Welcome to the Kerwin Baptist Church broadcast today. Our desire is for the Word of God to be spread throughout the world so that all may know Christ.
Join us now for a portion of one of our services here at Kerwin Baptist Church located in Kernersville, North Carolina. We talked about the fact, and it's on your sheet, that all conflict is a source issue. It all comes from the same source. We talked about the fact that one of the sources is our desires. It's from our own lust and our own desire to have. And when we don't control that and keep that in check, it can cause conflict. Second thing is disappointments.
He says, Ye lust and have not. And oftentimes our desires for things that literally we shouldn't have creates a scenario where we want things that we can't have. We begin to desire things we shouldn't have, and yet we say we're living for the Lord. Well, that means that now we're going to want things that we can't have, and that creates conflict. And then third is the source of our desperation is that we get so desperate and so kind of frustrated that things haven't happened the way we wanted to, or we haven't gotten what we wanted, or the person or the individual did not meet our expectation. And we kind of get desperate. Now we don't care what damage we do. We just want to make our point. And now we create problems, which brings us last to our damage, which he says ye fight and war and war and fighting always leaves damage.
It always leaves residue of some kind. So all conflict is a source issue. Second, we talked about the fact that all conflict is a spiritual issue. He said, literally you have not because you asked not, and it becomes a spiritual issue because we get to the point that we tend to depend on people for contentment instead of the Lord. We depend on people to meet our needs instead of the Lord. And spiritually speaking, that's the wrong way to look at people and at life.
And then secondly, he says, when you do ask, you ask a miss. It means that not only have we gotten to the point that we depend on people instead of the Lord, but now our most. Our motives have become selfish instead of spiritual. And he said, so conflict is not just a source issue, it's a spiritual issue. And then thirdly, all conflict is a sin issue. And he literally obviously makes this clear that friendship with the world is enmity with God. And oftentimes, as we grow closer to the world and start wanting, desiring the things of the world, that that always takes us further away from God.
And so you have to understand the source, how this comes about. And in so doing, maybe we can help eliminate some of it. You can't eliminate all conflict. And let me say this this morning, I cannot control what another person does, but I can control what I do. I cannot control what another person says.
And while they might say some things that would create some conflict, I can control how I react to it. And so you and I need to understand these things. We'll talk more about that in just a second. And then that brought us to requirements for resolution. So the Lord literally gives us this is the reason this happens. This is the source of this.
This is why this takes place. And now these are the things that are needed for you to take steps to resolve this conflict in your life. Verse 6, he says, but he giveth more grace. And we talked about the fact, number one, that resolution requires grace. We need God's grace. We don't deserve it.
We haven't earned it. But if we're going to resolve some of these things and we're going to get some of these relationships right and fix this conflict that shows up so often in our life, we need God's grace. And then we need to learn to show God's grace. It all comes down to God's grace.
It means this, I need it from God, but I need to give that grace to others. And that's hard to do. Second, resolution requires humility. And as I mentioned earlier this morning, this is where most Christians never make it past. And they wonder why they can't get conflict resolved in their life. But this is just step number two, and they can't get past this to humble themselves. Resolution requires humility. And notice that humility comes from seeing who we really are in comparison to Christ. Humble yourselves, verse 10 says, in the sight of the Lord, not the sight of your neighbor, not in the sight of the person that's agitated you or that has hurt you. Secondly, humility must be centered on Christ, not the person. I'm not humble because, or I don't humble myself because I think that the person deserves it. I humble myself because God deserves it. My humility is centered on him, not the person. Because the person's gonna do some things oftentimes that I think, they don't deserve my humility. They don't deserve me to humble myself to them, but God does.
And so in so doing, that's how conflict is resolved. Thirdly, humility spares us of opposition from God. God resisteth the proud. So if I don't show humility, that means now that God is against me. And God is fighting against me. And you do not show humility. You do not want to fight against God. I'll give you a little hint.
Guess who wins? Every time. Notice fourthly, humility allows God to take over. It says humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord and he will lift you up.
