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Hope for the Caregiver

Hope for the Caregiver / Peter Rosenberger
The Truth Network Radio
June 8, 2019 8:41 pm

Hope for the Caregiver

Hope for the Caregiver / Peter Rosenberger

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June 8, 2019 8:41 pm

From June 8, 2019 on American Family Radio, this episode features an important safety/fraud tip ...along with moving calls such as Paul- who is dying of cancer and wants to better care for his wife through this process. 

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And hope caregiver on American family radio.

The sparrows murder. This is the nations of the show for the family and 68 hours in the week all over radio but this show is your one hour, one hour for you. Those of you who are pushing a wheelchair.

Those standing with the someone who has some type of impairment. Maybe it's Alzheimer's. Maybe it's autism.

It's addiction some type of chronic impairment and you're the one standing in the gap.

Maybe somebody you know has a mental illness or traumatic injury cancer, chronic pain go down the list are so many different types of scenarios where people are dealing with difficult difficult afflictions, chronic afflictions that just don't go away and everywhere you find one of those individuals unify the caregiver. You find somebody who is volunteering to put themselves between that person with that impairment. And even worse disaster.

That's what caregivers do. Nobody pays us to do it.

Nobody makes us do it we do it out of love. Sometimes we do it while gritting her teeth with hot tears filling our eyes but we keep doing it and this show is for you a Peter Rosenberg of any caregiver for 33 years now for my wife through a traumatic injury that she had back in way back in 1983, 80+ surgeries. Both legs amputated at least I don't know a 9000 doctors of treater in 12 different hospitals seven different insurance companies will over $10 million and it just keeps going doesn't stop. This is been going on since Reagan was president.

I learned a few things along the way. Most of them the hard way. That's why of the crash test dummy of caregivers.

If you could fail at it. I failed at it, but you don't have to. You can live a calm or healthier and even more joyful life.

But can't do this alone. You just can't. You gonna need some help and he got any folks to come alongside you and point you to safety. I need that and together that's how we do it. 888-589-8840 888-589-8840 if you want to be a part of the show and we'd love to have you American family radio was committed to this topic that we are we are addressing that you know and why shouldn't we be why shouldn't believers be the one out front of this we think about what what is the world offer was the world offer to families with special needs, and we got all kinds of program things won't talk about you know assistance is forcing something about to the heart needs of the caregiver was the world offer. How does the world offer hope and that's why we we are so committed to this because as believers we know the hope of the gospel that transcends these things I'll never forget when my wife gave up her legs of this would she give up her right leg and 91 and after years of trying to save it.

Follow this wreck and that she give up her left leg and 95 and I was standing there as a broader out of recovery and they were taking her to the special care ward that they're going to monitor with because postop hers is very difficult. And now she is a double amputee. She was in her 20s and her right leg. Of course you been wearing a prosthesis for some time and she is healed up and in and out was she had been doing that for about three or four years at that point, but her left leg nail was freshly amputated bloodied bandage drain tubes all the stuff she's laying on the gurney, half sedated and her hands were lifted to heaven and she was singing the doxology praise God from whom all blessings flow. You see, that's what the church offers and people looked at her and were marveling that's what the church offers. That's what we as believers can offer to our fellow caregivers into those who are suffering to let him know that way.

But there's more going on here.

