Hope for the Caregiver 12-2-2018

Live from Nashville, Tennessee, this is Hope for the Caregiver, the nation's number one show for the family caregiver. I am Peter Rosenberger bringing you three decades of experience to help you stay strong and healthy as you take care of someone who is not. 65 million Americans are on this journey right now taking care of a loved one, some kind of impairment, and they're putting themselves between that loved one and even worse, disaster. How do you help the caregiver?

What does it look like? Do you know the vocabulary? Do you know what's going on with the caregiver? Do you know how to speak to that? And if you are a caregiver, do you know what's going on with your own heart enough to ask for help?

Do you feel confident? Number one, asking for help and understand what that help looks like and then receiving that help. That's what we're going to deal with on this show and every show that we deal with. It is Hope for the Caregiver. It is not a show to teach you how to care give. I can't help you take care of your loved one anymore and you help me take care of mine.

80 surgeries, multiple amputations, well over 80, 90, 100 doctors, 10 million dollars. This is the journey I've been on and I've learned a few things through this journey and I've learned that the real battle for the family caregiver is not in health care. That's important and you got to get it.

You got to have it. It's a self-correcting problem. If you don't have it, well, it's going to identify itself for you that you're going to have to fix this issue but once you got it, you got it and once you know how to deal with it and work with insurance companies, you got it.

Is it dealing with doctors? Once you know how to do that, you know how to do that. You don't have to, it's a one and done. You don't have to keep repeating it and I've learned over three decades that the real issue for the family caregiver is a matter of the heart. You could throw money at a situation as a caregiver. I was talking to some folks who were going through some brutal times. They had all the money, more money they could ever spend in two or three lifetimes and you could just see the stress and the heartache. So it wasn't money, it's the matters of the heart. If your heart is squirrelly and broken to pieces and just ripped apart, if your head is just like a squirrel cage with six of them in there, you're not going to make good decisions in that journey no matter how much money, no matter how many resources you have.

So we need to back away from those cliffs as caregivers and help each other stay strong and healthy so we can make better choices in it, live a calmer, healthier and even more joyful life. If that's where you are today, you're in the right place. 800-688-9522.

800-688-9522. This is the first of December so we like to start off with a lot of Christmas things so we'll have great music later on in the show. Speaking of great music, you know him, you love him. He's the Baron of the Board, the Sultan of Sound, the Earl of Engineering, the man whose stockings are hung from the ceiling with care.

He is John Butler, the Count of Mighty Disco, everyone. Now how'd you know? I mean, I gotta keep the kids out of them somehow. Well they're so long they can't fit. I'm only 5'17", Peter, I don't know what you're talking about. I mean, the man is tall. How tall is he?

The man can hunt geese with a rake. Hey, listen, you're looking dapper today for those who can't see because John, sometimes he's on video but most of the time he's not because we haven't really got the right angle to be able to get you and it's kind of dark where you keep it in the cave over there. Well, you know, all the pictures are taken of me are from, you know, the collar down.

With you holding some kind of placard? Yeah. Are you well? It's a reverse Wilson.

A reverse Wilson. Well played. Well played. Are you well? I am well.

How about yourself? I am. It's been a big weekend.

We've had a lot of things going on and I want to give a little programming note out. It aired last night but there's a re-airing tonight of my appearance on the Huckabee show. I thought you were going to say grievances. No, there's an airing of grievances tonight. Have you seen the poll? It's another Festivus miracle. I was on my Huckabee show this weekend.

It's on TBN and airs again tonight and just had a marvelous time. I'll give you a little preview of this. Okay. I busted him up. Of course you did. And it made him laugh. It made him laugh hard. And so take a look at it and see.

It'll be on tonight 7 Central, 8 Eastern on Trinity Broadcasting Network and I think you'll find it quite, I think you'll like it. I'm a little scared. Which pun? Well, no, no. There's no punnage but it was a lot of fun. It was a lot of fun. We had a good time and just a wonderful guy and Mrs. Huckabee was there. Gracie came out to the thing there and it was wonderful and Mrs. Huckabee and Gracie just really connected very well and he did like my Trump impersonation.

