"How's Your Pace?"

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trainaposter.com. Live on American Family Radio, this is Peter Rosenberger. This is Hope for the Caregiver. This is the show for you as a family caregiver. How are you feeling? How are you holding up? How are you doing? What's going on with you? You want to be a part of the show?

888-589-8840, 888-589-8840 and we'd love to hear from you. One or two, you won't believe this, here we are almost May, but last week I live up in the Rockies up in Montana and we had, I woke up on Monday morning, we had eight inches of snow and we had another inch yesterday and then it's going to be like 50 something degrees a day. We don't have spring here in Montana, we have sprinter and it was, I mean, no kidding, eight inches of snow. I actually got out on a snowmobile on Monday and it was a little bit, we're all just like holding our breath and hoping that spring will come here in Montana.

When it does, it is beautiful. But I was thinking about my first full winter that I spent here and a friend of mine told me, he gave me a great piece of advice. He's got a good sense of humor and he said, drive at the speed you're comfortable slamming into the ditch yet. Drive at the speed you're comfortable slamming into the ditch. And so, and you're going to hit a ditch here in Montana.

I mean, you're going to do it in rural Montana when there's winter and you've got the kind of snow that we get up here, it's going to happen. And I laughed at that, you know, statement because I thought it was really clever, but I also considered the implication for other areas. You know, as caregivers, we're often racing around at breakneck speeds. I mean, think about how frenetic our lives could be. And we're often doing that in treacherous conditions, relationships, money, and our health can be severe hazards. And the faster we move, the greater the risk. Slowing down is the key. Few, if any good decisions are made when we're amped up.

How many of you all feel amped up on a regular basis in your caregiving journey? And just like out here, wildlife jumping in front of our trucks, life has a way of hurling things in front of us as caregivers. Slowing down allows us to better protect ourselves, our property, and our loved ones. Ditches and wrecks can't always be avoided, but we can reduce the damage. Besides, going slower provides us the opportunity to see the beauty all around us, and there is. And so I thought about that for us as caregivers, of just slowing down. And I understand that sometimes there are emergencies and we've got to do things, but out here, I learned some lessons that the environment does not change based on my needs at the moment.

It's going to be what it's going to be. So drive at the speed you're comfortable slamming into the ditch. And we don't always like that.

We want to go faster. And our prayers reflect that. And I was thinking about this quote from C.S.

Lewis. There are two kinds of people. See if this resonates with you. Those who say to God, thy will be done. That's slowing down and accepting His will in this. Or those to whom God says, all right, have it your way. I thought, that sounds about like me on this one. God's, you know, all right, Peter, have it your way.

So drive at the speed you're comfortable slamming in the ditch at and just take the day at a time and not be in such a hurry. And that brings me to our hymn for the day. Now, this is going to be a challenging one. I'm curious to see how many of you all are going to get this, but I want to talk about what this hymn says, and I'm going to go over here to the caregiver keyboard. I am now at the caregiver keyboard. And I'm going to play this hymn and I'm going to see if you know this hymn. And if you know it, give me a call. 888-589-8840.

888-589-8840. All right, here he goes. Well, that's a little loud, isn't it? Let me turn it down, John.

Sorry. I got stuff on the caregiver keyboard. You know this hymn. It's a nice little melody, isn't it? And if you know that hymn, give us a call.

888-589-8840, because we're going to talk about what the implications of that hymn mean to us as caregivers today in the context of the caregiver quote for the day. You can drive at the speed you're comfortable slamming into the ditch at, and there's nothing like a snowy road in Montana to drive that home of what it could be like and how dangerous and how treacherous it could be for us to run around at breakneck speeds. And why do we do this?

And what's going on? And a lot of this is driven in this fear that we have that if we don't do this, it's all going to fall apart. If we don't do this, something bad is going to happen, so we have to push, push, push, push, push. But it's better to arrive there a little bit late than to be in a ditch waiting for a tow truck with a wrecked car or wrecked life or wrecked heart. And you can sit there and pray all you want, God get me out of this ditch. But sometimes God's going to allow the ditches in our life to drive home a greater truth for us, that it's okay and it's imperative actually for us to slow down, us to slow down, slow down. So how are you feeling this morning? Are you slowing down?

