A Conversation with Rachel Flick

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It's reasoned relevant content apologetics, worldview, and answers to the questions that you need to know. From Alex McFarland Ministries, this is Truth for a New Generation Radio. And now the man who preached in 50 states in 50 days, speaker, writer, and advocate for Christian apologetics, Dr. Alex McFarland. You know, the Word of God has so many precious promises, and one of which in the Bible it says that the Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart.

God is close to the ones that are of a crushed spirit. Well welcome to Truth for a New Generation. Alex McFarland here, and we have a very, very special show today, a person I'm very excited for you to meet. Rachel Flick has a story that is just amazing of not only tragedy, but of victory. And I'm honored to have her on the program. We are at a convention that we do every year called National Religious Broadcasters, NRB. And first of all, Rachel, I want to say thank you for making time to be with us on Truth for a New Generation. I'm so honored to be here. Thank you so much for having me. Well, thank you for coming. And am I correct, this is your first visit to the NRB convention? This is my first NRB. Yeah? Yeah, it's so exciting.

Well, it is. And in terms of this conference, are you here to promote what you're doing or just to begin to learn more about the broadcasting and publishing industry? Well, so I have a podcast called The Hope Cast with Rachel Flick, and I talk about resilience and overcoming and post-traumatic growth. And so there are some amazing people here with incredible stories, and I'm recording some of their stories for The Hope Cast and just meeting some incredible people that I think will be really important in ministry in the future. Well, in just a moment, I want you to tell people about your journey and hope, because you can speak authoritatively about that. I meet a lot of people that need hope and encouragement. And I've met people, in fact, it's funny, I was in Arkansas about three weeks ago, and I was talking with a young adult person who was, frankly, angry at God. But he dropped out of college, and college wasn't what he wanted it to be.

And I have to be honest, a lot of what his gripes were seemed rather mundane. But you know what it is, honestly, to have to turn to the Lord and find your source in Christ. I do. And so I want you to tell that story.

Sure. So I moved to the Springs in 2006, and in 2007, I started working at the YMCA, and I met a man named Micah Flick, and we were both working there. And Micah was a man who knew what he wanted, and so from our first date, he had put a ring on it, and we were married in November of 2007.

And I started Micah's journey with him at the El Paso County Sheriff's Office from the very beginning. Three years later, we had twins, a boy and a girl, beautiful and healthy. We both went through a journey of just growing up together, falling deeper in love, and getting our bachelor's and our master's degrees, him in psychology and leadership, me in kinesiology and counseling.

And so those were some thick years there with the diapers and the little years. And then you guys were working hard. We were working hard. Raise those two beautiful children plus do your education. Time management, I guess that's one of the that's in your skill set, isn't it?

Oh my word. Time management, yes. And at the same time, I was helping lead the Mothers of Preschoolers group at New Life Church for a couple hundred women. And so the both of us were pretty good at multitasking. Micah switched through the ranks of the jail and on patrol and ended in investigations where he was in law enforcement. He was in law enforcement, yes. So he was a property crimes detective. And on February 5th of 2018, he was doing something called battle, which is beat auto theft through law enforcement. And this was something that they did every Monday. It was a very common thing. They were an undercover unit and they would track stolen vehicles for long periods of time and then arrest people as a way to intervene in gang violence.

And they were very successful and had won awards for doing this. But on February the 5th, they went to arrest the suspect and they didn't know that he had a gun in his hoodie. And so when Micah's partner Scott went to grab the suspect, the suspect pulled out a gun and shot Scott in the hip and then went to execute him. And in that process, Micah grabbed the gun and wrestled it from his hands but was shot in the neck in the process.

But he saved Scott. And on that day, Scott was gravely wounded and continues to be disabled. Micah was killed, two other officers were shot.

The suspect was killed in return fire and a civilian was paralyzed permanently from the waist down who was walking through the area. And on that day, my entire life changed and everything that I knew, everything that I had founded, what was convenient or that I thought that I had theology in and understood about God all had to be reevaluated. Oh my goodness. And how old were your children at this moment? They were seven.

Seven years old. How was the news delivered to you that your husband had been killed in the line of duty? Well it was a very normal day. I had just done carpool.

I was getting my daughter ready for ballet. I was on the phone with a friend and I started to miss multiple calls from people. And so I said, hang on just a minute, let me switch over. And it was my mother-in-law and she said, Rachel, Micah's been shot.

