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Identifying the Correct Battle

Hope for the Caregiver / Peter Rosenberger
The Truth Network Radio
January 8, 2020 9:37 pm

Identifying the Correct Battle

Hope for the Caregiver / Peter Rosenberger

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January 8, 2020 9:37 pm

Misdirected fight

We seem to take on the wrong enemy. We’ll try to fight Alzheimer’s. We’ll try to fight addiction. We’ll try to fight amputation. We’ll try to fight injury or illnesses we’re not prepared, equipped or in any way capable of doing. My wife is a double amputee. I cannot fight amputation. But, I can fight cholesterol. I can fight being a jerk. These are things I can fight.

How about you? What can you fight? What can you successfully wage war against in your life? 

Maybe your child suffers from a devastating disease that is just beyond the pale. You can’t fight those things. You may feel guilty for bringing that child into the world, but you can’t fight that. Yet, you can fight bitterness and resentment. You can do that. Scripture says that you can and it gives you the path to be able to do that. (Ephesians 4:31-32)

Waging War Against the Wrong Enemy

I know people who have committed their entire lives to waging war against their loved one’s affliction. I know these people and I can see the weariness, the bone weariness and the despair, but they keep pushing themselves to inhuman levels; somehow thinking that “If I can get them here, then I can be happy and I can rest and do my thing.”

How is that working for you? How are you doing with that? 

“If I could just get daddy to stop drinking …”

“If I can just get my daughter to stop acting or making these terrible decisions…”

“If I can just get my spouse to get to the bathroom instead of making a mess everywhere else…”

“They can remember what channel Law and Order comes on, but they can’t remember to go to the bathroom…”

“If I could just get them to do that, then maybe I could have some peace.”

Scripture says we could have peace no matter what.

Caregivers understand "...sorrows like sea billows rolling."

My brother-in-law has a boat and fishes in the Gulf of Mexico. While I’ve never been seasick, I fished with him a few times in some choppy water. One particular time, the waves rolled relentlessly and the boat kept rising and slamming down. It didn’t make me sick, but it just wore me out—and the waves had no plans to stop just because I didn’t like them.

That’s seems like a good picture of our lives as caregivers. It just wears you down. Sorrow comes relentlessly, without mercy, without reprieve — it just keeps coming.

So how do you deal with that?• How do you cope?• How do you find your balance?• How do you find the horizon?• What does that look like?• Where is safety?• Where is that peace of mind that can come?

When awoken in the boat during the storm, Jesus told the disciples “What’s the matter with you guys?” (Loosely paraphrased!)

While He slept in the boat, they thought they’d die. Yet, Jesus spoke “Be still” and the waves and wind calmed down. If you notice, however, Jesus was calm before then—He slept the boat.

How did he do that? Is it just because he was God?

He was very God—yet he was very man. 

All the theologians I’ve talked to – very sharp people – shared that Jesus shelved his divinity. He lived life fully as man, trusting in God, and free to experience life. That’s why he could marvel at the woman who reached up to touch the hem of his garment (Matthew 9:20), or the Roman centurion who said “Hey, look. You’ve just got to give the word. You don’t have to come up. You can just give the word. I get that.” (Loosely paraphrased, again!) Matthew 8:5-13

Jesus was free to marvel because he shelved His divinity to live life fully as a man. He knew He came to Earth to die, but He also knew he wasn’t going to die on the Sea of Galilee — and he was confident that he could rest. 

How confident are you in the plans that God has for you?

You know, Martin Luther stated in A Mighty Fortress Is Our God – “The body they may kill, but God’s truth abideth still”.

How confident in you that we as individuals can live with that sense of serenity and purposefulness in our lives, even while dealing with these harsh things as caregivers? 

Please do not in any way assume that I own this, While I see the path much clearer, I need reminders to get back on that path just as much as anyone else. Every time I say or hear those reminders, I’m pointed back to safety. Safety is not the absence of conflict or war. Safety is being in the hand of God. Period. Wherever that is.

