This episode features a personal story, involving trauma and survival. Due to ongoing legal proceedings, details of any pending cases are not discussed. All statements are personal experiences and not legal claims. Welcome to Hope in the Morning. turning tragedies and tears into testimonies of hope.
Although your world seems blanketed in sorrow, I promise you, child, there is hope for tomorrow. There are seasons in life for joy and for pain. a season for crying and for laughing again. I know that you feel overwhelmed and alone, but, my child, I see you and will not let you go. I will never leave you nor forsake you so remember, when sadness may seem to o'ertake you, nothing in this life can destroy you, dear friend for my plans are for you there shall be hope in the end.
I will renew your youth like eagles, and I shall restore your joy in full. find comfort in my wings, for in your weakness my strength will make you whole. Hide yourself in the cleft of my strong and mighty rock, Knowing I keep watchful care over each lamb in my flock. I will rescue you from danger and from the sorrow life will bring. I will place you on the dewy grass beside the peaceful stream.
My arms will wrap you tight you are safe in my embrace. and for each season of your journey I'll sustain you by my grace. My guest today is a walking testimony of these truths. Even as a single mom, she has never been alone in her suffering. Our mighty God has walked before her, and He has been a mighty refuge for her and her children.
Gabby, thank you for joining me today on Hope in the Morning. Thank you so much for having me. Gabby, we actually are going to be doing two episodes with you. And so, for those that are listening, this is kind of reversed. This is almost like part two of your story.
And you have really been asked to walk a hard path. That began with your husband's arrest. How have you seen the Lord provide for you and been a refuge for you and your children since the arrest of your husband? Yeah, as I was preparing for today, I was thinking through a woman's conference with Elizabeth Elliott when she was telling a story about a professor that had made a prayer for her, and she thought it was an odd prayer at the time. The professor said, You know, I pray that when the trials come, that you would be equipped to handle them.
And you think, you know, at the time, Elizabeth Elliott said she thought that was a strange prayer, but as trials came, she was grateful that she was equipped to handle them. And if I could just start with one message for listeners, if you don't have or you're not a part of a solid Bible teaching church, don't walk, run. Find one. Be a part of one. Dive in.
Be vulnerable with people. Find people that you can connect with. Get into the pastor's office and get some counseling, even if you think you don't need it. Just to share what's on your heart. I mean, it has been invaluable for my children and I walk.
Through this to have access to the truth through pastors and leaders and elders that are literally searching the scriptures to help us think through these hard things biblically. I mean, there is just no greater, greater way to navigate the waters when seasons get so hard than to have, you know, faithful leaders coming alongside you to do that. Yeah. And what you were saying with Elizabeth Elliott, like, yes, I think no one necessarily wants that prayer over them because our first thought is, oh my goodness, what trials do you think I'm going to face here, right? But that's truth.
I mean, that's biblical truth, is that the Lord says, in this world you will have trouble, but be encouraged, because I have overcome the world. And Gabby, that's exactly why we want to share your testimony today. Because We are guaranteed trials, and yet when we are prepared by having a biblical depth of maturity. It it allows us to say God is still good. And you know, we're actually recording, we've already recorded part two of your episode, and which will be released at a later date.
But I was so encouraged during that episode with just the way that you do radiate the joy of the Lord. And you have walked through one of the hardest things I would say any woman can walk through. And, you know, one of the things I think people say so often to women, and maybe women say it to women, but it's the phrase, I don't know how she does it all, you know. And You have six children. And you're currently raising them as a single mom.
You work full-time. you're homeschooling all of them. How do you do all of that? And how do you also find time to prioritize your relationship with the Lord? I think Just thinking through We don't have to be coming from a place of, you know, perfection when we're doing all of these things.
I think sometimes, even on a day-to-day women, we can be a little intimidated just by what our tasks are, what our responsibilities are. I mean, everything I do, I do unto the Lord. And I really take that seriously when it comes to parenting my children, when it comes to the work I do, especially working with the elderly and caregiving. I'm doing what I do unto the Lord, and it really does change the dynamic of how I work. And what, when I think about why I am doing this, what is the purpose for what I am doing?
And truly, it is to give God glory. And I want to be able to model that for my kids. And it is not done perfectly. It requires much patience, and I fail much. But you know, just giving ourselves, even as mothers, a little bit of grace too.
And that, you know, God uses our brokenness. When are we strong? We are strong when we are weak because of the Lord's strength and really being intentional about drawing our strength from the Lord. My sin struggle always, even before becoming a believer and the Lord ripping the veil off and showing me my sin for what it is, I have always struggled with self-reliance. I think I know better.
You can't tell me nothing because I already know. And it's just like this so humbling when the Lord graciously stripped me of all my earthly security, my husband, my provider, my home, all of these things. And it's just me. But really, is it only just me? No, because the Lord is near.
He is near to us in our brokenness, even in the day-to-day mundane. I mean, God is with us walking through. And if we are drawing our strength from him, if he is the source, if we are intentional about doing what we're doing for his glory, it changes everything. I love the way you say that. I just, I love talking to you because there's just this beautiful love for the Lord that is so evident in your life.
