Hope for the Caregiver

And live out American family radio, this is hope the caregiver bring you three decades of experience to help you stay strong as a family caregiver 65 million Americans right now for serving as a caregiver world stable of aging level someone with an addiction.

Someone with a mental illness. Someone with some kind of impairment there's a caregiver stand between them and even worse disaster how to help cure what is it look like what are things that mean something to a caregiver. What are their needs. What's going on with this is what we do it on this show and we are so glad that you're with this if you want to be a part of the show.

888-589-8840 888-589-8840 and you can be a part of the show and no glad you're we are live and thrilled to be with you. This is the only show of its kind that is focused on the family caregiver and when you have this many people that are doing this and very little attention going to them how to how was it a good thing and that's why we do the show.

I would caregiver now since Reagan was president. That's a long time. I'm on my sixth president and I've learned a few things along the way of kind of the crash test dummy of caregivers and my wife is had a showroom at Carrick back in 83 N., met a couple years later she had about 20 surgeries. By the time I met her, but had recovered sufficiently enough to combat the college and just as beautiful young woman who captured my heart and then the surgery just kept coming. Eventually that we as of this year.

She had what she had to.

Earlier this year, 80 surgeries that we can count at least 8900 smaller procedures that it's hard to count those 90 doctors, 12 different hospital seven different insurance companies both of her legs amputated relentless pain and this is the world that we live in, and this is what is framed our message of understanding.

Okay, what's going on how to help somebody like me because if I go down. What happens to her and these are the issues that fellow caregivers must grapple with. We if we are not in a good place. What happens to the person were taking care of as it is usual extra for the Scripture. But I want to give a little bit of a preamble to this Boeing 888-589-8840 if you want to be part of the show. I was about in Montana right now and you can follow along on Facebook live if you go to hope for the caregiver on Facebook and like her page and you can follow along and see what were doing and CR are set at a undisclosed mountain cabin got a fire going. It's early in the morning in Montana. We are we are left by the lake and it's very early in the morning and I love it in and out as many years ago we were out it Yellowstone and we were heading back and there's a stretch of road that you got a go. Once you leave the city of West Yellowstone, Montana. That there's nothing there but the Yellowstone wilderness, which is very cool, except at night it was a little bit dark and no streetlights or anything that were used to edit started snowing very heavily. I'm in it's beautiful on you and the lights of West Hills and it was great, but as soon as we got past a certain point it just went completely dark and all we saw in front of us was just the snow skylight of the millennium falcon you know when went into hyperspace.

That's what it look like and I've got Gracie our sons there there come sleeping because it's a been a long day and an admin account of of a whole bunch of cars leaving kind of the same time had done the same road will I knew were the road was going on new along the road there was it what it would wind around the Gallatin River and it was rather treacherous and you couldn't see the road. It was covered with snow and there was nothing but white in the headlights and there was nothing but snow coming down and that's all he could see in the tail lights of the car in front of you and maybe a few ahead of them. But not many. And all you can do it for a while. I follow the taillights and it occurred to me I don't know if these people know where they're going. They could be leading me right off of the cliff writing to the river and after a while it dawned on me that I need to focus on those reflectors that the state of Montana put alongside the road of their extra tall by the way, because the snowfall to get these really tall reflectors liking each side of the road and as long as I get between those reflectors. I knew that I was not to go into the river off of the cliff or something and I can't do it and and eventually the people in front of me figured out that maybe they did know where they're going to. They do want the responsibility of all the people behind him and everybody There in front we kept pulling over and then the caravan will pass him in person. I was in the lead so that I have this huge line of people following me in this blinding snow when a huge lab about 77 cars are so I'm in front and everybody's look at my taillights at least that's probably what they're doing. I don't know. I hope there look at the reflectors but I was looking at the reflectors because I knew stay in between those reflectors, I'd be okay and so I just crept along there held the steering wheel a little tight.

