Hope for the Caregiver on American Family Radio

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Call 866-WIN-ASIA or to see chickens and other animals to donate, go to crittercampaign.org. From Nashville, Tennessee, this is Hope for the Caregiver. I am Peter Rosenberger bringing you three decades of experience to help you stay strong and healthy as you take care of someone who is not. Why are we doing this show?

Well, I'll give you 65 million reasons why. 65 million Americans right now are standing between a vulnerable loved one and even worse disaster. That's the person we're going to help. We're going to help that individual, point them to a place of safety where they can catch their breath, take a knee, and then start developing healthier strategies to live a calmer, healthier, and even more joyful life while dealing with harsh realities.

Now, how do I know this? Because I've been doing it now for more than 30 years. In fact, I was just with my wife's doctor last week, and we found out she's going to have an 81st procedure, her 81st surgery. Now, that doesn't count all the smaller things that she's done over the years, which adds up to close to 200. She had a horrible wreck 35 years ago, and over the years, her body's just taken a beating with it.

She eventually had to lose her legs, and she lives with relentless pain. We've had a 90, 100 doctors treat her. It's hard to keep count of those. Seven different hospitals. No, 12 different hospitals, seven insurance companies, and more than $10 million in medical bills, and that number is probably way out of date. So we've been doing this for a while, and the family caregiver is an at-risk individual, and this is why I'm so grateful that American Family Radio is doing this show, because family is the middle name of American Family Radio. And if the family caregiver goes down, what are the repercussions for the rest of the unit, for that individual who's impaired? There are so many people that the family caregiver is serving as the hub for and goes unrecognized. And that's what this show is all about, the family caregiver. 888-589-8840.

888-589-8840, if you want to be on the show. Now, we're going to talk about fear today. Fear is a big, big issue for family caregivers. And I have this—over the years, I've developed this understanding that caregivers get lost in what I call the fog of caregivers. That's fear, obligation, and guilt.

Fear, obligation, and guilt. And just like any other fog, when you get to it, it can disorient you. You have to slow down.

You have to just slow down, because if you try to race through this, you're going to wrap yourself around a tree, go in a ditch, go off a cliff, hit someone else. And the fog of caregivers is the same way any fog would. It just limits your ability, it disorients you, and fear is the first part of the fog of caregivers. And we caregivers live with a lot of fear. What are we going to do if this happens? What about this? How are we going to deal with this?

And all these questions come racing at us. Now, if you're struggling with that this morning, if fear is heavy on your mind, this is the place for you. Now, don't wait until the end of the show to call, because what happens is we get them all stacked up, and then we have to quickly get out because of the showtime. So if you're struggling with this, this is the time to call 888-589-8840. All right, I'm going to give it one more time, and then we've got to get on with the show here.

888-589-8840. All right, fear, obligation, and guilt. Fear. I was talking about this with someone the other day, and they said, well, what are we going to do about this? What are we going to do about this? And I said, in my martial arts training, my instructor is a self-defense class that I do, and I'm in the process now of earning my third degree black belt. And my instructor said, fight what's closest. Fight what's closest. And so I shared this with this man, and I said, if you've got an enemy that's 100 yards away and an enemy that's five yards away, you fight the one that's closest. He said, well, what if that one that's closest whoops you? And I said, well, you don't have to worry about the other one then. And what happens is we are so busy living in the wreckage of our future that we're not thinking straight. Now, Paul addressed this to Timothy in his letter to Timothy in chapter one. I don't have my glasses on, so I can't read it, so I'm going to do it from memory. But I think a lot of you all know this one from memory. God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind.

Power, love, and a sound mind. Now, I'm going to go ahead and go out on a limb and say a lot of you as caregivers, if you've been doing it for any length of time, understand that our sound mind can get compromised very quick because we become unreasonable when we're living with fear. We become afraid, and it takes us into some crazy places. Now, if you're saying, no, Peter, that's not what my life is like. I'm not doing that.

Well, then you probably haven't been a caregiver long enough because I haven't met any caregiver that doesn't get that way. What are we going to do? How are we going to do this? And we're just running around like rats in a maze sometimes. But God says, no, He hadn't given you a spirit of fear.