How are you feeling today how are you doing that's what the show is all about is helping you sort through what can often be a train wreck in your own heart and helping you get to safety, helping you get to the point where you can also raise your hands and say praise God from whom all blessings flow even in the midst of horrific loss, pain, sorrow and despair interest in and and things are going on that the world would just collapse under. But as believers we can anchor ourselves in Christ in in in ways it just astound others but were not to get there by ourselves to through this we reinforce these things and that's what we do the show I want to start off with the Scripture here. There's a lot of things going on out all over the way, if you want to. If you want to follow along on Facebook live. You certainly can help for the caregiver on Facebook live and his will is our our homepage standing with those of the ministry that Gratian started years ago after she give up her leg. She wanted to reach out to her fellow amputees and so we been providing prosthetic limbs to her fellow amputees over the West African country of Ghana and on the city of Accra. They come from as far away as Nigeria and we work with their Ghana health service to help train and equip local workers to take care of their own people the go walking and leaping and praising God. See that's what happens when you trust God with your sorrow and your heart aches, unbelievable things could happen it's not help able Gracie is she still missing both legs. She still lives with a lot of pain and all the cars left but but there's a vision that is beyond that and that's what we do the show as well because I sold that okay God reached into my situation as a caregiver into into reach into my life to my heart ache and is helped me navigate to safety with this and and and I want to be able to extend the same grace that I received pulses at a great things we comfort one another with the same comfort that we ourselves a receipt for the God of all comfort. That's why we do the show and it's part of our own journey of healing and some were grateful that you with his get 888-589-8848 885-8988 for delivery Scripture there's lots of going out there with people taking advantage of folks who are aging who dealing with some type of impairment and will call up and swindle you and I want to read this from Psalm 10 in his pride. The wicked man does not seek him in all his thoughts. There's no room for God's ways are always prosperous your laws are rejected by the wicked man who sneers at all his enemies. He says to himself, nothing will ever shake me. He swears no one will ever do me harm. His mouth is full of lies and threats trouble evil under his tongue.

He lies in wait near the villages from ambush. He murders the innocent. He bought his eyes watching secret for victims like a lion in cover. He lies in wait. He lies in wait to catch the helpless. He catches the helpless and drags them off in his net.

His victims are crushed the collapse they fall under his strength.

He systems of God will never notice he covers his face and never sees and I wanted just to give a caution to those of you are caring for folks who are aging. Particularly, there a lot of different frauds that are going on out there people that are calling and wanting to sell you all kinds of stuff from Bud at about your car warranty. They want to tell you that the IRS is coming for issuing a warrant for you. One of the frauds out there is they call up the divorce. Grandpa or whatever and and and if you respond with that name of your grandchildren to play lowlight that's who they are. A guy called me on that. What I like to I like to spar with these people. I don't recommend that you will do that but I like to just because of that, you and this guy called me up and he he said grandpa that I said that you, David will bust my grandson is three years old live to graduate once three years old. What is seven but so either one of her name. David said yeah and he just gave this whole solid antis imprisoned in this of the city's money and I just kept him on the phone just Joshua just let it go and he just kept going at it. I just stayed with the folly is that Lisa could you send me the money deposit while visiting, but I don't care about you a hug, but I made of steel. The vulvar law, what be watchful about this that's going on in this is hope for the caregiver dispute arose where this is the nation's number one chauffeur caregivers 888-589-8840 will be right back. 888-589-8840 888-589-8841 of the import of the show. This is the show for you. There a lot of shows out there from everything from finances to who knows politics is is all out there except this is the show for family caregivers.

This is a show for people who voluntarily themselves between a foldable of one and even worse disaster and were here to help strengthen you and restricted it would by the way it's it's mutual what happens, you're helping me I'm helping you were both doing this together because that's how it's done.

There's no way we can do this alone. We can't, you will fail miserably.

If you truck that you have to take my word for it. I've just been doing it for 33 years through a medical nightmare but you don't take my word for you, try it on your own.

I don't recommend it. I recommend leaning on each other and we work together and let's get to safety and let's start making healthier choices that you healthy caregivers make better characters we don't have to be miserable in this that were to deal with heartache, but we don't have to be miserable by let's go to Paul in Pennsylvania. Paul, good morning. Are you feeling on hey how are you sure well you know for man of my age and limited abilities.

I think I'm doing all right and I don't want to take time away from the caregiver.

I'm not a caregiver liver cancer and sometime between the next two months and and and probably six. My life is gonna be saddled with caregiver question think you can probably help. How can I make it easier for her health cannot be the care receiver other than just a great point.