And we did an episode three weeks ago with Johnny Erickson Tata. And one of the things that she says is, she said that grief can be so difficult. And sometimes it just, some days it wipes you out. But she, she. She challenged us to allow that grief to shape our character.
And you kind of just hinted a little bit about how your grief has shaped your character. What are other ways that the Lord has used this unique sorrow of your husband being incarcerated to form your character? Again, the dependence on the Lord is so humbling. I think when, as a person who walked through life, really not with too many medical issues, you know, I didn't grow up with being ill, or I feel like personally, when you go through a medical trial, that is something that's so humbling because you really feel like you don't have control. You know, you're just depending on the Lord's sovereignty.
But there are ways that the Lord will show us. We are not in control and we do depend on His sovereign will for our lives. And just praying that, even with what my desires are, as a mom, in the walk that I have now, even sharing my testimony, that I can do so in a way that is going to bring glory to God. And that it is because of, it is truly because of Christ's sacrifice that I can look to Him and say, I'm not hanging on a cross, although. The trials that I'm walking through are challenging and they are hard.
God has. Overcome it all. Christ overcame it all. And really renewing my mind in that daily, it may be multiple times per day, if I'm honest. Yeah.
Just reminding myself of that. Where is my hope? My hope is not in my circumstances. My hope is not in, you know, my kids modeling the behavior that, you know, I'm praying that they would. It's not in, you know, what we have or what we don't.
My hope is in Christ's purchase for me, His finished work on the cross. I know that I'm passing through this earth. We are just aliens passing through. Our home is, our home is not here. And having a healthy yearning for eternity is really, really important.
Yeah. One of the books that I most recently read that I absolutely love and recommend to all of our listeners is called Consider the Lilies. And it's by Johnny Artavanis. And one of the things he talks about reminds me of what you just said, Gabby. He talks about how When our minds are focused on the character of God, our problems seem smaller because we are reminded again that, A, this is not our home.
We're just passing through. And so we don't have to be so overwhelmed with the sorrows of this world because thankfully, due to the sacrifice of Jesus Christ, this is not our home. And we are promised trials here, but we're just passing through. The best is yet to come for the believer. And so we can cling to the attributes of God.
And by doing that, We find him faithful and we find him to be new and precious to us in a different way each day. And Gabby, with just the minute and a half that we have here before we go to break, what would you say are some of the attributes of God that you find yourself pointing your children to most often? Oh, we are. are very very um I would say, just blessed in that very frequently I am afforded that opportunity to point them to Christ, to point them to the hope we have in Christ. Man is going to fail us.
And I think that is just the big mantra in the house. We know people will fail us. Our jobs are going to fail us. We can have expectations all we want to, but who will never fail us? Christ.
Christ will never fail us. His love will never fail us. Even when things are sometimes seem unbearable, you know, the pain that they feel, even just expressing now they do know that my younger children know that their dad is incarcerated and that conversation, walking them through that, was challenging. But again, that opportunity that I have to say, Jesus loves us. He is the perfect example of what love looks like.
And we can keep our eyes fixed on him. And that truly. Is a regular conversation. Christ's love never fails us. He will, He's.
You know, protecting us, he loves us. It is him that we should be looking to for our hope. Absolutely. And when we come back from the break, we're going to talk about how you help comfort your children when they do miss their father, and even how the Lord comforts you as you miss your husband. But furthermore, stay tuned because we're going to talk about how the church can serve not only single mothers, but People that have loved ones who are incarcerated.
So join us in just a moment on Hope in the Morning. Do you have a heart to comfort the hurting? Do you want to show the world that through Jesus Christ we can have hope in all circumstances?
Well, then we welcome you to visit hopeinthemorning.org and see how you can join us in these ministry endeavors. May you be encouraged by who our God is as you continue this episode of Hope in the Morning. To learn more, visit us at hopeinthemorning.org. Yeah. Hope in the Morning is a non-profit ministry that seeks to encourage the hurting, equip those who walk beside them, and evangelize the lost with the hope of Jesus Christ.
To partner with our ministry or to make a donation in your loved one's honor, please visit hopeinthemorning.org. Your donation helps keep these stories of hope on the air and helps tangibly meet the needs of the hurdle. Welcome back to Hope in the Morning. Psalm 46, 1 tells us that God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.
Sometimes when we are overwhelmed by life circumstances, it's tempting to feel like we are alone. But when we turn to the truth of scripture, we're reminded that we're never alone. We are not forsaken. We're not forgotten. And my guest today, Gabby, is a walking testimony of that.
Not only has she walked through some very challenging ordeals, but she's here to testify that God is still good and that God has watched over her and her six precious children and provided for you pretty abundantly in those things, Gabby. We were talking before we went to break about how your younger children now are coming to realize that their father is incarcerated. And how do you comfort your kids when they struggle with missing their dad? I think of even just so recently when I did have that conversation with the kids, and I was encouraged to do so just by the pastors at church. I want them to.
Um Have not a full understanding of necessarily why he is where he is, but they know where he is. And for it not to be a lie that he's working, or I want them to trust what it is that I'm telling them. And so, my four-year-old initially, when I told him, he started crying, and he said, Oh no. And I wanna say, maybe. Immediately following the next time my husband called and the kid spoke to him, If my heart can bear it, I do answer the phone if my husband calls.
