Godly Friendships, Part 4

In times of trouble, where do you run? When bad things happen, where do you find comfort and assurance?

In times of national uncertainty, personal crisis, or devastating news, how can we manage our fears for the future? Whenever we're frazzled, whenever we're frustrated, whenever we're flustered, the only safe place to return to is where we have housed the Word of God. In his newest book, My Refuge, My Strength, Dr. Michael Yusef takes you on a 60-day journey towards a deeper understanding of the peace God offers us through Christ. One hundred ninety-two pages full of encouraging devotions that explore powerful biblical examples and life-changing truths about our faithful God. For a limited time, for your gift of any amount, Leading the Way will send you your very own hardcover copy of My Refuge, My Strength.

Speak with a ministry representative about this timely and encouraging book at 866-626-4356 or visit ltw.org. Thank you for joining listeners around the world for Leading the Way. What it means to be a friend has really changed.

I mean, think about it. A friend used to be someone you hung out with and celebrated the milestones of life and the difficulties as well. But these days, friends have kind of been reduced to a little click, a little connection on social media. Well, today, Dr. Yusef gives us tools for building godly friendships. It's a study that will change the way you look at life and friends.

So let's listen together to today's Leading the Way. For any building, the foundation is the least remembered because it is not seen. And yet, the foundation is the most important thing in the building, the most important part of the building. You can have the most expensive interior decoration. You can have the most elegant exterior facade.

You can have the best of moldings and the greatest of design. If the foundation is not right, all of that stuff means very little because it won't stand. And in building of godly friendships, the same principle applies. The foundation is the most important thing, the most important part of building godly friendships. Without the right foundation, all of our friendships are shallow and superficial and mean nothing. Godly friendships, you see, do not just happen by chance. Godly friendships have to be built very carefully and very gingerly and prayfully. And Jonathan and David's friendship, which we have been looking at, was an enduring friendship. It was a lasting friendship.

Why? Because it was founded upon biblical principles. Now we saw in the previous message how Jonathan was a man who was God-centered. We saw how Jonathan, despite of his terrible past, despite of his bismill present circumstances, despite of his bleak future, he was a man after God's own heart. He trusted God.

We saw that he stood alone for God when everybody else was running away. David, too, had come to trust the living God and develop this God-like characteristics. And David was able to develop these God-like characteristics by going through the fiery furnace of suffering and adversity. Let me tell you a little bit about David, very quickly. David was ignored by his father and he was hated by his brothers. David was the runt of the litter.

He lived all his life with rejection. David's father was so ashamed of him that he forgot to count him among his sons when the prophet Samuel came to ask about him. When David came to bring food to his brothers, instead of gratitude, they verbally abused him.

As far as the brothers were concerned, David was good for nothing except sort of chasing after a few scraggly sheep in the wilderness. Talk about rejection. You talk about abuse.

You talk about suffering. David knew it all. He was the unknown son of an unknown family. That's who David was. So when you read about King David, the great King David, just remember those facts. When you read about Jonathan, remember what I told you in the last message. But like Jonathan, David would not permit rejection and suffering to turn him either to bitterness on the one hand or self-pity on the other.

You see how they had this in common. So much so that David could sing in Psalm 27 verse 10, for my father and my mother have forsook me, but the Lord takes me in. In the wilderness of loneliness and in the wilderness of rejection in his life, David learned the sufficiency of his God. That in the loneliness of the wilderness and in the rejection where he sat there day in and day out, David learned to trust the good shepherd.

In the wilderness of loneliness and rejection, David came to know the loving God and that is why we're all the prophets of Israel could say, God is our shepherd David to say the Lord is my shepherd. I know him. I know him in the wilderness of rejection. I know him in from the wilderness of loneliness. I know him in the fiery furnace of my life. And it was that blind confidence in the God of Israel that delivered the nation from the scourge of the Philistines.

Please hear me right. I don't want you to miss what I'm going to tell you and I don't want you to misunderstand me. There is an absolute direct link between the ability to stand alone for God and with God and the ability to stand with God with friends. David was able to stand alone with God. Jonathan was able to stand alone with God and now God bring them together to stand together for God. The right foundation produces the right building blocks.

The right root of the tree produces the right fruit. So what are these building blocks? The first building block is unconditional acceptance. The second building block is uncommon commitment. The third building block is unquestionable vulnerability. I hope you like these.

