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In That Moment of Desperation

Hope for the Caregiver / Peter Rosenberger
The Truth Network Radio
October 11, 2022 3:30 am

In That Moment of Desperation

Hope for the Caregiver / Peter Rosenberger

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October 11, 2022 3:30 am

From our 10-8-2022 broadcast

In our fast-paced life, we are often tempted to make hurried decisions. For caregivers, the speed and pressure intensify - and the decision-making suffers.

A listener shared his plight, frustration, and actions he considered while caring for his ailing mother. 

Have you ever grasped at straws while desperately trying to deal with the challenges of caregiving?

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As caregivers, we have so many things that hit us all the time, and we can't always nail these things down by ourselves. Who helps you?

What does that look like? I'm Peter Rosenberg, and I want to tell you about a program I've been a part of now for almost 10 years, and that's Legal Shield. For less than $30 a month, I have access to a full law firm that can handle all kinds of things.

If I get a contract put in front of me, if I got a dispute with something, doesn't matter. I've got a full law firm that can help me navigate through all the sticky wickets that we as caregivers have to deal with. Power of attorney, medical power of attorney, I will.

Every bit of it. As a caregiver, we need someone who advocates for us, and that's why I use Legal Shield. So go to caregiverlegal.com. Look on the left-hand side where it says Legal Shield. Just select it.

It turns purple. It says, pick a plan. It'll give you some options.

If you don't need any of those, don't select them. Check out and be protected starting today. That's caregiverlegal.com. Welcome to Hope for the Caregiver here on American Family Radio.

This is Peter Rosenberg, and this is the program for you as a family caregiver. How are you doing? How are you holding up? What's going on with you? More than 65 million Americans right now are struggling with this issue. Maybe you're brand new to the program and you're thinking, are you sure I need to be in a place for caregivers?

Well, let me ask you something. Are you taking care of somebody with Alzheimer's? Are you taking care of an aging parent? Do you have a special needs child? Do you have an alcoholic or an addict in your life?

Do you have somebody who is mentally ill in your orbit that you are engaged with on a regular basis, caring for, looking after, whatever? All of these things, and so many more, create a caregiving environment. And we find ourselves in this world, sometimes slowly, sometimes drastically, sometimes by choice.

But when we get here, do we know how to function in it? I posted on social media the other day, when did you realize that you were a caregiver? And I couldn't resist when I started getting more than six Christmas cards from doctor's offices that I knew at that point that I was a caregiver. And I did a whole bit on that many years ago with Jeff Foxworthy on, you might be a caregiver if you have a carpet cleaning company on retainer, you're probably a caregiver. So a lot of people finding themselves in this, and how do you function?

How do you deal with this? What are the issues? On this program, we go after so many different issues, all couched in biblical understanding, but being appropriated in our day-to-day life as a caregiver. Some of the issues we're going to go after are going to be strong doctrinal theological type issues, because that anchors our soul.

Some of it's going to be just day-to-day stuff. For example, I was talking to a guy this week, a listener to the program, brand new, and he's taking care of his mother with Alzheimer's. He is in his early 50s.

She's in her late 70s. His finances are running dry. He's lost his job. He's struggling with all these things. And the on-ramp to the conversation with me was that he reached out and said, okay, where are some experimental things or some medicines, or what have you heard about that can reverse Alzheimer's stuff?

I've seen some ads and so forth, and I cautioned him heavily against following those kinds of things and going down that particular rabbit hole, because there are a lot of people that are going to prey on people that are desperate, and there's snake oil being invented every day. And I'm not doubting the legitimacy of things that slow the process down, but to my best knowledge, they haven't found a cure for Alzheimer's. And even if they do, he's still got other problems. One of them is he doesn't have a job and the financial cost of taking care of his aging mother without Alzheimer's can still be great. So the real problem in this case is not necessarily a cure for Alzheimer's, which may or may not be out there. The real problem is he is not in a good financial situation. He's not in a good physical situation.