They had to call it extraction team afterwards because that's a little nerve-racking. I will tell you, but eventually got to the lights of Wimbledon ago and were able to get there safely get kids to sleep in. Gracie and everybody else and they had no I don't think they really knew how much drama that was going out of my life. This house track down this dark stretch of road within the blinding snow if you ever read Laura Ingalls Wilder. There's a seaman in one of her books a little house in a very serious it reminds me of that, what her father was drown the buckboard with the horse, but that's for those he read those books which I would recommend a good book and I thought about that over the years, those reflectors those reflectors will put were put there for a reason and they guided me just reflector at a time. That's all I could see in front of me was one reflector at a time and that brings me to today Scripture which is Psalm 119, 105.

That word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path. You know, that's pretty much the way it is for us this.

He didn't say his word was a searchlight that is a lamp and sometimes rolling to see one step at a time and I wrote about this on American family Association. On the other blogs called the stand and you go out take a look@thatafa.net is called look to the reflectors and it's a it was a really powerful teaching moment for me as a caregiver to realize that I am not going to see the end result I'm going to have to just go with this slowly one reflector to time one little bit of light at a time and way too many of us as caregivers are living in the wreckage of our future will what happens if what we can do about this. What are we going to hit Haugen under this important were not to know the six women had to deal with today right here and right now and that's frustrating that scary to a lot of us.

That is unsettling and yet that's the journey, but he's also promised in Scripture. These often abandon us and those reflectors that we can count on those are just like I knew that the state of Montana did not put those things up in the blinding snow in the middle of the night they came out of the bright daylight they could.

They knew what they were doing and they put those things up alongside the road and those things are anchors for us as drivers along the stretch of road.

How much more so does God do with his word that it's an anchor force in heat input these things up willy-nilly.

He knows what he's doing, where it's going where the road goes all these things and could navigate with us safely. This was driven home to be some years ago when Gracie had a bad infection in her back after surgery and is what is probably surgery.

Number 50 or so and the surgeon came back into the room and said she's got infection and here's the protocol the slogan or to do, to stand for three months were to open her up every couple days and irrigate that out, she can't raise up more than 15° with the time our children were not you groaned they were. They were in school their kids and I looked at nobody in particular stared at the wall and I look at I just muttered I can't do this for three months in the surgeon put his hand on my shoulder and he said you negative for three much you can do it for 24 hours. Today is sufficient for itself. Tomorrow's worries will deal with that.

That's with Matthew 633 so in Matthew six is all about it and that we can't live out of the wreckage of tomorrow to deal with today, and that's how we did it. That's one of those reflector moments in God's word is like that for us and we can count on that.

You can count on their moment right now.

When you are just hanging your head or your grip in the stairwell of such fear is you want somebody you love suffer going to seizures all because the dementia looking out the window without even awareness in your struggling to come back to reflectors just where you are. Are you feeling about 888-589-8840.

This is Peter Rosenberger.

This is the caregiver hopefully caregiver.com like. Here's Pastor Alastair back from the American family Studios documentary, the God who speaks this book knows me. This book uncovers me. This book does things to me that no other dies.

Why is it that people really don't want to read the Bible because it is living and active in a way that is almost unfathomable that the spirit of God, who has inspired the inscription ration of the word of God is active in the reading of this book and in the proclaiming of this we meet with God and his word he speaks, he doesn't speak new words to us.

The Holy Spirit illumines the words that he's already spoken. If we start to look beyond that for encounters with God, we will actually be taken away from the authority and the sufficiency of the Bible. Visit the God who speaks.org gives an impetus to share your faith when you think you got answers to objections that you expect people to bring up the American family Studios video series intro to God's revelation featuring Dr. Richard how shows how God has revealed himself in nature, and his word and how we can rightly understand what God is said these truths are just a part and parcel of the Christian life.

It isn't just for the professional clergy learn the fundamentals of how to approach and understand the Bible in an age of skepticism.