When I humble myself, even though I think the person doesn't deserve it, but when I've done what's right between me and God and I humble myself, now God can take over. You don't have to lift yourself up. You don't have to raise yourself up. God will lift you up. It's a wonderful principle.
Number three, we talked about that resolution requires submission. Submit yourselves therefore to God. And it means that literally I have to submit to what God wants. Remember, humility is the attitude, but submission is the action. If I humble myself to the Lord, that will show up in my life by the fact that I submit to his will.
It means if I feel the way I should in my heart towards the Lord, and that's with humility, then that will manifest itself by me submitting to him. And notice resolution requires resistance. And we talked about the fact that conflict ultimately is the work of Satan. It always is. God is not the author of conflict. Satan is. And I have to resist Satan to remove conflict. I have to resist Satan to resolve conflict. And I have to resist Satan to repel conflict.
It's all part of it. And that brings us to today. You say, well, preacher, I was here.
Some of you might not have been here. We want everybody in the same page because over three weeks, it's hard to get all the notes and to kind of process everything. So I want you to have it.
Things will be on the screen today and on your paper. But I want you to be able to take it home because you've gotten the knowledge and we're trying to give you the truth these three weeks. But now the hard part takes place is when you leave church and you have to put it into action. And I can't wait to share with you what God's laid on our hearts for today. Let's pray. Lord, I pray as we continue as we bring this to a close that, God, we will just simply understand it's your word and we are to obey it. In Jesus' name we pray.
Amen. Verse eight. Our next ingredient that is required for resolution is intimacy. Resolution requires intimacy.
But look at verse eight. Draw nigh to God and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners, and purify your hearts, ye double minded. So notice three things here and remember, resolution requires intimacy. See, preacher, what does that mean? Resolution requires intimacy with Christ. Now listen, we do not get closer to each other by trying to get closer to each other. We get closer to each other by getting closer to Christ. You and I need to spend less time trying to get closer to people and we need to spend more time getting closer to the Lord.
You'll find that the more time you spend getting closer to the Lord, you will automatically begin to be closer to people. But that is not normally conflict because I just can't get along. The conflict is between us and the Lord. And notice as he said, fightings and wars in verse one, everything all the way down through this chapter has been about our relationship with the Lord.
And it means that, and listen, I want you to get this point today and please don't ever misunderstand something I say so let me make this clear. Not all conflict in your life was created by you. Now, much of the conflict in our lives was not necessarily created by us or started by us. There's going to be times in your life where another individual did or said or whatever and initiated the conflict, but look at me. I am not saying that conflict was created by you. I am saying this that the Bible teaches that the only reason conflict stays in your life is you.
Now I cannot, remember what I said, I cannot control what this person did. But when I allow that to become conflict, I'm the one wrong. That means that I need to do my part biblically to resolve that conflict, and then I need to let it go.
Now look at me today. Some of you might say well I have conflict with an individual preacher I'm trying and I have made efforts but they just will not have a resolution to this then dear friend look at me. You didn't create it, but you are determined and should be that it's not going to stay in your life. You need to follow biblical principles and try to resolve that conflict and do everything you can do, but once you've done everything that God has told you to do, let it go. You say but they're still angry, you can't help that.
Remember you cannot change a person, but you can change you. So you might not have created it, but it continues because of us. Everybody on the same page? Alright notice if you would, under this resolution requires intimacy. First we must prioritize fellowship with God.
Draw nigh to God, he will draw nigh to you. Do you know that oftentimes when you and I go through conflict with an individual or individuals, we will begin to feel alone or isolated. If I sometimes might have conflict with my wife or you might have conflict with your husband or whatever the case might be, even though it's one individual there's such a major role in your life that you will begin to think nobody cares for me. I've often seen in marriages that here's a husband and wife and maybe a wife didn't initiate or create the conflict, but because there's so much conflict and there's so much they begin to feel that if this person doesn't love me, nobody probably loves me. And dear friend, oftentimes during conflict, listen to me, is when we begin to think that nobody cares. And during conflict is when we begin to pull away from people.
And often during conflict is when we begin to pull away from church. Because we think of this conflict, everybody must be angry with me. Everybody must just not love me. Everybody doesn't like me. And dear friend, Satan has fooled you.
