This Faith in Finance podcast is underwritten in part by Movement Mortgage. Movement provides residential home loans in all 50 states. Founded in 2008, amidst one of the biggest financial meltdowns in American history, Movement set forth on a mission to create a movement of change in their industry and in communities. Learn more at movement.com/slash faith. Movement Mortgage LLC supports equal housing opportunity, NMLS number 39179.
For licensing information, please visit NMLSconsumerAccess.org. Losing a spouse can shake every part of life, but God promises to walk with you through each next step. I am Rob West. When loss turns life upside down, even simple financial decisions can feel overwhelming. But with God's help and a few practical steps forward, there is hope and healing ahead.
Today, Valerie Hogan joins us to share guidance for navigating the financial journey after losing a spouse. And then it's on to your calls at 800-525-7000. That's 800-525-7000. This is Faith in Finance, biblical wisdom for your financial decisions.
Well, it's always a pleasure to have my friend Valerie Hogan with us. She's an attorney, a certified financial planner, and a big part of Kingdom Advisors. Valerie has written a powerful and practical article for the latest issue of our Faithful Steward magazine titled Financial Next Steps After Losing a Spouse. Valerie, welcome back to the program. Great to be back with you, Rob.
Thank you. Valerie, your article opens with a powerful acknowledgement of the grief that comes from losing a spouse. Why do you think it's important to begin in that moment? Yeah, I've seen the grief colors everything. It's really difficult to separate financial decisions with emotional pain.
So it can be. It can be staggering. It can almost send a person into a bit of a shell shock.
So it's very difficult. We need to be pretty focused and purposeful when we're making financial decisions.
So it's just very difficult with that. Yeah, no doubt about it. Your mother, Miriam Neff, who's been on this program many times, started a ministry for widows after her own experience. What has that taught you about how grief and money often intertwine? Yeah.
So that ministry she began twenty years ago. It's hard to believe that it's been that long now. But she really had she had a background in counseling, and so she was kind of an expert in walking folks through grief. But she noted that right on the heels of grief, And shock for widows came a lot of financial confusion, financial loss, possibly. Other issues could be that maybe they had a gain or became an owner of part of a company, but were just.
You know, kind of thrown into some of these things often, and there was just a lot of confusion around that. Oh, I can imagine. You point out that women typically experience widowhood sooner and with less financial security.
So that, of course, has a big impact on the choices they face in that season, right? Yes, statistically, their savings have to last longer. Women typically, on average, end up in a less advantageous position after widowhood.
So they really need to focus on those decisions and make careful. decisions and those early decisions can determine their financial stability ongoing for a very long time.
So just when health and other costs and some tax advantages drop off, they're thrown into making some of these decisions in those years.
So it just can be a real difficult time. Yeah.
And although they care about the financial decisions deeply, often many women were left out of the financial decision making. That's not always the case, but it it is the case in so many of these situations, right? Yeah, statistically we've seen that over and over again. You know, again, not to speak out or generalize too much, but just statistically, especially with former kind of earlier generations, we saw that pretty often and we were just seeing that over and over again. And it really had bad repercussions when suddenly she finds herself having to navigate that on her own.
Yeah.
Well, we want to give widows some help today, and I'm so thankful that you wrote this article. We're going to talk about the first ten steps for widows to take. And why don't you begin by sharing the guiding principle that stands at the heart of those steps? Yeah, the guiding principle would be that God owns it all. And so we're stewarding for him.
And so we start and end with that. He's with us as we make these decisions.
So, we just want to kind of start with that in mind. It makes us a more careful, I think, and purposeful steward.
So, that would be kind of the framework that we walk into these decisions through. Then we just start one step at a time. That's very helpful.
Well, just after the break, we're going to unpack these first 10 steps for widows to take after losing a spouse. By the way, this insightful and really thoughtful article that Valerie has written is a featured article in our latest Faithful Stewart magazine. If you'd like to receive this quarterly magazine, just go to faithfie.com slash partner to learn more. That's faithfi.com. Valerie Hogan's here today and much more to come just around the corner.