Are you feeling like that you're running at 100 miles an hour? Are you willing to just say, you know, Lord, that will be done? 888-589-8840. 888-589-8840. We'll take your calls.

We're going to talk about this and get into it. I'll give you a hint on the verse from this song, because it is a, it's not as well known of a song, hymn, as some of the ones I play here, but it's a very powerful lyric. It's, it's, I don't want to give away, I'm trying to find one of the lyrics, but help me Lord when toil and trouble meeting, ere to take, as from a father's hand, one by one, the days, the moments fleeting till I reach the promised land.

And that'll give you a little hint on this song because it's a, it's a really wonderful hymn that drives home this greater truth of how we're to live as believers and particularly in the context of being a caregiver. And it seems like we can't do it. It seems antithetical to doing it because we're, we're, you know, we're dealing with real life emergencies on a, on a regular basis. You know, we've got to get to the hospital. We got to get to the, we got to get this done. We got to get, we got to, we got to, we got to, we got to, and I, and I suggest to you after 35 years of this, I've been doing this a long time. You're going to get there when you get there, it's going to happen.

And let it be, you know, take time. I used to, when I first moved out here before we got all our stuff at the internet with the studio here at the, at the house. I had to drive down to get up early on Saturday mornings and drive down to the church where I serve as a music minister out here in this little town.

And I would get up and leave the house about 5 15 and the sun was coming up in the summertime, just like it is now about this time in the morning. And, and I would see a deer. Well, when you see a deer on the road in Montana, that is the, the Montana state sign for slow down even more because there's always another deer and they're going to run out and jump out in front of you. And, and so just slow down, enjoy the beauty of nature and drive at the speed you're comfortable slamming into the ditch act. Okay.

So just slow down. And that's what we're going to do today as caregivers. And then we're going to talk about this hymn.

If you know this hymn, and it's 888-589-8840, 888-589-8840. This is Peter Rosenberger. This is Hope for the caregiver. This is the show for you as a family caregiver. This is your time. We'll be right back.

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We do it all the time. 10 year warranty, guaranteed not to go flat, 60 day money back guarantee, made in the USA. As a caregiver, you need rest. So start by going to MyPillow.com, type in the promo code CAREGIVER. You get 50% off the four pack, which includes two premium pillows and two go anywhere pillows. You can also receive a discount on anything else on the website when using your promo code CAREGIVER. That's MyPillow.com promo code CAREGIVER. Welcome back to Hope for the Caregiver here on American Family Radio. This is Peter Rosenberg and this is the nation's number one show for you as a family caregiver and the views of the hosts of this show are not necessarily things that he owns but things that God is working out in every day. We have a long way to go. Our topic today is how's your pace?

How are you pacing yourself? The opening monologue from last block was drive at the speed you're comfortable slamming into the ditch at. And that's great advice I got out here in rural Montana during the winter, but I also played a song today that I wanted to see if you all knew it.

And it's not as well known of a hymn, but I think that a lot of people evidently a lot of people called in, they know this song. So let's go with Joe in Mississippi. Joe, good morning. Good morning. How are you? How are you feeling, Joe? I'm feeling blessed and I have an opportunity to tell you something about caregiving.

I hope. Well, tell me about your journey as a caregiver. Long story short, I ended up getting married and to my wife, Kimberly Kathleen Conway in August 1st of 87 in 15 years entire marriage, she started acting different. I mean, we started fighting. We started we started we had three children at the time, two boys and a girl. John was like five.

Joseph was eight or nine and Carrie was 12. And we were we these were the kind of fights that were just, you know, some believe you're going to see the divorce lawyer. OK. And actually, at some point I did because the lawyer was like, oh, you need to go fashion divorce. I'm like, that's just not my belief.

So I stood with it. But but she would do all kind of bizarre. Her main thing was she said she had these headaches and these headaches. She nursed him by drinking beer and going to the doctor and the doctor would was prescribers, though, often things like that. Excruciating pain eventually got to the point where she started slowly doing bizarre things, getting in arguments and she would bang on the door.

