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Welcome into the Winkler verse. I am Bart Winkler. Ryan Horvat, alongside. It's time for our weeknight. Can you believe it's already week?
Can you believe? It's already week nine. We're brought to you by the Drive. Again, this is a great game. Go to playthedrive dot com.
Shout out to Dan. Dan's in on the streams too. If you want to interact and have more questions, we'll pass along. But you get a box, and in it is the cup with the chips with the cards. It's a great way to make football more exciting, since football blows.
Right now, and we're in for another shit game tonight, which we'll get to in a second. I do want to say happy one week anniversary for the World Series win for the Brewers. At least this is the one week anniversary now of us waking up and being groggy. I'm still not in good shape physically. I have taken my kid to school the last three days.
Come home. Passed out for a good two hours, and then I wake up and just pound his his trick or treat stash.
So a little Marcy playground nap and candy, not sex and candy. I'm going naps and candy, and I'm really getting fat again and turning into a big old piece of shit. And that's why I love to talk with Horvat. Ryan Horvat's here to to see the opposite of that. Another good week of gains, I can tell, Corvus.
Yeah, I mean, I thought last week was actually decent. I saw you talk about it on on Twitter and say that you fell asleep, took a big nap, but. I mean, the quarterback play in the in the league is awful. It really is. And tonight we get Joey Finiano, UConn legend.
So I don't think it's going to get much better there. Trevor Lawrence has been awesome. You know, Joe Burrow. Even last week, he's offensive player of the week, and he throws what four touchdowns, but he also threw three picks to the same guy.
So, yeah. I mean, I miss honestly. It was the same guy got him. Yeah, I I I miss um I miss I miss like. I don't know.
Just the way that it felt when it was like Peyton Manning against Tom Brady, Drew Brees against Rogers. You know what I mean? I just feel like we don't get those quarterbacks.
So is that what you think we're missing—the quarterback play? I think the quarterback play is terrible. A lot of Dinkin and Duncan. The penalties don't help. There's a flag on every other play.
There's not really a good team, and you could argue like parody's a good thing, but I don't know. Like last year, I was so bored watching the Seahawks and the Patriots. I was like, are either of these teams any good? That was one of the worst Super Bowls ever. Yeah, I feel like it's kind of like like it didn't even happen.
It was like better. It's it's better when you have like a kind of a common enemy, like right, like when there's like a villain in the league. Like you either love or hate the Chiefs, but they're good every year. The Patriots. Like shit, like Green Bay for so many years.
You know, I mean, like should be the case right now because you have the quarterback, but you just don't have the coach or the offensive line or the general manager or the running back. Definitely not the running back. That and I don't know. I don't. I don't want to be the first guy to say it, but I'm not.
I'm not loving post extension Tucker Craft.
Okay, drops a lot of ah yeah top three in drops this year at the tight end position. I'm with you, man. Um, everybody like I hate I like Tucker Craft, but I hate how he become he became like a like a full hero because he like drinks and smokes cigarettes. Everybody's like our tight end's the best, and it's a picture of him camping, like ripping a dart with a bush light. I would rather have my tight end.
Hitting the gym and blocking to get the rock. You got to block to get the rock.
So it makes me. I get so now. I do think that there's some teams that are fun to watch, though. And I hate to say this, and you guys could crush me or whatever, but the Bears are fun to watch. There's a lot of there's a lot of sentiment that because the Brewers won the World Series, now the Bears are going to win the Super Bowl.
I mean, the Bears can win the Super Bowl. They're not my—I don't know. I'm I'm kind of going back on on my Lions pick now, man, because I didn't know that the. Did you just text me your new pick last night? Yeah.
So I mean, before the year, I went Cincinnati, Detroit, Detroit over Cincinnati. Detroit wins their first Super Bowl. Um, but now I kind of like Chicago because so here's like Thanksgiving is going to be huge. I I feel like whoever wins the division. Is is going to make a run to the the the longer run, right?
Like I would love to pick the Packers, and I know Micah's coming back, but I just think it's going to take probably like another off season for Micah to be Micah. The secondary, I gotta stop ragging on them because they've outperformed my expectations. They've been your expectations. Every, I, I mean, they're a top ten secondary, um, but the offensive line is piss. The running back situation isn't much better, but then again, you could stick Prime Barry Sanders behind that offensive line, and he's not going to rush for a thousand yards.
But Jacobs looks washed; he's getting way too many touches. Yeah, I mean, like the wide receiver room—way too many drops. Christian Watson's a good player, but he should be probably like a two or a three on like a Super Bowl contending team. And the Bears went out and they got. Like here's what people don't understand, man.
You should know if you're talking secondary. Earlier this morning, Evan Williams was named the NFC Defensive Player of the Month. That's what I'm saying, dude. The secondary has really been a lot better than I expected coming into the season, and you know they're getting pressure on the quarterback, and now Micah's coming back.
So I'm not saying that the Packers are dead. They could win it all, like you know. I just I don't believe this year. I think next year they could win it all. I don't know this year because of the division.
The Vikings are frauds. I actually bet them three to one, four to one to miss the playoffs. But I think it's going to come down to Detroit and Chicago. That's a big game on Thanksgiving. And the reason I'm saying the Bears, even though I hate them, is because Tennessee traded Simmons to them, and and like everybody was like, oh, the Bears are giving up too much.
No, they're not, and we gotta stop fucking saying this shit, man. Because we did this with the Rams when they traded all those picks for Odell Beckham Jr., right? And they went all in, and they they want a Super Bowl, you know. And and we're always like, oh no, we can't give up a fourth round pick for Tony Gonzalez. We're gonna need that draft capital to take some shitty guard in the fourth round that'll never see the field, and when he does, be a disaster.
But the reason I like the Bears now is because Simmons, I feel, is the most underrated. Player, not even defensive player in the National Football League, and he has been the last couple years. He's a stud, but his team has been dog shit, so nobody really knows who he is. He's prime Sue. He's right, like that's my comp.
He's awesome, and and now the Bears are going to be awesome. Like Montez Sweat, that's his boy. Montez Sweat has been a huge bust since they made that move for him, but now he's going to be extra motivated. Caleb Williams is awesome. Ben Johnson is really good, so if I could do it over, I I don't trust Detroit's defense, and I know they've been playing good the last couple.
I don't trust Dan Campbell, and I don't trust Dan Campbell.
Now I know, like, but Ben Johnson has. I don't trust Ben Johnson. I do. No, I okay. Right now, you who would you rather have, Ben Johnson or our guy, Will Floor?
I I mean, I guess Ben Johnson, but. You gotta take away like the the the carrying the the the Kool-Aid. You know, you you don't have to do that because you're not a former Packer that only has this job because you were a former Packer, right? You gotta, you know what I mean? Everybody's not the best fucking player.
The GM's not the best. This is why I'm the bad guy to some people, and I don't give a shit, man. Because like this offensive line is shit. Gute is not good at evaluating talent. I I hate that now he's gonna get a pass because the defense is pretty good without Micah.
But like, yeah, I would rather have Ben Johnson than Matt Lafleur. I, I may rather have Dan Campbell than Matt Lafleur. Yeah, I mean, I don't like Lafleur, so yeah. But also, I would rather have Kevin. If I had to pick out of the all the NFC North coaches, Lafleur would be dead last.
I agree.
Well, O'Connell sucks with quarterbacks. Even though he gets, Darnold's better elsewhere. He he ruins guys. I got to take on Darnold. I I'm just going to give it now.
I'm not going to wait for the Seattle game. I think Sam Darnold's the worst starting quarterback ever to win a Super Bowl. And you could throw Trent Dilfer and all these game managers. Trent's better than people. What about Brad Johnson?
They were better too. I don't think Darnold. They were better than this. He he just he he's reckless with the football, dude. Like with that team.
Now the problem is they don't have the run game. They should have. They're like the one team they should have paid Kenneth Walker. I know I like the move for Nelson, but they can't run the rock right now. And if you can't run the ball, then you're dropping Darnold back 35 times.
God bless you. You know what I do like about the Bears? I'll tell you what I like about the Bears. I like that Jeffrey Simmons got traded to the Bears, and he played right away. He didn't take this mystery week off.
You know, sometimes two weeks. There's only 17 games. If you get traded, suit up. And a lot of guys don't right away, so I give them credit for that. And, dude, like, again, I don't like the team.