This six week video curriculum is perfect for your Sunday school class or study, and it can prepare you to give a defense of God's word and how he speaks to us the nature of knowing whether and how God communicates is a safeguard against false claim about God communicated intro to God's revelation. These and workbook are available for purchase@afastore.net or call 877-927-4917 by a caregiver. This is the largest radio program for the family care at risk. Individual that person pushing a wheelchair.

That person stayed up all night doing laundry. That person standing in the hospital room quarter that person driving back and forth to the rehab center that person driving back and forth to hospice. That person is holding that a job while doing this who's cleaning up all kinds ago that the person who this show is designed reach and we are so glad you with a sign Peter Rosenberger bring you three decades of all of that and more to help you stay strong and healthy while you take care of someone who is not you will be on the show. 888-589-8840 888-589-8840 real quick. I did an interview with the journal American family radios magazine American family Association's been using this going out. Think it's good to go out after the first the year did this with Rusty Benson the other day and one of the questions asked, how would you describe your approach and manner of helping caregivers who call into the radio show. I thought that was a an interesting question and I I stated this and I think this will resonate with you will. I am fiercely protective of the family caregiver. I know that sometimes we are our own worst enemies but we also can be victimized and presumed upon by others.

It could be our loved ones, the ones were taking care of it could be family or friends who like to sit on the sidelines and critique. I don't know if anybody else has that issue, but only the church folk who want to slam us for doing it wrong or not have enough faith or or this and that you know and I we had a lot of that on the show last week and and there's that constant. I don't know what the word is that I scribbled for that but it's it's incredibly frustrating and annoying when you have people who do not walk humbly next to people who suffer in light of the sovereignty of God, and they want to come in somehow explain their theology, their doctrines, their understanding of Scripture against the backdrop of your suffering, your challenges your frustration as a caregiver and as somebody who's taking care of someone and your loved one. I've had that for years with people with Gracie and they look at her visible challenges and suffering and they want to somehow reconcile that with their doctrine. I've said for years that would my wife enters a room, people have a theological conversation in their hit because she so visibly disabled when she wears her prosthetic legs uncovered and she she cut is so exuberant, she's a beautiful woman go take a look@standingwithout.com that's the ministry. She founded to her fellow amputees and about what you could hear the featured song right now. She did a recording of Silent Night and just melt your heart.

It will truly melt your heart. It is so good you can just listen to a stream steady without.com and you could see yourself what this woman is like, but when she walks into a room, people think how can.

How can this be how can a good and loving God allow this sort of thing that I've had this conversation was so me people that I know that it's a regular occurrence would when she approaches people and so some people try to go overboard and work that out themselves and and say well it must be because of this, it must be because of this I lay a firm boundary on the show about that.

I don't want people working out their doctrine on us as caregivers are certainly on me and I will extend that to you will because I don't think we can know a lot of the sinks. Yes, sometimes stuff we deal with the self-inflicted most the stuff I feel like I've dealt with the self-inflicted.

I most own worst enemy. Sometimes, but we also have a Savior who understands this and and as far as I'm concerned it does no good to take the Bible and use it to enter webinar Scripture to beat on other people somehow make us feel better about our own doctrine. I don't know why God allows these things I really don't dirt there just think it's not like someone he allows is why does intervene on some of it I don't have any doubt that God will heal Gracie can heal Gracie wants to heal Gracie, but for whatever reason whatever purposes that he has. He chooses to allow this and trusting him to heal, trusting an all-powerful good and loving God to heal my wife it to me, that is it really take a whole lot of faith. It takes a lot more faith to trust it when he doesn't and that is that's where I lay it on this and so I've come through this for so many years with fellow caregivers who who have been brutalized by folks and I said you know 90 more to do with. I'm going to push hard to set up a boundary to give caregivers a place with a safe place where they can just breathe catch their breath taken me you don't figure out some stuff and if there's things we gotta make amends for the things we have asked forgiveness for the things we have to work through will do that will do it together but I I am not going to stand by and let other people come along who have no clue what it's like to watch somebody suffer and start you know slinging scriptures like there like there, you know the rocks and and and and pellets that people were shipped to get up close. They do it like it's a it's a cudgel they just bludgeon people with that. That does not fly. I think there's places were Scripture certainly speaks to things we need to deal with things we deal with directly and forthrightly but but caregivers are so disoriented by what we deal with sometimes it's mindnumbing what we deal with and I don't know how many of you all have watch somebody struggle with pain, intractable pain, hours and hours and hours day after day, day after day to see what that's like.