He doesn't have a job and he doesn't have a lot of resources. So what do you do? And I asked him about his job prospects and he said, well, he's driving for Uber and other things to try to make some money when he can. And I said, well, one of the things I've learned, and let me just preamble this, I don't give out an enormous amount of advice on this show. This is not an advice column or advice show, okay? I am just sharing my own experiences.

And I have found that there's not one thing that's going to change everything. It's a series of things, at least in my life. You know, I remember that story of Steve Harvey talking about this guy. He was getting to buy the lottery ticket and the lottery was up to like $370 million or something like that. Just an insane amount of money. And a guy was in front of him at the line buying his ticket saying, man, I really need this.

I really need this. And he said, who do you owe that you need to have $370 million? What kind of trouble are you in? I thought that's, you know, well said. We sometimes think, okay, if I could just get this, but it's not, that's not how this works for the most part.

Now, sometimes it may happen and God bless those folks, but that is not where most of us live. The vast majority of us, it's incremental steps. So what I recommended him to do, and again, I give advice haltingly, but I said, how about going through your monthly budget and cutting out as many things as you possibly can. And I said, even if you find $200 a month, you could hire somebody once a week, maybe twice a week to come in and help bathe your mother, a private person that you could just hire to come in and do this. If you found $200 a month. And I said, as far as your job situation, I understand it's tough and you may not be able to find that job that's going to allow you to do what you do. You may have to have a couple of side hustles.

You know, you may be driving a car and doing ride share with Uber or Lyft or something, but that you may also be able to be able to work from home for people part-time and take on certain projects. I don't think there's just one thing. This is what I've learned in my 36 years. There's not just one thing. And I've had to build an entire life working around Gracie and stopping and starting at a moment's notice, but stay in productive. And it's, you have to have a little bit of innovation and creativity and don't just look for this one big thing.

Keep making these small incremental steps. And you know, how is that inconsistent with scripture? Well, it's not. Thy word is a lamp unto my feet. He doesn't give us the whole search light here. He gives us just the next step. The steps of a righteous man are ordered by the Lord. And so sometimes we're just stepping out in faith. Okay, I'm going to do this, but if he could find, you know, a couple of hundred bucks a month in his budget, that would provide some care for us.

And then I pointed him to some things, some resources I have on my website that people can sign up for. And you can organize your life a little bit better. All these things work together towards something. It's not waiting around and saying, okay, well, Lord, I just need $370 million in the lotto.

I mean, it doesn't work that way. As a caregiver in life, it's do the next right thing. And what's the next right thing? Well, simplify your life. His mother has Alzheimer's. She's not eminently terminal. So this could go on for five, six more years.

What kind of shape is he going to be in then? Or you or me? So what can you do today?

I'm not talking about next week. I'm talking about today, right now, that can simplify your life. One of the things we talked about, he and I talked about, what about your cable bill? Do you need cable?

Is there anything good on? Do you need cable? You know, Gracie and I got rid of cable. We have apps. Everything we do is apps. We have smart TV and apps, and we are very selective of what we watch.

Gracie likes to watch the Discovery Channel. So I have the Discovery app. It's a lot cheaper than cable bills. Look at your phone bill. Do you have things that you're paying for on there that you just don't need? Also, there are things that you can divert money. And I said, don't spend money.

See if you can cut money and then divert that into things that you really need. For example, on my phone, I have an app on my phone. I pay for it every month. It's like four or five dollars. But it tracks all my miles and allows me to categorize them by medical, business, or whatever, so that when I do my taxes, I've got a report of mileage. But you know, medical trips for mileage, that adds up. Going to the pharmacy, going to the hospital, going to the doctor's office, those things add up.

That's a good use of five dollars a month, roughly. And so those are little things that we can do to start streamlining and simplifying our life to make sure that we're maximizing to the best we have. Simplify, simplify, downsize, downsize. What do you really need? What do you really have to have? The simpler your life, the less you have to take care of, the better you're going to be able to serve as a caregiver.