I don't like them. I'm saying I like, like, if I'm placing a bet today, I think they win the North, and I think they can make a run to the Super Bowl because they got the quarterback. This is why, like. All right, Jordan Love bookmarks, and everybody don't kill me. I love Jordan Love.
I do. I think Jordan Love is the top five quarterback in the National Football League. But again, and I and we're talking about this again. The reason I didn't like the draft pick, dude, is because why are the Bears able to go out and trade for? Here's what the idiots, the fucking idiots, don't understand.
Why are the Bears able to go out and trade for Simmons? Because they have a quarterback on a rookie deal. When Caleb gets paid, we're gonna find out is he Aaron Rodgers, right? Because can he is he good enough to win a team eleven, twelve games? That's what Rodgers was with dog shit defenses with Ladarius Gunter.
The reason I didn't like the Jordan Love pick was because you were already paying Aaron Rodgers, who goes on to win Super Bowls, and we had no fucking money. Like you're supposed to like draft Jordan Love. When you don't have Aaron Rodgers and you're not paying a quarterback 150 million, I don't think they. Offensive line and you can pay the pass rush and then you win a Super Bowl. That's why I like the Bears, dude.
Like the Lions, they can't go out and trade for a top five edge rusher or defensive tackle. You know why? Because they're paying Goff and they're paying Git. Like they're paying all these dudes.
So that that was why I didn't like the love pick. It wasn't like oh Horvat hates Jordan. Horvat? No, I'm like Horvat. Horvat.
How football works. You you are the only one still litigating the love pick. You keep bringing it up.
Well, now I love the pick because he's a top five. I know, but you're still you're like. But I'm fine. No, I was just I was making the example. I was giving the example of why like the Bears.
They're able to do whatever they want and and like pay all these guys right now because Caleb hasn't got paid.
So the here's like a hot take for you. If the Bears don't win a Super Bowl in the next three years, I don't think they're going to win one. Or like the win one win. Caleb's thirty two. I think Caleb's awesome, but I don't think, I don't think there's like a quarterback in the league right now that's good enough to win with a shitty offensive line and shitty receivers.
Do what Rodgers did for so many years, um, and really only Rodgers. Also, I got another hot take for you. Could we end the Mahomes greatest of all time? It's it's if you're not Tom Brady. Do you really think take away the the Super Bowl rings?
But I'm just talking career. Is Mahomes' career really better than Rogers' statistically? Ah, no. Is Mahomes washed? I don't think he's washed.
I know he's coming off an ACL, but like, there's something wrong with him. And I don't want to hear about the receivers because I was watching Aaron Rodgers throw 13 touchdowns to James Jones. I'm just, I'm just saying. I think we, I think we jumped the gun a little bit with them. Holmes is the greatest of all time, just because he won a couple of Super Bowls with a really good defense.
Steve Spagnuolo and Andy Reid. Um, there's my hot takes that I've been bottled up for. Yeah, shit. I don't get to talk. Yeah, you could talk any time.
You could be making reels and putting them on your page. They, they don't have to waste these on us, on the verse. I mean, I didn't like that. Wasn't anything like groundbreaking. It's like that's how you win in the National Football.
I could have these reels cut up for you. I could send them to you, and you could post them on your Instagram. Like nobody wins Super Bowls anymore. I mean, the Chiefs paid Mahomes a bunch of money, but they did it weirdly. Like nobody with the best quarterback like wins Super Bowls anymore, though.
It's Sam Darnold. It's Jalen Hurts. Right. It's um, old Mahomes. Matt Stafford.
And that's the other guy, like Dan Orlovsky. I get he's your buddy, and you guys go golfing together. But top five quarterback all time, like what? We, I, I think what I would like, what I would, for a decade, what I would like. The reason I rail on so many of these guys that are like good is, you have to notice some of these guys have the assistance of PR.
Like when when these guys are on TV talking how good Bo Nix is or Matt Stafford, why are they doing it? Do they really think they're good, or do they have the same agent, or are they friends with Sean Payton, or are they trying to you know curry some sort of favor? Like, take it with a grain of salt. That's why you need to come into the Winkler verse and listen to our biases. Although Horvat, you know, a lot of credit to other NFC North teams.
These He's as true as it gets there, so you gotta listen to Harvey. I just, I, I just feel like you made a great point right there, and they got a big game coming up next week against Cincinnati. But the Steelers are six and two. It's Rogers last year. He's a Hall of Fame first ballot, multi MVP, Super Bowl winning quarterback.
Like, why isn't anybody really talking about the Steelers? Like, I feel like McCarthy is a great story, man. Everybody thinks he's just this big idiot. Everybody loved Tomlin. Oh, guaranteed 10, 11 win seasons.
Meanwhile, he's playing Minecraft. And McCarthy takes the job. Rodgers is old as shit. The defense is the highest paid in the league, but like they're all old. Jalen Ramsey is a safety now, and they're six and two.
And like they're not. Like nobody thinks of them as a feel good story because you know Rodgers COVID stuff and whatnot. One bad Packers loss can hang over your week. Many guys were taught to tough it out. Talking to someone isn't weakness.
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Yeah, good one tonight. Yeah, a good one tonight. This is this is our happy place hem game of the week, where you're gonna need a gummy or a seltzer to get through it. There's one good team, and there should be a good matchup. But Lamar Jackson's out forever, and Jacoby Brissett is now the quarterback, but he's not playing right away because that trade isn't even official yet.
Tyler Huntley's hurt.
So we have Joey Fatone, Joey Finiano, Joey Finiano. Yeah.
All right, for the Ravens and the Jags tonight. What's the line on this? Like nine and a half. And he's hurt though, bro. He's he's playing with a brace on.
He got hurt.
So who's the backup quarterback? Um.
Okay. It is. Uh. Hold on. It's.
Oh man. Hold on. I need to know. Austin Kafensis. It's.
Uh. Uh. Uh. Man, hold on, hold on, hold on! It is.
I know this. Um, I'm gonna have to look it up. Damn it! It's it's Austin. Ah, shit, shit.
Austin Theory. I keep want to say Austin Davis, but that's not who it is. Hold on, Austin Creed. It is. So it's Jacoby Brissett, obviously.
Damn it! Who is it? It is uh, oh, Keaton Slovis. They just picked up from BYU USC. Yeah, so it's just him.
I thought they picked up that one kid from the Mac. I don't know. It's it's Slovis is the backup. I think there's a good chance you might see him tonight because Finiano's hurt. I don't know.
I don't really know what to expect. Like I had a lot of money on Baltimore last week at three and a half. It closed at three. And Lamar drops back the first drop back, and his his thumb explodes, his hand explodes.
So that was painful. Then I'm like, okay, well at least it's new Puntley. He gets hurt. Fignano comes in and lets like three rip right away, like three really nice completions. After that, though, the problem with the Ravens is they have the same problem that we have.
Their offensive line isn't very good. What's the line? Ten. Oh, in a prime time game. I have a bet in this game.
I am going to go Jags under twenty four and a half because, like I always talk about, the Ravens' defense has been awful, and they're the second highest paid in the league. Marlon Humphreys is cooked. Nobody's been very good on that side of the ball, but they played hard in the first half last week. Then they just completely gave up because they couldn't sustain drives. Like I always say, it's hard to.
Like you can't run and hide on a Thursday night. If they get blown out, that's freaking embarrassing.
So I think the defense is going to show. I think everybody expects because the Jags are a top five scoring offense. They're going to score forty. I don't think that's going to be the case, especially on the road, short week. I like the Jags team total under twenty four and a half.
I'm not going to bet the Ravens, but if I like the Jags only to score twenty four, I think they could get in the end zone twice.
So I will go Ravens to cover the ten. But my bet in the game, Jags under twenty four and a half team total, minus one fifteen. I would take Jacksonville to win, but I agree with you. I don't think the Ravens are going to let themselves get destroyed in prime time, so I'll take the Ravens to cover. I also want to complain about something, and I don't know when the best time to do that is, so I'll do it here.
You know, Charles Tillman has the nickname Peanut Tillman. Isn't the FBI? People forget. Oh, so I know that he punched the football lot, you know, and it was the peanut punch. But now we're calling it the peanut punch every time, and now we're doing it and not even saying why it's called the peanut punch.
