My Hardest Challenge As a Caregiver

American Family Radio, this is Hope the caregiver.

This is Peter Rosenberger. This is the show for you as a family caregiver. This is the nation's number one program for those who are caring for an impaired loved one, somebody who is dealing with aging issues, disease, affliction, addiction, whatever the impairment, there's always a caregiver and we're glad to have you with us. 888-589-8840.

888-589-8840. Proverbs 3, 5 through 6. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding and all your ways. Acknowledge him and he shall direct your paths. You know why that is in scripture?

Because we lean on our own understanding. So we're going to talk about that today. We'll take your calls. We've got a specific thing we're going to deal with, but as always, I want to extend to you the freedom that if you've got something that is pressing on your heart, we'll bring our conversation to a halt and deal with whatever you're dealing with as a family caregiver. If you're not a caregiver, that's okay. You're going to get something out of this show, but this show is specifically designed for the family caregiver. We want to give that vocabulary so caregivers can understand what help looks like to them and hopefully infuse them with the courage to be able to ask for that help and receive that help. And if you're not a caregiver, we want to give you the vocabulary of what it looks like to help a caregiver and how we can communicate with those who are caring for loved ones. Sometimes in the absence of knowing what to say when we just don't have the words, we'll often say something glib or don't say anything at all to people who are suffering.

And I think that there's a better way for us to be able to encourage people, strengthen people, minister to people, and care for them. If you want to be a part of the show, by the way, it's 888-589-8840. 888-589-8840. And I'm going to go to the caregiver keyboard and start off with our opening hymn this morning that I wanted to talk about. I'm just going to play the chorus. This is almost too easy, but I'm just going to play the chorus. This is a hymn that you may know. And if you do, feel free to give us a call.

888-589-8840. But here's the chorus. Do you know that hymn? I love that hymn.

That's a wonderful hymn written by a Methodist. And so we are going to talk about that and what that message means today. And if you want to be a part of this, 888-589-8840.

888-589-8840. And we're glad to have you with us on this. It's been kind of an interesting couple of weeks. Last week, of course, was Labor Day. But two weeks ago, Sunday night, my wife had an event. She was coming into the house, and her prosthetic foot caught a match. She actually was going in a doorway that she doesn't normally go in. But she was parked right there by it.

When it took her purse into the house, I turned my back around for just a moment, and she had caught that mat, which I am now taking to the dump and disposing of it and sending it into outer darkness. And she didn't know it. And her prosthetic left foot, the toe was underneath that, and she didn't know it. And she was moving her right foot, and it was pinned. And she put her right foot down and evidently pinned it under the mat. And she twisted and lost her balance and fell. And as her body twisted, her prosthetic leg did not. And she broke her femur. Pretty nasty break, a spiral break, got her.

And it was just one of those things. It was a very, very traumatic event. And got the paramedics here. We live way up in the mountains, so it was a little bit of a grind for her to have to hang tough until they got here. And they took her down there, X Raider, and recognized that it was significant. And this is a little community hospital, so they airlifted her to Billings, Montana, where she is still there. And she was able to get surgery to fix this thing.

And it was one of those moments where the hymn today really comes into play. And you look at this, you think, how much more does this woman got to go through in her life? And as she went into surgery, I watched them wheel her down there, and it was that I could carry first surgery. And that's just too much, isn't it?

It's just too much. And she did well. The surgery went well. They've done a good job at caring for her and giving all the complications. And this is the first time she was with this team.

Most of her surgeries, in fact, all of her surgeries have been in Nashville when we lived there. But this is the first time with this new group of individuals, and they did a great job. Caring for her post-operatively is always a challenge, and they've done a great job. So it's one of those things where you look at this and you think, OK, I've done this before, and how much should I push on this to try to bring everybody up to speed? As a caregiver, you know, I want to make sure they have all the patient history, but I don't want to be—I've done this before, and I freely admit it, and I'm not happy about it, but I cringe at things where I have unduly influenced people who are providing care to Gracie because I have such a longevity with her, and I know her stuff, and I can communicate it pretty well. I've been called Dr. Rosenberger many times. I tell them I'm board-certified in cranial proctology, and they don't quite pay attention to that, but that's OK.

