And She Got Up

This is the Truth Network. Welcome to Hope in the Morning. turning tragedies and tears into testimonies of hope. Today's episode is a powerful, deeply honest conversation with a young mother. whose life was changed overnight when her husband was killed in a bicycling accident, leaving her a widow with three small children at just 29 years old.

In the middle of devastating loss, she found herself clinging to the character of God and his promises, to never forsake her. Courtney, thank you for joining us today on Hope in the Morning. Hey, thank you for having me. I'm so honored.

So I just finished reading your amazing book called And She Got Up. And this is very newly released, right? Did it just come out in February? Is that right? Yep, February.

Okay. 24th. Can you walk us through a little bit of your own story and your own testimony in your words? Yeah, well I married my childhood sweetheart. And we were living the dream.

Life was not without hardship, but it was one of those kind of fairy tale. lives where I was with the man of my dreams and I had been with him since we were kids. We got married, we were in full time ministry together. He was a worship pastor and we moved to Atlanta, which I'm originally from Arkansas, but We moved to Atlanta and we helped plan a church. And had three babies, and that's kind of when.

Everything shifted the day before Thanksgiving in 2012. Mm-hmm.

So you had three young kids. How old were your three kids? They were eight, six, and two.

Okay. And you said you guys had been childhood sweethearts, so you had grown up. with him. Yeah. How long?

We grew up together. We were, um, we were all each other new. And I was 29 and he was 30 when the most beautiful day turned just tragically dark in an instant when he went out on a bike ride and everything was just going smoothly and we were in just kind of vacation mode, right? We were. Having just a very average normal day.

The skies were blue and Andrew went out on a bike ride, which on the side he was, so he was a worship pastor, but on the side, he was an avid cyclist. And this is just something that he did to clear his mind. And he went out on a 75-mile bike ride. And I can vividly remember hearing the garage door close. And several hours later, I got a phone call that upended our lives.

And I got word that Andrew had been in an accident. And that I needed to get to the emergency room as soon as possible.

So the kids and I loaded up and we headed to the trauma unit where we were faced with our greatest fears and got that phone call. that Andrew didn't make it. And I had to tell my babies that he was with Jesus. And to say that Um it was the most shattering Moment of my life is an understatement. It was like our world had detonated, and the love of my life, the best husband, the best father, a worship pastor to thousands of people, was now in the presence of Jesus.

But we were rocked upside down. Yeah, in after reading your book, which I'll tell you I read this in Two Days, and I Have Four Kids. It's an excellent book. You did a great job really drawing us into your story. But, Courtney, one of the things that really hit me, especially as a mom, is What you did after, as you call it, the car ride from hell to the hospital, where you then receive that phone call that says Andrew did not make it.

Can you tell our listeners what you chose to do in the parking lot with your three little babies? Yeah. I didn't know what to do.

So, the best thing that I knew. Um You know, it hurts to breathe.

So it is that moment where everything is just. Has been thrown upside down, and we pulled into the parking lot of the hospital. And I got the kids out of the car, and I didn't know what to do, and so I just. grabbed the kids' hands and we got down on our knees. And I can still remember the feeling of the asphalt just digging in our in my kneecaps.

And I had my baby's hands, their little, sweet, innocent hands in mine. And I can remember just saying, Guys, I don't know. I don't know what God is doing. But I said I trust him in this moment right now. I'm choosing to trust him.

And I really said that, not just for my benefit, but for my babies, so they could hear. Me say that, and have something to hold on to in this moment of just complete and utter devastation, and uncertainty, and fear, and panic, and anger.

So, we got down on our knees and we prayed. I can still, you know, like there were contrails in the sky. I remember. Remember, it was this beautiful blue sky day that turned as black as midnight. within a moment of um within a matter of moments and um I can remember just scooping up.

