Godly Friendships, Part 3

Stand by. Leading the way with Dr. Michael Yusef begins right now. Here now is Dr. Yusef to introduce this episode's topic. Today we're going to see how being equipped for godly friendship has to be anchored in confidence and trust in the Lord whom you proclaim that you believe in. That's very important.

Listen to me very carefully. The essence of godly friendship is not who you know, but who you are. Friendship does not depend upon who your daddy is, but who your Heavenly Father is. In the Old Testament book of First Samuel, you can watch the special relationship between David and Jonathan.

Now, despite the contempt that Jonathan's father, King Saul, had for David, Jonathan developed and maintained a strong bond and devotion with his friend. Welcome to Leading the Way, where up next Dr. Michael Yusef continues his inspiring series called Godly Friendships. Do remember that Leading the Way is listener supported. Worldwide ministry is made possible through your generosity, so find out how you can be a part of impacting the world with the gospel when you visit us at ltw.org. Now listen with me as Dr. Michael Yusef begins a challenging message he's called Don't Blame Your Family. Today we're going to see how being equipped for godly friendship has to be anchored in confidence and trust in the Lord whom you proclaim that you believe in. That's very important.

Listen to me very carefully. There is no doubt in my mind that early childhood influences our character and development. There is no doubt about that. Look, there's little doubt in anybody's mind that early upbringing impacts our emotional stability.

There can be little doubt that parents instability affects a child's emotional health. There is no doubt. On that everybody agrees. We know that the family is the basic laboratory for learning and developing biblical self-worth, true self-worth.

It is the laboratory in which we learn skills for interpersonal relationship. There is no doubt about that. Nobody disagrees on that. But I want you to listen to what I'm going to tell you and I want you to hear me carefully. The essence of godly friendship is not who you know but who you are. Godly friendship does not depend upon meeting the right people but being the right people.

Friendship does not depend upon who your daddy is but who your heavenly father is. But here's the core of the problem. Most people don't like who they are. We are so desperate for people to like us we will almost do anything for approval. We are so desperate for acceptance that we try to become the persons that we want to be not the person we are.

