A Conversation With Singer/Songwriter (and caregiver) Gary Chapman

Welcome back to Hope for the Caregiver here on Family Talk Channel, Sirius XM 131.

This is Peter Rosenberger. This is the nation's number one show for you as a family caregiver. How are you doing?

How are you holding up? Gary Chapman is with us. One of my absolute favorite songwriters of all time. And he and his family have had quite a journey in these last several months.

And he's no stranger to the caregiving world. Been on the show before, but I just saw an update with him and I wanted to say, you know, come on here and let's talk about this and share some things you learned. So Gary, you with us? I am. I apologize for my tardiness, sir.

No, it's okay. It's been that kind of show already, but no worries. Thank you for joining us. I mean, I've been watching you and your family go through these things, praying for you guys.

I know it's been a very, very challenging thing, but at the same time, it's been a, there's been some great moments of, of joy and beauty and excitement. So bring us up to speed where you go. We'll have to take a quick break here in a couple of minutes, but then we'll keep you on through the rest of the show. Okay. Gotcha. Yeah.

Just say, say the word and I'll shut up. I guess I should start at the beginning relatively. Uh, my wife and I adopted, uh, a little girl six years ago, Eva Rose.

I have, uh, I have four kids, have a 32 year old son, daughters, 30, 28 and six. I'm that guy. Um, which is, which is awesome. I'm, um, she's just the best thing. So, uh, in may of last year, she started having, uh, seizures. And of course that, that, uh, took us to the, the doctors and lots of testing and as initially diagnosed as epilepsy. And uh, they, uh, tried to prescribe us some, uh, some, some medicine for that.

And you know me and what I do in my day job, uh, in the, in the CBD world. So, uh, I respectfully said, no, we're going to do this and, uh, bless their hearts. They were like, well, you know, that's that, that, that has been known to work, but you know, you have to be really careful what you get. They had no idea what I do. I said, well, I'm, I'm careful.

It's okay. So it was, uh, and that did alleviate to a large degree, uh, the, the, the seizures, but they did continue. And then, um, we had, you know, MRIs and, you know, all kinds of scans and eventually it was, uh, it was diagnosed as I think the initial phrase was a, an abnormality and then the abnormality became a lesion. And then about the fourth MRI, they went ahead and decided to call it a tumor.

Um, at which point when you know that they're planning to, uh, cut into your little girl's skull, you, you start getting pretty particular about who's going to do it. And, uh, through honestly, just a providential, amazing experience. Um, we wound up at, at Le Bonheur, which is the pediatric neurological arm of, uh, of St. Jude. If a child comes and has, uh, a tumor of any kind in their brain or their spine, you go to Le Bonheur first, and then you move to St. Jude.

So I didn't, I'd never even heard of the place. And it's just, it's just amazing. That whole St. Jude world is, is just phenomenal and, um, and, you know, we all have our run-ins with the medical establishment because it's, it's almost always just a giant pain. And you, when you find somebody that you feel like is treating you with genuine compassion, you cling to them like grim death, because, you know, you know, it's just a very, and it's no fault of their own. Many, many of them are wonderful professionals, but they're working under these constraints, uh, you know, probably brought about mostly about litigation and regulation that just stops them from using common sense part of the time. And that's maddening to me. Uh, but at, at, uh, in the, in the St. Jude world, um, I, I met, I met so many people and honestly, from the janitor to the chief surgeon, I have yet to meet one human being that didn't genuinely care on a, on a very high level.

And that coupled with, um, just, just amazing professionalism and an extremely high level of it. It's, uh, it's, it's been, if it can be, it's been a great experience. Um, let me ask you a question that path did take us to a really angry scar in her head, October 9th. So that's, that's not fun. Brain surgery is not fun.

