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April 12, 2022 6:00 am
Welcome to the Kerwin Baptist Church broadcast our desire is for the word of God spread throughout all me know join is now for a portion of one of our services here at Kerwin Baptist Church located in Kernersville, North Carolina James chapter 4, let me just quickly refuse to make sure all the same page as we begin in verse one, from whence come wars and fightings among you conflicts we all have them in relationships and marriage some and friendship summoned interwork relationships interchurch relationships there is conflict. Some have conflict with their children, some with her parents and some with siblings and summoned their extended family, we can look around and see them everywhere and God gives biblical grounds and biblical instructions on how to handle that.
Let me take another swig not did help at all. I and in verse one, he said, from whence come these things where these conflicts start this word wars in verse one is speaking of the conflict we have inside of us. This is a a one enemy. This is a one battle type thing we keep fighting the same person that Satan in our flesh inside of our life, then this word fightings is speaking of numerous enemies. It means literally that it's those around us. So there is a conflict inside of us between the spirit in our flesh. And then there are conflicts that we end up having with those outside which would be all of our interpersonal relationships and we are asked here in this chapter. Where does this come from. We talked last week. First, that literally that all conflict is a source issue. Where's the source where does it come from it comes from us and it comes from our lust, our desires are desperation of the damage that we do. It comes from us. We said secondly, that all conflict is not just a source issue.
It's a spiritual issue. Jesus said he had not because she asked not through James in any means this that you're looking to other things for that contentment and when you don't get that contentment then you seem to produce conflict in those relationships and he said the problem is you didn't come to me for you have not because you asked not then he said if you if you came and asked that you asked to miss so that means, literally, that there's a spiritual issue because we begin to look to other people or other things for the contentment that we should only have in Christ.
And secondly, our motives now become selfish instead of spiritually says you're asking it to literally consume it upon your last, then thirdly, we talked about how that all conflict is a sin issue.
He said he adulterers and adulteresses know you not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God we have conflict in our relationships because we have moved closer to the world farther away from God and I know none of that was fun to hear but it's biblical and so now we come to verse six, and one of my favorite verses and I love it just simplistic and God's word is by the way, it just gets right down to what you need to know verse six, but he giveth more grace. Are you thankful for that.
This morning you might have some conflicts in your life. Some things that need work on things that need fixed.
Maybe your desperate we had them. Some individuals here in the first service this morning that I spent some time texting back and forth, even after the service. During Sunday school time trying to help through things that just it just had to admit individual said really, I gotta be honest of just mad at God and to sit and they needed the message and the needed the service. It's not fun to hear but that you might be desperate in your life and there might be some conflicts in as hard as you tried. It seems that there's just so many so much conflict in relationships, be it marriage be at work. It just seems if you're like me, sometimes it just it it it when it rains it pours in today let's look at the Bible and see what God's word has to say. Assembly required is our series.
It means that literally we need to carefully read the instructions. God, how my supposed to handle this but he giveth more grace let's pray Lord I love you Brady. You bless as we look into your word. Lord I pray that it will help your word always does and I'm Lord as we look to your word. We are reminded that this affects every area of our life.
And Lord, we have conflict in our relationships than we have conflict in our life and it robs us from the piece that you provided.
So Lord I pray that you would help us as we not just strive to better ourselves but to better our relationships and better our marriages and better our church and better our families through your word.
In Jesus name we pray. Amen. If you'll notice in verse one through five, we see all kinds of conflicts he says literally wars and fighting peace as you consume it on your list you want. You don't have, you can obtain. There's constant conflict. He literally said he fight any war you cause damage and literally if you look at verses one through five. There's just a lot of conflict with people and at all what you look at the statement this morning. I have this on the screen because I want you to see it. Isn't it interesting that the conflict in this chapter centers on your relationship with others. That's where the conflict is seen, but the solution centers on our relationship with God. The conflict shows up in others, but the solution starts in our relationship with God. What is he saying in verse six, but he giveth more grace Millicent. There is one.
I hope this hope you'll let this help you number one this morning want you to see this resolution or resolving conflict in your relationship. Resolution requires grace resolution requires grace, not two things from this passage that we see, but he giveth more grace and it says that God resists the proud, here in this verse but gives grace to the humble first thing we do know is this and this is August.
