Today's technology makes it easy to connect with family and friends, acquaintances from all around the world. In fact, it's not uncommon for people to have hundreds of social media contacts.
So why does there seem to be an increasing sense of detachment and loneliness? Today on Truth for Life, Alastair Begg considers the cause and the solution. Let's open our Bibles to Colossians chapter 3 and begin with verse 12. You had a lot of clothes in your old closet. Your pre-Christian closet was full of a bunch of ugly stuff.
In the grace of God, that stuff is being removed. But now, in the grace of God, put on your new clothes. You've been given a whole new wardrobe. And you have all these amazing t-shirts. Compassion.
Kindness, humility, meekness. Patience. Your new self is under new management. It goes on over a lifetime. And so the intense practicality of it ought to be a terrific encouragement to us.
And you will see that there as he goes on in verse 13, bearing with one another. If you're like putting up with one another. Remember we sang that song? which goes something like, Oh, kneel me down again. Here at your feet.
Cause me. To know these things, cause you are the God of the broken. The friend of the weak. You wash the feet of the weary. You embrace the ones in need.
I want to be like you, Jesus. to have this heart. In me. You see, this is the distinguishing feature. And If you imagine that they were wearing not clothes like this with the trousers and jacket and all that stuff, but they were wearing more like calftan things.
And so How are you going to stop yourself from just tripping up and falling over?
Well, you belt them. Or you tie them. And you tie some things so as not to impede your progress and to hold everything else in place. That's what he says here. Binding All these things together.
Put on love which binds everything together in perfect harmony. I'd like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony, right? We understand that longing. Right? All we are saying is give peace a chance.
Imagine there is no this. Imagine there is no that. Where are the answers to these longings? Where's the answer to these longings, you see? He says, Now you Colossian believers.
Or if you're like now, you Cleveland believers. You want to make an impact in your city? Here it is. It's not a political campaign. It's a radical transformation.
from the inside out. Where What you are. You see, once again, when you come to the details of the Christian family. Unless we understand that the Christian family folds itself into the church family. And that it is the church family which makes sense of the family.
That the church family is not an addendum, it's not something that you join like joining a club. No, it is something that you are. Do you absent yourself from your family meals? Do you remember that movie Avalon? No, he said, no, I don't.
Well, let me remind you of it. It was basically really the writer. The writer based it on his own family background. And the only thing that I ever remembered about it was one line from an early part of the movie. And you don't know what that line is?
You cut the toiki? You cut that toiki? I love that. I said, what is that about?
Well, what he's trying to say is, you cut the turkey.
Okay. But they live in New Jersey. And he is the oldest member of the family. He is the elder of five brothers. And he knows that the way the family works.
You wait till everyone is present. I can't believe it. You cut the turkey. you have violated the whole family framework.
Well, I get that. You take for example the church family. He started a meal without me? Hey, I'll be there. You mean the communion is supposed to be a family meal?
I only go every so often. Loved ones, I'll tell you what the real challenge is. Many of us do not understand church. We are able to congratulate ourselves. on a meagre level of commitment.
but without recognizing. the nature of actually what's going on.
Now It is to this matter of the family that we will return, but we need to, in setting it up, just say something. in acknowledgment of the cultural setting in which we are living. And Let me say first of all that families that function together with with a shared If you're like Moral understanding. Families like that. are increasingly an endangered species.
They're weird. And since many of us don't want to be felt weird, The temptation is To blur the edges, to soften the calls, to say, no, it doesn't really mean what it means.
Sociologies recognize that right now today in America A minority of American households. are two parent families. And a diminishing number are actually two parent mum and dad. families. Marriage When it is adopted, and it is increasingly not adopted.
When marriage is adopted, It is no longer primarily about child rearing, raising and rearing. But it is actually about personal fulfilment. Listen to people. as you counsel with your friends. What do they say?
I deserve better than this. He is not that. She is not this. This is for me. This is about me.
This is about my place in the universe. And then they suddenly realize, well, that's a Fascinating notion. The birth rate in America. continues To fall. There are more American homes with pets living in them.
than with children living in them. Quote The sexual revolution has come and gone. and it has left us with no governing norms of family life. No guiding values. No articulated ideals.
Our shared culture has nothing to say.