I don't think he deserves to have his own play named after him. It annoys me. I mean, he was an artist. Did it? I know, but I, I like.
I'm just. I'm tired of hearing peanut. He's been retired. We don't have to glaze him. All right, I kind of like it because I feel like, like if you get the reference, then you're a ball knower, right?
Like I don't. No one's more of a ball knower than me. Maybe that's why. Oh, and Brady, Brady threw out a red area the other day. I I feel like the the only beef I don't have a beef.
I feel like the only issue I have with JJ. Oh, who JJ? JJ Watt taken over in the booth. Is he kind of like fansplains a lot? And it's like if if like don't do that.
JJ Watt's trying too hard to be liked by everyone. Yeah, I that booth. I that that booth is for your grandma. There's not really a booth that I enjoy anymore, and I hate to say that because I live for, for Joe and Troy, and now they hate each other. I feel like when my parents got divorced when I was nine years old, man.
Like I love them both, and like, you know, I don't, I don't like it. I can't believe that that's going on. That's the one freaking broadcast team that you just can't screw with. But yeah, man.
Some weeks I like Brady, and then some weeks I'm like. He's maling it in. Anyway, let's go to uh Spain. Let's go to Spain. Let's go to Spain.
Go to Spain. Uh, we're out in Madrid. Espanola. In the Bengals, who took a lot out of them to beat Tennessee. Cam Ward finally plays a good game.
Joe Burrow four touchdown passes, but also again throws three picks. They're three and a half point favorites. This opened at three against two against Atlanta. I kind of want to bet the over at fifty two and a half, but I'm not going to. I'm not going to bet this game.
If I had to bet the game, I would take Atlanta. It's like Atlanta looks like shit. Michael Penix is trying. By the way, at least like Tampa Bay was like we're not even going to drop Baker back. Watching Michael Penix try, it was like when um that dude during COVID, the wide receiver Kendall Hinton, Kendall Hinton.
Watching Penix try to throw a wet football was hilarious.
Sometimes watching them throw a dry football is hilarious. I feel like they're going to cover here, though. I'm not going to bet this game, but if I were to, I would want a three and a half. It opened at four and a half, so some money's coming in on Atlanta, and I think rightfully so. I like Atlanta to cover here, but I'm not going to bet this because I got way too much college action this week.
Oh, it's a big week, yeah. All on Notre Dame, and I bet CJ Carr to win the Heisman. Oh, they're without Tony. That's why. Is that why?
Yeah, I mean, I already liked it because I felt like extra motivation. Notre Dame loses; they're out. They get ranked number eleven, and now, yeah, no Tony. And I'm just why is Bama? I don't give a shit really, but why is Bama ranked fifth?
Thank God they're going to lose this weekend. Why do? Why do they? Why does that committee do everything they can? For Bama, and they don't even hide it.
Okay, so the SEC, the one I like, the Bengals to cover.
Okay, the SEC did a really good job. Like, listen to like Steve Sarkisian, Sark, before the season began, he kept campaigning and making the case for the three-loss SEC team, and then they like Ryan Day and all the other jabronis from the Big Ten, Dan Landing wouldn't do that.
So it's just the SEC bias. I hate it. Luckily, though, I think LSU is going to blow out Bama. And I also think, dude, that Georgia's going down this week. Gunner Stockton has not been very good, and Trinidad has been awesome.
If I were to make two Heisman bets before this weekend, I think you could still get CJ Car like almost six to one plus five seventy five. And I would look at some prices on Trinidad. He's awesome, and I think he's going to ball out against Georgia. I think Ole Miss beats Georgia. I hope I get you know a good.
Block a time to watch all these games since it's also crown jewel. I'm good on crown jewel.
Well, I got to watch to see if the arena gets bombed. Jesus Christ! I mean, no shit though, right? What they doing over there? You're taking Cincy?
Uh, yeah. All right. That's my that was my preseason AFC pick, so that would move them to six and two. I would like that. All right, Denver, Carolina.
Here's one of my favorite bets of the weekend. I took Carolina at three. This was a Super Bowl once. It's down to two and a half. It wasn't a very good one.
Total in the game is forty-four and a half. In honor of Jake Delhomme. Not only do I think Carolina covers the three and the two and a half, I think they're going to win this game outright. You just saw them embarrass themselves, and Bryce Young peed down his leg against us. Meaning they'll ball out against a beat-up Denver secondary.
Give me the Panthers. To win the game, I am a little bit of a wimp, so I took them at three. I still like two and a half, but obviously, I prefer the full field goal plus one thirty on the money line at DraftKings. I like Carolina to upset Denver. Bo Nix, more like Bo Picks.
Guy sucks. I have a Bronco and a Panther fighting in my soul right now for who is going for who's and whoever. Keep pounding, my horse. Just so you know, would have been better horse than Panther, but I'm taking the Panthers here in this long-awaited rematch of Super Bowl. Cam Newton, pick up the fucking football.
Yeah, the Sex Panther. Sixty percent of the time, they cost me money every time, but I am going to bet them this week. Let's go out to New Orleans, where the Saints, Chuba Hubbard, might be the best back in the league that no one's talking about. I always tweet out what I bet right away because, like, if I feel good about something and I think the line's going to move, and here was my second favorite bet of the week. It was the Saints at home.
They were a one-point favorite. I bet the money line minus one eighteen in case it closes twenty-one twenty.
Now. They're three-point favorites because Deshaun Watson's in the concussion protocol and Shador Sanders isn't very good. I still like Tyler Shuck. The Saints don't really have a run. We're getting a Shuck versus Sanders matchup.
Yeah, and I think the Saints win. They're three-point favorites now. Um.
You know, I'll I'll still take them at three, but I wouldn't bet them at three. I really like the minus one eighteen moneyline price.
Now, if you want to just take them to win, it's minus one sixty two. Best prices at DraftKings, but Poto's a better sportsbook, so you should go there. Have a couple beers, maybe run into Joel Embiid. Goose is in Milwaukee for the next three nights, so if you're not going there, you're a big idiot, in my opinion. I had to sell my tickets because I got a job.
I had to come out of retirement because I was broke. Just kidding about the broke part, but I am out of retirement, so.
Now I'm going to Goose. And you want to tell the people or let them figure out on their own? I mean, I'm working and like they can figure it out on their own.
Okay, I'm working at Target. Yeah, I mean, you're you're a lead. You're a store lead. Actually, you know, I'll throw it out there because I'm doing the Ravens post game show tonight, one hundred five seven, and it's you could stream it so you could watch me too.
So after the Ravens game. Around eleven fifty-five Eastern, ten fifty-five your time. I'll be on breaking down the Ravens. Hopefully, congratulations! I'm excited for you.
Hopefully, I'll remember who the backup quarterback is by that. Just kidding. But yeah, dude, I love the Saints here.
So, how good are you on the fifty-three with the Ravens yet? Pretty good. I can name the entire fifty-three except for the practice squad quarterbacks. I'm—I mean, I love Lamar, so it just—it was heartbreaking. I've won so much money off Lamar the last decade, dude.
From college to both MVPs, I bet him those seasons, and I love him. Like, there's people out here that are like, I mean, all the national guys are talking about his Lamar played his last down in Baltimore. I think you would be crazy not to do whatever it takes and give him whatever. Ah, Tim Tim Shea. He he lost thirty some pounds.
Yeah, so he just commented he wants to be known as Slim Tim from now on. Did he do it healthy or did he do just like a lot of cocaine? Um, I think cocaine. That's the fun way to do it. Yeah.
I would argue, you know. I mean, sure, there's a good chance maybe your heart will explode, but no, I'm good with the Ravens, 53. My diet right now is eat as many Hershey's cookies and cream candy bars in a morning as possible. I like that. I want to be known as Fat Fuck McGee Winkler.
Are you going to take the Saints or the Browns here? I want to be known as Shark Stinkler. I'm taking the. Am I going to go to? New Orleans and see the Packers lose to this fucking team.
Maybe I would take the Saints. Nah. Yeah.
No. Yeah.
No. Yeah.
No. We head out. We head out to Philadelphia, where I'll be. It's a big weekend. That's a big game in the Winkler household because for the first time ever, it's father versus son in fantasy football, and he's got Fannin and Judkins.