Safety in the Battle

In the spring of the year, the time when kings go out to battle, David sent Joab, and his servants with him, and all Israel. And they ravaged the Ammonites and besieged Rabbah. But David remained at Jerusalem. It happened, late one afternoon, when David arose from his couch and was walking on the roof of the king’s house, that he saw from the roof a woman bathing; and the woman was very beautiful.  And David sent and inquired about the woman. And one said, “Is not this Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam, the wife of Uriah the Hittite?”  So David sent messengers and took her, and she came to him, and he lay with her. (Now she had been purifying herself from her uncleanness.) Then she returned to her house. And the woman conceived, and she sent and told David, “I am pregnant.”

2 Samuel 11:1-5

“In the springtime, when the kings when out to war, David stayed home. King David stayed home.” He should have been out doing his job, but he got tired of it; so he stayed home and just kind of propped his feet up, looked across the roof and guess what? There was Bathsheba. David was in far more danger and caused far more damage by staying out of the battle.

God’s going to lead us through things that will hurt. It’s going to be unpleasant, but He’s working something out in our lives through it—and we can trust Him. Even in our battles as caregivers. But the battle is not against our loved ones or their afflictions. It's against ourselves ...our fears, despair, guilt, resentments, and even self-indulging. 

Yet, we can trust God with all of those things ...with every wearisome and heart-wrenching challenge. We can even trust Him to give us the rest we desire ...even on the battle field.  

How do we know?

Because he stretched out His arms and gave His life for us on the cross.

He fought and bested THE enemy Himself.

He won the war the battles we can't fight, and strengthens us for the ones we can.  

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Speak fluent caregiver and were all about strengthening you because it's a two-for-one deal with caregivers.

Caregiver goes down, so does the level just that simple and I am passionate about this and about reaching you as a caregiver to let you know that the gospel means something to you, even as you're taking care of someone who is treating you horribly in the midst of whatever impairment they're dealing with. You know it's okay for you to receive the grace of God in the midst of this, and an even if things don't necessarily change with your love for and somehow this is this is gotten twisted, our minds that we can't be happy unless they're doing okay.

We can't be peaceful. We can be joyful, we can't be, well, we can't be, you know physically well we can go to our own Dr. we can do any of these things unless they are in a good place and I'm saying, no, that's not how this works and we is caregivers can be good stewards of our own bodies of her own wallets of her own career paths. All these things because we don't own this other stuff and we we spent our times, trying to I think a lot of us but at least I have you got remember I am the Wiley Coyote of caregivers you know any given day, there is an equity anvil. That's about right and followed by head, but we spend our days.

All too often trying to somehow wrestle this thing a white knuckle it and That's not how this works we can learn to be peaceful in it. In the midst of it, you know we we will take on the wrong enemy will try to fight Alzheimer's will try to fight addiction will try to fight amputation will try to fight injury or illness that we are not prepared, equipped, or anyway capable of doing. I can't.

My wife's a double amputee.

I cannot fight amputation, but I can fight cholesterol fight being a jerk.

These are things that I can fight, you, what can you fight what can you successfully waged war against in your life. Maybe your child has a very a devastating disease that is just beyond the pale. You can't fight this thing. You may feel guilty for bringing that child into the world that they have to live with that but you can't fight that, but you can fight bitterness and resentment can do that. Scripture says that you can't and it gives you the path to be able to do that. How are you holding up with it.

How are you holding up as you wage war against these things. I know people who have committed their entire lives to waging war against their loved ones affliction.

I know these people and I can see the weariness the loan weariness and the despair but they keep pushing themselves to inhuman levels somehow think that if I can get them here, then I can be happy.

I can rest and do my thing. How's that working for how you doing with that if I could just get daddy to stop drinking.

If I can just get my daughter to stop acting or making these terrible decisions. If I can just get it my spouse to get to the bathroom instead of making a mess everywhere else you know they can remember what channel law and order comes on, but the can't remember to go to the bathroom set into close to home.