My youngest was still in a diaper, and I just remember scooping him up and walking into the hospital, into this life that was unknown, a life that we did not plan, a life that I didn't know. If there was a future. Wow, I mean that. That was such a powerful moment in your book. You had a lot of powerful moments in your book, but I think grief kind of shows us what our faith is made of in a lot of ways because there's no, I think you said something along the lines of this in your book, that there is no Faking.

when you've been shattered, when you've been devastated, there's no There's no pretenses. It is what it is. And the fact that you're first instinct was to take your sorrow. to the cross with your children. is a is a beautiful thing that I hope that our our listeners um we'll just kind of think about how how do we who do we go to?

when our world is completely Turned upside down. And one of the other things I would love for you to talk about briefly is you talk about. When your friend I think your name was Angie. When your friend drove you home, and how sadness. Turned two different emotions and yet your friend stayed steady.

Can you talk to us about that a little bit too? Yes, my precious friend Angela. She was a God-given Just rock for me during this time. That, you know, it's beautiful how, in hindsight, I could see that God was just kind of setting up his provision ahead of time in order for when that moment just blew our lives up. That I had, he had in his provision and care because we were far away from our family.

and had been for all of our years of ministry. But out of his provision and care, he sent Angela, was one of my dearest friends, and she was unafraid to step into the mess. She walked into that hospital. And entered in a place that most people would say, no, I'm not, that's too hard, it's too dark, it's too scary. But she entered right in and she encouraged me.

She said, You don't need to drive home. I'm gonna drive you home. Paul, her husband, will take the kids. And so I got in the car and she drove me home. And it went from, so the car ride was only, just for context, 15, 20 minutes at best.

But that car ride went from shock to sadness, to wondering how in the world I was gonna leave Andrew behind at the hospital. And Go into this new life that I didn't know life apart from Andrew. And I had been with him at this point. I was 29. I had been with him over half of my life.

So I didn't know life without him. But this car ride just emerged from shock to sadness to just like full-on anger. Like, God, I've given you my whole life and I've loved you forever.

So, where are you? You know, I had that moment that a lot of us feel when we walk through tragedy and grief of just wondering, God, are you still here? Did you turn your back on me? Where are you? But in that moment, I mean, there, you can't fake anything.

There is no room to. To put any kind of false impression up about what has actually happened.

So, as much as I loved Jesus, I also, on the other hand, was just going like, Through this, I mean, I threw my cell phone at the dashboard. That's not something that I normally do. And, but in this moment, it was like, I realized that I was not in control. That There was a God who promised to never leave me and never forsake me. And now it was time for every part of me That had believed in God to now take hold.

Of who he said he was and would be. And so that really sent me into a really deep and personal journey with discovering that Jesus is near to the brokenhearted, that he is present tense, a father to the fatherless, and a widow, a defender of widows. and orphans, it says, is God. That's present tense. That means it wasn't, you know, 2,000 years ago.

It means right now. In this moment, wherever we are, in our grief and our pain and our sadness, that God. promises that he will be with us. Right now. take hold of all of those things.

Robbie, would you say as a pastor, I think that what Courtney just described People are almost afraid to admit that We're normal too. You know, part of our grieving process does sometimes look like anger and rage and feeling glimpses of forsakenness, even though our hearts and our minds know that that's not true. Would you say, as a pastor who counsels people, Do you see that quite often when people are being honest about their their grief journey. I love the way that she put it: that you don't have any room to be any place but that if it's real. And you have a real.

tragedy on your hands. Then things get... to the point where you do. And I love what you said earlier, that if you're there in your faith, that that is where you will go. David illustrates it throughout the Psalms, and I can tell you how many times I've done it.

You know, that we just had a screaming match, and I know that that's actually, like she said, it's a deeply personal thing. But honestly In grief, my experience and yours is we don't really have that much control over it. Like, we think we have some control over our emotions, really. You know, try that out for a little while. If something really is going out, you don't have that much control, but you know, who does.

