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November 16, 2021 3:00 am
A listener to my program recently wrote me about drama with her family.
"My family lives out of state but complains I am not taking care of my 96-year-old mom, who lives alone by choice. While I help her, she will not authorize a power of attorney for health care. She has no significant medical problems, yet my family is ridiculously harsh towards me and accuses me of things, not my responsibility or have not done. What do you recommend? - Exasperated in Texas
Petersburg this is your caregiver minute Lister wrote to me that her family was giving her all kinds of grief over the care of their 96-year-old mom who lives alone by choice Lister said while I helper she will not authorize a power of attorney for healthcare. She went on to say she has no significant medical issues.
But my family is ridiculously harsh towards me and accuses me of things not my responsibility. Things I haven't done what you recommend.
Well, this is a common problem with a lot of families.
The dynamic start to deteriorate in high stress situations when you have a vulnerable member. There's a lot of different contributing factors but I gave her a couple questions you might want to think about number one does any agreement about the division of responsibilities exist in the family.
Number two. What type of solutions does the family offer number three was she aware of efforts on their part to accomplish any of the task like power of attorney or staffing and told us of these seem to be important questions to answer until your family helps provide solutions.
It appears that your family considers you the solution while also feeling free to criticize you for not fulfilling their expectations but I added at the end before stewing in resentment.
It's best to get clarification as to expectations and responsibilities. And if you don't feel comfortable doing this yourself, please seek help from an experienced social worker, clergy, attorney or other object party is a great quote from George Bernard Shaw that addresses this very issue.
He said the single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it is taken place.
Talk to one another. This is been your caregiver minute with Peter Rosenberger brought to you by standing with hope. A ministry for the wounded and those who care for them. There's more information that standing with hope.com