And I mean, I would have to go like get away from her. And I stayed there because the children. So that went on for about three, two years or so. And I eventually ended up going to the doctor and I said, you know, it's something's got to give here because it started. It just really got worse and worse trying to maintain a job and that kind of thing. So all of that culminated in she's diagnosed with Alzheimer's in August of 08. And then that changed.

That was a game changer. So back then, the doctors had an opportunity to move from from Little Rock. And so I had an opportunity to move and I was talking to the doctors. Just what do you do? Because I had no idea what to do.

Nobody knows what to do in this situation. Not only that, but her fetish, most people with Alzheimer's, they have some sort of fetish. And with her, it was a cigarette smoking. And of course, she was still kind of drinking beer, but I had to get her off of that. And then finally, the doctors, they didn't know they owe you a move and might help.

So that's why we ended up in Mississippi. So fast forward in the caregiving thing. It's like what you said.

You go with the speed that you're willing to crash at the ditch. But the thing about Alzheimer's and she ended up with lung cancer is that people don't realize that 65 percent of caregivers for Alzheimer's or dementia, they get kind of neighbor call it mixed dementia. It's your brain is slowly dying is what's happening.

So 65 percent of caregivers die before or pass away before the people that they're caring for. And I ended up in August of September twenty third of 16 with a grandma seizure. It got so bad. I've never had one before, but it was it was do with pushing myself too hard.

And I landed in that ditch in an emergency room. I was going to say granted we had grandkids by that. But the other thing about caregiving is that you automatically become codependent. Now, that's not necessarily a bad thing. Well, it's not even a good thing or bad thing.

It is what it is. You just become codependent. And and if you have children involved, I really have a strong belief that many of the children that have this situation, they suffer from CEC and childhood emotional neglect. So when you drive down the road and you see these people that are panhandling or coming up to your window are homeless.

I believe a lot of them have had emotional scars from dealing with a childhood like that. What I ended up doing. Well, can I can I can I step in for just a second, Joe? You've given us a lot of information.

Let me step in for just a second. What's the status of your wife right now? Is she alive?

She she passed away on December 28, 2017. I spent the next three years writing a book and it's called Living with Thunder. It's on Amazon. I'm not it's to help people. It's like a guidebook. And I wrote it in such a way that if I run into somebody, I say, you know, read this book because it answers a lot of questions about the Social Security and a lot of the information I'm sharing with you right now.

But I don't have it marketed with any professional market or nothing like that. It's just I did it myself and I joined these different Alzheimer's group and I'd like to just share my testimony because I'll tell you what I can talk to you about miracle after miracle. And when the ditch when I ended up with the ditch, how the Lord I mean, you just love faith, hope and love is that is the whole thing about this book. Well, I and I appreciate you sharing that with me, Joe. I really do. It's I'm glad to know that you're not in the ditch anymore.

You obviously can understand the frame of reference of, you know, how fast we can get into that ditch. And so I appreciate you calling and sharing that. Did you happen to know the song? Music is something is really important for caregiving because when Kim could. Well, hang on, Joe.

Did you happen to know the song? Oh, no, sir, I don't. I'm sorry. That's all right. That's OK. It's just I got a lot of folks that like to weigh in on it. And there's a reason I brought it up today.

And you're right. Music is a huge part of the journey for us as caregivers and for our loved ones. It could sometimes soothe us in the midst of craziness and it's it's comforting and strengthening. And Joe, I do appreciate very much you calling and sharing your story, your faith and your journey. And it means a lot. And I do appreciate you calling on that, Joe. Thanks so much. Let me go to Debbie in Georgia. Debbie, good morning. How are you feeling?

I'm doing super. And thank you all so much for taking my call. Well, you're quite welcome.

Tell me this. Did you know the song? Yes. It's a blessed song. Oh, yes, it is. Yes, it is.

It's not one that day by day. It's not one that's sung a lot, is it? We sing it at our church, our little community Bible church in Warner Robins, Georgia. And we love it. I get teary every time I sing it. It's a beautiful song. Well, that that is really great.

I mean, I love the text of it. And here here's why I did this day by day with each passing moment. Strength I find to to meet my trials here, trusting in my father's wise bestowment.