And so, at that point in time, laying it out and just going, Well, here I am, and I don't understand. But, you know, and I love what she did, and I love that. The friend in the picture, right? Because I heard the description. But the friend is just Actually, doing what Job's friends should have done.

She's being quiet and letting this happen, but she didn't have to do it alone. And that's what the pastor's role should be, in my opinion. You know, this is between you and God. I'm here with you and I want to help you. But the real business is not going to be in what the pastor says here.

It's going to be between you and God and His Word. Yeah. You know, when we come back from the break, we're going to be talking about something else that I thought so many things in here, Courtney, that were really poetically written, actually. And one of the things that I love that you said is that how the Lord brought you victory on the valley floor.

So when we come back, we're going to talk about how the Lord He did not leave you or forsake you, He gave you victory even on the valley floor.

So join us in just a moment on Hope in the Morning. Are you in a season of seemingly endless sorrow? Is your heart longing for encouragement? Join us on Hope in the Morning to hear powerful testimonies of how God is a light even in our darkest valley. We'd also love to pray for you.

Simply submit your prayer request at hopeinthemorning.org. Have you ever struggled to comfort a grieving friend? John 11:35 says, Jesus wept. When Jesus was told by Mary and Martha that their brother Lazarus had died, Jesus wept. Today on Hope in the Morning, we invite you to learn what it looks like to weep with those who weep.

Learn what it means to sit in the ashes and be encouraged that even in our morning, there's hope. His name is Jesus. Visit hopeinthemorning.org to learn more. Welcome back to Hope in the Morning. We are joined today by Courtney Pray Duke.

And she found herself suddenly widowed at the age of only 29 with three young children. And we talked before the break about how your first inclination when you got that devastating phone call on the car ride to the hospital that your husband, who you'd spent half your life with, Was no longer alive. Your first go-to was to take your little children in that parking lot right there in the hospital, get down on your knees and take your sorrows honestly before the Lord. The title of your book, as we mentioned in the first segment, is And She Got Up. And we talked about how the Lord, He didn't leave you there.

He didn't walk away and say, fend for yourself in the valley. He little by little gave you victory in that valley. Can you talk to us not only about? the significance of and she got up. But what that looked like for you in those earliest days and months.

after Andrew's passing. Uh-huh. I think a lot of times we feel like victory is this arrival place on top of the mountain where we raise, you know, our flag and we're like, we made it. And what I discovered was that over these years of intense grief, and I like to call it the messy middle, because It really is messy. There's parts of it, it's.

Dead. You can't explain, you can't, there's no answers for, there's no blueprint, there's no guidebook. But yet, you are just relying on the nearness and presence of God through His Word to lead you and guide you, and that He did. It was messy, but what I found out is that I experienced Over time. And this book is not written out of just a quick fix or an overnight Good idea.

This book is written over a decade of walking through the fire and really tasting and seeing that God is good and letting Him lead me by the hand. And that he did. And what I found out. On the other side of it, I could look back and I could remember and recall every day and every moment that the Lord led me. Through the valley, and it really became the place of victory for me.

And it wasn't like I conquered it, I got on this, you know. mountain and raise my flag and it wasn't that it was some days it was crawling and just um believing god that he was not done with my life and done writing my story and that's where i've really experienced what true victory looks like and how to walk in um walk by faith and trusting in god i took up this mantra of god i trust you and this is when you know when the when the dust had settled when everyone had moved on and the light wasn't turning green and there wasn't um It was just like I didn't know if there was a future. But God was Ever present in those moments. And the title didn't come to me. for for until a decade later, I knew and I wrestled with God that I was supposed to write this book.

And I, you know, went through the laundry list of I think you picked the wrong girl. God, I don't know if I have what it takes. You know, all the insecurities and inadequacies that we feel. But God was saying, I just want you to obey me. And so I woke up from a God dream on January 1st, 2023, and I knew that it was time to write this book and write down what I experienced.

