Cable News Doesn't Sustain In a Hospital Room

Welcome to Hope for the Caregiver here on American Family Radio. This is Peter Roseburger. This is the show for you as a family caregiver.

For those of you who are willingly, knowingly, and often at great expense to yourself, putting yourself between a vulnerable loved one and even worse, disaster. Maybe it's an aging parent. Maybe it's a child with special needs. Maybe it's somebody who has experienced great trauma. Somebody with mental illness. Somebody with an addiction. Somebody with alcoholism. Whatever the chronic impairment, there's always a caregiver somewhere in their circle.

Are you that person? If so, you are in the right place. 888-589-8840.

888-589-8840 if you'd like to be a part of the show and we'd love to have you. There is an article by one of the writers and he's a commentator featured often on Fox News and some other things. He's a very, very smart man and he's a very measured man and he's got an article. His name is Victor Davis Hanson. He's got an article this morning in Fox News in their opinion section and it's called An American Apocalypse.

Why people of all classes, races are filled with fear. And it's worthy of reading. It's a good read. He's a very good thinker. But he left something out and that's what I wanted to talk to you this morning about. As believers, are we filled with fear? I know we have things that are very troubling and unsettling to us, but are we filled with fear?

And I get the point of what he's talking about. He's doing this certainly in a political mindset from that point. But I think that this is a time for us as believers to stand up firmly and say to the world and demonstrate to the world the core of our faith, which is that we can be at peace no matter what's going on around us. We can be. It's a muscle that we don't work very often because we've lived in basically a bubble here in the United States for so long, but the rest of the world deals with what we're dealing with as a country. The rest of the world has been dealing with this for centuries since time began.

I mean, America is an anomaly. And so we're having these thrashing abouts here of all this fear. And yet we, as believers, we have access to the Prince of Peace. And is that being fleshed out in our lives every single day? And if not, why not?

If not, how do we do this? And part of what I do on this show is speak to that issue because I believe that as caregivers, the battle for us is not in caregiving. It is not in the task that we do. The battle for us as caregivers is in our hearts. And if we are so torqued, if we are so unsettled, if we are so struck filled with struggles and anger and rage and resentment and fear and all these things, how in the world are we going to make decisions that are healthy for ourselves and for our loved ones? And so I want to speak to that every single week and get us back to the path of safety, which is that peace of God, which transcends all understanding, guarding our hearts and our minds in Christ Jesus.

That's it. That's the journey for us as caregivers. Now, no matter what we face, which they are very painful things that we face as caregivers, we face them relentlessly.

We still have access to that peace. Many of you know that Gracie and I are facing a pretty difficult surgery coming up. We're still working on all the details of this and don't know exactly when all this is going to occur here, but it's probably going to be within the next couple of months.

This is our 81st that I can count, and it's a big one, but it's got to be done. And one of the things I tell Gracie and I tell myself this, when we want to get worked up and fret about this, we're not there yet, but he is. We're not there yet, but he is. I was talking to a buddy of mine yesterday.

He's going through a pretty ugly surgery himself here coming up. And I told he and his wife the same thing. You're not there yet, but he's there. He's waiting on you there. That's the nature of our faith. And do we believe that?

And do we hang onto it? And that brings me to the hymn today that I wanted to play for you. Some of you may have never heard this hymn, and some of you may have heard it for a lifetime, but I love the text. It's written by a wonderful woman named Frances Havergall, and she wrote a hymn that you may know.

I'm over here at the caregiver keyboard. She wrote another hymn called Take My Life and Let It Be, Consecrated Lord of Thee. But this is a different text that she wrote here, and I want to see if you know this text. It's written by Frances Havergall, and she wrote a hymn called Take My Life and Let It Be. That is wonderful. It's always been one of my favorites.

And if you know that, 888-589-8840, 888-589-8840, and I'm going to be weaving the theme of this song in throughout the whole show. But if you've got other things on your mind and heart that you want to talk about, you certainly are welcome to do so. And we'd love to hear from you on that. Listen to this quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson. Some of your hurts you have cured, and the sharpest you've even survived. But what torments of grief you endured from evils which never arrived.