That's not what you need at that time. I'm here to tell you what the Lord says is draw nigh to me. You and I put too much weight in people. God says the way to resolve this conflict and during this conflict is for you to draw nigh to me. Look at me, if resolution depends on me drawing nigh to you, now get this, what if you don't let me draw nigh to you? If my wife and I are having conflict and I'm just not going to be happy and I just for content till we get this conflict settled and I do everything I can do to try to resolve this conflict, but my wife will not let me. Now I have a problem.
That means I have, there's nothing I can do. That's why God says you need to draw nigh to me. You and I need to quit worrying so much about drawing nigh to the individual. We need to draw nigh to God. Our priority must be fellowship with God, not fellowship with people. You see, because, get me, I want you to get this, oftentimes my conflict with individuals will create conflict in my life with God.
This person did me wrong. A lot of times people get mad at God for it. Well this person turned their back, my husband, my wife just forsook the marriage and left me and I'm mad at God about this. God didn't do anything about that. God didn't create that.
God had nothing to do with that. So what happens now, my conflict with an individual has now created conflict between me and God. And that's why God says right now you need to draw nigh to me and I will draw nigh to you. If you've ever needed God, you need him now. So we must prioritize fellowship with God.
He said draw nigh to me, I'll draw nigh to you. Notice secondly, we must practice forgiveness from God. He said cleanse your hands ye sinners.
Now we have a little bit of an issue here. We cannot cleanse ourselves. If we could cleanse ourselves then we wouldn't be sinners. So he's telling here, and it makes no sense at first, he's telling sinners to clean themselves. Well if a sinner could clean themselves then they wouldn't be a sinner. He's telling somebody that's dirty to make themselves clean and we can't do that. So preacher what's the problem here? What God is saying is this, cleanse your hands ye sinners, which means this, sinners cannot clean themselves. The only way for a sinner to come clean is forgiveness from God. And you and I need to accept that forgiveness. What this means is this, at this time of conflict, God says first you draw nigh to me, you get close to me. Second, you just make sure that your heart is right.
You cleanse your hands. You accept God's forgiveness. Now look at me, I want you to get this, often times you'll have conflict with people and it seems very unfair. And yet normally if we really look into our life, there was some things that we did wrong too. Anybody here at 11.15?
Anybody still here this morning? Often times there was wrong doing on our part too. And God says hey you draw nigh to me first. And then you cleanse your hands. You make sure that you're right.
You make sure you get yourself right. Notice thirdly, he says purify your hearts ye double minded. Now listen to this, it means we must prioritize fellowship with God. We must practice forgiveness from God.
But notice thirdly, we must put our focus on God. In other words this, there's conflict in my life because I'm double minded. What does the Bible say double minded is? Double minded is I want both sides of the fence.
I got part of my heart with the Lord and part of my heart in the world. And I kind of want both. And I want this and I want that. And literally that causes internal conflict. And when you have internal conflict, you're always going to have external conflict. And so if we're ever going to get resolution on the outside, we have to get resolution on the inside. And if we're going to get resolution on the inside, we've got to draw nigh to God. We have to accept his forgiveness and make sure that we have sin taken care of in our life. And then we need to make sure that we're not double minded, that we're not trying to ride both sides of the fence, but that our focus is on God. Until then, there will be no real resolution to any conflict.
Why? Because you might get something right with a person, but if you're double minded in your heart, then you'll never be right on the inside. And if we're not right on the inside, then we're not right.
Everybody understand it so far? I know this is a lot of teaching, but you've got to get this. Because churches need this, marriages need this, every area of your life needs this. So resolution requires intimacy. Notice next. Resolution requires restraint.
This is a big one. Look at verse 11. Speak not evil, one of another, brethren. He that speaketh evil of his brother, and judgeth his brother, speaketh evil of the law, and judgeth the law.