And by he, I mean I drafted him. Those guys. And in fantasy football this morning, I raced to every waiver wire to pick up Brandon Ayuk. Why? He's applied for reinstatement.
He wants to play again. He's nuttier than squirrel shit. There's no way that he's ever stepping foot on the football field again.
Well, he's on my roster in every league. No, you like you can't put him back on a field. All right, let's go out to Philadelphia where they blew up the Chicken Man in Philly last night. Slim Tim. All right.
I. By the way, yes, Slim Tim Shea. We got Joe Milton somehow starting the football game. Joe Milton, who is the Hendon Hooker of Teddy Bridgewater's, got a rocket for an arm, but the problem is he can't hit a fifteen-yard pass. The intermediate shit is shit.
I'm still taking the Eagles to cover the three and a half. I actually think they're going to beat the Giants. It's in Philly. Yeah, it's in Philly, and I'm not buying this JJ McCarthy Harbaugh Giants Scadaboo experience. I think there's going to be a couple fumbles in this game.
It's going to be a fluky game, but I haven't bet this yet. If I were to, it would be Eagles or pass though. Eagles three and a half for me. I'm gonna take the NYG. I'm a big JJM guy.
I love nine or in this case, eighteen. Nine, eighteen, yeah. Double up.
So he's twice as good. That's the thing. He's twice as good as he was in Minnesota. I hope he does well, because then it's another guy Kevin O'Connell sucks with. Yeah, yeah.
Wasn't he supposed to be a quarterback whisperer too, Kevin O'Connell? Dude, Kyler Murray, terrible though. Might be one of the worst. Like from expectation to performance, might be one of the worst disappointments in all of football history. And he keeps getting chances, and he should have played baseball.
And if he did. The A's would still be in Oakland, and we probably wouldn't be going on strike. Yeah, I like, but the Brewers wouldn't have won a World Series because we we would have never had that trade that got us Contreras because of Kyler Murray. Kyler Murray could have cost the Brewers. I hate Kyler Murray.
I'm stuck. I've been stuck with him in fantasy football for three consecutive seasons because I'm in a fucking dynasty league, and nobody will take him off my hands. He's short. He's stubby. He can't make the throws, and I really hope that Justin Jefferson decapitates him on national TV.
I'm gonna head out to Miami though, where the Dolphins are seven-point dogs, and I know that they covered last week, but they're not gonna cover this week because they're playing the Lions, and I think the Lions are going to take them to Pound Town. I think the Lions are gonna go undefeated until they see the Bears on Thanksgiving. Detroit at seven. Wait, why were we just talking about the Vikings? Oh, JJ McCarthy.
JJ McCarthy. I didn't want to spend any more time on Giants, Eagles. Did you? I did.
Okay, then what's your take? I'll do it on Winkler versus overtime. You really have a take on that game? No, I'm just stalling while I look up who the Lions play. The Lions play the Dolphins.
They're on the road in Miami, and everybody's gonna be like, "Oh, tough place to play," but. I don't know. I'm not going to bet that game, but if I were to, it would be Lions or pass. I think Gibbs is going to rush for like 500 yards. Do the 72 Dolphins realize the Patriots went undefeated?
I mean, they went undefeated. I know they won the Super Bowl, but they had five more wins than the Dolphins. They would have beat the living fuck out of that Dolphins team too. The Dolphins team is by far the worst team to ever win a championship. I mean, in all sports.
I loved that Patriots team. Even the they won the playoff games by like ten to nine in the rain. I wanted them to win that game against the Giants. I did too. I loved Randy Moss.
Even I wanted the Patriots to knock the Dolphins off. I even liked Randy Moss when he like went against us and Moon Dust, and we had to draft like fifteen corners.
Well, that was a despicable act. Despicable. That's when we should have known that we can't trust Buck. Are you Team Buck or Team Aikman? By the way, I'm Team Aikman.
Oh, I love them both. Um, but I'm Team Aikman. Me too. Nobody, nobody is more free in the booth. Troy Aikman, like Chris Collinsworth.
I still think Chris Collinsworth can tell you what happened in a play quicker and better than anybody else in those booths. I really like Chris. I do. I think some of these young guys, like I'm not going to fawn over Greg Olson. I'm not going to fawn over Tom Brady.
I'm not going to fawn over JJ Watt. I need you to put a good decade in there before I start to like trust you. And Troy Aikman, Troy Aikman, I know he's working for me. He's up in that booth. Bitching about the refs, bitching about shitty play.
He knows the game used to be better, and he's not going to hide it. I'm taking the Lions. All right, Lions cover the seven. Let's go to Kansas City. The Chiefs are ten point favorites.
I was really hoping this game didn't go to ten because now I have to bet it, and I have to take the Jets. The Jets are going to cover the ten. I just it's Mahomes, it's Reed. They're gonna win double-digit games. They might even win the fucking Super Bowl because Mahomes and Reid.
But I just ten points is too many. Jets are gonna cover. Might be a backdoor. Maybe they're in this game. Maybe it's fluky.
Maybe they win. But I love the Jets at ten. Not at nine. Not nine and a half. Not eight and a half.
Ten specifically. I am going to take the Jets to cover. They killed me last week though. Geno sucks because you know who really sucks is Harrison Butker. Both on the field and off, and he's going to be really upset.
He's bumming out this week because of the Blue Nami. I had a good one. I tweeted at somebody from WFAN, and I said, "Tougher day, Yankees loss or today?" Who'd you tweet at, Sean? Yeah, but then I but then I was like, I don't I don't want to be mean spirited. I thought it was like a really funny joke.
I forget that you can't you can't joke about things anymore. Though everybody's so angry about everything. I was angry watching Geno Smith. Dude could have had four plays to win me like three hundred dollars last week, and for whatever reason, he goes nope. Yolo ball.
Hail Mary gets picked off with sixteen seconds on the clock. He sucks. And I love Minakyams or you know like all the people like the the smart football people. But everybody needs to go back and acknowledge that they're like we're wrong about Geno Smith. He was never elite.
He's always been shit. He's one of the worst starting quarterbacks, not in league history, but that I've ever placed money on, and I'm going to do it again this week. Gino's terrible. He is terrible, and Aaron Glenn sucks too. He has he sucks.
He shouldn't even have been a defensive coordinator. Like those, what's crazy is those Lions' defenses weren't any good. It's like literally the reason that they lost at home to a rookie quarterback, and then he gets. A head coaching gig. Make that make sense.
I think the Jets need to. I think the Jets need to move. The Jets need to move. It's a it's a way. It's a waste.
Get them out of there. Move. Where are they going to move? Move to Bethesda. Who needs a football?
Who needs a football team? Mars. Yeah, move to move to Mars. I like that. Move to I don't know.
I'm so I'm so fucking tired of the. I don't like that New York's got two teams and all these fucking leagues. Get out of there. Move, move, move to LA. Get a third LA team.
Great point there in the chat that the Lions' success was mostly Ben Johnson. I was saying that, like, dude, like look at Philadelphia, right? Vic Fangio and Kellen Moore leave. The smart guys. The idiot sticks around.
Sirianni. What has happened since? Disaster. Disaster. Disaster.
Oregon. Dan Lanning. We all love Dan Lanning. He's so fucking inspirational. Oh yeah.
What happens when he loses his two genius coordinators? One guy's winning at Kentucky. Dan Lanning stinks. Dan Lanning is so overrated. Why doesn't no?
Why doesn't anybody talk about how over? You're the only one who's ever hyped them up in my life. Is you? No way, me. You love Dan Lanning.
I liked him, but I didn't. I didn't over hype him. I always said that what big. I've always made the same point. He's never won a big game.
De Boer, De Boer beat him. Everybody beats him. Ryan Day beat him. I know where I want the Jets to move. I know where I want them to move.
I take a bullet for Signetti. Where that pocket of the country that. Montana, Idaho, Wyoming. I want him to move. There's got to be a town on the border of like those three.
Have you ever been to Wyoming? No, I've never been. I only travel to go to NFL stadiums, so I'll never go to Wyoming. I I want to. I want to check it out.
I would never travel for an NFL game. I don't think. It's the best, dude. I only like football on TV. I only travel for concerts.
Which, actually, speaking of Kansas City, Goose was just there for two nights.
So maybe they get that goose bumping. Where's Goose playing here? Miller. Oh, yeah. You want some tickets?
