Hope for the Caregiver

Welcome to Hope for the Caregiver on American Family Radio.

I am Peter Rosberger and I am so glad that you're with us. This is the show for caregivers. It's about caregivers. It's hosted by a caregiver. Stay strong and healthy as you take care of someone who is not. This is the number one show in the country for the family caregiver.

I'm really glad that you are taking the time to listen. Our goal here is to offer insights and perspective, biblical principles and practical help to fellow caregivers who are journeying along the way. Maybe you're taking care of somebody right now who has dementia. In some form, maybe it's Alzheimer's, maybe it's dementia of another kind. Maybe you're taking care of a child with special needs. Could be autism, cerebral palsy, Down syndrome.

Maybe you have somebody in your life who's blind and you're their sole source of help or care. Maybe you have somebody in your family or circle around you who has a mental illness. Or an addiction issue. Or a traumatic issue of traumatic brain injury.

And it's affected their behavior in an intense way. And you're struggling and you don't know what to do. You don't know who to call. You don't know what to say. You don't know how to function.

You don't even know how to pray. This is the show for you. Whatever the situation that you're in, this is the place for you. If you're a loved one and somebody who is chronically impaired, if you're putting yourself between somebody who has some type of chronic impairment and even worse disaster, you're a caregiver. And I've been doing this for a long time, more than 33 years, caring for a wife who has a broken body, 80 plus surgeries, both legs amputated. 90, 100 doctors have treated her. It's hard to keep count after a while. 12 different hospitals, 7 different insurance companies, well over $10 million in medical bills and another 150 smaller procedures that don't even really count as surgeries.

And it's just ongoing. Along the way, I've learned through this relentless barrage of medical crises that seem to just never end, I've learned that it is possible as a caregiver to live a calmer, healthier and even more joyful life. It's not easy. It's a lot of work. And it takes some strategic thinking for us as caregivers to be able to do this. And you got to have some help. You got to have somebody who's been down this road, somebody who has faced this mountain, somebody who has worked through some of these things.

And that's what this show is all about. And all I'm doing is passing on what I've learned from so many others. And along my lengthy journey, I've had people that have come into my life and given me great counsel. And I've had people that come alongside and giving lousy counsel, quite truthfully.

And I've had Christians and non-Christians who've offered good stuff and Christians and non-Christians who've offered really unhelpful things and foolish things. But I've aggregated what works and condensed it down so that when you and I talk through this show, that it's fluid caregiver and it gets right to the guts of where you are as a caregiver. And how you're feeling, how you are doing, what's going on with you. This show is exclusively for the family caregiver. Now if you're not a caregiver, you're going to get something out of this.

But I'm not here for you. I appreciate you and I appreciate what you're going through, but I'm specifically here for the family caregiver. And I'm passionate about reaching them because I understand how difficult the journey is and I understand how lonely the journey is.

And I want to make sure that my fellow caregivers know that there's somebody that is speaking to them. I didn't have this through those dark, dark, dark years that I labored through this without, I was just floundering many times. Now I don't know about you, but I know what it's like to have a meltdown in a hospital parking lot at one o'clock in the morning. I know what that feels like.

I know what it feels like to stand by a hospital bed and just fume at my helplessness and be frustrated with God, with life, with everything. I understand all those kinds of dynamics in ways that probably many of you never will have to go through. But in the process, I've learned a few things. A few things that have settled some issues for me and righted my course, if you will. And I've seen God's provision in ways that I did not expect. And I've seen God's wisdom in ways that I did not expect. And I've learned things pretty much the hard way.

I am the crash test dummy of caregivers. I mean, I've failed at more stuff. I've forgotten more failures than most people are ever going to make. But I have learned from these things and am continuing to learn. And my goal is for this show and for our conversation here is that when you tune into American Family Radio for this one hour that we have, that at the end of this time, your shoulders will be a little square, your breathing will be a little bit less labored, and your heart will be a little less heavy. And you'll see practical things that can help you today. And you'll hear in my conversation with other people that call in things that will say, oh, wait a minute, wait a minute.

