8 Habits of Wise Women Managing Money with Miriam Neff

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You can choose from one of three options, depending on your management style, and it's available on desktop or mobile. Go to faithfi.com and click App to get started. In Matthew 6 21, Jesus says, For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

Hi, I'm Rob West. That teaching is true for everyone, and yet men and women have different perspectives on money. So how do wise women manage the resources God entrusts to them? Miriam Neff is here to talk about that today, and then it's on to your calls at 800-525-7000.

That's 800-525-7000. This is Faith and Finance, biblical wisdom for your financial decisions. Well, it's indeed a pleasure to have Miriam Neff back on the program. She's the founder and president of Widow Connection, a ministry dedicated to helping women overcome and thrive after the loss of a husband.

She's also co-author with her daughter, Valerie Neff Hogan, of Wise Women Managing Money. Miriam, a delight to have you with us today. It's good to be with you, Rob. What you're doing is so important. First of all, it's biblical wisdom, so it's sound. But the other thing is, having the Q&A, people get to call in and address specific things.

I mean, not only is it priceless, you pay big bucks to get this kind of really expert advice. Well, thank you. You're one of our biggest fans, and we're grateful because we think so highly of you and Valerie and the work you're doing at Widow Connection.

So I always look forward to having you on the program. You know, Miriam, your book is a great resource for women in general, but especially for those who may suddenly find themselves having to manage the household finances. And you've identified eight habits of wise women who've been thrust into that role.

Now, these are habits that anyone can establish if they're willing to put in the time, right? Oh, that's right. And just a little statistic. Most women in the United States are single. There are also a lot of single moms, widows, but every woman should know and understand finances. We oversee 51% of the wealth in the United States now, and that is growing, and we're talking about women here. So we are capable for sure because God has created us. Whether he's entrusted us with a large amount or small, he has entrusted us, which means he's going to help us. The key, and it's most important, know your why, because it's all God's. I love that.

Know your why. I think that's great advice. And you're exactly right about this growing amount of wealth in the hands of women. We know that as this somewhere between $30 and $60 trillion changes hands between now and 2030, well, a large portion of that will be in the hands of women. We hear from them all the time, as you know, Miriam, on the broadcast. So I'm delighted we can give them some help and encouragement today.

I know we've got a lot of ground to cover, so let's dive in. What's the first habit of wise women managing money? Well, we acknowledge that all we have is God's own loan to us to steward. So some people listening may say, well, I have a 401K or I have an IRA. Is that what we're talking about, those investments?

Well, the word is all we have. So in other words, our income, are we spending it wisely or is it a bunch of it going to credit card debt? What about housing?

Are we taking care of it, keeping it in good repair? Car or transportation, making wise choices, even wardrobe? So we think it's all God's, but let's realize that word all means everything, every bit of it.

So it's the big stuff and the small stuff and everything in between. You're exactly right, and that leads us to number two, which is around taking responsibility to know our finances. Why is that important for wise women managing money? Well, we pay attention to things that need repair. We pay attention to the things that we're lacking we need to get.

We should spend more time than ever on knowing our finances. And I simplify the eight to four, know it, own it, like it or change it. We write it down. And Bob and I did paper and pencil.

My family members do spreadsheets in their marriages, but you keep a record of it. And we can't be distracted by saying, oh, my teenagers need too much stuff or my parents didn't teach us this. It is our responsibility. We're going to stand before God alone. And the most important topic is love. How did we love others? But the second most important topic in the Bible is our stuff.

Yes, that's exactly right. Well, these are two key points to get us started on that second one around taking responsibility for our finances. You don't have to go it alone. We're here to help you at faith and finance. There's Widow Connection, your local church and so many other resources. So get some help along the way. We're joined today by Miriam Neff.

She's the founder and president of Widow Connection. We're talking about the eight habits of wise women managing money back with much more just around the corner. Stick around. And investing. So why don't you grab your phone right now and download the faith by up?

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Check off the affordable box on your list and get back to what you really love running your business or caring for your kids and have peace of mind while doing it. Visit CH ministries dot org slash faith. To enroll today. I'm so thankful to have you with us today on faith and finance. It's a pleasure to welcome back to the broadcast today, Miriam Neff. She's a frequent contributor here. She's the founder and president of Widow Connection, a ministry dedicated to helping women overcome and thrive after the loss of a husband. She's also the co-author with her daughter, Valerie Neff Hogan, of Wise Women Managing Money. And today we're talking about the eight habits of wise women who've been thrust into this role of managing money. As Miriam said just before the break, more than 50 percent of wealth in the hands of women today. And that number is clearly growing. She said habit number one is that we have to acknowledge all we have is gods on loan to us as a steward.