I don't know. I don't know is how many of you all done but for those of us who have enough talk to enough of us who have it is. It is truly mindnumbing as the best word it it it it it that it's the wall of noise that attacks your heart and that is deafening. You can't step into somebody who was in that state and start just slinging scriptures at a been beaten him over the head with. You've got to walk into that with humility.

You've got to walk into that with with tears in your own eyes and recognize that all of creation is groaning over this all of creation is groaning. Scripture says, knowing that it's going to be made right. But it's not now and how do we function like this.

How do we function day-to-day. How do we minister to somebody who is going to this kind of stuff. What does that look like 888-589-8840 888-589-8840 and I know that some of you right now are struggling with that because you have been like that if you been so isolated by that you feel so ashamed of what's going on with you are embarrassed about it or somehow that everybody else's thing in victory Jesus and you're not. I get that I get that. And so that's why I am so grateful that this show is available now because of American family radio they said were going to do this because there is victory. Jesus even while you're doing the things that we as caregivers to there is this is available to you right now doesn't mean all these things necessarily going to go away but it means that there is a reflexive reflectors that you can count on, but you were not going to go off this cliff.

If you just look to those reflectors.

That word is a lamp unto my feet and when you are cleaning up barf for the umpteenth time I was talking to Sandy Rios, who most of you listen this station familiar with and she told this disc moving story about taking care of her daughter was special-needs and she get her all prettied up and enter here would be done and everything else will be just picture-perfect and then she would just have a seizure throw up all over again.

If you have to do it all over again. She dipped his cleaner back up and do that whole thing again. Nothing.

You know that's the gospel that's what our Savior does for us because how many of us are doing that on a regular basis, and yet he just continues to minister to us in that regards. Do you want to do what you want to tap into that inexhaustible love that he has for us. As you minister to your loved one. That's what this show is all about is to help each of us walk into that so that we can be strong and healthy as we take care of someone who is not. I was try to squeeze in a call before the break-ins go to Becky in Missouri Becky in Missouri. Welcome to the show how you feel there was going on with their I can about what you turn it around for approximately okay okay better go. It is okay will will be due when we got.

We currently that we gotta go to the break Becky can you hang on to the break. Hang on just for the for the break will come right back to you. This is hopefully caregivers. This is the nation's number one show for the family caregiver you be a part of 888-589-8840 885 888 40 dispute arose murder caregiver.com will be right back. This generation is different, everything is smart, funny, everything is Abby Quinto it's all about the quick access to information and short attention spans and all the rest, but it seems to me that another way that we can have a very big impact on our culture is to outthink the concert. You cannot be a good thinker as a Christian and is this not a command of God that we are to love the Lord with all of our mind and not just our hearts on strength join me for Janet Mefford life weekdays at noon central on American family radio with Tim Armstrong from the worthy walk radio program inviting you to join us as we study the Scriptures. Verse by verse day, Monday through Friday at 6:30 PM central time here on American family radio. We will study the word of God and learn to apply its truth to our lives each day. The worthy walk Monday through Friday at 6:30 PM central time on American family over the past few years the AFR family has teamed up with India partners to help rescue young children from moon buys red light district through your gifts new safehouses have been built and existing homes have been expanded, allowing more children to have their basic needs met Irving Todd who Jesus is and about his love for them.

AL was one of the children risk to know about Jesus after 19 safehouses about changes after I only feel my life changed AFR staff members will visit the safehouses in January. They would like to bring some personal notes from you on these children that they are love and are being prayed for you.