He's given you power, love, and a sound mind. Now, the things that we look at are very challenging to look at, and they are indeed frightful, frightening, and we're frightful people. So we have to constantly retrain our mind on this.

Now, please understand that I am not saying this from some mountaintop like I own this. I'm doing this myself every day. I have to do this every day. I'm still a caregiver. I'm on this journey with you.

But see, this is how we get strong, is that we will connect with each other, we'll remind each other of these things. I have caregiver amnesia. I have gospel amnesia. I need to be reminded of the gospel every day in my life. If I need to be reminded of the great gospel every day of my life, how much more do I need to be reminded of these things of caregiver principles? And see, that's the journey.

I'm not going to spin this show telling people how to deal with insurance companies and so forth. I mean, we'll get into that. We'll touch on it. We'll brush on that. But once you got it, you got it. But this area of fear, oh, honey, man, it will wear you out.

It will wear you out. So we're going to spend some time on that. We're going to start, we're going to open up the phone lines, and we're going to just jump right into it. We're going to go to Rosa. I don't know where she's calling from, but Rosa, are you with us? Good morning, Rosa. She's not ready to go on air. Well, we'll get to Rosa in just a minute.

Hang on just a second. And we want to spend time talking to you about it. I had a situation where you basically were going, I was going to go into the hospital with my wife for, she had a back surgery. She came out of surgery, and she had an infection. And the doctor pulled me aside and said, look, we've got a protocol for what we have to do for this. And she's going to have to be here for three months.

She's not going to be able to lift up more than 15 degrees. And we have to go in every other day and irrigate this infection out. Okay. And they looked at me and I had two small children at home. And I kind of mumbled over looking over at the wall. I remember where I was standing in the hospital room and I said, I can't do this for three months.

And he said, you're not going to do it for three months. You're going to do it for 24 hours. And that's how we're going to get through it. We're going to break this thing down to right here and right now.

And that's, I wish I had some kind of, you know, wonderful formula we can follow, but we don't. We just deal with right here and right now. And we're going to trust God in it right here and right now. He hasn't given us a spirit of fear, but power, love, and a sound mind. How does your mind feel today?

How are you doing? 888-589-8840. 888-589-8840. This is Peter Rosenberger. This is Hope for the Caregiver on American Family Radio. This is the nation's number one show for the family caregiver. And it's your show and it's your time.

Your phone lines are open. We'll be right back. I'd just like to thank AFR for all they do. It's like a cup of coffee in the morning.

It picks me up and keeps me humming right along the rest of the day. Make every day a good day with the good news of our great Lord, the Savior, Jesus Christ. They say garbage in and you get garbage out.

But on the flip side, if you get good stuff in, you're going to have good stuff coming out. And I'd just like to thank AFR for giving me good stuff every day, helping me on my walk with the Lord. I just want to thank AFR for all of their programming. I just love that you give us the truth.

And also for preaching God's Word and lining up whatever you say with the Word of God. We're grateful to hear story after story of how God is using this ministry. Would you help support this life changing effort? Join us for our three day share-a-thon starting Tuesday, October 16th on listener supported American Family Radio. We appreciate you all and keep up the good work.

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That's AFASTORE.NET. When I think of all He suffered And His life He gladly offered I know my sins pierced His holy hands But the nails are not what held Him It was love that compelled Him To give His life so that I might live Heaven's not going to run Welcome back to the show for caregivers on American Family Radio. I'm over talking Peter right now because I have a question for him. Oh, well, thank you very much, Jim. Go ahead. Yes, sir.

Thank you. You know, that's one of the benefits of having the control board right in front of you. You know, it makes you all powerful for a moment. No, that was funny. That was funny. No, Jim, let me handle the heavy lifting on the humor.

God love you. Hey, you had mentioned that Gracie is about to undergo another procedure. But when you hear songs like that from her project, how much does that encourage you? Oh, listen, that voice of hers has echoed down more hospital rooms than I can recall. And it's astonishing to hear her sing. She sang yesterday for a cousin who passed away.

She was 98 years old. And Gracie got up and sang Vom and Gilead, which she doesn't. You can hear that.