I can attest to that. It's not a good experience. Well, let me ask you a question. Uh, and I want to get back into your history. You watched your father, uh, pass away from this earth and you, you took care of him and now here you are with your daughter and the, the, the journey has had to have stretched you pretty significantly on both sides of this thing. What did you see about yourself as you had, it's, it's one thing to see your dad. It seems like it's kind of normal. You're watching your parents age and you know that this is part of the normal part of life, but it's not a normal part of life to watch your little girl do this.

No, no, it's not. Where did this take you into some places with your faith, with just who you are as a guy, as a dad, all these kinds of things. What are some things that you felt through this and learned about yourself and discovered about yourself? The, the overwhelming overarching answer to that is that I found out that I really was who I thought I was in, in relation to my belief in what God thinks of me.

I've, uh, I accepted Christ in my dad's church when I was six years old with the amount of deep spiritual knowledge I had at the time. And I've, I have honestly tried to stick to that commitment since then until now. Uh, my path has not been perfect and it's well documented and I hear the music and we'll pick it up right here, folks. Listen to this pro.

Listen to this pro. Well, don't, don't leave that thought because that's an important place because a lot of people are facing what you've faced in and just in these last few months. And I found that people want to, they can navigate these things better if they know somebody else has been on this trail and you're somebody who went on this trail armed with the knowledge of your place in Christ. And that's a great thing. So hang on. This is Peter Rosenberg. This is hope for the caregiver.

We're talking with Gary Chapman and you know what? This is how we do it as caregivers. We come along beside each other and we just hold each other through this process and point each other to safety. And that's what we're doing today. We'll be right back.

Don't go anywhere. Have you ever struggled to trust God when lousy things happen to you? I'm Gracie Rosenberger and in 1983 I experienced a horrific car accident leading to 80 surgeries and both legs amputated.

I questioned why God allowed something so brutal to happen to me, but over time my questions changed and I discovered courage to trust God. That understanding along with an appreciation for quality prosthetic limbs led me to establish Standing with Hope. For more than a dozen years we've been working with the government of Ghana and West Africa, equipping and training local workers to build and maintain quality prosthetic limbs for their own people. On a regular basis we purchase and ship equipment and supplies.

And with the help of inmates in a Tennessee prison we also recycle parts from donated limbs. All of this is to point others to Christ, the source of my hope and strength. Please visit standingwithhope.com to learn more and participate in lifting others up. That's standingwithhope.com. I'm Gracie and I am standing with hope. Welcome back to Hope for the Caregiver here on Family Talk Channel Series XM 131. That is my wife Gracie with Russ Taft and that's all for her new CD Resilient.

You can get a copy of that. Just go out to standingwithhope.com. You've heard her story. Whatever you want to do to help support the prosthetic limb ministry that she founded, we'll send you a copy of it.

Standingwithhope.com. We're on the phone with Gary Chapman telling us his journey through some very difficult things. And he was no stranger to difficult things. And here he comes at this new place in his life where he's had to watch his little girl go through brain surgery for a tumor. And so Gary you went into this thing as you were saying before the break and you knew who you were in Christ and how did that go even deeper as you watched them take her on a gurney down to surgery? Well walking the path with my dad was extremely revealing and honestly I don't know that I would have been prepared for this without that.

God's a crafty guy and I believe he knew exactly how this was obviously going to come down. But you referenced it earlier, it's one thing when it's your dad and you know he's so ready to go, dying to go literally. And you know he's kind of expected. But then you're, you're incredibly, honestly Eva Rose is, this is not just a dad talking. Strangers will say this the moment they meet her. Okay that is the friendliest most joyful creature I have encountered on your planet so far. She's just, it's unbelievable.

She's just a light. And seeing this happen to her, you know you don't, I learned long ago it's a silly futile exercise to actually question God. It's okay to have those conversations with him. I'd do that at length. But I know like the way back behind my question is the knowledge that he knows what he's doing.

He just does. And so I, but I wanted to switch places. I just wanted, like why couldn't it be me? I've done enough boneheaded things to my, to my body in my life and have walked this path long enough. Good grief.