I have no cause for worry or for fear. He whose heart is kind beyond all measure gives unto each day what he deems best. Lovingly, it's part of plain pain and pleasure, mingling toil with peace and rest. And, you know, that's a that's a powerful lyric for us as caregivers, isn't it? Hallelujah.

That's all I can say. Yes, Lord. It keeps you. And music is just like the first caller Joe said, it is so soothing, you know, when you've had a stressful week when you go and even when that song just pops in your head through the week, when you go into one of those moments. Well, that's that's why I do this on the show, because I want, you know, Debbie, to when people are driving around and it gets a little nuts, they can hopefully remember this little tune. And it just, you know, day by day. All they can do is hum it. That's OK, because they can remember day by day.

And it's such an easy tune to remember and to hum. And it drives home that great point of, you know what, day by day, we're just going to go with today. We're going to deal with today. Now, tell me about your journey. Tell me about your journey as a caregiver.

My husband and I have an adult young daughter, a daughter home with us presently. But going back to when she's 40, she'll be 40 this year. But when she was three and a half, she was diagnosed with leukemia. And we went that journey three years and she relapsed after eight months.

And then we went through it another three years. But thanks be to God, she's still with us today. But she has her challenges.

And we are thankful that God chose us to be her parent. And it does get difficult. But as this song says, day by day, as we trust Him, as I chose verse Philippians 1, 6, when they were little going to school, being confident of this very thing, He which hath begun of good work in you will perform it unto the day of Jesus Christ. Well, that is a great scripture to hang onto in this. He who began a good work in you is faithful to complete it to the day of Christ Jesus.

And that is a good word. Debbie, you have you've just been a ray of sunshine for somebody. You're a good wake up call this morning.

You're so excited and you wake up and you're you're ready to face the day. And I thank you. Well, I thank you for calling.

Yes, you can. And I thank you for calling. Thank you for knowing that song. This is Peter Rosenberger. This is Hope for the Caregiver. This is the show for you as a family caregiver.

We'll be right back. Welcome back to Hope for the Caregiver. This is Peter Rosenberger. This is the show for you as a family caregiver. That is Gracie, my wife, from her CD Resilient. He knows the plans that he has for you.

And that's how we can discipline ourselves to slow down and to to deal with each day as it comes. And because we have that confidence in him, if you want to be a part of the show, 888-589-8840, 888-589-8840. If you want to copy that CD, go out to Hope for the Caregiver dot com and be a part of what we're doing.

If you like what you're hearing on the show and if you find it resonates with you, support it. We'll send you a copy of that CD of Gracie's song today. Our hymn was one in the first half hour of the show. We had a lady called from Debbie in Georgia.

She knew it. And it's a great hymn. And I play these hymns regularly now on the show because I want to drive the point home for us as caregivers. There are resources for us to kind of mull on and hang on to. Half of it, not half, the vast majority of the battle is retraining our mind to respond to these things instead of just reacting when life throws us the curveballs that it does, particularly us as caregivers, because it just comes relentlessly. We don't deal with anything as a caregiver that is not common to the human condition as far as on a heart level. Now, we may have to deal with medical crises and all these kinds of things that a lot of people don't ever see. Seizures and changing complex dressings, pharmaceuticals, lots of surgeries, like in our case, and so forth. But the heart condition is common to all of us. The fear, the obligation, the guilt, what I call the fog of caregivers, the isolation, the resentment, the despair, all of that is common to mankind.

But as caregivers, we deal with that in a relentless manner often. It just doesn't seem to stop on a nuclear level, or as George W. Bush would say, a nuclear level. And my wife says nuclear too, and I always laugh when she does it. You know somebody else who used to say nuclear? Not nuclear. Nuclear was DeForest Kelly, the guy who played Dr. McCoy on Star Trek. He was born in Toccoa, Georgia, and he said nuclear. And they allowed him to do it on the show.

I thought that was fun. All right, that has nothing to do with talking about being a caregiver. But the point is if what we're dealing with is common to all mankind, then let's go back to the authority of Scripture. Let's go back to what God is saying how to deal with that. Because God is going to give us the instruction, the equipment, the wherewithal to be able to deal with that fear, and that despair, and that rage, and that resentment.