It's funny to me. And I am—you know, so I try to be very careful to not overstep and to let it play out how it needs to, but not let her just be kind of struggling along and make sure they had all the information. And so it's been a journey this week. This is her first major surgery in some time, so it's been a little bit of a journey for both of us, and she's done well, and there have been a lot of folks that are praying at the AFR family and around the country, and I do appreciate that very much. Her spirits are pretty good. It was traumatic, and it certainly is inconvenient for her. That's the bad news. If there's any good news to this, it's that it's not life-altering for her in the sense that she will recover, and she will be able to resume her normal life once this heals, and then we look forward to hopefully getting her rested up, to being able to go to Denver for this big back surgery in the not-too-distant future.

So that is going to be life changing. This is what's been going on with us, and it's been, needless to say, challenging, but this hymn comes into play, and the text of this, and so I thought we'd start off with this one today, is to, you know, to kind of give ourselves that orientation as caregivers. Okay, well, how do we navigate through these things?

How do we walk through this? And I think this hymn speaks to us today on that very topic. Hope for the caregiver. Hopeforthecaregiver.com, 888-589-8840. We'll be right back. Welcome back to Hope for the Caregiver here on American Family Radio. This is Peter Rosenberger.

This is the show for you as a family caregiver, and we are glad that you're with us, 888-589-8840. You know our hymn for today. I just played the chorus.

This is... If you know that, if you know that hymn, and I just wanted to stay on the chorus, even though the verses are great. I'll give you the first verse.

Come, every soul, by sin oppressed. There's mercy with the Lord, and He will surely give you rest by trusting in His Word. But it's the chorus that I want you to hang on to through today of when we get in these situations where we really don't know which way to go. And I want to circle back to what I've been dealing with this last two weeks with this thing with Gracie and her fall and this broken leg of hers. And, you know, when a double amputee breaks a leg, and I was, you know, it's always a lot easier for her if she breaks the lower part of her leg as opposed to the part where she still has bone. The prosthesis are easy to put back together.

We, you know, use a hammer and a pair of pliers. But when you have a big break like she's had, it becomes very challenging for her on a lot of levels. I mean, you know, she can't just, you can't just kind of use a pair of crutches and kind of get back on with your life with the cast and that kind of thing.

I mean, you know, she has two prosthetic legs. And so it's a little bit more challenging to transfer and everything else that's involved. So, but as I've walked through this, and I want to circle back to what we talked about in the opening block. A reporter once asked me, they interviewed me for their show, and they said, what is the hardest thing you've faced as a caregiver? Hardest thing you've ever faced as a caregiver. Now, you think about those, you know, the show and know me and know Gracie's story.

I mean, this has been going on now for a long, long time. I mean, Reagan was president when I started taking care of her. You know, you look at 81 surgeries, you look at well over 100 doctors in 13 or 14 hospitals now and millions upon millions of dollars in different insurance companies, like seven of them. And a woman who lives with intractable pain on many days, she's always living with pain, but sometimes it gets to the point where she can't get out of it. I mean, she can't even get some relief to be, you know, it's very, very difficult when you have a chronic pain person in your life like that. You don't know what to do sometimes. And so they asked me, you know, what is the hardest thing for you as a caregiver?

And I responded instantaneously because it is always in my mind, is ever present in my mind of what is mine and what is not mine to carry. You know, and, and I, I, I blur that line way too many times. And I, and I think that I look at people out there who do radio programs and TV programs for various topics and so forth. And, you know, they got money issues that they deal with or whatever, you know, they deal with. It's like, they've, they've, that, that chapter in their life where it was difficult for them is over.

They become very successful and now they want to teach everybody else how to do it. Well, this chapter for me as a caregiver is not over. This is, this 35 year journey of mine continues. And, and so I'm, I'm in the throws of it just like everyone here listening to this program. And I struggle with the same things that everybody else struggles with.