And the title, and she got up. Is actually straight out of scripture.

So it comes from Matthew 9:25 when Jesus went into, so a lot of you may know it, it's the chapter that has the woman with the issue of blood. And she reaches out and Jesus heals her. On the way to, so he's doing one miracle as he's on the way. To doing another miracle. And this miracle was Jairus, who was a synagogue leader there in their town, in their community.

His daughter was dying. And so, just to give some context, it says: as Jesus was walking up to the house now to perform another miracle. It says that after the crowd had been put outside, he went in and he took the girl by the hand. And she got up. And when I read that, after a decade of walking so closely with Jesus, being on the brink of death that I didn't know if I was going to make it, but yet experiencing the breath of God, the presence of God, the nearness of God, and in so many different miraculous ways.

I I just kind of Sat there with my mouth open, and through those words out of scripture, just were highlighted and bold. And I was just thinking. And she got up. And I got up. I'm the she.

You're the she. The girl down the road is the she. The girl on the other side of the world who doesn't feel like she's worthy and that she's never going to come back from this awful tragedy. She's the she. And so, really, what that means is, and she got up, this is what's possible, not just for me.

But for every single one of us in the New Testament, Robbie, for you, and he got up, and she got up. When Jesus walked on this earth, that's what he did. And I've experienced that. And so to now get to share that hope and to know that there's no one and nothing too far gone for God to not resurrect, heal, and raise, and send them into a life of purpose and victory. He can do it for anyone.

And so I believe in it. I love to, you talk in your book, and you kind of touched on it here a little bit about how faith and fear don't go together. And you actually have two verses in here that I'm going to quote for our listeners. And the first is Isaiah 41:10. It says, Do not fear, for I am with you.

Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. And 2 Timothy 1, verse 7 says, God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. And, you know, I hear where You had some fears, even about and trepidations about writing your book.

But in addition to that, I can't think as a wife and a mom, I can't think of a greater fear than what you must have experienced. Walking into that hospital knowing that your husband, who you were one with for so long.

Now you're going to do life without him, and you've got these three little ones that you are entrusted with. I can't imagine a situation where. your spirit would be more tempted to fear. Than that. And yet, your book, and for those, whether you have walked through widowhood or not, this is an exceptional book to read because.

Courtney, you do such a good job of Helping us understand what those emotions are like, what it is like to actually walk in the steps of a widow. And yet you did get up. You said, Lord, I'm going to not only have faith. but I'm gonna walk my little ones. Through that, what did that look like for you in the years actually that you had before the Lord brought you?

A new spouse, you have another wonderful spouse now named John. But before the Lord did that, what did those years look like for you and how you taught your children? Faith over fear. Yeah, well I didn't do everything right. But I will say the one thing I did was just try to point them to Jesus, the love of Jesus, that he hadn't abandoned them, that he hadn't left them, that he was with us.

And I wanted my kids to know more than anything. that they had a perfect father. who was gonna take care of them. And one of the scriptures that I held on to was Isaiah 54, 13, I believe. And it says, all your children will be taught by the Lord, and great will be your children's peace.

Hmm. And that scripture held me through some really dark times when I felt overwhelmed, outmatched. God was saying, hey, I'm gonna fill in the gaps with my grace. I'm gonna step in with my provision and care, and I'm gonna be actually their perfect father, not just another version of their earthly father, but their perfect father. And I'm gonna provide for them and fight for them, and great will be their peace.

So, for me, walking through all of a sudden now being a single mom, something I'd never in a million years thought I would walk through. you know, I I felt like that was just, you know, we were kind of living this story that only happened to other people, but now all of a sudden we're in that space. And But I I knew that if I kept Surrendering and loving, you know, releasing my children to God, that He would not only lead me in how to parent them. he would also step in. in ways that I could not even dare.

Even try, you know, to do because I we as humans cannot. fulfill the needs that only Jesus can. And so. Um I watched him supernaturally send uh people That were godly men into their lives, be it through our church community or even school community. People that really were helped would help to call the kids up.