Please join us in providing a note of encouragement can find all the details and where to send your letter by visiting AFR.net that's AFR.net.

We hope you'll join us as we share God's love these precious children by writing a simple note of encouragement is AFR.net AFR.net. It's been going home as I had learning and is no way is so the way you look back the show for caregivers about caregivers hosted by caregiver I bring three decades of experience help you stay strong and healthy as you take care of someone who is not. 888-589-8840 888-589-8842 would be on the show. By the way, still time for the caregiver you know if your pastor, your counselor or get one for your pastor, counselor seven caregiver landmines is my new book, just a little pocket-sized book that you could take with you to hospice to hospitals to doctors office.

Whatever keep it with you at all times is a field manual for the fellow caregiver and it is filled with stuff that I've learned the hard way, could have hit every one of those things on the crash test W caregivers, seven caregiver landmines and how you can avoid them. Mother books called hope for the caregiver, which is why the show was called that.

It's available as an audiobook as well. That one is and will be working on seven caregiver Lynn must get that is audiobook. All these things available wherever books are sold and at all the dot-coms friends don't let friends caregiver loans do not go through this season which is particularly difficult for caregivers without having some kind of anchor to help you as a caregiver through that seven caregiver landmines and how you can avoid it by let's get back to the phones here I would try to make you hold their Becky still with us. I was going on with her a word of encouragement are an 11-year-old Earnhardt American heart attack array like without oxygen for 45 minute flight left devastated and perfect: the court of articulate how barren everything in the spiritual actual triangle anointing with oil and everything in it that the call every territory, every directly and email contact. Start out that Colleen curled and I remember how startling the land, you know, and it was coming out because I heart you know that at that like in the case, but it was still hot and kind and one day I was reading the story of Shadrach academic out I granted 100 feet. The work but the Lord even air. Jack jumped out at me and I just began to leak because I know conflict making it clear to me that it's not about me having enough faith in myself having our faith that gets her that her character that little having an guide to do it his way.

No matter what the outcome in comfort from that and we had our eye docket for more children and each of them had bearing different granite for Garrett Andrew why I began get cleaning shad to remind back our God is faithful and our faith in him and and he bailed what he thinks hard, and the outcome and you know these kids are just terrible. I think I and we have hundred caliphate that they are an inspiration and cow faith in God and let him deal with the outcome. You know beautiful just beautiful, beautiful. This is why I bring this up because I know that it resonates so deeply with people that you guys, you know, we don't have to squint our eyes real hard when we pray to get God to hear us P he is close to the broken hearted. He is close to the way in their you, he sees all these things and he is not without compassion, and he's not without mercy of the means that without healing and but he has purposes that we just cannot fathom, but this is also the same God who allowed his own son to bear all of this on our behalf, and Becky, you have rebutted that just beautifully that we can trust him. How do we know we can trust him because we we when we slip our scared hand into his scarred though scarred his scars. I look at all my wife's car. She has a lot of but in those scars mean that she had a car wreck and a lot of surgeries. His scars, however, means that he did something far more to take care of all of these things. I look at Thomas you when Thomas was that there looking at the risen Christ and he said I believe Lord help my unbelief. He was actually looking at Jesus, risen from the dead, he still said, help my unbelief and and I think that is that that's a beautiful lesson Becky this morning, thank you so much for: thank you for most of the show and God bless you for what you done for these other children and shad is a great name for that child and and what a great reminder.

So thank you for that. Merry Christmas to you. Okay. The scope list go to jacket Virginia Jack, I good morning how you feel.

Eject I'm doing fine how are you well and I'm just precious but are you really doing fine yeah actually I am what I'm dealing with my wife. Heartfelt answer. They are not here been battling it for four years now matter on and they gave her like you not to click 11 into your mouth out with treatment but if employer cannot really pray to God and what we've gotten through that you don't know. I got out, but if there looking at ourselves. The theology of selfishness out there that that we try look beyond ourselves and found that God has allowed to come through a lot and if we allow. Figure do not, but God is bigger than the cancer, even if not be able to minister to people that we never been exposed to before the a lot of hurt people that are hanging out at the cancer center has never been exposed to the gospel that we could see that there is an opportunity and we never had that she had not known. The minister today that people in the hospital so houses houses deal with you in your heart level. Those client bonus when you're loading your reflecting on all this.

