street in not the best part of town in Aurora, Colorado.
Well we got I'd like to be at home. I could have been out on the snowmobile. and and enjoying a beautiful Montana winter. Instead, I'm over here in a hotel, and sometimes I know. The other night I had ramen noodle soup.
I was tired. I didn't feel like going anywhere.
So I just had ramen soup. I remember I was staying at a hotel down the road here. There's several hotels across the street, but now I've camped out at this one. I've been here now multiple times. We've been down here, and this is where I am going to be permanently.
but I don't think we're gonna have to come back for another stretch. But I was standing one down the road. And they got it messed up. This was some years ago. And they got it messed up in a room, and I but I was in the middle of Gracie's surgery, and I didn't do anything about it until about a week or two after she'd kind of stabilized.
And I was checking out one, I mean, I was at the counter, and I was they had a little You know how hotels do it, they have a little place where you could buy overpriced items. And they had some soup, and I just, you know, it goes back to my college days, some ramen soup. And I had there on the counter. My dinner that night because I was tired and I didn't feel like going anywhere, and I paid overpriced ramen soup. You know, and you know how much that stuff costs.
But I mentioned the night manager, I said, Look, I'm just now getting back with you, but when we got here, they were supposed to have this kind of room for my wife. They didn't have it, and they really kind of messed it up, and it was very difficult. And I just wanted to bring that to your attention. And she saw my soup on the counter there and she said, Oh, I'm so sorry. Here, take that on us.
It's the least we can do. And I Used a great deal of restraint. You have no idea the torque involved in this. And I. I almost said, but I didn't say.
It's rumin soup. There ain't no Leister. Of course it's the least you could do. But she was very sincere, and I let it slide. Eventually, I talked to the daytime manager, and they worked out the problem, got it all squared away.
So. you know, this is the way I'm living here. And Gracie's not certainly enjoying where she is. I mean, she's had now this will be her sixth surgery in this ten week stretch here. This leg just doesn't want to heal.
And they have to go in there and redo something even different now. And so Here we are. But we can't leave. This is for all the marbles. If we get this right, she has a better quality of life.
We get it wrong, she's in pretty dire circumstances for the rest of her life on earth. And so I get the journey. What brings me comfort? What has settled my heart down? What has given me the ability to focus and be.
clear headed during this. And that is thinking on the things of God. And not abstractly. I'm talking about up, close, and personal, really contemplating these things. I've been studying, I've been going through the book of John while I'm here.
And I am um I am resolved to these things. because I know that there is a greater work going on. And that I go back to what I've been saying over the last couple of weeks here with the Heidelberg catechism: what is my only comfort? in life and in death. And that is that I belong to Christ.
And in this world, he will see fit to allow us to go through. Very painful things, sometimes horrific things. I don't know why I'm not really all that excited about it. I don't like it. But I am so committed to this because I see that he has saved me from something far worse.
And I belong in his service. And if this is where he's asked us to go, and this is what Gracie said when I was praying for her, I mentioned this two weeks ago before her 91st surgery. And I was like, Lord, this is too many. And Gracie said, No, it's not. This is how many he thinks is necessary.
And we're gonna do what he has led us to do. I know that I think it was Karl Marx or Stalin or somebody. One of those guys. who said that religion is the opioid for the masses. I I can't say that I disagree with that.
But I'm not talking about religion. I'm talking about theology. Understanding and knowing discovering learning about God. Religion is man's attempt To do these things, theology is studying what God has already shown us in His Word. that we can know him.
And I've said this before on this program that I I had a caller call into the Wednesday live show that I do. And asked, is suffering required? in order to grow in our Christianity. And my answer was: suffering is required to be a human being. In this world, we're going to have it.
I mean, it's part of the condition. And you can live your whole life without being afflicted by trauma or disease of any magnitude, not even approaching anywhere near where Gracie is. But you're still going to. Die, your body's going to get old and die. None of us, unless Christ returns, none of us are getting out of this thing alive.
That's just part of the human condition. It's how we trust God in those things. That's where the difference is. And I go back to this surgical event that we're dealing with here. in our life right now.
Now these surgeons that I've I've been working with here, and they're wonderful I I've worked with them now for some time and I've gotten to know them a little bit, but I don't know them all that well. I don't know, for example, her attending surgeon's wife and kids and all those kinds of things. I really don't know a lot of his background. I know where he's from and and that but that's pretty much about it. But this man, who I barely know, will take my wife into a room with a bunch of strangers who I do not know, and they will do ghastly things to her body with ghastly tools that I wouldn't want to even touch.
