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Learning the Art of Refusal Part 1 (Titus 3:9)

Wisdom for the Heart / Dr. Stephen Davey
The Truth Network Radio
November 2, 2026 12:00 am

Learning the Art of Refusal Part 1 (Titus 3:9)

Wisdom for the Heart / Dr. Stephen Davey

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November 2, 2026 12:00 am

Share a commentSome of the loudest fights in church life are not about clear sin or clear doctrine. They are about the debatable space where the Bible “barely nods,” where preferences harden into platforms, and where people start taking sides and taking shots. We want better for our churches and for our own souls, so we open Titus 3:8–9 and ask a simple question: what belongs on a Christian’s tray, and what should be refused on purpose?We talk about the difference between what is popular and what is profitable, and why Paul calls certain disputes worthless even when they feel spiritual. Along the way, we use two sticky pictures you will remember: buzzards and eagles may both soar, but they fix their eyes on very different things, and a buffet can leave you with a stomachache when you try to take it all. That is the spiritual art of refusal, turning away again and again from foolish controversies, endless speculation, and traditions of men treated as doctrine.We also get practical about church unity in a community filled with different backgrounds, denominations, and expectations. When secondary issues get elevated to the level of “God’s truth,” the mission suffers and the gospel gets crowded out by quarrels. If you want stronger discernment, healthier biblical interpretation, and a clearer focus on good deeds that serve people, press play.Subscribe for more, share this with a friend who needs peace, and leave a review telling us: what distraction do you need to refuse this week?Support the show

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Same way, the church in every generation can get caught up in debatable interpretations—things that God may lead you to apply to your life, but the Bible isn't really perfectly clear on that. And what you're doing isn't sinning. You're in fact making some kind of stand or statement or conviction or preference in that area. But now you're going to take that and you're going to try to to bring it to the body, bring it to other believers. And the Bible isn't as clear as we'd like it.

And this is what we've always believed. And so we take sides and we take shots. I have heard it said before, and it's true that buzzards and eagles are similar, yet at the same time very different. They're both birds; they both soar high upon the wind. They both have sharp vision and powerful wings.

What makes them different is the way they view life. Below, what they focus on, and I can't help but think that, to a very large degree, whatever a Christian is interested in, whatever a Christian focuses on or chooses not to focus upon, determines, in a very real way, the kind of life they live. There's something we need to develop, and we're going to study it together in this session. It is the spiritual art of refusal. Knowing what to say no to and knowing what to say yes to, I can remember as a kid every so often going out to eat, and we typically went to this cafeteria when I was a boy.

And back then, it was one price takes care of everything. and And every time I went, I had the same problem. I wanted it all. Wanted everything, you know. At the front of the line, the pasta salad looked really good.

I'll take some of that, and then you get a little closer, further down. It's the Jello salad with tangerines. Man, that looked really good, and I took that. And then you get to the bread, and that banana bread looks good. And so does the sourdough.

And then you get to the main course, and the lasagna looks good. But why that fish looked good too, and and then. Those cut potatoes soaking in butter, and I thought, well, you know, I don't have a vegetable yet, so that'll that'll take care of that. And then and then you get to desserts, and how do you decide between chocolate cake and banana pudding? You don't.

That's exactly right. Thank you, sir. By the way, I had a guy come up to me after first hour, and he said, "There's no there's no g on the end of that. It's banana pudding." Okay, so get it right.

So I've had two more chances to get it to get it right. I go to my table and invariably I'd either end up with a stomach ache or I wouldn't eat half the food that I had. I had chosen. I think I think learning the art as you grow up of saying, "Yeah, I need that," and I really don't need that. Discerning between good and evil, but even developing between developing the choices between what is good and something that is better, there's maturity in that.

Just as the individual Christian learns to pick and choose his physical food, he's got to learn to pick and choose spiritual influences that will impact his life if he ever hopes to be healthy and and wise. There are just some things you have to learn how to ignore, and that's exactly what the Apostle Paul is going to reinforce as he nears the end of this letter to Titus. He's going to spell out four things to avoid, four things to make sure you don't put them on your tray. Don't invite them into your life. You're going to end up with a stomach ache or worse.

Here are four distractions to refuse. Let's get a running start back at chapter three and verse eight. Which we studied in our last session together, and then we'll get to verse nine today. Look at verse eight. This is a trustworthy statement, and concerning these things, these doctrines he has developed.

I want you to speak with confidence.

So that those who have believed God will be careful to engage in good deeds. These things are good and profitable for men or for mankind in general. Verse nine. But avoid foolish controversies and genealogies and strife and disputes about the law, for these things are unprofitable and. Worthless.