You know, my boys would wrestle with them or play ball with them or take them to. ball games or whatever it was and people that would speak life into my daughter and I it just It was one of those things as much as I just The more I kept releasing them and saying, God, they're yours. I need you to do what I cannot do. The more that I saw him step in. And that's just living a life of choosing to walk by faith and not by sight.

It's choosing to activate those steps of trust and faith so that we don't succumb to fear. Because at any given moment, we're tempted to. You know, are we gonna be paralyzed by this fear? Or are we going to continue to step out on the promises of God? Going back to the title, which I Just a door.

It's fascinating to me that you're not saying what Jesus said to her. What you're saying is He took her by the hand, and you made that very specific. What was it like for you? That's a physical thing. That isn't like something that you're hearing in your spirit or something.

You're making a reference to Jesus literally took you by the hand. What was that experience to have Jesus take you by the hand? Yeah. He Different from the girl Who was dying? He went in and took her by the hand, and she got up immediately.

For me, it was. Years of getting up truly and knowing that I was that God had more life ahead for me, that He was doing something far greater than I could imagine. But for me, what that looked like is: here's the thing: a touch from Jesus changes everything. And it began that moment. where I was left alone on this earth.

That moment when I relied on God's presence and who He was. to hold me, to hold my babies. That was really the moment that It was like, okay, we are really out on the fringes of desperation and have nothing left.

So, this is where the presence of God became real and palpable. And I'm just saying, I would not be here. I really believe that I would not be here if it wasn't for. A touch. From God.

And there's, you know, throughout the book, there are very specific things that we can't really get into here on the podcast. But it really is a first-hand account of what that looks like for Jesus. Really, to this outreached hand, you know, to be clasped into yours and what it really looks like. To get up, and getting up doesn't mean you're not going to have hardships anymore, it doesn't mean you're going to have to live this life without pain or you're never going to get knocked down again. Getting up is Something that only God can do.

There's not enough self-help books in the world to really enable us to stand. On the solid rock of Jesus, and yes, life will be hard. Yes, we're going to encounter many, many things that we feel like we're being knocked down, but it was truly that anchor in the darkest night where. I got up by God's power alone. Yeah, I, and it's remarkable.

Tying into what you were saying, too, because those that are listening on the radio, join us for the remainder of this episode on our podcast. You can listen wherever you listen to podcasts, or you can join us on YouTube at Hope in the Morning Backstage. But I just wanted to say something else that you mentioned here: your calling is where your pain intersects with your purpose. And that doesn't minimize your pain, but it maximizes life beyond the pain.

So, Courtney, going forward, I want to touch on one more thing before we talk about. How the Lord not only brought new love and a purpose, a ministry purpose to your life, but you said something that I found a comfort, and I think our listeners would too. I loved when here you're newly widowed. I think you said this was in December that you went to that, you went to that concert, that worship. that worship concert.

And you talked about how here you're worshiping Jesus, and you were thinking about how Andrew is at the throne of God worshiping Jesus. And so here you are, you said, worshiping alongside him, two places, one time, same God. And I thought that's such an incredible An incredible analogy. Because it's true. And even even in Our earthly marriages, that's how we draw closest to one another, right?

Is by drawing close to the Lord. But what a comfort for our hearts to know that we can engage in that same, we can engage in the same activity of worship. still and eventually it will be perfected when we're in heaven but it's something that we get to do. together. What was that experience like for you?

Oh my goodness. I mean, it was the most powerful, life-giving thing to know that in this deep grief I was sitting in. That all of a sudden like I know according to Scripture. That Andrew was more alive than he had ever been. And because of that, He was now worshiping Jesus face to face.

And so I can remember. And I've always, so I led worship alongside of Andrew. I'm a worshiper at heart. I can remember my worship really just moving to that next level. The veil got so thin between heaven and earth, and it felt like.