That's a high calling. And then secondly, it's important for wise women managing money to take responsibility for knowing their finances, even if they've not spent a lot of time in that area and they can get help. Miriam, what's the next habit of wise women managing money? The next one is we create a spending plan based on our income and values. And I just want to say, Rob, this is hard because our culture gets it backwards. So if you want it, own it. You want that bigger house stretch, get as big a mortgage as you can, hope your income will go up to cover it and your bills will not go up. And just if you want those extra items of clothing, put it on the credit card.

Maybe you'll be able to pay for it later. That's what the culture says. And that's based on comparisons and wanting more. Biblically, our contentment is in the Lord. That's where our value is. We believe it's all His and we want to do it well. So we do not let the culture push us to make foolish choices. That's so helpful because we've got to start with our income, but what's even bigger than that is the second piece that you talked about and that is our values. What does it look like for wise women managing money to take a values inventory, Miriam, so that they know their values and they can apply that to their investment decisions?

Well, we have a chart for that in our book, and we have a chart that shows what recommendations there are for percentages that go to housing and all of that kind of thing. But as Christ followers, the first big piece of that pie to go out is to give to God. It's not really giving to Him. It's just acknowledging and dedicating to a biblical future.

I mean, eternity is forever. That's where we want to invest first. So that's where the values come in. So it's a good chart for you to look at in our book.

Yeah, very good. That's well said. All right, this next habit speaks to the quote that Larry Burkett would often say, and that is that every spending decision is a spiritual decision. What do you want to tell us about our hearts related to money management? Well, you started with the scripture, where your treasure is, there will your heart be. What do you look at first thing in the morning?

Do you look at where the markets are? Do you look at Facebook, or is our face in the Bible first? And if you want to know the status of one's heart, look at the calendar, the checkbook, the credit card.

It's staring right at us, because that's our behavior. And that's where earlier I said, know it, own it, like it, or change it. If you don't like what's staring back at you, if you say, God isn't pleased with this, this has me burning up money with credit card debt, then you change it. And I'm not saying if it's big steps you need to take, you start out successfully right out of the gate, but you start with little steps, and you get stewarding it responsibly. God notices, and then he helps us.

When he sees you put your foot in the water, he knows how to part the waters. That is so good and so helpful. All right, I think we're up to habit number five, Miriam, and this one has to do with excuses. What do you have for us here? Well, you can say, well, my spouse is a big spender, or my teenagers need to have the same kind of smartphones as their friends, or, oh, I wasn't feeling so good, I was discouraged, so I'm going to do a little retail therapy.

Hello, that's called retail sickness, so making excuses or saying it's somebody else, or, I mean, it's really hard, and talking to single parents and people who have some real struggles, it's really hard not to be pushed by emotion or fear. Like the Matthew 25 store that got one talent, he was captivated by fear and didn't earn anything with that one talent. So getting the emotions in line, we have a chapter on that, but we want to make sure that we own it ourselves. It's about what we're doing with what's entrusted to us. Yes, that's exactly right, and that really leads right into this sixth wise habit, which has to do with taking personal responsibility. Tell us about that.

Well, here's some temptations. As a parent, we may decide, oh, we need to kind of hand out stuff to our kids, or especially in divorce situations, to kind of earn favor of our kids, handing out to keep a relationship, or hoarding something to fill a void. These are financial actions that we have to take personal responsibility. We can't say, well, our circumstances made us do that. No, we're Christ followers.

We know our why. We want to honor Him, and He blesses us. And again, I can just promise anyone listening, when you take that first small step to say, God, I want to honor you with my finances, He steps in and does some amazing things.

Yes, He sure does. And I'm so glad you have this next one on the list of habits, because this is not about setting it and forgetting it, is it? Oh, absolutely not. Think of what's happening today with inflation. If you had a budget a year ago, today it would be busted.