I've always been close to God walk and talk with a small boy and there are good moments in my life forgot it very clearly when all this started off… That's what I reside in. The truth that you know that you know that you now that what the gospel is true and that the crosswalk will and that we have victory and not nothing is going to take that away. You get pricing closer you lean on him and it's hard for a loved one anything like you said, and I appreciate what you said and that is that you not the caregiver is not a lot you can do and we really don't need all feeling sorry for us to run your budget to come alongside of and just been with us yeah and I pick anything up because at three edit the trick then that's what I'm so grateful that the American families listed the show Jack because you know that's the isolation we feel is caregivers is is crushing to us. And now that we have a place for one hour on Saturday mornings that we can come to his fellow caregivers and just bang around ideas build each other up.

Think through it. Talk to each other and and strengthen each other for the journey did what a gift that we all have an and not output myself as a receiver of that gift another giver of it on the receiver of it that we have a place that we can do that and I'm just grateful for all of you all that are listening in and joining us and him and in particular for American family radio because the family caregiver, I believe, is that risk individual and I am passionate about standing between that person and even church folk who want to just come along and just you know bang is upside the head with stuff and I thank you for your call on that in. It means a lot I want to do something for me.

Jack I want you to this this Christmas will you know you know we never know how many more times will have but just be sure to slow down this Christmas and enjoy the moments that you have an and reflect on the joy that you have with the season and maybe hold your wife's hand a little bit tighter with all right. I listened, I thank you for your work that you will thank you so much for for the call and for listening and I will just stay with us.

Keep clicking call back and let us know how you doing okay you have it. Thank you, have an open invitation to call as much as you want. All right, I appreciate that your buddy list go to market in Tennessee. Martha welcomed the show, how you doing Martha will what's going on with well made 48 years and might have been been called in home care for a number of physical and no handy handicap that I can't make it home and ended, hiding at home.

I had I didn't take care and I believe that there is a program on caregiver climate Marriott bandits out there laughing and I want to thank you for that. That is why you you why we do the show why we do the show because friends don't let friends caregiver loan in your why we do the show must go have sorry this is a tiny bit of delay so sorry about that. All right, probably I find it my character that nobody made my door.

Not one person and I'll let you know I'm a member of the make chart and nobody ever called and like calling Jenkins when I went taking care of them at home in a like well my friend. I think I can and I got it carrots well thanks that I couldn't let somebody take care things because I needed to take care of and then I think sometimes for understanding certain thing. It can't name for your making out right now you know will sometimes and sometimes it's a good idea for church if they want somebody to come to church. They don't feel like the kid because of the telecare, the need. Sometimes it's okay for the church to step in and provide some skilled care so that person in the church so that you could have some of the what can you go to not know I listen we gotta take a quick break.

Hang on, and I want to talk you won't come back to the break. Okay going this is hope for the caregiver dispute arose murder. We are so glad you with us. 888-589-8840 hope for the caregiver.com hope for the caregiver.com is don't let friends caregiver loan. That's why we do the show the right you ever struggled to trust God when lousy things happen to you.

I'm Gracie Rosenberger in 1983 I experienced a horrific car accident leading 80 surgeries in both legs and became I questioned why God allowed something so brittle to happen to me. But over time the questions changed and I discovered courage to trust God that understanding along with an appreciation for quality prosthetic limbs led me to establish standing without more than a dozen years we been working with the government of Ghana and West Africa, equipping and training local workers to build and maintain quality prosthetic limbs for their own people on a regular basis. We purchased equipment and supplies and with the help and inmate Tennessee prison.

We also recycle parts from donated lambs all — is to point others to Christ source and my help and strength, please visit standing without.com to learn more and participate in lifting others standing without.com. I'm Gracie and I am standing without, this is a case in a minute.

