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Now, here's today's podcast, From Pathway to Victory. Hi, this is Robert Jeffers, and I'm glad to study God's Word with you every day on this Bible teaching program. On today's edition of Pathway to Victory, God's Word says, no sex. outside of marriage.
Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived, learned the hard way. But the best way to experience emotional and sexual fulfillment in life. is to follow God's guideline. which is simply to graze in your own pasture. Welcome to Pathway to Victory with author and pastor Dr.
Robert Jeffers. In America today, an alarming number of couples are filing for divorce due to infidelity.
So why are so many marriages coming to an untimely end? Today on Pathway to Victory, Dr. Robert Jeffress addresses the highly sensitive topic of extramarital affairs, why they happen, and how we can keep them from destroying our lives. But first, let's take a moment to hear some important ministry updates. Thanks, David, and welcome to Pathway to Victory.
Today, we're dealing with a sensitive subject. King Solomon's Counsel to Husbands and Wives was written thousands of years ago, but it's never been more relevant than right now. Any historian can tell you that decadence has pervaded cultures all the way back to the beginning of time. And compromise in marriage always bears the same outcome, misery and disappointment. And so, during today's program, we'll seek Solomon's counsel in Proverbs chapter 5 on how to protect our marriages from any semblance of compromise.
Now, this is one of the subjects I've addressed in my best-selling book called The Solomon Secrets, 10 Keys to Your Success. This is one of the most highly requested books in our collection because the application is so needed and clear. And when you give a generous gift, a pathway to victory, we'll make sure a copy is sent promptly to your home. And if you've never contacted us before, today is a wonderful day to do that. I'd like to send you, without any cost or obligation, something I'm very proud of, the In God We Trust, two-disc patriotic celebration by our world-class First Baptist Dallas Choir and Orchestra.
along with messages from me. It's my gift to you just for reaching out. And I think it will leave you both stirred and grateful. David and I will give more details on these resources later. But right now, let's begin today's message titled, Graze in Your Own Pasture.
I read the account of a group of Florida teenagers who were found guilty. of a brutal murder. They had taken the lives of three innocent citizens. and the weapon was neither a gun nor a knife. In fact, these teenagers were not even present.
when their victims were killed. But they were guilty of the crime. As a prank, these teenagers had removed the stop signs at a four-way intersection. The result was motorists, when they should have stopped. They proceeded.
The result was a fiery crash that cost them their lives. Today, we're living in a culture in which people are trying to remove the stop signs. that God has put into place. Stop signs for our benefit. Our culture is telling us that it's okay to proceed.
When God has said to stop. They're telling us it's okay to engage in behavior. which God has forbidden. And whenever we ignore God's stop signs, God's boundaries in our life. The results are much more catastrophic than even a fiery automobile crash.
Today, as we continue our series on the book of Proverbs, we're going to look at one of those stop signs that God has put into effect for our benefit. It's a stop sign that is being routinely ignored today. But if we are going to master the art of living well, which is what Proverbs in this series is all about, We have to pay attention to this stop sign. It's a stop sign regarding Our sexual behavior. And the stop sign is very clear, it's very simple.
God's Word says, no sex. outside of marriage.
That boundary, that stop sign, has been put into effect for our benefit, yet, when we ignore it, We're putting our emotional our spiritual and even our financial well-being at risk. Instead of Ignoring that stop sign.
Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived, learned the hard way. But the best way to experience emotional and sexual fulfillment in life. is to follow God's guideline. which is simply to graze in your own pasture. And let's look at that in the scripture today.
If you have your Bibles, I want you to turn to Proverbs chapter 5. Proverbs chapter 5. Once I was speaking at Aig. Family conference, and one evening I spoke on the subject. of adultery.
And I closed my message. By saying to the audience that night, there are some of you here this evening. who are engaged in an affair. in a relationship with someone other than your mate. You think nobody knows what you're up to.
That may or may not be true. But God knows. God's watching. And God will judge. And I close with Proverbs 5:21.
For the ways of a man are before the eyes of the Lord, and he watches over all of his paths. We finished the conference, and Amy and I were walking down to the ice cream stand where people would gather after the evening conference. And Amy always gives me good feedback on my messages, and she said, Now Robert, wasn't that a little over the top? A little melodramatic. I mean, how do you know somebody in that conference was engaged in an extramarital affair.
