Godly Friendships, Part 2

Today on Leading the Way, the godly friendship that inspired King David. David may have been a man after God's own heart, and we don't have. David authored some of the most magnificent psalms and hymns.

David had victory over Goliath. But at this point of his life, he was in danger of bitterness and discouragement. And you know, a good friend knows that. Hello and welcome to Leading the Way Audio with pastor and international evangelist, Dr. Michael Yousaf. We've all experienced something similar. You're discouraged, a little depressed, lunchtime rolls around, you walk down the hall to the break area to grab a drink from the break room, and your eyes connect with a Christian friend. And the moment you're eyes meet, that friend senses you're hurt and begins the process of pouring encouragement into your life. With a look now at the value and the importance of godly friendships.

Here's Dr. Michael Yousaf on Leading the Way. The Bible gives us one of the most outstanding examples of godly friendship. In the last message we saw the incredible example of the Savior's friendship, and how he said, I call you friends. And he said that a friend would lay his life down for a friend.

And I'm sure probably some of you were saying after you heard me and said, you know, it's okay to say that about Jesus. Jesus is the only one who can really do that. Yes, Jesus's friendship is self-sacrificing. Jesus's friendship is life changing. Jesus's friendship is intimate. Jesus's friendship is initiative taking. Jesus's friendship is fruitful. We understand that. But can that friendship really happen between two people, two ordinary people?

I heard that question and I want to answer it today because the answer is yes. Friendship between David and Jonathan in the Old Testament. If you don't know who David and Jonathan were, I'm going to tell you in a little bit later on. But Jonathan and David and that example of friendship of two ordinary men who have developed an extraordinary friendship. They were men like all men. They were flawed.

They had their weaknesses and they had their strengths. There were human beings never claimed any special divine appointment and yet their friendship was an example for every one of us to learn from today. Turn with me please to First Samuel 23 beginning at verse 15. To our knowledge, this passage, this time is the last time that David and Jonathan were together. Jonathan's death separated these two godly friends forever. In many ways, when you think about it, David and Jonathan, they really are the most unlikely people to be friends with each other. We always look for people who at least share something in common with us. We have this in common or that in common. I'm telling you, psychologists will absolutely have a field day with this friendship.

There's nothing in common. Jonathan was the heir apparent to the throne of Israel. Jonathan was the eldest son to King Saul.

Being the eldest back then was everything. King Saul spent quite a bit of his years hunting David down whom he saw as a threat to his son's future. Jonathan. David on the other hand was chosen by God to succeed Saul in the throne of Israel, but very few people knew that. David was a young man who emerged from obscurity. David was the youngest. Jonathan was the oldest. And while Jonathan was pampered, David worked for below minimum wages since his boyhood. While Jonathan was brought up in the palace, David was cleaning off the sheep. While Jonathan was well known, David was hidden from view. While Jonathan was surrounded by servants, David was serving his father and his brothers. While Jonathan was a prince, David was a shepherd boy.

They had nothing in common. Most unlikely friendship and yet God knitted their hearts together in a magnificent friendship that has become a model for all godly friendships throughout the ages. What are the characteristics of godly friendships?

I have five in number. First of all, a friend is anxious to meet the friend's needs, not the other way around. Secondly, that friend always encourages the friend in the Lord. Thirdly, that friend is aware of their commitment and their common goals. Fourthly, they affirm God's purpose in the friend's life. Fifthly, they articulate their loyalties and commitment to each other.

Let me go through those five a little more slowly so you can take note. Verses 15 to 18. First of all, a friend is anxious to meet the friend's need. The average person looks for a friend and always say, I want to see, I want to make a friend who can really meet my needs. That's how the worldly question always say, who's going to meet my needs?

And then make a friend. Godly friendship turns this worldly question on its head and says, whose need can I meet? Look at verse 16 of First Samuel 23. Jonathan went to meet David's needs. And when Jonathan did this by going to David, listen to me, by going to David, he had everything to lose. He had nothing to gain. There was nothing in it for Jonathan. There was no benefits for Jonathan. Jonathan was giving up everything and getting nothing. After all, David was a fugitive from Jonathan's father, King Saul. Jonathan was encouraging the very man who's going to take his job, the very man who's going to take his future. Jonathan was risking everything, namely his father's wrath and his father was known to be a bit nutty. He could have killed his son.

Why? Because Jonathan was a giver. And that's the first quality of godly friendship. Jonathan sought to fulfill David's needs.