That's my story. OK, I know what that feels like. And we'll talk about these things and we'll bang it around. I don't come to you and say, hey, I know how to fix your stuff because I don't. You don't know how to fix my stuff.

I don't know how to fix your stuff. That's not what this is about. It's about what Paul says in Corinthians that we comfort one another with the same comfort that we ourselves have received from the God of all comfort. Paul said in another place, he said, look, what do you have that you haven't received?

And I got to tell you this. Well, what do I have that I haven't received? I don't have this wisdom that is just welling up for me. I've received this from so many others and all of it from the hand of God.

Working through other people's lives to intersect me and explain things through scripture, through the preaching of the word, through all these things. And I've been able to glean these things over a lifetime. But do you have 30 something years to be able to catch up? Do you want to slog through this for that long to learn some of these things and to grasp some of these things? I don't think you got it. I think the pressure is so intense on so many people right now.

So why stretch this out for decades when we can bang this out right now and we could talk about it right this moment? Where you can feel like, man, somebody understands the angst that I'm feeling. Somebody is getting this. And I do. More importantly, more importantly, your savior understands this. See, I've learned to speak fluent caregiver.

I can do it. I can speak fluent caregiver. That is my that is my I am well versed in this. But it is our savior's native tongue. You understand, you have a savior that this is who he is.

This is what I've learned to do. This is who he is. And he himself, this is very comforting to me. I have a wife who is wounded. She is broken.

Her body is just broken. But guess what? Our savior is in love with a wounded bride, too. That's us. That's the church. He's referred to as the bridegroom.

The church is the bride. He loves a wounded bride. We're a wounded bunch of people. I mean, we are wounded and he loves us and he gave his life for us from the cross.

He was caring for his mother and delegating her care while he stayed on mission. We have a savior that understands this. You have a savior that understands what you're going through right now. And there is a lifeline in the midst of this this great heartache you're dealing with to get you to a place of safety. And we're going to keep talking about that.

Got to take a quick break. Don't go away. This is Hope for the Caregiver. I'm Peter Rosenberger and I'm so glad you're with us.

We'll be right back. Welcome back to the show for caregivers about caregivers hosted by a caregiver. I am Peter Rosenberger bringing you three decades of experience to help you stay strong and healthy as you care for someone who is not.

We're glad you're with us. How are you feeling? So that's the question we ask on this show about family caregivers. I know your loved one is dealing with all kinds of stuff. OK.

Mine too. But I'm asking you how you are doing. And there's no wrong answer. I want to know how you're feeling. And then let's help you walk back away a little bit from the cliff, from some dangerous places for you as a caregiver.

We want to help you get to a place of safety. I've been a caregiver a long time. 33 years. And there wasn't anybody out there.

Nobody even knew what to say to me. For decades. And I had to just kind of plow through this as best as I could. But I've aggregated a lifetime of this in order to offer a lifeline to my fellow caregivers.

You don't have to have a machete and cut your way through the jungle anymore. There are people that have been through this. And I've been through this. And now we have a show and it's on American Family Radio and we're nationwide. This is the largest show for caregivers in the country, in the world. And aren't you glad it's on a Christian station? I mean, really, what does the world have to offer to those of us who are doing this? What kind of hope does the world offer? 888-589-8840.

888-589-8840 if you want to be a part of the show. And we're going to go back to our conversation about opioids. And this is something nobody's talking about on the news, from the pulpits or anything else. But if you have a loved one that is on opioids, it's affecting you. I promise you it's affecting you. You know it's affecting you, but you don't necessarily know what to do about it or how to even approach it.

And these are behavior-altering drugs. And you may be under a doctor's care for this thing, or your loved one may be under a doctor's care for this thing and they're not abusing it. I understand it. I get that. But that doesn't mean that it's not affecting you in a negative way and your entire family.