30 minutes later, we're standing there eating our ice cream and socializing with the conference people. The conference director comes up to me and he says, How did you know? How did you know? I said, how did I know what? Said, how did you know that this week one of the conference participants has been engaged in an open affair with somebody else's wife?
Well, the fact is, I didn't know. But I knew in a crowd that size, I know in a crowd this size. That there are some of you who are engaged in sexual sin right now. I've seen it for 30 years in ministry over and over again. A father locked in a bitter custody battle for his children because his wife has left him for another man.
or even another woman. Or a wife who feels belittled and betrayed because of her husband's addiction to pornography. Or a Christian leader who has to give up his ministry all because of an improper relationship with a counsellor. All we have to do is look around and see the effects of sexual immorality. They're everywhere.
Solomon understood, perhaps, better than anyone. the cost of sexual immorality. You remember the circumstances regarding Solomon's life? Remember his parents? King David.
And the woman Bathsheba. Bathsheba and David had been involved in that illicit affair that was the scandal of the kingdom of Israel. As a result of that illicit affair, they produced a child who died as a result of God's judgment. They later tried to legitimize their relationship and they got married, David and Bathsheba, and they produced a child named Solomon. But even though God forgave David of his affair, With Bathsheba.
David spent the rest of his life suffering the consequences of that affair. Those consequences included a divided kingdom. A disloyal son and a dead child. You would think that Solomon would have learned, but he didn't. The fact is, Solomon inherited his father's proclivity for sexual immorality.
By the way, dad's here today. If you're living an immoral life, Don't be surprised when your sons and daughters fall into immorality as well. They learn that behavior from you. I'm reading right now the new biography on Joseph Kennedy Sr., the patriarch of the Kennedy clan. If you want to understand the sexual, the well-documented sexual immorality of John F.
Kennedy and his older brother Joe Jr. and Ted Kennedy, all you have to do. is look at what they saw in their father. In fact, the book says that the sons, when they came of age and began to get involved sexually, they talked about their dad and all of his young girlfriends that he kept around him. They learned that behavior from their dad.
And dad's the same thing is true of you. If you're engaged in sexual immorality, your kids will pick up on it. Your kids are watching you and they are going to imitate your behavior. That's exactly what happened to Solomon. He followed in his father's footsteps, and we find the sad epitaph of his life in 1 Kings 11, verses 3 and 4.
Look at how Solomon's life ended. And he had 700 wives, princesses, and 300 concubines. And his wives turned his heart away. For it came about when Solomon was old that his wife turned his heart away after other gods, and his heart was not wholly devoted to the Lord his God, as the heart of David his father had been. Although Solomon chose not to learn from his father's mistake until it was too late.
The fact is you and I can learn from Solomon's mistakes. Late in life, he collected these proverbs and he talked about the cost of sexual immorality. What happens to a person who falls into sexual immorality? Just jot down some of these verses. Proverbs 5, verses 3 to 5 and 8 to 9.
For the lips of an adulteress drip honey, and smoother than oil is her speech. But in the end, she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword. Her feet go down to death. Her steps lay hold of sheol. Keep your way far from her, and do not go near the door of her house, lest you give your vigor to others, and your years to the cruel one.
Or Proverbs 6, verses 26 and 27. For on account of a harlot, one is reduced to a loaf of bread, an adulteress hunts for the precious life. Can a man take fire in his bosom and others and not be burned? Verses 32 and 33 of Proverbs 6: The one who commits adultery with a woman is lacking sense. He who would destroy himself does it.
Wounds and disgrace he will find, and his reproach will not be blotted out. Or Proverbs 22, verse 14: The mouth of an adulteress is a deep pit. He who is cursed of the Lord will fall into it. You get the idea. Why is it that intelligent men and women, many of whom claim to be Christians, Why is it so many of them are willing to jeopardize their career, abandon their families, and even reject their faith?
In order to follow and fall into a relationship that is destined to fail. Remember, the Bible says, as a man is in his heart, that is his mind, so is he. All immorality begins in the mind. There is wrong thinking that leads a person into sexual immorality. And today, for the few minutes that we have, we're going to look at what I call five fatal fallacies found in the book of Proverbs.