Okay? It's just basic economics. Reduce, cut, tighten up, and allocate resources better. And the number one resource to allocate is you. You are the best physical resource your loved one has. And so if you're stretched so thin, doing all these ancillary things, how are you going to be able to function as a caregiver in that crisis, in that crucible, in that pressure cooker? Okay?

Simplify, cut, reduce, reallocate, all of those things and more. We'll talk about that some more, but I wanted to open up with that. This is Peter Rosenberger. This is Hope for the Caregiver. We'll be right back. I'm going to circle back to what I talked about in the last block with this fellow I was talking to who's taking care of his mother.

He's in his 50s now, and financially it's very difficult, and he threw out the subject of taking on some of these multi-level marketing opportunities that he sees on the internet and so forth that you can do. And if you will bear with me for a minute, I would very much like to address that issue for us as caregivers. As you can imagine, as somebody who has his own radio program out in the public eye, has a platform, and has the ability and desire to communicate to people, I've been hit on by so many multi-level companies over the years. They see me coming from a mile away and they want to latch on and say, oh, you need to do this.

You need to do this. And I have succumbed to some of that. Sometimes just out of desperation to do something different, to make a little bit extra money because things are tight or whatever.

And I thought, okay, I can do this. And they're pretty good at this. And they have wholesale techniques to loop people in, particularly people who are feeling the pinch of desperation. Who feels the pinch of desperation at times more than caregivers?

But we do. Have you ever felt that way? Have you ever felt like, I can't go to my job, I have to quit my job, or I have to take a lesser job.

I can't pursue the kind of career I want to pursue because of my caregiving responsibilities. And it causes you to feel this angst and squeeze that you're frustrated. There are companies out there that recognize that sort of thing and have a script prepared for you on that. And I'm asking you to be a little more careful.

Don't just take these things. I don't disagree that some people can do very well in multi-level marketing things and so forth. Mostly it's the people that start it. And then they make a bunch of money off of people who they enlist in it. And then they keep promising them with that carrot in front of them, but they never really quite get to that level.

Some of them do, but a lot of these types of organizations are going to be dead ends. You'll start off with a lot of zeal. You'll spend a little bit of money.

You'll start talking to all your friends and family about this sort of thing. And it becomes uncomfortable. There have been one or two that I have seen and actually one that I participate in that actually does what it says it's going to do. And the litmus test for me is, do I use this product all the time? Have I seen success in it in my life that is tangible to me as a caregiver that I would even want to tell somebody about it? And there's only one in all the years I've been doing this.

There's only one that does that for me. That's the kind of scrutiny that I place on them. And I look at my life as a caregiver.

What do I need every day? And I look at this program, for example, with advertisers and so forth for the podcast and other things that I do. Do I want to represent a company or product that has no relationship to the family caregiver? For example, pizza.

We all like pizza. But how is that part of my mission and my message, which is to strengthen the family caregiver? Well, it's not.

So therefore that's out. Well, I'm asking you in your life, your mission, your message, don't grasp at things. There are people that want to hook you into this stuff. And if you ever feel like you are pressured to join some type of multi-level marketing organization or have this kind of product or whatever, always feel free to go out to my website and send me a message and ask me what I think. I may be wrong, but it never hurts to have somebody who is objective to give you some thoughts on it. You could always post it on our Facebook group if you want and let the Facebook community there at Hope for the Caregiver on our group page.

It's a private page that I'm the only administrator for. And ask the group what they think, but get somebody else's opinion besides the person trying to recruit you or sell you on this stuff. Okay. It can be a real trap for us and frustrate us. And again, there are companies out there that prey on desperation.

They got this thing down cold. And I'm not telling you that they're not going to work. I'm not telling you that it's necessarily a bad product or bad whatever. Does it meet your needs? Does it fit with what you are trying to accomplish?

What are you trying to accomplish? I believe that as caregivers, we have to have multiple side things going on. They call them side hustles.