We need grace from God. You need to know today that if you're gonna start trying to resolve conflict in your relationship and some of them are deep-seated and some of its more than just a phone call. Hey, I'm sorry. There are some things there some resentment. There's some damage that's been done in working to resolve that you and I need to know today. We need God's grace. Now what is grace grace is unmerited favor. It means something that we received that we do not deserve all God's people said so we need grace from God.
Secondly, we need to show the grace of God you say to resolve conflict in my life. I need not only grace from God. But I need to show to the person or to the relationship.
I not only need grace from God. But I need to show that grace from God. Now you say were preacher that that's that's different that no listen to me. I want to ask you a couple if grace is unmerited favor.
It means giving something that the other person does not deserve. If you agree with that. When you say the media scenario.
Let's say that somebody is done you wrong in an they come and you said you go to them or whatever and somehow it comes out.
They've done you wrong and that person admits that they've done wrong there remorseful and regretful for what they have done and if they acknowledge that and out of humility say you know what I was wrong.
I should not of done that and I'm sorry.
Now when you if you forgive or when you show forgiveness to that individual.
Are you listening to me that forgiveness you gave them is not necessarily grace.
So why is that because they humbled themselves. They asked for forgiveness. They admitted that they were wrong. That means according to the Bible. The Bible says that when a person comes in asking for forgiveness. You should forgive them yell agree with that grace is me giving something that a person doesn't deserve.
So if I say well this person they finally they they finally admit that done wrong and then come in asking for forgiveness.
So I show them grace and for gave no you didn't. You just show them forgiveness. Look at me grace is when you forgive them even when they don't deserve it. Grace resolves conflict in a relationship because if you're ever going to resolve some relationships. You are just going to have to choose to forgive. You have to choose to get grace even though they might not deserve it, even though they might not have earned it, but you deserve grace from God and he still gave to grace. Resolving conflict takes us being willing to give something that the other person might not deserve to listen to me this morning.
How long would our relationship with God. Last if he did not show us grace are y'all awake this morning. You can answer back. How long would our relationship last if God did not show grace to us. Tell me ask you this in our relationship with God.
That's us or me and God. How many perfect people is there in that relationship.
I wish one of them exists that in that relationship. Not one time has God ever done anything wrong and yet who is it in my relationship that shows grace, God.
So in a relationship that involves a perfect person which none of your relationships with individuals. None of that was relationships have a perfect person in so even in a relationship with a perfect person that perfect person has to show great.
So in my relationship would not last very long with God if he did show me grace. How long do you and I think that relationships are to be peaceful in our life if we don't show the preacher but they don't deserve they don't listen. I didn't write it, and I'm not saying it's easy but I'm saying it's biblical.
He giveth more grace, more conflict means more grace nice. They were generally agreed that well this you don't have to resolve conflict in your life, you can just continue to fight in war you and I can continue to have the kind of marriage. There's never peace or rarely, and that peace is always short-lived. We can continue to fight that battle.
You can have it or wherever you work this conflict with a person or a boss or somebody or whatever business relationship is always a conflict that ends up between you and them and for some reason we always look out and think is everybody else's fault and where did this whole thing started verse one, two and three. What is the source of conflict because it is not much fun, but this is step-by-step what we need to do.
You and I have to show grace is a preacher that's awfully hard for me if you knew what all had transpired. If you and I only knew what had to transpire for Jesus to show us grace will never know what he went through and what he suffered, and what he bore for us to get grace that we do not deserve so that you and I can have peace dear friend I'm here to tell you is as unfair as it might sound, and as difficult as it might sound if you want to resolve conflict. You are going to have to show grace.
You not only need God's grace because he gives more you're going to have to give more grace to resolution doesn't just require grace resolution requires humility. Isn't this interesting that after all these conflicts that we have with other people in our life. You say preacher you not have probably maybe with my husband or my wife or or or my family or or or whatever the case is while you deal with that preacher wire we sit here talking about me and God, because that's where the conflict is. You see, he says work on these findings, and wars among you, the solution begins with viewing God you got to get that right. You and I are often trying to fix relationships without fixing the most important one in our fixes are temporary and we don't know why number two because resolution requires humility. Look at verse 690 write it again but I'm gonna read but he giveth more grace.