Listen to me, the name Jonathan means the Lord has given and he lived up to his name. I want to tell you categorically, without that god-like character of being a giver, there can be no godly friendship. In the homes, at work, in church, and anywhere else in the world. Now, secular wisdom always says, give for this reason or give of yourself for that reason. Even give because it makes you feel good. But godly quality says, give. Period.

Period. You know, one of the things I love to look at this Charlie Brown cartoon. I think Charlie Brown cartoons are very expressive of how the world thinks.

One of those things explain really how this modern thing of being self-centered works. Linus was on his way to school with a bunch of fresh spring flowers. Now Charlie Brown immediately, as he meets him on the way, he figures out what's going on. He sees that Linus is taking some flowers to his teacher. Now those are your teachers and appreciate that, but Charlie Brown said to him, he said, you know Linus, you will never get away with this as far as Mrs. Othmer is concerned. You cannot get away with trying to bribe her. And then Linus comes in and looks face to face to Charlie Brown and confronts him and he says, bribery? Bribery? This is not bribery.

I prefer to call it priming the pump. God-like character anxious to meet needs. Secondly, God-like character always encourages in the Lord. There's a beautiful picture here right in verse 16. I want you to look at it.

It's a magnificent picture. Listen to what he said. Saul's son, they want you to know who Jonathan was, and Saul's son Jonathan went to meet David at Horesh and helped him find strength in God. Another translation said, encourage him in God. The living Bible said, encourage him in his faith in God. Whatever it is, Jonathan knew the source of his encouragement.

He understood that the only encouragement any of us can give anybody is the word of God. It is not just patting people on the back and said, you know, tough it buddy. Grit your teeth a little harder. Pull yourself by your bootstraps a little. Hey, chin up. I heard that so many times.

Chin up until my chin is broken. He encouraged him in the Lord. David may have been a man after God's own heart and we know that. David authored some of the most magnificent psalms and hymns. David had victory over Goliath.

David was a man who walked by faith and his faith shamed all the army of Israel. But at this point of his life, he was in danger of bitterness and discouragement. And you know, a good friend knows that. A good friend knows when his friend is in danger of bitterness and discouragement. The God-like quality is sensitive to that situation. Ungodly quality is a person always being sensitive to himself or herself.

They stretch their feelings all the way up there in order somebody touches them and says, oh, feel sorry for me. But a godly friend is sensitive to others. Ungodliness is sensitive to itself, but godliness is sensitive toward others. Jonathan did not try to minimize David's problem. Jonathan did not try to trivialize David's problem. Jonathan did not try to make light of David's problem. Jonathan did not try to present himself as the answer to David's problem.

No. He merely reminded him of the promises of God. He merely reminded him and enabled him to be God-centered. He merely was encouraging him to focus his attention on God and the promises of God for David. Probably, if I have one desire in my heart is to be an encourager.

I don't do it very well at all, nor do I do it as often as I would like to. It's a desire of my heart and it's a challenge of my Christian life. But I want you to ask yourself this question. When a friend leaves my presence, ask yourself, does he or she learn more? Does he or she get encouraged in God? Is my friend's faith strengthened when he leaves me or she leaves me? Am I being able to enable my friend to cling to the promises of God? Does my friend feel strengthened in God? God-like friendship, anxious to meet needs. God-like friendship always encourages in the Lord. Thirdly, God-like friendship is aware of the common goal. The prophet Amos asks a question. Can two people walk together unless they agree? And of course, he's anticipating the answer.

The answer is no way. Two people are not going to walk together unless they are in agreement. I've used that one time as a marriage wedding text and the bride and the groom didn't like it at all because they said we didn't have anything in common. I hope they're still married. It was many years ago in Australia. I expounded in that text.

Man, I always thought I was doing a great job until after the wedding and said we didn't like that. God-like friendship is always built upon a common goal. And for David and Jonathan, their common goal was the kingdom of God, the people of God, the glory of God, the majesty of God, the splendor of God, the manifestation of God in the midst of his people. Both always sought to bring glory to the name of God. That was their common goal. Their backgrounds might be different. They may have had disagreements and everything else in the world, but that was their focus. You know, there are friends who kind of share a common passion for sports. It's alright as long as you don't get fanatical about it. There are some people who share a common friendship because of their job or because of their studies or because of whatever it is, maybe because of their complaints, common complaints.

You know, they like to criticize the same person. So you get together and become friends. As a matter of fact, there are people who form friendship over their common hatred towards somebody or something. But that is not God-like quality of friendship.