And my four-year-old asked my husband right away, you know, Dad, are you in jail? And my husband said, Yes, I am. And just out of the heart of you know his little four-year-old self, he said, Well, I wish you didn't do those bad things. And then my husband said, I know, I'm sorry. I wish, you know, that things were different too.
And my four-year-old just says, You know, Dad, I'm praying for you. That's what came out of his little heart. And I think of times like that where I can attribute just that to the fact that we are at such a strong church, really. We're surrounded by people that love the Lord, and we're surrounded by people that know that. Trials and hardships will come, and they know where our hope comes.
And so much that my four-year-old knows where our hope comes from, and he was able to share that with his dad. And sometimes it's not always our words and our prayers as grown-ups, but the prayers and the words of our children and the power that it carries. Yeah, the simple faith of a child, right? Yes, absolutely.
So, those times do come. And I've also been encouraged in counseling just to make sure that the environment at home is one that welcomes those tough conversations in a wise way, in a discerning way. But I want to welcome those tough conversations with our kids. How else are they going to be equipped if they're not getting their information and their sources from the trusted one, which should be mom, or the parents? You know, I'd much rather not those conversations come from family or from cousins, you know, kids talk or from their friends.
They can hear it from me, and I can just walk them through. How do we think through this? And truly, again, always pointing them to the hope we have in Christ. How has the Lord brought you comfort? You said that you pick up the phone when your husband calls if your heart can handle it.
So, what has that been like for you? I mean, at the end of the day, he is still your husband. You can't just cut that off. You can't just sever all those emotions and memories you've had. What has that been like for you?
I would say truly the Lord has grown me in that and what forgiveness looks like. I mean, we have expectations of everyone in a sense in our life, you know. And I know it is so important for me to have been recentered and renew my thinking in taking the log out of my own eye. What did my failures look like? What have my failures looked like in this journey, even in my marriage, where there were times where I wanted to put fires out with things that I wanted, you know, to be able to control in a sense or try to make better.
And I wasn't surrendering to the Lord and realizing that there are very real arenas that I had made my marriage and family an idol in my own heart. And I've just been stripped of that required me to turn to the Lord and say, Father, forgive me for loving anything more. Than I love you. And I have really been humbled in just what forgiveness looks like because Christ forgives me daily. All the time.
And for me to say that, you know, I'm going to just bear this great burden of, you know, anger towards my husband, grief does come in many different forms. And there were waves of just in grief that, you know, I was so disappointed and just deeply pained by how his, you know, how sin affects others. Our sin has a great effect and impact on others that we care about. And just, I still am walking through all of those things, those emotions. And as they come up, it's just a day to day.
But it's so important, even just for myself and others out there, that we don't necessarily feel this great sense of obligation for just to swing the doors open and say, everything's fine. You know, come right back to me. Here I am. And without this accountability, and it's very hard to have real conversations from jail. You know, the calls are.
Recorded. We can't speak candidly. There are things that we can't say with the legal proceedings pending. There's just conversations that we cannot have. And I have to have peace in knowing the Lord knows my heart.
The Lord knows all. He has seen all. My trust and my faith is in him. And I pray for my husband regularly. I pray for him daily that the Lord would just help him navigate where he is, why he's there, and open his eyes to his own sin that he might see his sin the way that God does, that we all would see our sin for the way that God sees our sin.
And You know, that is again still something that I'm walking through daily. Yeah, I think that that's something that, like you mentioned, every single one of us as believers, if we can see ourselves for who we truly are, not only is that Is that humbling, but it allows us to exalt God to the position that He rightly deserves? And one of the questions that I wanted to ask you is: how can the church show compassion and grace to those that have loved ones who are incarcerated? I have been so blessed to be able to have dear sisters come alongside me who have also been impacted by incarceration in their life, be it a father-in-law or a husband or other family members. And I think the common theme with all of us, and as it is truly in grief, people don't know what to say.
You know, you have well-meaning, you know, you're well-meaning and you want to be able to say, Hey, I'm praying for you. And sometimes people just think that's not enough, but it is. It really is. Picking up the phone and calling and saying, I'm thinking about you. How are you doing?
has so much power. It is so encouraging. I mean, it doesn't have to be people have been so sweet, and my friends have all expressed, you know, tangible gifts like gas cards or diapers or wipes, just the tangible needs. I say truly, if you want to do it, do it. If you have a meal that you want to send, send it.
If there's a card in the mail and you don't feel comfortable to hand it to the person, mail it on over. But more than anything, I mean, just ask how we're doing and don't be afraid to sit in the sometimes awkwardness of, I don't know what to say, but I'm here. I'm hearing you and I'm praying for you. And that's okay. We need that.
And I think I have had conversations with all of my friends who have all kind of been in this place where the people that we were very close to kind of since have, we're not so close to anymore. And I think it's just because they don't know what to say. And it does become a. A thing where they don't want to say the wrong thing, or they don't want to say something that could be hurtful. But just, I'm praying for you that prayer is never mere, never.