You get that on iTunes. And it's an extraordinary what she does to that with her voice. And her voice is such a powerful one. And it's I remember I think the best way I know to describe what Gracie's voice does to me is when she came out of surgery, following the amputation of her remaining leg, she'd already lost her left leg several years earlier. I mean, her right leg. And now she lost her left leg. So she's she's coming out of surgery and she's laying on the gurney. She's half under anesthesia and her hands are lifted in the air as they're wheeling her into intensive care. I was there with her. They let me go back there with, you know, with all the stuff I've been through with her. And she's singing the doxology. Praise God from whom all blessings flow.

Praise. I mean, it was just it was one of those kind of moments when you just like, what does she know? What does she know about Jesus that I need to know?

Right. And I think that she said something once. And this is in her book. You can get her book.

It's called Gracie's Standing with Hope. When she gave up her leg, she didn't the first one. She this was a very scary thing. She's a young mother and she was giving up her right leg. And she said, I don't know what's on the other side of the operating room door, but I know who is. And I think that's in our subject today is fear.

We're dealing with fear. And she's faced about as horrific of things as you can face. She's lived with so much pain and yet she sings. And when she sings, she transcends all that because it just takes her into just a different place.

And all of that emotion, all of that stuff comes out. And it's and it's her preaching to herself. And I think one of my favorite scriptures, Jim, is David at Ziklag, King David at Ziklag, when his men were about ready to stone him. And he that all their possessions and their families have been carted off by the Malachites.

And they were actually picking up rocks. And it says David encouraged himself in the Lord. I think that's what we as caregivers do when when that fear hits. And that's what I watch Gracie do when she sings. She's encouraging herself in the Lord. She's not singing for you or me.

She's singing for herself and encouraging herself in the Lord to be strong in the midst of this thing. So when you guys talk about hope for the caregiver, that wasn't a random name for the program. You guys know the hope that lies within. Tell our folks, because folks, we don't pay Peter for this show on Saturday morning. We don't pay him to get up and take an hour out of his day and share with us here at AFR and with you, the listener. By the way, the phone lines are open. We have a couple of calls standing by at 888-589-8840, 888-589-8840. Peter, tell our folks where they can get a couple of the resources.

And I'm going to turn the show back over to our host, Peter Rosenberg. Standing with Hope dot com. Standing with Hope dot com. And you can go out there, you can get Gracie's book, the music, you can download it.

She's got some wonderful duets she's done with Joni Eareckson-Tada that you can download from iTunes or Amazon. And her book is available. You can support what we're doing through our prosthetic limb outreach that we do to amputees in West Africa. If you know somebody who has a used prosthetic limb that the family member had passed away or something, they don't know what to do with it, we'll take it.

We can recycle it. Standing with Hope dot com. And then my book is out there. It's called Hope for the Caregiver. You can get that out there.

My new book will be coming out next month, October 1. Seven caregiver landmines and how you can avoid them. And we're talking about one of those landmines today is fear. But let's get right to the phone lines. I think we have Randy in Indiana. Randy in Indiana.

Randy, good morning. Are you with us? Yes, I am. Can you hear me all right? I can. How are you feeling? I'm feeling pretty good.

This program is just exactly the kind of program I need at this point. And mine is just as much as I want to learn about what you got to say. I've got a story that I want to share. My granddaughter is in Vanderbilt Children's Hospital. She'll be six months old day after tomorrow. She was born with what they call heterotaxy syndrome. Her heart is on the wrong side. Her pulmonary artery and stuff is going the wrong way. And she's born without a spleen. Her lungs is both the same size.

And she's just she's had a lot of trouble. And my daughter, we actually knew this during the whole birth that this was going to happen. And she actually was never supposed to left the hospital without having the surgery, but she did. And ironically, the baby's name was Gracie. They named her Gracie for the grace of God. My son in law and my daughter are fairly new Christians.

They're in their fourth year and they both had problems in their life and they come together out of their problems. And buddy, they dove in for the Lord. I mean, they dove in at first. How are they how are they holding up with all this, Randy? Well, you know, she went into the hospital.

Let me say this. She like I said, she wasn't supposed to left the hospital without the surgery. She'd been home for five months. She's just she's just a miracle child. And she went into the hospital August 30th.

And during this. What they call when I put a camera up in her heart and look around, it's like a scope. She had a little setback and the doctor was in the room talking with us and telling us what what how everything went. A nurse come in and got the doctor and a couple of minutes later, a nurse come back and told us they was in there doing CPR on baby Gracie right now.