They are consistent with, with every caregiver. And one of those things that I struggled with mightily, and I think that from what I've talked to a lot of my fellow caregivers feel the same way, is that we, we don't know where to land. What is, what is mine?

What is mine? How much should I push? How much should I lay back?

We're, we're, we're solid ground in this. And, and I found myself again in this same position as I looked at, you know, another or several others in a long line of mass medical providers standing there before we go into surgery and the ER and everything else, you know, and sometimes, and not just the mask as a COVID, just because that's where we are. And I'm thinking, okay, what is too much? What is not enough? What is, you know, when am I hovering and becoming a pain in the rear? When am I not pushing enough?

You know, and, and, and all the kinds of things that go into being a caregiver. And, and with Gracie, you know, when am I doing too much where I'm, I'm not there enough, or I'm there too much, or, you know, there, there's all that confusion that goes on with you. And it's very, very difficult to know where solid ground is. And I think this is where you go back to scripture. That's why I started off with Proverbs three, five through six, trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. And I think too many times as a caregiver, I've leaned on my own understanding and it's gotten me into a lot of cringe-worthy and very, very regretful situations because it made sense to me at the time. And sometimes I have to lay back and let the process play out and trust that God is working through these medical providers and, and nurses and everyone else involved, that they're going to see this with fresh eyes, that maybe in ways that I don't. There's a new thing now that goes on in the way healthcare is managed in a lot of bigger hospitals and it's care by committee, I call it. And you've got care teams that come in and that sounds really great until you try to figure out who's in charge and you want to have that dialogue with whoever's in charge.

So it's, there, there are a lot of things that go on in treating our loved ones that can be very unsettling to us as caregivers. And when we get unsettled, I don't know about you, but let me just say, when I get unsettled, I try to lock it down and try to get out in front of this thing and make sure everybody is stepping up to their mark. That's exhausting, by the way. You ever try that?

You ever try to manage a whole lot of people when it's not even your job to do it and you're not getting paid to do it? It's exhausting. So I, I struggled for these last couple of weeks with this. It brings back a lot of, a lot of memories.

I mean, I sit in a hospital room and the sights and the smells and, you know, everything else that when you walk into a hospital, you know, it's just, it's, there's so many of these things that I have in my, my history with Gracie. And I thought, am I going to just be still and know that he is God? Am I going to do as this hymn says that we played today, which I'm not going to give away the title. Am I going to trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean none on my own understanding?

And if so, what does that look like? And one of the things it looked like was when I was talking to the surgeon and the anesthesiologist, particularly the anesthesiologist, uh, pre-op, I did not use the word need or should or anything of that, that nature. It's very helpful. I have a lot of information about Gracie. It'd be very helpful, these doctors, but what I used very carefully was my own vocabulary of speaking in first person. And I would say in my experience with her, this is what I witnessed.

This might be helpful to you as you make determinations. In my experience, when I was with her, this is what happened. And I saw this and this is something that might be helpful to you as you, you know, whatever. And, and I was very, very guarded in that. And I don't like playing verbal gymnastics, but I've noticed it as a character.

I can come on extremely strong. If I am doing this out of a sense of panic or, um, whatever fear, you know, go back to what every caregiver deals with fear, obligation, and guilt. And when, when I don't share information that is helpful in a way that they can digest and then turn it into whatever decisions they need to do, then sometimes bad things really happen with Gracie. I know I've been there to clean it up, but when I do share things, I want to be sure to share them in a way that is not overpowering that they just dismiss me, um, or that I get up in that I get up in their business. And it's a very fine line to walk. You ever struggled with that in caring for your loved one, where you, how much is too much to share and how do you share this? And so I just, I don't know, I'm just kind of rambling about that a little bit, but it's been a, an illuminating week for me to once again, find myself in this position.

Um, I was hoping that Gracie would, you know, not have any more events like this, but such is the case. And, and so I, I go back to what this hymn says and I'm not going to give it away. You're going to call me and tell me.

That's the, that's the message for us as caregivers. Is he sovereign or not? Is he Lord or not? Does my wife have a savior or not?