And that has so much power and weight, and is such an encouragement for us walking through trials. Yeah, you know, I think when people. Have the perception that prayer is a small gesture, there's two things lacking there. One is that either you're not sincere in saying that you will pray for them, it's just a platitude that you're throwing out there. And unfortunately, I think that happens a lot, perhaps not intentionally.
Because sometimes in the business of our life, we say, I'll be praying for you, and then we go on and do our next thing, and we get so busy that we don't offer them up in prayer. But the other side is that if we do not acknowledge fully what the power of prayer is, if you don't understand. What prayer is. I mean, it's the difference between us making a gesture in our earthly strength, which is so incredibly limited, right? Or taking something to the God of the universe who can literally raise the dead.
I mean, he has all power, infinite power. And we, through the blood of Christ, we have access to that. Like, so for us to diminish the value of that. Really just exposes our diminished perception of what prayer is. And yet, what a grace.
You know, in the Psalms, it tells us that because he bends down to listen, I will pray as long as I have breath. I love that verse because it shows us that our God, the mighty creator of the universe, he's not too busy. When he hears you pray, he bends down, he stoops down. to us. He makes himself low.
That's what he did through Jesus Christ, right? He came to earth in the form of a man. He humbled himself, he stooped low so that he might be acquainted with our grace and our suffering, that we would have a high priest that can relate to our sorrows and our sufferings. And that's why he is not far removed. From them, and what a powerful thing to not only say to someone and mean it that I will be praying for you, but I would challenge our listeners, don't just say that.
Call them and say, hey, you've been on my mind today. Can I pray with you right now? Can I just pray with you? That is so powerful. I had a person that told me once her baby had been stillborn, and she said that.
When she went to church and people just simply wrapped her in a hug and began praying for her, she said, I left feeling like they took away buckets of my sorrow with them. What a beautiful depiction of what it looks like to bear one another's burdens Right, to step into their sorrow and say, I'm here. I am going to bring you before the throne of a powerful God. Because you are worth my time. You're worth me feeling like I don't know what to say.
God does. God sees you. God knows exactly what you do. what you need. Gabby, with the time that we have left, what encouraging words can you offer to men and women who are listening who they themselves have a loved one who's incarcerated?
Perhaps it's a husband, perhaps it's a child. What how would you encourage them? I have been so encouraged myself through this and thinking through just the Lord's mercy. Our mess is never too great for God's mercy. And reminding, yeah.
That's from my t-shirts. I like that. Right. It's true. It's true.
I mean, I think reminding our loved ones of that, you know, they do have access to books, to a Bible, and being able to, in the same way, praying with them. Praying for them.
Sometimes our words may be falling on deaf ears, and sometimes it is okay to have those safeguards in place where the relationship isn't fully restored and those kinds of conversations aren't happening with the individuals, the accused. But it's okay behind closed doors, the Lord knows, and to bring that before his throne and to plead on behalf of those that we love, just like we plead for our children or anyone else that we love and care for, that the Lord would be glorified in. His redeeming power reaching the lost, wherever they are. I mean, should they be incarcerated or not? And not to bear this, you know, it's the flip side of the pride on the same category of shame.
Not bearing this shame. And, you know, as I meet new people now and people say, Hey, where's your husband? You know, they see me walking around with all these kids and I get it often. And finding just a wise and discerning way to say, He's no longer a part of our family, you know, he's no longer with us. But that doesn't take away from being able to pray for them.
And then asking others, say, you know, you can be praying for so-and-so. You know, they're currently incarcerated, or you can be praying for so-and-so. That in and of itself Going full circle is so powerful. Absolutely. And a reminder to our listeners that.
Until you take your final breath, no one is beyond hope. Of salvation. No one is beyond the hope of God's reach. And so, We ought to be faithful to pray for those loved ones. You know, one of the phrases in that book that I mentioned again as we conclude that I love is that he says, Johnny Artavanis says in Consider the Lilies, that you don't realize how amazing grace is until you've reconciled the fact that it saved a wretch like you.
And so when we can humble ourselves yet again and remember that before Christ, there's none righteous, not one. And so if we have been so blessed to be called children of God. Our loved one is not beyond. that reach either. Because you know, yet for the grace of God go I.
And yet, we want to extend the compassion and the grace of Christ. He is so infinite in his mercy. And, Gabby, I mean, I truly love what you said: that our mess is never too big for God's mercy. And so, today, as we conclude this episode, I hope that you will wrap your mind in those truths, that you will speak those truths to your own heart, that you will remember that powerful prayer. Moves mountains.
Literally, it creates this union with. the father that created our very innermost being He knows every tear you cry. He knows every sorrow that you face. He will not leave you. He will not forsake you.
He is a refuge for the weary, and he beckons you to come. And again, I'm going to end with what you had said, Gabby, because I just love it so much: our mess is never too big for God's mercy.
So, Gabby, one of the things that I do think is incredible, which for those of our listeners, That are here right now. You can actually read Gabby's story as well on our website. She's put it in written form. And Man, the Lord provided for you in incredible ways that only He could. Can you kind of walk us through some of those?
Those milestone ones starting with when you first got that phone call. and yet you are already on your way to safety. Yes, definitely.