That all of a sudden we were doing the same thing at the same time, just in different places. And it's like I felt like I had one foot planted on Earth, but one foot. an eternity. And it was just this strange reality of Of the magnitude of God and the beauty of Jesus that he had. He he still had Andrew.

And Andrew was good, but he also still had me on this dusty, broken earth. Hmm. Going back to the title, I can't help it. It's too good. that when you describe Um what that was like.

to actually take Jesus by the hand. And it It's a hard thing to describe.

However, I uh and see if you could see a bit of what I'm referring to.

So I actually had cancer. Uh supposed to Take my life didn't. And I finished my last chemotherapy treatment, and my wife and I went to celebrate that. At a Jeep Jamboree, at which I got crushed between two Jeeps in that Jeep Jamboree, the last day of it, and almost. lost my left leg.

And when They were pulling the Jeeps off of me. Yeah. I remember I cried out. I said, you know, I just thought, I was like, Jesus, it wasn't a long prayer, it was just like, Similar to your experience on the concrete, because I can remember so many details about the crushing that happened in this moment. But what I've told people forever Is I got a god hook?

It was a Jesus hug. It was like he put his arms around me in a way that I know. that you can only hurt so bad that he doesn't intervene. Mm. And when he did, It was like...

In spite of the fact that I was in terrible physical trouble at that moment in time, I was good. And I can remember the guy standing over the top of me. He was screaming, like, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, you know, like that. And I looked up at him because I was fine. You know, and I was like, so dude, how's your insurance?

And it totally, because there were tons of people standing around, but it totally calmed the moment and whatever. Oh. But it was what you described when you said he had your hand. It was like... All of a sudden, none of the stuff that should be crushing me emotionally or physically.

was crushing me because As you described, in his presence is fullness of joy. At his right hand are pleasures forevermore, right? That's the dance. Mm. That's it.

So beautiful. You also said as we transition to how God redeemed these years for you, I thought this was so neat. You said that good gifts don't cancel out the grief, but they do enhance the gratitude. And I think even with both of those testimonies, That's what you guys remember right now. You know, you remember how the Lord came by your side.

And that's why we shared these testimonies on Hope in the Morning because sometimes, sometimes, especially when you're newly in that valley, it feels like. I'm never going to get out of here. All I can see is darkness all around. But when you hear the testimonies like yours, Courtney, or even like you just said, Robbie. It gives that hope.

for people that are listening to say, okay. God never changes, right? He is the same God yesterday, today, and forevermore. And so if God has been faithful to Courtney, He'll be faithful to me. And we can keep walking this path.

And it doesn't mean It doesn't mean that the grief is not there. And that's something for our listeners, many people. Have actually not experienced a ton of sorrow in their life. But again, the reason why we wrote Hope in the Morning and the reason why we have Hope in the Morning podcast is because we want people. in the church especially, to grow in Christ-like compassion.

from one another. And Courtney, when you come on and you vulnerably share your testimony, what those moments were like riding in the van, when you don't hide. the anger that you felt when Angela was driving you home. That that is like like mana in the desert. For people that are in that desert place, they think, okay, the Lord will be faithful.

So, what were some of the ways that? Your Grief. actually enhanced your gratitude throughout these past You know. 10 plus years since Andrew has gone to be with the Lord.

Well, it's hard to know true joy. Unless you've experienced sorrow. Because once you've experienced sorrow, You understand. what true joy means. And so You know, it I I didn't know if I would ever see life in color again.

I didn't know if I would be able to genuinely laugh again and sing and enjoy life. I mean it it was something that I needed to know was possible and The Lord Did that for me. He brought the color back to life and not only back to what it was, because when God restores something, he doesn't just make it. like what it was. He restores and makes it even better.

And I can say that. Not that I don't miss Andrew still every day. I still miss him. We still walk through grief with each new milestone. And there's still this loss.