I'm Bill Johnson probably heard this about the wise men from the East to travel and worship Jesus wise men still seek him citizens and wiggle Michigan right in the backyard of our organization are left wondering if it's the wise men who see Christ.

What does that say for those who take the wise men down since being manufactured by students in shop class in the 1940s, a display of three wise men on camels has sat atop in the wake of school looking towards a star at the top of the clock tower after over 70 years of being displayed in atheist civil rights group is calling the display of violation of the separation between church and state, and demanding that it be removed when the superintendent deserves credit, at least at this point for not giving into these demands.

How long until our Christian Christmas traditions are banned from the public square. Make Christians stand up with courage or the truth of the Bible.

This is a decency minute, I'm Bill Johnson back to the show for caregivers about caregivers hosted by caregiver.

This is hope for the caregiver American family radio I'm paid Rosenberger bring three decades of experience to stay strong and wealthy as you take care of someone who is not, by the way, you just heard. Gracie said stayed with hope.com. Please take a look at stayed with hope.

You could also hear the feature so she's got an arrangement of said of silent minor things which melt your heart. It is so moving my wife can re-lease no kid thing, and in so go take a look@thatstagewithout.com Seo you can be a part of what were doing.

We have regular things that were helping with amputees over West Africa.

This is a vision she had was she gave up her own legs and inmates recycle prosthetic limbs for us.

They come in from all of the country. We just got a flight attendant called this week and we had a pallet ready to go and she flew down and brought legs with her on the plane she said was cheaper for me just to fly both with lipsticks, for it was up to her brothers prosthetic legs and I got a moment of the prison inmates disassembled them so we could pack, but we got on top of the shipment in the palace be picked up Monday morning had noted West Africa you could be part of that standing without.com give the gift that keeps on walking this yet everybody hangs up their stockings this year, but you could put a leg in the stockings. Oh that's funny thank you very much artist go back to Martha steady without.com I Martha – is are you going to church now now tell me why not well while and then my caregiving at home became ill on right now I can't. How could I find that I want to be around people and non-guided my martini in television so I get good.com. My mom and quite that rain the wording then have the Lord take a look will see what was listless do this really slowly. Okay really slowly. Okay be the last into church in first out.

Try that one time last in first out. You slip in slip out and that way you get to go.

You ease yourself into it. It's like dipping your big toe into the pool here be good. Make sure that the waters not too cold for you jump in and that way you slowly easing into it that you need people around you. It is not good for you to be alone and I know that having Christian television all that stuff is is is good to have that come again, but you need to have the fellowship of believers if you're not comfortable with the church are going to that's okay, but there's plenty of churches after find one that preaches the word but you could slip in and slip out and and then do that a couple times until you come to get your strength back and infield were settled and that also you going to find that you stick your hand out and and shake somebody's hand and it is good feel okay. Do nothing in and nothing to worry about it if you cried you cry any church doesn't allow a widow to come and cry well. You don't need to go to church anyway and it is summer not a widow yet you for your husband as it passed, but is in a nursing home, you're not. You're not there and that's the kind of that's the kind of mentality that you're dealing with here anyways that you're grieving to this so it's okay to cry. And you know what Martha, you can call this showed growth you reach a never drank like yours, but I been working here. Well you should listen every week and I want you to buy when the phone is much as you want to call because you know what you picked up the phone you made a phone call day. That's a big step on what you can give yourself a little pat on the back for that month. Okay you picked up the phone. I reached out. Don't wait for people to come to you. Let's go out and right now this is a safe place you cry anytime you want here okay right and I don't know what it just like you what you need anything call you now don't walk that's applied to the people say because they don't know what else to say this, they will let me know the sum you need.

Well, now I can think of some for you to do.