Notice he doesn't say they are unpopular.

Well, they were very popular, as we'll see in a moment. They are just unprofitable. They're worthless. They don't do any good in your life. Leave them alone.

Don't put them on your tray and take them into your life. They're not good for you. It won't help you.

Now, the first of these four distractions, Paul is referring to. Let's take a closer look in our study. Avoid. He says, "Avoid them." That verb means to literally turn your face away, turn your back on. Don't look at.

That's what he means by avoid. And by the way, it's in the present tense, which means this isn't a once-for-all refusal. I've said no to that, and I am never going to have to say no again. No, it is constant. It is often.

It is repeated. In your life, repeatedly turn your face away while everybody else is loading it up. Turn away, turn away from what?

Well, the first of the four are these foolish controversies. What's he talking about?

Well, the first word kind of gives us a hint that it's not a good thing, because he uses the Greek word moros, which gives us our word moron, or moronic. If you get involved in this, you're you're going to play the role of a moron. You're going to be moronic, foolish. Don't do it. And then he gets to the word controversies.

This refers to searching or or investigating things that have no merit. They have no basis. They have no substantive meaning. They're merely speculations that occupy the mind. They seem appealing.

They seem interesting. We ought to maybe give them a little attention. No, don't do that. They're they're controversies without substance. And they're going to get you into heated debates and arguments, so avoid them.

Now, now Paul has already warned Titus about avoiding Jewish fables in chapter one. Same idea in his mind here. They're they're controversial. They're not really substantiated by the word. They are what we would say are gray areas, perhaps, or or doubtful issues.

God's spirit may lead you to feel firmly in one, but the word of God is not going to be applied in that way to somebody else. Make sure you don't get pulled into heated debates and controversies over these things. And he specifically refers to those things which have very little merit. Fables to avoid—they're unprofitable, they're fruitless. You could render that they're useless.

I remember just this summer when my wife going to the beautiful Adirondack Mountains in Upper New York, the home of Word of Life, where I would speak for a week. I thought this was going to be beautiful to get up in the mountains. My wife and I—they had a heat wave. They set records for heat for that week, and I took them through the Book of Ruth. There, in one session in the campgrounds, without any air conditioning, and.

And talked about Jewish culture and and how that set the scene for what would transpire in the book of Ruth. And I had a man come up to me and say, "Are you familiar with books on Jewish legends and culture, rabbinical interpretations?" And I said, "No." He said, "Well, there's an excellent one that's been translated in English, and it just sort of compiles all these Jewish myths and legends." And I thought that might be useful, and so I ordered a book. It's a large book, nearly a thousand pages, translated into English, and it covers centuries of rabbinical tradition and legend and and myth.

So when I was in chapter one, I wasn't there yet, and now in chapter three, this comes up again. And so I pulled that book down from my study at home and began to read through what they may have dealt with in these earlier centuries. Since I knew we were studying Noah and the flood, I thought, you know, I am going to go and see what they had to say about Noah. I wonder what the the legends and some of these myths are relative to Noah and, and the ark, Noah and that that flood. And I ended up reading more legends and more interpretations and more controversial things than you could ever imagine.

That I certainly have time to read to you. But would you like to hear one of them?

Okay. All right, ma'am. Just for you. Here we go. All right.

I'll actually summarize a few of them. Here's one. Noah and his family. The legend is barely survived because when it began to rain, people surrounded the ark and they were trying to tip the ark over. And so God sent lions to scatter them, and they surrounded the ark until the ark floated up and away.

Fascinating idea. Thought. Another legend claims that even though it was dark inside the ark, that Noah had brought with him a pearl of great price, and there is something in the Bible about that, isn't there? And and that pearl gave off light, so that for the year they were in the ark, Noah and his family were able to see. Another rabbinical legend says that when the rain began to Fall and the floodwaters rise.

One large sea creature didn't want to perish, and nor didn't want to get lost. And so Noah tied him to the ark, and he swam alongside the ark. And he made furrows in the water as wide as the sea. Another rabbi taught that as the floodwaters swelled, Og, the king of Bashan, Deuteronomy has a vague reference to Og living that he must have survived. And what happened was he sat on the rungs.

Of the latter. On the side of the ark, and he begged Noah, promising him that if he would let them survive, that he and his sons would be slaves of Noah and his family for life. And so Noah drilled a hole in the ark and fed the king every day by handing out food to the king and his sons. Another legend claims that every raindrop that fell on Earth, God first brought it to a boil in the underworld. Before he carried it out and then dumped it on mankind.