How we've tormented ourself. And then now contrast that with this hymn. What a friend we have in Jesus. All our sins and griefs to bear. What a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer. Oh, what peace we often forfeit.

Oh, what needless pain we bear. All because we do not carry everything to God in prayer. So what a friend we have in Jesus is basically saying the same thing that Ralph Waldo Emerson is saying. But what torments of grief you've endured from evils which never arrived. How many of you all right now are tormenting yourself with evils that are not here? And so in this article that Victor Davis Hanson wrote today in American Apocalypse, why people of all classes and races are filled with fear. Are we filled with fear as believers? Is that what's driving us every day to push ourselves to these extremes?

Is that where you are? Fear has torment. Ralph Waldo Emerson picked up on that. What torments of grief you've endured. Fear has torment. But finish the verse for me.

But perfect love does what? Cast out fear. Are you afraid this morning? Are you looking at the news every day and just getting more and more anxious?

Well, you can fix that by the way. Turn off the news. I was doing an interview with somebody on their show.

I don't remember where it was, but they asked and said, what can caregivers do to stay healthy during this time? I said, turn off the news because they are vested in keeping you and me outraged and upset and anxious. But God through his word is offering you peace beyond all of that. And he's vested. He is vested in calming your heart down. If you know this song, 888-589-8840, this is Peter Rosenberger. We'll be right back.

Hey this is Peter Rosenberger. We hope you're enjoying the podcast. We do several things with this podcast. Certainly we air our show that is broadcast on a couple hundred stations each week. We put that on the podcast, but we also do special interviews and bonus materials and all kinds of things to help strengthen the family caregiver. And we think that are building up hearts all around the world.

We're downloaded in over a hundred countries and we would welcome your help in doing this better and more. And you can go out to hopeforthecaregiver.com slash giving and donate online today. It's a nonprofit that Gracie and I founded many, many years ago through Standing with Hope as the parent company. We have a prosthetic limb outreach that you hear Gracie talk about quite often. And then we have this show it's for the wounded and those who care for them. And we would certainly welcome your tax deductible gift to help us do this better.

Whatever's on your heart. Hopeforthecaregiver.com slash giving. Let's go help strengthen family caregivers together. Welcome back to Hope for the Caregiver here on American Family Radio. This is Peter Rosenberg and this is the show for you as a family caregiver. We're so glad that you are with us. If you are new to the show 888-589-8840.

888-589-8840. And we are glad to have you with us. Our song for today. If you know this song, I'll just play the chorus because I played the whole thing last segment here. Our hymn that we want to play and we want to drive home this point of what this hymn says. That is our hymn for today. And if you know that hymn give us a call. 888-589-8840.

888-589-8840. Written by a woman named Frances Havergall. And you may have known another hymn that she wrote. Take my life and let it be consecrated Lord to thee. Which I love that hymn. Why do I do these hymns?

Because these hymns reflect the faith and the strength and the focus of people that came before us who endured and walked through very difficult things. So I referenced in the last segment this new article by Victor Davis Hanson who's one of my favorite writers. He's a great thinker. But he says this Americans are growing angrier by the day in a way different from prior sagebrush revolt such as the 1960s silent majority or tea party furor over a decade ago. The rage at the current status quo at this time is not just fueled by conservatives for the first time in their lives all Americans of all classes and races are starting to fear a self-created apocalypse that threatens their family safety and the American way of life.

Well you know and you look around and he's right to look at the landscape and see this. But those of us who have been caring for a loved one with chronic impairments for any length of time have been plunged into that world of angst fear outrage all these kinds of things for a long time. This is these are not new sensations to us and and we all go through this as human beings that's the human condition.

But with caregivers it is a relentless journey into very very difficult things very painful things and it doesn't seem to let up. And so the American public now is is seeing this on paraded around in this 24 news cycle with cable news running all the time and it just keeps it churned up. You notice that? Have you ever noticed that that the media in this country has an interest in keeping you torqued?