It's all there in Scripture. And so we need to retrain our minds to deal with it when it comes up, or when it doesn't leave. And so part of today is we just slow down, and then we deal with every day as it comes.

We learn to respond. And that's why I did this hymn. So if you know this hymn, and I'm going to go to the caregiver keyboard.

I'll just hit you with a couple of notes of it. Okay, that's the hymn for today if you know that hymn, and I think we've got a few folks to do. Jason in Texas. Good morning, Jason. How are you feeling? I'm feeling pretty good.

It's a beautiful morning, actually, here in Central Texas. All right, what you got on your heart and mind? Well, first, I wanted to say thank you for playing that hymn.

It actually touched me. I never knew that hymn. Like you said, it's not very common, but I only got to know about that hymn three years ago. And starting from then, it was one of my favorite hymns because I guess with my life as a caregiver for my mother. And tell us the name of the hymn just for folks that are just now joining. Oh, yeah, it's Day by Day. Day by day with each passing moment. Strength I find to meet my trials here.

Trusting in my Father's wise bestowment, I have no cause for worry or for fear. And tell me how that hymn meant something to you caring for your mother. Well, so when I first started as a caregiver, I wasn't alone. I had my older sister. She's off in the Air Force now, but she was there. She did most of it, but I helped her out.

And once she was starting to join the Air Force, of course, since I'm the next in line as the eldest, I decided to help her out and I was starting to take responsibility for the stuff she was doing for my mother. And every day I kind of felt like, why can't things happen faster and why is it always going slow? And then I try to make it faster. I try to go at my pace. But then when I heard that hymn, just starting from the beginning, it says Day by Day.

And it's not about our pace or how we want it to go, because no matter how much we try to speed things up, it's always going to be God's pace, however He wants it to go. And in His pace, His ways are easy and they're not heavy. They're kind.

They're very soothing as well. Like the hymn does say, He whose heart is kind beyond all measures. And as I sing that hymn, I look back and I'm like, man, yes, it's always been like that.

His heart is always been kind beyond all measures. And I am guilty of sometimes forgetting that. It's just sometimes I have to slow down and look and I'm like, God, you're in control, not me. And sometimes it just gets me.

I wonder if you understand, you probably do as a caregiver. Like sometimes it just gets you where you're like, I got to stop. It's in God's hands and let Him take control. And I got to slow down. Well, my dad has a quote that I often quote him on and he says, God's got this problem.

He thinks He's God. And for me, I feel like as a caregiver, I have pushed myself to inhuman levels, thinking it's all up to me, it's all up to me, it's all up to me. I've got to do this.

I got to, I got to, I got to. And that goes back to that obligation we deal with as caregivers, that fear, obligation, and guilt. And you could always tell when you're in that obligation trap, when you're saying things like, I need to, I have to, I must, I'm supposed to, I should, I have to, I got to, I got to, I got to, I got to. And that fog of caregivers, fear, obligation, and guilt. What's the first thing you do? I know you get fogs there in Texas. What's the first thing you do when you're driving and you see a fog bank?

What do you do? Slow down. Slow down. And, uh, you know, it's just, it's one of those things that the principle applies so beautifully, slow down, no matter how fast you want to be somewhere, slow down. And slowing down doesn't necessarily mean, I mean, like when, when I'm doing stuff around the house and working and so forth, I'm moving and I move quickly, but it doesn't, it doesn't mean that you just go at the speed of a sloth. It means that you slow your heart down more importantly, so that you think clearer and, and, and then you can, you can make better decisions.

I've, I don't think I've ever made a good decision when I'm amped up. And as caregivers, we get that adrenaline rush, crisis, crisis, crisis all the time. And so that is why we're trying to, to retrain our brain to deal with these things and to be able to, to adjust the way we approach life in this.

And that's the whole point of this. And that's why these hymns are great because when things get a little bit nuts, then we can, um, we can remember a tune, an easy tune to remember. That's very easy to remember. And you may not remember all the lyrics, but you could say day by day and with each passing moment, you know, and if that's all you can remember is day by day. You know, um, last week we did, this is my father's world, you know, this is my father's world. These are very easy things to remember, but it drives home that great truth that has sustained millions upon millions of people. And that's the point of all of this.