Now there's a problem with this. But if thou judgeth the law, thou art not a doer of the law, but a judge. Here's what God's saying. Don't speak about, don't criticize and speak evil of other people. And don't judge your brother. Because if you judge your brother, then you have put yourself up in a position that now you are judging the law. The problem with that, it means if you judge the law, that means you're a judge. It means you're not the object of the law. And if that's the case, what you're saying is that you are above the individual. So when you speak evil of your brother, or you judge your brother, what you're saying is, I feel I have the right to be above you, and I have the right to look at your faults without ever having to look at mine. You ever notice in a court of a law, the judge, before he passes sentence, the judge doesn't get up and say, hey now listen, before I pass sentence about this, let me just say, there's some things in my life that's not right either.
Let me share those with you. It's not about the judge. It's about the accused.
Now look at me. Here's what he's saying. If you want resolution, you're going to have to show restraint. Restraint from what preacher? Number one, to learn to restrain your mouth. Restraining our mouth. Second, restraining our judgment. Speak not evil of another. That means this, and that's what we normally do. I mean, when we have conflict with an individual, now we have conflict in our life, and we don't like that, and we are analyzing it, and we want to make sure that we're right, and we see our side of things, and what do we do?
We begin to go to our friends, and we go to people, and we go to other church members, and again, like I said earlier, I don't mean this bad, don't think because I say something that I'm saying something's wrong. Listen to me. Driving is dangerous. It doesn't mean I'm against it.
There are some problems that can come up when you drive a car, but it doesn't mean I don't think you should drive a car. I'm saying when it comes to the social world, and internet, and all these things, what happens is we are so connected to people that as soon as we have conflict, we try to get everybody on our side. And God said don't speak evil of another.
Why? Because if you ever get that conflict resolved with that person, now you've drawn a whole bunch of people into it now that don't have resolution with that person. Now they're mad at all the things you said that person did.
Can I ask you something? How many of you have ever been drawn into something like that? I mean all of a sudden some of you, you find out somebody said something, and you know what, now you're stressed out and mad about something that you had nothing to do with. Well I can't believe so and so said that to so and so when they did this, and I just don't think that's right, and you weren't even there or involved. Now you have conflict in your life that had nothing to do with you.
So that's why we have to stop it. Speak not evil of your brother. Restrain your mouth. And by the way I'm going to tell you something, when you get conflict, especially in a home relationship, husband and wife, whatever, you're just going to have to shut your mouth. Speak not evil.
Boy we know some things to say, don't we? Speak not evil. And he said secondly, or judgeth thy brother. Restrain your judgment. That's where you and I get into big trouble because we begin to think we know their motives, we know their heart, we think we know, we're above, and they're just ignorant. And I, let me tell you something dear friend, that is pride and God is now against you. You and I need to make sure, listen, it's not my position to judge my brother or sister in Christ.
Hey does the Sunday morning crowd agree with me? I would think that church people would be thrilled to say amen when the pastor says it is not our position to judge our brothers or sisters in Christ. Everybody talks about how all church people, all they do is judge. Well you're hearing a pastor tell you it's not our place. Now we are, the Bible says, to judge sin.
The Bible says we're to make sure we, but we're not to judge individuals because we're not to judge. And that creates conflict. And dear friend I'm here to tell you if you want to resolve your conflict, it's going to require restraint.
It's not going to be easy, but we have to do it. Notice this next as we're drawing to a close. Look at verse 13. I want you to see this, that resolution requires perspective.
Resolution requires perspective. Notice in verse 13. Go to now ye that say today or tomorrow we will go into such a city and continue there a year and buy and sell and get gain. In other words, those of you that make plans and just think that you have all the time in the world and that you know what's going to happen. Look at verse 14. Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life?
It is even a vapor that appearth for a little time and then vanisheth away. For that ye ought to say if the Lord will we shall live and do this or that. But now ye rejoice in your boastings.
All such rejoicing is evil. What do you mean perspective preacher? Resolution requires perspective.
Can I challenge you? In your life you're not even really going to be motivated to resolve some things unless you have this kind of perspective. You say perspective of what?
Number one is perspective of life. This is what he says. Those of you that think you've got all the time in the world and you've already made your plans and you think things are fine. You don't know what's going to happen tomorrow.
