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Woman caring for ailing mother comes home to needy husband.

Hope for the Caregiver / Peter Rosenberger
The Truth Network Radio
February 25, 2019 10:54 pm

Woman caring for ailing mother comes home to needy husband.

Hope for the Caregiver / Peter Rosenberger

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February 25, 2019 10:54 pm

A woman struggling with her needy husband while she cared for her mother ...posted her frustration online in a Facebook group. The "advice" she got from members ...appalled me, so I weighed in to the discussion.Nancy from Jacksonville called in response to what I told this woman ...and we had a lovely spirited discussion about it!This and more from 02/24/2019

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Peter Rosenberger
Hope for the Caregiver
Peter Rosenberger
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Peter Rosenberger
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And and hopefully trigger this is Peter Rosenberger.

I will glad that you are with more than three decades of experience as a caregiver to help you stay strong and healthy as you take care of someone who is not how does that happen, but it starts with helping the family caregiver deal with the reality that is going on with their own challenges their own heart their own issues that they're struggling with. And you backed them away from the cliff of of some very difficult heart spaces and head spaces that lead folks into very difficult situations. You see, I'm of the mindset that as a caregiver you're not in a situation where you to make good decisions.

If your your head is squarely not financial decisions, not emotional decisions, not relationship decisions. Any of those things so you know doesn't do much good to throw all kinds of solutions that somebody if they are just in such despair or their fist or just clenched with rage or they are, they have lost themselves. They are of their struggle to even breathe there not go to their own doctor. Their documents see a counselor they're not going to eat healthier.

Any of those things until you can help them understand a path to safety. And that's what the show was all about 800-688-9522 800-688-9522 if you want to be on the show and if you feel like you're standing on the cliff.

If you feel like your head is squarely. This is the place I know how you been doing this for 30 some years.

Here's a caregiver. I got a lot of squarely things going on in my head spigot escorted things going on. Here's the hips them the bear to the board. The salt of the sound, the Earl of engineering. The man was so sharp that water balloon sitting hate mail he is John Butler. The count of muddy disco. Everyone is welcome back by well, thank you very much like a bit of Montana for lo these many months and it is a different sensation to come back into oh by the way just for those you in the middle Tennessee area that are listing that bright shiny thing up in the sky. That's the sign while and I came back from big sky country into no sky country yeah I know watches and coming in his life. Hello, this is, this was a jolt, but speaking of jolt are you doing grandma but I'm just lovely. I'm sorry I don't have Facebook live going right now I'm having some technical difficulties now. Well, this is the thing that can be run it on. I know it's an audio thing right. It is an audio thing and I but I don't have anybody to to run in here with me. I am staff deficient here yeah yeah hear your little shorthanded spigot short of just now. Eyes while they say that for the rest. A shot at us to exit a stack of stuff here. I want to get to. I will start with a caregiver tip of the day and I am a member of several online groups for caregivers. I'm so sorry will I watch yes.

I don't anticipate very much but I do what I say that ingest guys I could be a little bit gnarly on their but I watch by the way, 800-688-9522. Let me give this lower your for those you in McDuck 800-688-9522 and we would love to have you on the show. It would that's very specific things were to get into today. I think you like what you're going to hear, but I think some very meaningful maybe tougher. Some of you, but stay with me okay I was watching some posting and the lady was posting she take care of her mother a believer who has dementia or something to that effect, and she said that her marriage is struggling, and she doesn't want to do know this is a common problem yeah and I looked at the people responding back to her and this is what they said were praying that you will be able to find time to show your husband that he's important to minute was at that point I made a face God it was that that point that my hands leapt to the keyboard and you just shrugged off your lurker stat I I threw myself fulltilt into that conversation and I said very diplomatically directly. I was forthrightly gay even and and I said it is not your responsibility to make your husband feel better about your pain and caring for your mother.

It is his responsibility for him to step up and learn to love sacrificially and without demands without expectations that is the key and if he can't do that. That is not your responsibility to make that happen. And so what were looking for out of that situation is for individuals who can recognize that I'm not responsible to make you happy if you don't like what's going on.