So we had a major, major scare. How are how are how are her parents doing, though? I want you to answer.

Tell me that one. I need to know how her parents are doing. They're doing as good as they can do with their strength of their faith and they're doing as good as they can do.

Neither one of them has left the hospital since August 30th. They're they're like guards on through one sleep, one stays awake. Maybe Gracie don't wake up without saying one of them at any time.

But I tell you what, I tell you what I want to do. Randy, I'm going to put you on hold and I'm going to let Jim get all your information and I'm going to send you a CD. It's called Songs for the Caregiver. And I specifically did this CD for family caregivers who were in hospitals and back and forth all the time. And it's very calming. It helps them kind of tune out the whole world. It's got great hymns on it.

Gracie singing about half of it. It'll just absolutely wash all over them. And it will it will guide them through these if they need to just sit in a chair and put headphones on and just be still and catch some sleep.

It helps them rest. I did it specifically for caregivers to sleep or weep, but weep in a healthy manner because we do need to weep, but we don't need to weep with rage and despair. So if you'll just hang on. I'm going to let Jim get some information.

I'm going to send this CD to you. Is that all right? All right. Let's go to Rebecca in Alabama. And Rebecca, good morning.

How are you feeling? Oh, good. It's so good to speak with you. Thank you.

Well, thank you. Now, listen, by the way, we might have to go up against the clock here on the break. So stay with me. But I'll we'll guide you through that. But tell me what's on your heart and mind. Okay.

My mother is in late Alzheimer's and currently she's under care, hospice, hospice care at home, but under hospice care. And I guess my biggest problem or concern right now is how how to show her love, how to how to love her. And. Well, let's let's start with some basics.

Let's let's start with some basics. Does she know you? Yes.

Most of the time, yes. Is she warm? She's in a good place where she's warm, clean, fed, cared for. Rebecca. Well, we lost Rebecca, so hopefully she'll call back here. But let me let me answer her question in case she's been able to listen, but her phone just cut off, by the way, 888-589-8840, 888-589-8840. But she wanted to know how to show love to her mother, who's in. Hospice with evidently the latter stages of Alzheimer's.

Let's start with the basic. So if she's warm, she's clean, she's fed, she's cared for all of those things. That's the starting point to make sure that she's properly cared for.

Now, if she doesn't know you, it's very difficult to build a one sided relationship like that. But you're honoring the woman that she is, you're honoring who she is by caring for what she's become. And as Alzheimer's slowly, it's a horrific disease, and it slowly is overtaking her. And as they say, they call it the long goodbye for a reason. As it overtakes her, you're honoring her and you're showing her love by caring for her, caring for this vessel that housed her spirit for her life.

And her mind may be gone or almost gone, and a lot of times a caregiver feels very guilty if they're not trying to engage and talk. And so it may not be possible. It is what it is.

But you are showing love in a profound way by caring for her like you do it. And there are things that are fear worthy and we fear them. But what is what is. Go back to our scripture today.

He's not given us a spirit of fear, but a power and love and a sound mind. And that's how we do it. That's how we do it every day. We're going to say, OK, I'm doing the things that are responsible right here in front of me.

Love, caring for her. And I'm not going to fear what's coming down and I'm not going to be guilty about it because I'm doing everything that I can do. Hey, sweet family, this is Lauren from Living Life with Lauren, and it's my heart's desire to be salt and light, just as Jesus instructed his followers to be. I want us to help one another along the way as we face challenges of this life.

But going through it together sure does make the road easier, doesn't it? I want to thank you for listening, downloading our podcast and connecting with me on Facebook at Living Life with Lauren. This is your invitation to join me Saturday evenings at eight central time for laughter and tears right here on American Family Radio. Why did God make teachers? Welcome to Tips with public school educator Dr. Bill Ziegler. Kevin Huff wrote this poem about teachers. When God created teachers, he gave us special friends to help us understand his world and truly comprehend the beauty and wonder of everything we see and become a better person with each discovery. When God created teachers, he gave us special guides to show us ways in which to grow so we all can decide how to live and how to do what's right instead of wrong. To lead us that we can lead and learn how to be strong. Why God created teachers in his wisdom and his grace was to help us to learn to make our world a better, wiser place. We at Christian Educators celebrate the profession of teaching and we want to connect teachers around the country with a network of fellow Christian teachers in public school. Email me today and I'll send you a free associate membership to Christian Educators Association International.