And it is. And it's important for you to get, number one, to realize that and not fight against that and understand this is just the way it is. And number two, to get some help for you. And that can come in many different forms. It doesn't have to be expensive help in the sense where you've got to go out and pay somebody $300 an hour to sit there and talk about it.

You don't have to do that. First off, you've got this show. How much are you paying for here?

You can call in. Somebody's been down this path. Me. Seven figures of opioids I've filled for my wife with all of her stuff that she's dealt with. At one time, it's hard to get an accurate count, but we had one of the residents that was on duty when they brought her into the emergency room back in 83, later told her prosthetist, this is the guy that makes her legs, that they stopped counting at 200 breaks.

Now you think about that. What does that do to the human body? When you have 200 bone fractures and then the 80 surgeries that I can count and then the 150 smaller procedures. Chronic pain is a real thing in our home. And by the way, it is a family affliction. If you have somebody in chronic pain, it affects the family.

I'm going to say this over and over and over until you all are tracking with me on this to understand that this is affecting you. It's its own entity in a relationship, whether it's a spouse, like in my case, or whether it's a child or a parent or whatever. Chronic pain is its own entity in the relationship. And there are times when you're looking into the eyes of someone you love deeply and you're not communicating with them because you're communicating with the pain. And if you can't remember that, it's going to take you down in some bad places.

And it's really important for you as a caregiver to grasp a hold of that and to check in periodically with other people that grasp that so that it helps reorient your thinking. Because you will get off on this. I promise you. Now there's no mistake you're going to make that I haven't made in spades. I mean, I've forgotten more mistakes than you're going to make.

So don't beat yourself up for that. But learn from them. And learn from others' mistakes. That's why I wrote a book. That's why I wrote several books. That's why I do a show. So I can put it down.

And you know what? I go back and read my own book. My new book is Seven Caregiver Landmines and How You Can Avoid Them. And one of the landmines in there is thinking that it's all up to me. And that is a very dangerous place for caregivers to think that somehow this is all up to us. It's not. And I have to remind myself that my wife has a savior.

I'm not that savior. So I want you to do a little test for me right now. If you're not driving. Now if you're driving, don't do this. But if you, well, if you put your hands at ten and two, you can. So ten and two, because that's what you're supposed to do.

We learned in Driver's Ed way back when we had the horse and buggy. I'm not that old. I just look that old.

That's what caregiving does to you. Look at ten and two. Look at your hands. Now who here sees nail prints in your hands? All right.

Since you don't see nail prints, this is not yours to fix. But it is yours to be a steward and to show stewardship for as you journey in this. You know, that was our first job in the garden. A steward. Go back and look. We're there to take care of it.

We're stewards, not owners. I didn't do this to my wife. She got hurt before I met her. I can't undo it. You can't fight Alzheimer's. You can't undo chronic pain. Or Alzheimer's. Or Parkinson's. Or autism. Or mental illness.

Or neuropathy. All these things are bigger than you. But you can fight your own behavior. You can fight your own selfish desires, your own issues that you deal with, fears. You can combat that. But you can't do it by yourself. And you don't have to. That's the whole point.

You don't have to. One of the big issues that caregivers deal with is isolation. We are so secluded from good thoughts. Physically, emotionally, and spiritually we get secluded in this.

And we can feel isolated in a crowded room, but we can feel isolated on a crowded pew. How many of you all have sat in church? Now you don't have to call and say this, but you can if you want.

888-589-8840. But just among yourselves, just think about this. How many of you sat in church and felt so alone? And yet everybody else around you is singing Victory in Jesus. And you're struggling. And you're sitting all alone. I know what that's like. And you're wondering, how?

How does the gospel mean anything to me in this situation? And you're so bone-tired, weary. You're frustrated.

Excuse me. You're resentful. And you're wondering, what in the world does all this mean? That's what we're here for on this show.