And then when he comes out, I'll thank him. And Gracie does too. She took his hand one time. Thank you. How often do we do that to people who wear white lab coats?
or surgical scrubs. Thank you, Doctor. Thank you, doctor. and we treat them with reverence and respect, and we barely know them. We don't know where their doctoral stances are.
We don't know what they believe, why they believe it. We don't know those things. We just know that they've been certified to do such and such by the governing authorities of the state and the medical licensing board, and this hospital has vetted them, and the teaching university they went to has properly instructed them. And we take that on faith, even though we've never looked at their transcripts. We've never looked at their grades.
We don't know anything about them. But we will let them go in there and do things to our loved ones, and we will thank them for it. How much more? Can we approach the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. When he does these things, how much more skilled is he and we can know him He has made it possible.
That's what theology is. He's laid it all out. This is who I am.
Now we will never know him absolutely because we're not infinite beings like he is. But we can know him truly. He's immutable. His loving kindness never fails. It's grace.
It's mercy. It's wisdom. his justice His wrath All of those things laid out. Corey Tin Boone once said, Don't be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God. What brings us comfort?
is that I am not trusting Gracie. to a bunch of people in medical gear that I don't know. I'm trusting her. to the one I do know. I I'd love You're going to hear me do this probably for the rest of the time I have a program.
But I love to quote my father. And mom told me this story about him one time, and I've seen this in his life, and I have such a So many great Wonderful memories of things that he has said and imparted to us, but she was struggling with something. Young into their marriage, and I, or I don't know how young it was, mom. Mom listens every week. I don't know how young you were, but it was some time ago.
And she kind of popped off. How do you know that? And she 'cause get dad was sharing something from scripture with her. She goes well, how do you know this? And Dad responded very calmly.
Because I know God. Because I know God. Well, it gives me comfort. I know God. He's told me who he is.
and I take him at his word. And that's what strengthens me. That's what equips me. That's what settles me down. I can produce a lengthy line of people, some of them in this audience, who have known me for a very long time.
and would say, Yeah, that ain't Peter. That's evidence of the redemptive work of Christ in Peter's life because that ain't him. We know Peter, we've seen his work. And that's not me. And thanks be to God, it isn't me.
It doesn't have to be you either. We don't have to be reactive all the time. We are invited by Scripture to cast all our cares on him. We're invited to walk in His statutes, to trust Him. to take him at his word.
And he gives us all the evidence that we need. Of said step of faith, And like I said in the last blog, we're not stepping by faith into the dark. We're stepping by faith into the light. The credible Testimony of others who have observed this, who have walked this, like John himself said in the Gospel of John. I saw it.
I was there. Like I said to that surgeon, here's what I've seen. And so, when I look at people like my father, and like so many, who said, Here's what I have observed. Here's what I know. Here's what I've experienced.
That is what comforts and strengthens me and equips me and fortifies me. And then I can take that into Gracie's hospital room and offer her the same comfort. that I myself have received. from the God of all comfort.
Now you know what that is? That is hope. For this caregiver. This is Peter Rosenberger. We'll be right back.
Welcome back to Hope for the Caregiver. This is Peter Rosenberger. Do you know what that hymn is? That hymn is called Abide with me. And it's from my C D.
Songs for the caregiver. I've always Love this hymn. This is my mother's favorite hymn. And uh I've played this countless times. You can see this, like I said, on my CD, Songs for the Caregiver.
You can download the whole thing wherever digital music is streamed. Or you can call Logos Bookstore in Nashville, Tennessee, and get a copy of it. They're the only ones that care. It's all out at my website, PeterRosenberger.com. But that's not the purpose of me telling you all this.
I used to play this hymn. and many others in the sanctuary church where we attended in Nashville for many years. My pastor at the time asked me to Play on Sunday mornings as people were coming in to help create a more reverent atmosphere for the church.
So people would just talk, you know. yabber and they would come in and be more reflective.
So I would work out a lot of these hem arrangements that I did there. And during the week I would practice this. And there was, I noticed that I wasn't alone in the sanctuary. And at the back there was a custodian there at the church. And he would be putting hymnals back in the racks and sweeping and straightening up, very much like my father used to do when he was a young man.
And I've got a picture of my father when he was working at a church as a custodian.
So I had a very special place in my heart for custodians of churches, and this man was no exception. And I would stop and ask him: I'd say, hey, do you want me to play something for you? And he said, no, just keep playing. Just keep playing.