You can email Bill by visiting his website at 4tips.org. Rejoice, evermore. I'm alive, lift up my voice above the chaos and the noise. A summer hope amidst the pain, I shout this song against the rain. Rejoice, evermore. Welcome back to the show For Caregivers About Caregivers hosted by a caregiver.

This is Peter Rosenberger. I am so grateful that you're with us here. This is American Family Radio's commitment to the family caregiver and if you want to be on the show, it's very easy to do. It's 888-589-8840. 888-589-8840 and you can join us. We lost Rebecca a minute ago. I think I answered her question but I'm going to go ahead and I think we'll jump right into it, Rebecca. Rebecca, are you still with us now? Yes, I'm sorry. That's alright if you get disconnected but did you hear my response to your question? No, but I can go back later and listen to that.

Well, I'll go real quickly for those just joining the show and you were struggling but how to show love to your mother who's in the latter stages of Alzheimer's and she's in a hospice care. Yes. And I went through the inventory of is she warm, is she fed well, is she clean, is she safe and all those things are addressed and I think that we were able to get that far that you said those things were happening. Is that right?

Yes. Then you're doing what you can. She doesn't always know who you are and as Alzheimer's slowly takes her down this path where she's taken away from you, you're honoring her to the very best of your abilities to do that. You're not going to be able to have the kind of relationship that you once had with her. You'll have moments and I think music and do you play some music while she's there? Sometimes I'll just sing to her but I don't have anything set up in her room that I can play music on but I haven't done that yet. Bring something that you can play some music on, a CD player so forth and play hymns. Did she grow up in the church?

Yes. Those hymns will be able to be restarted in her brain. I mean that's the thing about dementia and so forth is that they can't necessarily remember new things but they have a filing cabinet with a lot of old things that are still there. And that's what I think to her, the older hymns. Well, do that and download my songs for the caregiver.

That's why I did it. It's full of hymns and some of them are just instrumental, some of them are gracie singing but that's what you can do but do that and then read to her. Does she like you to read to her?

I haven't done that either. Read scripture to her, read some psalms to her and just, you know, soft reading and just read to her. This is going to be one way with you two right now, okay? She's not going to be able to really give back a whole lot. Now there'll be moments when she'll have a spark but she's not going to be able to do a whole lot but you can't and you wanted to know how to show love to her in this. That's how you do it. You just read to her, you sit with her, you pray over her, you sing to her, all those kinds of things and you're doing what you can.

Go ahead. And the actual presence with her is what I struggle with is because it just seems like to get other things done I have to leave her alone for extended periods. I don't mean alone in the house, I just mean in another part of the house. But I just hate to be away with, away from her and she's awake and you know, I can't just be there with her. Well, you can't be with her twenty-four seven. I mean, you have, that's not showing her love. That's hurting the one person that is caring for her which is you. And you're not showing her love by hurting her caregiver. So, you gotta have to do what you gotta do to stay healthy financially or your job or whatever, paying the bills and doing all those kinds of things.

You got to get rest yourself, you got to take care of yourself physically, emotionally, fiscally, spiritually, all of those things. You're showing her love by caring for the one person that's standing between her and even worse, disaster. And that's you. So, if you, if something happens to you, what happens to her? Right.

No, no, go ahead and answer. What's the plan? What's the plan if something happens to you? Well, I really don't have that much family around. I just provide for her financially but I don't have a, I guess I don't have an ongoing plan to set up.

So, the plan is for you to stay healthy. So, you're, you want, you're, you started off the whole thing with how do I show love to her in this? You show love to her by taking care of the one person standing between her and even worse challenges. And you don't need to feel guilty about it. Because you're doing what is absolutely necessary. Think about if this was somebody else. And we caregivers are like this. I wouldn't hang around somebody who treats me the way I treat myself.

How about you? I hear you. And we treat ourselves without mercy. We beat ourselves up all the time. And we think we should be doing this, we should be doing this, and we put all this stuff on us.

