We live in alienating times when it's not uncommon to walk among thousands of people and even in a crowd, the isolation can feel suffocating.
Sound familiar? It's all too common. In our high-tech world, loneliness has become an epidemic. even inside the church. Today, on Insight for Living, Chuck Swindahl unpacks Romans chapter 16.
A passage often skimmed over, yet it's bursting with profound truth about cultivating an authentic Christian community. In this study, we'll see how the early church fostered genuine affection, embraced messy diversity, and created a family where lonely hearts found belonging. Let me read for you several excerpts from this great 16th chapter of Romans. The worship folder I mentioned earlier contains an outline for the morning message that. You'll want to have handy, there are a couple of three points along the way, you'll want to take note of.
It will keep us on target and get us through these very unusual sixteen verses of Romans sixteen. A message we've titled Love and Kisses.
Some of you are nervous about the application of that message, so Let me put your mind at ease. You have nothing. to worry about. Romans 16:1. I commend to you our sister Phoebe.
who is a servant of the church. which is at Sancrea. That you receive her in the Lord in a manner worthy of the saints, and that you help her in whatever matter. she may have need of you. For she herself has also been a helper of many.
and of myself as well. Greet Prisca and Aquila. My fellow workers in Christ Jesus, who for my life risked their own necks. to whom not only do I give thanks, but also all the churches of the Gentiles. Also greet the church.
that is in their house. Verse 7. Greet Andronicus and Junius, my kinsmen and my fellow prisoners. Who are outstanding among the apostles, who also were in Christ. Before me.
Verse 15. Greet Philologus and Julia. Nerus and his sister and Olympus And all the saints who are with them. Greet one another with A holy kiss. All the churches of Christ.
Greet you. You're listening to Insight for Living. To dig deeper into the book of Romans on your own, be sure to purchase our Searching the Scriptures Bible Study Workbook by going to insight.org slash offer. Chuck titled today's message, Love and Kisses. The church was never meant to be impressive or slick.
or, for that matter, efficient. Though the early church was large, it was never called mega. A mega church. Though it was on the cutting edge of its culture, it was never referred to as an emerging church. Though its arms were open wide for all who would wish to fellowship.
It was never called seeker-friendly. Because it was full of good and open and free communication. There was a sense of belonging, but it was never called high-tech. All of those terms, all of those labels are corporate words. That unfortunately have found their way into the 21st century church.
And have caused us to think about church as if it were a business with a cross on top. But the church was never originated to be any of that. The church was called originally and is expected to be even in this 21st century a family. A family of both weak and strong individuals, of younger and middle-aged and older, of infants and children, as well as those who are near death. Not an.
Impersonal institution. A place where prejudice and politics Hold sway. How easy for us in a high-tech age to think of the church as needing to be high-tech? Several years ago, I was traveling with a number of pastoral interns, and we chose one of the better-known churches to visit. The pastor knew we were coming, was looking forward to our visit along with several of his staff.
And we got there a little bit early, so we walked in and sort of stood around the back, and were rather obvious as we were standing there. And the head custodian walked up and began to talk with us. It's great to visit, by the way, with a custodian. You'll find out more about the church from a custodian than you ever will from the pastor.
So we thought we'd talk to him for a while. We asked him about a number of things. Before long, he was beginning to get around the subject of size.
So we said, How big is the church? He said, Oh, let's see, we process about 2,500 people a Sunday. Ah! Use the P word. Church doesn't process people.
Unless it's become a high-tech institution. That's slick and impressive. You process those names you don't know. This isn't the waiting room for some physician. This isn't a hospital.
where people go that only have an insurance. card to show This is a family. This is a place where people speak words that are reliable and. And they demonstrate a faith that is invincible, and they model grace. grace that is tangible and If you will, affection.
That is demonstrable. Or it should be.
Now, I'm going to pause and warn you of something because I know church people, been hanging around them over 70 years. Not you, but I've been hanging around church people. I know what you're going to think all the way through this message. I'm so glad so-and-so is here to hear this today. Or preacher.
Pay attention to your own words. You're the one who needs them. You're right. I need them more than anyone. And so do you.
So, don't think about anybody but yourself. I'll give you permission to do that. You're the one in great need of hearing the message. Because if you don't see it that way, you will live your life full of resentment against somebody else who isn't doing what I'm going to preach on today. And some of you today are terribly resentful.
So this will help you if you take it personally. We're a lonely bunch, you know. I read this past week about a man feeling very lonely and. down on his luck in a sort of a low-rent district of a town, and he was walking along a broken sidewalk and he came to an old used bookstore, and he looked through the big plate glass window and he saw books on display. One read, How to hug.
He thought. If there's a book I need to read. I'm going to get that book. He walked inside and picked up this big book, and he found that it was the tenth volume of an encyclopedia set covering the subjects of how to hug. He felt probably like a lot of people feel when they come to a church.
They get an encyclopedic explanation, intellectual discussion. an exposition of the subject of love. But they don't touch anyone else. When we were designing our new building, we were told that pews are not as popular today as chairs with arms. Because people don't like to touch each other.