I have to. I have to sell my one on the eighth. Miller High Life Theater, six, seventh, and eighth.
So Friday, Saturday, Sunday. I'm really pissed that I can't go, but. Duty calls, and I'm going to see him twice in Pittsburgh in two weeks, and then twice for Goosemuss in Atlantic City in December. And I've seen him like 60 times in the last year. Oh, what about the St.
Louis Jets? Are you taking the Jets to cover the 10 or the Chiefs? I'm talking about the Jets moving out of New York. There's no way in hell I'm taking them to win a football game or cover. Wow!
So Kansas City lay the ten. All right, let's move on because this game also sucks. I bet it though. I took the Commanders at five and a half. Looks like somebody else did today too.
They're now four and a half. I got a hot take. I think the Commanders beat the Rams on Sunday, and then after that, you know what happens, Bart? The Rams fall to four and five. You may think, what significance is that?
Well, another bet that I tweeted out and gave was Rams under eleven and a half wins. In what world with this schedule were they ever winning twelve games? I don't care that Aaron Donald was working out and then unretired. This team is so overrated. I'm not saying they don't make the playoffs.
I am. I bet it. I bet it. But yeah, so after they lose the the fighting Tobies on Sunday, they will then I will have a thousand dollars in my bank account. In my FanDuel account and in my DraftKings account combined, because the Rams will then have lost their fifth game.
So I'm going to take the Commanders. I don't know how they get it done, but they do. They beat the Rams on Sunday. When we were talking earlier about following these people, like why why do certain people get so much love in the media? That's what happened here.
I'm not talking to everyone. I understand that, but I am talking to certain people, and you don't even understand that I'm talking to you. But let me talk to you. Let me try anyway. If you're some, I'm look at the camera even, which is weird.
If you're somebody, I don't like it. If you're somebody that, what do you just look at? I just look at myself the whole time. I'm beautiful. You only like the Rams because on TV they like the Rams, and they only like the Rams because everybody like Peter Schrager wants to wake up next to Sean McVay.
It might be a sleepover. It might be nothing. It might be nothing like that. But he just wants to be in his space. Yes, Peter Schrager's gravity leads him towards McVay.
There's some sort of magnetic connection there. And everybody else on TV, for some reason, wants to be friends with Peter Schrager. It's the weirdest thing. Schrager, I call him. Everybody wants to be friends with his Good Morning Football crew, present or former.
Meanwhile, Kay Adams looks like she's going to be the next press secretary because she took a sharpie to her face, and we can't talk about it. I like the Commanders. Yeah.
Um, I didn't bet the money line. I did take the five and a half. I still like four and a half. Anything over three. Let's go to.
I like the Commanders so much. I might start calling them the Redskins again. That's what people out here in DC do. Yeah.
Nobody calls them the Commanders except for like the people on the radio that you know. Contract, they'd have to. Let's go to Indy, where your Cowboys are five and a half point favorites over the Colts. I didn't bet this. If I were to, I would take the Colts.
Your Cowboys suck. Whoa! Look at this comment from Treb. Goose is overrated. Just a new generation's Grateful Dead fish, and he names three of the best bands of all time.
So I'm not even gonna. I can't give that any time. Like, is he calling the Grateful Dead overrated too? Mdk wants to be friends with Julia Fellow. Who's that again?
I think she's on Channel Four. Julia Fellow. I'm gonna Google her. I'll give you the old horobot. Yeah.
Good taste. Looks like he got married at the historic Pabst. Looks like he's married to a. Looks like she's married to Tony Romo. I don't know, Jim.
Do you miss Romo at all? Yeah, now that I know he's a drunk, I kind of like want to go back and revisit the final season of Romo. Yeah, Romo. Um, hold on. Let's let's take a look at this happy couple here on the Dan Shani YouTube.
Goose fucks, by the way. Not overrated. The Rams are overrated. There we go. I don't feel I don't feel comfortable doing this.
I don't. Well, I just congratulations on their wedding. I'm not get out of here. All right, I like. I'm taking the Colts to cover five and a half because your Cowboys suck.
I have a voicemail that's not really related to the Cowboys, but kind of.
So I'm going to play it. Is it from Cowboy Jim? No, it's from. It's from voicemail leader David in Buffalo, and David in Buffalo called the Carl's Place voicemail line, and he left a follow. I think it's more about live golf actually, but I'm gonna play it.
Okay, you can leave a voicemail at four zero two nine one five Bart four zero two nine one five two two seven eight. Bart, what's going on? This is David from Buffalo. Um, gotta jump in here and talk about live. Live, man, all done.
Live was like the Dallas Cowboys every year, man. People kept saying how it was going to be a bigger, better tour, and how it was going to change the game of golf, and it changed it all right. I mean, probably for the worse with the money; these guys are going to get paid a lot more. The reality is, man, Live was like the U.S. Oh yeah.
By the way, Live Golf is done. Saw that. Yeah, that's what he's calling though. Did some good things, a little bit like the XFL too with certain things, but the end of the day, a lot of negatives going to come out of it. I can't wait for the thirty for thirty on it.
Greg Norman probably never thought he'd be on two ESPN thirty for thirties in his lifetime. But here's the thing, man, where do where do these guys all go? The Bryce and Deshanto storyline is going to be fascinating. A lot of these guys are probably going to play in Europe or overseas. And do any of these guys, like a John Rahm, do they get back on the PGA Tour sooner, or do they have to wait a while and come back a little later?
Going to be fascinating to see. But just like the Dallas Cowboys, man, like I said, you know the Cowboys, all the hype this year, all the talk. Just how livable is a few years ago, man. It all went up in flames.
So appreciate the time, dude, and I'll talk to you soon, man. Who's had a worse last five years? Live golf or Live Morgan? Live golf. Although all those guys that they made money.
Yeah, they made money. This is a tough week for me. Anybody that went to Blue Wave, and I lost Live Golf. You should have known. You should have known when Phil Mickelson was going to live exactly the type of type of character that they were.
Ben says more like die golf. Can't wrong. Bart, I don't know how you could grow up in the '90s like I did in Lake Dallas. They crushed our souls. We've lost one time to them since Obama was inaugurated the first time.
I think Dallas Cowboys have 18 years of doing shit against us. I'm taking the Colts to cover against them. In what world should they be six point favorites over anybody? The Dallas Cowboys to me are like Fear Street. Yeah, I was scared of it in the 90s.
What the fuck is Fear Street? It's the more adult version of Goosebumps. Come on, Horvat. R.L. Stein, you weren't a Steiniac.
You weren't an R.L. Steinbach. You weren't a Steinhoffs. I just got goosebumps. I didn't know there was an alternative.
And now they're your favorite band. Who? Goosebumps. Ah, they are. They are.
I'm also going to see Dave Matthews on Tuesday. In Baltimore, can I tell you a problem I have with bands? You're part of it. You're part of the problem. Don't care.
Go on. I was wearing my Death Cab sweatshirt. It's got the logo. It's a bird with a yarn. It's one of their cover albums.
Okay. Lady goes to me. Oh, that's my Halloween costume.
Okay. So already you like Death Cab way more than me. And I'm like, yeah, I've seen them a couple times around here. They're good. I've seen him 26 times.
Already have tickets to my 27th and my 28th. Yeah, I like her. You know what I do when when somebody's like, "Oh, I'm a big Grateful Dead fan" or "I'm a Dave fan," I say, "Name 500 songs." I count all my concerts. I'm a big snob like that too. When somebody's like, "Oh, this is my first Goo show," I'm like, "Fucking lame." Like, I probably name.
I'm like, I'm not doing. I'm not doing drugs by this guy. He's probably. How many Dave songs could I name right now? Dave's songs, I could probably.
I could probably go sixty. Yeah.
Yeah.
Sixty. Yeah.
Horvat's too quiet. What about now? Talk. Check. Check.
Check. All right. Sounds good to me.
Somebody said that Dave Matthews fans are total dweebs. No offense, Horvay. None taken. Actually, I don't really love the Dave crowd. It kind of like sucks these days.
So, no argument from me. I kind of just stay to myself at the concerts. Do like the I do like the Goose crowd. And Sturgill was awesome. Sturgill was probably the best show I've seen this year.
Johnny Blue Skies. I'm a big Morgan Wallen fan. I hope you're kidding me. Please tell me you're kidding me, dude. I just love taking double shots of whiskey too.