I've lived three or four lives so far. And, and if something like that happens to me, honestly, I, I won't enjoy it, but I will get it. But this was initially it was like, why? It's just why you cannot avoid that question.

It just why? And the almost to the moment that I legitimately acknowledged that I had that question, this there's only one way the scriptures is the only way that it can be described. It is a piece that passes all understanding. I felt and Cassie, my wife felt exactly the same thing through this whole process, just peaceful. I knew that God had us walking this path for his purposes and, and that she was going to be okay. And that it was going to be fine. The moment that you just mentioned a minute ago was the only real weak moment that we both completely lost it when they, uh, when they wheeled her away, which by the way, just a quick aside, when you're going into surgery in the Bonner hospital, uh, when a child is going into prep, they pass through this, uh, pretty lengthy hallway.

It's probably 50, 60 feet long. And one side is all this just really interesting, colorful, you know, artwork that children would love. And then the other side of that hallway is floor to ceiling, beautiful wooden glass, glass fronted, uh, cases filled with incredible toys. And these are not like trinkets.

These are everything you look at. It's like, Oh my gosh, they've got that in there. And the, the last thing a child does before they go into surgery at Le Bonheur is pick out a toy and they put that toy on their bed with them. And that's that's their last, that's their last thing.

It's, it's just amazing. I think they should probably do that for adults and just have, you know, really like, like an iPad or something, you know, I don't know. It's just an idea. Anyway, I'm with you. This is a good call. I'm going to get on this right now.

They can hide it somewhere in the bill. Nobody's going to get hurt. Come on. It's just, it's just a great idea. But the moment they wheels her away, we both just looked at each other and just collapsed. It's just, it's really, really hard. I've stood in the, what they're going to do, you know? Well, I've stood in more hospital corridors and watched Gracie go off on gurneys and those hospital quarters can be the loneliest places. And yet there's still, there's people all around, there's noises and everything else.

And yet it seems like it is the most lonely place in the world. And um, and, and I, and I've, as I've watched your posts that you've shared with these things, I've watched you put music out there about it in the little bit of time. We only just got a couple of minutes left. Are you writing through this? You know, um, I don't know how to stop.

You can't, uh, you can't make a living writing songs anymore. Thank you. Thank you for reminding me. No, but, um, I can't stop. It is my, it is my, um, it is my gift from God. He has given it to me, even if it's just for me.

So it's the cheapest, best therapy I can, I can find so far. And honestly, I think everybody can do it. I encourage everybody that's going through this stuff, write it down, just sit down and let your heart just pour out onto a page.

It doesn't have to rhyme. Nobody else has to read it. Just put it down.

Cause there's something really, really cleansing and purging about that process. But yes, I'm writing a lot. Well, she made it through this. You guys have got a good report.

Things are moving in the right direction. You know, one of my favorite songs of all time was yours. And it says, there's a treasure at the end of this narrow road I'm traveling.

And Jesus is that treasure. And you, you keep rediscovering this in your life, don't you? I do.

I do. And it's awesome. It just gets sweeter every moment. I want to have you back on as many times as you want, because I think you have really important things to say along this journey. You're able to articulate it well, and I appreciate you calling in today just to share your story. It always just, it's always a treat, uh, Gary. So thank you very much.

You say when, I'm in. Thank you, buddy. All right. This is Hope for the Caregiver. This is Peter Rosenberger, hopeforthecaregiver.com.

Healthy caregivers make better caregivers. Today's a great day to start being healthy. We'll see you next week. John's with us in Nashville and, uh, I'm out here watching a snow storm coming in and we started out, we, I told John, I said, we stumbled out of the gate today because my connection was a little bit bad. Um, but you know, that's all right. It's uh, but thank you again for calling in. You ended strong. Just let it fly. Well, I think you ended strong, Gary. John and I just held on for the ride, but thank you and I'm glad to hear the good report and, uh, I, I, I really mean it when I say it, but, uh, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I,