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Preparing for the Inevitable

Hope for the Caregiver / Peter Rosenberger
The Truth Network Radio
February 18, 2021 3:00 am

Preparing for the Inevitable

Hope for the Caregiver / Peter Rosenberger

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February 18, 2021 3:00 am

"Nancy, I'm going to die." 

This is the message my guest heard from her mother-in-law, Lucille, as the inevitable drew closer. Yet, Lucille, had one more extraordinary gift for Nancy as they faced her death. 

 

COVERED TOPICS / TAGS (Click to Search)
death hope caregiving grieving
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Let's hope. Orion Peter Rosenberg. This is the show family caregiver how you hold are you doing what's going on with you and that's what this show is all about is to help you better navigate through these journeys and that's Gracie singing from her CD resilient you get a copy of that. I want to hope for the caregiver.com hope for the caregiver.calm and just click on the CD cover.

You can see more about what with the city is about. She's fussing at me John she's blessed at me because I have it loaded her CD up to all the digital streaming services and I delegated that task to someone.

Did you help to help me in that change the names but even but is extremely tall right thinking and he's the reason that that's got Gracie speak about you and right well I want it right so let's not let it what it will fully borrow from you directly because I will happily take the cash. This asparagus at you.

This versions of youth know it's about what you can download it as individual cells for people to download the whole CD and working on that bear down and I will I have met you, but this is as is. Folks if you want to get it if you want to go in your CD.

If you get involve the show, you help us underwrite the show to donate is stated with hope you notice it's a text that will give will send you a copy of her CD, just as our gift and I thank you for for doing this and for being a part of what were doing were waiting in a moment here I will be joined with my friend Nancy who took care of her parents and then both of them passed away and she's been closing out the house and in so I wanting to talk with her about some tips that she learned through that process of okay this this kind of fell on her shoulders a bit and into two go through that the estate sale of the all that kind of stuff. Those are those are hard things and walk and we currently still grieving over the loss of her parents.

Yeah, yeah, we recover an awful lot on the show over eight or nine years we've been doing it, but that's that's why I don't think we've touched on it. Of course in passing by to II have questions regarding medical headings are Edgemont nonsecure will and I thought okay if it's feasible to do this. Now here's the back story of Nancy as she was Gracie's roommate in college before her, Rick. In fact, her parents were the emergency contact individuals for Gracie Gracie list her irises emergency contacts locally that conservatives would Gracie's president, Florida. Gracie was in college in Nashville in May to experience live right down only just with that almost just a couple miles from the school and so sheets. They were the emergency contacts that the taste of the state authorities contacted Nancy's mother first and so so we go back a long way. So I've known her parents for many many years and in the nest of watched as Nancy's go through this of Nancy, thank you for joining us this is Nancy Commissioner Nancy stroke commission and I'm glad you're here. Thank you for being propped. Nancy and try from prompt is the word applicable that we go back a long ways. Nancy and Craig and but you've got watch this is you get a course of that had just deep regard for your folks and as you watch them decline in and you knew what was coming. You knew all the things going on and then you had to step in, not only as caregiver but then you kinda handled the estate of everything in and that can be quite a bit of half of of headache and heartache at the same time so as much as you want to share and I don't feel you gotta just blew it all out there if you don't want to but I think I would love to hear some insights that you got from it. Things that you didn't know things that you learn about yourself and in some things that maybe you could offer to other folks who find themselves in the situation so take us down that path well I doubt years ago and my father the position. Another, and father are learning more learning people and very educated and my family had been in medical my sisters markets are said and course.

My husband and medical feel and I had always just saying that everybody understood that anything like a clock that that no one could take and my father being a learned individual.

I know he obligated by wonderful and by his patients. One can barely he gave advice about getting older. Don't stop whatever you do don't doubt stop and sit down, make sure you continue to make mentally, physically, nationally, spiritually, financially everything to prepare yourself for the future and it was very interesting because you know you hear physician heal thyself as people climbed on the Bible and know he is the Bible's birthday in India look a second opinions. 319 Carolyn merchant met with my mother's name because she would. She tended to you Scripture and most unique way by dipping why he kept he had been true on my aunt that my uncle would like a father to tell the other and my my uncle passed my both my aunt became a no agent angrily were starting after my mother with the youngest like I that she was young about eight years and just 3 1/2 hour five and any.my father was at called on by Dan to take care, their financial responsibility and life and you know it came together seamlessly and he advised the court he advised them before they passed you in dealing with their financial think preparing an insurance and gathering all the material and all that and then I'm going to say a very Southern thing. Bless their little heart is its length. Ehrhardt on Dane really did not think that time would march on now and then they didn't do well in investing in such they really did not prepare her their preparers yeah really prepare me lightening and I will let you let you know when it okay now you're 85 years.