Oh, of course. His daughter works for the president so I was like, she's doing a great job. She's fabulous.

She's so awesome. But just a great guy and I enjoyed him. He was your governor. He was my governor. I met him at Boys State one time. Were you in school when he was governor?

Yes, that's correct. Okay. Now, you were never in school when Bill Clinton was, I mean, well, you were... I was in grade school and I met him too, actually, because we, you know, school kids take tours of the Capitol and things like that. But yeah, I was a kid for that. Well, the guy, he's a very sharp guy and a very, very personal guy. Yes. You know, I've met a lot of politicians over the years and...

I'm sorry. Some of them just have it. They've just got this magnetism about them. They just love people. They love being around people and then others, you know, not so much. I kind of wonder why they got into it, you know, because they look just so dour, you know? Look, you can't go pulling out the big vocab words, all right? That's just dour. I had no idea, John.

That's from the $6 column on the big board of words. Jerry, tell them what he's won. Well, and then there's an interview I did with Sandy Rios in the morning. She's on American Family Radio throughout the week doing a government policy and political show.

But on Friday, she does an extended interview. And I did that with her. She had a daughter with special needs. For 20 years, she took care of her. And then the daughter ended up passing away.

But it was a pretty tough journey for her. And we just had a marvelous conversation. And that's available out on afr.net on their podcast. And I'm gonna put it on my website as well. And, oh, Hope for the Caregiver and Seven Caregiver Landmines. These are two books. Yeah, these are both of my books. My new book is Seven Caregiver Landmines and How You Can Avoid Them. And both of them shot up on the charts in Amazon.

They were number three and number four for Kindle books for caregivers. Hey, right on, man. I was like, well, right. Oh, there you go.

I mean, I was like, hmm. I'm always glad when you when you say the full title Seven Caregiver Landmines and How You Can Avoid Them, that's the important bit that I... Well, this is such a difficult time for caregivers. Thanksgiving kind of marks the unofficial season of, hey, this is gonna be tough, you know, for us as caregivers. And so friends don't let friends caregiver alone.

Okay. We just don't do it. I mean, we've got to reach into people's challenges with a practical lifeline. And that's what I wrote Seven Caregiver Landmines and How You Can Avoid Them for, because it's just a field manual for caregivers. You can pick it up and it's less than seven bucks. I mean, I aggregated a lifetime of experience into a little seven dollar book.

Well, and it's just little tiny things that will work today that will help you as a family caregiver right now, not six months from now, today, right now, months from now, today, right now. Yeah. You've talked about this being not a book that you read front to back. No. This is... No. You can start at the end of it and read it, you know, Hebrew style back, you know.

There you go. Right to left. I think you have to unroll the entire thing. There is that parchment scroll. But it's, no, it's a very easy book to read.

You can pick it up and look at any spot, but I would highly recommend it. And I'm gonna do the audio book starting next week, John. I'm gonna work on that to have it available. The Hope for the Caregiver is an audio book, but I want to just put these out there because we're going into a very difficult time as family caregivers. We're busy trying to make it special for someone else. We got a lot of pressure on us already. And then we try to take on more than we can.

And we tend to put on so much on us, we just kind of, it's gonna pop out somewhere, you know. And that brings us to our caregiver tip of the day. Our caregiver tip of the day brought to you by Standing with Hope, standingwithhope.com. And that is the presenting sponsor of this show. That is the organization that Gracie and I started many years ago.

We have two programs. It's for the wounded and those who care for them. We have a prosthetic limb outreach. Supplies are going out this week. I had to delay it a couple of days because I had to order some other items in and we got it.

Everything's ready to go. Should go out this week over to West Africa so we can continue putting legs on folks but I got some little feet in this week. Little feet.