If you not are not happy with what's going on you that's not my responsibility. Butler, John. You killed all by headphone feet. It had you brought it back from the dead. Sorry about that I that was that was just had some some words of encouragement will thank you, but in but the point is is that they were these people were were were instructing this woman to go and make her husband feel better, but the fact that she's had to be a caregiver and I personally can't have a rough time with that I was I was indignant on her behalf that that she was somehow being put in this position that her husband was pouting because he was obviously not being cared for in a way that she would've liked yeah that he would've like you and she had the oldest was put on her to make you feel better that this is the agreement were getting out of small window into this situation so there could be all kinds of stuff going on. However, I saw enough of the window and I wasn't looking outside the window. I just thought they just put it on full display.

I was I was I was watching this dialogue and fall multiple women, multiple women were telling this woman to make her husband happier while she was cared for her mother and I stepped into that as a man, and I said Nay Nay no it doesn't work that way.

It does not work that way. If you are taking care of your mother or your father or anybody else, and you come home to a needy husband the needy husband has the problem not you well and last time I checked, marriages were ever teamwork sort of sport it is not for 5100 both sides, 100, 100 and you know what yeah you going to have some friction and moments like that. Somebody's going to pull the cart a little harder at different times right now. If you're taking care of a loved one with all kinds of impairments or any kind of impairment and then you got up a spouse that's over here, you know, basically with arms folded over hey what about me.

That person has a bigger problem than than just the surface issue going on. Gather some and and that's a demanding this and that's demanding.

This is not fair and it's not fair for this. This particular this case this woman to feel like somehow she's got to find some other reserve of energy so she can have a special time with her husband and and and you know I get that I understand it. I understand what's going on. I'm not clueless on this and I'm not without compassion about what went on with this couple, because what what I little bit indignant about is what's going on with these people that are speaking into it with sorry advice lousy advice. How bad, real bad, real bad, real bad thoughts and prayers bad with age. Yeah, I'm just like you know really that's what you offer. This woman is struggling because she's taking care of her mother and her husband is at odds with her and the vice. She's getting from people on Facebook is hey you know maybe you can carve out some more time just to make him feel special damages flew all over me and I'm thinking no that is not the way it works, what works is somebody needs to get a hold of this guy number one. First off tell these women on Facebook they were telling this woman be quiet. I did that in a very understandable way.

Okay I was I was not ambiguous in my response and an eye on what I wanted to make sure that this poor woman had better direction realize it is not her responsibility to make her husband happy about her suffering right now with her mother.

That is not a responsible to bring to the lady that called him one time. It's been a while, John, and she called in because she was taking care of her.

Her mother was 92 years old and she was just mean yeah and ends it.

She would start drinking again. This woman was had been sober for six years and her mother's behavior was just so antagonistic toward her and made one start drinking, she said, and I can't make her happy and I stopped her said your job is not to make her happy. Your jobs do the best you can to be the best steward you can of caring for her but she get you happy to sing shoes get mad in having the same shoes she got mad and L on T I'm I'm still not what you can and so and I said your job is to call your sponsor and and for you to go to a program and work your own recovery program because if you lose your sobriety.

Your mother's really up a creek and and so I think that that's the problem that a lot of caregivers faces somehow we think we gotta make everybody happy and you don't and that is our caregiver tip of the day is that you don't have to make everyone happy. That is not your responsibility. You have to eat it. It's your job to do the best you can to care for this person that is in your life that has impairment that is your responsibility but your job is not to make them happy or anybody else around you happy about what you're doing you do the best you can with our caregiver tip of the day brought you but This is Tennessee's chapter of AARP just dear friends of this program from the very beginning

Those are some resources that you can use today, go out and take a look and see what you can do to help make your life a little bit easier in this journey. This is the nations in once over the family caregiver. I am Peter Rosenberger and we're glad you're with us 800-688-9522 800-688-9522 will be right back you ever struggled to trust God when lousy things happen to you. I'm gracing Rosenberger in 1983 I experienced a horrific car accident leading 80 surgeries in both legs and became it. I questioned why God allowed something so brittle to happen to me.

But over time I questions changed and I discovered courage to trust God that understanding along with an appreciation for quality prosthetic limbs led me to establish standing with help more than a dozen years we been working with the government of Ghana and West Africa, equipping and training local workers to build and maintain quality prosthetic limbs for their own people on a regular basis. We purchased ship equipment and supplies and with the help of inmates in Tennessee prison. We also recycle parts from donated lambs. All of this is to point others to Christ. The source of my help and strength, please visit standing with to learn more and participate in lifting others that standing I'm Gracie. I am staining with help show for caregivers about caregivers hosted by caregiver, I am Peter Rosenberger.

This is hope for the caregiver. I am glad that you're with us 800-688-9522 I'm going to change up a little bit.