Is that him? No, it's Chabuzy. Chabuzy, yeah, yeah.
Someone pour me the double shots of whiskey. Are Are you taking your Cowboys against the Colts? This is our Colts. This is our team. We bleed blue.
Who's even left on that team? How are they only five and a half? That's how bad it's gotten for your Super Bowl pick, Cowboys. Oh, this is going to be a Dak's going to have five hundred yards. Pickens is going to go eight for a buck forty.
Lamb's going to go fifteen for two, and Ryan Flanoy is going to go five for fifty with two scores. Jake Ferguson will have three targets, no catches. Yeah, I like the Cowboys. Ferguson's up there too, and drops him Tucker Craft and. I'm gonna put a hundred dollars on the Cowboys.
So I've been chasing my Bucks five hundred bet. Last night I put twenty on the Bucks to win a hundred, and then when they went down twenty, I put another ten on them to win one fifty.
So I was looking like we was gonna win two fifty, and then I won zero. I think the Bucks and the Bulls are the worst product in the NBA. The only good thing for Chicago is Caleb Wilson's a stud. The rest of the team sucks. You guys have nothing.
Nothing. I don't know how I can explain this other than Miles Turner plays backwards. I feel like I would have to like you don't ever give up on your team, but I just don't know that I could cheer for a team whose go-to guy is Tyler Hero. Yeah, and then the last few minutes of the game last night, they funnel all the offense to fucking Kuzma. It isn't even like his game.
His game is fine. I just hate him. Anytime I see him, and he's wearing some like stupid shit, or they interview him, and he opens his, I'm like, I hate this guy. That's how I felt until he wore the laundry. I like.
Like, how did he not get his ass kicked like daily in at school? Because you know, you're you're you shoot. Forty percent in Greenfield. It reminds me. You ever see the Chappelle skit where Chappelle drops the kid off in the hood?
G G G unit. Get the fuck out the car. That's what that reminds me of. What do you got next, player? All right.
Yeah.
Let's keep this moving. Wait. You're taking the Cowboys, really? All right. I'm gonna go with.
We'll go to. I should say Los Angeles Chargers are five point. I almost said favorites. Wouldn't that be some shit? I have a Cowboys Mississippi Democratic Senator parlay.
I need to hit. Are you being serious? Yeah, it's five bucks to win a million gajillion. All right, the Chargers are five point dogs against Houston. Every single week, I take the Chargers.
Every single week, I contemplate jumping off a bridge. On Sunday, Justin Herbert. Here's the thing, all right. Harbaugh is so washed; he's got to go away. He's got to retire.
Mike McDaniel should never call a play in the National Football League ever again. Unless the Rock comes up with a new league or removes the fucking Canada, he should never be allowed near a football field ever again. I want to make the case for Justin Herbert. He's also bad. He's bad.
I was wrong about Justin Herbert. He's terrible. Jordan Love is better. The Chargers' defense stinks. The offensive line stinks.
But you know who else kind of stinks? The Texans. Who all the football nerds pick these guys to win the Super Bowl. Are they even going to make the playoffs? They're so bad.
Is CJ Stroud brain dead? Like at least three or four times every Sunday. The Chargers need to move back to San Diego. Otherwise, why are they in this league? Chargers, Chargers don't only cover the five; they win their first and maybe only game of the season.
Actually, they're going to be two and a half point favorites over the Ravens in a couple weeks. That's how bad it's getting for Baltimore. But I'm going to take the Chargers to cover one last time. Last dance with Mary Jane. Last dance with Justin Herbert.
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You know, you don't know how it feels to be me. I told my dad once in like eighth grade. I go, Dad, no song has ever spoke to me like this. He goes, You think you got it that bad, huh? Were you like, there's someone I used to see, she don't give a damn for me.
I like when my dad got randomly like. Like that, because one time I go, Dad, I wish I was a baby. I don't want to be. I don't want responsibility. He goes, You want to be a baby?
I'll put a diaper on you. Craw around the living room. See how long you like it. Yeah, like that was really weird. Like growing up, my dad was like that too.
Like I always like like everything. He was like all calm, and but every once in a while, I would just like say something that I thought was like harmless, and he would just like. I'd be like, "What the fuck? What happened to you, guy?" You know what my kid won't stop doing right now is, he's asking for play dates in front of me, other friend, another parent. Yeah, that's the best way to do it, though.
So no, we're really trying to get that out of him. But you can't say no with everybody. I know.
Well, yeah.
So he's smart.
Well, I know he's smart, but I don't want him to do that because then I have to say yes. Yeah, my buddies. I never did that. I never really wanted anybody to come over. I just wanted to go to other people's houses, especially if all he wants is kids.
Especially if they had Dunkaroos. Hmm. And we've kind of got the snack house too. We got kids popping in here all the time. Yeah.
See, like that. I could, like, you know. Looking at you, I could tell you're the snack house because you were showing me your gut a couple like twenty twenty five minutes ago. I'd want to go to your house too. I wouldn't want to be like eating fucking celery.
I thought Jesus, I didn't know what he was showing us there. It's not too bad. I mean, you know, I thought you were about the yeah. Anyway, let's show you my show you my Michael Penix. All right, so the Texans are five-point favorites.
I didn't take a pick. You know what's funny? Before I'm not picking. Before the season, the Chargers were two and a half point favorites in this game. Actually, I'm gonna pick.
I'm I'm gonna pick it. I just I hate the Texans. I don't like them either. They should move too. Where?
Dallas. Dumb Dallas, and they're a different Dallas. West Canyon, Texas. West Canyon, Texas. Balls against Kellen.
Balls against Stalen. Football is way alive. We spent way too much time on this game. These teams both. Who do you think would win, Varsity Blues?
Who do you think? Who do you think would win, Jason Street or John Moxley?
Well, Street's paralyzed. Obviously, I was going to say, is this Street with both legs, or Street that is an invalid? Who would win, the Friday Night Lights or Varsity Blues? If I, if I, if my season's on the line, no one I'm trusting more than fucking John Moxley. There's so many.
Okay, wait. I was gonna ask, do you get Lance Harbor or John Moxley? And is the point of the movie always that Mox was better, but he just didn't have the confidence? Think about that, and maybe like do a read real quick. I gotta take the worst piss of my life, and if I don't, my my bladder veins.
I will remind people that this is the last couple of days. If you're if you're a real diehard Winklerverse, so much diehard that you want to have a nice night out with Bart Winkler, the snack monster, and Slim Shay, Slim Shady. Oh, damn! I got a text. Oh, wow, Tim, Slim Shady.
That's the name. Anyway, Bucks Heat. The Heat won last night in overtime. I hate watch that game. They were down big.
I was happy, and then they came back. As the Clippers stink, but Bucks Heat coming up November eighteenth. That's a Wednesday. We're gonna be a poto. We're gonna have a table.
We're gonna have. We're gonna have drinks. We're gonna have food. You get whatever you want. I'll of course get the John Coon fullback platter.
Mmm, mama, mu mu, mama. Dive into that thing like it's a one-yard rush in Seattle and get stopped short. But you can sign up into the Winklerverse at gmail dot com. Just tell me who you are. Just send me an email into the Winklerverse at gmail dot com.
And one of you, along with a friend. A kid, well, it's Pato. A wife, a brother, whoever. You can do that.
So email us into the Winklerverse at gmail. Dot com. My apologies. No, don't, don't, don't apologize. I just came up with a name for Tim.
I'm calling him Tim Shade, more like Slim Shady. I like that. What's next? All right, so next we will go to. Did you take?
You took the Chargers. No, I don't like Houston, but I'm not going to take the Chargers. I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna keep thinking they lose. All right, let's go to San Francisco. What if they went zero to seventeen?
God, wouldn't that be crazy? Would that be a proper for people that are still mad about Michigan? Would that be a proper punishment for Harbaugh to then go to the pros? This was the year they were supposed to be Super Bowl favorites, or at least contenders. This third year, and then he goes winless.
Like, what happened to them, though? How are they this bad? Herbert and Mike McDaniel, I would argue too. All right, San Francisco is a ten-point favorite over the Raiders. The total in the game is fifty-one and a half.