You've got to be hustling all the time. And you have to be extremely creative on how you're going to make a living while you serve as a caregiver. And you can't go and be a surgeon and work 50, 60, 70 hours a week and serve as a family caregiver easily.

Okay. Because you're going to have to stop at a moment's notice sometimes, particularly when you have chronic impairments going on. You can't do certain jobs. You're not going to be able to be an astronaut necessarily and be a full-time caregiver. So you're limited on your career opportunities.

We get that. But that doesn't mean you're limited on your potential of what you can do. It just requires a little creativity. And always go back to scripture.

And if you get confused, and if you're looking at something and you're thinking, I just, I don't know. You know where a good place to start? The book of Proverbs. If you want to get an MBA in God's wisdom, go to the book of Proverbs.

Read one that corresponds to that day of the month, for example, and just do it every month. Just read it and read it in multiple translations, because what it does is it helps you understand economics. It helps you understand relationships. It understands devious behavior in people, all kinds of things that it'll point out. And it gives you God's insights in this.

You know, scripture says that, thy word is a lamp unto my feet. He doesn't give us the whole path laid out. It's just the next step or two that we can see.

That's all we can see. But that's all we need to see if we're trusting in Him. And you never make good decisions when you're doing it out of desperation and panic and fear. Calm yourself down. Get someone else to help calm you down. Have a conversation with somebody who's been there.

Find somebody that you can trust that, you know, may give you some objective insights. I'm all for entrepreneurial things. And there are some multi-level marketing things out there that really work for people. They really work.

Whether they'll work for you or not in your situation as a caregiver, I don't know. But I promise you this, if you do it out of desperation, out of panic, out of fear, you're setting yourself up for a more challenging time. And I'm not saying that you're going to set yourself up for failure, but you're going to make success a whole lot harder if you're doing it out of fear and desperation. Do your due diligence. Really research this and ask yourself some hard questions. Do I really feel comfortable promoting or talking about this product or this service to people I meet on the street, to family and friends, whatever? Do I really feel comfortable with this?

And if not, why not? And ask those hard questions. It may be the absolute best fit for you, but do it out of a sense of strategic thinking, not fear. Do it out of a sense of purpose and mission, not panic.

And so that's the decision I make. Every couple of months, I have somebody wanting to recruit me into something like this. And I evaluate them. I give them a fair shake. A lot of times I'll say, okay, you guys provide all this stuff for me for free and we'll talk about it on my podcast or I'll do this, but I let them invest in me at that point.

And that's usually when they go across the wayside because they really want me to purchase from them. And I'm like, no, you're coming to me. You see my audience, you see who I am.

And no, I'm not, you put up. 99 out of a hundred disappear within about two conversations. The others I do my due diligence with and I spend the time with, but I just, I am amazed. I can almost script out what they're going to say to me. And they've got the next best thing. And this will really help Gracie.

This will really help you. And don't you want your loved one to be this? You ever heard any of that stuff? I'm not saying they're wrong, but make sure you're doing that of strategic thinking before you agree to any of this stuff, before you spend one dime on it, go back and pray about it, spend time in Proverbs about it, look through scripture, get some insight. Why are you doing this? What are your goals? What are you hoping to accomplish?

All of the above. And then if you feel like it's the right call, pull the trigger, let's go. But if not, if you have any hesitation, ask yourself, why, why are you hesitating on this? And be willing to wait for the answer. Be willing to spend some time thinking about it. Okay. Thank you for your indulgence on this. If this means nothing to you, just disregard this part of the program, but I have a feeling that a lot of you are struggling in this area, and I just wanted to touch on it to the best of my abilities. If you want to follow up, please go out to HopeForTheCaregiver.com and send me a comment or question, whatever you have. This is Peter Rosberger.

We'll be right back. As caregivers, we have so many things that hit us all the time, and we can't always nail these things down by ourselves. Who helps you?