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I'm Rob West. With me today, Valerie Hogan. Valerie's an attorney, a certified financial planner, and a member of Kingdom Advisors. She and her mom have worked in an incredible ministry called Widow Connection Ministry for many years, serving widows, teaching and speaking and writing on this topic. Valerie was the author of a new feature article in our latest edition of Faithful Stewart, our magazine, titled Financial Next Steps After Losing a Spouse.
And you shared a powerful statistic before the break, Valerie. What is the percentage of women that will outlive their husbands? Yeah, it's 80%.
So 80% of the time, we like to say he will graduate before she does to have. And so, women are then in the decision-making role of managing the money God has entrusted to them: the giving, the investing, the daily budget. That can bring a lot of stress at a very already difficult time.
So, let's talk about these first 10 steps for widows to take. Begin to unpack those for us. Yeah, I think the first one is really to just get a little bit of peace around it's okay to take one step at a time. Don't try to fix everything overnight or right away. There can be a sense of urgency back and forth, either a sense of shock, don't want to take any steps to, uh-oh, I better fix everything right now.
You know, folks can try to be helpful around, but be encouraging/slash pushing a person to make decisions. And I would say, and you know, with that number one is unless you really have to make a drastic change. Change, you know, if it's required, it's required. But if you don't have to do that, I think it's better to just take time. I think that's well said.
Is there a general rule of thumb you recommend, six months or a year? I think folks just deal with shock and loss so differently that there's really not a and there's times when and I saw this with my mom there's times when there will be clarity and you can move forward. And then other times were not. I watched my mom walk into a bank and sign her name Miriam J. Miriam.
And this is a brilliant woman. And I thought, okay, that's just. Know, can we have another paper, please? We're gonna need to do that another time or, you know, try that again.
So I think having grace. with yourself and realizing it's it's really not worth it to just Hurry up when it's not necessary. That is so helpful. What's next? I would say just like with the hurrying on steps, that if there are big financial moves, I would also wait till some of the emotions.
can come out of that. I've just seen folks feel like they need to move houses right away. They need to just make large financial moves. And I think that that's very difficult with the stirring emotions, especially of grief and all the stages of grief. You know, do you really want to be making a big financial move when you're in the stage of anger or something like that?
I would just try to separate and get good data and just let the emotions settle a little bit before you're making very large moves. Another then would be. Try to stay organized. um you know track the spending lean on trusted advisors so The staying organized, I have seen, and we've seen that pervasively with the Widow Connection and Wise Women Managing Money ministries, is that when you're in loss, we've seen ladies over and over again say, My dining room table is just piled. I don't have what it takes to address that, especially if there was not much interaction with that.
During marriage.
So now they're facing kind of a mountain of financial documents and bills. And so just taking one step at a time, finding a place where those things can be stored, maybe getting help from friends and trusted folks that can help you weed through those documents and organize them because it doesn't get better. Right. Until you can get organized, but it's very difficult. That's good.
Um The other is to just track where things are going to the extent that you can. And again, having grace, but leaning on trusted advisors. And I think. You know, there are further steps where we can unpack that more, but I would just emphasize the word here as trusted. Those folks really need to be looking out for her best interest.
And then that progress happens through consistency. It's that one step at a time. Not to hurry, but if you can set a pattern to say, wow, this is really difficult, maybe feeling depressed, maybe really hard to face this, but. Set a pattern. I will do one thing a day regarding this, or that can really add up over time.
So I think that would be helpful. And then just anchor everything in prayer. And he cares so, so much about when his people are hurting. And so, you know, enlist the best help you can get, which is going to be through prayer. That's exactly right.
I love one of the steps you share, and that is to form what you call a personal board of directors. Talk about what that looks like. Yeah.
I think this is surrounding self with people that can advise you in a lot of different areas and key areas of your life.
So it's your own personal board of directors. And I would say that figuratively, maybe not literally, but it can be. You want to look for folks that have all different kinds of skills and expertise, like spiritual maturity, financial understanding. And I would add to that demonstrated practice of that financial understanding, humility. The right professionals, encouragers, wise friends.
So, in the different areas that you might be, you know, needing help and advice.
So, you may have a friend that is wonderfully encouraging, but if they have 23 maxed-out credit cards, that is not the best person to be asking about financial advice. They would be in the encouragement bucket over there. And that's really why it's good to lean on folks that have that area of expertise or have really mastered that in their own life to speak wisdom into yours. That is a great advice.