Five fatal fallacies in our thinking that lead to sexual immorality and especially adultery. Let's jot those down today. Number one. What's the fallacy, the error that leads us into sexual immorality? It's the thought that it could never happen to me.
It could never happen to me.
Now, speaking of stop signs, I need to stop here. and give a word of explanation. When Solomon writes about sexual immorality, he is primarily referring to adultery. But this stop sign that says no sex out of marriage talks about any kind of sex outside of the marriage relationship. In 1 Corinthians 6, verse 18, Paul wrote, Flee immorality, for every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body.
That word immorality in Greek is the word porneia. We get our word pornography from it. And the word porneia is an umbrella term. It refers to any kind of sexual activity outside of the marriage relationship. For example, for single adults, it would be fornication.
When a single adult engages in sex with someone other than his mate, that is fornication, sex outside of the marriage relationship. A homosexuality. That is sex with somebody of the same sex. That is out of the bounds of God's relationship. Pornography.
Pornea, immorality, graffiti writing, that is receiving sexual fulfillment from sexual writing, or in today's world, the internet, or digitally. Any sex outside of the marriage relationship is classified as immorality. And the reason I mention that is because today we're going to talk about what Solomon says specifically about adultery. But what he says about adultery is also true about fornication, premarital sex. It's true about homosexuality.
It's true about. pornography as well.
Now, what does the Bible say about this?
Well, first of all, the Bible says, don't ever fool yourself into saying it could never happen to me.
Some of you are already starting to feel a little self-righteous right now. He said, Well, Pastor, I could never fall into doing that. Don't fool yourself. The fact is, any one of us here today, in day one, watching on Pathway to Victory, any one of you is. Capable of falling into sexual immorality.
I'm capable of falling into sexual immorality. And the reason is twofold. The reason all of us are susceptible to sexual immorality is, first of all, because we have all inherited a corrupt nature. In Romans 5, verse 12, Paul says, For through one man, Adam, sin came into the world, and death spread to all men because all men sinned. Every one of us have inherited this proclivity toward immorality, toward sin.
We had this corrupt nature. The Russian dissident Alexander Soltsenitsyn said: the line that divides good and evil. Runs through the heart of every man. Every one of us is capable because of this inherited corrupt nature. But there's a second reason we're all susceptible to this sin, and that is because we have an active opponent.
We have an enemy who has set his sights to destroy every one of us. In Ephesians 6, verses 11 and 12, Paul writes, Put on the full armor of God, that you may be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood. But against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. Listen to what James said in James 1:14.
But each one of us is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust.
Now, this is key, folks, to understanding how Satan is going to bring destruction into your life. How are we tempted when we are, first of all, carried away? That Greek word, alkomine, means to be drawn with an inward power. That refers to our corrupt nature that we have. What is it that causes sin?
It's first of all, our own corrupt nature. We're tempted when we are carried away, that is, drawn, but also when we are enticed. That word enticed, you've heard me say before, is a fishing term. You know how a fisherman does his thing. He'll take a.
Peace out. bait and he will put it on a hook. And he drops it, plops it in the water at just the right spot, hopefully. And when that fish, who is blinded by hunger, sees that bait, that fish snaps at the bait. Not realizing that in the middle of it is a hook that's going to destroy him.
Now listen to this. Satan is a master fisherman. He already knows you have that hunger. We all have that hunger toward emotional and sexual fulfillment. And he knows just the right time to plop that piece of temptation right in front of us.
He knows when we're hungriest. He knows when we are most vulnerable. And at that most vulnerable time in our life when we are most craving that emotional and sexual fulfillment, he drops that bait in front of us. And people snap at it. They bite at it, not realizing that right in the center is a hook that will cost them their life.
That's how sexual temptation works. My friend and late mentor, Dr. Howard Hendricks told me one time that he used to keep with him a little black book. Not the kind you're thinking about. There's a different kind of a little black book.
In that black book, he had recorded the names of every pastor he knew, every friend, every colleague who had fallen into sexual immorality. And he said one day he was on the plane, he took that book out and started looking at that. List of names, it had grown to 100 people, 100 pastors and Christian leaders. And he said, You know, I wondered, is there any common denominator among these hundred men? And there was.
He said the common denominator was: every one of them thought it could never happen to him. Don't let yourself think that you are above this, that it could never happen to you. In Proverbs 18, verse 12, Solomon says, Before destruction, The heart of a man is haughty, prideful. But humility goes before honor. Listen to me, our corrupt nature that we all have.