Listen to what C.S. Lewis said, lovers are always talking to one another about their love. Friends hardly ever talk about their friendship. Lovers are normally face to face absorbed in each other. Friends side by side are absorbed in some common interest.

Ask yourself the following questions. When I am with my friend, that special friend, what dominates our conversation? What emanates from our discussion? What fuels our enthusiasm? What strengthen our resolve? Ask that question.

Ask that question. What common goal do I have? I've got to confess to you, most times I'm able to wing it, talking about anything. I mean, you know, a lot of subjects I know a little bit about everything.

I'm kind of, except about handy things, you know, mechanical, technical things, forget it. But I want to confess to you, the friends who energize me the most are those who share my love for the Lord, those who share my love for his kingdom, those who share my love for the gospel, those who share my love for the word of God, those who share my love for evangelism and reaching the lost. God-like friendship anxious to meet needs. God-like friendship always encourages in the Lord. God-like friendship is aware of the common goal. And fourthly, God-like friendship affirms God's purpose in a friend's life. Now watch how Jonathan does it.

Watch his affirmation. He affirms the purpose of God in the life of David. Look at verse 17. Fear not for the hand of Saul my father will not find you. You shall be king over Israel and I'll be next to you.

Wow. You know what? I have never met two golfing buddies, no matter how close they may be, where one says to the other, he says, you know, I hope you're going to come first.

I hope you drive me today because I just love to be after you. I've never met one. Have you? Well, if you admit that you are one, then I have to counsel you for another sin. It's called lying.

Where do I meet some two friends who are competing for the same promotion? And one says to the other, he says, you know, I sure hope that you're going to get it because I just love to serve you. That's what Jonathan did.

That's exactly what he did. He said, I know, humanly speaking, I'm supposed to be on the throne. Humanly speaking, I'm supposed to succeed my daddy, but I want to know, I know God's purpose in your life. And I want to affirm God's purpose in your life. Friends affirm God's purpose in a friend's life. God like quality is able to claim the promises of God for the friend.

You know, it is easy for me to claim the promises of God, mark them down, write them out, record them, be saturated in my mind, recite them, claim the promises of God for me. But I want to tell you it takes God like quality to be able to claim those promises of God for somebody else. God like friendship is not only anxious to meet needs. God like friendship is not only always encourages in the Lord. God like friendship is not only aware of the common goal.

God like friendship not only affirms God's purpose in the friend's life, but finally God like friendship articulates loyalty and commitment to the friend. Look at verse 18 of First Samuel 23, verse 18. The two of them made a covenant before the Lord. We don't have the details of it, but you can guess.

You can literally feel it. David and Jonathan did not just drift in and out of friendship. They did not just leave their friendship up in the air. They did not leave their friendship to their whims and the conveniences and the circumstances of life.

No. They said to one another, I value you. I am committed to you. I am on the line for you.

Count on me. That's what it means. In a time when the bonds and loyalty, whether it be in marriage or in friendships, are becoming rare, we need to learn from Jonathan and David. Do you know that 70% of Americans say that they have many acquaintances, but very, very few can truly say that they have close friends. You know, Glamour magazine surveyed a large number of men. I don't read that magazine, so just put your mind at ease.

I got the survey, the statistics. But Glamour magazine asked a large number of men of what is the hardest part of the marriage vow to keep. 19% of the people who questioned said it's the part about to love in sickness and in health. Another 19% said it's the part about loving for richer or poorer.

60% of the men said to forsake all others. Let me contrast this with a modern day example of loyalty and devotion. Robertson McWilkin is the former president of Columbia Bible College and Seminary. And when his beloved wife, Muriel, was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease, he faced what he called two divine callings. President of two schools and husband of Muriel. He said, I couldn't do both. It took no great calculation for him to resign his position and give himself to the care of his beloved Muriel.

Let me read to you some of the things Dr. McWilkin said. He said, it's a matter of integrity. He said, 40 years earlier, I promised to care for her in sickness and in health. Oh, she's such a delight to me.

I don't have to care for her. I get to. Covenants, loyalty, commitments are becoming very rare in this fast technological age of ours. Yet it is the stuff of which God-like quality is made. It's the stuff from which God-like friendship is developed. Dr. Michael Yousaf, concluding today's Leading the Way. And if you'd like to have a conversation about life or spiritual things, won't you consider chatting with a Leading the Way pastor or counselor?

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