Because there's a couple of kids that have come in. We need pediatric feet and we just, we couldn't, we recycle prosthetic limbs. And so we collect limbs from come all over the country but most of them are going to be adults. And we don't get enough pediatric limbs that come in. Even though kids are outgrowing them all the time, for whatever reason, they're not making their way to us. So if you know somebody whose child has a prosthetic limb and they're outgrowing it and getting a new one, please don't let anybody throw that away.

We'll take it. But there's a great company up in Ohio, Ohio Willowwood, and they sent us some feet, a box of feet, of little feet. You know feet are a standard length, right, Peter?

Nothing. Little feet. Isn't that a band? No, I think Little Foot.

Well, maybe there's more than one band. What do you do? What does this show turn into? Oh, thank you very little. But we've got some pediatric feet, so we got them in. But standingwithhope.com, you can be a part of that.

It's the end of the year right now. Your tax deductible gift will help continue this work of putting legs on Gracie's fellow amputees, helping us do this show. Standingwithhope.com. Go out there today, please, and take a look at how you can get involved.

Here's our caregiver tip of the day as we go into the holiday season. Pause. Pause.

P-A-U-S-E. Pause. Please avoid using sarcastic energy. Pause. Please. Look, I would appreciate if you would just tag me in the post next time, all right?

I'd love to tell you I own this, but this is something I do. Because I think sometimes as caregivers, it's too easy for us to be sarcastic. And it's okay to have fun being sarcastic. I mean, we do that all the time here. But there's a point when you're under a lot of pain and stress that that sarcastic energy comes out as biting.

With some vitriol. Yeah. And so pause.

P-A-U-S-E. Pause. Please avoid using sarcastic energy. Sometimes as caregivers, we have to bite our tongues and learn to like the taste of blood. Sometimes you have to do that. And that's okay. I rarely have to make amends for something I didn't say. Which is why you have a radiant way.

Rarely have to make amends for something I didn't say. Hey, listen, this is Hope for the Caregiver. You can follow along on Facebook Live.

And at Hope for the Caregiver, you can also call in 800-688-9522. We always love to hear from you. And we've got more to go. Don't go away. We're so glad you're with us. I'm Peter Rosenberger.

We'll be right back. Here's some great news. If you missed the deadline to sign up for health insurance, or if you signed up for a plan you're not happy with, you still have a choice. MediShare is a health care sharing program.

Hundreds of thousands of Christians are part of this. It can save you a lot. Typical savings for a family is about 500 bucks a month. You can join MediShare anytime. It's easy to call and look into it.

There's no pressure at all. And man, what a difference it can make. 855-25-SHARE.

That's 855-25-SHARE. Have you ever struggled to trust God when lousy things happen to you? I'm Gracie Rosenberger, and in 1983, I experienced a horrific car accident, leading to 80 surgeries and both legs amputated. I questioned why God allowed something so brutal to happen to me.

But over time, my questions changed, and I discovered courage to trust God. That understanding, along with an appreciation for quality prosthetic limbs, led me to establish Standing with Hope. For more than a dozen years, we've been working with the government of Ghana and West Africa, equipping and training local workers to build and maintain quality prosthetic limbs for their own people. On a regular basis, we purchase and ship equipment and supplies.

And with the help of inmates in a Tennessee prison, we also recycle parts from donated limbs. All of this is to point others to Christ, the source of my hope and strength. Please visit standingwithhope.com to learn more and participate in lifting others up. That's standingwithhope.com.

I'm Gracie, and I am standing with hope. I just love this, John. This is And the Glory of the Lord from the Messiah. This is the Atlanta Symphony years ago under the direction of Robert Shaw, the fabulous Robert Shaw. Is that his stage name?

No. And this is one of my favorite pieces from Handel's Messiah, and we're here in the Advent season here, and I just love this. Our choir and orchestra sang this this morning at church, and they just hooked it, and it was just beautiful. So that's a good way to start off the Advent season, and I want to give a big shout out to all the folks at Stevens Valley Church. That was just wonderful this morning in the choir, so thank you for that. Hey, welcome back to the show, Four Caregivers About Caregivers, hosted by a caregiver.