What does that look like? I'm Peter Rosberger, and I want to tell you about a program I've been a part of now for almost 10 years, and that's Legal Shield. For less than $30 a month, I have access to a full law firm that can handle all kinds of things. If I get a contract put in front of me, if I got a dispute with something, doesn't matter. I've got a full law firm that can help me navigate through all the sticky wickets that we as caregivers have to deal with, power of attorney, medical power of attorney. I will.

Every bit of it. As a caregiver, we need someone who advocates for us, and that's why I use Legal Shield. So go to caregiverlegal.com. Look on the left-hand side where it says Legal Shield. Just select it.

It turns purple. It says pick a plan. It'll give you some options.

If you don't need any of those, don't select them. Check out and be protected starting today. That's caregiverlegal.com. I want to build upon what we talked about in the last block, about not making decisions out of panic and out of fear, but out of a place of strategic thinking. This is a trap for all of us as caregivers because we are desperate at any given point.

We're living with just unbearable circumstances, and anything that promises even an iota of relief, we often grasp it. I'm saying we. I do that. I don't know if you do that or not. You tell me. Is that something you struggle with?

Because if I'm in the wrong ballpark, let me know. I'm just speaking for myself, but this has been the temptation for me. This has been the struggle for me. It's just like, okay, maybe if I do this, then okay, this will feel better. Or if I do this, then this will help.

Or okay, yeah, this guy's promising this, and he's got this great product or service, or he's saying that these particular vitamin pills will help. And if I'm the only one, please let me know at hopeforthecaregiver.com. Just go out there. Just send me a message. Hey, Peter, you're the only one. Shut up. But if I'm not the only one, indulge me for a moment, because I think this is a problem for us as caregivers in that we are often finding ourselves making decisions out of desperation.

And that is no way to run a railroad. And in light of that, if you'll bear with me, I want to tell you a story. Well over 30 years ago, Gracie was struggling with the reality of what had happened to her lower limbs. Both of her legs took the brunt of this terrible wreck in 83. So here we are back in 1990 and 91, and she's tried so many different surgeries to save that right leg in particular, which for all intents and purposes was amputated at the time of the wreck, but they were able to graft it back on. And her surgeon said, we've done everything possible to save this leg, and all that's left is amputation.

When you're ready, we'll have that conversation. Everybody in Gracie's life, including me, I'm embarrassed to say, had an opinion about this. And Gracie understandably was struggling mightily during this time. And she was trying to be respectful of everyone else that wanted a way in, which was very gracious of her, but unnecessary because really it had only to do with her and I guess by extension me, but mostly just her.

There was two ladies that came up to, we didn't really know them that well, but they felt the need to jump into our lives. And they told Gracie that she was in rebellion if she went ahead with this amputation. And they prophesied, can you see the air quotes that I'm using on that?

Prophesied in air quotes, can you see that? They prophesied that God would heal her leg in June, and this was in February. Okay, so they're taking this 25 year old woman, who is struggling with one of the hardest decisions anybody could have to make, and they're telling her that you are in rebellion to God if you do this, and He's going to heal you in June.

The surgery was going to be scheduled for March, this was in February. Well imagine how that made her feel. At the time, I wasn't adept at dealing with that name and claimant crowd. And bad theology creates confusion, and it can often lead to shame and guilt and no small amount of resentment. Appropriately responding to people who spiritually bludgeoned the suffering, because that's what they're doing.

Well to appropriately respond to them, it takes a lot of practice time, and quite frankly it takes sound theology. But I was naive in inexperience, and it left Gracie and me to flounder a bit while we were searching for solid footing, so to speak. And the clamor of all the opinions and the pronouncements from the prophesying folks, combined with our self-doubts and our fears, and it created a wall of noise. It felt like a stack of Marshall lamps at a Van Halen concert, if you can picture that.

Now that doesn't sound very spiritual, but some of you got to know what that means. And Gracie found herself sadly in a storm of speculation by family and friends. Again, she was 25 with a toddler, and her young heart was heavy under the awful dread of having to look her surgeon in the eye and instruct him to amputate her right leg.

