Godly Friendships, Part 5

God has placed the responsibilities of governing in our hands. What an incredible privilege, stewardship and responsibility.

Not voting is abdicating your stewardship. I hope you're going to vote and I hope you're going to pray before you vote and let God guide you. God bless. Hello and welcome to Leading the Way Audio with pastor and international evangelist, Dr. Michael Yousaf. Abraham was the only one in the whole entire Bible that was called a friend of God. On what basis was Abraham called the friend of God? On the basis of the covenant that God made with Abraham.

He not only made the covenant, he guaranteed the covenant and that is why Abraham was called a friend of God. Dr. Michael Yousaf, introducing the topic for this episode of Leading the Way. And if you'd like to know more about Leading the Way and how you can partner with Dr. Yousaf in the global mission, please give us a call. 866-626-4356.

Or you can go online, ltw.org. Right now is the perfect time as Dr. Yousaf recently launched the Open Door Campaign. This is a ministry strategy to take the gospel to the unreached. Right now, though, powerful challenge from the Bible about being loyal in your relationships.

Here's Dr. Michael Yousaf. The Arabs have a saying about a true friend. They say, a true friend is a friend to whom you hand the wheat and the chaff of your life together.

And they would gently take both in their hand and so lovingly and carefully blow away the chaff and hand you the wheat back. But Proverbs 17 17 said it best, a friend loves at all the time and a brother is born for adversity. Today I want to talk to you about the distinguishing mark of godly friendship, namely loyalty.

Turn with me please if you have your Bibles to 1st Samuel chapter 19 verses 1 to 7. There in these seven verses we're going to discover a true model for loyalty in godly friendship that is all too rare today. In days gone by, loyalty was considered to be a virtue. But today, somehow, many people look upon loyalty as foolishness or impractical. Some see it as non-beneficial. They see it as outmoded, that is incompatible with modern-day pragmatism. Loyalty, which is indispensable to godly friendship, is seen today as temporary.

Its duration is limited to the benefits gained. It is merely for convenience. In fact, there was a halftime show in a high school game and people sitting in the bleachers and one man sitting way way up on the top while the trumpet was playing solo, that man was yelling right there in the nosebleed section so everybody can hear him. This is my boy who's playing solo on the trumpet. This is my son who's playing. And he kept bragging, this is my boy, listen to him, he's my son. Until the boy started making terrible mistakes. I mean, he was getting those notes all over the place and finally the man was heard to be yelling, said, well, it might be not.

They all look alike from up here. But you know, the secret of David and Jonathan's friendship is found in David's word in 1 Samuel 20 and verse 8. I'm going to give you my own translation of that verse.

It goes like this. David is saying to Jonathan, verse 8, chapter 20, continue your loyalty to me, which is the mark of our covenant. The mark of our covenant, loyalty. We saw in the last message that David and Jonathan entered into a covenant with each other. They entered into a binding covenant of friendship with one another and God himself was the witness of that covenant.

Listen to what I'm going to tell you. This godly friendship was not a mere association of convenience. This godly friendship was not a mere mutually agreed upon business deal.

Now, there is nothing wrong with these things, but I want you to be sure in your mind to make a distinction between these things and godly covenantal friendship. Abraham was the only one in the whole entire Bible that was called a friend of God. On what basis was Abraham called the friend of God? On the basis of the covenant that God made with Abraham. He not only made the covenant, he guaranteed the covenant. God is not only a covenant maker, he is a covenant guarantor. He's a covenant keeper and that is why Abraham was called a friend of God. Jesus said to his disciples, I no longer call you slaves, but what? I call you friends.

Where did he do that? In the upper room, in the context of the covenant that he made with them, the new covenant with the cup and with the bread. He called them friends and I want to tell you that only those who made a covenant with God, those who are loyal to God and to his word, only those can be called friends of God.

