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May 10, 2019 1:22 pm
As caregivers, we know the journey is tough. We're used to that.
But it doesn't have to be crazy!
Yet the isolation of caregivers can take us down dangerous paths. HOPE FOR THE CAREGIVER is committed to punching through that isolation and giving caregivers a fighting chance against the craziness that can overtake us.
This clip identifies what a path to safety looks like for caregivers. Share it with your social media group, email list, pastor, and anyone else who either serves as a caregiver ...or knows a caregiver.
Did you suffer from three we lose our independence we become isolated and we lose our identity and that's what we do.
The show was to speak to those three things, in particular the. The letter to I want to want to help caregivers understand when they're not alone.
They're not isolated, that they're not separated from everyone is feels like that it really does and so working to take community to you.
That's what we do the show. I want you to hear friendly voice who has been there, done that, got the scars and is is blazing the trail for others to be able to travel this a little bit smoother. I don't have of national radio show when I was doing the start. Now I will have given careless 22 I have all this, but I've aggregated a lifetime of of of experiences to help things I've learned to help you and myself better navigate the future stuff that's coming down the path. I'm still doing this and on any given day. My situation is not as dire as some and on any given day. My situations more dire than most. Gracie lives with a lot of stuff me in the machine she deals with a lot of real serious challenges that we've learned to navigate to the things we were not just over here just groaning and wine and all the time. My wife anybody knows or knows admin. This is woman who loves life by the way John.
I can give any details today but I will soon she's getting in studio next week before he laid on the track. She did cover scratch vocal. She's doing this with the very very very cool artist. The two of them are doing to do it together all right on an limitation thousand watching her sing. I don't think she's ever sound sound better. I mean it. She's just got this richness to us were she's really kind of found that place in her life or she sings and she owns what she sings about, and it's it's beautiful to watch and and you get will debut the song on the show but I promise you we will that's the advantage of having your OSHA community is out and speak of just little programming note 1 of my favorite guess we've ever had on the show and I loved him as a comedian before I started doing the show. Jeff Allen is coming back right has a ton of fun to be at in this month. These out on his tour right now that is just whole areas we discussed is just so funny and I want to start introducing more comedians and and people who but the people who are not working out their angst on stage but just are able to see the funny side of life in the midst of sometimes great sorrow in it and they are able to offer that lifeline of humor to others. I think that's really important for us as caregivers is that we we learn to lighten up a little bit that that's only grace you have been able to make it.
We weave with pride enough tears, but do we laugh enough. I don't think so and so that's what one of things when doing the show and that brings me to a letter that I just received from a listener and and and I saw it. It really broke my heart and the show is this listeners opportunity just kind of listen that the they use this is that there is a time for just to decompress from from the stuff that the deal got it. The seven-year-old with special needs, but also this individual had a father that was disabled and had chronic pain for many many years and was on a good bit of pain killers and was sent to the store to pick up the prescription when when when she was 22 and the pharmacist said this not ready yet to be a couple days so she went home empty-handed and her father were so distraught that he ended up taking his life. Later that night, and it it was it was as you can imagine, just in a horrific event and the chronic pain that her father was dealing with. Plus the dependence on on painkillers took her father into some very dark places and as caregivers and and and and and the reason I share this not under I would be very careful not to expose anybody for this, but I want to say to that individual and out and I wrote them back and up but also want to say to those who are in any way living with this kind of stuff right now and these kinds of events happen. I'm asking you for them to take a leap of faith that this is not on you. This is not on you.
You're dealing with forces that are way beyond your ability and if somebody makes this type of of decision. I am a big if you please detach yourself from owning that because you didn't do it now. Here are some things that we can do and we can't guarantee results, but what we can do is we can commit ourselves to speaking life and hope into people's lives who are dealing with these kinds of things and maybe they're medically dependent, which is far different than being addicted, but it still has a lot of the same properties on an individual.
Maybe there maybe they are in the deep place depression maybe you are as well and is gonna be very difficult for you to speak life and hope into someone else's situation. If you're not if you don't have any yourself.
You can't give what you don't have what you don't lean on and so I'm asking you to back away from this and and raise your hand and get some help for you. If you have somebody in your life was taking any type of behavior altering chemicals, whether under doctor's care or doing it illicitly. I don't care which one no matter what the reason is, or that the impetus is I'm asking you to get help for you to help you deal with this.
Whether it's through a 12 step recovery program like Al-Anon and things such as that weather is going to counseling, please get help for you there.
Lots of licensed mental health counselors know don't don't don't go to a life coach for this one. Okay God bless life coaches, but this is beyond their their their scope. You you really need a trained mental health professional that could be somebody. This is a licensed clinical social worker or mental health counselor or psychologist, psychiatrist, but somebody was licensed was really take the time and something that's not fresh out of school and speaking from personal experience my disabled if the first one doesn't jive with your gift shop around this and he was not Dr. shopping like that.