Our active opponent, Satan himself, whom we all have. Means not one of us here today is exempt from the possibility of sexual immorality. Fallacy number two that leads to immorality and destruction. We are only friends. You know, most affairs.
Both sexual immorality. begins as a friendship. That is Set to meet some great emotional need that we have. Marriage counselor and author Dr. Carlfred Broderick.
Has interviewed dozens of couples, all of whom had pledged themselves to sexual fidelity in marriage, and all of whom fell into sexual immorality. And after his study, this is what he concluded. He said, I am convinced that more people get themselves into the pain of infidelity through empathy, concern, and compassion. than through any base motive. The world is full of lonely and vulnerable people, hungry for a sympathetic ear and a shoulder to cry on.
Solomon understood that. He knew how easy it was for friends to turn into lovers, and that's why he said in Proverbs 4, verse 23, watch over your heart with all diligence. For from it your heart Flow the springs of life. You see, the fact is, ladies and gentlemen, most affairs don't begin in the bedroom. They begin in the heart.
Usually, somebody or both parties are looking for fulfillment outside of the relationship that they're engaged in, and what happens is they find a sympathetic and empathetic ear, and very quickly it degenerates into sexual expression. In fact, it's interesting to me. How many times in Proverbs Solomon connects Sexual immorality with the spoken word. Jot these verses down, Proverbs 2, verse 16. To deliver you from the strange woman, that's the adulteress, from the adulteress who flatters with her words.
Or Proverbs 5 verse 3, for the, what, the lips of an adulteress drip honey. And smoother than oil is her speech. Or Proverbs 7, verse 5: that they may keep you from an adulteress, from the foreigner who flatters with her words.
Now, I'm not saying for those of you who are married That means you never ever engage in a conversation with somebody of the opposite sex. But what I am saying, and more importantly, what God's Word is saying, you better be very careful about speaking to someone of the opposite sex who is not your mate. Because what can begin as an innocent, superficial conversation. can suddenly turn into an intimate conversation. That meets some deep emotional need that you or that other person has.
Forming an emotional bond that eventually expresses itself sexually. And that's why we need to be very careful about friendships with those people of the opposite sex who are not our mate.
Solomon said, Drink water from your own cistern, and fresh water from your own well. Such an eloquent way to describe the benefits of monogamy.
Well, there's much more we need to discover in Proverbs chapter 5. Remember, you can request the complete audio and video message from Pathway to Victory. In a moment, David will give you all the details on requesting these recordings. But that's not all because I want to send you my best-selling book called The Solomon Secrets. There are several chapters devoted to subjects such as healthy relationships and succeeding in the workplace.
It also includes a full chapter on the matters we discuss today. and a copy is yours. When you give a generous gift to support the ministry of Pathway to Victory, Now, it's possible that you've already raised your children and you're at a point where you can invest in other families. Let me encourage you to take the next step in your support of Pathway to Victory as one of our Pathway Partners. A Pathway Partner is someone who signs up to financially support Pathway to Victory every month.
As a Pathway Partner, you receive exclusive benefits. But the best part is this: God will use your monthly giving to touch others with the truth and light of God's Word. Here's David to tell you more. Today, when you give a generous gift to support the Ministry of Pathway to Victory, or when you sign up to become a Pathway Partner, You're invited to request a copy of Dr. Jeffers' best-selling book, The Solomon Secrets.
Here's our toll-free number, 866-999-2965. You can visit ptv.org or text ptv to 78800. And when your gift is $75 or more, we'll also send you this month's teaching series, also called The Solomon Secrets, on DVD video and MP3 format audio disc. One more time, call 866-999-2965. or make your request online at ptv.org.
To send your donation by mail right to PO Box 223-609 Dallas, Texas 75222. That's P.O. Box 223-609, Dallas, Texas, 75222. I'm David J. Mullins, inviting you to join us next time to discover more of Solomon's time-tested wisdom for husbands and wives.
That's coming up Tuesday here on Pathway to Victory. Pathway to Victory with Dr. Robert Jeffress comes from the pulpit of the First Baptist Church of Dallas, Texas. What if your next vacation changed the way you read your Bible forever? Join me for nine nights sailing the Mediterranean with every detail taken care of.
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