That's why we're doing this show. Because I want you to know that the gospel is applicable in your situation. That the hope of Christ does reach into this. That He hasn't abandoned you.

Quite the contrary. He knows you. And He knows the plans that He has for you. He knows the numbers of your hair.

And I don't understand how He's working all these things out. I have wrestled with God on this in ways that I hope that a few of you have to. I'm not going to say that I don't want you to because I think that the more you wrestle with God on this, the closer you get to know Him, the more you get to touch Him. But you're not unscathed in this. So I don't want to rob you of that intimacy of God that comes through wrestling with Him through suffering.

But at the same time, please understand, you will not be unscathed in this. But He will give you something that transcends this, which is a deeper awareness of His presence. A deeper understanding of who He is in this. A conviction of His great love for you. And there are times I know that you are just, hot tears are going down your face.

And you're just fighting mad, I mean just spitting mad, but you don't know what to say and don't know who to say it to. Doesn't sound very spiritual when you say it out loud, does it? You don't have to be spiritual on this show. Just be real. Just be who you are. God meets you just where you are. The old Him, you know, just as I am.

Not just as I want to be, just as I am. That's the way it works. Let Him worry about the healing part.

He's much better than you and I. And He will, and He does. And this is how, then what you find is that you want to be able to extend that which you've received to others. And in the process, the more you give that away, the stronger you get. I mean, I'd love to tell you all that I'm so altruistic doing this show and everything about it, but I'm preaching to myself here because I've got to hear this. But I'm the only one out there that has a national radio show for caregivers, so I've got to listen to my own show. I've got to read my own book because I've got to hear this over and over. You know that old Him, sing them over and over again, wonderful words of life?

I have caregiver amnesia. I have gospel amnesia. I've got to hear over and over and over again the gospel. I've got to hear it, wonderful words of life, beautiful words, wonderful words, wonderful words of life. And I need to hear them. I need to replay that over and over and over again in the midst of all these things. How about you? How about you? Do you need to hear them over and over and over again?

Yeah, you do. And now you have a place you can do that. Here on American Family Radio, 888-589-8840. This is Peter Rosenberger.

We'll be right back. Welcome back to the show for caregivers about caregivers hosted by a caregiver. I am Peter Rosenberger. This is Hope for the Caregiver on American Family Radio, 888-589-8840. If you want to be a part of the show, how are you feeling?

And that is the question we want to know on this show. All right, let's go to Deborah in Texas. Deborah, good morning. How are you feeling? I'm feeling pretty good, Peter.

Good, good. What's going on with you? Well, I called in about 13 weeks ago and I told you that I do a class in Irving, Texas for NAMI family and family class for family members that have a loved one with a mental illness.

And I'm also a caregiver to some adult children that have mental illness. How's your class going, by the way? And we have some praise reports I wanted to call you with and tell you about. Good, I wanted to know how that's going with it. What's going on with it?

It's going really good. Most of our family members have loved ones that have dual diagnosis with both a drug addiction and a mental illness. And I know on your radio show this morning you were speaking about people that have an opioid addiction and they're caregivers. And it really made me think that a lot of times somebody that does have an opioid addiction also has a dual diagnosis of a mental illness. I saw in reports, Debra, that there was like severe depression. I mean almost like debilitating depression that was accompanying so many that are dealing with addiction issues. So many.

So many. So I'm glad you brought that up. Which I am so proud of God for doing is one of our members had a loved one who had a young adult who was getting worse with their mental illness and they had younger kids in the home. And you talked about that, that it is a family issue for the caregiver, not just for the loved one that has the problem. And so they found a halfway house for their loved one to live in. And now they can sleep at night. They can take care of their loved one.

They can take care of their family members and their loved one. Everybody's where they need to be, which is a praise. Everybody's safe. And I'm glad to hear that. Hey, this is your your support groups open to the public in your area, right? It is. It's NAMI, N-A-M-I, which stands for National Alliance of Mental Illness, and it's the family to family class. So if you wanted to Google NAMI, N-A-M-I dot org, you could find a NAMI in your area because we're in every state and in many countries.