Watch it. I mean when's the last time you you see them give any credence on the media to here's a great story. Here's a great story that'll really touch your heart.

How many of those things they lead off with? There's one that happened this week which I think it does bear talking about and that was at the baseball game which I haven't been following major league sports for some time but they had the White Sox and the Yankees played at the Field of Dreams where they filmed it to commemorate the anniversary of this movie and they filmed it at the actual set and they had the farmhouses there in the background they built stands and so forth and then the teams came out from the cornfield and played it was kind of cool and then Kevin Custer who started it walked out and they played the theme from James Horner I don't know if I didn't even play that. I think that's the theme. They play that through the all the speakers excuse me and it was just a real wonderful moment but if you remember the movie James Earl Jones's character was telling Ray Kinsella he said oh yes Ray that will come for it's peace they want and and yes I understand the world and in Hollywood and everything else try to somehow project what they think is peace but as believers we know this we can stand on this and we have generations upon generations of those who came before us who have anchored themselves in this peace so that that when they face these things that they faced they were not overwhelmed do we do that now are we picking up that standard and doing that for a world that is incredibly troubled and I would suggest to you that you would do yourself a favor to turn off the news I was out painting the house which I hate to paint by the way I'm good at it but I hate it it's just one of my least favorite things to do but we needed to do it on our cabin and it was but I got out there and I had my earbuds on and I was listening instead of listening to the news or anything else I was just listening books on tabs I just finished a book by C.S. Lewis on the problem of pain which is a powerful book to read and then I'm doing the next audio book of his on the great divorce and you know it just it just anchors me differently and better than to go and fill my mind with all these people who are just keeping me torqued up Gracie and I have enough things in our life that are unsettling we I don't need to borrow others and so when you when you see what's going on around you it's not that we put our head in the sand but put it against the light of scripture that's why I'd give these hips because they're so that they're so easy to remember these great text for today for example such an easy melody to remember that great text that Francis Havergall wrote and I'll if you if you know it 888-589-8840 we'll get to that in a minute but I wanted just to take a little bit of time to speak to this because I know that there is a lot of unsettledness out there we as a country seem rudderless and there's a part of me that as I watch the landscape of what's going on in the political world and everything else I see this but I also know what I can and what I cannot do and I have this opportunity to come before you today on this show and you don't need me to offer my glib and pithy political insights from one caregiver to another you're asking me to draw upon my 35 years of walking through a lot of unsettledness to share what insights I've gleaned through this what has sustained Gracie and me through this and what continues to do so and I can promise you what continues to do so is not watching cable news that does not sustain me in a hospital room that does not sustain me in the difficult times that Gracie and I walk through it's good to be informed but what sustains me is far greater and I would be negligent in my responsibilities to say anything different to you and as much as I appreciate the article from Victor Davis Hanson it's a great article please read it take advantage of it read it there are great articles everywhere we can see this the prophets came out in all the scripture they they they shared things that were not very settling but if you'll notice that just about everywhere there's that there's always that contrast of God's faithfulness in it in his provision and there are consequences when we reject it and there are two kinds of people there's that individual who bends the knee and says to God thy will be done and then there's those individuals to whom God says thy will be done and he lets us do what we wish to do even to our own destruction and there's a powerful picture there isn't it God is not going to force you to trust him he invites you to trust him even as you face the things that you're facing as a caregiver and as you're watching somebody suffer and struggle I got the news this morning just before I went on the air my mother's brother died in the night and it's been a long process for his family for my cousins for my aunt and yet you're you're talking I look at my aunt and marvel at the unshaking faith that she's had through some very difficult times and as my uncle stepped into Alzheimer's some years ago and and and yet his faith was unswerving so much so that we just got a video that the family sent over and he he was there and he didn't recognize a lot of the people in the room and this was just from a couple of weeks ago and yet they were somebody was on the guitar playing amazing grace and he was singing along with amazing grace that's why I do these hymns because these things can even