Am I that savior? Not. I can answer that.

So once you, once you understand where the core question is, then you don't get pulled into the weeds of the craziness of, you know, oh my goodness, what do I got to do here? What about this? What about this?

What about this? The core question is Gracie has a savior. I'm not that savior. I have responsibilities in this. I have, I'm the repository of her medical chart. I'm the sole repository of that.

Um, when she's not able to communicate it, even if she was able to communicate it at times, there are things that she doesn't remember. And so that's, that's been my journey this, uh, this last couple of weeks. And we're going to take your calls when we come back. 888-589-8840, 888-589-8840. Hope for the caregiver. We'll be right back. Welcome back to Hope for the Caregiver here on American Family Radio.

This is Peter Rosenberger. This is the show for you as a family caregiver. And we're glad that you're with us.

888-589-8840, 888-589-8840. We're going to go to the phone lines. And by the way, somebody's going to get the song probably before other people waiting to tell me what the song is, but that's okay. Tell me why this song is meaningful to you. Tell me what this means to you. And we're going to talk about that because the point is not just to guess the name of the song.

The point is to talk about why is it important to us. But first let's go to Wynette in Texas. Good morning, Wynette. How are you feeling? I'm feeling wonderful this morning. How are you? You know, for a man of my limited abilities and age, I think I'm doing okay. I've got some age on me, too.

I've got the big 7-3 coming up next month. Oh, mercy. Yeah. Anyway, I think this song you're playing, I can't think of the name of it, but the words, I think, go, only trust him, only trust him. And at the last it goes, he will save you now. Well, that's it. That's it.

Only trust him. I love that. It's very simple. Beautiful. I love all the songs you play. I really do.

Beautiful. Well, I'm glad to hear that because these songs mean something to us. And I think that when we get into situations where it is so nuts, and I'm sitting there, in my case two weeks ago, I'm on the ground holding my wife as she is just in agony, just screaming in pain. And you know, you can't think of the last sermon you necessarily heard.

Sometimes all you can think of is these hymns. Only trust him. I agree.

Only trust him. I agree. And that's it. There's too much information hitting your brain. And so you have to anchor yourself in some kind of reality.

And these hymns just have this way of doing it. And so that's why I do this for you and my fellow caregivers. Now tell me, tell me who you cared for or caring for. I cared for my mom. She just passed away, April 27th.

I was telling your, the answer on the phone, if she had lived to be the, if she had made it till August 29, she would have been a hundred years old. She almost made it. Well, well, she has made it. She has made it.

How about that? I told her, Jesus is the best caregiver there is. So we know that he's taking care of her now. The last part of her life, she really didn't know me. She didn't know my sister. She didn't know my daughter that would come, but she still knew Jesus. She never, never failed to remember Jesus. So to me, that's just, that's amazing right there. Just like you say, the songs come to mind when nothing else might come, but, but you can remember that. And that's what she did. So.

You know, and I saw that with my, with my uncle who recently passed away, my mother's brother and uh, mom had sent over a video, uh, and he didn't know most of what was going on, but the off camera, somebody was playing on the guitar, Amazing Grace, and he was singing along with it. And it's, it is truly astonishing the power of this, of this music and, and these simple things that, that they get into our soul and even disease can't, can't erase them. It cannot conquer it. That's for sure.

Not when you have that in your heart. It's just amazing. There is a song I'd like to request sometime if you're, uh, Certainly.

busy. I didn't mean to say if you're not busy, but there's a song that hardly anybody sings and it, to me, it's very beautiful. And I don't even know the name of it, but it starts with the, starts with a chorus called, No one ever cared for me like Jesus. Oh, I love that.

No one, no, no one ever cared for me like Jesus. Something like that. Yes. I love that song. It's just beautiful.

We will like the original caregiver song to me, you know, it's wonderful. That may be indeed what it is. It seems like it was written just for that purpose. That's it. Oh yes. That's glorious. That's beautiful.

Yes. You already know it. I'm not, I'm not, I'm cheating. I'm looking at, I'm looking at the hymnal. Oh, that's okay.