Thankful every day I would be grateful and thankful is a great place to start Paul's you're already there, and the fact that you're even seeing her and recognizing her and what she's about to go through is a huge step you know we can't avoid some of the painful things and and that were that this life brings us, but we can avoid being miserable. We can avoid being bitter and we can avoid avoid being selfish and demanding, and it sounds like that's where you are in your heart right now that you want to care for this woman even in your own affliction general if that's what our Savior did, and that's what you're modeling is that he is seeing those around him as he's dying on the cross and caring for them and that's our model. The key can do it for her. He can do it through you and it sounds like that's where your heart is right now from the heart will and and those that I would.

I would write things down right now while you can while you have the strength to do it record things she's going to need care. After you're gone to Paul and so leave for things that maybe she doesn't know about until afterwards to remind her of just how precious she is and how precious your love is do things like that that will surprise her afterwards and be a source of comfort to her.

Yes, she's going to cry and both of you are here in its cry worthy, but we don't have to cry and grieve and rage and despair right and and when she cries healthy tears.

That's when the joy can follow right behind and so during these times. Right now you know the best thing you do is just what you just what you just said Paul is a beautiful what you said your you're trying to think of her knowing that this thing is is is got you in a in a crosshairs. And yet you're thinking of her and your wanting to care for her in this way does it do you guys have a good church situation at gate if you engage them in this process. Good, good. Is she getting any type of counseling through this no will. There's there's grief counseling available out there.

I would highly recommend that afterwards and in Europe.

By the way you you know you're dying correct. Have you made peace drive you made peace with Christ in this world. Walking I arguably rational for believer old. My wife is walking the same county and she's looking for when I don't know that that's that I would put it quite that way.

Paul think that she's at.

I don't know that she's looking for to be the widow I think and and be be aware that maybe she's still the process to sing a little bit differently than you are. I think that just may just be aware that in an oil and also be be be willing to to explore and mine difficult subjects without having to get real hyper spiritual about it, but be willing to have just earthy conversations about the reality of this, make sure that she has. She knows were all the all the documents are. She knows were you all the power of attorney stuff is the funeral clipped the plans, all that stuff. Plan the funeral out. You don't have to definitely sit down with her to do all that but go through it.

Sit down with your pastor and music minister plan up the music that you want at the funeral, you know, I know. Okay good at all. The plot on have everything done so that the less work she has to do, the better do everything that you possibly can. As her husband and just do all the things that you can to ease that burden for write her notes that she will find later tell her things. Tell her everything that you would want her to know about the value you place on her and your relationship. All of those things so that she when she does stand at that grave that she's able to stand there without Clint's fist that you at God that cancer and other people at anything at at her self. Anything that that she can release this and recognize that she has done all that she can do and that she can trust God in this and in your your job as her husband is to equip her for this would that's coming and and don't don't pie-in-the-sky it and make it look like it's going to allow yourself both to grieve over it in a healthy manner as well and I would recommend you know that she would have grief counseling.

Afterwards, I recommend that you also have some opportunity to to the process of these things and outright well and if you are angry and afraid. It's okay. It's all right with Jesus. And if you look to Scripture everywhere in Scripture. Paul suffered talking five just at Scripture to Scripture were guises don't be afraid. Don't be afraid. You know, at the pathetic he put that in Scripture because he knows were afraid you know he knows we are scared spiritless. He knows and so it keeps tells don't be afraid. Don't be afraid any instrument is this EEE and any knows this and he knows that with with your situation. He is present with you in it and I really I think I think I can pretty much speak for the entire audience listening right now that we are quite astonished on how thoughtful you are of her in this process that you that you're not making this all about you, but you're trying to to incorporate her own grief and this but her grief is can be different than yours and your children's grief will be different than yours, but you know, one of the things that we can do as believers is not only live well, but die will we can suffer well we can do all these things through Christ to strengthen us was pray with the right follow God. Paul is close to stepping into your kingdom and his family is is recognizing this, their having these conversations in their doing this right now and his heart is tender towards his wife. You know Lord Jesus as you hung on the cross.

Your heart was tender towards your bride which is us and I asked that in this moment that Paul be strengthened and comforted that his family recognize your presence in this and that he feel the need hand of your love on his shoulder as he is.

You got them through this that you're not leaving your your rod and your staff they comfort him, and as they walked to this valley the shadow of death, father, that they not be afraid. They know that that you're with and in those moments when it when it tries to sneak up on father.