If I could just get him to do that, then maybe I could have some peace. Scripture says we could have peace. No matter what I put out a on the podcast about people like that prayer that I had at the beginning of the show that's embedded in the newest episode on the podcast to put out a live performance that I did of it as well with my soul that is arrangement did and I asked for money played the violin with me were plated or community church some years ago never put out this recording is but a double back and listen to that effect on you can hear some of the audio sales in the clinking of the communion trays and so forth. But I just thought it was just it captured something for me. Enjoyed playing with this fellow he was. He still is just an extraordinary violinist and I put this arrangement on my CD sauce for the caregiver. Just as a piano solo but this was a lovers I did with alleged but it is bonus material for the podcast and but I love that hymn peace like a River attended my way would sorrows like sea billows roll as a caregiver. You understand sorrows like sea billows roll and don't and if you don't you admit a caregiver long enough as you will and it comes at you relentlessly without mercy without reprieve.

He just keeps coming when sorrows like sea billows roll a bit out in my brother-in-law has a boat that a ghost does a lot of fishing with out of the Gulf of Mexico in a bit out there with them at times when the you know the way for a little bit high and I never get seasick of never been seasick and a bit of some choppy water when the fish are biting. It's hard to get access toward the waves of the but I was was noticing when time is really tire was out there and I was noticing that it just it just kept coming. It was relentless and the boats get rising and slamming down rising and slamming them and it wasn't. It made me sick. But it just wore you out just wore you out in the sea was relentless it had no plans to stop or abate just because I like asking where we are is caregiver. Sometimes it just wears you down. So how do you deal with that. How do you cope, how do you find your balance. How do you find the horizon. What does that look like where is safety. Where is that piece of mine that can come you know when Jesus told the disciples know what's matter with you guys when he was asleep in the boat and they thought they were going to die and he said to the winds and waves. Be still.

Then they they calm down. If you notice, Jesus was called before the he was asleep in the boat have to do that just because he was God. He was very God is very man and all the theologians I've talked to various short people say that what happened was Jesus shelved is the divinity PBE live life fully as me and trusting in God and he was not.

He was that he was free to experience life and that's what he could marvel at the woman who reached up to touch touch is the hymn of his garment or this in the Roman centurion say look, you just gotta get the word don't don't want to come up just give the word. I get that Jesus was free.

Marvel because he was shielding his divinity, so that he could live life fully as a man and you know he knew that he came to earth to die but he knew he wondered down the sea of Galilee, and he was confident that he could rest. How confident are you in the plans that God has for you know Martin Luther said it in a mighty Fortress.

This body, they may kill the God's truth about is still how confident are you in that that that that we is is individuals can live with that sense of serenity and peace and purposeless purposefulness in our lives, even while dealing with these harsh things as caregivers. Now please do not in any way assume that I got this adjuster with the path. This and I need reminders to get back on the path just as much as anyone else. And that's why do the show because I'm reminding myself every time I say it every time I speak it it points me back to safety and safety is not the absence of conflict or war safeties being in the hand of God. Wherever that is tracked with me on that one.

We give an example.

There's a Scripture things in second Samuel, don't quote me on it, but it is.

It's there is in the springtime when the Kings went out to war, David stayed home. King David stayed home. He should've been out doing his job in the springtime of the Kings without the war we got tired of the state home just got a proper speed up, looked across the roof and guess what, there was Bathsheba. David was in far more danger and cause far more damage by stating out of the battle. The name would've been had he been in. Don't confuse the American dream and this talk of prosperity relic of stuff with the purpose that God has for you and your Christian life is to lead you through some stuff that are good, her schooling unpleasant. These working something out in your life through trust. How you know as he stretched out his arms and gives life you want the Cross Himself Open Caregiver St., Rosenberger will be right back.

Have you ever struggled to trust God when lousy things happen to you. I'm Gracie Rosenberger in 1983 I experienced a horrific car accident leading 80 surgeries in both legs and became it. I questioned why God allowed something so brutal to happen to me. But over time, my questions changed and I discovered courage to trust God that understanding along with an appreciation for quality prosthetic limbs led me to establish standing with help more than a dozen years we been working with the government of Ghana and West Africa, equipping and training local workers to build and maintain quality prosthetic limbs for their own people on a regular basis.

We purchased ship equipment and supplies and with the help of inmates in a Tennessee prison. We also recycle parts from donated lambs. All of this is to point others to Christ. The source of my help and strength, please visit standing with help.com to learn more and participate in lifting others that standing with him.com. I'm Gracie and I am staining with help


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