It opened at forty-six and a half. I'm gonna take the Raiders. I'm not gonna take the Raiders. If I had to bet the game, like if you gave me a hundred dollars of free Poto Cash, I would use it on the Raiders. Niners might be the best team in the league, but ten points is a lot of points.
And I thought the Raiders were done, cooked. It was gonna be Fernando Mendoza time, and then they mess around and beat the Jets. Granted, it's the Jets, but I just I think this team still has too much fight. To lose by thirteen points, so Raiders covering ten. This is going to be a battle of the Kirks.
We're going to have a Kirk off. Kirk Cousins versus Christian Kirk. Yeah, Captain Kirk. Rest in peace, by the way. For Shatner's dead.
Ah, no. Um.
Oh, oh, no. He's no. Ah, the other guy died. Um.
Walter, whatever his name is, that's terrible. The guy that played, oh, the guy that played, you know, yeah, the bald guy, yeah, yeah. Leonard Nimoy. I wasn't a Star Trek guy, were you? Patrick Stewart.
Don't have Patrick Stewart, was it? He's ball. He's captain. He's not. He's captain.
What? Who is he? He's not captain McCord or some shit. What did he play? Patrick Stewart, captain.
Bock Picard. He was captain Picard. Oh, should know. Do you see that? Like now, they're like, oh, he had kind of like dementia at the end while acting.
On the Doomsday set, Doomsday. What's the new Avengers movie? Oh, more Avengers! Great. Oh, the world's gonna end.
No, wait, no, it's not. Here's the Avengers to save everybody for the fifteenth fucking time. Take that back, Ryan. I'll see it. I don't like how they're recasting Robert Downey Jr.
Now. They're not recasting Downey Jr. He's Doctor Doom. Yeah, but they didn't recast Iron Man. Yeah, right.
But what I'm saying is, like, they couldn't. It's kind of like you have leaves stalling lives. It's kind of like how John Cena leaves WWE, but because they desperately can't, they can't make stars. He has to come back like every other week. It's kind of like the Bulls.
Like every other game, it's Derrick Rose is at the United Center.
Well, no shit. What else does he have to do? And like, come on. We haven't had nice things since Derrick Rose. It's Derrick Rose night every night.
It is Derrick Rose night every night in Chicago. Holy shit, it is.
Well, yeah, he was an MVP, and dude, what if though? If he didn't get hurt, the only way they can make that product exciting is if you get his washed ass on the court and let him like hoist like five shots a game. Then I would actually watch the Bulls. But it's Derrick Rose night every single night. Oh, Derrick Rose is at the UC.
Well, no shit. So he's like the eighty-two Brewers, which I like now. It was Pippen for a while, but then we all found out how weird he is and his floozy wife that was banging like everybody in the league. She was banging the dude that's going to prison, Malik Beasley, throwing games. What is she banging Jordan's kid?
Yes, yes. Who got caught doing cocaine like fifteen times, like at lunch? Um, go back. I found it.
So I found one of them. We're Mike Malik Beasley. All right. So the Timberwolves are down nine. I want to say, and they're seven and a half point dogs.
Dude makes a free throw. There's three point two on the clock. He speed dribbles like he's oh yeah, that's the best ninety eight and lays it in to cover the spread. How are we all not like? Oh my god, that's the best one.
Yeah, dude, he just goes the length of the court to cut the lead from nine to seven. It reminded me of the YouTube video: Chris Paul hits a huge three to cut the lead to fifty-two. Ah. Anyway, let's go to the next game. Can I take a pick?
No, you never do. Raiders are ten-point dogs. Oh, Raiders. Yeah.
Good. Good. All right. I like Seattle to cover eight and a half against Arizona because Minshew's no good. I don't care that him and his dad are going to be like arm wrestling in the parking lot.
And Seattle, here's another hot take for you: Seattle's going to go on a run now because they bench that idiot or he's hurt, Darnold, and Drew Lock's a better quarterback. Prepare for the stupid Kanye Young Jeezy videos all Sunday. Drew Lock rapping like six years ago. He's going to throw for like three fifty and three touchdowns though. I am going to take.
Do it, Gardner Minshew versus Drew Lock. Minshew Mania, yeah. This is my lock of the week. As I'm going to lock myself in the bathroom, then I have to watch this fucking game. I'm going to take the Cardinals to cover.
I was like, yeah. Robert's comment got me. To be fair, doing coke with Pippins does sound like a good afternoon. The Patriots are three point. Oh, here, here we go.
Main event time. The Patriots are three point favorites. This opened at one and a half against the Green Bay Packers. The total in the game is forty five and a half. Before we get into this, let me share this audio.
Micah Parsons is talking here. Standing next to him is Mike Clemens, who is looking more like Larry McCarren by the day. I find that to be interesting. Here is Micah Parsons basically saying, "My injury is worse than I thought." The Packers a full lateral and medial medial meniscus repair. Including the ACL, so when people are walking at three weeks, I'm still not weight bearing.
So my quad is fully dead. I didn't get off crutches until seven, eight weeks.
So if you count that two months, I'm exactly where a nine month is supposed to be.
So that's why everyone's timelines are different. You know, I had a lot of damage done to my leg, and I think it's the Miracle that I'm even standing here today and opening up my window this early. Cause even then it was like, hey, I don't even know if he'll be back in November, you know.
So it's really just a testament to all the work that we put in and. And we're still climbing. We're still trying to get back to where we want to be. I I have a bad feeling that he's going to come back and get hurt again. I don't want him to come back this year.
And I don't either. Crazy and like we suck.
So and that's the thing, man. Right? Like, especially like every we need him healthy in January to watch playoff games on our couch. I shouldn't say I don't want him back this year. I just don't think he's going to be Micah Parsons this year.
I don't think he's going to be dog shit, but he's not going to be the same guy. It's probably going to take a year. And I hate when we talk ACLs or knee injuries, and people are like, "Will Holmes is playing?
Okay, he's a quarterback." Adrian Peterson he came back from a torn ACL and rushed for sixteen hundred yards. He was on steroids. In like everybody's injuries, everything's different. Like going back, I was talking about the Bulls. Remember, like Derrick Rose couldn't rush back from that ACL.
He was never the same player. Everybody doesn't just recover the same way, and so that's why I like Green Bay more next year, man. Like obviously, don't have a lot of draft picks in the early rounds because of Micah, but they gotta like fix up the offensive line because I think that next year is the year that they could go on a run. That said, though, that like. You know, last time they won a Super Bowl, I didn't think they had a shot.
I was like, "Oh, they'll be better next year and the year after." And Rogers got hot, so I'm not saying Jordan Love can't do the same thing, but that's why I like Detroit and Chicago more, and that's why I never was buying in. Remember in the summer when people were like, "Michael might be ready for the start of the season. He's working out." Like, he was supposed to be back by week five. Shut up! Is there a more worth other than Mike Clemens?
Is there a more worthless beat than the Packers? By the way, too. I don't think so. I mean, me either, man. Like, do we ever get anything?
We only get stuff from the national media, and then one of the Packers reporters like quote tweets it. Where were you on that one, dipshit? My sources are also telling me. I can confirm. Yeah, like, how is how are you getting beat on scoops by a guy that lives in Los Angeles when you are living 15 minutes away from Lambeau Field?
And you can't get the scoop. I've never been a beat reporter. I've never done that. I don't know how hard it would be.
Well, Clemens is good at it, right? Remember the draft where he was telling us about the guys that own horses? Devin Bush, the Packers, the Packers. That's he's just a natural storyteller. I could listen to Clemens reports all day long, especially now that I don't have to put him in the system.
Bood says I would see. I would like to see Micah in Gannon's defense. Totally, I would like to see my face in some cannons. Jesus Christ! Anyway, I am going to pick the game now, and I hate to do it.
I don't feel good about this trip. I think there is a reason why this went from one and a half to three. Packers. Yeah, I think the Patriots beat us by a field goal, at least. It's Tom Brady's return to Foxborough.
I'm getting kind of sick of betting against. I don't want to like, I don't want to cheer against them. Not to be 14 again, but I really like New England, and I'm tempted to bet them. But I don't want to spend my Sunday cheering. Like my weekend is planned, my whole life.
Saturday night, Notre Dame loses that game, you may never see me again. Then Sunday, I want to enjoy my football team, but I don't like this spot. And Drake May, ever since he was crying week two, looks great. And Bart, do you think Mike Vrabel gets the boost that his sidepiece Diana Rossini is making a return back to the media? She's going to get a job before we do.