And I'm saying that from my location, but it's happening all over our country. And one of the principles is you have three to six months savings set aside available for emergencies. Well, anymore, they say the only things you can count on are death and taxes. Well, now I'm thinking you can also count on change. And you can also count on something happening. The car that breaks down, the thermostat that doesn't work. I mean, these things are guaranteed to happen. I don't know when. So that's why we have to keep revisiting. With inflation, you pare down things so that you make sure you have that three to six month reserve. It's just vital. Yes, it sure is. Well, we've saved the best one for last.

We have about a minute left. I know this one is really near and dear to your heart, and it has to do with investing for kingdom purposes. Tell us about the eighth habit. Well, I just have to say for me, it's personal. I invest in global projects and poor areas and widows learn a saleable skill, and then they know that they were able to learn that because God loved this one woman. So that's an investment in eternity. Now, does everybody do it that way? No, and I'm not saying I'm a great example, but pick that thing that you know is going to be a blessing for kingdom purposes.

And that's the thing that makes it worth buying your sweats at Walmarts or at the resale shop. Have some accountability partners, not that you tell them all the details, but tell them your goals and help them encourage them. Our book has questions and discussion at the end of each chapter. Have a few friends meet together.

Hold each other accountable so you're not feeling you're kind of alone in the struggle. This is so good. We've, of course, just scratched the surface. So, folks, you're going to have to pick up a copy of this book because there's much more behind all of these. It's called Wise Women Managing Money, and it's from Miriam Neff and Valerie Neff-Hogan. Miriam, thanks for stopping by. We're going to have you back real soon. Thanks, Rob. Sure enjoyed it. God bless you. God bless you as well.

That's Miriam Neff, founder and president of Widow Connection. We'll be right back with much more. Stick around. Every day we hear life-changing stories from listeners just like you who see money and possessions as tools to invite more people into God's kingdom. Instead of chasing wealth, you've chosen to embrace God as your source of love and provision.

At Faithfi, we're passionate about meeting people where they live and work through our national radio program, app, resources, and website to influence widespread positive change in our culture. Please consider becoming a monthly partner at faithfi.com slash give. We're grateful for support from Timothy Plan. For more than 30 years, they've served clients on a biblically responsible journey to invest in a way that honors God and gives dignity to people's lives. More information is at timothyplan.com. The investment objectives, risks, charges, and expenses are contained in the prospectus and summary prospectus available at timothyplan.com.

Mutual funds distributed by Timothy Partners LTD and ETFs distributed by Foresight Fund Services LLC. Great to have you with us today on Faith and Finance. Taking your calls and questions here in our final segment today. 800-525-7000. That's 800-525-7000. You can call right now. To the phones we go, we have two lines open. To Louisiana. Hi Mary, go ahead.

I have a question. Say if I was interested in doing a reverse mortgage. Once you do that, that means that house no longer would belong to me? Well, it just has a lien against it. So it's similar to you having a conventional mortgage.

You're still on the deed. It's just that that loan, that mortgage has to be satisfied before you can transfer or sell the home to somebody else with a clear title. So it's just like any other mortgage Mary. There is one distinction though that actually works in the favor of the reverse mortgage.

So if you have a conventional mortgage, so a typical mortgage that you'd have on your home where you make a scheduled monthly payment over 30 years, you are signing personally for that mortgage. So yes, the home is serving as collateral, but if the home ever lost value and you owed more on that mortgage than the home was worth and you tried to sell it and the sale price didn't give you enough to pay off the mortgage, you'd be personally responsible to make sure that the mortgage is paid in full. With the reverse mortgage, that's not the case. The only collateral for the reverse mortgage is the home.

And if the home lost value and the mortgage ended up being more than the home was worth, the Federal Housing Administration, the FHA steps in and makes up that difference. So you never have anything beyond the value of the home. Now, if the mortgage, the reverse mortgage ended up being less than the home was worth, well then after it's paid, whatever's remaining from the sale could be passed on to your heirs. But you still own the home. It's just that the reverse mortgage has to be paid either when you sell it or at your death.

Does that make sense? Yeah, so you can do it like a reverse mortgage for probably about a year. Well, so you've got a few options with a reverse mortgage, so you can use it. Do you have an existing mortgage on your home?

Yes, sir. Okay, and what is the balance roughly of that mortgage, do you know? Not right off hand, but it's... Is it less than half of the value of the home?