Wherefore he saith, God resisted the proud but he gives grace to the humble.
Verse 10 humble yourselves in the side of the Lord and he shall lift you up resolution requires humility say preacher.
This is and this is a very easy know it's not but I do want to give you a couple things out from these two verses that we just read. Let's look closer and find out what you say number one I want you to see this and is on the screen. If you needed humility comes from seeing who we really are, as compared to Christ.
Look at verse 10 humble your selves where and the side of the Lord, you and I gimme you and I do not humble ourselves by looking at the individual and comparing ourselves to them. You know why because were to look through very biased eyes and working to see their faults and all were, you know C is our accomplishments were you to see where they've done wrong at all that we've done right but you and I do not need to humble ourselves to an individual listen to me. Humility comes when we compare ourselves to Christ, we humble ourselves in the side of the Lord, not individuals. Number two. Humility must be centered on Christ, not the person. Now as old as a diverse elite Mildred biking with my wife Julie. Now if I look at Julie and I say I love joy. This is my wife and you know what I'm going to humble myself to her and I'm just going to be humble to her know that sounds good and it might work for a while but that humility is going to run out. Look at me when she does something that makes me think she doesn't deserve it.
As long as the object of my humility is a person, then that humility is going to change when that person changed I might wake up tomorrow and think clearly, my wife made breakfast for me and she did this or that it I tell you what you what a wonderful wife. She really works hard and she really goes to ask you know and I just I really want to do more for her and I just really want to love her and you know what the next morning, she might not be breakfast for me. She might wake up on the wrong side of the bed and be cranky or grumpy or whatever the case might be, and also not look around me all of our look at all I've done. She won't even cook the fruit of which he does look at me.
What did he say in verse 10 home with your selves in the side of the Lord.
It means this that my humility is centered on him for my relationships for my conflict with others to be resolved. My humility must be centered on Christ because that person might end up acting in a way where I think they don't deserve it but look at me. Christ always deserves our humility. So if I humble myself under Christ.
It's going to manifest itself.
I mean me being humble to you, but I'm not humble to you because of who you are. I'm humble to you because of who Christ is so much conflict. Relationships come because well I would do this, but they did this well. I would be this way.
But you know what they look back and they haven't ever done dear friend were not humble in their site were humble in God's sight. Humility must be centered on Christ. Notice the third thing in this passage.
Humility spares us of opposition from God. What a verse six say God resisted the proud when you and I show humility under Christ to others look at me now God is not against the cease for us. But this verse teaches that when you and I refuse to humble ourselves. We now are full of pride and God opposes that that word resisted means opposes. So now, guess what model would you have conflict but God's against what you're doing and then we will look around and we wonder what why are things working out. No wonder you're not resolving your conflict at all with individuals I know you got against you know y'all here this morning, so it means this value humility when I humble myself under God, which then allows me to show humility to others. God is now for what I'm doing, not against, can I tell you something this morning.
You don't want God against you see oftentimes were reading books trying to do these principles, but we've never humble ourselves under God and we wonder why all these little things were trying to do it still doesn't work because God supposing you but will we humble ourselves to God. Now God is for us. Now God can work for our benefit. Notice last this morning. Humility allows God to take over.
Look at verse 10. I love this humble yourselves in the side of the Lord know what is it say he shall what look at me when you and I humble ourselves under Christ, which then manifests itself by us, humbling ourselves to our mate to our husband to our wife to whoever it might be to someone at church you ever when we humble ourselves under Christ look at me. God said that now he will take over now.
He will lift you up when you and I refuse to humble ourselves, what are we trying to do. We are trying to lift ourselves up.
That's pride. What is the Bible say pride buffet up.
Love doesn't do that. But pride puffs up, were trying to get higher than the other. We want to win that argument. We want to prove our point. But when we hold ourselves to Christ, which then makes us humble ourselves to others. Now God can take over God will lift us up will take care of the whole situation was and I'm not saying it's easy, but if there's a little bit of a lightbulb going off. Now you see what this works. Each would you say amen we need this.