May they be reminded clearly of your presence. Thank you form and father. We look for the day when we all rejoice when we stand in your presence.

Comfort Paul's wife and his children. Father this time and weeping endured for not father but let them know that joy does come in the morning and we ask all this in Jesus name, amen. Paul, thank you very much for the call, okay and you feel free to call in and you tell her to call in anytime she wants to as well. Okay you know there are things that we do as believers that are going to confound the world we don't have to be miserable and we can think of others even in our sorrow and our distress in our Savior model that force Paul just model that after those you going through these things and you have a loved one is dying.

You know you may not have that connection with them. They may not be thinking of you and I know that's difficult and is difficult to hear.

Sometimes for some of you to hear Paul say this because you would just desperately want your loved one to see you and to care for you and to look to your needs. It's not always going to happen. They can't always do it but you have a Savior that can and does and he is acquainted with grief himself man of sorrows, what they call. That's how Scripture refers to man of sorrows, and he understands yours. 888-589-8840 888-589-8840. That's where your heart is today.

There's more to come and hope the character of this dispute arose with a wood ledge with us will be right back to the show for caregivers about caregivers hosted by this Roseburg reps of literature with 888-589-8840 that was Russ Taft in the imperials. A love that song and my wife Gracie and Russ Taft just finished a duet. We been mixing in studio and it just marvelous and will be releasing that here soon. Probably the next next month and it is with you. My wife Gracie could really say I mean she's a no kidding singer and I was privileged to produce this track.

They did and it is chest mean it was just what she and Russ together singing it was it was really wonderful and you can love this and if you want to get out in front of this so that you can get a get it first. Go out to our website. Hope for the hope for the you set up for a letter will be putting it out and tell people when it's available. Downloaded it is just it's a great great trait and she's got a do it. She's done a couple with John Erickson, Tana and others things she's done you can hear it and I've got a CD that I did call songs for the caregiver been playing the piano for a while and it's it's good music. It's good music for people who are suffering and it is specifically for those who are in the situations where they just wanted to have something that calms her nerves and and I've had a lot of people who purchase this over the years, downloaded and displayed in hospice with the loved ones or and in the hospital where it just needs just to calm things down. It took a lot of hills and just arrangement is contemplated in a calm way the Gracie sings about every other song and it but it doesn't it doesn't have that jarring part of it. Sometimes records will have you become a lowly to a nice rest and also in bloom. Something hits you and it just kind of whatever. And this one is not. This is that this is very soothing a plate for people who are hurting Gracie sing for people hurting skull salts. The caregiving downloaded wherever CDs are downloaded and music is downloaded and you can go to our website and see more about that hope for the I put a lot of resources for you so that you can take advantage of the six I have this I didn't have music for characters I did have a book for caregivers. I do is no manual for me. There was nothing to nobody was speedily synchronized at all this just kind of slogging through the trenches. There and and when I started writing books and and speaking and doing the radio show and doing music and so forth.

I was really thinking of my 22-year-old self that married a woman with the broken body and was clueless. Having just dumber than a box of hammers on how to deal with this and I kind of just floundered my way through things in the process of picked up some some wisdom through the wisdom comes from bad judgment that I got plenty of bad judgment of my past, but you don't have to. You don't have to just you know careen into these brick walls. You can avoid some of these things, and that's why put it out there that's what we do the show is to help us is caregivers back away from this cliff that that we are standing over with 1 foot out and and were were were in very great danger ourselves and it will take you down it will take you to some dark places. I want you to do that. That's why put it out there for you. Let me go back to the phone's here real quick homework Homer good morning hobos over in Oklahoma homework. It's good to talk to you again, my pleasure. Good morning how you feel a doing great and my notes with your doctor seems like I'm more elated and should be given the role that caregivers have, but let me off of the slime on the backside I've ever caregiver for many many years, first with my wife partnering for her mother asked my wife past entering into the fray caregiving for my own mother. She now having passed, my skill set is refined. I am will total laborers from streak or culture and trimmed her in this battle that I have the perception as you cited earlier.