So I made the decision to leave my home with my children. I was pregnant at the time with my sixth child. And the situation was no longer safe spiritually, emotionally, physically. And so I left. And on the road, as I was driving, I left my home not knowing where I was going to go.
I didn't have a plan. I made a few phone calls, and some family members of mine graciously offered to host the kids and I. Thanksgiving was coming up.
So for the kids, I just made it like we're going on a Thanksgiving trip. We packed in a haste and hit the road. As I was driving down to Georgia, is when I received the call that my husband was being charged with a very serious crime. And there was no time for me to just, you know, break down. I'm on the road.
I have the kids in the back seat. And I remember arriving to Georgia, and I had not, you know, my family was unaware of what had transpired. They just, you know, knew I was on my way with the kids and we were going to, you know, spend some time up there. And just upon sharing with them, you know, going through the initial shock of everything, I didn't plan to stay there too long, but now we're coming from Florida to Georgia in November. It's the fall.
I didn't have any winter clothes. My kids didn't have winter clothes. A white jacket was like heavy for us. Yeah. And yet we were never cold.
Okay. The Lord provided mightily in just the generosity of my family and my friends there in Georgia that we had jackets, we had all full winter. Gear, everything we needed for that extended stay. And that was kind of where I was able to take refuge during the immediate aftermath of everything. And I mean, now I've lost my home, I've lost everything.
What could I possibly do for a job? I'm pregnant, okay, and I'm in a new place. And I thought for sure I would settle down in Georgia. You know, I thought that that would be best. There was a good, solid church not far from where my aunt lived, and they were hosting us for a time.
And it's not like I'm just one person, let me be honest. It's me plus five kids.
So they were just so gracious and accommodating for us. And I'm so, so grateful to my aunt and uncle, Ada, and Jose. They were just so kind and in opening their home to us. But as the time, you know, passed and I was going to deliver the baby, I had to think realistically, logistically, insurance, you know, work. What am I going to do after the baby's born?
You know, my aunt and uncle could host us for a time, but Then what? And so I'm so grateful that I had the pastors and elders and leaders from both churches in Georgia and in Florida that are all, you know, discussing and talking through logistically what resources would be available, what the church here could do, what the church here would be able to do. And Just calling 1-800 numbers for myself, homeless hotlines for female veterans. And I ended up getting a referral from Georgia, a 1-800 number that I called. Me not being sure, should I stay and plant myself in Georgia, or should we go back to Florida?
And the church just kind of, you know, discussing different things. My older boys were a blended family, so their fathers lived in Florida, and so they didn't want me to move.
So there were just many moving parts and dynamics, and I really did not know what would be the best situation. And the Lord made that very clear when I got an email that there was funding here in Palm Beach County with a non-profit organization that assisted female veterans to find housing.
So that was a huge praise. I'm like, okay, I know I can get help at least finding a place financially, but how am I going to sustain the place?
Okay, now I have a home.
Well, guess what comes with that bills? Yeah. So here I am, eight months pregnant. Loading the kids up in Georgia to come back down to Florida, and we landed in a host home of a family who had also experienced a grave tragedy of their own. And just thinking how the Lord, in His sheer kindness, I was able to spend, we spent several months there up to Gideon being born, and how they have become such dear friends to me.
And they were able to encourage me in such a specific way because they understood just the gravity of the trial. And my children, having friends that will then also understand what it's like to have this dynamic in your family, I mean, truly was such a gift. And now I. Got the funding for assistance to find a home. I'm like, who's gonna rent to me?
Six kids.
Now I have a newborn. Gideon's here, and he was born healthy, a safe and healthy delivery, which was also another praise because I had some pretty serious complications that came with my fifth son, Ephraim's birth. And so I went into this delivery, just like, Lord, please, you know, get me home to my children. And Gideon, you know, made his way into the world. And I'm so grateful, so grateful that that went so smoothly.
And now here I am having to figure out where I'm going to rent. I don't have a job. I have no income. You know, there's requirements when you fill out a rental application that I wasn't meeting.
Okay. And I thought, you know, Lord, I'm just going to, I'm going out on a wing and a prayer and I'm going to send out some applications for housing and see what I come up with. And in the Lord's kindness, the first application that I got. I was approved. The family needed, you know, they had their own situation where they were leaving the country and they needed a renter as soon as possible.
And it's just the perfect storm, and the Lord knew.
So they needed a renter desperately. Even though my application didn't look so great, they offered to, they were still willing to sit down and meet with me. And after talking to me, you know, between the nonprofits, assistants, they were willing to rent to me. And the kids and I moved into our new home. We've settled in nicely.
I'm still here. I just renewed my lease.
So it's going to be our second year in this place. And I mean, it's just so incredible the mercies of the Lord through all of this. And then once we're moved in, I'm like, okay, well, now I've got to find a job.
Now it's time. A nine to five isn't going to fit the bill, okay? Because daycare, there's just no way. Daycare for four children, I would be working to pay for daycare. And then I thought, well, You know, maybe I could do something from home and be on the phone.
Well, if you know what it's like to be at home with six kids, okay, from the age of 15 to a newborn, I have toddlers. It would be real unprofessional for me to try to have a job that required me to be on the phone. Yes. And I'm like, Lord, you know, you know what I need. You know what my limitations are.