This is Peter Rosenberger. I am so glad you are with us. We are on a mission to help strengthen the family caregiver. We want to equip them to navigate through the challenges of caring for someone with an impairment, and that impairment may be a disease, a trauma. It could be all kinds of things, you know, and we've also expanded this to mental illness and to addiction issues and so forth.

Any type of impairment, there's somebody standing between that person and even worse disaster. That's who we're on a mission to help. You could be a part of that if you want to call on the show today. 800-688-9522.

800-688-9522, and we're glad you're with us. Tune in again. I want to just reiterate this tonight. Tune in again tonight at seven o'clock on TBN, seven o'clock central on TBN.

You can see my appearance on the Mike Huckabee Show and talk a little bit about this subject. It was just a great time, and I hope you enjoy it. Also, we'll have several op-eds in the paper this week, and I'll try to put that out on our website and our Facebook page, Hope for the Caregiver. The website is hopeforthecaregiver.com, and the Facebook page is facebook.com, you know, Hope for the Caregiver. We try to keep everything kind of simple around here, and the podcast is free, too, by the way, and you can get all of that at hopeforthecaregiver.com, and would you take a look at it and see all the resources that we're putting out there for you to take advantage of as you go through this time.

This is a difficult time for the family caregiver. The holidays are just difficult. There's just no way around it. It's just hard, okay? Don't do this alone.

Friends don't let friends caregiver alone, okay? And that brings us to today's senior moment. Today's senior moment brought to you by our friends at Morning Point Senior Living and Memory Care Center, morningpoint.com, P-O-I-N-T-E.

There's an E at the end of that point. morningpoint.com, and today's senior moment. And when I say friends don't let friends caregiver alone, here's something that I'm just asking you to consider for our time. A lot of seniors right now through the holidays, they're trying to do a lot of things for others, for themselves.

You've got seniors taking care of seniors. Just be cognizant. I'm just asking for you to be cognizant. Remember in Raisin, Arizona, when you said we released ourselves on our own recognizances? I can't get that out of my mind. So when I say cognizant, be aware of the 27, 8, but 10 glossies with the circles and arrows in the paragraph on the back.

Be aware of seniors taking care of seniors and offer to help with some stuff, some extra groceries that you can just bring by. The weather outside is... Finish it for me, John. No.

Okay. The weather is at times rather challenging. The traffic is always kind of funky at this time of year. It's darker earlier, and it's hard for seniors to try to do a lot of the things they do. So just be aware.

Maybe you can pick out a couple of things at the grocery store. Maybe you could say, hey, look, can I help you get some of your Christmas cards, things such as that. Can I bring something to you instead of making them get out and have to feel like they've got to get out and do things like that. It's just a simple way.

Seniors are not known for wanting to drive at night, depending on who they are and what's going on, but they don't like to particularly drive at night. And night is early this time of year, and people are trying to hustle and bustle. We never know the pain we're saved from, but we can be proactive and try to offer some help to this and speak in a way that makes sense to folks to say, look, we can help with this thing. You don't have to do something exotic. You don't have to go all crazy about it. Maybe it's just that somebody needs to just blow off the leaves from their walkway so that they don't trip on wet leaves. I mean, simple things like that. Just look at the gutters.

Make sure the gutters are okay. If you get a chance, just look after each other. You know, we've got enough vitriol in this world.

And I think if we just kind of look after one another, that would be a great Christmas gift to ourselves. And you know what? Do it anonymously if you can. Thank you. Do it anonymously if you can. There are times I have done things for someone else, and I wouldn't tell them who I was.

I didn't tell them anything about it. I just did it. That is a wonderful thing to do. So look for ways to kind of do that. There are ways to kind of do these things, but don't make a production about it. Just do it. I think that honors this time of year better.

I think it honors God better. If we're not trying to just make ourselves the center of all that, just do it. And look for ways to be kind to each other. And in the process, also be kind to yourself as well. So that's our today's senior moment. And we've got more to go. Do you know how to pick out a social worker?