Now, that's not a comment made by some annoyed old. minister somewhere. No, that is a that's a contemporary a journalist. And what do we know?
Well, we know this, that the vacuum is quickly filled. with an agenda that comes from the dark side. That absolutely rejects the God of creation. Sees no need for redemption. and believes that We will be able to muddle through on our own, provided we are free to tinker with it as we choose.
And so, for example, here from the Times of London just earlier in the year, an article, The Advantage of Three Fathers. One can always take a holiday. This is just commonplace. It would be funny if it wasn't tragic. Many new parents recall their first months with a baby as a time of sleeplessness interspersed with moments of panic, if they can recall it at all.
It was not like that for Ian Jenkins. a medical professor from San Diego. who made history with his two partners. As the first known family to have three fathers registered on the birth certificates of their two children. You want to know about the cultural context?
You want to know about the nature of the Christian family? It's not about producing perfect little children because we can't. It's certainly not about wrapping the turning our children into little souls that can't experiment with anything, can't go anywhere. We're like curling parents, you know. We remember in curling, they have those brushes and they smoothing out every little bump, every little thing, in order that the thing might get to its destination.
You see, the parents, they're no longer helicopter parents, they're no longer looking down from the sky. Oh, wait a minute, where are you going? What are you doing? No, no, now they're the curling parents. Oh, poor little Johnny.
Oh, we don't want him to have a little bump to deal with, and she's not going to be able to handle it. This is where we live. This is where you live. I'm surely not alone, am I, in feeling? that I have a front row seat.
at the decline of a culture. And it's not a movie. It's not a movie. You say, well, you better get your last point. Here I go.
The biblical context we will return to. The cultural context is an ongoing observation. But listen. What about the gospel solution? You see, we need only to scratch very lightly below the surface.
of our conversations with our friends and neighbors. And they will acknowledge. That things are broken. They will be prepared ultimately, and it won't take a lot of pushing. to recognize that they do not have a secure base.
upon which to build what they're doing. They have not had a reasonable explanation. For who they are. what they are. and why they're here.
And since traditionally those values were to be passed on within the framework of. The nuclear family. If the parents have lost sight of their origin and of their destiny, They then have no means of navigating a path through life except a path of their own creating. Therefore, their teenage children are left saying, well, my parents don't have an answer. Therefore, they will then try the wider culture for an answer.
When they find the wider culture simply introduces them to confusion and heartache, they begin to look into themselves for an answer. And along that road will come many religious people with all kinds of hocus-pocus ideas. What are we to say? Yeah.
Well, you say, I mentioned Avalon. You say, yeah, well, you're just old now. Yeah, I guess it's fine. But some of you are also kind of old.
Some of you remember the old days when Aunts and uncles and cousins used to sit around the table.
Sometimes he used to sing around the piano. Do you remember the old days when you used to sit and watch TV together? But now everybody has their own TV. Everybody has their own screen. We are.
Alone Together. And we are the product of our great desires. Privacy. Self-sufficiency, security. And privacy comes at a price.
35% of Americans over the age of 45 say that they are chronically lonely. 35%, a third of the nation. I am alone in the world. The decentralization of the nuclear family. Is reinforced by the decentralization of the church family.
And I would argue that the distinguishing feature of the Christian family will only be known in the latter half of the 21st century when those who profess to be the parents of Christian families get to grips with what it means for them to be part of the church family. It starts there. and flows out there. Your children are not there as your friends. They are there as your children.
It's not a quiz game to find out what we're doing on Sunday. Either lead Or you will be moved. Out of the way. Isn't it interesting too? that while the Christi while the family is is pushed to the side, People are fascinated with genealogy.
They want to belong to someone. In fact, I was staggered to find in doing a little research this week that sociologists are now documenting an increasing interest. in kinship. Kinship. Yeah.
They're talking about In society, the longing for a mutuality of being. for a solidarity of souls. For a chosen sense of cooperation, to be discovered somewhere either genetically, emotionally, mystically, or spiritually.
Well, our time is gone. We must come back to it. But let me tell you what my notes say. The church family If ordered according to God's plan, is the solution to all these needs. The church founding.
Because the church family is made up of of the citizens of the king. And the king knows exactly what he's doing. And the king will not be thwarted. And his plans are absolutely true.