transcend Alzheimer's imagine imagine us in our journey with all the things going on when we look at the news when we see the the rudderless things going on and we see the agenda going against the things that we have valued are we shaken are we are we knocked off course when you watch your loved one groaning in agony for hours upon hours upon hours and I've done that and those of you who've done it you understand what that's like are we shaking when sorrows like sea billows roll you ever been out in the ocean and you've had billows sea billows rolling at you tossing you all over are you shaking if so you're in the right place because this is the this is the battle for us as caregivers and we are not going to come out come out of this thing you know on our own steam we're not going to figure this thing out by ourselves but we can anchor ourselves in the word of God we can anchor ourselves in the faith of those who came before us Hebrew says to do that the book of Hebrews says remember those who spoke the word of the Lord to you what appropriate imitate their faith the writers of these hymns got that we'll be right back this is Peter Rosenberger 888-589-8840. I'm Peter Rosenberger and this is your caregiver minute as caregivers we are weary fearful wounded souls trying to stand between a vulnerable loved one and even harsher circumstances but the grim things we face can cause our hearts to daily break and we cry out for relief and to feel better during our journey as a caregiver there's gonna be many times where we won't feel better someone we love suffers and we're often powerless to do anything about it you're never gonna feel better about that but that's not the goal the goal becomes to be better as we journey through this often long valley of the shadow of death and to be healthier on every level physically emotionally financially spiritually we can be healthy while caring for someone who isn't even if we feel heartbroken over what we must do as caregivers we're not always going to feel better but we can be better and let's do this together this has been your caregiver minute with Peter Rosenberger brought to you by standing with hope there's more information at standingwithhope.com welcome back to hope for the caregiver here on american family radio this is peter rosenberger this is the show for you as a family caregiver and we're glad that you're with us 888-589-8840 888-589-8840 if you want to be a part of the show by the way a family caregiver somebody said what's the difference between a caregiver and a family caregiver the difference is very simple it's a paycheck and we don't get paid for what we do all right uh Mildred uh knows this song and Mildred's in Ohio Mildred good morning how are you feeling good good good do you know this song Mildred I don't know the name of it but I know how it finishes it's like finding as he promised perfect peace and rest you know what I'll give that to you Mildred because that is the that's the crux of the whole song finding as he promised perfect peace and rest and it's the the hymn is like a river glorious okay yes glorious is god's perfect peace over all victorious in its bright increase perfect yet it floweth fuller every day perfect yet it groweth deeper all the way stayed upon Jehovah hearts are fully blessed finding as he promised perfect peace and rest and isn't that a great text Mildred oh yes I'm I'm an organist and pianist so I I know a lot of the hymns I just love the hymns there are some of the praise songs you know that I like but I just love the hymns well I do too what is one that what what is one that stands out to you that's particularly meaningful to you oh there's so many well I like onward Christian soldiers for one thing I like that one too I like that one too and there I just go sometimes I just go at the piano do you still play Mildred yes yes I still play church service well good I'm glad to hear that and I like to sometimes go there there's something about playing in an empty sanctuary you know during the week when you're rehearsing and going over stuff and I remember hearing comments about when Bach would practice during the week you know preparing for services and he was composing and so forth and how it filled the church and I remember when I would go over to play when I was in Nashville we live out in Montana now but I was in Nashville went to a rather large church there and I would play on Sundays but I would work out whatever I was going to play during the week and I'd be there in empty sanctuary and sometimes one or two of the pastors would just slip in and they would just listen and then sometimes I'm playing just for the custodian and I love that and we would just have great times with that and just feels there's something very settling about that is it there Mildred yeah I played for many services over the years and then for many quite a few years before my husband passed away he had Alzheimer's and I didn't play then because I had my hands full you know with that but I understand I'm playing again now and I just I just did you pick out the music for his service I yes yes what did you pick out you remember you know I I'm getting I'm 86 years old and my memory won't take let me remember things when that's all right we call them well I have I have planned and helped select music for many a service I don't do weddings anymore Mildred I hate to play weddings I hate to play weddings more than I hate to paint and I don't really good at that I played for a few weddings when I was