Yeah. Man, I remember when I used to lay down on the pew and stick my feet in the neighbor's lap. Maybe that's why they stopped building pews. Far too long have Christians been like a little room full of primary-age girls with flowers in their hands plucking the petals, He loves me. He loves me not.
He loves me. He loves me not. The church was never meant to be like that. Size, of course, works against us. That's why I've never been enamored of size.
Size tends to break down that sense of belonging. And I thank you for tolerating the size. of Stonebriar Church. We never designed it to get big. It got big.
Because you wouldn't stay away. And uh We're grateful, but it means we've got to work hard at the stuff I'm going to talk about. Otherwise, you're a nameless face. That if we're not careful, we'll begin to process. Let me remind you of the value of affection.
Just a quick breeze through Romans 12. up to chapter 16. Look at 12 verse 9. Just listen, if you don't have a Bible, just listen to these words. Let love be without hypocrisy.
On hypocritas is the Greek word. Non-hypocritical. If you're going to love, love to the face and love to the back the same. If you're going to love, tell a person to their face you love them, and then when they're not around, demonstrate that you love them. Don't be hypocritical.
There's too much of that in the church. Love without hypocrisy. Verse 10, be devoted to one another. In affectionate love, this is a word for demonstrable love. Demonstrable love.
It's amazing how many people. Hold back from even shaking hands with one another in this day and age. Oh, they're germs.
Well, wear gloves. How strange that we would worship along people that we've never even shaken their hand. Pass the warmth of our life into another. Let it be unhypocritical. Look at chapter 13, verse 8.
Owe nothing to anyone except to love one another. For he who loves his neighbor has fulfilled the law. You know what the church has turned verse 8 into? A verse on not getting into debt. We'll do anything to keep from getting the point.
Of course, debt needs to be managed well and carefully, but. The verse is about love. Don't go into debt in any way except in a lifetime of love. Love one another, love one another, love a neighbor. Don't answer out loud.
I wonder the last time any one of our neighbors. heard the word love. come out of our mouths. Or any one of our neighbors had any demonstration that we love them.
So, this is a neighbor that crosses beyond, it transcends the church. Its neighbors. It's folks who don't know Jesus. Wonder how many at work know that you love him. Wonder how many it worked.
Your love. It's convicting, isn't it? Hey, I've lived with it all week. I'm not going to take all this guilt by myself. I'm going to.
I'm going to share it with you. Look at verse 13 of chapter 14. Let us not judge one another anymore, but rather determine this not to put an obstacle or a stumbling block in a brother or a sister's way. Isn't that a good word? Look at 15.
For if because of food or Whatever. Just happened to be food in the first century. Your brother or your sister is hurt, you're no longer walking according to love. It's not that you're free to do it, you are free to do it, but love restricts your freedom. There's a law that's higher than your freedom.
Just as in this free country, there's a law that's higher than you're wanting to, or being able to drive as fast as you wish. There are lights at the corner. There are signs to be observed and obeyed. They build boundaries around it so that Freedom can exist without anarchy. Get rid of the obstacles so your love will flow.
Get rid of your resentment. Get it out of your system. It's very unattractive. Look at chapter 15, verse 5.
Now, may the God who gives perseverance and encouragement grant you to be of the same mind with one another. According to Christ Jesus. Verse seven, accept. one another. First step of love is acceptance.
Stop looking to see if they've got a tattoo or if the guy wears an earring. Or if he's got spiked hair, or she doesn't have the style of clothing that you think she ought to be wearing, when you start caring that much, start buying her clothes, and then she will probably be willing to listen to you. Stop worrying about the response of other people. You've got a huge log in your own eye. Deal with that.
Please. All of this is about authentic Affection.
Now, why do I say this? Because chapter 16 is loaded with names, most of them meaning nothing to us. You'll not read the names. Anywhere else, most of them you'll not see. You have a hard time pronouncing a lot of them.
Some are Roman names, some are Greek names, some are Latin names, and They're hard to read, but you know what? They're there for a reason.
So let's make this list of observations. Let's get our outline out and get it ready. Let me give you three things that these verses say, and then a couple or three things they mean. And I think you'll see the value of even a chapter like this. What do the verses say?
First. There are 27 people mentioned by name. Please don't stop and start counting them. I've done that five, six times. I did it again this morning.
There are 27 names. Just trust me on this. In fact, there are eight more mentioned in 21 to 23, so do the math. We got a bunch of names listed here. All of whom mean something to the writer, Paul.
It's a remarkable memory, isn't it? He's sitting in Corinth. He's giving this information to Tertius, the scribe. By the way, he's mentioned also in verse 22. Tertius, who writes this letter.
So he's writing down names. Probably Tertius doesn't know a lot of these people. These are people that meant something to Paul. You know what I think? I think they're Paul's prayer list.
By the way. You keep people on your prayer list, don't you? You've got names there, don't you? Surely you do. And not just your circle.
But outside You are praying for those that you used to gossip about, aren't you? You are turning that into prayer, aren't you? Not an ugly thing is said about any of these people, though all of them are depraved, all of them are sinful. What a great list. They're all entries in Paul's journal.