We're all the creation of God. We're all created by God, but only those who are in covenant with God are the friends of God. When you are in covenant with God, through the blood of the Lord Jesus Christ, our shed on Calvary, you can talk to your friend about anything and you know that your friend is listening to you and you know that your friend is hearing you and you know that your friend is feeling with you and you know that you can come to him anytime and always and you know you're gonna get a hearing. A friend must be able to tell a covenant friend, I am here for you. You can count on me, not just to go and play golf or play tennis and again there's nothing wrong with these things, but these are different from a covenant friendship.

They are different. The commitment you verbally make to your godly friend, to your covenant friend, will move the relationship from the shallowness of convenience to the depth of security. You know, I heard about the couple who went to see a pastor and they were getting some counseling. The pastor said to the man, he said well do you tell your wife that you love her? He said no. He said why? He said well I told her so 25 years ago and when I changed my mind I'll let her know.

Well that's not exactly what keeps a covenant going. Loyalty in friendship must pass the test with flying color. It must be verbalized. It must be a fed. It must be encouraged.

Why does it have to pass the test? Because this kind of commitment, this kind of relationship, this kind of friendship that we've been talking about is a verbally affirmed as well as an action friendship. In fact, friendship is not real friendship if loyalty is always going your way. Friendship is not friendship if only your friend is good to you and you're not good to him or her. Friendship is not friendship if loyalty is only receiving but never giving. It won't make friendship last for very long.

David and Jonathan's loyalty came under severe pressure but they passed the test. You cannot tell me that you have been in any situation in your life that is worse than this. I haven't. I can't even, I try to even imagine what this is like. I can't imagine it. I can't imagine, I can't fathom it in my mind. Your father wants to kill your covenant friend. I mean just think about it. Thank God we've never been there. Well I'll pray never be there. You see I know that sometimes in-laws and out-laws test our covenant of relationship particularly in marriage but that's why I tell parents and I hope that one day I will be like that and said butt out.

You know when they leave in Cleve let them leave in Cleve. Many times they strain the relationship and help that test to get a C and an F sometimes. You cannot get more severe testing of loyalty than this situation where Jonathan and David are right now.

He cannot get a more severe test. Jonathan hears his father to be saying well go and kill David. David is my covenantal friend. Jonathan hears his father with his own ear to be saying or waging a campaign of slander upon his godly friend.

What a place to be. Now most of us will find ourselves at times hearing our friends get criticized. I often when I hear that I kind of immediately my antennas go up because they often one-sided and unfair and that is why I try in my life not very successfully not all the time but I try to practice in my life and counsel others. Go to the friend directly.

Talk to him not about him. But here is the test. Listen to what I'm going to tell you. Here's the test. How you react when your godly friend is mercilessly criticized says a great deal about you than anything else. In his book Hanging by a Thread Mark Rutland tells a story of a friend of his who's a company president who basically when he does all the interviews for the upper management in his company he has a one final litmus test and that always decide whether he hires the person or not. He normally gets him after he goes through the battery of tests he will take them out to dinner individually and he'll get them relaxed tell them how qualified they are for the job and then he would ask the question tell me about your wife. Well one day he came interviewing two people for a position of vice president. They both were extremely qualified.

Both will do the job just splendidly. So he took one man out one dinner and sat down with him one night and he said to him tell me about your wife and the man said man I am so blessed of God I got a great wife a gracious wife and he went on to praise his wife. He did the same thing the next day and this guy said well you know since I'm really confining in you let me tell you I've got a miserable wife and you know and all and he started putting down his wife.

Guess who got the job? This company president believed with all his heart that the man who is loyal to his covenantal friend his wife is going to be loyal to the company. No friend is exempt from criticism but how you respond when someone criticized friends says volumes about us.

Listen to what Proverbs 16 28 said a perverse man stirs up dissension and a gossip separates close friends. Jonathan could have responded to his father in variety of ways. He could have sold out his friend David and agreed with his father.