Where is she going to work? You think Barstool? Barstool said no.
Okay, who else do you think she does like her own thing? Like um. A lot of people do this. I'm not trying to rip it. I think Substack.
I think Craig Carton wants her on the team. Where's he at now? He has a new show every other week. That bomb. The fan.
I think WFAN. She's not really a radio host, though. Doesn't matter. No, she's TV still. All internet's TV now.
Fox. They don't have high standards. Clay Travis is on my TV every other Saturday making shitty picks, both politics and sports.
Well, but Tennessee. He better pay Tim Miller that money too. By the way. I I just I I think that the Patriots have like figured some some things out, and I like New England to win. What's the line again?
You do too. Three. Why though? Cause I the Packers suck. Yeah, you're there too, still, right?
Yeah.
Like, I think the secondary is good. Oh, though they lost. They lost. They beat. They beat Carolina at home in prime time.
Oh, never mind. Yeah, I just like. That's one of the worst run defenses in the league. Josh Jacobs. This has nothing.
They don't suck. They don't suck. They don't suck. They don't. They don't suck.
But they're a nine-win team. They're going to win nine games. Yeah, I don't care how it happens. They're going to win nine games. And a nine-win team that's five and three right now.
Right? Are they five and three? Five and three. Yeah.
New England.
Okay. A nine-win team then loses on the road to New England. Yeah.
I hope I'm. I hope I'm wrong. I just. I don't like the spot. And I, I think this one could get ugly.
Not ugly, but yeah, I think they lose by a touchdown. I just gonna probably have to bust out the drive to stay entertained. The drive, playthedrive dot com. Playthedrive dot com. They don't suck, but they're.
I would argue like one of the more frustrating teams in the league for me. You don't want to draw this card if you're watching a Chiefs game because Harrison Butker sucks. He sucks. Like the problem with the offense, man, is it's it's literally Jordan Love Yolo ball or nothing. They don't.
They're incapable of running a play that's going to net them twelve yards.
So I feel like Vrabel is going to be like, "Hey, Jordan Love, play hero ball all game, throw a bunch of fucking prayers," and I don't think it's going to end really well. And I think they're going to get pressure.
So. Yeah, I don't like the spot. I hope I'm wrong, but I still don't think we're a very good team. I do think we will be next year when Micah's back to being Micah if we can fix the offensive line. Until this offensive line gets fixed.
I just tired to trust them against good teams, especially on the road. All right, next game Sunday night, Chicago. Holy cow, six and a half point favorites over Tampa. I'm going to bet this right now, forty-seven and a half. The look ahead was three and a half.
Chicago looks really good in prime time, and now all of a sudden there are. Tampa's won two straight games where Baker Mayfield's completed two passes, so I'm going to take Tampa. It's in Tampa. Yeah, it's in Chicago. Maybe we get to seven though.
I don't know if I should wait on this. I like Tampa here. Tampa might win. Yeah, I like Tampa to still win the division. I I still believe in Baker.
They're plus two forty on the money line. I take Tampa. I love Tampa in this spot. Everybody's gonna bet the Bears. Everybody.
Yeah, and and their mother. How about Baker Mayfield zero for two and they win. Zero for three. I must correct. Three.
And the week before that, he only completed a couple passes too. This is this is Baker Mayfield we're talking about. You know, you know, in Carolina they had him as a scout team defense. All right, next game, Minnesota at home, three and a half point favorites against the Bills.
So here is the thing: I don't think Minnesota is good. I think they're frauds. I think they missed the playoffs. But I love this bet. I love them at three and a half.
Over Buffalo. Buffalo played like shit last week, but they won and covered, and it looks great because Lamar died on the first play, and they were going against Joey Finiano, and the Ravens defense completely gave up in the second half because the offense couldn't sustain drives, and they were like, "All right, we're tired." I think Minnesota, especially after that shitty week, Justin Jefferson going crazy on the sidelines, Kyler looks like a midget. I think they might win this game outright.
So getting three and a half, tough place to play. Brian Flores' defense against Josh Allen, they're going to get some pressure. I think they'll force a couple turnovers. I like Minnesota at three and a half. Love Minnesota at three and a half.
I am going to take the Bills. Of course, you are. What does that mean?
Well, aren't you a you're a Bills fan? Correct. That's your AFC team. I like Bills. I like the Bills, and I like the Jags.
The Jags, yeah.
Okay, I didn't know that. I wouldn't like if the Packers went away. I wouldn't. I wouldn't root for a team. I would.
I wouldn't root for a team. I just root for Lamar and the Packers and Rogers. I just cheer for players. I like Lamar. I like Burrow.
I like Rogers, and then I like Mike. I just root for the product not to be fucking terrible, and I'm I'm losing every week. See, I I root for the refs. I like when they I like when they get involved. I think this is a pretty good crop of games this weekend.
Yeah, college is going to blow it out of the water again, though. Green Bay, New England, huge game. Have there been any weekends this year where the NFL was better than the college? See, you keep saying that you're all in on college. Has been rough for me too this year.
There's not a good team, and the quarterbacks are all shit, especially the ones that we thought were going to be good. Dante Moore's hurt, and he wasn't good before he got hurt. Arch is no good. He's got to go back to school. I like CJ Carr.
We'll find out how good he is against Miami this week. I think Trinidad's good. I can enjoy it more because I I don't get like I get stressed out during NFL games. You don't get stressed out watching Luke Fickle get beat by thirty to by Iowa.
Well, no, I just don't watch that game. I go trick or treating instead. You watch the good games. Did you like my edge costume? I did.
I was I was surprised that you got the pants. I did get the pants.
Now, were those actual like what kind of pants were those? I typed in on Google "red and black wrestler tights," and those were available for fifteen dollars. I thought I'd be paying like eighty. And then the jacket, the Edge jacket I bought, was only like twenty bucks too. I thought that was going to be a hundred.
I would probably wear those pants even when it's not Halloween. No. Um, they're really tight.
So if you're more endowed than I am, Jesus, I just I put those pants on. I'm as smooth as a Ken doll, like G Ray with the third leg. No, I'm B Art with the invert fucking dart. That's what I am. All right.
So those are our bets, and. Notre Dame, and LSU, and Texas A and M plus seven and a half, and ECU on Friday night. ECU, yeah, Eastern. They're going to beat South Florida outright. And I'm going to bet Ole Miss at three and a half against Georgia.
I think Ole Miss beats Georgia. I like that bet. Yeah, yeah. I like Trinidad. I like the Trinidad bet.
Yeah, I mean, like Ole Miss's defense hasn't been very good, which is kind of surprising because that's their head coach's calling card. But Gunner Stockton has been rough for Georgia.
Well, Winkler verse—it's been a good week. We got back. We got frames yesterday. We came up with a new nickname for Tim. We got Horvat.
We had Carlos. We had some Bucks post games. You got a Super Bowl or a Super Bowl? You got a World Series? Still talking World Series.
We will be back on Sunday for our post game show presented by First and Bull. Firstandbull dot com. Ten percent off. Oh, hold on. We got promo code Bart.
What? Carson Wentz is going to start Week Nine for who? For the Vikings. Kyler Murray is week to week with a hamstring strain. Carson, does that change your thing?
Ah, no, I kind of feel better about the Vikings. Isn't it funny the point spread hasn't moved? That's how bad Kyler sucks.
Now I like the Vikings more now with wins. I am still gonna take the Bills. Kyler is terrible. I thought they were going to go move on from Kyler in week two already. When did he even get hurt?
Is this a fake injury because he was bad? Isn't Call of Duty out this week? It's it's I don't know no. Maybe he got a pre order. Maybe maybe he's testing.
Maybe maybe wow. That's or I mean Grand Theft Auto. That's interesting though. I've never played GTA, but. It looks fucking cool.
Those commercials got me hooked. Game rules. I'm excited. Yeah.
All right. All right. All right. All right. Be safe this weekend.
Icon says get fucked up. Uh, you know that song? Yep, I did. I do. That was always my one buddy's away message.
He only had one away message ever, and was always Icon says get fucked up. I like it. Fucked up. Get fucked up. Get fucked up.
Get fucked up. I knew you. I knew you knew it somehow. All right. Thanks for stopping into the Stinklerverse.