Second thing I'll notice that there are 21 titles. 21 titles given. in the 16 verses added to the names. Let me show you. I commend to you our sister Phoebe.
Who is a servant of the church? The word is deacon. believe that Phoebe was one of the early deaconesses. She was a servant at the church. Look at verse 3.
Greek prisca and aquila. She's otherwise called Priscilla. Maybe Paul knew her well enough to now have a nickname, Prisca. Cynthia is often Cindy. Susan is often Susie or Sue.
Maybe Priscilla's Prisca. What a great couple, by the way. Did you notice? They're fellow workers in Christ. Jesus.
Verse 5 is intriguing. Look at this. Greet the church that's in their house. Greet Eponetus, my beloved. who is the first convert in Christ.
From Asia. Huh. Isn't that great? You know why? It's been a number of years since he's come over into Asia, he still remembers the first one he led to Jesus.
Do you remember the first one you led to Christ? Is her name or his name on your prayer list? You didn't just leave them on the doorstep, did you? You still stay in touch with them? I've been eponymous.
had received some postcards from Paul on occasion. I want to thank they kept up a friendship. There are several kinsmen. Look at verse 7. Greet Andronicus and Junius, my kinsmen.
My fellow Prisoners. Woohoo. Right. Ever been in prison? Don't answer out loud.
You never forget fellow prisoners. You never forget those that are incarcerated with you. in a dungeon with Paul. Andronicus. Junius.
Kinsmen, I'm intrigued by that. Were they family members? They were certainly fellow Jews, he would use the word for that. In fact. Verse Seven says They were in Christ before me.
So they were believers before Paul's conversion. Yeah. Isn't that great? This isn't just a list. These are people who are respected and.
Well, they're loved. It means something to the writer.
Now, the third observation I want to make is that there are 19 references to greetings of some kind. Greet her or greet him. I commend to you, Phoebe. These are all affectionate terms. There's a lot of emotions.
There are a lot of memories that flood the mind of the apostle as he tells Tertius: add the name Andronicus. Oh, Andronicus. Oh, Junius. Mm-hmm. Remember them well.
And um Not just greet them, but verse 16 tells the readers to go a step further. Greet one another with a holy kiss. Yeah. Some of you are looking at me like, don't go there. Don't make me do that.
Oh, no. The Holy Kiss has an interesting history, and you'll find this intriguing as I have. In the early church, it wasn't uncommon and still is common in the Middle East for there to be a kiss on the cheek.
However, if you look closely now, They don't kiss. They just kind of Yeah. But in those days they They kissed one another on the cheek. He says, keep it up. In the passing of time, it turned into an embrace and a little kiss.
on the head. Not on the cheap. Hang on. As time passed, they chose to put their lips on the same object. And today, when you travel, you'll see quote, sacred sites that people kiss.
Yeah. Take it from a traveler. Don't ever kiss a sacred sight. Ugh. It's really nasty as you get there.
And then they chose to kiss a scroll of scripture, and then, in passing of time, there was a sheath or a slab of leather that they kissed. as one would go to war. And then it turned into a piece of wood that was passed up and down the congregation about that. We're passing the Kisswood today. And finally it was a piece of paper that kissed.
And ultimately... They no longer touched. Outside your family, it's doubtful any one of you have ever kissed anyone else in this gathering. I understand. T.
S. Eliot wrote in his book. The cocktail party. The reason the cocktail glass has become so important. is that the communion cup has lost its meaning.
Let me tell you where people find real close fellowship. That's the local bar. They don't go there because they're drunk. They go there because they're lonely. Oh, there are drunks that show up there, but most of them are there to have somebody to talk to.
that won't rat on them later. It's taken the place of what the church used to be. May our churches become safe places for honest, life-giving conversations. This is Insight for Living. We're midway through Chuck Swindahl's study in Romans chapter 16.
He titled today's message, Love and Kisses. And we'll hear closing comments from Chuck in just a moment, so stay with us. Keep in mind that our verse-by-verse study in Romans will conclude on December 16th, so now's the time to request the Bible study resources that we offer for this teaching series. Earlier I mentioned the Searching the Scriptures Bible Study Workbooks for this series. The workbooks come in two volumes.
We also have a collection of 44 audio files available, all of Chuck's sermons for this series. You can place your order today by going to insight.org/slash offer. Insight for Living is made possible because of people just like you who rely on Chuck's teaching as a guiding light every day. It might surprise you to learn how many people listen to Chuck, yet how few actually get in touch with us. December is a critically important month for Insight for Living.
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We're so grateful to have you along all these years. Lest you think I'm wrapping things up, I want to share my deepest conviction, and one that I share with our entire team. Without question, all of us at Insight for Living believe our best years are yet to come.
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Join us when Schuxmindahl continues our study in Romans, the Christian's Constitution. Friday on Insight for Living. The preceding message, Love and Kisses, was copyrighted in 2008, 2010, and 2025, and the sound recording was copyrighted in 2025 by Charles R. Swindahl, Incorporated. All rights are reserved worldwide.
duplication of copyrighted material for commercial use is strictly prohibited.