Don't worry about that. Let's focus on you taking care. Martha right now and right now you made a big step you picked up the phone and you called all right and then you go to consider going to church could be you could be lasted first out that what you discover. Slip in slip out and get yourself acclimated to it and pretty soon you can find that you have strength to start meeting people and talk to people and engage with people and the tears will still come but you can be stronger to deal with it.

You never to feel better about it. But that's not the goal were not trying to help you feel better. Were trying to help you be better okay all I will well and I am not a bike you could do it. Martha, I'm a listen I know you could do this I will work to help you were going to help you do it together. Okay route and I cried the radio.

Thank you and understand the value of your show well and I think they do. This lovely lady doing art they had thrown me off yet. Martha had thrown me off the stop the show yet, so I think they do.

And thank you we been doing this on this show of this network. For since July, I've been doing my show for about five years then American family say we want to do this on our network so I'm grateful today and throw me out here, but God bless and God bless him make Derek here.

I mean for their mercy. What I want today that let's put out my that's okay that'll come but let's get you a little bit stronger okay yes there is. I want to go take another call, but I'm proud of you Martha and I want you to call it as many times as you want. Okay thank you and to make will thank you and Merry Christmas to you all right, let's go out thank you and let's go to Tonya and Texas Tonya good morning. Thank you for waiting and Holly and and and and feeling good and feeling good and it's really a lot at that college he had been a mentor so back we had a man, and I had to take care of his alcoholic dad and you told him that he had could not be our did not meet at nine-year-old again.

I love that. I think his name was Bill and I love that I think you put it on podcast on a podcast because that was a very meaningful conversation I had with that young man in the thank you for remember that it is exactly the situation. Damian and I went home at 17 because my dad was an alcoholic and he actually shot and killed my mother and and when he did that and everything that the net thank you, me, and it was getting at, and I last and at now I need say no lazy being found on in all the time and can't care. Fail.

I feel an alcoholic, but he won't drink in my home and I it we can make and he looked over at me and he asked me that a day. Why did you leave. In Oklahoma, and I'll admit here that you know Mac I caught a plane detected and an icon like a leaky time for me to go because now I want to know why laugh and him normally had a net power over me and and I would have to be forced to pay it. I just told him I fit. It was simply time for me to relate and make my own way and ask what I did that felt so good inside and will you should because that's you stating up to not to your father either stand up to the disease and we can honor our fathers and mothers. Okay, but you don't have to honor alcoholism does not deserve aunt does not deserve your it is a disease and and it's easy when it's such a physical thing like like you don't mom but my wife's legs they're gone they're amputated. Well, you know I don't have to honor amputation that's gone, that's that impairment that that that was happen, but what it comes to alcoholism and behavior issues. It's very it's very disconcerting to us. We get we get twisted around. We don't we don't think straight and we get all these emotional entanglements and you you just laid a boundary with your father. You detached and you lied about it because he's not safe. He's active in alcoholism. He has not made amends for what he's done and people will never know how much you hurt them until they feel safe enough to tell you and you don't feel safe enough to talk to him and you don't have to.

You can care for him here at all and you can see that his his physical needs are cared for.

You could pray for him. But if this man is an active alcoholic, which sells like he is what you say you were not required to engage with his disease. I do not recommend people having a conversation with Alzheimer's you that you can't do or what you do is you learn how to engage the heart to the best of your abilities and you're doing a great job. Tonya now BSU question. Are you with any kind of recovery plug program for you now and never did go that I mean I've been, and will it but told time and type until you name it. That's what does it tell you a ton or tone W non-Tonya tonic hi I would like there's no one otherwise silent, Tana cannot recommend strongly enough for some type of recovery program for you with some type of twelve-step counseling, something for you to have somebody who can help walk with you through kind of sorting through all the thing that's happened to you. Please do not underestimate how important that is and how much you've been affected by your father's disease and the strum, which you would you just take a leap of faith up with me on that one. I will I will and and and get get a recommendation from your doctor to a counselor or go to a 12 step recovery program someplace where you can get healing work not the views and opinions expressed in this broadcast may not necessarily reflect those of the American family Association or American family radio