John just because watching the clock. Let's go to the phones. This is Nancy and Jacksonville Nancy good afternoon, how you feeling I like the woman care of her relative to talk to that guy went out in the average middle to low income America that usually when there is a man like that he will not talk to anyone. He feels he's right okay so I would think some of the invite and I hate Facebook. I think some of the advice that people gave her probably really realistic and that I go in and get himself in a healthy go talk to someone. He may not have any friends outside of work is probably true. However, the device device a given was not realistic device again was basically ended. This is a family show, but basically what what what you got is a needy husband whose wanton little Marvin Gaye music going on in the background and what I mean but she's got to. She's got to understand that she is not responsible for that particular part of his life. Whether or not they're able to work that out or not or anybody say something to him, but it starts with her realizing that she's not in somehow has to go out enable his behavior is when I went. I agree with a lot women aren't that strong. I'm not exactly upper back. Now I realize not to me that matter. I'm telling you meant I won't go talk to anybody continue with their behavior. You're exactly right. And most women may do that. And you're right, she may not be that strong. But that's what I do a show I have Dr. get her get her pastor involved with that get the counselor involved with, but she can learn to say no to him as well and I'm what why do the show is to strengthen the family caregiver and part of the family caregiver strengthening is learning to say no and not caregiver that I don't have been doing it for 32 years and saying no is a complete sentence and and that's that's what I want to do for my fellow caregivers is learn how to do this.

Men and women is to learn to say no to these things that are just pulling you down the spaz that are just so destructive destructive are heartbreaking and and there's I did a whole article on this about Valentine's Day about because I had a pastor calling to my show and he was basically struggling because his wife was taking care of her mother and basically her father and he was by vocational is working to the job and is been a pastor and he was basically feeling lonely and and I said will, and I stopped him and before he could wind any further and I said well who's doing the laundry and he said well I'm working to and I said he stopped because he realized he was talking to and and then I said you know who's cleaning the toilets. You know all the sinks, you know, if you love your wife as Christ loved the church and your pastor by the way, I would call you on it. I and and I'm going to push hard of the sky. So yes, somebody may not talk to this guy, but I will give that poor woman real down to earth.

I had me what how to connect people to connect will I did and that's what I'm talking about it on the show because I started off with the concept. You are not responsible for someone else feeling good about your suffering – the first thing that we start off with and you know you know I learned from my wife. My wife, she took the cover off of her prosthetic legs because she wanted to go swimming one time and she in their process. Told her that the foam around that thing would would would swell up and it would ruin so forth that she couldn't get in the water and she can't look anybody in the water she sing desolate thinking me from water is cosmetics, and so she tore off the cosmetic covering of her legs with the knife look like the Terminator man.

It was so freaky and yet she said this is how I'm going to live my life on my terms and if you're uncomfortable with my disability, that is your problem to work on it and so that's that's who I learned from and I thought you know that's a great life blessed to realize I don't have to make somebody comfortable with my suffering very good at and this is what I wanted to introduce that concept to this lady so that she would feel a little bit more empowered him and I can't fix it needs you and I can.

We both know that we can't do that and were never going to write 100% of the time but what we can do is we can start inching towards that particular destination so you know what I would get a little stronger today getting more story about your wife help people visualize that you know why yes it it it it doesn't require a full-blown military salt here were she said to go take your husband to just beat the crap out of them. But it does require her standing up and saying you know I'm tired, have you done the laundry, no hugging, no kissing till I get the laundry done kind of thing you know if you if I may paraphrase the Georgia satellites but but that's the thing, but Nancy you are a deer for calling and I'm so grateful that you took the time of this thank you problem to help us drive this home a little bit more would you keep calling I love you I love the fact that you called and want to talk about this. Thank you for that. All right, all right bye-bye all right, this is over the caregiver. This is Peter Rosenberger. This is the nation's number one show for the family caregiver work. It basically helps each fellow caregivers at a site that's really what do we want you to be stronger in this, we want you to be healthier. This, we want you to be joyful in this and you can be you really can be a promise you can have strong marriages. You can have all of those things you can continue to talk about this a little bit more. 800-688-9522 800-688-9522 will be right back you ever struggled to trust God when lousy things happen to you. I'm gracing Rosenberger in 1983 I experienced a horrific car accident, leading to 80 surgeries in both legs and became it. I questioned why God allowed something so brutal to happen to me.