But really, where are we going with that? And so, what I'm asking you to do is take a step back a little bit and realize that as her caregiver, as the one person in her life that is hovering over her and watching over her and ensuring that she's being provided for, the best way you can love her at this point is to make sure you're in a healthy place. That's the best thing you can do. And that means, that means you've got to take a little bit of a break. When you go do the things that you do, and she's awake while you're gone, it's okay. You'll have another moment like that. And if you don't, it's okay because you made the best of the moments that you had. You're singing over her. You're praying over her. You're doing all these things that you should be doing that you want to be doing.

So, the challenge is, is that can you walk away from this and be responsible for the other areas of your life without torquing yourself with all this guilt? Because I sense that's what you're feeling. Am I hitting the mark on that? Yes. Well, instead of guilt, did you hear the beginning of the show when I talked about the fog of caregivers?

I didn't hear the very beginning, no. Okay, the fog of caregivers, fear, obligation, and guilt. And we get lost in this fog. And so, what I have learned over the years is to replace that guilt with grace. I need grace so much in my life that I married a woman named Grace.

And we replace that guilt with grace to realize, I'm going to give myself some grace here. What you're doing, Rebecca, is extraordinary. What you're doing is painful. It is hard.

It is consuming. And I'm asking you for a leap of faith to say, you know what, it's okay to give Rebecca some grace in this. Okay. Would you try that? Would you try that?

Yes, yes, definitely, thank you. Well, listen, and when's the last time you saw your own doctor? Recently.

Okay. In the last couple of weeks, yes. You get an annual physical regularly, that kind of stuff? Yes. Are you able to go to church?

No. Do you have a church that you are a member of? I attended my mother's church when she was going. I went with her. I mean, I took her, so that was the church I went to. Do you feel comfortable going there? Do you like going there?

Yes. Do you think you could slip in maybe tomorrow for a service? Yeah, I would have to work on that because I feel guilty going and leaving her at home. But she has hospice. She's got somebody there with her, right?

Not on an ongoing basis, no. If I go out for errands or something, I just go for an hour or so, and there's no one here with her during that time. How far is the church away from the home? If I have to go longer than an hour, then someone will be here. How far is the church away from the home?

Oh, about 15 minutes. All right, well, when you get a moment, when you feel right for it, if you feel comfortable with it, ask your pastor that, you know, say, look, I'd like to be able to come to church. Is there somebody that maybe could sit with her while I come to church just once a month, once every other week or something?

Do you have some kind of way to help me with something like that? Just to sit with her. They don't have to do anything. Just sit with her so I know she's safe so I can come and worship. And if your pastor is unresponsive to that, then find another church. Okay? No, I don't think it would be.

Yes, thank you. So that's a good way for the church to help you. You know, churches can do this, and this is what I'm on a mission to do is help pastors and churches know what it looks like to help a caregiver. And if they can provide some kind of respite care for just an hour to sit with your mother while you go to church and corporately worship without feeling guilty, without feeling all these emotions going on, you can just sit there and just listen to a good sermon, sing praises with a corporate worship. These are important things for you to do. And if they can just do this once a month for you to come, that'd be a great start towards ministry, wouldn't it?

Yes, it would. Well, Rebecca, listen, try those things. Try those things, okay? I will. And then let me know, okay? This is your show. This is your show. Now, you don't have to leave the house. You can call in this show every Saturday morning if you want, okay? This is your show. Thank you, Pete. You're quite welcome. Thank you for calling.

Okay. That's a way for, excuse me, I've been fighting this thing here with the crud, but that's a way for churches to get involved. Look for people that are struggling in your congregation that you haven't seen in a while, the shut-ins and so forth.

Ask their caregiver, can we work out something to sit with them maybe once a month so you can come in? Maybe you can do it more. You know, Jesus had four things he asked us for, and he was pretty serious about it. Sick, naked, hungry, and in prison.

Sick, naked, hungry, and in prison. Go back and look at the text, and he's pretty serious about it. Can you help be a part of that?

I think you can. This is Hope for the Caregiver on American Family Radio. This is Peter Rosenberger. We'll be right back.

888-589-8840. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. They go walking and leaping and praising God. You can be a part of that at standingwithhope.com.