All you had a stroke already on everybody else holding you in it struggling in their health and are starting declining mother sorry started his chosen mention that it's not time, not time yet to ask is underage understood though, that is, it is something that's my my mother has already has Artie passed away, but that was something she went you know she she told me what I when I moved out a house hate hears all peers, all the financial stuff years old. Everything you need is is in this this box in this closet.

John yeah yeah it was. It was really amazing. And you know why I my my stepfather still lives in a house and everything so I did have to dampen what you had to go through fights, but that was that something that I want to encourage everybody to today because it is tremendous peace of mind. Well I should offend again with II basically lived a tale of two acting. I had a mother-in-law that there were three and I have another long and only child, and they were on main thing will he prepared, she literally at six months before she passed before she started having difficulty in real difficulty on many stroke she literally could give me with. I really like within $10 of what her work life where her bills were well like you to know this, but some strict yeah .90, no 94 94.1 and she had always been super organized and unfortunately organized, is not my main that or eight or a characteristic that he would probably go to any particular spiritual gifts is is that what you're trying to pry and be sure that at some point there now. If there's chaos and clever you could be sure that I've been there to say about you should question this is rather personal, so feel free to just hang up the adult answer is but would after they passed, and you would over the house in this house you grew up in the house for the first time when you sold the volume of work that you would have to do to get this thing ready to things, how did you handle it, and for my narrative thing dear Randall, it was only a text away. Peter will and I said hello. Dear Lord, I am losing my mind. She did call me Lord John, I just let you know concerning the other things but not more calling you I'm losing my mind that's like. That's that's the blind blind man.

I don't know why the old story of Ray Charles leading Ronnie Mills that the backstage of something that's a true story will get it or that of others that after the riddle of rewards of this a true story, but at no well your very kind, because it is since it was a pleasure to to offer what I could, but you were going into areas that I have been and I so I could just since the weight on you and so she walked to the house for the first well I began doing that first reaction because I realized how I got a little emotional and the way that all had already fallen on me when he did not have a great community patient between my parents and my two sisters and myself. We all fell in different when it came to certain thing about end-of-life and I course that had been models that have been modeled to me in such an incredible manner by my mother-in-law and my father-in-law like and they had actually began in their ministry to sit down and and counsel people kicking well and can begin early and one of the things that they mean I'll never forget that one of the things that was still fenced in a sitting across the table from me.

She fed me. I'm going to die and I started welling up and she 92.92, 93 years old and she still driving ships taking the cooking sheet.

Having people over and calling the little lengthy little old lady that are in my family will happen in micro for lunch, but she did say that her son, he felt she she looking for anything I'm going to die and crank is going to need your help to help him through that and you will need to be strong, but I'm going to provide you with the greatest thing that I can do, which is a plan I planned.

I began many years ago, knowing that crag would not have a sibling to rely on that he would have to depend on and partner with it like partner his life to go through this nice traumatic difficult time for yet.

This is even more important and only adopted child had no siblings. You know, cousin far away they were mostly in Georgia but still they were not emotionally close or really physically like and that to me when she looked at me and said I have a plan for after my death. I would like and I thought okay this is and I work. I'm going to be okay for a great gift of tremendous, tremendous Talking with my friend Nancy for a lifetime.

Grace were roommates in college and just differentiate her husband Craig and family and she went through this trauma with the both sides of the family almost at the same time she learned a few things with it is willing to open up her hearted shirt with us and appreciative.

No go away.

We got more to go. This is helping is planning. Have you ever struggled to trust God when lousy things happen to you. I'm Gracie Rosenberger in 1983 I experienced a horrific car accident leading 80 surgeries in both legs.

AP take it. I questioned why God allowed something so brutal to happen to me. But over time the questions changed and I discovered courage to trust God that understanding along with an appreciation for quality prosthetic limbs led me to establish standing with help more than a dozen years we been working with the government of Ghana and West Africa, equipping and training local workers to build and maintain quality prosthetic limbs for their own people on a regular basis. We purchased ship equipment and supplies and with the help of inmates in Tennessee prison. We also recycle parts from donated lambs. All of this is to point others to Christ.