And so contributes 13 through five of understanding the joy of the presence of the Lord through this journey, but I've come to appreciate.

Psalm 91 all the more God is a refuge and fortress for me and let me just some summarize by saying when I hear other callers into programs like C-SPAN or the question today was how is your expenses exceeded your income. I am seeing caregivers here in broken Bow with hospice offering of themselves to bring encouragement and hope and beyond their their jobs help seniors gain enjoyment in life and that speaks volumes just like just as you are in this morning. Being a part of this.

So thank you, will take you home or not and I you know I think that our expenses do exceed our income in the natural state, but I think when we will. We understand that we can plug into the inexhaustible income of Christ that we are able to then give it away that that that is lavish we can give love that we we honestly didn't think that we were capable of doing and were really not, but what he is and through us and but it takes us change the way we approach these things we don't have to. We don't have to go out and act like were martyrs or anything else like that because we realize that we we are we are tapped into God's joy God's love.

God's ministry and then it flows freely that we do have to rest to be good stewards of ourselves and all the stuff but but that's the thing is, we're not so desperate to hang onto Julie's best what is expressed. Not when it's when it's grasped you know and and so I think that that's it that's a good wise word always like it when you call it home right I called you a lot.

Did you know that I deal and plagiarize from you, Homer and you. You gave one of my favorite lines. One time when you said you know when not to use Romans 828. I thought that was just a great cradle and so the overture will thank you for that and thank you for sharing it.

And in your always welcome to call and appreciate to be on his journey with this man. Well, I am in an alternate vendor point my life. I believe there is compassion expressed in this debris field of battle field, sometimes under skeptical tactical employer. Psalm 91 go to Ike I love this belly real quick and I have go some of the calls but I guess as I assume you did okay through all the tornadoes everything out there all alone and thoroughness of all the tornadoes that you guys recently had out there, O God is blessed me being relocated from California. Mark for the tornadoes firing here lately world. There are others who are in distress and need help. I see that David and prayers with slit, you're saying by the way, is that it was a greater blessing to be in a tornado stricken state that it was to be in California. Is that what you know I'm just kidding. I'm just getting to know why the line quality of life is far better here though the potential for distress is higher will be safe and thank you for looking out for others on it and thanks for calling in the show.

I do appreciate it okay thank you brother Dublin was the Debbie in Tennessee. Debbie good morning how you feeling morning I'm feeling great wealth to the what's on your heart, as I heard that down my call this morning and have the liver cancer in December of the past year. I went up north. Ohio TRICARE help take care of my brother die with liver cancer and the joy in the middle of the far off of the attitude that he had after living in the last for three years in our compound because of multiple strokes of the veteran and you McKay started ministering and hip pain before he knew he had cancer, he started ministering to veteran and his nursing home and was able to get a program started to give out Bibles the batter and honored in the north and then to Europe before to Mike before he passed away. He was diagnosed with liver cancer and he planned he and his wife together and started thinking about something and I wrote a wonderful little thing I like Brad a ladder that was Brad and his funeral about now more Walker no more wheelchair no more, no more pay my healing. That was right at the funeral and we had a worship service at half funeral and that's I that's how we do it. That's how we do it in or not. Unable to minister, even from these dire circumstances were not unable to give joy to other people, even from deathbeds we've seen over and over and over, and even at at the end of this life policy not poured out like water, and yet he still doing it in Jesus from the cross.

Leading that thief next to them into paradise. I mean it's just this is how it's done but it's not done on our own strength and Debbie.

I appreciate I appreciate you calling this year that I really do. And thank you so much for listening all right one more quick thing. I'm all for our caregiver. My job and with Alzheimer's and dementia and White Fang that you take like a shad can be a factor here.

Line enter brain pocket part of what I want to part. I thought I would play the piano and sliding that demand 90 some years old and see what right right on to what I told him and that's mostly D will that that that's what I put on the CD with these films that people go to know it in and it will remind them of things and will anchor them out of the first one is, there is a place of quiet rest near to the heart of God.