Just I'm trusting in you for what I'm going to do to provide for my family. And no sooner am I surrendering to the Lord, I get a call from a dear sister from church and she says, Hey. I have this job. It's going to be weekends only to start, but the hours were just right. The pay was just enough.
And I would be able to have childcare. And the Lord provided in such a detailed way. You know, you go through these things and you're just like, not even in my most creative mind could I have thought of this would be the job for me. And this is how it's going to work out. But the Lord already knew.
And it has been where I'm still at the same employer. I love my job. I love my patient dearly. She is a dear sister from church as well. And just how the body, again, making your needs known to the body is so important as well.
Being real about what it is that your needs are and where it is that, you know, people can be praying for you. And if, you know, people hear anything, people knew that I needed a job. That was well known. I was searching for a job. If you hear anything, if you think of anything, please let me know.
And then I got that phone call from a sister at church.
So that's something that's so important as well. But just the Lord's provision over and over again. And that even so much so recently, the AC in my van went out. And we're here in Florida, it's hot. And I'm like, okay, Lord, you know, I don't know.
The mechanics are trying to bamboozle me because I'm a woman going up with six kids to the shop. And, you know, it was just a whole. A whole ordeal, and I said, Lord, please, I don't know how this is gonna get solved, but you do. And I got this pamphlet in the mail about a used car dealership, and they were having this event that was right up the road from where I live. And I thought, let me go check that out.
Go check it out. I am so grateful I was able to trade my vehicle in. And I have a car that I have been praying for for a long time: the 12-passenger van. And I'm praying the Lord will fill my seats with people that I can take to church. But it's just things like that, where I have been praying for a passenger van for so long.
And it's just the Lord time and time again shows me. I know what your needs are. I know what is good for you. Trust me. Trust in me and the plan that I have for you.
And he has just been so faithful. You know, you mentioned earlier during the radio portion of our program, you had talked about how for a long time you were very like self-sufficient. Like, I can do it. I can get it done on my own. I don't need any help.
And It's such a neat thing in your testimony now to see that after the Lord stripped you of everything. Not only did you surrender everything, but the Lord said. I will provide everything that you need. And I'm going to do it in such a way that you have only me to give the glory to. And Gabby, I've seen you do that in the episode that we recorded previously that we will record or that we will air at a later date.
And I see you do it today and I just love that. And, you know, I actually didn't know that you had been a veteran. How how long were you a veteran? I enlisted in the military while I was in high school.
So when I was 17, I needed my college paid for. My parents didn't have money put away for school, and I wanted to go to college.
So the recruiter signed me up. He said, Oh, you've got a great attitude to be a military police officer. And I thought, well, you know, he was right at that time.
So, I was so blessed by the time that I spent in the military as an MP. I loved it, but I fell in love with being a mom. And so, I didn't want to be the travel mom where it's very challenging military life on families. And so, I decided that I wouldn't retire in the military. But, how could I have known, 17 years old, enlisting in the military that here I am much later in life, the Lord would use that to bless me and come in my time of need?
Yeah. I mean, the Lord knew. And I love how he weaves things together. And it's so neat because if you're looking for it, you can look back and you can see, oh my goodness, look what the Lord did there. Look how the Lord provided in that unique way.
He literally provided for you at age 17. It was in the workings for you. And, you know, I have to say too, that I find it very impressive that you were a military policewoman because that does tell a lot about the strength of. Your character because that's not for the faint of heart. That's a tough job.
And The Lord used all of those things because also. To have to be a police officer in the military, which is, I'm assuming, very predominantly. Male. You know, you have to learn to be a woman that stands up for herself a little bit. and that can kind of find her own way.
In the world, and the Lord uniquely prepared you through that as well because here you are, you're the commander of your home. You know, unintentionally, that's not something that you necessarily saw in your future, and yet the Lord has you as the leader of your home. of six of six children. That's not a small troop. Yeah, um.
You know, the other thing, I'm going back to that book because it's the most recent book that I read and I loved it. But the Consider the Lilies book, something else he said that I heard in your story just now, Gabby, is that. Faith is also action. And so, we can't just sit there. If you had just sat there and said, I'm just going to sit here in my aunt and uncle's home and wait for a knock on the door for someone to say, Oh, I've got this house for you and your six kids.
That's not, most of the time, that's not how the Lord works. The Lord requires us to surrender, to make our needs known to him. That's part of the relationship that we have with him, especially as our father. What a unique title that we get to have as Christians is that he is our father. And as a father, he wants us to come and bring our needs to him and then trust him to provide for that.
But the fact that you Your faith in action as well. You went and you applied. You went and you looked for what housing you qualify for. You went and made it known to your church that, hey, I need a job, and these are the parameters that I need to be within. And the Lord blessed that.
The Lord blessed the fact that you fully trusted him to supply those needs, and yet you were also willing to be one of those tools in his hand. to supply those needs as well. I think that that's an important thing for us to remember as believers is that God does require action from us. It's just not in our own power. It's not something you're not sitting here saying, you know, so I went and made this phone call and I got this provided for me.