She set an appointment with our pastor at the time. His name was Bob, and she limped into his office on her mangled right foot. She had a cane that her dad made for her, a cedar cane. We still have that cane today. It's a little shorter.

All right, let me explain. When she became a double amputee, she wanted to be taller, so she's taller than she was beforehand. So the cane was too short, but we kept it just for sentimental reasons. She also wanted a size seven foot so she could get a better selection of shoes. That's a separate story.

All right, just leave that alone. But she limped in his office. Her left leg was carried the brunt of her damaged right leg, but she made it in there. She sat quietly there in his study, and he looked over at her and he said, Gracie... Now she told me all this later. I wasn't there. Gracie, he looked over and he said, Gracie, this room is off limits to every other voice telling you what to do.

He went on to say, my job is to help quieten the noise so that you can hear your heart and God's leading. And Gracie sat there for more than an hour while Pastor Bob sat at his desk. No words passed between them.

They just sat there quietly for an hour. Finally, she looked up at him with tear filled eyes and she said, I'm terrified of doing this, she whispered. Gaining strength she continued, but I can't live this way any longer.

It's got to come off. Nodding very somberly, he assured Gracie he'd be with her through the ordeal and he kept his word. In fact, just before she went into surgery, we were all praying in the room and they were left to go down the hall. And the last person to speak to her before she went through those doors into surgery was Bob. And he rushed to her gurney. Sorry, I get a little choked up when I think about it. And I remember seeing this and he rushed and he whispered something in her ear and she just nodded. Big tears went down her cheek. And she said, I never asked her what it was that he said. That's between the two of them.

And then she went into surgery. Sometimes the greatest gift that we can give to those who struggle with brutal decisions is to clear the room, quiet the noise, and just sit with them. Scripture affirms that while God's explanations are rare, he doesn't feel this compelling need to explain himself. He's God all by himself. His explanations may be rare, but his presence is constant. And I think about that with Pastor Bob. You know, he allowed Gracie the stillness and time to be alone with her thoughts. But God goes even further than that.

He assures us that even in our lonely thoughts and our lonely hearts, he's always with us. More than a hundred years ago, a guy that you may have never heard of, his name was Pastor Cleland McAfee. And he was rocked by the death of both of his nieces, his brothers, little girls. They died within one week of his other.

I mean, the same week, same time, basically, of diphtheria. And he had to preach that Sunday, and this little community was absolutely rocked over this. And he struggled to come up with a sermon. And as he was doing this, he started writing out a lyric. And he wrote this hymn that has become one of the most beloved hymns in the world. And that Saturday evening, before the service, that next morning, they went over to his brother's house and the choir of the church gathered outside on the lawn. They sang this hymn on my CD, Songs for the Caregiver. I put this song on there first because I love it so much.

I'm going to play it for just a little bit here. There is a place of quiet rest near to the heart of God. A place where sin cannot molest near to the heart of God. And then the church choir, you know, they sang this to this man and his family after losing both of their daughters. And then Reverend McAfee got up and preached the next Sunday morning, thinking of his brother and his sister-in-law, the terrible loss that they had. And this hymn has gone on to become one of the most beloved hymns in the entire world. And maybe it's important to you. Maybe you have special memories of this hymn. I know that I do. And I love this hymn.

And I love to play it when my heart is heavy. And sometimes we have to simply quiet in the room so that we can think, so that we can just sit, so we can just be still. How many of you understand that?

How many of you understand that sin can molest? How many of you understand how deafening the noise can be from everyone else's opinion, from everyone else telling you what you should do or what you should buy or what you should think or how you should be being a caregiver, how you should be doing all these things? And it just forms a wall of noise.

And you can't even hear yourself think. That's why I love this hymn. And that's why I appreciate so much what that pastor did for Gracie. He helped clear the room. Maybe you and I together can help each other clear the room and just quiet the noise so that we can hear not only our own thoughts, but hear God's leading and that assurance that He provides to us in the midst of these terrible things that we have to bear, calming our spirits down. I'm going to tell you the rest of the story when we come back. This is Peter Rosenberg and this is Hope for the Caregiver.