The other praise report that I have, I have another one if you have time to share it. Wait a minute. If they're in your area, tell me, tell me where they can go. Is the group, does the group have some kind of, are they on the website in there in Texas? I don't know where you're calling from in Texas, but Texas is a big place. Yeah, they're on NAMI, N-A-M-I, NAMI North Texas. That is the one in Dallas.

Right. Now listen, if you're out there in the Dallas area and you're pulling your hair out and you don't know where to go, Debra just told you. Okay, so and for those of you not in the Dallas area that you're pulling your hair out, NAMI is a great organization and they offer a lot of help to folks. Mental illness is something that is often, people in the church don't want to talk about very much. And we want to throw all kinds of incorrect diagnoses at it, particularly in the church. And let's get some help for us out there. This is a tough, tough issue for families.

And let's get some help. So Debra, thank you for that. What's the other praise report? The other praise report is one of our members had a young adult son who had a meth addiction and had a mental illness. And now he is, he had wanted to be an EMT and he had gotten clean of the drugs and he had done really, really well. And now he has passed his EMT test and he is going to be an EMT.

That is spectacular. That's recovery right there. And see that's a picture, that's a picture really of how the gospel works in our life. That when we ourselves go through recovery, and I really look at recovery in this sense as a spiritual term. We are restored to God. He recovers us.

He calls himself the kinsman redeemer. And then what happens is we are so transformed by this that it becomes a passion for us to go out and rescue others and reach others and reach into their messes and their horrible situations with the hope of the gospel that sustains us. Paul talks about that in Corinthians. He said, comfort one another with the same comfort that we ourselves have received from the God of all. And that's what this young man is doing.

The guy was a meth addict. God himself cleaned up through the power of the gospel and a lot of hard work folks. Please understand recovery is not an easy path. It's work. But it's a good work. And it's a work that God himself will work through you in this and sustain you in this and reveal himself to you.

It's a model of sanctification. And so great work Deborah. Great work. And I have one more praise report if you have. Oh, bring it on.

Bring it on. We have another family who had a loved one that had an alcohol problem and mental illness. And she was out of town and the mother was praying for her.

She was coming through our class for the first time and she learned a lot of things in the class. And the loved one is now incarcerated. But she is in a mental health unit where she is getting help for mental health. And addiction help.

That is spectacular. You know what? Incarceration is a lousy thing. But it can be a very effective thing. And when you're dealing with addiction issues and so forth here are the three options. For those of you who are struggling with addiction right now or a loved one with addiction. They're going to sober up. They're going to get locked up or they're going to get covered up. Those are the three options with addiction. And that's, you know, sometimes it takes getting locked up to avoid getting covered up.

And by that I mean six feet under. That's right. Deborah, thank you.

Thank you for your work on this. One thing I want to say. One thing I want to make sure that I say is this is a secular class. It is not a religious class. It is not anything that, you know, they wanted it to be secular so everybody would come, right? The guy where I get gas across the interstate over here near my home and it's not a Christian gas station.

But it gets me the fuel in my tank to get me where I'm going. Well I just want to give God the glory because my instructor, my co-instructor and I are both Christians. And we pray over these people. We pray over their loved ones. We pray over the result. It's a twelve week time which is a short time. But you know what? The Lord takes those twelve weeks and he works miracles. Well look what he does with fish and loaves.

Imagine what he can do with twelve weeks. Amen. Amen. Hey Deborah, thanks for the call. Appreciate you listening and appreciate you calling on this. And thank you for reaching into people's heartache with the light of the gospel. You are amazing and you call anytime you want to, okay? Thank you so much.

I appreciate your show too. Thank you so much. Alright. Bye bye. Mel in North Carolina. Mel, good morning. How are you feeling?