But over time I questions changed and I discovered courage to trust God that understanding along with an appreciation for quality prosthetic limbs led me to establish standing with help more than a dozen years we been working with the government of Ghana and West Africa, equipping and training local workers to build and maintain quality prosthetic limbs for their own people on a regular basis. We purchased ship equipment and supplies and with the help of inmates in a Tennessee prison. We also recycle parts from donated lambs. All of this is to point others to Christ. The source of my help and strength, please visit standing with to learn more and participate in lifting others that standing I'm great things we do for love. Welcome back to the show for caregivers about caregivers hosted by caregiver, I am Peter Rosenberger bring you three decades of experience to help you stay strong and healthy as you care for someone who is not. And by the way, I am on Facebook live.

I got work and know how I got well if they could see me.

They can hear me but they cannot hear you… Not my fault.

It is not my fault. It is there something there, something amiss here, something arrives. Something smells fishy Denmark that helps you and I quote Shakespeare at you and you and you give me what yes I give you what that is what fours more like a 800-688-9522 800-688-9522 if you want to be on the show and again I'm sorry about about this thing with the Facebook love. I really try to do the show was is video of the year, but are adapters messed up I was here using the onboard microphone I am on board with it and and it's it in you know I'm just doing the best I can with what I got jotted to you now reside there.

Just got a lovely a few no format of my limited abilities and and so forth. But it's up would lead heavy with an 800-688-9522. We need to get straight to our today's senior moment on Joe Chad.

Today's senior moment, you know, and I just go through a series of these things here John because that's important to review on this, but is brought to you by morning morning memory care senior living center, memory care, because our today's senior moment see your dentist could see your dentist. I think sometimes we think that week.

We've come to forget about that as we get older. Some these little things but I'm not talking about just for cosmetics that's important you know it's always good to have pretty white teeth.

However, you get a lot of health issues going on, particularly as you get older and if you're not properly getting good dental care. You're running some risk of heart issues and other things, infections and things that you just cannot afford to have and also your love one that you're taking care of make sure they get to the dentist. There are dentist out there that understand their train.

They know how to deal with people that are older and and so forth they can deal with that but but and and that's why love that morning point is think they make sure that you and your love of your love one. It it comes there stays or if you're if you're to be the one.

This could retire there. Whatever all those things. They make sure you have access to all of those proper places to go for your health and so forth. But dentist is one of them and so pleased.

Do yourself a favor and continue to get good dental care because your heart is counting on it.

Okay, not just your smile, but your heart and who nice on you very little yeah, but I all right 800-688-9522 800-688-9522 do appreciate Nancy Cohen from Jacksonville and who was of the cauldron fell from Central Florida for Racquel. Thank you for listening know she was listening to Central Florida unknown no room from an undisclosed vast plains with Central Florida will we are thrilled for all of our listeners in Florida will welcome again W DEL in Delaware.

Just thrilled to have nothing was itself had not sure, but there there is an issue there, and we you would literally on from coast-to-coast and out all the folks at the end in Seattle. Listening on Salem and thank you for that and big shot at it in Dallas who was a real hero. While I was in Montana. We were connecting from Montana to here to Dallas to we still hear you doing the same day I see as an adhesive is a fun fun fella and so lots of things going on hope for the If you want to see more this going on this week it will be up on the 700 club with Pat Robertson right on the Delius. I'm vaguely aware of nearly done for him. Yeah, don't. I also pay attention you. I know exactly what is present. Not too terribly long. What I would say things I'll be on with him and then I got I was at Harvard's blog this week but last week. Now why God I did an article I did on that with Harvard okay and they picked up the story of their blog and so anyway just chimed and then he'll I got up and yells fluid thing on me as well. You know those crimson guys are, look down on out. I believe you know I look at the way you know I academically performed school, I was not exactly a model student know this is but no, I was not exactly a model sticks as you can imagine, but I appreciate this because I wrote about some things that on healthcare and just a posted on the on hope for the you go take a look see how I did and appropriate for you well and and I got more things coming on this issue, we we delve into a lot of issues I want to swerve into so that it would been kinda goofy here, but is your first week back, but I didn't want to briefly touch on this watch. I got actually paper Jon I have paper there is. This is a very serious issue. You want to swerve into this record, there is a man up in Montréal who was his name is something'm betting that's the assignment I don't know but anyway he was take care.

He's 57 years old. He was just sentenced to jail for manslaughter. He was thinking of his wife. Oh Jocelyn, and that early Alzheimer's early Onset by 2013, he was out of options exult, this is a reading from this from the Montréal Gazette exhausted and stretch, then mentally and financially.