I mean, this is great devotional reading, and it this will spice up the Bible, no question about it. One more romantic legend claims that when Noah sent out the dove, she flew to the gates of the Garden of Eden, and God opened the gates, and the bird went in and took a fresh leaf from the tree there from the garden. Of Eden, you know, it's all interesting stuff, and no wonder Paul would reinforce these predominantly Jewish congregations on the island of Crete to put those things away. They were unprofitable. They would just bring up arguments.

You can imagine Titus who would be preaching and teaching from the Old Testament, from the writings of eyewitness accounts as God is progressively giving His revelation. And you can imagine everybody gathering.

Okay, we're going to study Noah and the Ark, and oh no, that's not what happened. No, this is what happened. No, this is what I think happened. This rabbi said this. This interpretation believed this, and we ought to get some kind of meaning out of that.

And it just would keep the congregation embroiled in debate. Unprofitable debate and controversy, in the same way, the church in every generation can get caught up in debatable interpretations, questionable things, things that God may lead you to apply to your life, but the Bible isn't really perfectly clear on that. And what you're doing isn't sinning. You're in fact making some kind of stand or statement or conviction or preference in that area. But now you're going to take that and you're going to try to to bring it to the body, bring it to other believers.

And the Bible isn't as clear as we'd like it. And maybe it's clearly against that idea. But no matter. This is what we've always believed, and so we take sides and we take shots. And the church suffers.

Paul delivered the same warning to Timothy when he wrote, "Don't pay attention to myths and endless genealogies, which give rise to mere speculation, rather than furthering the plan of God, which is by faith." I mean, the world looks at the church, and the church can appear moronic. Not because it's standing for truths that certainly would seem foolish to an unbelieving world, but the things the Bible barely nods at or mentions, and some deeper truth or meaning is brought out. Doesn't accomplish the mission of the church by means of the gospel. Paul also wrote further to Timothy in Second Timothy two twenty three. But refuse foolish and ignorant speculations, knowing that they produce quarrels.

Take a look at the fruit of it, producing quarrels. The Bible isn't clear on something. Don't bring it out into an argument. Don't take it to your table. The enemy is more than happy in a church fight to stay neutral and just provide both sides with ammunition as they fire away.

Which is also why Paul would write, "Do everything in your power. Be diligent." Here is something to pursue: the unity of the spirit in the bond of peace. In our greenhouse. Class that I mentioned, our class for incoming potential new members, the need is never more apparent and and more exciting to see developing right there in front of our eyes as people from all over gather for this twelve weeks of study. And typically, what I do at the very beginning, if you've been through it, and I know half our assembly hasn't, and so I'll tell you a little bit of what we do.

We we'll go around the room. I've got about eighty two adults, I think, in this particular class, and and I'll ask them. You know, tell us where you're from, and we'll just go all over the map. Denominationally, spiritual backgrounds are different. Doctrinal beliefs are going to be different, and we're going to talk about what we believe and why it's important, and a lot of other things that are going to fall by the wayside.

I mean, we have in this particular class. I just thought about it as I was studying this text. We have former Anglicans. Presbyterians, Methodists, Catholics, Evangelical Free Church, Bible Church, non-denominational, Independent Baptists, Free Will Baptists, Southern Baptists, really confused Baptists. We get them all in there together.

They're coming directly from their former church. I go around and I just have them raise their hand. When I get to your particular denomination, you know, Missionary Alliance and United Methodist, and if we have anybody from the Assemblies of God, I say you can raise both hands if you'd like to, just to have a little fun. And they come from all over.

Some are coming from small churches, and they are intimidated. They're new here. Make sure you say hello to people around you. They may be so new and intimidated.

Some are coming from churches so large that it makes our church feel small.

Some are used to their pastor preaching on topics and and issues of the day, and others are used to their their pastor preaching through a book of the Bible for years at a time. That's common out there. You'd be surprised.

Some are from churches that sang mostly hymns with a an organ and a piano, and some are from churches that sang mostly choruses with a with a band.

Some of them, some of them want more music.

Some of them want longer sermons.

Okay, made that part up. But if I asked them, I know somebody would probably tell me that.

Some people are coming from churches with a lot of liturgy. Everything is just planned. If there's a calendar, they follow. Others are coming from churches where it's just kind of free flowing, and you never quite know what's going to happen. We have people in that class born in the south.

People have moved here from the north, from the west, from up east. We have in this class. Caucasian, African, Asian, Hispanic, and a mixture of a lot of others.

Some come from a place where they heard the gospel every time they showed up.

Some are hearing it for the first time. I just met this past week with one gentleman, a young police officer who I'm not sure how he got started, but he began podcasting our sermons while on duty. He'd listen to them and. One day he pulled over and accepted Jesus Christ as his Savior. He and his wife are now coming.

