Kerwin Baptist Church Daily Broadcast

Welcome to the Kerwin Baptist Church broadcast today. Even of your lusts that war in your members. Now I would love to be able to get up here this morning and speak to you on the subject of how to avoid conflicts in your life. And as I mentioned, the problem is that would be an extremely short message. Although you would love that, you cannot avoid conflicts. Now there are things and steps you could take that I could certainly share in a message that would help eliminate or avoid some conflicts.

It would kind of keep some conflicts from getting worse or whatever the case is. But in life you're gonna have conflicts. God's word never says that we don't have conflicts but God's word gives us instructions on how to deal with them. How to resolve them what we call biblically.

And I have found that you can try anybody's advice, go to any book you want to and that's fine. But you will never really accomplish what you need to accomplish till you get in the Bible and do it God's way. Can I have an amen right there? So let's look in God's word. From whence come wars and fightings among you, let's pray. Lord I love you and Lord I pray that you'd give us wisdom today, thank you for what you've already done, the good day we've already had, so encouraging. Now Lord thank you for every person here and Lord I pray that you administer to their hearts as I'm not able to. God I'm preaching your word because that's where the power lies. God I'm asking you to do a work that I cannot do.

In Jesus name we pray, amen. Well before we go any further we have to kind of understand what is being talked about here. Notice the first phrase in verse one, from whence come wars and fightings among you. We're talking here about conflict between us and individuals but it's saying more than that. Now I want you to notice that word wars, from whence come wars. This is a Greek word that literally means this, warfare.

It literally means a constant process. It means a single encounter or a series of encounters with a single enemy. It means literally a battle that is raging.

You see this word wars is speaking not of our conflicts with others, it is speaking of our conflict that we have within ourselves. You and I need to understand that there is a battle raging inside of us. It is a battle if you are saved between what we call the flesh and the spirit. If you've never been saved then there is a spirit that has never been regenerated in your life. It's never been made alive until you get saved. But once you are saved you now have a battle between the flesh and the spirit and that is a series of encounters with the same enemy.

It's you against Satan. It is literally the battle that is within us. And I want you to understand this morning most of our conflicts do not come from outside.

They come from inside of our own selves. Then he uses this word from whence come wars and fightings among you. So whenever God's word uses two words there's always a reason. And there would be some that would say well it'd be easier, they both kind of mean the same thing so let's just put one thing.

No, no, no, we use the Bible the way we use it because there's a reason for everything. This word fightings is a different word. It literally means battle but it means strive or striving.

It means controversy. It literally means an individual battle with numerous enemies. You see this word fightings is the word that we have for conflicts that we have with others. The wars is what's going on inside of us. The fightings is what's going on outside of us. You see every day whether I'm around you or not I have a battle that is raging between my flesh and my spirit. That's a conflict that I bear. But because of that conflict that often causes conflicts between me and those around me, that's fightings. So James asked this question so where does this conflict begin? This conflict that is inside of you and the conflict that is without you, where does that all start?

I want you to notice number one today. I want us to look at this subject first. All conflict is a source issue. All conflict is a source issue. We have to figure out what is the source of all this? What causes these conflicts in marriage, in church, in relationships, at the job, between siblings, between parents, where does this all start?

What is the source of this? Notice what he says in verse one. He says from whence come these wars and fightings? Notice what he says. Come they not hence even of your lust that war in your members.

You looking at me this morning? I hate to be the bearer of such wonderful news, but you know the source of your conflicts is you. Now you and I can blame everyone else all we want to and we could bring up some good points of why, well yeah but I have conflict because this person's done this and because this has done this because my husband has done this because my wife has done this because my sister did this and my mom did this and my dad did this and we can do this all day if we want. We can come up with all kinds of good reasons or we can just look at God's word. And he said where these things come from, these conflicts that you have in your life, they come from your lusts in your members.

Comes from us. Now we're not gonna get any further till we admit that. Now as much as I can give you Bible, there are still gonna be some that I wanna bring up things and listen I'm the first to tell you, there are sometimes people do horrible things to us and yes we're not talking about sinful acts and we're not talking about, but that's not what I'm speaking of. I mean that normally when we begin to have conflicts and relationships in our life, really deep down the issue is in us.