Do you know how to do that? Do you know what to look for? What not to look for?

What to kind of avoid? Come on back. We're going to talk about that in a minute, because we talk about utilizing social workers a lot. Let's make sure we get the right one for you. 800-688-9522. 800-688-9522. This is Peter Rosenberger. Hope for the caregiver.

We'll be right back. Here's some great news. If you missed the deadline to sign up for health insurance, or if you signed up for a plan you're not happy with, you still have a choice. MediShare is a health care sharing program.

Hundreds of thousands of Christians are part of this. It can save you a lot. Typical savings for a family is about 500 bucks a month. You can join MediShare anytime. It's easy to call and look into it.

There's no pressure at all. And man, what a difference it can make. 855-25-SHARE.

That's 855-25-SHARE. Have you ever struggled to trust God when lousy things happen to you? I'm Gracie Rosenberger. And in 1983, I experienced a horrific car accident leading to 80 surgeries and both legs amputated. I questioned why God allowed something so brutal to happen to me.

But over time, my questions changed and I discovered courage to trust God. That understanding, along with an appreciation for quality prosthetic limbs, led me to establish Standing with Hope. For more than a dozen years, we've been working with the government of Ghana and West Africa, equipping and training local workers to build and maintain quality prosthetic limbs for their own people. On a regular basis, we purchase and ship equipment and supplies.

And with the help of inmates in a Tennessee prison, we also recycle parts from donated limbs. All of this is to point others to Christ, the source of my hope and strength. Please visit standingwithhope.com to learn more and participate in lifting others up. That's standingwithhope.com.

I'm Gracie, and I am standing with hope. Welcome back to the show for Caregivers About Caregivers, hosted by a caregiver. I am Peter Rosenberger, bringing you three decades of experience.

That's not one, that's not two, that's three decades of experience to help you stay strong and healthy as you take care of someone who is not. You want to be a part of the show? 800-688-9522.

800-688-9522. And I love the music of the season. I just do, John, so thank you for that.

Is it good for your soul? Yeah. And that's Andy Williams too. Oh, yeah. You just can't, you know, I got a buddy of mine who has that as his ringtone, but he never chased it. So all year long, it's just every time you call him, you get that, and now it's finally caught up. Well, that's like not changing your clocks for daylight savings time, you know. Are you supposed to? That would certainly explain a lot.

Yeah. One of the things we talk about on this show often is the need for us as caregivers to have some professional help involved with us to navigate through the system. And the system could be the healthcare system, it could be the hospice system, it could be the hospital system itself, it could be Medicare.

There's so many different components of this and it can overwhelm you, it really can. And I refer a lot of folks out to social workers because I think they are the workhorses of this whole industry and they bring a wealth of information. And I've got a friend of mine who's been doing this for some time and she's on the phone with me, her name is Trinity. And Trinity is a social worker and I wanted to get her thoughts on what we can do to look for good ones, bad ones, you know, that kind of thing. I mean, what are some criteria? If you're interviewing a social worker, don't just take the first person comes in door. Let's ask some qualifying questions or let's do some background work. Let's make sure we've got the right match for us. And so Trinity, you with me? I sure am. God love you for it. And thank you for doing this. You're my go-to counselor for this. And do you feel like a consultant?

Yes, I do. And because you gave me a heads up, 20 minutes interacting spontaneously. So pre-planning has just thrown me for a loop. Well, don't try not to play. John and I avoid planning if at all possible. I've been told to avoid it by my doctor. I'm under medical advice.

But I'll never forget when I started doing the show and the stations said, look, we don't want you scripting the show. And I said, oh, that's not going to be a problem. All right. So social workers can be in a tremendous resource. You are a tremendous resource to many people.

You have been there for a lot of families, a lot of individuals, but people don't know about this a lot. They don't know necessarily what to do. And I just thought we throw out a couple of things of what we need to do. If we need a social worker in our life, what are some scenarios that would say we need a social worker?