So I'd play and sometimes I'd practice there for an hour, maybe more. And a beautiful steinway up at the front of the church. And that's the cover of my CD: me playing in that sanctuary by myself. Except I have one picture of me playing there, and it was taken from the choir loft area. We're on bus.
And you can Make y'all. Mike in the very back there and I that picture hangs on a wall in my parents' home. I gave that to my father and That picture is juxtaposed against the picture of my dad when he was. in the sanctuary. Serving.
Now why am I telling you all this?
Well, this week in the news, they released more of the writings from the shooter at the Covenant School there in Nashville. the first victim that she shot and killed was Mike. The custodian who used to listen to me play the piano. Two years ago this week I went back to Nashville to play at his funeral. And I played for him one last time.
I I look at the Horrific Things about that event, and it's still surreal. It's hard to believe. Hard to believe it happened. And The unspeakable tragedy. With so many, I refuse.
And if this gets me in trouble, you can write letters to Peter at the internet.google. But I refuse to call this individual a transgender or a guy. It was a girl. It was a woman, twenty eight years old, I believe. who was very, very, very disturbed.
According to the news reports, she had been writing horrifically violent. plans for some time. And I don't know why it wasn't caught. I don't know why. Uh Nobody seemed to intercept this or say something, but I just know that from the facts.
She showed up that day and Mike was the first person in her path and she shot and killed him. And I think about all the times that Mike said to me, just keep playing. Just keep playing.
And so I do, and I played at his funeral two years ago this week, and uh I played the opening hymn was great as our faithfulness. And I got to tell you all, um, I laid into it. I didn't hold back. Uh I didn't play it like a mourner. Mike wouldn't have wanted me to.
Play it with conviction. Play it like a believer. And he would want me to Do so. I said This time I was in the front of the church, in the choir loft area, But Mike's casket was just instead of him being at the back of the church, sitting there listening. His casket was right there, up front.
Just yeah. ten, fifteen feet away from me. And uh You know, these are hard things. We don't have the words for it. We groan.
But we're not alone in our groaning. And I just want to leave you with today. I know this is a bit of a somber note. For the show, but I wanted to leave this with because I never forget that the reason why people listen to this program is because they're hurting. And the reason why people Give me an hour.
of their time to listen to this is because they they feel like they're drowning. And I understand that sometimes the person who understands you the most. is the one who's bled like you have. And I have. Still do.
Many times in that sanctuary when I was playing, I was pouring out my heart because I didn't have the words.
some of the things that Gracie and I were going through. Mike kept saying, Just keep playing. Just keep playing.
Just keep playing.
The spirit Groans on our behalf. Scripture tells us to pray without ceasing. Just keep praying. Just keep praying. When we don't have the words.
And That's why I'm grateful for music. I wish I had the caregiver keyboard here at this hotel. and while we're in this hospital visit, but I don't.
So I have to make do. I look forward to be able to getting home and playing the piano some more. Just keep playing.
It's a hard thing to read about that in the news, and this is the world we're in. And it's not going to get any better any time soon, it doesn't look like. But we are not absolved from walking into that craziness and heartache. with the confidence of the gospel, and that is what I am committed to doing. I had been writing a song when the shooting occurred.
I had been writing a song, I'd had it for about a month or two, but it wasn't finished. I finished it right after the shooting. In fact, I finished it the But then That that evening. Because I d I was Just so overwhelmed by watching this. Then I had Gracie sing it.
I titled the piece Covenant lament. I really didn't know what else to call it. What else can he say? He's just lamenting. And I went to the words of scripture that helped.
shape this. This is all scripture. And I Yeah, I wanted to leave this with you all today at the end of this program.
Some of you. are groaning.
Some of you are of weeping. And I want you to know that there is one who weeps for us and groans for us.
Well, we can trust it. Bliss of the Gracies sing. As we take the show out today, And Thank you for your time. I'm Peter Rosenberger. And I remember what my friend Mike told me.
Keep playing. Just keep playing.
Oh no. Learn my strength. My hope on you I can't. Yeah. Mm-hmm.
I care. In my distress. I know you hear My prayer on you. Alone I wait I rest upon me. I am free.
Deemed and free because of Yeah. High and high face incline thine hear unto me Let my cry be heard by love and comfort me O Lord, my strength, my hope on you I cast my care in my distress. I know you hear my prayer. On you alone, I wait. I rest upon your word.
I am breathing and free because of you to you I come only you will I trust Lord I live my heart to deep for you my God has set me free all on my street My hope on you. Cast my care in my distress on all you hear, my friend. You alone I wait, I rest upon your word. I am redeemed and free because of you. I am redeemed and free because of you because of you