in my early 20s yeah there's too much drama and and unless I really love this person you know like his family or something I'll do it I won't do it unless they are very very close to me and if if somebody wants me to play for their wedding I charge an outrageous amount just to make them go away because I won't I hate doing it there's just too much drama but I will play for pretty much any funeral that I'm asked to play because I feel like that's an opportunity for me to minister to grieving hearts and and nobody's got to go anywhere at that point where there's not that drama of having you know it's got to be pitch perfect every single time you know that kind of stuff and so I have planned and played for a lot of services and these hymns that I play you know you'd be surprised of some of the ones a lot of people want the you know it is well with my soul and that's fine and you know amazing grace and things such as that but I also try to weave in songs like this one today like a river glorious or songs like jesus shall rain duke street jesus shall rain wherever that you know I love those hymns because they're they're declaratory statements particularly if the life was lived as a life of faith and and you know in my little section here that I do on the on the network here and on this show I just like to talk about these hymns I figured we have we spent a generation getting away from them yeah and I'm so meaningful and they are and did you know the other song that this woman wrote surely you did take my life and let it be Francis have a go at that yeah isn't that a isn't that a great one as well Mildred yes and I like I like the songs that we're singing for this sunday open now like gates of beauty are you familiar with that one yes I haven't well I hadn't played that one forever I have to look that one up for a long time either and then oh savior precious savior all hail the power of jesus name oh that's one of my all-time favorites and then lead on oh king eternal that's my dad's favorite um lead on oh king eternal and I remember watching him in the pulpit when we would do that song and he was just he would he still does but he would sing that with great gusto I mean lead on okay dad was a captain in the navy he's a chaplain and that somehow that oh he always just stood at attention on that you know even in the pulpit it just that lead on oh king eternal that is a great hymn and um boy you got a you got a church that's delving deep into these hymns don't you yeah we're struggling uh we're a denominational church and the the pat we've got a pastor 70 I think he's 71 years old and he's he just informed the congregation that he's retiring and uh well I'm sorry you're struggling with it but I'm glad for this sunday that you've got some songs that lead on oh king eternal is a great song to sing when you're struggling you know because we're going to anchor ourselves and we don't have to lead this he's leading this and that's a good that's a good message to have and uh now I do try to dress these up a little bit Mildred so when I play I play chords that are probably not in the hymnal but I'm trying to um maybe play these in a way that tug at people's ear a little differently than they've heard it so it will yeah it'll sound fresher to those who've heard it for a long time and hopefully it'll sound engaging to those who've never heard it before so I throw in notes or do you play by ear both and chord charts and so forth and uh um I started off playing by ear um and then I started taking lessons when I was my first lesson I think was like 10 or 11 and then took it all through high school and then majored in music in college and um and I still talk with my piano professor from college and he taught me a lot of the wonderful arrangements styles and things to do and chords and so forth and so uh but one of the things that he taught me Mildred and this will mean something to you and y'all for the audience I just ask you indulge me for a moment but he taught me that when you're arranging a hymn to play the melody with one finger as expressively as you can and for a pianist that's not an easy trick for a trumpet player that's no big deal because you're only playing one note at a time anyway so but for a pianist you're used to having you know all 10 fingers going so when you when you sit down and play something instead of just plucking it all out just go in there and go and that way the melody gets ingrained in you before you start adding all the flourishes and you keep it simple and make sure that people hear that melody and uh if you and that I think that's something for caregivers that I learned a long time ago is that I'm so used to playing all the harmonies but have I lost my own melody and as I played for Gracie I would play and of course Gracie's just a wonderful singer but I was playing around Gracie she was singing the melody and then one time I was asked to play just as a solo piece this many years ago and I realized I was hearing Gracie in my head and I was playing around her and I wasn't playing the melody and I had to go back and retrain myself to play the melody and I thought that's a big lesson for me as a pianist and as a caregiver that I've women I lost my own voice I lost my melody I need to play the melody so that's just a little musical cul-de-sac that I went in for a few moments here so thank you for that Mildred for indulging me on that. It amazes me how you could how a person can play by ear and put in all these extra notes I can't do that. Well