So, it is the church family that provides the answer in a woke culture. to the issues. of racial Inequalities. It's a church family. It's not actually in telling people, well, I'm really into this or I'm really into that.
You can be into whatever you want, but the fact of the matter is: read Colossians in this section that we just had, and what does he say? There's neither Greek, there is Jewish, there's neither Scythian, there's neither barbarian, there's neither bond, there's neither free. What do you mean? Because Christ is all. And Christ is in all.
Okay, so the answer Is actually found in the church. Therefore, the church is supposed to be made up of people who say, I wouldn't want to be with these people, were it not for one thing. Actually, were it not for one person? I spoke to one of my black friends in Washington, D.C. during the week just to make sure I hadn't lost my mind.
And he said to me, You're not going to get many people come to your church. I heard your music. The black people don't like your music. I said, well, what do you want me to do, Tony? You want me to change it or something?
He said, no, don't change it. That would be like tokenism. Don't do that. You are what you are. But if the people want to acknowledge their union in Christ, they will be prepared to forego some of their concerns about the nature of praise in order to be present under the teaching of the Bible and in the fellowship of God's people.
I say, well, good, that's at least there's a hope in that. There certainly is. And I understand it. Loneliness? Alone in a crowd?
How lonely was the lady at the well? No. Yeah.
How lonely was the cheat Zacchaeus? How lonely are some of our teenagers? Single parents. Maybe. Maybe single parents should.
Should team up. You know, I mean, I'm not a single parent, but. If I was Maybe I would I don't know how you do it, but I mean You don't have to live alone like that. You have a family. He said, well, that's just a word.
Yeah, I think so. until we make it not just a word. And on the issues. of our unitedness. The quest is not for homogeneity.
It's not a homogeneous group. It's not we all the same size, the same height, the same social status. No, we have different ethnic backgrounds, different ethnic traits. We have different social contexts. Of course, we do.
We have individual personalities. And in Christ, that is not obliterated, that is not flattened. As if somehow or another the church is made up of a really bad-looking room that is just painted an ugly color of beige, you know. It's like, whoa, what is this? Or worse still, the gray, you know, that gray that makes you reach for a sweater.
You know, it's very, it's very modern. It's very, it's all gray. Yeah.
Well, is that what you're talking about? No. No, we're actually talking about the Rainbow Coalition. They can't have that. That's ours.
That's ours. No, we actually believe that. Red, yellow, black, white, all precious in his sight. Of course, that the door is open widely to all, and the invitation is expressed to all.
So that We might then not find ourselves living in some kind of uh strange and tasteless environment. But rather That we would It would be vibrant. Vibrant. You know, I think it's time to stand up, speak up, and everything else. Here's another one.
And I It's time to let our guard down. It's time to let the guard down. It's time to be prepared to tell other people, look, I stink. It's time to be prepared to let other people know. that as we seek to make our journey through life, We're dealing with all kinds of stuff.
We're in a continual war against the world of flesh and the devil. We get it right some days, we get it wrong two out of four. We sin in our words, we sin in our deeds. We have nothing to say in defense of ourselves safe. the righteousness that is found in Jesus.
So then suddenly The family. Because you know you go to some families and it doesn't. It feels stiff. It's like, what what am I supposed to do? And then you go you go to other families.
I remember years ago, I had a girlfriend. Cold Susan. And she lived in London. She said she'd take me to a friend's house. And th it was in Portman Towers.
Just a night's bridge. And we went up on the lift. And the door opened, and a guy, it was a father, came out of the door and said, Come in my house. Come in, my house. I'm like, whoa, back off, man.
Jeez, what do you mean? Come in my house. Yeah, I come in. But then I thought about afterwards, that was nice. That was a welcome.
As opposed to Now what are you doing here? Haven't seen you around much. Yeah.
We'll come back to this. Lord God in heaven, We are the learners. From the one who has all the answers. We turn as children. To you, our Heavenly Father, we turn.
to the Lord Jesus Christ as our elder brother. very much that in the present Strange climate. That It's not time for us to curse the darkness and round up the wagons. But it's time for us. imaginatively, graciously, kindly.
Um live out this the story of the gospel. We ask for your help. And we pray. To this end, in Christ's name, Amen. You're listening to Truth for Life with Alice Durbeg.
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