"I didn't expect it ...did not see it coming!"

Tammy in Texas. Tammy, how are you feeling? I'm feeling wonderful, Peter. Thank you so much for what you do.

I had a question. I was a caregiver to my father who passed away in 2004. So I'm on the end of being a caregiver and knowing what that entails. However, I'm in a situation where I have a sister-in-law who is the primary caregiver of my mother-in-law. And she lives with her. She does everything for her. My mother-in-law is legally blind and has some other health issues. My issue comes in with we want to help her.

Like I said, I've been on the end of being a caregiver. So I try to reach out and offer help in ways that I thought I needed help or I wished my siblings would have stepped up. But she doesn't allow us to help in any way. And if we do things, like if she leaves and we know my mother-in-law is there at the house, because she can be left unassisted.

She can pretty much take care of herself to a point. But if we go over to the house when my mother-in-law is alone and we do certain things, then my sister-in-law will just absolutely not be happy. And we hear about it for days. That we should have done this, we should have done it that way, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So again, I try to empathize with my husband who gets, or with my sister-in-law on my husband's behalf, because he's frustrated. He wants to help.

My brother-in-law and sister-in-law also want to help. But any time any of us try to do anything, my sister-in-law, it is not up to her standard, her liking, or her way of things. And I try to explain this to my husband.

You know, she knows your mother better, she knows her daily routine. You know, I try to work both ends of it. Well, let's back up a little bit.

Then my sister-in-law ends up complaining that no one helps her. Okay, well let's back up just a hair. This is your sister-in-law's mother, correct? Yes. Alright.

Yes. What may be a better way of handling this is not try to help your mother-in-law, but try to help your sister. And maybe that's a better way to get to your sister's heart, I mean your sister-in-law's heart, is to help her. And so you're saying, look, I know you're taking care of your mother-in-law. Is there something we could pick up for you at the grocery store? Is there something we could do at your house to help you?

Is there something we can help you on the periphery? And you start helping in other areas other than trying to directly address your husband's mother. She obviously feels like she has a handle on that, and she's going to lock it down. You can't hold somebody down and just help the heck out of them. You've got to back off and respect those boundaries. However foolish sometimes those boundaries are, they're still her boundaries. And if she's going to complain, your husband, I think it would need to come probably from your husband more than you, because you don't want your husband to have to be defending his sister and his wife.

That's a no-win situation. Let me just go ahead and go out there right now. But what you can do is let your husband talk to his own sister and say, look, we want to help you. We understand that you feel very passionate about this. So let us help on the periphery of things at your home with your life. What can we pick up for you at the grocery store?

When's the last time you saw your doctor? You know, as you're saying that, I think you've hit the nail on the head. I honestly, like I said, I've been on the caregiver end of it, so I think you hit the nail on the head with that, because I didn't approach it that way. I've kind of played the mediator in all of it of trying to, you know, like I said, because I've been on both ends of it and I've tried to be the mediator instead of offering to help her.

We've been trying to help my mother-in-law. So I think that's an excellent idea. I appreciate that. Well, I do the best I can with what I got, Tammy. I mean, you know, as your former governor used to say, Rick Perry, even a broke clock is right once a day. And I think that's hilarious that he said that and he didn't quite understand what he was saying at the time. But that's funny.

I don't care who you are. Y'all should all be laughing right now across the entire network. Everybody should be laughing because that's funny. But, you know, I think that's what we do. We have to back up and think, okay, what does help look like?

And obviously she's got this thing locked up tight with your mother-in-law. Okay. But that doesn't mean that you guys can't still help in this other area. So try that and see, hey, look, you know what? Let's give it a shot. Give it a whirl and see if you can't just minister to her.

Do things that are thoughtful to her so when she comes home after helping your mother-in-law, she sees things that are reflective of your heart. It takes you out of the equation of trying to force your help into a situation where she obviously is not really willing to accept it. And will complain about it. You said it perfect. You said it perfect.

I mean, you truly, truly did. I did not expect your response. I did not expect it.

Did not see it coming. And so I just have to once again say kudos because offering to help her, minister to her, help her versus trying to get in on my mother-in-law, because that's not what we're trying to do. We're just trying, I'm just trying to ease stress on her. So you, I'm going to hang up because you, we do the best we can with what we got, Tammy. We're trying hard. That's our motto here. We try hard. Listen, I got to go to another call here, but thank you for calling and thank you for listening. And God love you. And I'm glad you're laughing. I mean, that's that's a good sign.

I like to see what would callers leave laughing. We've done a good job here. OK. Yes, sir. Have a blast. All right.

We'll see you. Have you ever struggled to trust God when lousy things happen to you? I'm Gracie Rosenberger. And in 1983, I experienced a horrific car accident leading to 80 surgeries and both legs amputated. I questioned why God allowed something so brutal to happen to me.

But over time, my questions changed and I discovered courage to trust God. That understanding, along with an appreciation for quality prosthetic limbs, led me to establish Standing with Hope. For more than a dozen years, we've been working with the government of Ghana and West Africa, equipping and training local workers to build and maintain quality prosthetic limbs for their own people. On a regular basis, we purchase and ship equipment and supplies.

And with the help of inmates in a Tennessee prison, we also recycle parts from donated limbs. All of this is to point others to Christ, the source of my hope and strength. Please visit standingwithhope.com to learn more and participate in lifting others up. That's standingwithhope.com. I'm Gracie, and I am standing with hope.