He decided to have. Was it was not hospitalized over the next four years.

Court testimony document show he would continue to be worn down and burn out increasingly frustrated by the care she was receiving in 2017, a year after request for medical aid in dying.

He filed on her behalf was a judge, was a scribe reached his breaking point. While visiting her at a long-term care facility pressed a pillow against her face until she stopped breathing.

I snapped. He then posted to Facebook.

No one asked me how I was doing, but now you know that is in the Montréal Gazette and on Saturday, a jury found him guilty of manslaughter after month-long trial sentencing will begin on March 5. His lawyers have described the cases a personal, intimate story of a man was broken down by decade of helplessly witnessing his wife deteriorate. A judge described was an exhausted caregiver in the killing is an expression of physical, psychological, and moral exhaustion.

How do we respond this. This is why I do this show because I am asking how the caregivers doing and I do not let a caller go by a conversation go by when we talk about this when I do not ask the caregiver how the caregivers doing and I'm asking you to do the same thing if you know what caregiver asked the caregiver how are you feeling. Do not ask the caregiver if there's something you can do asked the caregiver how the caregiver is feeling. Please do that in his discussed case. He was first diagnosed with major depression around the same time he that is, he had finally had his wife hospitalized and is as early as 2013 that this happened in 2017 as early as 2017. He told the social worker he was. Not only suicidal but he was also having homicidal thoughts. He couldn't take. Seeing her in the state she was in the mornings watching the people take care of her and he would go in and she'd be just strapped to a chair and her head was all twisted off sideways collect this and she was just strapped to a chair and it just it just compounded more and more and more as a got worse and finally he just snapped. He said you can't live like this and any took his wife's life. This is why do a show this is why do a show for family caregivers.

These dark thoughts to get in the caregivers because of isolation and nobody's bothered Ashley caregiver.

How are you feeling we just had the whole thing.

The earlier the than the show where a lady was taking care of her mother and her husband's upset because he what she went take care of him and he didn't need the kind of care that she was giving as a caregiver and and and and to to compound the already stretched grief torn frustrated all the things going on Weary beyond belief. And if somebody doesn't intercept the caregiver and just stop for a moment and let them know that somebody notices them.

That's how you help a kid. That's how it starts. This is how it starts every time you look at them in the eye and you say I see you I see you and I see the magnitude of what your carry and I hurt with you. Now let's get to some help. He told the social worker. This I don't know if I been.

I've I'm just befuddled on why a social worker who is listening to a caregiver take care of his wife with also Mercedes feel suicidal, and why I didn't just start ringing alarm bells but I don't have any more information than what's in the Montréal Gazette here, but this is not the first time this is happened.

It won't be the last time this is happened wrote an article some time back about the going into the dark thoughts of caregivers speaking light into the and and it just starts with just seeing them, asking them how they feel, letting them know that their well-being, their emotional state is important and it's not the fact that it has to be right. It just we just want them to know it's important will worry about whether you know there it there mad, whatever that you don't try to talk them out of that tree. Just let them know you see them in the tree. I just spend some time with them while they're in the tree. Don't try to fix it. Just be present in it with them this guy. I mean this is his words this guy put a pillow over his wife's face in the hospital in the in the nursing home where the facility was but he said this is what he said he posted this on Facebook. No one asked me how I was doing, but now you know no one asked. I get that I went through decades of this, knowing that few people ever asked me how I was doing few people surgery after surgery after surgery was mounting with Gracie back and forth, back and forth and me just say for the record, I wasn't doing well Jon I was not doing well. I was a hot mess and people were asking and and and you also have to understand a lot. Caregivers will have stock answers that they will will come up with that I'm okay was stuck at your sometimes. But those of you who really know caregiver and know them press in don't don't just say hey I'm fine know you're not fun and let them know that it's okay for them not to be fine because now we can start from there and go to help but think this is this is why do the show and and and here it is. Glenn take a look at the Montréal Gazette is right there today in black and white.