Good morning. How are you? Well I'm fine. Tell me how you're feeling. I'm feeling mad and sad and yeah. Alright so let's start with mad. Guilty.

Alright we'll get to guilty in a minute. Tell me why you're mad. I'm mad because I'm in this situation. I have to do caregiving again.

This time for my mother and it's not easy. No it's not. But why are you mad about it?

Let's drill down a little bit on that. What's causing you to be mad about it? As opposed to just weary or frustrated or whatever. Why mad? Because I did not expect or want to do this again. Who were you doing it for prior to this? My husband. Is he still alive?

No I lost him. So now you're repeating the process. Do you like your mother? I love my mother. I'm not angry with her. You're just angry with life, with God, with yourself or what? I'm angry with the situation that I find myself in. I'm angry that I'm here.

That's the truth. I'm angry that I am here. It's a legitimate feeling. It's angry worthy.

You've got to do this again. It consumes you and it's frustrating and all those kinds of things. What are you doing for you through this process?

How are you releasing some of that anger? Do you exercise at all? I do not. I'm a full-time elementary school principal and I'm a full-time sole caregiver. And that's my life.

I get it. Let me ask you a couple questions here. Do you go to your doctor regularly? I do.

And what's the report? Are you in pretty good shape? Yes, fairly. How's your weight?

I'm overweight. Do you get out in your school when you're there? Do you get to walk around the school a good bit? I do. Do you wear purple shoes when you do it?

I have to. There's an app you can get on your phone that will tell you how many steps you've taken. And the more you're walking, walking counts as exercise by the way.

And so if you're walking briskly and engaging on your school, that counts as exercising. And that's a good way for you to kind of bleed off some of that stress. I call that the delta doctrine. The delta doctrine is, this is kind of silly, but I put this in my book, Hope for the Caregiver. I was flying out of Atlanta one day on Delta and the flight attendant comes on and says, put your mask on first. They don't tell you how to open up that little bag of pretzels, which are surprisingly hard to open by the way. And they don't tell you how to use that atomic suction device known as a toilet. They think we're going to figure that out. But they do tell you every single time to put your mask on first.

Every flight attendant, every flight, every government agency. I've never heard one of them say put your mask on second. But what does that look like to a caregiver to put your mask on first?

Well, it looks like breathing. Just just hold on. Wait. Just just be cool.

Drink a lot of water. And sometimes just going for a walk to kind of bleed off some of that stress. I tell you what, can you hang on through the break? I can't. I'm on my way into a job. I so appreciate your show. I will listen again. Well, you keep listening. Take a walk around the school. Bleed off some of that stress.

Bleed off some of that weight. Hey, this is Peter Rosenberger. This is hope for the caregiver.

We'll be right back. Have you ever struggled to trust God when lousy things happen to you? I'm Gracie Rosenberger. And in 1983, I experienced a horrific car accident leading to 80 surgeries and both legs amputated. I questioned why God allowed something so brutal to happen to me.

But over time, my questions changed and I discovered courage to trust God. That understanding, along with an appreciation for quality prosthetic limbs, led me to establish Standing with Hope. For more than a dozen years, we've been working with the government of Ghana and West Africa, equipping and training local workers to build and maintain quality prosthetic limbs for their own people. On a regular basis, we purchase and ship equipment and supplies.

And with the help of inmates in a Tennessee prison, we also recycle parts from donated limbs. All of this is to point others to Christ, the source of my hope and strength. Please visit standingwithhope.com to learn more and participate in lifting others up. That's standingwithhope.com.

I'm Gracie, and I am standing with hope. Welcome back to the show for caregivers about caregivers hosted by caregivers. This is hope for the caregiver on American Family Radio. We are the nation's number one show for the family caregiver, for those who are putting themselves voluntarily between a chronically impaired loved one and even worse, disaster. How are you doing?