You know it's what they call situational ethics. He would say well I'm in that situation I'm just caught in a bind I didn't want to disagree with my father I mean after all I just know him too well and I said well yeah you're right dad and by the way let me tell you a few things about David. No he didn't do that. He could have reacted angrily and he says how can you say that about my friend what right do you have to say that listen to me and he would have blown up his friendship with his father but Jonathan did not do either when instead what did he do he went to encourage his friend David. He told him openly and freely what is happening. You see Jonathan knew his father well enough to know how he will react if he provoked him.

He knew David well enough that if David heard that information from the rumor mill he was going to react in haste. So instead of causing things to get worse what did he do? Jonathan loyal Jonathan exercised the ministry of encouragement.

You know I am convinced in my own heart it is probably the most desperately needed ministry that ministry of encouragement today and least exercised. In fact Jonathan went beyond encouragement to intervention. Verse 4 of first Samuel 19 look at verse 4 and Jonathan spoke well of David to Saul his father. What is Jonathan's concern? Jonathan's great concern was to build up David in the eyes of his critics so he can silence them. Jonathan's concern was to speak well of his friend instead of attacking his critic. Jonathan's big concern was to extol the virtues of his friend David. Jonathan's great concern was to protect his friend's reputation. I am convinced that David could have rested without worry in the world once he placed his reputation in Jonathan's hand. Oh what a loyal friend what a wonderful friend Jonathan what a model for all of us to follow and emulate. But I don't want you to miss the point in verse 6.

It's a vitally important point here that I want you to listen to it very carefully read it on market in your Bible. In verse 6 you're going to see that when Saul was challenged by Jonathan, Saul backed down. What's going on here? What's happening here?

Why all of a sudden Saul backs down? Hear me right please. Critics I mean I'm talking about those habitually critical people. Critical people will back down when they're challenged.

Do you know why? Because often their criticism is built on very few facts if any. People who are with a critical spirit will criticize even the good that you're going to do. It doesn't matter you're not going to escape their criticism. Always assess where the criticism is coming from.

If it comes from an individual who loves you and cares for you a mature Christian you better listen to it. If it comes from a person who habitually criticize everybody everywhere then just let it go. I was brought up to expect criticism. Maybe this is something in our culture because everybody talks about everybody you know in the old country and my father used to say look no matter what you do you're going to get criticized. If you're generous they will say he's extravagant.

If you're tight wad they're gonna say you're a tight wad. So look don't live by criticism. Don't live by praise.

Live by obedience to the Lord. And I tell you I've never forgotten that. Someone said that if a person going around with the Limburger cheese on their upper lip they're going to think the whole world stinks.

Even if they get to a perfume factory they're going to think it stinks. In fact I saw the other day they said you know God created the world in six days and rested on the seventh. Do you know why? Because in the eighth day he began receiving complaints. The critic is someone who points out how imperfectly other people do what that critic does not do at all. But I want you to hear what I'm going to tell you.

This is a vital importance. Most people who have a critical spirit they are like soul. They have inner turmoil.

Far from you shooting back feel sorry for them. Pray for them. Most people who have a critical spirit they like soul. They have spiritual emptiness. Most people with a critical spirit are tormented when they see spiritual vitality as soul was seeing in David.

And I want to tell you if you are an individual who have a critical spirit I believe that God can deliver you today if you would let him. Jonathan being the godly friend that he was not only did he seek to protect David's reputation he became involved in solving the problem. He put himself on the line for his friend David. In fact he was taking a big risk. He knew his father was a bit nutty. He knew his father had an evil spirit upon him and then he can change mood in a very short period of time.

He knew that his father can literally kill him. I want to testify to you today that I will always be grateful to God. Now whenever I'm overwhelmed with pressure I thank God that I have friends like Jonathan. Friends to whom that I can literally go just like that Arab saying go and literally hand them the chaff and the wheat together.

How thankful I am. Listen to this. Those who have been involved in mental health have now concluded the following and I want to read it to you. That when people are experiencing acute mental stress and anxiety a caring and available friend can be every bit as helpful as the skills of professionals.