Hear me right. The wonderful truth about the gospel is this that we can be equipped for godly friendship regardless of your family background. We can be equipped for godly friendship regardless of re-education process. You can be equipped for godly friendship not by taking a crash course on the personal relationship now not by taking a crash course on developing self-esteem not by taking a crash course on being who you are not not on taking a crash course on faking it till you make it no and a million no. The good news of the gospel is this that no matter how checkered your past may be no matter how mixed up your family was no matter how badly you were treated no matter how unfortunate your schooling may be no matter how obscure your identity may be god wants to give you a new identity god wants to give you his supernatural power god wants to give you his abundant grace god wants to give you his victory he wants to give you forgiveness and he wants to give you authority over sin. God wants to equip you for friendship. Now Jonathan the biblical character that we looked at in the last message is a perfect example of someone who was a candidate either for social dropout or embittered rebel but he was neither. Now I say wait a minute wait a minute Michael you told us in the last message that Jonathan was a prince Jonathan was the heir apparent to the throne of Israel you told us that he was pampered and had servants yes I said exactly that but you must understand that Jonathan did not come ready-made for godly friendship and that's what I'm going to be talking about today Jonathan did not come equipped for godly friendship Jonathan was not born ready to be the highest example or one of the highest example of friendship in all of the scripture and you know what none of us are none of us are none of us come ready come equipped. Now some of you might be saying you don't understand Jonathan does not have the trouble background that I have you don't understand you don't understand Jonathan did not experience the hardship growing up that I had Jonathan did not know the kind of abuse that I grew up in you don't understand that well have you heard the saying that appearances can be deceiving Jonathan by all means was a prince he probably was on the short list for cocktail parties all around town no doubt he's probably was listed in some of those magazines back in Israel as the most eligible bachelor Jonathan was escorted and courted by the high and the mighty and the beautiful but that's not the end of the story many years ago it's really been a number of years now with the early days of this church a man came to me and he sat in my office and he just said I doesn't think God can use him and I kept asking why well you know I didn't go to the right schools I just didn't join the right fraternity and every time I said what and he would tell me this stuff and I was sitting there listening and you know I think you all know how very patient I am and I waited for what appeared to be eternity for me I mean just and just a sense of ludicrous in me I looked at him and I said do you know what high school I went to I said nobody ever heard of it not even people in my town you know what the problem is that's the bottom line he was refusing to let the past be the past whatever it may be and that's the problem there's so many people have been shackled by their past today and they're unable to accomplish anything for God and unable to have victory in the last because they've been unshackled by these chains of the past I want a medal just for two seconds before I continue preaching I am here to testify to you that all that God wants to use anybody I don't care who it is is perfect obedience that's all he wants the only qualification that God is looking for is total obedience nothing else all the other stuff is junk it's just a filler it doesn't mean anything Paul called it dung that's exactly what he called it in Corinthians back to Jonathan you know Jonathan had three strikes against him in fact I wouldn't even call them strikes I call them blows incredible blows now I want you to try to put yourself in his place as I tell you a little bit about the problems he was facing and I want you to tell me nothing person but between you and God if you really have that kind of trouble like this man Jonathan who learned to love and to be a lover of people and a great friend strike number one troubled family life of the kind you'll never understand trouble number two miserable environment like you will never experience trouble number three a bleak future dark future you say all this about this prince yes I want you to look with me here he had checkered past defeated presence and bleak future and yet in spite of all this God equipped him to be a great friend trouble family life look I know and you know that probably there is no greater influence and an impact that you have upon a young boy than the influence and of the character of the father the impact that we have upon our children not in words not in the teaching but our lives and our character that's the impact the greatest impact a boy sees in his dad and whatever he sees in his dad it's imprinted in his mind forever now in this case in Jonathan's case you're going to find the worst example of a father can you ever find in the scripture the story of king Saul the king of Israel is one of those incredible stories of a wasted potential he had no heart for God all the things of God he was egotistical maniac Saul was swimming in insecurity and in jealousy he was drowning in fear and self-confidence and when he appeared on the scene in the scripture he didn't even know who Samuel the prophet of God was everybody knew the prophet that somehow Saul didn't know he was and when he met Samuel what he was doing he was looking for a lost donkeys that his dad lost and I tell you frankly spiritually speaking when you read about the life of Saul he's no better than those donkeys the spiritual vacuum in Saul's life twisted his character some of you might have had fathers like this listen to me please I want to tell you on the authority of the word of God that your heavenly father can overrule all that don't dwell on it Saul was incapable of loving or giving love his love was selfish and only given to those who were serving him you say wow that's a terrible model of a father and I agree with you but that's not all that's not all Jonathan had to contend with we know very little about his mother in fact what just about all we know is her name Ahonaim and then we know again in the part of the scripture when Saul was verbally abusing his son Jonathan and screaming at him in first Samuel 2030 he said to him he said you son of a perverse and rebellious woman given even the heat of the moment and the anger and everything else that gives you a really an insight into Jonathan's family life I mean his father and mother were obviously locked in conflict anger and fighting all the time Jonathan knew what it is like to be raised up in a divided home he never experienced what it is like to grow up in a home where both parents deeply love each other and all the security that comes from that he did not know any of this not only that he experienced family conflict but secondly his environment was so pathetic you can't even describe it you can't even imagine it none of us in our days and I've been all over the world I've never seen anything like this let me give you a quick background what happened the Philistines have absolutely absolutely reduced the people of Israel into servitude I mean there was nothing left they decimated the nation the nation over which Jonathan's father presided became impotent and weak you know the Bible said in first Samuel 13 6 & 7 it tells us that people were hiding in the caves they were hiding in the cliffs and they were hiding in the pits people hiding everywhere just surviving because the moment they crawl out they're going to get killed by the Philistines that's how bad it was in first Samuel 13 22 tells us that the Philistines stripped Israel of all the weapons that the whole nation had only two swords and they were in the hand of Jonathan and his father's soul imagine the incredible mark indelible mark that this has left in the mind of Jonathan as he watched his father's indecisiveness and impotence destroy society not only was his family messed up not only that his environment was abysmal but thirdly his father's sin deprived him of his future god's prophet sam will told king Saul he said go to such a such place in Gibeah he said wait for me do not