You still know how to read the music. That's great. That's it. Yeah. I don't even know how the verse goes, but it's, it is fabulous. It really is. I got to get my glasses out because I think I missed a, I think I missed a chord on that, so I got to get my glasses out on that one.

I don't think you missed anything. But that's a beautiful song, Lynette. And I thank you for reminding us of that because I think that that is the caregiver song. No one ever cared for me like Jesus. And when we sing this hymn, only trust him, only trust him, only trust him. Now he will save you. He will save you.

He will save you. Now, when I wrote my book, hope for the caregiver, I put a dedication at the front to Solus Christus. Solus Christus is one of the five pillars of the reformation.

One of the solas of solas. And, um, it says to Solus Christus, to Christ alone, the ultimate caregiver of a wounded bride. And so I look at, I take great comfort of that knowing that as I take care of my bride with wounds, he takes care of his bride and that's us.

His wounded bride. And so, uh, these are things that are very meaningful to me as I, as I walk through this with Gracie and hang on to it. And, um, I thank you for, for reminding me of that great hymn this morning, Lynette. I do appreciate that very much. And thanks for calling. I appreciate your ministry.

My sister listens to it too. She and I both cared for our mother before she passed away. And, uh, I, when I was born, I had a big hole in the middle of my heart, about the size of a dime, which sounds tiny, but to a little, a little thing, it's a big hole. And she cared for me all those years, her and my dad. And I was blessed that I, God put me right where I needed to be with people that could take care of me. You know, it couldn't get insurance on a little sick, sick, sick, scrawny baby. So it was up to them to come up with funds to get my surgery and everything. So my mom was real special to me and I miss her, but, um, I wouldn't bring her back if, cause she didn't have to go to a nursing home.

My sister and I were able to take care of her at home. That was important to all of us. So I praise God for that. And I thank you and Gracie for your ministry. Well, thank you very, very much.

Well, this, this is a very meaningful call. And now when I play this song, uh, then I'm gonna think of you and I'm thinking your family with this, cause this is a beautiful song and thank you for attaching your name to that memory for me every time I play it. So thank you for that. I really do appreciate that.

And I'm gonna, um, I'm gonna go to Ann in Mississippi. How are you feeling, Ann? I'm feeling a lot better since I talked to you, uh, since I talked to you probably, I don't know, a year and a half ago, maybe I was going through a lot of grief after losing my husband and going, dealing with guilt and all that sort of thing. And you really helped me when I called in that day.

I'm very moved to hear that. Refresh me on what's going on with your husband. Well, uh, he had Parkinson's and, uh, later on dementia and he was at home with, with me, you know, for several years, but then it just kind of progressed and I started, um, I'll just be transparent, just having trouble dealing, handling him. And, um, you know, I was snappy and just ill and not very patient.

And my daughters would say that and it would, it would hurt them and, and it would hurt him. And I emailed you later about it. Um, I do remember you do remember and you, you know, and I think, and first off, I understand that you are being transparent with that and you're doing it, but, but what you're sharing is, is common to all of us as caregivers. I mean, this is, this is not something that is, that is, uh, that you are the sole guilty party of doing, you know, um, and, and, and you are a human being and you will make mistakes on this thing.

And you did. And, and the question is, can we make amends for them? Can we get back into this? Can we, can we, you know, change through this process? And, and everything in scripture tells me that we can and we are, and we do. And, and, and so the, the, the bad news is we're going to, we're going to mess this up.

The good news is he doesn't. And, and that, that is the good news. And so that's where we go always go back. And that's why I spend so much time on this with, on this program is to help folks understand where the real battle is fought. The real battle is not fought in taking care of somebody with dementia or any other affliction. The real battle is fought with ourselves because we, like I said, at the opening blocks, you know, I struggled with knowing where my place was with these docs and everything else with this thing, with Gracie and all these things. And, and the battle was not of how to call 911 and how to get her to there and how to give medical information, all that kind of stuff. That's not, that's not hard for me, but what's very hard is knowing my place in this and, and how to hang on to Christ in this. When you're, when you've got a loved one that is just screaming in pain, how do you, how do you stay focused? And, and when your husband was going through all the things he was going through, it's, it's hard.