They said that I'm not saying but I'm tell you I'm not minimizing the skills of the professionals but this says volumes. One of the greatest gift next to salvation that a believer would have is a true loyal friend. I wouldn't take anything in exchange of my friends. Now it doesn't mean that you never disagree. Of course not. If you agree on everything one of you is not necessary. In fact if I read first Samuel chapter 20 correctly I see a major disagreement between Jonathan and David and there the disagreement stemmed from two different perceptions of the circumstances.

It's not that one is wrong and one is right. You see it so clearly there in fact but nonetheless their loyalty to each other was never in question. You can disagree but that should never affect the loyalty. Paul and Barnabas disagreed but it never affected the loyalty to each other.

Paul and John Mark disagreed but then at the end of his life Paul would send specifically said bring John Mark for his beneficial to me. You can disagree without rapture of loyalty. In fact I am personally convinced that the true mark of loyal friendship is the way two friends can handle a disagreement.

I really do. I'm convinced of that. You see at the heart of loyalty there has to be a trust. At the heart of loyalty there has to be a trust and being able to trust good and godly friends stems from the fact that you are able to trust the Lord God the friend with all of your heart.

But here's the problem with most Christians. You know there are many Christians trust God with their salvation but they don't trust him with their money. That is not a complete trust.

They don't trust him with their children. That's not a complete trust and you go on and on and on but I want to tell you something. When you learn to trust your God with all of your heart you're going to develop and learn how to trust a godly friend. A friend that cannot be trusted is like a sprained ankle or a toothache.

I mean it will rob you of your joy and and makes you less effective in life and that is why Jesus is the friend that you can completely trust. You can trust him because he's a friend who sticks to you closer than a brother. He is a friend who never leaves you nor forsakes you. He is a friend who never turns on you and he never rejects you. He is a friend who always with you through the thick and thin. He is a friend who may chastise you and advise you and counsel you but never leaves you.

He is a friend that when you finally learn to trust him you'll be able to trust others again and again and again and you never stop trusting. Thank you for joining Dr. Michael Youssef and listeners around the world for Leading the Way audio. And if what you heard from Dr. Youssef prompted spiritual questions, maybe you'd like to speak with a Leading the Way counselor or a pastor. They'd be so happy to talk with you and you can begin your conversation at ltw.org slash Jesus. The Muslim world is home to 68% of the world's unreached people groups. Since Leading the Way first began impacting the Muslim world through dual language programs in 1996, the ministry has had unique access to one of the most challenging regions in the world and seen an incredible harvest of souls. Through Dr. Youssef's Middle Eastern background and unique 24-7 outreaches like the Kingdom Sat, God has given Leading the Way an unprecedented open door to proclaim the Gospel directly into the Muslim world. Over the next five years, your partnership will enable us to deepen our reach in regions inaccessible to most ministries through the Kingdom Sat television network, our biblically trained field counselors, dual language audio programs, evangelistic literature and discipleship courses, global digital platforms including ltwglobal.org. Leading the Way's work in the Middle East extends beyond broadcasting. We are on the ground providing support and discipleship through our network of biblically trained counselors and underground churches. Our efforts are breaking down barriers and bringing the light of Christ to some of the darkest places in the world. Through your support, we can continue to create innovative programming that uniquely ministers to a Middle Eastern audience. Join Dr. Youssef and go through the open door of opportunity to reach the Muslim world for Christ through Leading the Way. If you'd like to participate in the open door campaign, you can speak with a ministry representative 866-626-4356 or ltw.org. Well next time, Dr. Youssef continues his series called Godly Friendships.

I know you'll want to listen. In fact, here is a small moment from Dr. Youssef's teaching. The Bible gives us specific character traits of people whom we should avoid for close friendship. Now I'm not talking about business associates. I'm not talking about people that you have to deal with all the time. I'm talking about people who are close to you. That's what I'm talking about. This program is furnished by Leading the Way with Dr. Michael Youssef.