The source of my help and strength, please visit standing with help.com to learn more and participate in lifting others that standing without.com. I'm Gracie and I am staining with help Rosenberger to my 3 1/2 decades as a caregiver. I've spent my share of nights in the hospital sleeping and waiting room some foldout cot shares. Even the floor sometimes on sofas and a few times in the doghouse. But let's still talk about that as caregivers we have to sleep with uncomfortable places, but we don't have to be miserable. We use pillows for my pillows.co things are great to have a patented interlocking field adjuster your individual sleep needs of her caregivers try to sleep in all the different places we have to sleep leave me our needs get ripped up significantly. But how clean your pillows are in the covert world were all fanatical about clean. Can you wash your pillows with my pillows for my pillow.com we throw in the washer and dryer. We do all the time 10 year warranty guaranteed not to go flat 60 day moneyback guarantee made in the USA is a caregiver you need rest. I go to my pillow.com type in the promo code caregiver you get 50% off the four pack which includes two premium pillows and to go anywhere, pillows also receive a discount on anything else on the website. When using your promo code caregiver is my pillow.com promo code caregiver 24 seven emergency support increasing safety, reducing isolation, these things are more important than ever. As we deal with the challenges of cobra 19.

How about your vulnerable loved ones. We can always check on them or be there in ways we like. That's why there's constant companion seamlessly weaving technology and personal attention to help push back against the isolation while addressing the critical safety issues of our vulnerable loved ones and their caregivers. Constant companion is the solution for families today. Staying connected staying safe. It's smart, easy, and incredibly affordable. Go to www.mycompanion247.com today. That's my companion. 247.com connection and independence for you and those you care about my companion. 247.com by what Nancy befriended to commission-year-old on the show and she's a lifelong friend of Gracie's mind and hubris roommates in college and she I looked it up. Luke 423 that's worse.

This position, he'll have it in the gospel look I you know I stayed right John Abeche' job. I bow my head in grief and sorrow could lament loudly. I should've known this, but you I am ashamed but were talking about the journey of of closing out the estate closing out the home closing out the that the closure of emotionally and physically and fiscally.

Of all the things are involved in and where to even start with something like that and you know I've I've struggled in times like that because I don't think anybody will Gracie had a wreck at you but expect to live. They settled did you expect to live the night. When you found out about it, not listen to see her grandchildren. Now I'm try to think of what cut a world of belief or Gracie Keith Richards, Betty White yeah you know of you know what I do, but this was this was a particularly difficult situation.

You had to step into leadership on multiple levels and you went in there if you were if you were talking to other folks what what you are talking to the folks and people just now starting to dip their toes into that particular stream.

What would be the first place that you would have them start before the break, talking about hellish steelhead set us up for success that was your mother that yes my mother lolly silk commish.

She her story is more marketable.

She became the wound by adults in the rain. When her father passed when she was 14 years old and he started doing the books for all of the businesses that he was in charge and the story is phenomenal about how you know she never really learned to cook. My father-in-law taught her to cook and she was all about the financial and investing in an banking and paying bills and paying sharecroppers and paying employee, etc. and it the story again that's off subject but the thing remains. She was prepared for that. She had been preparing a lifetime for her child because she needed being an only child. He would need he would need someone strong to help him treat it all. We'll need someone strong I cannot. I don't mean that dismissively we all need someone strong because when we become an orphan.

It is traumatic and when you especially for him. They knew all of his story being adopted and with a closed adoption. They knew all the story so the fact that she had everything written down things that we would have never known if she had told and written it down almost anything right now as a 56-year-old woman. I am beginning to realize I need to be writing anything down. I need to have someone now as a 56-year-old woman prepared to help me go through not just an attorney, but someone who can tell me the ugly tree and beaten in live. I doubt hey, this is something you need to prepare for your child or your children. I am to Stern. I have that, you know, we basically have to only we have 126 and we have one just turned 17 and you talk about different you know I mean one could one could with help manage at the moment we have one we have an even gotten out of the house at a high school so just thought I told you that there we have grandchildren to just look at what high school did Joel just figured out but you have two sons and I know that the UK is is is your youngest what I mean he's not out of the house and that that is a scary place and I know these are these are hard things that I think writing it down on me.I love that just just writing it down just have that box in the closet, thing is that one person you can absolutely not everybody had person if you're blessed to have now that's one thing but if you are not blessed your spell for half what ever the condition of your life that you find yourself oh my gosh I am I'm in the middle of this disaster that could be a disaster if I don't get my hands wrapped around it. My mind wrapped around it.