You, you, you, you don't know where solid ground is. And did you ever feel that way that you were just, you were just floundering and drowning? Oh yes, I did.

I did. And he eventually wound up going into assisted living and, uh, my girls arranged that and, uh, I felt guilty about that. You know, you're, you know, when you take your vows for better, for worse through sickness and health, and here I am, you know, I felt sort of like I was deserting him, even though I went over there several times a week and, and took care of all the things he needed. You still struggle with guilt. You know, guilt is, is one of the biggest issues that we as caregivers deal with. And it's not guilt over great sins that get great press. You know, it's guilt over, am I going to the nursing home enough? Am I guilt over, did I, should I have put them there in the first place?

Those kinds of things. And if you don't mind, Grace, I'd like for you to hold on to the break. I'd like to continue this conversation just a little bit longer. I mean, not Grace, uh, and, um, I'd like for you to just hang on with me if you don't mind.

Uh, would that be okay? I will. All right. Thank you. We've got to go to a break.

We'll be right back. This is Hope for the caregiver. This is Peter Rosenberger. This is the show for you as a family caregiver. Only trust him.

Hey, this is Peter Rosenberger. Have you ever helped somebody walk for the first time? I've had that privilege many times through our organization Standing with Hope. When my wife Gracie gave up both of her legs following this horrible wreck that she had as a teenager, and she tried to save them for years and it just wouldn't work out. And finally she relinquished them and thought, wow, this is it. I mean, I don't have any legs anymore.

What can God do with that? And then she had this vision for using prosthetic limbs as a means of sharing the gospel to put legs on her fellow amputees. And that's what we've been doing now since 2005 with Standing with Hope. We work in the West African country of Ghana, and you can be a part of that through supplies, through supporting team members, through supporting the work that we're doing over there.

You could designate a limb. There's all kinds of ways that you could be a part of giving the gift that keeps on walking at standingwithhope.com. Would you take a moment to go out to standingwithhope.com and see how you can give.

They go walking and leaping and praising God. You can be a part of that at standingwithhope.com. Welcome back to Hope for the Caregiver. This is Peter Rosenberger. This is the show for you as a family caregiver. And he does know the plans that he has for you. We're talking with Ann in Mississippi.

I'm talking about the guilt she struggled with taking care of her husband with Parkinson's and later with dementia. And that's one of the reasons I put this hymn into play today of only trust him. Proverbs 3, 5 through 6, trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding and all your ways acknowledge him and he shall direct your path, your paths.

And then listen to this verse, for Jesus shed his precious blood, rich blessings to bestow, plunged now into the crimson flood that washes white as snow. Only trust him. Only trust him.

Only trust him now. He will save you. He will save you. He will save you now.

And then the third verse. Yes, Jesus is the truth of the way that leads you into rest. Believe in him without delay and you are fully blessed. Only trust him. Only trust him.

Only trust him now. He will save you. He will save you.

He will save you now. This is a powerful song for us as fellow caregivers to hang on to this text when it gets gnarly. When you were, like Ann was saying that she was, you know, she felt guilty for even just saying it of her journey. But we're all there. We're all there. The difference between Ann and the rest of us is that Ann's got the courage to come forth and say, Hey, this is who I am.

This is what I've struggled with. And this is, you know, I don't like what I saw in myself, but it is what it is. Is that a fair representation, Ann? No, I'm sorry. I lost you there for a second.

Oh, I'm sorry. Can you hear me? I can now. There you go. Sorry about that. Okay.

Okay. Now, like God just finally gave me sweet relief at three o'clock in the morning, waking up and just wailing. I mean, people way out in the street could have heard me if they were, you know, I mean, just crying out to God. And he just, he just healed my wounded, broken spirit. And I just cried out to him, like these words, in deep contrition, and heal my wounded, broken spirit. And then he was the spring of all my comfort. And he was more than life to me. And who on earth do I have beside thee?