888-589-8840, 888-589-8840. If you know this particular hymn and you want to weigh in on it and what it's meant to you. It was a great story from Jason.

We lost him for a moment there, but that was a great story of how he came to know this while caring for his mother. Trinity, good morning. How are you feeling? Good morning, Peter. Um, well, I don't know if I told you, I failed getting out of the shower the other day, so I've been kind of slow, but today I'm actually getting laundry done. So getting better.

Getting better. Indeed. Indeed. And, uh, are you, hold on. Well, hang on just a second. They just hit the music and we got to go to a break. Can you hang on through the break? Hang on just for a second through the break and we'll be right back.

We got to go to break. This is Peter Rosenberg. This is hope for the caregiver. This is the show for you as a family caregiver.

We'll be right back. Peter Rosenberg. He's been a caregiver since the cold war. 24 seven emergency support, increasing safety, reducing isolation, these things are more important than ever as we deal with the challenges of COVID-19. How about your vulnerable loved ones?

We can't always check on them or be there in ways we'd like. That's why there's constant companion seamlessly weaving technology and personal attention to help push back against the isolation while addressing the critical safety issues of our vulnerable loved ones and their caregivers. Constant companion is the solution for families today. Staying connected, staying safe.

It's smart, easy, and incredibly affordable. Go to www.mycompanion247.com today that's mycompanion247.com connection and independence for you and those you care about. Mycompanion247.com Welcome back to Hope for the Caregiver, this is Peter Rosenberg and this is the show for you as a family caregiver. If you want to be a part of what we're doing, go out to Hope for the Caregiver, you can support what we're doing and get involved, share it with other folks.

The podcast we have is free and we have tons of resources out there for you as a family caregiver. This is all part of the ministry that Gracie and I founded Standing with Hope many years ago. We have two program areas, the Prosthetic Limb Outreach and then of course this show for caregivers and it's for the wounded and those who care for them. And we'd love for you to be a part of it today and just had to send over a bunch of resin, we purchased a bunch of resin for the prosthetic limbs that we're doing. We can't go over there right now because of COVID but we're still sponsoring limbs, sending supplies and all kinds of things and we would love for you to be a part of that. And also find out more about our prosthetic limb recycling program that we have. You can recycle prosthetic limb, I don't know if you knew this or not, but they go to a prison in Arizona now.

And inmates volunteer to disassemble them for us so we can reuse the foot, the knee, the pylon, the socks, the connectors, the adapters, the screws, all those kinds of things. So help us get the word out and you can be a part of all of that today. We're going back to Trinity in South Carolina. We left her and she had just fallen out of the shower.

No, not literally, but she had earlier this week. So I want to make sure everybody knows she's OK. So tell me what's on your heart. I'm facing I'm a geezer that it's the humiliation that's the worst pain. But when you're talking about slowing down, I remembered something in your first book, Gracie, that early on in your marriage and there were multiple surgeries going on, you stepped away and went to the movies. And there were others that were critical, but you were taking care of you so you could continue to help take care of Gracie. And you just took that time just to step away and breathe. So at times you've been excellent at slowing down. And at other times I failed dismally. But, you know, and I appreciate you remembering that and bringing that up because and I took some heat for that because other people are thinking I needed to be they were putting pressure on me. I was just a young man. I didn't know any different.

Dumber and a box of hammers. And I was a kid. And and and and I went they said there's nothing else you could do.

She's she's going to be set up here for some time. So I went and saw a movie and just kind of relaxed and just chilled out. And man, you'd have thought I'd slap somebody.

Everybody was just all aghast. And and so I mistakenly took that on that somehow I've got to look like I'm doing something. And, you know, and that that is a trap for us as caregivers.

I would imagine that's pretty much consistent with you and everybody else. We we bow to the pressure of other people saying what we're supposed to be doing. And we don't step away sometimes. We can't clearly see what we do need to be doing. Nice way in and separating from the situation.

You can get clarity when you step back into it. Now, speaking of stepping back into it, you're safe for the shower now, right? I have a new shower mat. My daughter, Kana, and her husband came over yesterday and they both climbed in the shower to see if they could make the mat move even without the water running. So and and she she also put up a hand grip for me getting out of the shower. I'll be having the shower chair. Mathias, my son is delivering the shower chair that they still have from his dad.