But most people don't wanna admit that. You say well why is that the issue? Well notice as he gives us this verse, God gives it all to us. Notice first this that our conflict is a source issue and the first source he brings up is our desires. He says literally, he says your lusts in your members. Your lusts, this word lust means literally a desire that overtakes us. It means literally that we want something so bad, be it a material thing or we want a person to do such and such so bad or we think that so and so should be doing this for me that those desires end up bringing conflict in our life. Our desires, your lusts he said.

And here's what happens when we begin to accumulate and think of ourselves so much that we look at life as well. I did not get this and I have not received this and this person did not do what I think they should do for me. It brings up the second cause he says is our disappointments. Notice what he says in verse one. He says literally where do these fightings come from? They come from your lust and your members and look at verse two. He says ye lust and have not disappointment. He said literally that these desires are creating conflict in your life and then as you allow those desires to overtake you when those desires are not satisfied, ye have not, it brings conflict. Notice the third thing is our desperation. You see conflict begins with the frustration.

Listen to me now. That we want more than we have. We think our husband should be doing this. We think our wife should be doing this. We think the pastor should be doing this.

We think our fellow church member, our employee or our employer, whatever the case is, we think they should be doing this. I'm not getting from them what I think I should get. It's getting quiet in here.

We have more people but it's way more quiet. Listen to me. Our desires turn into disappointments and those disappointments turn into desperation. You say what do you mean? Look if you would at verse two, the second part of verse two, he says ye kill and desire to have and cannot obtain.

What do you mean ye kill? Does he mean literally here? Oh so you're wanting things and now you just start stabbing people?

No, this is figurative. Understand God's word, he's saying this. That you literally get to the point then you become so desperate that you do not care who you hurt or how much damage you do.

I am just gonna continue to pitch a fit and complain and accuse and argue and have conflict with individuals to make sure they know how disappointed I am in them not doing what I want. He says it literally becomes desperate. You know desperate people do desperate things and desperate people that are just unhappy have to find a reason. They can't admit that it's them. So we have to point our fingers at people. Hello. This is not fun.

There's no beds or door up here. But this is where the rubber meets the road. Notice last we see our damage.

Look at this phrase he says in verse two. Ye fight and war. Now we're blessed in this church to have former military men and women. How thankful we are for that. We could never thank them for their service to our country because when you serve our country you serve us and we appreciate it.

And we have at this church in years past have individuals that have served in World War I and World War II and all kinds of in between and conflicts and however you want to term it. But every one of them that have had any experience with that will tell you this. That when it comes to war or conflicts there's always damage. There's always damage. Lives are always damaged. No matter who wins or who loses there's still damage. He says this that literally your lust has overtaken you that now you are fighting and warring and that is gonna cause damage to your relationships and your marriages and all the things in your life. If you allow it to continue it will bring damage. Our desires turn into disappointments that turn into desperation and that creates damage.

And what was the source? My lusts and my members. All conflict is a source issue.

Let me say this. All outside conflict begins first with inside conflict. You see we can always point to a person or circumstance or a thing and say this is why I'm unsatisfied. This is why I'm unhappy.

This is why my needs are not met but dear friend the problem really is inside. There are things lacking between you and God. All conflict is a source issue. Notice number two. All conflict is a spiritual issue. Now I'm not making this up.

I'm not just coming up with because I need a couple extra points. I'm gonna look at God's word and my job is to outline it so you can understand it. Notice if you would verse two. Remember all conflict is a spiritual issue. Look at verse two. He says ye lust and have not, ye kill and desire to have and cannot obtain. Ye fight in war and notice now he's getting to where the rubber meets the road. He's getting really down deep to the source of some issues. Notice what he says. He says ye have not and that's one of the reasons we're so disappointed and we're so unhappy and so discontent and have so much conflict in our life.

He says ye have not because ye what? You see it's really a spiritual issue. Now listen to me. I want you to get this.

Please don't miss this. God says this. You're upset and you're disappointed and you have conflict because you want things that you can't get or you want things that weren't given to you. And he says one of the reasons you don't have those things or you don't have that happiness, you don't have that fulfillment, you don't have that satisfaction in your life, he says is because you never asked me.

Is the light bulb starting to go off a little bit now? Do we understand? God said hey you want and you can't get and then you go so far you'll kill and try to get and then you still can't get it and now you're so desperate you'll fight and war and cause damage with other things and you still don't have it and he said I'm telling you one of the reasons you don't have it is because you never even thought to look to me for it.

Hold on. So first point under all conflict is a spiritual issue. Listen, number one is this, our dependence is on individuals instead of God.