Now in your book, Wise Women Managing Money, you and your mom used this phrase that I love, know it, own it, like it, change it. Talk about that idea and share that with our listeners. Yeah, I think those are really the steps to go through, get your arms around what is reality, and then accept responsibility. You know, know it is get a clear picture of what's going on. You need to know what you own and what you owe.
And so have a snapshot of that. And that could take a while to collect up, especially after a spouse passes.
So get to know the whole picture. And then that is now your picture. You're the one running the baton to the finish line here.
So you want to own that. And wherever it's at, good, bad, or ugly, that's your starting point. And then you can decide: do I like this or do I want to change this?
So it's the mindset of stewarding. You're now at the helm of stewarding that and blend that with responsibility. But at the same time, you know, give yourself grace. God certainly does. And then small, steady changes can help gain confidence, you know, get victory over maybe just knowing it.
You know, check that box, feel great about that, and then move kind of down the line. Valerie, you close the article with a message of hope. We've got just about 30 seconds left. For somebody who's listening right now who's lost a spouse, what would you say? I would say there are brighter days ahead, and that can feel so distant and like it will never happen.
But I've just seen it over and over. My mom and I together have come around hundreds of women in this situation. God will give wisdom and strength, and many widows go on to flourish and even help others. That is so well said. Valerie, we so appreciate your time and your contribution through this article.
Lord bless you. Thank you, Rob. Folks, if you've lost a spouse, remember this: you don't have to do everything today, just take the next Faithful step and don't walk that road alone. By the way, if you want to read this article, learn more about our partner program at faithfy.com slash partner. Your calls are next, 800-525-7000.
Back with more after this. Stick around. Are you a financial professional looking to grow your practice while offering advice that aligns with your Christian values? By becoming a Certified Kingdom Advisor, you'll gain the biblical wisdom and professional credibility to serve clients who are seeking faith-based financial guidance. Each year, more than 75,000 people search for a certified kingdom advisor.
Join our community and share your expertise with clients looking for someone who shares their faith and values. Start your journey today by going to kingdomadvisors.com/slash get certified. We're grateful for support from Movement Mortgage, who provides residential home loans in all 50 states. Guided by a mission to love and value people and a goal to redefine the mortgage process, Movement seeks to help others achieve their financial goals. You can find out more at movement.com/slash faith.
Movement Mortgage LLC supports equal housing opportunity, NMLS, number 39179. For licensing information, please visit NMLSconsumerAccess.org. Hey, great to have you with us today. If you'd like to find an advisor, a financial professional, somebody to help you with financial planning or wealth management, But to ensure that they operate from a biblical worldview, they share your values as a Christ follower. They've met significant standards and character and integrity and experience, pastor reference, and client reference.
Well, that's the Certified Kingdom Advisor designation. It's the only financial services industry designation that is around and offers financial advisors who can bring a biblical perspective of financial decision making. And you can find a CKA in your area. Just head to findaceka.com. Can't be any easier than that.
Findaceka.com. You can put in your zip code and see all the professionals in your area. All right, let's hit to the phones. Rhonda in South Carolina. Rhonda, go ahead.
Um hi, how are you? Great. Thanks for calling. I had a friend who told me that they only will tip ten percent when they go out to restaurants because they don't want to give righteous a righteous more than they give to God.
So now whenever I go out, I think about that. Am I handling it wrong or how should you think about that biblically? Yeah, I think that mindset confuses two very different acts, tithing and tipping, and really perhaps, you know, is a misunderstanding of both God's heart and generosity.
So tithing is an act of worship and trust toward God, acknowledging that everything we have belongs to him, not 10%, 100%. We see that in Deuteronomy 14, 23, among other places.
So it's not a payment or a transaction, but a spiritual discipline expressing gratitude and dependence. Tipping, on the other hand, is showing appreciation for someone's service and really contributing to their livelihood.
So I think limiting generosity toward others out of a comparison to what we, quote, give God turns giving into more of a competition rather than an overflow of love. Jesus calls us to treat. Others with compassion and generosity. And when we give to a server, we're not worshiping them. Of course, we're honoring God by being kind and just and generous toward his image-bearer.