The place where sin cannot molest and I love that him and the these are of that was written by Robert Lowery. This is just a wonderful hymn and these are these are things that can anchor us back into those places of joy and in ministry and loving care, but that at I love those I love those old hymns that he got around. Thank you so very much for the call and appreciate you listening and other speed Roseburg.

This is hope for the caregiver. This is the show that is committed to you as a caregiver to help strengthen you for the journey. Health caregivers make better caregivers. How you feel. 885-8988 40 88858 that 8840 will be right back pay the speed. Roseburg is never helped somebody walk for the first time I've had that privilege many times through our organization. Standing with when my wife Gracie gave up both of her legs follow this horrible Rick that she had as a teenager and she try to save them for years and if it just wouldn't work out. And finally she relinquished him and thought wow this is that I'm not happy legs anymore.

What can God do with that and then she had this vision for use in prosthetic limbs as a means of sharing the gospel to put legs on her fellow amputees and that's what we been doing now since 2005 was standing with a we work in the West African country of Ghana and you can be a part of that through supplies through supporting team members through supporting the work that we're doing over there, you can designate a limb. There's all kinds of ways that you could be a part of giving the gift that keeps on walking and standing would you take a moment ago understanding and see how you can give they go walking and leaping and praising God. You can be a part of I have seen English proper truth of which we all need to take the heart. It says it is better to begin in the evening and not at all. Yes, we should have tackled that unpleasant task first thing this morning but it's better to tackle tonight. Not at all. The prophet Zechariah asked who has despised the day of small things that is building the temple in Jerusalem was a big job, but start small. Lay one brick we know what will happen if you don't. And who knows what great things will happen. This is David Jeremiah urging you to get on the road discover God's help and begin hundred 6666, driving the word log onto Route 66 and get your roadmap for lying 66 Route 66. Start your journey home today that word from Dr. David Jeremiah Route 66. We talked about the present. Do not despise small beginnings. My dad is clear that Scripture but it minister administered about 60 years and wisest men I know and and he is clear that Scripture to be so many times over my life. Do not despise small beginnings, and I remember when I first started going out speaking to caregivers in the first audience I spoke to had four people at it what it was. My son the other fell asleep and I didn't care because I wasn't in the despise small beginnings because how I knew the message was important that caregivers needed a voice speaking to them with clarity with specificity on what it looks like to move away from these dangerous places and into places of healthiness and I started out on one small station and this show now is on 185 and where we just were just growing and growing and growing with it because that the message is resonating, not because of me, but because the message is resonating healthy caregivers make better caregivers. But what does that look like and that's what we drill down into this show and talk about and how to help you stay strong and healthy as you care for someone who was not in its it's a difficult thing to do. What were doing is caregivers and issues impossible to do it alone. You don't take my word for just 33 years of experience I would recommend you not trying.

Don't don't do this alone, and friends don't let friends caregiver will and watch what God can do in it and don't despise small beginnings Denison Tennessee Dennis good morning, how are you feeling OKAY bye-bye Monday the lighter side of disorder.

Mind you are tell you that Dr. Jeremiah Route 66 and he reminded me back when I got Boot Camp on I body and mind went in my 66 GTO down 66 Southern California floor hang out for couple months and so that was that was a young adventurer, but it was that there was a different time in our country wasn't yes it was an American we got desert I know it was a bit of a trial for nine nights As they debt.

I've made that run this castle runs.

Now I've made that family and I have four brothers and a sister we all bow to the station wagon. We let the air conditioner would've been helpful. Let me just say though I only got about a quickness because were run out of town.

What you get on my eye, but when Paul called earlier with his exclamation. When you document your character everything about me, I'm in a similar situation to caregiver my mother here for many many years. She passed and I found out shortly that I have cancer as well and so but I live, I guess the main things written my called you was trying to clear enough thinking Peter.