First off, how about that? How would we know, okay, do I need to make this decision to get a social worker involved? If your family person or the person you're responsible for is distant or you're going to be unavailable for a while. Let's say you're a distant caregiver, but then you're having surgery or treatments and you're not going to be available for a while.

So you have someone who has eyes on your person. If there's a family stress or strife, social workers tend to be pretty skilled in juggling family dynamics. Well, and see, I'm getting that a lot. I get that a lot from so many different folks that the family is just kind of coming unraveled. And that's one of the first go-tos I have with a social worker. So that's good to hear you reaffirm that because families really are just, and pastors, God love them. They really do try to help with that, but social workers bring a different set of skills to that conflict. That's a fair statement, I wouldn't you think?

Yes. And every caregiver might not be doing a good job because I was involved in that situation, but also everyone who's not the caregiver knows how the caregiver should do it better. That's the truth, John. I know that's never happened to you, Peter.

No, no, no. I like it when people sit up in the stands and yell out what I should be calling for the line of scrimmage. I'm a fantastic heckler.

I believe you, John. Yeah. I mean, you know, there's, there's always people that will come along and parachute in and say, you shouldn't be doing this.

You should be doing this. And so, yeah, that happens. But so a social worker can be there as a neutral party and evaluate. Maybe the caregiver needs respite or maybe the social worker needs to help the family members tone down the advice. So that is one situation. Well, and see, that's the thing. A lot of caregivers feel like they need respite, but they don't think it's available.

And you and I've talked about this a lot. There are a lot of different things that could be available. It may not be ideal, but it's better, it's better than the caregiver working themselves into a grave. Absolutely.

And that's happening. And sometimes if the funds are available, some nursing homes provide respite. So if you're a family members at home and you have a family wedding to go to, so you'll be unavailable for a while, but then that nursing homes are not inexpensive, but you know, your person's safe. They're getting good medical care.

They're getting their medications and all that is available, but a social worker will know what's available in your area. All right. So you've got family dynamics that are going on. You've got distant, and that, by the way, the family is spread out. I mean, we've had the family diaspora now. And so, John, did you catch that word? I just want you to.

I did pull it from the $12 column. But the families are spread all over the country. And so this, that's a real deal that's happening because you've got somebody checking on somebody that are three states away. So that's a scenario that if you've got a family spread out, if you've got family conflict or dynamics, everybody's at each other's throats, social workers can bring some of those dynamics and then I got one other thing. Talk about when you have like a special needs child and you want to get them into some type of path. Is that an area where caregivers can help map that path out a little bit, whether it's voc rehab, special schools, all that kind of stuff?

Is that, is that in the, in the bailiwick of a caregiver? I mean, of a social worker? Social worker.

Absolutely. Because the social worker will know what's available in your area. Like this week, I did some research and I got discouraged because I, each state is so different. The certifications a social worker might have will be so different. So I dare not throw around fancy letters on what they need to have after their name. But I did come up with a list of places where you might be able to find the private practice social worker who specializes in either vulnerable patients, and that can be the special needs child all the way through the geriatric patient. But they'll know what's in your specific state and area. All right. Well, let me ask you this. You've got, just because they're a social worker doesn't mean they're necessarily trained or equipped to deal with special needs children or geriatric parents.

So you're going to have to find a subspecialty. Is that, that didn't used to be the case, but I guess it is now, isn't it? It could be. It could be that the group I dealt with in Iowa for my friend's mom, the friend's mom was in a nursing home. They had a nurse on staff and they had several social workers. So the nurse on staff would go to the doctor's appointments with the person. So, and this was with the geriatric individual, but they also work with special needs children. So when you're interviewing the social worker, find out what their area of specialty is. Don't just, not everybody does good work. And I know there are families I worked with that did not like my approach, which is fine.

You know, we don't want every auto mechanic to work on our car. Well, can you believe that, John, that somebody would not like her approach? Oh, I guess that's right outside.

The saint of a woman, the saint of a woman. I mean, I'm a direct shooter and some people like a little bit gentle handholding, which I can do, but when I'm confronted with violence in a home, oh no, that goes right out the door. Well, yeah.