You don't even know. So you and I have to get to the point to look at ourselves and say you know what? My time is short. Is it really worth me allowing this conflict to continue for months? I mean when you and I realize how little time we actually have. I mean and I know there's conflict with family and different things but you know what?
If there's a conflict between you and your wife or you and your husband. I'm here to tell you and everybody's always told me and I'm a full believer in this now because we have three children and two of them didn't make it today. We're sick this morning and things but I'm here to tell you that it goes fast and my wife and I are trying to raise our kids and it feels like man we've just I felt like I came to Kerwin yesterday and my kids were tiny and now they're not. And it's like all of a sudden like where did this and I realize it's going so fast. Our time is so short.
Do we really want to ruin much of it with dumb conflicts? So if you and I have the right as he says here perspective of life. He said what is your life? It is even a vapor.
You and I need to realize how fragile and short it is and if we would realize that maybe we wouldn't make such a big deal about our side of the argument and our point that we want to make and realize that the conflict isn't worth ruining this short period of time that we have. I was this yesterday was my wife's birthday and we were eating for a birthday. My mother-in-law told me this is I guess it was last Wednesday night. You know it says life is a vapor and she was helping in one of the junior churches from our bus ministry and she loves that ministry and she's helping in that one of the men in our church was giving the lesson and he was talking about this passage. And he was talking about your life is even a vapor trying to get these small children to understand how short life is and he said how many of you even know what a vapor is and how many of you can say things change over the years. So my mother-in-law said this little boy and she gave his name was sitting next to her and when the gentleman from our church said how many of you even know what a vapor is that little boy looked up at my mother-in-law and went. It's not that kind of vapor.
It's not a vape. Life is short. Life is short. Resolution requires perspective.
I wonder how many times individuals look into a casket of a family member and look with regret at the years that were wasted with conflict. Second it's perspective of the Lord's will. It requires perspective. This is what he says. Hey your life's just a vapor.
It's fast. Second thing you and I need to keep in mind look at verse 15 he said for what you ought to say is if the Lord will we shall do this and that. You and I to resolve conflict we need the right perspective of life but we need the right perspective of the Lord's will.
It means this that in my life it shouldn't be about what Daniel wants it should be about what the Lord wants. Instead of me making my plans tomorrow according to what I want to do or what I think needs to be done what I ought to say is if God wants this done I'll do it. In other words you're going to resolve a lot of conflict in your life if you determine right now that God's will is going to be top priority. It'll make a lot of decisions really easy.
You see your decision isn't going to be based on now well I wonder what mama thinks I ought to do and what daddy thinks I ought to do and what do I want to do and what do these people think and what do my friends think. Dear friend listen when it's just God's will that simplifies things. You and I have a lot of conflict in our life many times you know why because we want our will and it's against God's will. And if we'll just resolve that conflict right now that you know what if it's what the Lord wants well that sure will resolve some things. We need the right perspective on life we need the right perspective on the Lord's will.
Notice thirdly we need the right perspective of ourselves. This is what he said in verse 16 but now you rejoice in your boastings. All such rejoicing is evil. Now what do you and I often do in conflict with an individual we will bring up their failures and we will be glad to share our accomplishments. Well I did such and such and I've done such and such and I've always such and such you know we use those words always and never. I've never done something like that oh really.
Yeah I've never eaten a donut either whatever. What do you and I do when we argue in conflict what we're saying is all I can think of is everything I've done right and all I can see is what you've done wrong. We don't have the right perspective of ourselves. This is what the Lord says you're boasting and rejoicing in your boastings you that is evil. It means this if I have the right perspective of myself in conflict shouldn't I be willing to admit maybe I've done some wrong things too. Maybe I've messed up too.
I know this person did such and such and I know it's probably but you know what I haven't been perfect either. Thank you for listening today. We hope you received a blessing from our broadcast. The Kerwin Baptist Church is located at 4520 Old Hollow Road in Kernersville, North Carolina. You may also contact us by phone at 336-993-5192 or via the web at KerwinBaptistChurch.com. Enjoy our services live and all our media on our website and church app. Thank you for listening to the Kerwin broadcast today. God bless you.
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