On American Family Radio, this is Barry McGuire. I'm a car guy, and I'm here to help you understand God's purpose for your life through the eyes of a layman. As a Christian, the only thing better than sharing your faith the first time is doing it the second time, and when you're doing it every day, that's when the fun begins. The fun of knowing the Holy Spirit is guiding you into life-changing conversation, even with people you don't know. It's knowing beyond all doubt that God is orchestrating your life to fulfill His purpose, and the truth is most of the people around you want to know more about Jesus, and guess what? God is expecting you to tell them, and it doesn't end there. Jesus promised that as you bear fruit for His glory, you'll have more joy than you've ever experienced in your life. There's nothing like sharing your faith, not even close, so why would you want to miss out on that? Oh, you don't. Your job is to ignite revival outside the walls of your church by moving everyone every day closer to Jesus.

If you need help doing that, go to ROTW.com. Welcome back to the show for Caregivers About Caregivers hosted by a caregiver. I am Peter Rosenberg bringing you three decades of experience to help you stay strong and healthy as you take care of someone who is not. That's my wife, Gracie, singing the fabulous Keith Green song, I Want to Be More Like Jesus. Hey, listen, we're going to quick get back to the phones here because time is creeping up to the top of the hour.

If you want to be on the show, there's still time, but it is 888-589-8840, and we're going to go to Kim in Ohio. Kim, good morning, Kim. How are you feeling? Oh, I'm fine. How are you, sir? Well, for a man of my age and limited abilities, I think I'm doing okay.

Well, then that's all we can expect. What you got on your heart and mind today? Well, you know, it's a funny thing how God works in your life because I have a son. Hey, Kim, can you turn your radio down? Oh, yeah. Hold on. I'm sorry. That's all right. I have a son now. Turn it all the way down.

I was married. Kim, I need you to turn your radio off, actually. There you go. All right, go ahead. Is that better? That's much better. Go ahead.

Okay. Anyway, I had a child at 23, my only child, and it was in, of course, a married relationship. He had other children, and I was the person, and I said, oh, I don't want to, you know, have children.

I'll help take care of this because I had a mother that was married three times, a devout wife, and just got with some wrong people, you know. But anyway, it was so funny how God works because I had my son, and he came out, and he was, like, born with underdeveloped kidneys. He's now 32 years old, and I think God spoke to me and told me, I'm going to teach you what the love of a child is, because that was something all my life that he embedded me in this fear thing that you're speaking about. That was fear from the day he's been born. He's had two transplants.

He's 32. He's getting ready to go and try to have a third transplant. And he said, Mom, the only thing I regret is I did not take my medicine when I was supposed to.

He would have probably had the second kidney. And it's something that God has been put on my heart, and I never knew how much a person can love another person in a situation of sickness. I find it very comforting that I can turn to God, because he's already passed so many expectations. And, you know, I asked him, I said, if you go through this again, this is bringing me to my knees. You know, I can't, because I was in the hospital constantly working, providing insurance for the family, and I had to retire early because I had to do peritoneal dialysis on him at home. And it's amazing, because now he has a son, and it's like I see the circle come full circle around. I said, Justin, do you think Wyatt was born?

Maybe he can give you a kidney. And he said, Mom, I won't take it from Wyatt. I won't do it that way. And so I said, well, that's up to you. Kim, let me slip in here just a second, because we've got so many calls lined up here.

Let me just ask you a real quick question. How are you feeling about all this? Well, my health is starting to go down. And what steps are you taking on that? I just recently have had to go and have some leg work and things done for myself. Are you following all the things that your doctor is asking you to do? I'm going to ask you a bunch of, I'm going to give you kind of the lightning round here, Kim, because I want to be able to squeeze in as many calls as I can. Are you doing what is necessary for you to be healthy?

I've just tried to start doing that. All right. Will you kind of commit to this group that are listening?

There are thousands and thousands of people listening to you right now. Will you just commit to them that you've raised your son, he's got a son of his own now. Don't try to speculate or live what's going on with him. He's a grown man.

He can handle his own stuff. But you have a responsibility to you to take care of the one body that God gave you. And will you commit to that with us that you're going to do what is necessary? You're going to listen to these doctors.

You're going to do what they tell you to do, and you're going to start taking better care of yourself. Will you start with that today? Yes, I will. That's a great place, and I want you to follow back with us on it, okay? Okay. Can I make one comment?