Don't you see conflict kills churches conflict kills marriages look at me get this and what were trying to do were trying to go to the world to find out how we can prevent conflict, and I am telling you, it cannot be prevent because were sinful people. God never says that it can be avoided. He says this is how you deal with it when it happens and we need this in our marriages and our churches and in our families, God requires humility number three resolution requires submission. Now I know how this is going to like wait a minute. I have conflict in my life because of what that person did would you leave me alone and start getting on them.
Is there a point somewhere where it's that person's fall different. I'm here to say that Lord knows of counsel. So many people were an individual has just done atrocious things to them were not okaying that were not saying that there is no price for that. But I'm telling you this, if there's ever going to be a resolution.
You cannot focus on how they're wrong and you're right. You and I must focus on how wrong we are under the side of Christ, and we need his grace like okay all right give me point number three what you mean submission look at the verse verse seven submitting your selves. Therefore to God. I just try to drink the drink without the little heaven hard times morning, submit yourselves therefore to God that you say are a preacher you just said. Humble yourselves in the side of the Lord. Now this is submit yourselves therefore to the Lord is the same thing.
Why are we talking own and listen to me get this. Humility is the attitude but submission is the action. When I humble myself under God. It will then manifests itself in my life by me submitting to him you and I can talk all day how we humble ourselves in the side of God. But if it has not produced submission in your life to God. That's not humility that's just talk. So if I humble myself under Christ that brings submission to him. Humility is my attitude. Submission is my action is a preacher. How does this listen to me this is huge as a person that at time sits down and tries to help with conflict with people.
This is a big one because normally when there's conflict either one or both are convinced they are right are convinced that the other person is wrong and have no interest in even thinking about looking at themselves in different here's the problem you think will this person did me wrong, why in the world. Should I submit to them. The Bible never says you have to the Bible says for you and I to submit ourselves to the Lord and that's a big difference. Now I kind of put together a little bit of the chart just a shotgun to show you the difference. There are two things there's a resolution which means resolving a conflict and there's dissolution dissolution means to cause further damage and often times couples think that they're trying to practice resolution when how they're doing.
It is really just practicing dissolution them trying to bring order to solve the conflict. They're just making it worse and I will put a couple of these things down just read understand number one want you to see this resolution focuses on and clarifies conflicting issues the pertinent issues. This is what really the deal is. But listen. Dissolution brings up old issue means when you begin to have a conflict.
All of a sudden we bring out everything that happened 10 years ago that has nothing to do with what's going on now yeah does because is exactly what they did 10 years ago.
But, dear friend. That's making it worse. That means you're not submitting to God, if I submit to the Lord.
What is a mean walk, I would forget to bring it up again, notice the secondly resolution deals with negative and positive feelings but dissolution only deals with the negative dissolution means that I'm just, you know what yet but but but but sweetheart let's this put in a marriage aspect. I know you're mad at me but I have tried to do such and such open one here that it's what they've done wrong. But if you want to resolve conflict.
You got a look at the good and bad you got a job not just accuse a person what they did wrong but you got appreciate them for what they done right.
Like you doing this may because nothing keeps happening. Listen to this resolution gives complete and honest information, but dissolution only give selective information. What is the big sometimes you gotta counsel three times we finally get the truth about some things. Well, I've done a little bit of this and second session well yeah I have done little bit more than one third or fourth finally realize how things work now comes the honesty with this resolution focuses on the problems, but dissolution focuses on the person resolving affair with the problem is not attack a person, but until we submit to the Lord is not resolution except the blame, but dissolution gives the blame resolution focuses on the common ground that dissolution focuses on the difference. I mean, a person that wants to resolve going to find somewhere where we can meet in the middle on this thing. But dissolution does this is my way and this is what I'm thinking that resolution facilitates chain to decrease the conflict but dissolution refuses to change and increases conflict.
You going to any relationship and just the safe. They need to change. I don't nothing is ever going to be resolved.
Resolution then resolution both win. But in dissolution neither when resolution it increases intimacy, but dissolution decrease symptoms. Thank you for listening to you receive the blessing from our broadcast. The current Baptist Church is located at 4520 Old Hollow Rd. in Kernersville, NC may also contact us by phone at 336-993-5194 Kerwin Baptist Church.com enjoy our services live all Armenian on our website and church. Thank you for listening. Kerwin broadcast God bless you