I worked hard on them. Unconditional acceptance. Look at it in the passage. Jonathan accepted David instantly and unconditionally. As soon as Jonathan discovered and recognized God's hand upon David, as soon as he saw God's anointing upon David, no questions asked.

As soon as Jonathan saw a common foundation of total trust in the God of Israel, everything else did not matter. The fact that David was a potential rival for Jonathan for the throne did not matter. The fact that David was poor from a poor family, it did not matter. The fact that David was much younger in years, it did not matter.

Look at verse 55 of chapter 17 of 1 Samuel. Saul was concerned about David Pedigree, whose son is he? The guy has such a terrible short memory, he couldn't remember anybody.

But Jonathan was drawn to David's character. He couldn't care less what family name he has. He couldn't care less who his daddy was. He could not care less what heritage he had. He was drawn to his character. He says, this man, after God's own heart, and as far as I'm concerned, that's all I want to know. Their hearts were knit together.

Why? Because of the love and commitment for the Lord God. And that gave them unconditional acceptance of one another. During the Korean War, the phone rang one night in one of the fashionable homes on the northeast side of the United States. And to the overwhelming delight of the lady of the house, she heard her son on the other side of the phone, who had been fighting in Korea. They had not heard from him in months, and they were worried and wondering what had happened to him. And now, not only that they hear his voice, but he told them that now he is home.

He's in San Diego, and he's on his way home. The mother was so excited. The father was excited.

The whole family were excited. And then the boy on the other side of the phone, he said, Mom, he said, I just want to let you know that I'm bringing a buddy home with me. He got hurt so badly in the war.

He has one eye, one arm, and one leg. And I would sure like to have him live with us. The mother on the other side, she said, sorry, son. Sorry. He sounds like a brave man, but we can't find room for him.

We might find room for him for just a little bit. Okay. He said, no, no, mom, you don't understand.

You don't understand. I want him to come and live with us. Well, okay, she relented.

She said, maybe for six months or so. He said, no, mom, you don't understand, mom. He said, you don't understand. We want him to live with us. We want him to stay with us always. He needs us. He only has one arm, one leg, and one eye.

He really is in bad shape. And the mother by then has lost her patience. And she said to her son, she said, son, you are being unrealistic. You're being unreasonable. You're being emotional. You've been in the war too long. You're not thinking straight. This boy will be a drag on you.

He's going to be a drag on all of us. You don't understand, son. And suddenly the phone clicked dead. And the next day, the parents received from the Navy a telegram that nearly crushed them. The night before, after this phone conversation, the son has leaped to his death from the 12th floor of a San Diego hotel. A week later, they received the body of their son.

And to their unspeakable horror, they looked upon their one-eyed, one-armed, and one-legged son. Conditional acceptance is not the mark of godly friendship. One of the first building blocks in godly friendships is unconditional acceptance. The second building block in godly friendships is uncommon commitment.

Jonathan found himself inwardly drawn to David. And the word here is a very important word. Put a circle around it in your Bible. It's the word knit together. It's a magnificent word.

It's a great word. You know, growing up many years ago, I saw my mother and my four sisters. Every evening, they sit there and they knit. They constantly were knitting. And you know, I couldn't understand everything they were doing, but I used to hear them say, you know, you really cannot knit wool with cotton. And I would try to kind of listen a little bit and said why, I wonder why they cannot knit wool with cotton and said something about weakening the fabric, that it will not be a strong fabric.

You only knit together the things that are of the same nature. No wonder the scripture said, do not be unequally yoked. Because both David and Jonathan were courageous for God. Both men were fully trusting in the power of God.

Both men were not affected by the circumstances. Both men had great vision for God. Both men were knitted together in their desire for obedience and surrender to the living God. Both men were far from selfish and self-centered. Both men had zeal for the glory of God, not their own glory. They sought first the kingdom of God, not their own kingdom. And that is why God knitted their hearts together. Jonathan not only felt that he was knitted to David as a true soul brother, but he also came to love him. That's what the word means here.

This uncommon commitment, you see, produces both emotional as well as personal commitment. Those who promote the abomination of homosexuality in the church, and I'm not talking about the poor blighters who are caught in the trap and in the deception of homosexuality. I'm talking about those who constantly lobbying in the church of Jesus Christ to make that sin to be acceptable, that abomination to be acceptable. Some of them see this passage and say, see his homosexuality in the Bible between David and Jonathan. It is so sad that they have to justify their perversion by perverting the word of God and perverting such godly, wholesome, pure, wonderful friendship.