And who in heaven beside thee? I mean, he just, he just finally just, I finally just came to terms with it. And just, we had a God experience, is all I can say. And he just, he just delivered me because I was in such a deep dark depression.

I was almost, I wouldn't even say the word, but the S word. And my girls were worried about me and it just, but finally, finally, I had a breakthrough with the Lord. And he just, he just provided that sweet, sweet, sweet relief.

He forgave me. It's hard. It is hard for people who haven't done this for any length of time to understand that level of despair that you got to. It's hard. It is very difficult because some people do this for, you know, six months to a year or so, you know, they've called into the show, oh, this is just such a blessing to be able to do this, and that's great. I'm so grateful that they're having that experience.

Yes. But it wasn't that for me. Well, but for those of us who deal with this for a lengthy period of time, when it just is relentless struggle, that despair is, is lurking around almost every corner. And if we don't fortify ourselves to deal with that, we'll go under.

It doesn't matter how much we know about medicine or this or that or whatever, we'll go under. And I've been there with you. I get it. And it is painful.

It is real. And there's no way on this show that I will ever minimize the heartache that goes on in a caregiver's heart. That's the whole purpose of the program is to address that so that you and me and others who are in those places can see a path out of that to solid ground.

And it starts with very simple things of, of only trust him, only trust him. But what does that look like? And what does that look like when, when you're having to take your husband to a nursing home? What does that look like when you're holding your wife screaming in pain over a broken leg on top of everything else? And, and that's what I wanted to flesh out a little bit to realize, okay, this, this is very painful.

This is very broken. This is very, very difficult, but there was a, there was a line that you in this, this new series out that everybody's talking about the chosen. And, um, have you watched, have you watched any of that?

Oh yes. I watched the whole first season. Oh, Gracie and I just, we just weep through every episode. Oh, it's so real. It's like the people are down to earth. You know, it's just like they're us, you know, it's not biblical people differently, but you see that movie and they're just real people. Yeah.

They've got it right on this one. And there's a scene where the guy playing Jesus who does such a great job and he looks at the guy that had broken his leg. Um, I won't give away the story with it, but it's, it's a very powerful scene.

And it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's a powerful scene. And, and Jesus communicates that he represents a kingdom where all of this is gone. There's no more sorrow and broken things and, and, and sickness and affliction and all this kind of stuff. He said, but in this kingdom where we are here, bones still break, heart still break. And, and, and we are ministering to each other in this brokenness, knowing that he is redeeming this, but he starts with the redemptions of our, redemption of our soul. And as he is redeeming all these other things, we trust him as your heart was, was ushered into the healing through Christ.

He gave you the strength to trust him with your husband, who was in a nursing home. As God has, has worked his redemption in my, my soul, it gives me the wherewithal to trust him as I watch Gracie struggle with all these things. And I think that's the point we have as believers. And that's the point of this show is to let's, let's go with the core issue, which is our broken spirits and then work outward from that, to be able to stay calm and to minister appropriately in these other things. But if we can't do it, if we're, if we're, if we're, if it says in Proverbs three, five through six, if we're leaning on our own understanding, we can't do this. And I think I was guilty of that a lot.

Well, I know I was, and still am. And, uh, you know, and that's, and, but that's what we do, Anne, is that we, we, we, we reinforce this with each other. You call me and reinforce this. I sit down with you and we got a cup of coffee this morning and we reinforce this so that when we are faced with these things and there, I don't know how many thousands and thousands of people listen to this show right now, but, but I know that those who are listening are united in the fact that they're having to look at painful things. And so you're reinforcing to these thousands upon thousands of people that here's the path to safety. And that's a great gift that you're giving to folks, Anne, today. It really is. It's a tremendous testimony.

And they, and scripture says in Revelation, they overcame by the blood of the lamb and the word of their testimony. Your experience. This is your experience. You've, you've done this. Well, if it, which one of us would have, you know, and, and so I want you to know how much of an encouragement you've been, um, to, to all of us today. Um, and I, and I know that you're, you're going to still go back and second guess yourself with this.