We'll be right back. Welcome back to Hope for the Caregiver. This is Peter Rosenberg. That is Gracie and our friend Scatte Springs. Scatte passed away last year. Just an amazing singer. And I wrote that song with a friend of mine. His name is Hank Martin.

He's been on this program before. And Gracie and Scatte just did an amazing job on this. I'll never forget it. And Gracie, that's on her CD, Resilient. Go out to Hopeforthecaregiver.com and look under our Music tab.

You'll see how to get that CD. It's a powerful performance that the two of them gave. And Scatte was just one of the best session singers in Nashville and had his own group. And his daughter's an amazing singer. He was just a wonderful, wonderful man. Loved the Lord. And that song is Heaven's Not the Reason. Heaven's not the reason I fall down on my knees. Streets of gold cannot compare to what Jesus did for me. A million angels singing can outshine Calvary. Jesus is all the heaven I need. And I based that, when I wrote that song, I based that on two things.

One of them is I got kind of tired of people always talking about winning people to Christ so they could go to heaven. And to me, that seemed a little bit like fire insurance. You know, it seemed a little bit disingenuous.

And I thought, is that it? And I go back to, scripturally, look at what Thomas did when Jesus revealed himself to Thomas. Now remember, Thomas was not there with the disciples when Jesus appeared after his resurrection to the disciples. You remember, Thomas was missing. And he said, I'm not going to believe this until I touch his side, touch his hands with my own eyes.

I want to see this. And everybody, I think, unfairly calls him doubting Thomas. But I can't say that I wouldn't be just like him. So I think it's a little bit unfair to call him doubting Thomas. But regardless, what did Thomas say when Jesus did appear to him? And you go to John chapter 20, and that passage there is, I think it's 24 through 29. And when he did see the nail prints, when he did see the wound on his side, Thomas said, my Lord and my God. He didn't talk about heaven. He didn't talk about all the streets of gold and big mansion on the hilltop.

He just saw Jesus and said, my Lord and my God. And that's why I wrote that song. Heaven's not the reason I fall down on my knees, because I was thinking, imagining, if you will, like Thomas must've felt and tried to imagine that.

So anyway, that's, if you like the song, it's out there on Gracie's CD and you can, I think you may be able to download that at Amazon and some other places, but for sure, you can get the CD if you want it. Let me go back to what we were talking about in the last segment here. I kind of left you a little bit on a cliffhanger with quiet in the room. I mean, that's this, this concept I've been thinking about for some time.

And I wanted to tell you what happened after that. You know, our pastor, Bob modeled what that hymn affirms in there is a place of quiet rest. You know, that fear, that guilt and shame and confusion that just molests us. That's what sin does. Sin molests you.

And he modeled that there is a place of quiet rest near to the heart of God where sin cannot molest regardless of the poor theology on display by those two women who said that Gracie was in rebellion if she went ahead with the surgery. Rebellion isn't scheduling surgery to remove a limb that's beyond repair. Rebellion demands that it plays out according to my wishes and rejects God's provision. That's what rebellion is. It will happen my way.

It's my way. And Gracie chose to go a different path. And she later stated, I didn't know what was on the other side of that operating room door, but I knew who was.

Where do you think that confidence came from? I believe that resolve, that confidence came in no small part to that time where she said quietly near to the heart of God. And she repeated that same scenario four years later. Bob had already gone on, but Gracie went through this process four years later when she relinquished her remaining leg. And I watched the nurses push her from recovery to the ICU. They always put Gracie in ICU following any kind of major surgery, just simply because it's so difficult to manage her postoperatively.

She has just so many challenges. And so they send her straight to ICU. Nowadays, after an amputation, they send you home that day. No, I'm just kidding.

It doesn't work that way. But I watched the nurses pushing her from recovery to the ICU. She woke up in recovery, then they made sure she was stable. Then they came through the doors and I was there when they brought her through those doors. And she's lying on the gurney, still somewhat anesthetized, but her hands were lifted up.