But God doesn't, in scripture, it says that he will restore what the locusts have eaten. And as far as it depends on us and losing when we lose a person. God doesn't replace a person, but he can and does restore a loss. And those good gifts that he's brought out of the ashes, out of this life that I thought was dead and done and gone, he has resurrected so much life from it. And I've gotten to be a first-hand.

Recipient of these promises of God that He's still continuing to restore every single day. I do have a precious new husband who now we've been married almost a decade and we um I didn't think I wanted to get remarried or ever thought that I could open up to love again. But God had other plans and I just kept saying, God, I trust you. And this whole journey, it wasn't about the thing. It was about encountering the goodness of God and being open to whatever he wanted my life to look like.

And so that was part of it.

So, getting remarried wasn't just like, okay, all of a sudden I'm ready. It was a long process of me opening back up and really saying, okay, God, you brought this man in my life. I'm going to trust you the same trust that I had when I buried. Andrew, is the same trust I have for you with my life now that you do you do have good plans for my life, plans to prosper us, not to harm us, to give us a hope in a future. And so, you know, John was one of those beautiful gifts.

And then out of that, we had our son Asher. And Asher is just this tangible reminder every day that there is always more with God, that He's never done writing your story, that the plans that we have in our mind for our lives are so small compared to the beautiful plans we can't even fathom that God has in store for our lives. Wow. And I think about. John's situation, you know Like you're falling in love with this girl who was married to the love of her life that she knew I I'm very curious.

How you felt John handled your heart well under the circumstances? Because he was in a really. difficult position and so how how did he handle your heart well in that time? John was so patient. And he was.

Okay, to go very slow because I needed slow. And I was in no place to just rush into it. But he was He was okay with that. And if you, when you read in the book, you'll kind of see how. How God prepared me, and how God prepared him, and how what that looked like because.

I knew that if God did have someone for me to spend the rest of my life with. that he was gonna prepare him for This very unique thing because you know, I would think who's going to want someone with three kids and an instant family, and but God. Can do the impossible. And so he was preparing John. And John was so patient and so slow, and was really, you know, he knew that he was going to be my husband, but before I knew that he was the one.

Does that make sense?

So he knew before me, which he needed to. But God really tailor-made him for our family and prepared him in ways that only he could. And again, there's so many specifics that we don't even have time to jump into. But I I knew that if it was gonna happen. It would have to be Something that only God could do, and that we saw, and so.

you know what I learned very quickly was Into going into a second marriage was that you don't just pick up where you left off. Like, God is doing a new thing.

So, we were starting, you know, at ground zero, but there was grace for that. There was just this mysteriously beautiful grace over our now blended family. And the version of John and me on this side. Was a great fit, just like the version of me before all this tragedy that Andrew and I were a good fit then. John was a good fit for me now.

And so it was really beautiful getting a front row seat. To again, this life I didn't plan, this life that um. You know, I I didn't know if there was going to be anything good left for me. But God. has proved himself faithful and true and um I'm just so grateful.

I mean, not only has God still had good things for you, but I think it's beautiful how He's taken your testimony and you, out of faith, have said, You surrendered it. Lord, this testimony is yours to do with what you will. And even you talk about how you went and spoke to a widow's group, a friend of yours headed up a widow's ministry, and they had you speak there. And, you know, it dawned on me that. It was almost like Like you're Hardship that the Lord brought you through.

Awakened this beautiful empathy and compassion inside of your own heart, and you even say in your book, you say, suddenly it was like. I saw hurting people. And oftentimes Suffering sends us into serving. It opens our eyes to the needs and the heartaches of those around us. How has the Lord used your suffering?

to send you into serving. Mm. He has brought so much purpose through my devastation, and in my devastation. has really sent me into my destiny. And it's such a wild thing that my surrender before Andrew died.