So pretty soon. Yeah. Yeah. This is embrace the chair. It's okay. Embrace it. You know, it's it is just, you know, we could we could fight it all we want. But, you know, embrace the chair.

I'm trying to avoid them having to become my caregivers. So an ounce of prevention will come. Well, what's the old saying? An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. So the shower chair can prevent a lot of drama.

And it's amazing what a good non slip mat in the shower can do to prevent. And you don't know the pain you're saved from. You only know the pain that you have. But but hopefully that'll that'll keep you a little safer. But I was praising God that nothing broke.

I just sprained a knee and ankle. But when you were talking about driving, the only car accidents I've ever had is when other people have hit me. So which indicates something else. But that's a whole nother show.

We're just going to walk slowly away from that and maybe embrace a chair to sit down on that particular topic. So well, listen, thank you for calling. You make me laugh. And thank you for that.

And that's a good safety tip. And also thank you for remembering that about, you know, I've kind of forgotten about that. And I'll never forget the look on those people's face. They were just all mad at me. Family and what even my family, it was family of family that was watching and I'm like, man, I'm just a kid.

You know, what's the matter with you people? But I didn't have the wherewithal, the vocabulary at the time to say so. And I didn't know. I mean, I didn't know what to you know, I didn't know how to respond. I just thought, well, they're over and I need to listen to what they're saying and do what they're saying.

Boy, was I wrong. But well, everybody else knows what the caregiver should be doing, but they're not in the trenches doing it. They're not. And that's why I always tell my fellow caregivers, you can take advice at the same level of their passion to help.

And, you know, the direct proportion of how willing they are to help and do it. But thank you so much for calling on that. I'm going to transition to Paul in Texas. Let's see, Paul. Good morning, Paul. How are you feeling? I'm doing good, buddy. I'm sure glad to hear your program week after week after week.

I look forward to it on Saturday morning. And thank you for all that. I thank you for all the suggestions, the wisdom, your credibility, your experiences. I appreciate that little illustration story that was just shared because it reminded me. I've tried to live by because of what I do. The theme of my life is service above self and being married for a long time.

My wife has transferred my latest. And so it's you know, she likes to be independent to a degree. And so I want to I want to take care of. But as the experience you had is, I have to learn to get away from it once in a while.

And that's kind of difficult because we do work together. But anyway, I just thank you for all the music, all the songs. I love to hear your wife sing with the CDs because I've never heard in person. But I just thank you and thank you. Thank you for giving yourself and preparing yourself so diligently to help people like me and many others. Well, Paul, I appreciate that.

I really do. And it's hard for us as caregivers to get away. And that's why I do the show, because this is our time on Saturday mornings just to have, even if it's just for one hour, we caregivers can get together and we can just talk about stuff.

I'm not here to to lecture or give my opinion on a lot of things. Here's my experience. Here's what I've learned the hard way. And I hope that my fellow caregivers will glean from that in ways that will work in their life so that they don't have to end up in some of the ditches that I've ended up in. I've ended up in a lot of ditches, Paul.

I have spent a lot of time in a ditch. And but you know what? Even in those places, that's where you get to experience the grace of God in ways that maybe you wouldn't understand it otherwise. So, you know, you learn to be thankful in all things. And those are very kind words.

And I appreciate you listening. I'm going to go to Linda and Linda, I don't know where you are, but good morning. How are you feeling?

I'm in Tennessee. I'm feeling wonderful. Yes. Yes.

And I have been I've been a caregiver off and on for quite a few years. And I just I didn't have really a story for you today. I just wanted to make a point to let you know that Day by Day is a beautiful, beautiful song. And there's another one that goes hand in hand with that. And that is In His Time. In His Time. Yes.

He makes all things beautiful in His time. Is that the one you think about? Yes, sir. Yes, sir. That's the one. And to me. Yeah, that's I love that. I love that one. I mean, it just goes hand in hand with Day by Day because indeed it does no matter.

Yes. No matter no matter what is going on in our lives and we're rushing around, everything seems like it's going 100 miles an hour in every direction. If we just slow down, read the word of God and study on what He tells us to do. It just makes the world of difference.