It's all brand new. We got we got older believers and and and young brand new believers. We got we got singles. We have married couples. We have.

Parents with children and parents without children, or couples without children.

Some parents are homeschooling.

Some are sending their kids to public school, and some are sending their kids to Christian school. And I am able to tell them, my wife and I did all three: homeschool, public school, Christian school. And I can say, with all authority, none of them work perfectly. I'll add. None of them work perfectly.

The myriad of varieties represented in one new members class, and you're thinking, "How in the world are we ever gonna get along?" And maybe you're wondering if we will. How did the believers on the island of Crete get along? You have descendants of Gentile pirates and historic Jewish converts.

Some of them are poor.

Some of them are wealthy.

Some of them aren't educated. Paul will mention one at the end of the letter that's an attorney, highly educated.

Some are going to be people who who grew up under the influence of the Essenes. I mean, they were so liturgical. They had ceremony upon ceremony. They would eat a meal without ceremonial cleansing. They would come together and eat meals together wearing special clothing, ceremonially cleansed.

And and that person gets converted, comes to faith, stands in the assembly next to a Gentile that doesn't bathe. Period. Right. You have people coming in with all kinds of religious traditions, and some coming from idolatrous backgrounds. Everybody came into the faith and into that assembly by means of the cross, where their sins were washed away.

But opinions tend to stick. Funny how that happens. Paul effectively tells Titus you're going to need to remind them that there are opinions, and they may have a lineage of rabbinical traditions, but the word isn't going to really make that clear. They may have dearly held beliefs that may not be wrong, but are not to be communicated as the model. Tell them what to leave.

At the buffet line, and not take with them to the table, they're unprofitable. They are worthless. They're not going to bear spiritual fruit. Even if you win the argument, it will not advance the gospel. Without a clear text of Scripture, the interpretation can take on an authority of whoever is dispensing it.

The rabbis of old, with their volumes of opinions and speculations, taught as doctrine, and you end up with a Noah and his family being protected by lions, and feeding a king out of compassion with some huge, monstrous animal in tow, and a and a dove getting an olive leaf from the Garden of Eden. At the end of the day, none of that advances the gospel. I shared recently with my greenhouse class my growing opinion that we ought to be wearing white clothing. I mean, we're told in Revelation that our future wardrobe is going to be triumphant robes of white, clean linen, indicative of victory in in battle, and in light of that coming day. I mean, why not?

We ought to even now begin to wear white in anticipation of our final victory with Christ, as we eventually come. Revelation 19 says, "With Christ wearing white on stallions of white." So let's start wearing white clothing. Of course, they smile and they think, "Are you pulling my leg?" And I'll laugh and say, "Of course I am, but could I be serious?" Then I read a quote to them from one church leader who gathered a following in the second century, and he was serious as he preached and taught. And I quote: "Forsake colored clothing. Forsake colored clothing.

Remove everything in your wardrobe that is not white." He goes on though, no longer sleep on a soft pillow, nor take warm baths. If you are sincere about following Christ, and especially the newer believers will go, yeah, I'm sincere. Tell me, if you are sincere about following Christ, never shave your beard. For to shave is an attempt to improve on the work of Him who created us. I can't help but laugh when I read that quote because I grew up in a circle of churches that believe that if you didn't shave, you were sinning.

Any facial hair was tantamount to rebellion. I mean, if you were really sincere about following Christ, you shaved. And I can't help but laugh because here is a guy preaching in the second century that if you did shave, you were sinning. And guess what the Bible says about either side of that argument? Nothing.

Unless you twist some scripture and come up with your own interpretation, listen. In any generation, there are plenty of controversies that are really unfruitful. I haven't even mentioned, you know, whether or not global warming is. Make believe if drilling offshore is a good idea, if gun control is a bad thing, if border control is a waste of money, if you should only be eating organic foods to prove you're really taking care of God's vessel, if you ought to be driving an electric car to show that you're really showing good sense in taking care of God's planet, if you're feeding your cats and your dogs expensive food that contains vegetables because your dog needs to eat vegetables like you do. No, your dog needs to eat that cat.

That's what he ought to eat. There's some controversy for you. I'll hear about that. Let it rip. I mean, let's hash out.

You know our views on a thousand things: parenting styles, you know, worship styles, personal convictions or preferences, an array of opinions and traditions, and secondary issues that, in an assembly, can quickly elevate to becoming equal to doctrine. See, Jesus faced that. He told the Pharisees, "You're teaching the traditions of men as doctrine. You're taking all your speculations and all of your opinions, and you're elevating it to the level of this is God's truth. It is fruitless."

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