Yeah, this is easiest if this is you are free to get up and move around and and you there. Lots of people out there that can help you and it may not be the right fit into may not be that the support group you go to, may not be the right fit. At first that she may have to try couple things don't fight with it trying to to force the issue, but glean what you can and then moved to the place that best suits your needs and and when I say that they don't need to be right out of the factory.
You could have to have somebody with a little bit of experience on this, but not a little bit. A lot of it because I God love the ones coming right out of school neck is that there be the ones in the future that that guy and I have to get experience somewhere and if it happens to work out. It happens workout bites you take a look at summary with the elderly little bit a dumb little long in the tooth and for this and and and be be relentless in protecting yourself be relentless in and recognize and how important this is to you. If your dealer somebody has a mental illness.
Same thing see a lot of times caregivers make this mistake. We we think that if we can get someone to stop behaving in a way that makes us uncomfortable or that's causing this pain. They will be okay. The absence of pain is not necessarily healing and and it's going to take a long time to unravel certain things you can get here overnight, and I can get out overnight and you become conditioned these things and so what I'm asking you to do is if you don't see it yourself. Take the advice of someone who has been down some some dark roads and get some help get some help and and you know you may say what well they're not abusing drugs or under doctor's care, and they're doing these things.
My wife doesn't abuse drugs. Never has she took off a lot of them should be the first to tell you this and and that's that can take the patient and the caregiver down a dark path. The chemistry of your body does not care whether it's under a dog yeah it doesn't matter and ends. We can debate the nature of addiction or substance dependency all day long, but we do know there chemically. There are things that happen yeah after you take these things and all at high doses for long periods of time in your body becomes dependent on whether or not a doctor has told you it's okay to drink six red bulls and see if your behavior changes well coming in and of being absurd yeah because I can, but think about that if you if you drink a bunch of sows of red bull. What's it going to do to your behavior well and now that's just that's just something you can just buy in the grocery store now and then tomorrow you're probably good have to drink six and then seven and then you know who knows your exit doesn't work as well because the chemistry doesn't care whether it's legal or not or whether it's ethical or not. It just does it to you. But how does that affect your behavior and then your relationships all right and you you I'm asking you to please respect what this is doing to you.
Respect the trauma that's being done to your own heart because the healthy you become, the better equipped you're going to be able to be to your loved one when the darkness overcomes them so much that they they are even at that at that cliff of making very, very dangerous decisions.
And I'm also asking you to to secure things in the home, make sure that firearms are secure. If you got an addiction, a medical dependency. If you've got any type of behavior altering chemicals being introduced over long period of time like that or any premium short trip. Make sure that firearms are properly secured in the home. If you don't know how to do it as somebody for some help to come over safety and secure the weapons all right weekly. Talk about taking car keys away from folks, but without shotguns and for those of you who are out there right now that are pastors that are listing or church leadership of any kind and in somebody in your in your cognition has a substance abuse problem or addiction issue. Would you please asked that question of the firearm secured if there is a diagnosis of Alzheimer's or any kind of dementia which asked that question. If somebody's battling severe depression, which asked the question.
You know it, why not. Let's let's let's practice safety here and and don't think for one moment that when the funeral comes then you'll be okay because even death doesn't stop the long-term impact of these things and you as a caregiver deserve to have a fighting chance at being healthier which it would you to take advantage of that. Go visit the 12 step recovery program today. Call it look online. Thereafter, everywhere.
If your dealer somebody with the drug market monitor Al-Anon or all those kinds of things are out there and their free. What if you got to lose hanging around a bunch of people struggling to wrap their minds around something they can control and and building each other up in that if you got to lose. Keep listening the show. I take varies as goofy as John and our and we are we take very seriously the fact that we may be the only person in your life right now that is willing to speak specifically to that level of heartache and I take that very seriously. I know what it feels like to be floundering.
I know it in ways that I hope many of you never have to know that I'm asking you to please respect the trauma that's being done to your heart into your body and raise your hand and asked for help.
You do not have to go down, you do not have to be destroyed by this you don't. There is a path to safety is not an easy path never is, but easy is not our goal here. We don't were not looking for easy. We just don't crazy in what we do ourselves sometimes is crazy. We push ourselves to to reckless extremes is time to change plans here. Let's give you a fighting chance at safety for you. Being healthier not try to make anybody happy as happy as Ms. Rosa choose me, but I'm hoping I can point you to healthiness because healthy caregivers make better caregivers. This is hope for the caregiver. This Peter Rosenberger 800-688-9522 800-688-9522 will be right back