It was, I made this phone call, and look how the Lord used that. to provide for our family. I think that that's that's a tremendous Um It's a tremendous How do you put it? It really shows what God does when we are willing to say, Lord, here I am. Use me.
However, you want to use me, use me.
So, with that, you said that you had made your needs known to the body of Christ. And I was curious: did you were you already part of a good church before this trial happened, or did that come later?
So, I had been part of Grace Emmanuel Bible Church in Jupiter. That's actually the first church that I started attending outside of Catholicism. And it was my mother's suicide that actually the Lord used to break my heart and cause me to seek out, you know, answers. I was looking for answers in life.
Well, how could this happen? You know, I had no idea, you know, that this was just, it was very shocking when my mom passed away and I was pregnant with my second son. And so, pregnant with my second son, I lost my mom, and then pregnant with my sixth son, my life changed again. And so, the Lord uses those broken pieces truly for wonderful things when we are again surrendering and looking to Him for our hope. And so, I had started attending Grace Emmanuel after my mom passed away, and then from there.
I attended a sister church when I left to Georgia.
So, um, I had kids back to back. You know, my four younger ones are pretty much back to back.
So I had been out of the church for a little while. COVID happened and it was just a very strange time when I was having the kids.
So I've been a part of Grace Emmanuel for 10 years now. But when I went to Georgia, there was a sister church that was, I mean, just as welcoming. It felt just like home when I walked through the door over there in Woodstock, a grace community. And it was just, I was just so grateful. Again, it is invaluable to really be a part of the body of Christ.
And that also requires action too. It's like you're not going to go on Sunday and sit in the pews and then build relationships, you know, by not talking to people. You kind of have to put yourself out there, introduce yourself to a new face. Even if it's something that you're not comfortable with, go to the small groups, get to know families, invest. yourself in your brothers and sisters.
Not to say that, you know, that's always easy for some people because it's not always easy, especially for moms and seasons with small children. Hello, I know. Yeah. But having a real conversation without your attention being divided into a million spaces is hard too. But do what you can.
And the Lord blesses those efforts. He knows our heart and he will bless those efforts. Yeah. And when we're involved in a church, that's really the only way that you can know what the needs are around you. And you can't effectively serve one another if you're not present, if you don't know what would minister to somebody.
Because if you don't know what they're going through, You don't know how to minister to them, and if you're not a part of their life and a part of their world on a week-to-week basis, they're not going to open up to you and tell you, Hey, I really need a job, and here's the hours I need, or I'm facing this immense trial, or my child is going through XYZ, or you know, I'm waiting on the results from this test. They're not going to open up about those things. We have to be present. Like it's that is another thing where our faith is put in action. Is that we want to go to church?
And I think, I think, especially in the American church, there's kind of this epidemic, especially amongst younger generations, of feeling like the church is there to serve you. And, you know, they leave because they don't like the music or they don't like the presentation of the message or they don't like the lighting or whatever it may be. There seem to be so many reasons why people. Don't stay faithful. to one particular church.
But if we have the mindset that we are actually there to serve as a unique member of the body of Christ. We stay faithful. And when you stay faithful, that's when you become useful, not when we're transient all over the place.
Something else that I think I understood in your story, but I'd like to get clarification. Were you saying that the church in Georgia and the church in Florida, were they in communication with one another about how they could best serve you and your family? Yes, yes, they were. Pastor Brian, the family pastor in Florida, and Pastor Brian, the family pastor in Georgia, were in communication with one another as they were ministering to me, me and my family, sitting down in counseling sessions. How is it that your church in Florida was walking you and thinking through this?
And the same thing, I was still in communication with the church back in Florida, even when I was in Georgia, just because, you know, my kids, the youth pastor, they knew him and they were counseling with him over the phone during that time. And it was just such a comfort and peace that I had knowing that there is a panel of men who are dedicated to walking the flock through trials such as these, you know, and how they took that very seriously in that they cared to communicate with each other to be able to best serve me. I mean, I was, I had that communication. Contributed so much to the peace that I had walking through this because I knew the Lord had provided me with these strong voices that are pointing me to the truth and how to walk through this. You know, with that comes to mind the fact that we're called to unity.
And what a beautiful expression of unity amongst churches where they are, they're doing what James talks about, the book of James, where it talks about true religion is this. It's caring for the orphans and the widows. And essentially, that's what you and your children became overnight. And yes, your husband is still living and breathing, but on all practical terms, you guys became a widow and an orphan. And so to see the church, two church bodies come together and say, How are we going to minister to her?
How are we going to make sure that her needs are met? That's what it looks like to be the hands and feet of Christ. And even here at Hope in the Morning, that's a big part of why our ministry exists is because we want people to understand what does it look like in a practical sense for us to be the hands and feet of Christ, for us to look out for the interests of others above our own and to say that they will know that we belong to Christ by the way that we love one another. How do we do that? How can we be effective?
How can we be effective to the mom who now finds herself a single mom? You know, how can we come alongside you and encourage you on those difficult days where you're having to explain things to your children or whatever it may be? This is what it looks like to be a unified body. And that's not just within our own Single church building. We are all, as believers, we are all members of one body with the head being Christ.