That's the first problem. Our dependence, he is saying here, we've allowed it to become dependent on individuals instead of on God. He said you're fighting with others because of what you want. You have started to look to them for your happiness, you've started to look to others for your joy and God says you never came to me for it.

You've become dependent on individuals instead of dependent upon God. Now I don't have time this morning to give you all the verses in God's word that proves that God says that joy only comes from the Lord. Happiness comes from things, joy comes from the Lord. Happiness is a result of something happening. I've got to do something else to get happy. I've got to have something else to get happy. We've got to keep having more to be happy but joy comes from the Lord. Joy is there even when things aren't happening.

God says you never asked me. You have become dependent on individuals instead of God. Listen to me, when you and I begin to think that our joy and our contentment should come from people or it should come from circumstances or it should come from things, we are placing an impossible expectation on individuals. If we look at marriage as if my contentment now should come from my husband and when my husband doesn't do what I think my husband should do, now I'm not content. And dear friend, if your husband did everything you wanted him to do, you still wouldn't be content. Well I'm disappointed because I think I do wonderful things for my wife and my wife doesn't do this and my wife acts this way and my wife this and my wife that. Dear friend, if she didn't, you still wouldn't be happy. Because your happiness, your joy, your contentment should never come from an individual.

And the reason you and I have so much conflict in relationships is because we're expecting something from those relationships that those relationships could never give. So people come to a church, well I'm not getting fed by that preacher, oh really. So I didn't meet your expectation. Anybody ask, did you meet mine?

How many services have you not been here? Do I have the right to come to your house and say hey, you didn't meet my expectation. I'm disappointed in you. Oh preachers open market for everybody to say whatever, right? Well I don't know, he just preaches too long, he preaches too short, he whatever. But for some reason we can't just sit down and let's just be even about this. Oh you sleep while I preach. We don't want to get in all that do we? And you know I'm picking with you this morning. Our dependence cannot be on individuals.

Has to be on the Lord. Otherwise if you begin to stop and really look at your life you'll find whoever it is and whatever it is there's always something about it that you don't like. There's always something about every relationship that you feel is lacking.

There's always something about everyone that you have a relationship with, whether it's at work, whether it's at church or whether it's at home, that they've somehow are always disappointing to you. From whence come wars and fightings among us? From your lust and your members. Notice the second thing he says here that all conflict is a spiritual issue. He says ye ask not, so that's why you don't have.

You have not because you ask not. Now it's as if God read our mind and he knows exactly where we're going to go, it's where we always go. Because we always got an answer for everything don't we? Am I the only one here? I'm struggling this morning, am I the only, I guess none of you struggle with any of this. Maybe you've already resolved all your conflicts.

Maybe I'm creating some new conflicts to resolve this morning, I don't know. So God knows what we're gonna say, here's what most people are gonna say. Yeah but wait a minute, I did ask God. I did pray. I did and God never answered. Wait a minute preacher, I know you're saying I'm still been out of shape and it's because that really the problem's in me and not others and God says one of the reasons you don't have that contempt is because you never came to me for it. Well I have preacher, I have gone to God about it.

And I certainly have said that too. Look at verse three. He says ye ask, now he just said at the end of verse two ye have not because you ask not.

Now he answers this point that he knows we're gonna bring up, yeah but I did pray. I've met people like that, you know they think that God, they're just surveying whether God's worthy of their belief. Well I wanna look at this whole thing everybody claims about God. I wanna see if God's really worthy for me to believe in him. Dear friend, listen, he is worthy. He's not worthy because we decide he's worthy enough to believe.

He's God. But notice what God says, he says ye ask. Because there's gonna be some that say well the problem's not me, I did ask God.

Oh yeah but look at verse three. He says ye ask and receive not. Here we are still, we don't have it. We didn't get it. He says ye have not because you didn't ask.

And he said then sometimes it's because you asked and you received not, why? Because ye ask amiss that ye may consume it upon your lusts. Here's our lust again. The same thing that goes around in verse one that caused this whole started process. Here we are right back at the beginning.

Look at me, I want you to get this. The first problem he says is this, that our dependence is on individuals instead of God. Notice secondly he brings up our desires are selfish instead of spiritual. You know a lot of times God says you know what, why I can't bring contentment into your life is not because with you it might be you're asking but you're asking for the wrong reasons. You say you're going to God, God please help my husband.