I had online that I can trust to tell me that Lori, I doubt hey this little detail of life. This little detail of what's left behind or whatever, you can't drop this because it can I be way bigger. Afterwards, more hey honey let that slot let that flat and affectionate later. You know me I'm a perfectionist and oh my word I split the list that would slow to pay you Joyce. This was thrust upon the spiritual will be good to say John will know just that I think that is very important. Both of those deserve.

It's hard it's hard pick which one is more important. I don't think they are think that that they both deserve equal emphasis that for something to be able to look look you write me.

I know that this is this is not going to affect the relationship or that everybody still to be friends or family after this.

Is this conversation happens, but to have somebody who can tell you hey this is really important and also the minute we start obsessing over something you just get wrapped all set for the right or whatever small stuff. Don't sweat it now. This is a mouse. This is a subject were going to have to revisit more than one time this summer. Have you back on another time with this and I may have Jan with Gracie at the same but it okay I am ready for coffee let you do have is something that is a love that write it down, start writing it down and then have that friend who can freely speak truth to power" that will get in your face until you hey this is the way this is the way and I will spread on everything in their creator.

We got five very very nice, very gracious living room.

Peter Rosenberger is Nancy this and I think you help the caregivers make better characters will see next week. This is John Butler and I produce hope for the caregiver with Peter Rosenberger. Some of you know the remarkable story of Peter's wife Gracie and recently Peter talk to Gracie about all the wonderful things that have emerged from her difficult journey. Take a listen Gracie. When you envision doing a prosthetic limb outreach. Did you ever think that inmates would help you do that, not in a million years. When you go to the facility run by core civic and you see the faces of these inmates that are working on prosthetic limbs that you have helped collect from all of the country that you put out the plea for and their disassembly sell these legs like what you have your own prosody and arms and arms everything when you see all this. What do you make me cry because I see the smiles on their faces and I know I know what it is to be locked someplace where you can't get out without somebody else allowing you to get out course, being in the hospital so much and so long and so that these men are so glad that they get to be doing as as one man said something good family with my hands.

Did you know before you became an amputee that parts of prosthetic limbs could be recycled now had no idea and I thought a peg leg.

I thought of wooden legs. I never thought of titanium and carbon legs and flex feet. The legs and all that. I never thought about that as you watch these inmates participate in something like this, knowing that there there helping other people to walk the providing the means for the supplies to get over there. What is it do to you. Just on the heart level.

I wish I could explain to the world. What I see in here and I wish that I could be able to go and say the this guy right here Denise go to Africa with us.

I never not feel that way out every time you know you always make me have to leave. I don't want to leave them.

II feel like I'm at home with them and I feel like that we have a common bond that would've never expected that only God could put together. Now that you've had experience with it what you think of the faith-based programs. The core civic offers. I think they're just absolutely awesome and I think every prison out there should have faith-based programs like this because the return rate of the men that are involved in this particular faith-based program and other ones like it, but I know about this one are. It is just an amazingly low rate compared to those who don't happen and I think that that says so much that doesn't have anything to do with me just has something to do with God uses somebody broken to help other broken people.

If people want to donate or use prosthetic limbs, whether from a love one who passed away or you know somebody well-groomed you donated some of your own for the head out of the do that please go to standing with hope.com/recycle staining with hope.com/recycle backspace one of our generous sponsors here. The Truth Network has come under fire fire from the enemy fire for standing up for family values. Actually one of the biggest supporters of the movie unplanned. The talked about the horrors of abortion. Yes, it's Mike Lindell. You've heard me talk about his pillows for a long long time and no doubt big business is responding to Mike Lindell and all this generosity for causes for the kingdom by trying to shut down his business. You can't buy pillows at Kohl's anymore. You can get them on Amazon or you can get them at Cosco there attempting to close his business because he stood up for kingdom values. What a chance to respond, especially if you need a pillow. I've had my mail for years and years and years and still fluffs up as wonderful as ever. Queen-size pillows are just 2998.

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