I don't know that I can I just it just I just hear it and I play it to the best of my abilities but I it amazes me how people can read music really well I can do okay but you put a you put a piece of music in front of me and I'll struggle through it I'll get it but it's you know I can't help myself I keep adding stuff to it and but it's just I'm so grateful for the music that God has allowed me to enjoy Martin Luther said next to the Word of God music elevates the soul like nothing else and I want to elevate the souls of my fellow caregivers as best as I possibly can every week to know because as we face as you dealt with this with your husband with Alzheimer's Mildred I would imagine there were many times when you just all you could do was remember a particular hymn or a phrase from a hymn in the midst of all that and it just anchored you my anchor holds within the storm you know and all those wonderful texts that come back so I thank you for from one church pianist to another Mildred it's been a treat talking with you this morning. Well thank you I likewise. Well you have a great day I'm going to jump off here now and go to a quick break then we'll come back and we'll take some more calls this is Peter Rosenberg and this is hope for the caregiver 888-589-8840 888-589-8840 the hymn is like a river glorious is God's perfect peace over all victorious in its bright increase perfect yet it floweth fuller every day and it doesn't matter who's on cable news his peace is perfect all the way all right 888-589-8840 we'll be right back. Hey this is Peter Rosenberger have you ever helped somebody walk for the first time I've had that privilege many times through our organization standing with hope when my wife Gracie gave up both of her legs following this horrible wreck that she had as a teenager and she tried to save them for years and if it just wouldn't work out and finally she relinquished them and thought wow this is it I mean I don't have any legs anymore what can God do with that and then she had this vision for using prosthetic limbs as a means of sharing the gospel to put legs on her fellow amputees and that's what we've been doing now since 2005 with standing with hope we work in the West African country of Ghana and you can be a part of that through supplies through supporting team members through supporting the work that we're doing over there you could designate a limb there's all kinds of ways that you could be a part of giving the gift that keeps on walking at standingwithhope.com would you take a moment to go out to standingwithhope.com and see how you can give they go walking and leaping and praising God you could be a part of that at standingwithhope.com the word of God tells us many times in one form or another fear not today in the world many people are very fearful about some of the many perils and dangerous happenings that are going on in the world Psalm 91 verses 1 and 2 tell us he who dwells in the secret place of the most high shall abide under the shadow of the almighty I will say of the Lord he is my refuge and my fortress my God in him I will trust I'm Joseph Parker and we here at the American Family Association would like to remind you fear not put your trust in the Lord we'd like to both encourage and challenge you to aggressively put your faith to work and one way to do that is to praise Psalm 91 daily for yourself and your family and keep your trust in him if you'd like to get a copy of the Psalm 91 prayer for yourself email us here at Psalm 91 at AFA.net again at Psalm 91 at AFA.net Welcome back to Hope for the Caregiver this is Peter Rosenberger this is the show for you as a family caregiver that may be one of the best ways to redirect our thoughts away from the unsettledness and the fear that we have do you see how do you see what's going on around you as far as not the news and the agitation from the media and all that kind of stuff but the the plight of people around us and if we are so focused on ministering the gospel in emptying ourselves in that regards it doesn't allow for a whole lot of time to get torqued up about other things if we're so focused on the gratitude of what we have in Christ Cicero I believe it was said that gratitude is the virtue from which all others spring and are you grateful this morning it's hard to be fearful when you're grateful have you noticed that and scripture talks about yea do I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil but what if you flip that a little bit and say we're walking through the valley of the shadow of life and recognizing that this is not our home and as Luther said the body they may kill God's truth abideth still do we anchor ourselves in these things when we're faced with difficult things and I'm not saying that we don't have things to tremble about because they are frightening but the more we anchor ourselves in the truth of God the calmer we can face these very difficult things that we have to deal with and we may grieve and we may mourn scripture says blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted but it's hard to be comforted if you're not mourning if you're just raging out or you're despairing it didn't say blessed are those who rage out or blessed are those who are despairing it said blessed are those who mourn there is a different that is a different word and it's but the comfort is there but we grieve over these things but we don't grieve as those who have no hope scripture says is this is this our journey and please don't in any way think