I didn't quite know that I would be able to. I will be able to be clearheaded and clear minded enough to make final arrangements. Nearly 9 in interest of time, paltry clicks on the incentive when Lucius did you have you made those arrangements now know I like to go to take for you to finish what now will raise your hand and get some help. Call every culture pastor now and I've been to church years since mother was sick and wouldn't go but well this is it. Are you able to get to church now not really. I don't drive and so not able to get out but I am liable Babette how do you know it's not spiritual connection anything is not just I can find out how I can connect to John to make the file not found arrangements so I can I can go with that outnumbered, I will personally would I want to do is write down what you want to do and then you can always call somebody you can call turning to do it. You can call a social worker to come and help you get a cancer, you can call a pastor and you know you just call even if is not your pastor, just call a pastor and just a little early to do this and call one that has an evangelical mode, the pray with you and minister to you. No matter if you been a member they are not there called to minister to the body in your part of it but write down everything you want to do. Go ahead and do that first right hand and an inmate that call and there are plenty people out there think it will help you may have to just kind of make a few phone calls but you can make phone calls but write it down first write down everything you want everything every everything you want to do and it's already done. Don't make people have to cut a figure that out with you. Go ahead and do it while you have the presence of mind to do it all right yeah okay. Make it all right listen to go real quick here, but Dennis you keep listen, keep calling and will talk to you soon okay.

But you too buddy. Thank you. I Mobile, Alabama, says anonymous so how you feeling this morning. Anonymous all right what you question going on back of her heart. Not even a carpet from daughter and I want to know how to kick a caregiver when not want Mr. K well, they may not want to be.

They may be better. They may be angry.

There may be a lot of things going on on the surface, but down deep. They do it just a matter of learning how to speak to them in a way they can understand and I think right now the fact that you see the fact that she's going through it as she in it in any kind of church situation. D.

Do you are you.

How close are you with her. Do you take her out to lunch or breakfast or dinner something will. But do you take her out just in time with her today with her well and I can I can understand that.

But to be cheap you've offered to take her out to lunch or say hey can we go grab some breakfast right view it when they go to church. I do sit with them. Church is a church coming to her wealthy and you can't. You don't assume the need to invade the privacy but but but ask if they talk to the pastors and you know art over a week properly ministering to this family. They are we going to the mother able to to have some type of connection to the church as shut-ins and and and just keep doing it and you just keep sure that you don't have to make a big production about it. Just a look at the flood of things I felt with caregivers is it you quietly say to them I see you see the magnitude of what you caring about hurt. I want you to know that I want to be with you through this at whatever level is comfortable for you and start with that. Just a conversation starter be very gentle with well placed. That's a good place to be and try well if you want to understand kind of what she's going through a little bit my book hope for the caregiver lays it out. That is, speak that I speak fluent caregiver and it speaks directly to the heart of the caregiver in very clear, easy to understand words.

This is what caregiver struggle with and it is called hope for the caregiver.

The show is called hope for the caregiver this season of socially caregiver I be left I put it all out there for folks who want to learn how to speak fluent caregiver. This is how this is what it looks like and she's going to have a a all kinds of turmoil under the surface, but she stuck the field asserting very comfortable sharing it.

And that's okay. It's not her job to somehow make everybody else comfortable with her pain, but but if you want to be able to speak into that you got to do it very slowly and with great specificity and you don't need it.

You don't need to overwhelm you just want to be gentle with sheet. She is grieving she's hurting and I appreciate the fact that you're seeing a bit but let her know that you see her okay that's that's the thing that I can't. I can't count how many people have asked me about my wife over the years, but I Was vast about me okay and that's that's there is no be gentle with her and thank you for your heart for senior we just beat, be gentle with her okay and be tender and and and if she can't reciprocate out a way that that makes sense to you. Don't worry about it just keep investing in her and keep modeling Christ for her to keep doing okay. How much did Jesus model for us that we could reciprocate.

You know, aren't you glad that he didn't wait around for us to understand what he was doing that he just did it anyway.

You know that's what we do, we just do it because it's the right thing to do. It is what we do and if they respond well great if they don't we just keep doing it.

We keep love. Thank you for the call so much on that this is over. The caregiver hopefully you will see more information we'll see you next the views and opinions expressed in this broadcast may not necessarily reflect those of the American family Association for American family radio

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