Again, you can read about it in the book. I said yes. To whatever it was that God was doing, I felt this stirring and this calling to give my life away for the sake of the gospel, really. And there was this stirring, this thing I could not run away from. And so my response was surrender.

And that would just look like every day, me saying, God, my life is yours. And here I am, I surrender. Whatever it is you want to do. Here I am. And it was three months to the day after this encounter with the Lord that I got the phone call that I did everything.

And then, you know, it was over a decade that went by now that this book is in people's hands. But the point of that. is really to show that the greatest Places of suffering in our lives. Are the greatest places of impact. God does not just want us to keep it to ourselves.

What we go through. You know, we get to then testify to and turn around as a whole totally different person. I'm not the same Courtney I was before I walked through the fire. And I thank God for that. That's such a mysterious thing that we go through in suffering that I'm so grateful for that I'm not the same person.

However, my surrender is the very same. Nothing about my surrender has changed. But I've changed. I've changed the way I see people. I've changed the way that I respond to circumstances, to the word of God.

And I just want to encourage anyone that is feeling like they. That this is the end of their life as they know it, that the suffering, that they're never gonna be able to come up for air, that God, you know, has overlooked you or forgotten you. That's just not the truth. You just stay anchored in the Word of God, stay close to Him and let Him lead you and guide you because He can do more in a moment than we could do in a lifetime. And so when we surrender to Him, There is no devastation that is beyond the reach of us walking in the fullness of our destiny.

Mm. Courtney, your book, as I've said already, I hope that every listener that is listening to your episode today, really man or woman, widow, married, whatever it may be, that they will pick up a copy of your book because I think that not only will they be encouraged to read it, but I hope that they feel called. To be the hands and feet of Jesus, to be that comfort to the orphans and the widows.

So I'm gonna show a picture here. Can you tell us where people can buy your book? Yeah, you can buy it wherever books are sold. You can go to courtneyprayduke.com and there's all of the icons to click on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Books a Million. There's lots of options.

And the audiobook is, I will have to say, that was a life-changing experience for me to not only live it. And then spend years writing it, but then to record it for the audio book was. was incredible.

So I would just recommend that if you are reading it and you've got to put it down to go and run errands or whatever, to get the audiobook as well so that you can continue reading the story without a break. But there's a lot of emotion. I'll just prepare you. But yes, you can get it wherever books or audiobooks are sold. If this is a book that you want to give to somebody that is newly widowed, I would actually recommend that you consider sending the audiobook.

My mom was newly widowed just a year ago, and I've spoken to a lot of widows. And a lot of times, I don't know if this was true for you, Courtney, but a lot of times. You're not in a good headspace. Reading like a physical book is actually quite a challenge. Very true.

But being able to process an audio book and not only that, but in your own voice, Courtney, to hear another widow, there's a unique comfort like 2 Corinthians talks about. It's literally like our theme verse here. You know, 2 Corinthians, when it talks about being comforted by the God of all comfort, so that we can comfort others with the comfort with which we have been comforted. That's what they're going to get when they hear your book.

So, Courtney, thank you so much for coming on today. And I hope that Courtney's testimony has encouraged your heart today. If you know a widow or children who've lost a parent, step gently into their sorrow. Be the hands and feet of Jesus. Be willing to sit with them and walk beside them and remind them that it's okay to cry and it's also okay to laugh again.

be a safe place where their grief can rest. And if you're a widow listening today, take heart. The same God who took the little girl by the hand in Matthew 9:25 and raised her to life, the same God that you hear in Courtney's testimony. is still the God who brings life out of death. He sees every tear, he holds every broken place, and he will not abandon you.

In his hands even the deepest sorrow is not wasted.

So Courtney, thank you so much for joining us today on Hope In the Morning. Thank you. Hope in the Morning is a non-profit ministry that seeks to encourage the hurting. equip those who walk beside them, and evangelize the lost with the hope of Jesus Christ. to partner with our ministry or to make a donation in your loved one's honor.

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