I own this this is the path now that I see that I'm called to walk upon and trust him in those very dark places knowing though that I am walking in the valley of the shadow of life as well that there's life abundantly in this I am not content as a caregiver down in my 35th year Monday is our anniversary we've been married 35 years Gracie was hurt before I met her this is my 35th year as a caregiver that is coming to an end and I start my 36th and I am not content to just survive this I am going to live in this and I'm going to live with with great abandon and enjoy life and Gracie is too this is our life we're not just going to get through this we're going to live it because we have this perfect peace and rest finding as he promised perfect peace and rest never foe can follow never traitor stand not a surge of worry not a shade of care not a blast of hurry touch the spirit there and that is that is the message that I have anchored my heart in to be able to withstand these things Debbie in Ohio Debbie good morning how are you feeling good morning how you feeling Debbie I'm I'm feeling sad this morning fatigued distracted but I thank you so much for what you just shared right before I came to the line so I I'm a caregiver I have two adult sons on the I have three sons but two are on the autism spectrum so they reside with me and I often joke I'm 57 years old but I have a combined combined years of caregiving of 49 or something like that I can't remember what the like my mind is not there right now to remember I'm combining their ages of 28 and 27 or 26 now that's that's a fair combination by the way and you know I when I tell people my age I always say yeah but I got a lot of mileage and they're not interstate miles yes right yes exactly exactly so I just I want to thank you like I said for what you just shared about living not living not just to get through just to get okay I'm just trying to just trying to get through the day just trying to survive the day but living because this is the life that I have and seeking to make the most of it for God's glory for my good and for the for the betterment of my sons and that's just really an encouragement so thank you for sharing that well you're quite welcome Debbie and I I really want you I want you to know that I think I can speak for the vast majority of the audience here when we can appreciate the magnitude of what you carry and it is not an easy thing a lot of people when they think of caregivers they think of taking care of the elderly and then we're going to get mama all the way to Jesus and then we can go live our life and that's I knew a long time ago when I started this show many years ago that that was not the case that was not my message to my fellow caregivers that we're just going to get through this we're going to learn to live with this it's a hard life but it doesn't mean it's a bad life and it's there are painful things that you have to walk through and when you're dealing with children on the spectrum you know they're not terminal they're they're dealing with you know an impairment but it's they're not terminal and and there's a different set of challenges and so when when you have people that just focus exclusively on taking care of the elderly in a nursing home and that's their understanding of caregiving you you are cutting out all the debbies of this world who are who are struggling mildly and knowing that their children who they love desperately are unable to do anything other than this but they have a life to live they they they are engaged in life to the best of their abilities and you're there for them yes sometimes I I feel well it is I say I feel but it's my reality I'm I'm trying to live my life vocationally academically recreationally socially spiritually financially but I'm also you know that's exponentially three times because I have to do the same for Aaron and I have to plan the same for Matthew and it's like I'm trying to live three people's lives and make you know and I'm only one person and I know the Lord provides and he gives me the strength and the energy and whatever he gives me what I need and there's lots of times where you know I'm not able to accomplish what I want to accomplish for Matthew recreationally this year because I'm you know the time for that I'm using for myself or for Aaron pulls away or vice versa and yeah it's quite challenging trying to live three people's lives out of one person's body well it is and one of the things I set out to do on this show was to provide an environment where caregivers can call in and speak in their own language I speak fluent caregiver and you you this is a place where you don't have to explain yourself this is a place where you don't have to somehow tap dance around how you feel about it this is a place where where you are understood and as much as I've learned how to speak caregiver I just want to give you this it's our Savior's native tongue that's who he is and and he sees this and he gets this and he gets this in ways that we'll never get this and then if you start looking at scripture and these hymns and all that from that perspective of understanding how much he cares for the weary and the broken hearted come unto me all you who are weary and heavy laden and then all of a sudden those things start coming they they they mean so much more because he does see this what what do you like to do for you Debbie for me I enjoy reading I enjoy like physical activity like walking and listening to music or listening to sermons