God please help my wife. I mean really and we act like it's a spiritual reason but deep down it's selfish because I'm still trying to get God to make them do what I want. I'm asking amiss because really what I'm asking for is to consume my own desires. So you really want to know where conflicts, you say hey preacher, oh wait a minute.

What about all these interpersonal relationships and what about all the step by step, step one, two, three, four. Listen that's next week. That's next week. You need a week to swallow all this to finally get to the point where I have to get to the point to realize it's me. It's me. It's me.

God says your dependence is on individuals instead of me and your motives have become selfish instead of spiritual. Conflict can bring that out in you by the way. Did you hear about Tonto and the Lone Ranger? They were riding through a canyon. Lone Ranger was riding just a little bit in front because you know Tonto always had to ride a little bit behind.

I like to see him do that nowadays. And as they're riding through this canyon all of a sudden they looked up and there were Indians lined the top of that canyon. They all had their arrows pulled back and Tonto and the Lone Ranger are riding through this canyon and the Lone Ranger looks up and looks back at Tonto and he said, Tonto, what in the world do we do? And Tonto answered back, why you say we, white man?

All of a sudden Tonto was all Indian. Why? Because conflict often can bring out the real us. Conflict can bring out the old selfish nature. God says you have not because you ask not. You never even came to me about it. Can I ask you a question? When was the last time we went to God and prayed before we went to our wife and complained? When was the last time we went to God and spent some hours in prayer before we went to our husband to tell him everything we didn't like?

When was the last time that we got down and prayed instead of getting on Facebook? You know, sometimes I wish instead of putting everything on Facebook like people do, why don't you take that same energy and start spreading the gospel? I'm glad you have your beliefs. We all have beliefs, but you know what? This is the one thing that we can count on.

So let's get on and spread that. You know what happens oftentimes? Listen, it's literally that we ask for selfish reasons because deep down it's all about us. Now we have conflict and we create the conflict and now we accuse everyone else of being the cause of the conflict. All conflict is a source issue. All conflict is a spiritual issue. May I ask you, imagine how it would help any church, any given church. Can you imagine how much it would help that church if that church's members learned how to resolve conflict biblically?

Y'all think that would help this church? Could I ask you this because you're saying, well preacher, why is all this important? Could you imagine how it would change marriages if husbands and wives could learn how to resolve conflict biblically? Number three, all conflict is a sin issue. All conflict is a source issue.

You gotta know the source and it's us. All conflict is a spiritual issue. It's literally we haven't gone to God or if we did, it was for selfish reasons anyway. So now, James is just kinda slowly bringing us along, giving us the reasons, making things clear. Remember, assembly required in relationships. Things don't just come together, put together.

We're gonna have to build them to make them what they need to be. So now James just blunts, he just lets it out. You'll find in the book of James, we just went through the book of James here at church on Wednesday nights, not long ago.

Went through the whole book. You'll find that James uses certain language, certain words and James just, and all of a sudden, in chapter four here in verse four, it's out of character, out of everything else. He just says, ye adulterers and adulteresses.

Whoa. I mean, we're talking about, hey, you know, conflict, you just haven't maybe kind of, all of a sudden, you bunch of cheaters. You bunch of sinners.

What in the world? Now, just for, and I know you understand this, but just so you understand, this is a principle given from the Old Testament. In the Old Testament, God made it clear to his people that when they were unfaithful to him, it was like they had committed adultery on God.

They had left God for someone else. Now, I wanna give you these verses just so as we go, we don't say something and assume that everybody understands what we're talking about. Look at this verse in Isaiah 54, verse five. For thy maker is thine husband. And who's our maker? God. He is thine husband. The Lord of hosts is his name, and thy redeemer, the holy one of Israel.

The God of the whole earth shall he be called. Listen, for the Lord hath called thee as a woman forsaken and grieved in spirit, and a wife of youth when thou wast refused, saith thy God. So God pictures us here as a marriage relationship with God.

And when we are unfaithful to God, we are adulterers or adulteresses to God. Thank you for listening today. We hope you received a blessing from our broadcast. The Kirtland Baptist Church is located at 4520 Old Hollow Road in Kernersville, North Carolina. You may also contact us by phone at 336-993-5192 or via the web at kirtlandbaptistchurch.com. Enjoy our services live and all our media on our website and church app. Thank you for listening to the Kerwin broadcast today. God bless you. We'll see you in the next episode of Kirtland Baptist Church.