And so sometimes that looks like multiple believers coming together from different areas to. Rally around a fellow brother or sister. And what a beautiful thing that the church did together. And you know, with the last minute that we have here, I would love to hear your take. And I think you've shared a little bit on this, but maybe just in a little bit more pinpointed way, of how the church as a whole can best support single moms.
Oh, yes. I think that the challenge in. being a single mom, it is unique in that Moms know what moms need. Moms know what moms' struggles are. If your husband's there or not, there are challenges in just the day-to-day.
And I think that there are ministries that are for widows specifically. And I have been so blessed to be able to sit down. And our church does a special, like a widow's luncheon, which is now called kind of the special women's luncheon if you are without a husband, essentially. And it is a different dynamic because I'm grateful that I get to sit around the table and I can hear women whose testimony of the love that their husbands had for them and just the love that they had for their husband and how beautiful a picture of what that looks like. And maybe that in some ways, Women's situation is not always the case.
And finding a way to be able to, um, Come alongside those women too, in a way that is also helpful. The Bible explicitly talks about widows, and the verses that have been a huge encouragement to me are for widows. But there are unique dynamics with what is involved with separation or divorce and things of that nature. And so, just having grace in even maybe tailoring some of those conversations to what that looks like for families that are affected by specifically those kinds of separations. But child care is such a big one.
There are oftentimes functions and things at church where if child care is not offered, it's not like one, I'm not switching off with anyone. Husband's not at home with one kid, so I can go and do the other. There is none of that going on, and I'm very grateful that. My church, the college ministry, the girls there, they have like a whole group chat. And if there is a need, the college ministry girls really do a stellar job at coming alongside and saying, Look, don't be embarrassed to say your laundry is piled up and you need help.
Don't be too embarrassed to say, I mean, all of these things that moms struggle with altogether, when you're adding working full-time and having to support the kids, getting behind on those tasks, being able to have those kinds of ministries, even in the single college girls where they may have the time to come alongside with child care, is a big one. That is such a blessing. Such a blessing. It's the women that are desiring to be married and having children, how they can be useful in serving other women that, you know, really do need the help in that way has been a big blessing. Have you found other men in your church that have stepped up and kind of taken your five sons under their wing to?
Help show them the ropes of what it looks like to be be transformed into manhood. That is my younger boys are still very young, the little ones. My older boys do have their connections at church with the youth pastors, and even specifically the friendships that I build. You know, there comes a point in motherhood where your friends become your friend's kids' parents. Yeah.
So I'm in that season where I mean, I have a 15-year-old and then I have babies.
So arranging play dates and things like that looks a little bit different. But the fathers of my friends, my kids' friends' children, I mean, truly have been such an encouragement. And I can see just a sweetness and a gentleness in when we spend time together that they. They are intentional about including the kids in those conversations and realizing that there's not a dad there that's throwing the ball to them. You know, there's not a dad present that they're asking questions to about this.
The boys need to go to the bathroom. They're going to the girls' bathroom. You know what? He can go to the boys' bathroom over here with me. And just paying attention and seeing those things, it is just such an encouragement and it is so sweet.
And I am so grateful that that is developing. It's something that continues to develop now with my family. I think that's a great thing too, because something that has always stuck in my mind is the fact that it's not enough for us to have examples of what we do not want to be. You have to have examples in your life, especially when you're going through young adulthood, when you're going from childhood to manhood or womanhood. You have to have examples in your life of people that you do want to emulate and people that you can learn to be like, whether that's like in the way that they handle their finances.
Finances, or the way they handle their home, or the way that they are spiritually, you have to have those examples in your life. And there are lessons to be learned by having men or women in your life that you say, oh, I don't want to be like that, I don't want to duplicate that behavior. But it's so powerful when you have someone you say, man, I really pray to be like them. When I'm older, I really want to model my life after them. And then, if they make themselves available for your sons to sit and say, Hey, can you show me how to change a tire on my car?
Can you show me how to fill out a job application? Whatever it may be, that leaves a lasting impression. And that makes a difference between a man who grows up confident and secure and knowing who he is going to become. as a man steady in the faith and steady in his manhood. and um and a young man who maybe feels a little unstable.
in this world.
So what what great tips for the church? I think that, that is wonderful. And Gabby, I'm going to say it again that you just radiate such a joy in the Lord. I just think that you have such a beautiful countenance and I was really looking forward actually to sitting down with you again today and having the opportunity to do another episode with you because. I think that you so clearly love the Lord, and what an incredible testimony to.
proclaim that the Lord Through tragedies, through broken pieces of your testimony, he's made something beautiful. Through the loss of your mom, through the loss of your husband, he has created a beautiful testimony in you, and that reflects his goodness. It reflects his faithfulness, the fact that he has never left you. Yeah. Clearly, it has been a refuge for you in your storm.
So, Gabby, thank you so much for coming on today and for sharing your testimony of hope. Praise the Lord. Thank you. Thank you. Hope in the Morning is a non-profit ministry that seeks to encourage the hurting, equip those who walk beside them, and evangelize the lost with the hope of Jesus Christ.
To partner with our ministry or to make a donation in your loved ones' honor, please visit hopeinthemorning.org. Your donation helps keep these stories of hope on the air and helps tangibly meet the needs of the hurting.