or podcasts of your program I enjoy when I have an opportunity to play volleyball or pickleball but again those opportunities are few and far between and with COVID with just trying to manage my schedule with my sons and things like that but but those are the things that I enjoy doing well I tell you what would you mind if I when I put you on hold here and I'll get your address and I'll just send you a copy of Gracie's CD would that be okay I'd love that I would absolutely love that well I think I think you would find it meaningful there's and and it was it's I'm real proud of her for what she does and she's working on some more stuff that we're going to work around with this surgery coming up and but she's I think you'll find this and there's a there's there's a wide selection of songs here that have meant something to her for for some time and she ends up with an a capella version of breathe on me breath of God that'll just break your heart it is so beautiful and she's saying that to my mother in ICU and I fussed it my in-laws because Gracie said she didn't know that hymn my mother asked her to sing it when she was struggling but she was trying to catch her own breath dealing with congestive heart failure and Gracie's like give me the hymnal I don't know that hymn up and I so I had to go and fuss at her parents and let them know what did you do to this child that you did not teach her this song no I'm just kidding but she's singing acapella throughout ICU and all the nurses just you could see them they I watched them they all stopped to kind of lean their head out and they heard this voice singing breathe on me breath of God and so I'm going to put you on hold and we're going to get this to you and Debbie I just want you to know this is a place you can call anytime you want okay anytime get your cup of coffee just hang out with us on Saturday mornings and I thank you for listening to the podcast we have five hundred something episodes out there and I hope people will take advantage of that but I'm gonna put you on hold Debbie and thank you very very much for the call the music's playing so we gotta go don't hang up Pat will get your stuff here this is Peter Rosenberg and this is Hope for the Caregiver go out to our website Hopeforthecaregiver.com be a part of the show help us do more if you like what you're hearing on this show help us do more there's a giving tab right there you can go to and then you can also access our free podcast we have like I said over five hundred episodes out there and fill your mind with things that are going to strengthen you as a family caregiver Hope for the Caregiver is about healthy caregivers and healthy caregivers make better ones we'll see you next week some of you know the remarkable story of Peter's wife Gracie and recently Peter talked to Gracie about all the wonderful things that have emerged from her difficult journey take a listen Gracie when you envision doing a prosthetic limb outreach did you ever think that inmates would help you do that not in a million years when you go to the facility run by CoreCivic and you see the faces of these inmates that are working on prosthetic limbs that you have helped collect from all over the country that you put out the plea for and they're disassembling you see all these legs like what you have your own prosthetic legs and arms when you see all this what does that do to you makes me cry because I see the smiles on their faces and I know I know what it is to be locked someplace where you can't get out without somebody else allowing you to get out of course being in the hospital so much and so long that these men are so glad that they get to be doing as as one band said something good finally with my hands did you know before you became an amputee that parts of prosthetic limbs could be recycled no I had no idea you know I thought a peg leg I thought of wooden legs I never thought of titanium and carbon legs and flex feet and sea legs and all that I never thought about that as you watch these inmates participate in something like this knowing that they're helping other people now walk they're providing the means for these supplies to get over there what does that do to you just on a heart level I wish I could explain to the world what I see in there and I wish that I could be able to go and say this guy right here he needs to go to Africa with us I never not feel that way every time you know you always make me have to leave I don't want to leave them I feel like I'm at home with them and I feel like that we have a common bond that I would have never expected that only God could put together now that you've had an experience with it what do you think of the faith-based programs that CoreCivic offers I think they're just absolutely awesome and I think every prison out there should have faith-based programs like this because the return rate of the men that are involved in this particular faith-based program and other ones like it but I know about this one are it's just an amazingly low rate compared to those who don't have them and I think that that says so much that doesn't have anything to do with me it just has something to do with God using somebody broken to help other broken people if people want to donate a used prosthetic limbs whether from a loved one who passed away or you know somebody who outgrew them you've donated some of your own for them to do how do they do that please go to standingwithhope.com slash recycle standingwithhope.com slash recycle. Thanks Gracie.