That's just human nature. We're going to do it. But, but in those moments, yeah, I should have would have, could have, and, and um, but in those moments, uh, I'm asking that you remember this hymn today. Only trust it.

Only trust it. And, and I was, I've been reading some stuff with CS Lewis lately. I've tried to have a little bit and, um, but one of the things that he posits in this, and I believe this, is that redemption works backwards. That God's, uh, the way he does it, and even the things that were so horrific that, that, that set us on certain paths, he redeems all of this. And that's, that's the kind of the point of that passage in scripture says he'll wipe away all our tears. And, you know, Joseph looked at his brothers and said, what you meant for evil, God meant for good. And so when we look at these things that are painful in our life, and they are, they are really painful, that he in time will show us that he's redeeming even this. And, and we'll see his hand of mercy. We'll see this in ways that we wouldn't see it any other way.

It doesn't mean we like it. It doesn't mean it doesn't hurt, but it does mean that, that we're, we're anchored in the eternal because of our relationship with Christ so that we live in the moment, but we're, we have the perspective of eternity and that gives meaning to the moment. We live in this moment, but we have the perspective of eternity, which gives meaning to the moment, knowing that he who began a good work in us is faithful to complete it to the day of Christ Jesus. And we got to go.

We're up against the clock. I just want you to know what a blessing you've been to me personally today. And I thank you for that. I really do.

And you call, don't, don't wait another year and a half to call. Okay. Okay. All right. Thank you.

You call anytime you want. And thank you very much for sharing your heart with us today. We got to go. There's more at hopeforthecaregiver.com. By the way, if you go out there, you'll hear a special song today that I wrote right after 9-11 that Gracie's singing. I think you'll be very moved by it. It's called We Will Stand and it's out there at our site. Hopeforthecaregiver.com.

We'll see you next week. Some of you know the remarkable story of Peter's wife Gracie. And recently, Peter talked to Gracie about all the wonderful things that have emerged from her difficult journey. Take a listen. Gracie, when you envisioned doing a prosthetic limb outreach, did you ever think that inmates would help you do that?

Not in a million years. When you go to the facility run by CoreCivic and you see the faces of these inmates that are working on prosthetic limbs that you have helped collect from all over the country, that you put out the plea for, and they're disassembling. You see all these legs, like what you have, your own prosthetic legs. And arms, too.

And arms. When you see all this, what does that do to you? Makes me cry because I see the smiles on their faces and I know, I know what it is to be locked someplace where you can't get out without somebody else allowing you to get out.

Of course, being in the hospital so much and so long. These men are so glad that they get to be doing, as one band said, something good finally with my hands. Did you know before you became an amputee that parts of prosthetic limbs could be recycled? No, I had no idea.

You know, I thought of peg leg, I thought of wooden legs, I never thought of titanium and carbon legs and flex feet and sea legs and all that. I never thought about that. As you watch these inmates participate in something like this, knowing that they're helping other people now walk, they're providing the means for these supplies to get over there, what does that do to you, just on a heart level, I wish I could explain to the world what I see in there and I wish that I could be able to go and say, this guy right here, he needs to go to Africa with us. I never not feel that way.

Every time, you know, you always make me have to leave, I don't want to leave them. I feel like I'm at home with them and I feel like that we have a common bond that I would have never expected that only God could put together. Now that you've had an experience with it, what do you think of the faith-based programs that CoreCivic offers? I think they're just absolutely awesome and I think every prison out there should have faith-based programs like this because the return rate of the men that are involved in this particular faith-based program and other ones like it, but I know about this one, is just an amazingly low rate compared to those who don't have them. And I think that that says so much.

That doesn't have anything to do with me. It just has something to do with God using somebody broken to help other broken people. If people want to donate a used prosthetic limb, whether from a loved one who passed away or, you know, somebody who outgrew them, you've donated some of your own for them to do.

How do they do that? Please go to standingwithhope.com slash recycle. standingwithhope.com slash recycle. Thanks, Gracie. you