Not really. Okay, yeah, so that wouldn't work. You have to have at least 50% equity in the house. So the mortgage that you have today couldn't be more than 50% of the value of the home. So if your home's worth $200,000, you'd have to have a mortgage less than $100,000 in order to qualify. So if you don't, you would need to wait because that's one of the two big criteria. You have to be at least 62 and you have to have at least 50% equity in the house. So perhaps you continue paying on that mortgage and then when you get to 50% because you're paying down the mortgage and your house is appreciating, well then you could consider it.

And one of the benefits is, even if you didn't take any additional money out, you could just pay off your existing mortgage, again assuming it's half the value or less, with the reverse mortgage and then you just eliminate that mortgage payment, which could help you balance your budget if you're running really tight in this season of life. Hope that helps you Mary, thanks for your call. Let's go to Fort Lauderdale. Hi Marie, go ahead. Hi, how are you today?

I'm doing great, thanks for your call. Yes, so my daughter is 36 and she wants to know should she keep $1,000 in her emergency fund or should she save three to nine months of emergency fund income? Yeah, it's a good question. I love that she's thinking about an emergency fund because it really is one of the foundations, one of the building blocks to a sound financial plan. I would say as a starting point, $1,000 is a great beginning point. I wouldn't end there unless she has credit card debt where she's carrying a balance. If she's charging some bills on a credit card that are budgeted items and then she's paying them off at the end of the month, that's not what I'm talking about.

I'm talking about where she's carrying a balance that she can't pay off and she's paying high interest rates. There'd be no reason to leave a lot of money in savings because when you're paying 20 or 23% in interest, I'd rather her pay that off. So if she's got any high interest consumer debt, I'd stop at $1,000 and focus all of her surplus on getting out of debt, but if she doesn't have that, then absolutely I'd continue going up from $1,000 until she gets to that three to six months worth of expenses. As a 30-year-old, 36-year-old, she probably doesn't need more than six months worth of expenses. At that point, I'd be focused on is there additional giving opportunities or does she want to bump up what she's putting into a retirement account because she's got a great opportunity for the next 30 years to see that money compound and grow in an IRA or a 401k.

She probably wants to try to get up to 10 to 15% going into a retirement plan and that would be perhaps the next thing after a fully funded emergency fund. Does that make sense? Yes, a lot of sense. Thank you so much. All right.

Hey, let's do this. I want to send you a book. Howard Dayton has written the classic book Your Money Counts that I think will be helpful to her.

It's kind of a primer on biblical money management that's very practical but rooted in Scripture. We'll send it to you. You pass it along to her as a gift from us.

Hang on the line, Marie. We'll get your information and get you your money counts in the mail just as a way to say thanks for calling today. You know, folks, as we think about our role in managing God's money, I mean ultimately what our goal is is for us to see God as our ultimate treasure. That we would see our longing for abundance and fulfillment and purpose and meaning in God himself. It's not that he's the access to our abundance.

He is our abundance. And then he gives us this great privilege once we surrender our lives to him of being stewards. Well, we're all stewards of what God has bestowed upon us, our gifts and our talents and our time, our ability to create wealth, the Bible says comes from him, and the privilege of being his money manager. And so our goal is to be found faithful in that and we do that by going to Scripture and seeing that, wait a minute, money can actually compete with our hearts. And so we try to navigate all of these decisions every day, living within our means and avoiding the use of debt and setting some long term goals because the longer term, the perspective, the better the decision we can make today and having margin, some surplus so we can fund our goals of giving more, paying down debt or saving. And by the way, that margin or cushion is a key, the studies say, to getting past having conflict and marriage over money. It's not a matter of your income. It's a matter of whatever it is you're living below it. And then ultimately, it's about giving generously.

Why? Because giving breaks the grip of money over our lives. It takes our eyes off of our little mini kingdoms and raises our perspective, our sights toward the eternal kingdom, that which will last forever. That should be the object of our devotion. We can't serve God and money, but when we give, it allows us to participate in God's activity.

And then the joy that follows is incredible. By the way, especially in these uncertain times, our generosity is a testimony to the world that's looking on to see how, as Christ followers, we're going to respond to the uncertainty and the chaos around us. Folks, I hope today's been an encouragement to you. I'm so grateful you've been along with us. Again, if you'd like to become a Faithfi partner, go to faithfi.com and click Give.

It'd be a real blessing to us here on our team. Thank you to my team today, Robert Youngblood, Devin Patrick, Jim Henry, and the rest of the team here at Faithfi. Have a great day and a wonderful weekend. See you on Monday. Bye-bye. ...