I mean, we want everything to happen yesterday. And that's not how it goes. You remember the old movie Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory? Yes, I do. And that little girl that sang that song, Veruca Salt, she's like, I want it now. You know, that's me.

You know, I want it now. And we're in the world of instant gratification now. And when it takes longer than what we want it to do, we just get mad and frustrated and overwhelmed. And all we have to do is ask God to just slow me down, Lord, and just show me where I need to be.

Point me in the direction I'm supposed to be going and He'll do it every time. Well, there's an old phrase that a friend of mine gave me and I live by it. I truly live by it because it was one of those life-changing phrases. If we don't take time for stillness, we're going to have to make time for illness.

Exactly. That is, being still is a matter of the heart. And, you know, Gracie on her CD, she does a thing, just acapella, just, Be still my soul, the Lord is on my side. And you see that theme in scripture a lot where the stillness that God is implanting. I don't see anywhere in scripture where He says, get out there and run around and act like you're busy. You know, the world is saying, Run around like you're kicking with your head cut off.

Yeah. And the world says, don't just sit there, do something. And scripture is saying, don't just do something, stand there. And be still.

And He will. And it's a hard thing to do. And I would love to tell you that I own this concept, but I don't, Linda. I'm just learning it every day, day by day, with each passing moment, as the hymn says, Strength I find to meet my trials here. Well, Linda, you've blessed me. And you've just been a blessing to call into the show today. Thank you very much for listening. Well, we love you.

Thank you. Well, thank you, Linda. That is very kind of you. And I love doing the show with you and spending this time with you all as well. And I just want to just hope everybody just grab a cup of coffee this morning and just sit around and we'll just have a conversation about strengthening our hearts as a fellow caregiver, one to another.

And healthy caregivers make better caregivers. That's the whole point of everything we do here. We appreciate you being a part of it.

Go to HopeForTheCaregiver.com and we'll see you next time. This is John Butler, and I produce Hope for the Caregiver with Peter Rosenberger. Some of you know the remarkable story of Peter's wife, Gracie. And recently, Peter talked to Gracie about all the wonderful things that have emerged from her difficult journey. Take a listen. Gracie, when you envisioned doing a prosthetic limb outreach, did you ever think that inmates would help you do that?

Not in a million years. When you go to the facility run by CoreCivic and you see the faces of these inmates that are working on prosthetic limbs that you have helped collect from all over the country, that you put out the plea for, and they're disassembling, you see all these legs, like what you have, your own prosthetic legs. And arms.

And arms. When you see all this, what does that do to you? It makes me cry, because I see the smiles on their faces, and I know what it is to be locked someplace where you can't get out without somebody else allowing you to get out.

Of course, being in the hospital so much and so long. And so, these men are so glad that they get to be doing, as one band said, something good finally with my hands. Did you know before you became an amputee that parts of prosthetic limbs could be recycled? No, I had no idea.

You know, I thought of peg leg, I thought of wooden legs, I never thought of titanium and carbon legs and flex feet and sea legs and all that. I never thought about that. As you watch these inmates participate in something like this, knowing that they're helping other people now walk, they're providing the means for these supplies to get over there, what does that do to you, just on a heart level? I wish I could explain to the world what I see in there. And I wish that I could be able to go and say, this guy right here, he needs to go to Africa with us. I never not feel that way.

Every time, you know, you always make me have to leave, I don't want to leave them. I feel like I'm at home with them. And I feel like that we have a common bond that I would have never expected that only God could put together. Now that you've had an experience with it, what do you think of the faith-based programs that CoreCivic offers? I think they're just absolutely awesome. And I think every prison out there should have faith-based programs like this, because the return rate of the men that are involved in this particular faith-based program and the other ones like it, but I know about this one, is just an amazingly low rate compared to those who don't have them. And I think that that says so much.

That doesn't have anything to do with me. It just has something to do with God using somebody broken to help other broken people. If people want to donate a used prosthetic limb, whether from a loved one who passed away or somebody who outgrew them, you've donated some of your own for them to do. How do they do that? Oh, please go to standingwithhope.com slash recycle. Standingwithhope.com slash recycle. Thanks, Gracie.