How are you feeling? 888-589-8840. 888-589-8840. I want to go back a little bit to Mel, and I know she had to leave, but I'll put this out on the podcast. And our podcast is free, by the way. And you can go out to hopeforthecaregiver.com and see the podcast, subscribe to it, and I'll put out not only the show, but I'll put out special clips and all kinds of stuff, bonus features, all kinds of cool things we'll put out there.

And I just want people to be able to have access to the information, and you can share it. It's very easy to do. But she's mad. She's back in this situation again, back in the saddle again of being a caregiver. And I get that. I really get that. And it's mad worthy, and I bet you she's not the only one listening today that's mad about it. And if you're not mad about it, give it time.

You will be. I mean, you just hadn't done it long enough. And it's okay. I'm not here to beat you up for being mad about it. All right, let's have an honest conversation.

But I can't fight some of the things that my wife has to deal with, but I can fight what I deal with. And all right, she said she's overweight. Okay, well, let's start with that. Let's just start with that. And she puts on her walking shoes, and she walks around that elementary school. I can't even speak this morning.

The elementary school that she is the principal for, and she can walk around and start bleeding off some of that weight and bleeding off some of that strength. There's nothing like physical activity to bleed some of this off. You didn't get here overnight. You're not going to get out of it overnight.

All right, it's not going to happen. But you can take little steps today, and sometimes you can take a lot of steps in one day by physically getting out there and walking, physically doing something that's going to bleed this off. Stop drinking sugary drinks. Stop putting food and things into your mouth that are going to aggravate your stress levels. And instead do something physical and reach for some water.

That's what the Delta Doctrine is all about. You can get that in my book, Hope for the Caregiver. Wherever books are sold, go out online. There's an audiobook that costs less than a Happy Meal, or about like a Happy Meal, I guess. And you can get the audiobook of it. I read the whole book and even put in some bonus things on there. And a few impressions, because I can. And those of you who listen to this show know that sometimes I'll laugh, like I could talk like Bill Clinton.

I don't think I put Bill Clinton's voice on this book, so fret not. But the point is that in the Delta Doctrine, you wait, water, and walk. That's what it looks like to put your mask on first. Sometimes you just wait. You don't have to open your mouth and say things. Sometimes you bite your tongue and learn to like the taste of blood.

WAIT stands for Why Am I Talking? And you slow yourself down and don't feel the need to just speak all the time into situations, because that's when we get into trouble. All that rage and that frustration starts coming out, and our tongue becomes just like a razor.

And it cuts, ourselves and others, and we have to make a lot of amends for that. Been there, done that, still there. Water, wait, water, walk. Water, drink to think. Drink water. Cool yourself down.

Put something in your mouth besides words and give yourself a chance to cool down. And then walk. When things just get gnarly, put on some comfortable shoes and go for a walk.

It doesn't cost anything. Just go for a walk. Just walk.

Bleed it off. Listen to some music or my audiobook or whatever. Put it on your phone. Put it on your iPad, iPod, whatever you got to do. And just go for a walk and listen to something else besides the sound of your own rage. I'd love to tell you that there's some kind of brilliant way to do it, but it's not.

This is how it's done. You didn't get here overnight. You're not going to get out of it overnight. All right, let's go to Susan in Oklahoma. Susan, good morning. How are you feeling?

I'm feeling fine. I'm not a caregiver currently, but I am calling in because I was listening to your discussion about mental illness. And I just wanted to say I heard about NAMI, and I just wanted to say there are other options other than NAMI. The morbidity rate right now for the mentally ill people is not really good, or at least when I looked within the last ten years it's not really good. Because of the medicine, because of how deleterious it is, I was listening to your comments about healthy eating and things like that.

And there are other avenues to explore if you have mental illness besides NAMI, such as orthomolecular medicine, such as looking to see if you have MTHFR, such as pyroluria, which is the MAV factor. I tell you what, these are going to be hard for people to write down while they're in the middle of stuff like this. These are fairly complex things. There are.