And I can, and you have been, and there's all of that, and then some. I was talking to somebody the other day, by the way, and I'm going to throw this at the lightning round at you. I know you like this sort of thing, but I was talking to somebody the other day and a friend of mine and his father started striking him and his elderly father. Now, this buddy of mine is a former football player and a martial arts expert, and so his father's not going to hurt him. His father's an older man, but he was becoming very, very aggressive and it surprised my friend. And he was able to basically calm, diffuse the situation down and so forth. But there's all this kinds of stuff that is starting to happen and people are overwhelmed by it.

Now, because he's a big guy and he could handle himself and he could deal with his father and calm him down. And dementia will do that. We did a whole, John, you remember that when we did the show about dementia when they have like basically scuba vision.

And I gave him some tips from that show. But you're having violence. And if that guy had been dealing with his smaller wife that was taken care of, for example, could have really hurt her. And is that a situation where you would step in as a social worker? I mean, in your field where social workers come in and they say, OK, here's here's how we can back away from this and start developing a better plan. Is that is that a social worker's job at that point to come? Is that is that in your scope? Yes. You know, the lightning round always has me stumped. You are no Alex Trebek. You know, you just did this to rattle my cage.

I did. Hopefully the social worker is not there in the home at the time. But if your person has dementia or mental illness where they get more distressed late in the day.

Then it might be something where the caregiver needs to have an additional person in the home during that period of time when the sundowners causes violence. Well, and that's that's things that caregivers aren't thinking clearly sometimes because we're so distraught. And so this is why I'm exhausted. And we are. And this is why I push them to your field.

All right. Now, so we want to qualify whether or not what what area of expertise they have. And then what are some what are some other just a tip or two when you're interviewing a social worker? Well, the things that are important to me is ask the social worker specifically what services they provide. So, you know, upfront what to expect from them. So then you're not disappointed and and call you up and say, that woman you had on said they cover everything. Well, every social worker doesn't cover everything. You also need to ask them how long they've been in private practice.

I'm writing all these things. They just hung their shingle out. And they're 23.

Well, I was thinking 21 and raised in a gated community and been sheltered. Tell me how you really feel. Don't hold back now, baby. Don't hold back. Well, now that's but that's good to know.

How long have they been doing this? And then and then now last question before we go to the break here, then we got to wrap it up. But last question.

Okay. What about funds? What where did the where do the funds come for charge? They're mostly private pay in private practice.

Now, if you want me to hang around till after the break, I have some suggestions on where to find them. And some of those groups might be paid by other programs, like insurance companies or what? Possibly depending on what kind of coverage, like if long term care coverage. But like some probate courts work with a lot of case managers. All right.

Yeah, yes. Particularly when there's family dynamic issues going on. Okay, so they'll have them and I know that a lot of doctors offices are starting to incorporate a social worker into their clinic. I got a buddy of mine is a neurologist that has that on staff now.

And they're dealing with that because of so many patients with Alzheimer's and so forth. Well, look, the doctor's office, they will let me know if you want me to stay on. Yeah, let me let me get through the break here. And we'll we'll wrap this up here right after the break. Just thanks for the tips on this. This is my friend Trinity talking about talking about social workers and how valuable they can be to the family caregiver. A lot of things we got to consider.

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And with the help of inmates in a Tennessee prison, we also recycle parts from donated limbs. All of this is to point others to Christ, the source of my hope and strength. Please visit standingwithhope.com to learn more and participate in lifting others up. That's standingwithhope.com.

I'm Gracie, and I am standing with hope. Oh, that's tasty, John. Tasty.

Just deliciousness. Just wonderful. Hey, welcome back to the show for caregivers.

This is Peter Rosenberger. I am thrilled you're here. This is Hope for the Caregiver, the nation's number one show for the family caregiver. We're so glad that you're part of it.

800-688-9522. We're going to wrap up our conversation with my friend Trinity, who is a social worker and gives me good tips throughout the week. I run things by her all the time of what we need to look for as caregivers to help us with it. And she gave us a couple of good tips here on what we need to look for in a caregiver.