David was called a man after God's own heart, and when he was sent with Bathsheba, the Bible said that he wept for days and for nights and repentance and turning to the Lord. Can you imagine that he would even think of the unthinkable and the unmentionable? When I think of how perverse this generation has become that they cannot fathom any wholesome godly relationship without attaching sexual overtones to everything, it breaks my heart. I know it breaks God's heart.

I want you to hear me right please. False attractions create superficial and shallow friendship, but godly unity creates uncommon commitment. Jonathan and David's friendship was far beyond the superficial and the natural attraction that sometimes make up friendships in our day. It was a spiritual supernatural attraction. Their souls were knitted together. Look at verse 3, 1 Samuel 18. Jonathan made a covenant with David.

Why? Because he loved him as himself. This is selfless love. That is sacrificial love. You see, covenant is a commitment made by two parties to which they bind themselves by an oath.

Unconditional acceptance, uncommon commitment, unquestionable vulnerability. Look at verse 4 of chapter 18 of 1 Samuel. And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that he had on him and he gave it to David with the armor including the sword and his bow and his belt. What is Jonathan doing here?

What is he doing? He is honoring his friend David. You see, to wear the robe of a king or a robe of a prince is a supreme privilege that anyone could have.

And aren't you glad that our friend Jesus gave us the robe of his righteousness without which we cannot be saved? When David was going to fight Goliath, you remember, Saul said to him, David, put my armor on you. He was shaking in his boots for weeks of Goliath. And then when little David was going to fight him, he said, put my armor on. And out of respect David did but he couldn't walk with it. He couldn't walk.

Do you know why? Because David had to defeat the enemy not through Saul's armor but through the hand of God. But this is different.

This is different. Jonathan gives him his robe and his armor as if to say, we are equal David. We are standing side by side.

All barriers between us have gone. What is he doing? Jonathan was making himself vulnerable to his friend David. Jonathan was opening himself up to his friend. Jonathan was risking everything for his friend. There are some people when they get hurt or when they get betrayed, they close themselves up completely.

No more vulnerability. I will never allow myself to be hurt again. I will never allow myself to be betrayed again. You're making a mistake. There are some people after being betrayed once, they refuse to open themselves up to the possibility that yes, they could be betrayed again.

But do you know why they do this? Unlike Jonathan, their identity is in themselves and then their abilities and who they are. So when they get injured, their identity gets injured.

But that's a fallacy. For a believer in Jesus Christ, like Jonathan of the Old Testament, Jonathan identity was in the Lord God. Jonathan's trust was in the Lord God.

Jonathan's faith was in the Lord God. Everything he saw himself to be came from God and therefore it doesn't matter how many people betray you. It doesn't matter how many times you get betrayed. Allow yourself to be vulnerable for that's a price of godly friendship. I know, I know this is a lot easier for women to do than it is for men.

I know. Let me talk to the men just for a moment. Let me quote to you just something very significant.

I read just this week, it's an old article by Patrick Morley and in that article Patrick Morley said, he said, most men could recruit six pallbearers for their funeral but hardly have anyone or any friend that they could call at 2 a.m. He goes on to say, he said, men desire the approval of others but the fear of rejection often keeps them from initiating a deeper relationship. Men, women, boys, girls, young men, young women, vulnerability is the price of godly friendship but it's a very small price to pay.

If who you are is in Jesus Christ, not in your achievement, not in your name, not in your money, not in anything that you represent. I have a friend who went to be with the Lord a long time ago and one day we were talking. He had just poured his friendship and financial support on an evangelist who just went sour and somebody was asking him in my presence and he said, you know, did this shut you up and close you up? He said, oh no. He said, I did this unto the Lord.

The rest is his problem, not mine. I'm going to move on. I'm going to do it again. Friendship that is built on godly foundation is characterized by unconditional acceptance, uncommon commitment and unquestionable vulnerability. Dr. Michael Youssef continuing his series Godly Friendships on Leading the Way. Now, if you missed any part of today's message or other parts in Dr. Youssef's Godly Friendship series, make it a point to catch up by listening online, subscribing to the Leading the Way podcast or downloading and using the app.

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