There are a lot of nutraceuticals out there. There are a lot of other options besides this. There are so many different things that people can explore, and they need to. It starts with raising your hand and saying you need some help. What about mind freedom?

They could explore mind freedom. There are a lot of things out there that people need to do, and I really appreciate you bringing that to our attention. There's not one size fits all for everything, but the point is for people to raise their hand and say, hey, I need help, and let's start identifying what help looks like. And Susan, thank you for sharing that. I really do appreciate that.

And we can't just sit there and think we're going to go and get all these things squared away by just one little thing that happens. We've got to go see a multitude. Scripture says there's wisdom in a multitude of counselors.

I take that literally. And I think that your pastor needs to be involved in things such as this. Certainly your family doctor or your primary care doctor. There are support groups out there. There are organizations like NAMI.

There are other types of organizations. There are other types of people that want to help with different types of nutritional paths for you to go on. There are lots of different things that we can do to do this, but the point is it starts with raising your hand and saying, hey, I need some help. I need some help. And there is no shame in asking for help. And it is not a sign of weakness.

It is a sign of wisdom. And this is why I'm doing the show because I know that so many of you all feel so isolated. I get that. I know it.

I understand it. And in that isolation, we flounder. And we don't know what to do. We don't know where to go.

We don't know who to call. So what I've decided to do is just go ahead and go to the airwaves, start talking about it, have this conversation. How many people are talking about this?

We started off the show talking about opioids and family caregivers. How many people are talking about this on a national level? No one. Me.

I'm it. You know, and I'm going to keep pounding this issue. Mental illness and caregivers. We hear a lot about mental illness.

Mental illness. Do we hear about the caregiver? That's why we're doing it.

And you know what? Just take a moment to thank AFR for putting this on the show, on the network. We're the only ones doing it on any kind of national level or regional level, sometimes even local level. And we're the only ones doing it. But I'm glad that we're doing it, because I think as believers, we have that responsibility. And number one and number two, wouldn't you rather us be out in front of this with the hope of the gospel than somebody who's offering something that is just, you know... I mean, what does the world offer? Think about this.

When you are in a state of distraught and dysfunction and all kinds of stuff going, what really does the world offer? You see what's happening across the country. More and more states are adopting medically assisted death. You've got people like the governor of Virginia and now this guy in Alabama who basically say, you know, put the child aside, we'll have a discussion about it.

And they're just committing infanticide or wanting or advocating it. They're not speaking life to these things. But we as believers can speak life to it. And yeah, we're going to cry. We're going to have a lot of tears in this. But they don't have to be tears of rage. They don't have to be tears of despair. We're going to weep. But we can weep together, healthy tears, and weeping endureth for a night, but joy comes in the morning. That's what scripture says. And you know what? You will find, I promise you, you will find, this is 33 years talking about this. You will find that even as the tears are drying on your cheek that you can laugh.

That you can enjoy life and you can see beauty and joy and excitement even while dealing with harsh realities. That's 33 years. Anybody else tell you that?

Okay, yeah, you could probably lift an eyebrow and kind of question it. But I've been caring for a woman who suffers for 33 years, suffers extensively. As I said earlier in the show, 80 surgeries that I can count, 100 plus, 150 smaller procedures. Ninety hundred doctors have treated 12 different hospitals, seven different insurance companies, well over $10 million.

It's been going on since 83. Both legs amputated. And there is joy to be had. And she's getting in the studio recording a song here in another week and a half with an incredible singer. I'm going to surprise you all.

You all just have to stay tuned. And she's singing a song that talks about this journey. You're going to love this. My wife can really sing. Go out to our website and listen.

She can really sing. And you're going to just be blown away because you're going to say, oh, that's how you do it. I can't wait for you to hear it. Hey, hopeforthecaregiver.com, the books out there, the music, everything's out there. Take advantage of it. Healthy caregivers make better caregivers.

We'll see you next week. The views and opinions expressed in this broadcast may not necessarily reflect those of the American Family Association or American Family Radio.