When a scenario, let me review. If you've got family dynamics that are just the families just at each other's throat, that's the time for a social worker. If the family is spread apart, and you've got a loved one in another state that's going through some stuff, and you're way away and halfway across the country, whatever, that's the time for a social worker. These are things you want to look for. And a lot of times doctors' offices will have them. A lot of them are in private practice. So here's some things that she said to go ahead and interview them with, find out what their area of expertise is, and then how long have they been in private practice.

And that's very important to know because you don't want somebody that just freshly out of school with the ink still drawn on the diploma, depending on your situation. I doubt that's what you want. You want somebody with a little bit of experience to them. And then you want to ask how much they charge.

Just ask them, how much do you charge? Now there are some times it'll be paid for through various things. There's sometimes maybe even insurance. You may have a policy that'll cover something to that. I don't know. But you want to have that information up front so that you know what's going on. All right, last tip. Trinity, anything you want to add to that? Yes. Ask them for references. Uh-huh.

There you go. I didn't get a reference on John. You didn't get a reference on me either. Yeah, but I know you.

Now I know John. Well, if you're uncomfortable with a social worker, follow that gut instinct. That's good advice.

Absolutely. If it feels funky, back away. You know, there's nobody pushing you to do that. Well, listen, Trinity, thank you. You're going to have to do this again, and I won't give you much warning. But you have to do this again, because this is not going to go away.

This is an issue that so many people have never really thought about. And I remember the first time a social worker helped me. We were dealing with some hospital stuff with Gracie, and it was overwhelming me. And the hospital social worker came by and just sat down and talked with me. And I thought, well, this is helpful.

Why haven't I known about these people before this, you know? And they were very helpful people. And so I want to make sure people know that every kind of resource is available to the family caregiver.

Friends don't let friends caregiver alone. And so thank you for this, okay? Amen. You have a great evening, Peter. All right. Behave yourself. All right.

Listen, we're going to wrap it up. Oh, I want to say something. I've had the opportunity to meet some interesting people in my life. One of those people, and I've met him three times, two times, was George Herbert Walker Bush. And I had the pleasure of meeting him. Gracie and I sat in the box at the 2004 Republican National Convention in Madison Square Gardens. After we performed, we opened up the event that night.

Gracie is the first woman with a disability to sing at any political parties convention. And we were sitting there and here comes George and Barbara. And they sat right in front of us. And when I introduced him to Gracie, the former president stood up to meet Gracie. And Bob Dole was with him.

And he was just such a gentleman. And Gracie's prosthetic legs were right kind of caddycorded to Barbara's eyes, almost right between George and Barbara. And she just kept reaching up and patting Gracie's legs. I don't know why she was doing that, but she just kept doing it. And then later... She's her grandma.

She gets to do what she wants. She was, yeah. And so then we met George Herbert Walker Bush again when Gracie sang for an event that he spoke at here in Nashville. And it was a real touching time. And she reminded her that time. And I put a picture out there. I gave it to Gracie and it's of the two of them. And it was just a real sweet picture.

It's funny to watch them like that. So anyway, our deepest sympathy and gratitude to the Bush family for loaning us this extraordinary man to our country. Listen, this is Peter Rosenberger standing with hope. Today, you can be a part of helping somebody walk. Our friends at CoreCivic work with us to help inmates disassemble used prosthetic limbs. We recycle limbs. And inmates are volunteering to do this so that we can get more parts so people can walk. We need your help to help ship them over there and purchase the things that we can't recycle. Standingwithhope.com.

This Christmas, give the gift that keeps on walking. Be a part of what we're doing for the wounded and those who care for them. That's what our mission is at Standing with Hope. And we thank you for being a part. There's so much more at Standingwithhope.com. And you can see with our blogs and all that kind of stuff. Take care of yourself. Healthy caregivers make better caregivers. Today's a great day to start making healthy choices. We'll see you next week.