This guy saying he's laying out the case on why we've got to reach family caregivers to people's lives down this woman's life is ended in this man's life pretty much is over as well is going to prison. I don't know how long sentencing is not for another couple weeks but listen to what they're looking there listening to. I mean this guy might as well be listening to the this the legislator of Hawaii that says you know what you can go and have a medically assisted death there there legalizing this now if he's listening to Gov. Northam of Virginia who said you could set a child that has deformity aside and have a discussion a little later. This is a natural consequence for these kinds of things. I mean, what in the world of Gov. Northam of Virginia. How does this guy I speak life to caregivers. Let them know that they are seen. Let them know that you understand the brutality of what they're dealing with come alongside them you're not to be able to fix it. You're not going be able to carry it, but you can be with them in it. This guy was isolated. That is one of the three eyes that every caregiver deals with the isolation, loss of identity and loss of independence and he was trying to do all of this by himself. He was caring for his wife to the best that he could and when it got to the point where he couldn't take care of her anymore and he did hospitalize her and put an institution and he watched the way she was being handled at the institution he just snapped and he said it he just snapped and he wanted to end her suffering. This is not uncommon. It is going become more common and that's what we do the show there is hope for the cure. There is a path to safety.

There's path to mental and emotional clarity. Prince don't let friends caregiver loan. Okay 800-688-9522 800-688-9522 will be right back caregivers about caregivers hosted by caregiver.

This is Peter Rosenberg bring you 3+ decades to you.

Stay strong and healthy, and you know we deal with a lot of serious issues of the show we we we have fun on it. All of this is designed to show you was a family caregiver that there is a path for you to safety. There's a path for you to not be miserable. You are not condemned to misery.

Even though you may have to watch someone who is struggling watch something that is heartbreaking. You, on the other hand do not have to be miserable doesn't mean you won't have tears doesn't mean you won't struggle doesn't mean you won't have grief and sorrow and rage and anger and all those kinds of things. But what we want to do is back.

You waive that so that it doesn't own you.

It doesn't own you to the point where you are losing yourself in this and losing your your your compass of what's right or wrong way to go, what to do. You know, as we talked about what happened just in Montréal just over the weekend and and and and or you'll just this lady that was getting all this pressure to basically accommodate her husband because he was pouting because he was being attended to in the way that he would like.

While she took care of her mother.

These these are all kind of dynamics going on with caregivers.

It's it's it's it's everywhere. It's all over the map. How do you help the what does it look like what does it look like to to reach into the. The headspace in the heart space of a caregiver who was struggling and if we don't do that. One of the consequences. I can go through scenario after scenario after scenario of caregivers who have gone into chest train wrecks in the common theme for all of them was isolation. They were simply just cut off from everyone. That's what we do show this. This is why we do the show and if we're not speaking life into them.

Who are they listening to Huizenga listen to the listen to all these state legislators now who are promoting medically assisted death there promoting infanticide now amid all these things. Basically if it's causing misery or if they are suffering or whatever must go ahead and just check out check them out. Check yourself out. Whatever I'm saying can we do better than that. Can we do better than this. Yes, we can't live with someone who suffers a liver someone who suffer significantly. Both legs amputated 80+ surgeries. One resident cat in which they brought her to the emergency room 35 years ago to 200 breaks honey live like that and live joyfully my wife to show me how to do that and she show me that even the midst of her misery and her heart ache in her suffering she sees purpose.

She sees value doesn't come easy and doesn't come without tears, but is there.

There is never enough pain free existence in this life due to warming were not to have that in me that that's a fools errand. You're going to have pain you can have. Sorry to have lost its how we deal with that.

The goal is not to feel better. The goal is to be better in it.

But Harry could be better if you're isolated and nobody speaking anything to you. That's what the show is about to help family caregivers learn to be able to back away from these cliffs of horrific decisions. That's the purpose of the show.

That's why we do what we do and it's all brought to you by staining with homesteading with hope is is the present and sponsor the show stayed with and what we do it we have two programmers that stayed with hope we have an outreach to Gracie's fellow amputees in West Africa, but this just this week I was purchasing supplies and getting over there to get a guy from Nigeria that showed up and got a leg at the clinic there in Ghana and we get huge limbs coming from all of the country go to local prison core civic runs here in Tennessee and inmates disassembled the limbs so that we can use the parts again and then we ship them over there. We build custom fit legs on-site in Accra, Ghana for amputees purpose and then we have this show was the caregiver it reaches for the wounded and those who care for them and when you anticipate in this when you give into this ministry. This is what happens lives are affected by this. People walk people here hope people can back away from cliffs of horrible decisions because somebody is taking the time to speak into their lives. That's what were doing. You could be a part of that right now that staining with would you go out and see for yourself what were doing.

See how you can participate thank you so much for being a part of that will see next week staining with

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