You know, Jesus never rebuked people for being too generous. You know, we see a classic story in God's word would be when Zacchaeus repented. You remember, he went far beyond what the law required, giving half his possessions to the poor and repaying four times what he had taken. And Jesus didn't correct him. He rejoiced, saying, Today, salvation has come to this house.
So I think true generosity reflects a transformed heart. And scripture actually says that when we give to others, we're in fact giving to God. You can see that in Matthew 25:20.
So, you know, at the end of the day, we can't out-give God. And the tithe is not a ceiling on generosity, but I think a starting point. for a life of open handed stewardship. And so I think at the end of the day, you know, you giving a tithe as the beginning point for your giving to God and then giving beyond that. Offerings and even sacrificial giving as the Lord leads is separate from your tipping.
And I think, you know, today, 20%, certainly 15% at a minimum for good service is really normal and customary and is a way we can honor those who serve us well and again, contribute to their livelihood. And I would have no problem. In fact, I would encourage that personally. Is that helpful, though? That is very helpful thank you so much All right.
Lord bless you. Thank you for calling, Rhonda. 800-525-7000 is the number to call. We've got some lines open today. We'd love to tackle your financial question.
Again, any question today, 800-525-7000, our team is standing by. Let's go to Tampa. Hi, Naomi. How can I help you? Hi, first time caller.
Okay. A little nervous. Oh, don't be. We're delighted you're here today.
Okay, thank you for having me. My question is, I recently formed a trust. Um I own two properties. One is paid off and one is not.
So both of those property is in the same name as my deed.
So my question is, do I need to redead the ohms um You know, to be a part of the trust, or since they're both in my name and if Hmm. Yeah, good question.
So, if the trust and the name on the deed are already the same, the key is understanding how the title is held.
So even if the names match, the property has to be deeded into the name of the trust itself, not just share the same name as the trustee or the owner.
So here's what that means. If the deed is currently listed in your name personally, you know, I'll use a fictitious name, Jane Smith. But the trust is called the Jane Smith Living Trust. Jane still needs to redeed the property, so the owner is shown as Jane Smith, trustee of the Jane Smith Living Trust with the date. That's what legally transfers ownership from her individually into the trust.
Now, if you already did that when you formed the trust, then you're covered. But if the deed still lists you as the individual owner, Even though you, as the individual, are the same name as the name on the trust. that's not enough. You would need to contact your title company or a state attorney to record a new quick claim or warranty deed, transferring it into the trust itself. Not just having a shared name, if that makes sense.
Okay, yes, thank you. Cover my question.
Okay, very good. Let me say it's always good to get legal counsel. And so that's why I think reaching out to that estate attorney or a real estate attorney is good. I am not an attorney, but just generally speaking, it's not enough to have the same personal name on the deed as the name represented in the trust. We actually need to transfer the ownership from you individually to the trust itself.
In order for the trust documents to govern the distribution of this property at the appropriate time. Thank you for your call today. I think that's a good move that you made. That's going to make things really simple and efficient. At your passing, or if you become incapacitated and not involve any probate costs or time at your death, thank you for calling today.
Well, folks, that's why we do what we do here on the program each day. This is important stuff, not because I have a lot of brilliant ideas, but because God's Word does, and you and I have been tasked. With a really important job, responsibility, and that is to manage or steward the King of Kings resources. Let's get that right. Let's do that together.
And we gather together each day on this program to do that because we know. Doesn't belong to us, it belongs to him. And our goal is faithfulness, long obedience in the same direction in every area of life, but also certainly that includes this area of money management. Hey, if you'd like to support our work here, it'd be a real blessing if you became a Faith Phy partner. Those are those that come alongside us every month, $35 or more.
It's huge. If you've found benefit in this ministry and this program, becoming a partner would be a real blessing to us. FaithFi.com, click give. We'll send you pre-release copies of studies and devotionals and our new quarterly publication, Faithful Steward. Thanks to Devin, Sandy, and Jim.
Have a wonderful day and come back and join us next time. We'll see you then. Bye-bye. Faith in Finance is provided by FaithFi and listeners like you.