She's laying there flat on her back. One leg is healed. I mean, it's been amputated for four years.

The other one had a new fresh bandage and tubes and so forth on it. And her hands were lifted in the air and she was singing the doxology. You know, praise God from whom all blessings flow.

It's extraordinary picture, isn't it? As believers, our responsibility and our privilege is to help quieten the room for others who bear terrible challenges and heartaches. It's in those quiet places, near the heart of God, that we gain the strength and the resolve to trust Him with the anguish while praising Him in the unimaginable. That picture of Gracie singing the doxology, praise God from whom all blessings flow. Praise Him all creatures here below. Praise Him above ye heavenly host. Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.

Now, what do you suppose equipped Gracie to sing that after becoming a double amputee? What do you suppose could give her that presence of mind when she's halfway sedated? You see, our spirit recognizes these things. Our bodies may be undergoing terrible things.

There's all kinds of stuff swirling around us in this world. There was a lot of noise and confusion, chaos and recovery. There's beeps and everything else going on and all kinds of machines and people talking and people moaning and screaming. They're bringing out the door. Those doors slam open in the hospital quarters. You can even imagine that, can't you, how it sounds when hospital doors open up. And in all that confusion and all of that clamor and all of that going on with a freshly amputated limb, she raises her hands and sings the doxology.

It's been one of the most remarkable things I've ever witnessed in my life. And it's a testament to what we're talking about here today on this program right now, that there is a place of quiet rest near to the heart of God, a place where sin cannot molest even if it's on a gurney with a freshly amputated leg. Do you hear me? As a caregiver, there is a place of quiet rest for you and me. No matter what is going on around us, do you understand this? Can you receive this?

Can you hang on to this from one caregiver to another? I am 37 years into this now. And I'm telling you, there is a place of quiet rest near to the heart of God, a place where sin cannot molest near to the heart of God. A pastor friend of mine once told me, he said, Peter, you need to take a Sabbath rest.

And I looked at him, I said, I don't know what that means. I don't get a day off. I get hours off. I can go out and ride a horse sometimes, I can get on a snowmobile, but I don't get a day off.

I either am working on my business or taking care of Gracie, both of which are full-time jobs. Oh, by the way, I do music down at the church and then I'm writing all the time, but I have discovered what rest looks like to me. You know, rest is not sleep, but I may have to do a whole program on this, but rest is not sleep. I know a lot of people get a lot of sleep, but they're not at rest. You and I as caregivers must, in order to endure this, learn to rest.

How do we do that? Well, we are a flurry of activities. How do we do that while we are a flurry of activities? For me, I have found that the more I focus on these things that you and I are talking about today, it literally strengthens me. It equips me. It animates me. It pushes me to an energy level that I didn't know I had. Yes, I get tired.

I get physically tired and I have to stop, take a break and just be quiet for a moment, but when I do that, if I can go and practice this principle, quieten the room and allow my brain and my spirit and my heart and my body all to reboot, if you will, thinking on these things of God, then what Gracie did on the gurney, singing his praises, is also available to me. And it's also available to you. This is why I do this program.

Because these things are what strengthen us and equip us. Yes, we'll talk about caregiving things on this program, tips and dealing with all this stuff. We'll do that. But that's not what keeps me talking with the ceiling fan looking at night. That's not what keeps me agitated.

That's not what causes that fear and that dread. And in those moments I have to quieten the room and be still knowing that there is a place of quiet rest near to the heart of God. Thank you so much for your time today. This is hope for the caregiver. Hope for the caregivers that conviction that we can live calmer, healthier, and dare I say it, even more joyful lives while serving as a caregiver. I'm Peter Rosenberger. Go out to hopeforthecaregiver.com. Send me a note. I'd love to hear from you. We'll see you next time.
Whisper: medium.en / 2022-12-19 19:10:09 / 2022-12-19 19:27:45 / 18

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