offer a sacrifice until i come there and then i will offer a sacrifice before we go to war but Saul who was so impetuous and so rebellious in his heart who had a twisted character could not wait for god's man and could not obey the command of god and he went ahead and offered sacrifice and sam will comes in first sam was 13 13 and he said to him you have acted foolishly and you have not kept the commandment of the lord your god which he commanded you the lord could have established your kingdom over israel forever in other words Jonathan would have been the heir apparent Jonathan would have been the king after you but he said now your kingdom shall not endure the lord has sought out for himself a man after his own heart and the lord had appointed him as a ruler over his people because you have not kept what the lord commanded you i don't know about you i can't take this i mean Jonathan was bearing the brunt of his dead sin Jonathan became disqualified to be the king because of his father's wickedness Jonathan lost his future because of his father's disobedience now you could not get any more dysfunctional than this but i want you to listen to what i'm going to tell you if ever there was a qualified candidate for bitterness or anger Jonathan was Jonathan could have rightly cried out why me Jonathan could have lashed out within violence and anger Jonathan could have welled in self-sorrow but instead Jonathan entered into one of the scripture's greatest friendships he was equipped with godly character to be a godly friend and what i'm going to tell you from now on is of uttermost importance if you forget everything i've said so far i don't want you to forget what i'm going to tell you however difficult your past may be however difficult your present might look like however bleak your future may appear from first samuel 14 there you learn the reality of god's power in a man's life who has messed up family had missed up past he had bismill condition for the present and bleak future there you're going to see the reality of god's grace which is longing to work in you and in me to equip us for godly friendship if we allow him not your past not your present not your future listen carefully to the words of verse six of first samuel chapter 14 underline it if you have a bible verse 6 here's what samuel said here speaking to his arm bearer remember the only two swords lifted the whole nation and he said to the arm bearer come and let us go over to the outpost of those uncircumcised fellows perhaps the lord will work on our behalf nothing can hinder the lord from saving wither by many or by few i'm going to repeat that nothing can hinder the lord from saving wither by many or by few now my beloved friends let me tell you something i preach to you the word of god and you know that but i'm going to tell you something i am a testimony to the word of god that i'm preaching to you today i believe this with all my heart i have experienced this with all of my heart i know this to be true the secret for victory and effectiveness in your life is not who what where and all those shallow things that we focus on the secret for victory and effectiveness in your life is how much faith you have placed in the god that you said you believe in how much do you trust and you're willing to trust in the god who died for you how much confidence do you have not in your background not in your net worth not in your success not in your degrees nothing your looks nothing but in your god the god of heaven and earth the father of the lord jesus christ now the whole nation was in turmoil the whole population was hiding in fear the whole army was destroyed and jennathan had every right to look around and look at his miserable condition and look of all the troubles that he's been through and he would say man the heck with that who wants that and walk out and probably nobody will blame him but hear me right please god can accomplish great things in two weak men who trusted him with all their heart and jennathan believed that he knew that his god is the god who parted the red sea he knew that his god is the god who provided supernaturally for his people in the wilderness he knew that his god through joshua with a shout defeated the fortress of jericho he knew that his god through gideon with 300 ordinary men won a victory against great and mighty armies he knew that his god is the same yesterday today and forever it's not the god when you have a good fat bank account and it's not the same god when you are on the line i want to tell you this is only the first qualification for godly friendship if you're finding it difficult to make friends if you're finding it difficult to maintain godly friendship ask yourself the following questions between you and god listen god knows all the very secrets of our hearts you can give the answers you think people want give the answers to god where is my confidence placed if i lose everything tomorrow morning where is my confidence where is my trust to be found in whom am i placing my hope is it in my success is it in my name is it in my good looks is it in my money or is it in the god of hosts one of the reasons friendships are superficial and shallow is basically we have fear in our hearts and the fear we are afraid that people will not like us if they dig beneath the surface and see who really we really are in fact one of the greatest barriers to intimacy in marriage is exactly that you know the old adage is true and it goes something like this we are not what we think we are we are not what others think we are we are what we think others think we are it really is true i want to give you a short testimony as i conclude you know when i came face to face with this and as the lord began to teach me those things so many years ago now i can tell you my family those who are close to me and my friends they will tell you that in my life what you see is what you get now if you don't like what you see and what you get i feel sorry for you you know why because you're missing out on seeing one of god's masterpieces do you know why i believe that because i believe every one of you is a god's masterpiece listen there's no cookie cutters in god's heaven there are no factory there manufacturing the same kind of person you have no duplicates god made you to be you and he loves you for who you are the first step toward wholesome biblical self-worth is to know that you are wonderfully and carefully and meticulously and thoughtfully made by the hand of the lord god he made you by his very hand and the second thing you must remember is this that god loves you so much he valued you so much that he left heaven to die on a cross like a criminal to redeem you from hell and the third thing is this you are indwelt by god the holy spirit and through faith in him he makes you beautiful he makes you precious he makes you special god the holy spirit does not dwell in you because you happen to wear an expensive suit or fashionable clothes no no no get that notion out of your mind god the holy spirit indwells you because god loves you unconditionally jesus died for you unhesitatingly and he redeemed you eternally and if jesus calls you a friend surely surely you can be somebody's friend character of god is the first qualification for godly friendship a reminder from dr michael yusef about the importance of welcoming god into your life and relationships thank you for joining listeners all around the world for leading the way a key relationship that we value at leading the way is our frontline mission partners those are the people who partner with their generosity and gifts by giving regularly to the ministry of dr yusef and leading the way teams all around the world so if you desire to impact the nations for christ but you're not able to join a mission team yourself won't you consider becoming a frontline mission partner with leading the way that way you'll stand with our teams all around the world those who minister through media on six continents in 28 languages you'll be part of the global impact of the gospel and as a benefit you'll receive a photo booklet called on the front lines it'll provide real life pictures of lives changed by your support plus you'll get a generous discount in the leading the way online store updates about current ministry impact and so much more find out about how to become a frontline mission partner at ltw.org slash frontline or call and speak with a ministry representative at our call center that number 866-626-4356 this program is furnished by leading the way with dr michael yusef