Sure. I had an uncle that told me once, he works with some doctors. He was a laborer, and he built homes for them. And he said that the doctors would say that they would go in the operating room, and they would be doing surgery on somebody, and they would not know what to do. And he said that their hands just took over and started doing the work.

The work of God. And they said they've had it happen to them many times. I couldn't believe that was coming from a doctor's mouth. Well, I've heard it myself, but the training kicks in, and then they just do what they've got to do. But right now, we want you to do what you've got to do, because you need to live to see your grandchildren, okay?

Yes. And enjoy them. I've got to run now, Kim, and I'm going to move on over, but thank you for sharing that with us. I really appreciate your call, and thank you for listening on it. And let's go to Donna and Virginia. Donna, are you with us this morning? Yes, I am. How are you?

And this is a great show and much needed, so thank you for that. Well, I'm fine. Thank you. And how are you feeling? I'm doing great. I'm no longer a caregiver.

I was one briefly. And this woman was in a hospice program in my home, and the hospice program that she was here in Richmond, they will come in for an hour or two to give you a chance to go out and do things, rather than just leave that person without anyone there, in case there is a need to make sure they don't get up and go out of the house or get into anything. Well, and there are plenty of services like that in a lot of metro areas.

In rural areas, it's not so much. But the best thing I can recommend for folks, and I thank you for bringing that up, is to first off talk with the doctor and ask the doctor to connect you up with a social worker or somebody that would have access to those types of programs. Social workers are an undervalued resource, sadly, because they have their fingers on the pulse of what's going on in that community. So the best way to get in touch with one is to start with your physician. A lot of physicians are now – in fact, I know a lot of physicians here in Nashville that have social workers on staff in their office, particularly dealing with Alzheimer's and things like that, and they'll have social workers there. And that's a great resource to have because they'll know what's going on in these programs.

A lot of people, like you said, Donna, they don't know that these things are available. And so that's a good idea because it's never a good idea to leave somebody alone that's an at-risk person. You know, Gracie can certainly manage by herself here for several hours, but I need to be here or somebody needs to be here overnight and things such as that with her that she can't be alone for that kind of stuff. There's too many at-risk issues with her. And so – and I've got people that I use for that.

When their minds are not right, they really need to have somebody there all the time because you never know what they might do because they're not in control of their minds. Well, and Gracie said the same thing about me. When my mind is not right, she won't – no, I'm just kidding. I think we can make a case for that, Donna. Well, Donna, I want you to know how much it means to – where are you listening in Virginia? What state – you're in Richmond.

Okay. What station are you listening to in Richmond? Richmond, Virginia. Oh, this is AFR 88.1, American Family Radio.

88.1 in Richmond, Virginia. Well, thank you for listening and a big shout out to all the folks there in Richmond. And I appreciate you calling in, Donna. Thank you. Take care. Thank you.

You too. Listen, we're going to stay with this whole theme of fear here before we leave here. I just want you to know that fear will paralyze people.

It will torque you. It will rob you of tomorrow. I mean, rob you of today and tomorrow and sometimes of yesterday. One of the things a friend of mine told me, he said, don't live in the wreckage of your future. Now, we caregivers tend to be a little bit pessimistic. We always think it gets dark just before it gets darkest.

And what I'm asking you to do, if this is where you're struggling, this is where you're living, what I'm asking for you to do is to take a leap of faith that you can be joyful, calm in the midst of this right now. Now, here's how I know this. Go back and look at the story in Acts where Paul and Silas were stripped and beaten. And then their feet were put in stocks and they were put into jail. And a guard was assigned to them and basically said, just stand over these guys and watch them. At midnight that night, now they'd been stripped and beaten and put in stocks and they were in a jail. And at midnight they were singing hymns.

Now, what did they know about Christ that we need to know? We can sing hymns around midnight. A lot of us are up at midnight doing a lot of work and we can sing hymns. That's available to us. That same peace, that same joy, that same conviction of God's presence is available to you right now.

Would you take a leap of faith and put your scared hand into his scarred hands? This is Peter Rosenberg and this is hope for the caregiver. We are so grateful that you listen to us today. We'll see you next week. This is American Family Radio, a listener supporting ministry of the American Family Association. Register. Connect.