You need to come and you need to come now. And I didn't know at that point that he had already passed away. And so I was hopeful that maybe, you know, he'd been shot in the arm, right.

And we'd have a surgery and have a recovery. And then the under sheriff came to my house and he said, Rachel, he didn't make it. And so he drove me to the hospital in a keening wail and a grief sob as I went to be with my husband's body in the hospital and tell my children about the death of their dad.

Do you recall what you thought or what you felt the moment you realized your husband was gone? Just no. You know, I was screaming at God, no, no, no, no, no. Don't let this be.

Don't let this be. And just this full body agony and rejection of this news. And even as I walked through the quarters of the hospital, I was looking at people and just silently praying to them that they would say, it's a mistake.

It's a mistake. He's still here. And then I kind of slid into a state of shock and just trying to take in all that was happening because in the line of duty, there's so many pieces that are a part of that puzzle of death that don't get included when the person isn't dying in the line of duty. And there were many, many unique complications to Micah's death that I would then begin to navigate, including national media coverage. We're talking with Rachel Flick and when we come back, we're going to hear how she picked up the pieces of their life and their family after the death of her husband and how you too can process whatever pain you're going through. We're going to get some wisdom from a person who's been there and is standing tall.

So stay tuned. More of truth for a new generation after this break. Christians don't necessarily agree with one another when it comes to questions of religious pluralism, homosexuality, the role of government, abortion and war. Too often we manage these disagreements by ignoring them. Yet we're called to engage the world for the sake of Christ. How can we be effective if we avoid society's most pressing questions in 10 issues that divide Christians? Alex McFarland challenges us to drill down to the biblical core of 10 current issues such as social justice, evil and suffering, pornography and environmentalism. As he echoes the biblical invitation, come let us reason together only by engaging the scriptures deeply, thinking clearly and speaking truthfully can we in God's family address our differences and discover the peace that comes with unity of purpose. 10 issues that divide Christians.

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Welcome back to Truth For A New Generation. We're talking with Rachel Flick telling her story of her journey with the Lord through this tragedy of the death of her husband serving honorably in law enforcement and he was killed. And Rachel, I'm just riveted by your story, but before we continue, give your website. How many people find you on the web?

Absolutely. It's www.rachelflick.com and it's the Hope Cast with Rachel Flick on Apple Podcasts and a lot of other platforms that they can find me. The Hope Cast?

The Hope Cast. That's great. Well, after you got this news, I mean, it had to be very surreal. Did those thoughts of getting the news, walking down that hospital corridor, I mean, were they a tape loop endlessly playing in your mind?

You know, I could absolutely play them right now and just take myself step by step through that. And I have had to do that in my trauma therapy and bring Jesus into those memories with me and just tangibly grab hold of how he was carrying me and the angelic presence that was making possible to do what was being done as the hallways were lined with staff and a SWAT presence and everyone, my husband's casket was draped in a flag and immediately began a processional when we left the hospital, which included thousands of people and was very surreal to see people standing on the sides of the road and waving flags and saluting and thanking Micah for paying the ultimate price. And that process moving forward involved many motorcades and flag ceremonies and 21 gun salutes and things that I wasn't very familiar with at the time, but have come to be as a police widow. And yes, I absolutely needed the tangible presence of the Lord to walk me through every single one of those places. Tell me about your children. How did you go and tell your children that they would never see their daddy again and that their father was gone? Yeah, well, it's definitely something you're never prepared for. And I was just asking the Lord, how do I do this?

How do I do this? And as the people had arrived at the house to take us to the hospital, it had turned out that the undersheriff took me and my brother and sister-in-law took the twins. And I'm so grateful because it gave me the opportunity to scream and keen and wail for 20 minutes outside of my children, right?

So that I wasn't creating more trauma for them. And I walked in ahead of them and my brother and sister-in-law brought them to me in the room in the hospital. And I sat them, one on each knee, as I usually do having twins, right?

You have to learn to carry two kiddos at once. Levi and Eliana. And how old are they now? They're 10. But when their father was killed- They were seven. So, okay.

Mm-hmm. So they were aware of death. They understood it. We'd lost a couple of grandparents the summer before, and they'd been to some funerals. So they were really in a place to understand what that death meant. They knew daddy had been shot, but they hadn't received the news of how he had done.

And so I brought them in and I placed one on each knee and put my arms around him. And I said, guys, daddy didn't make it. Daddy's dead.

He's not alive anymore. What was their reaction? I would say shock, stun. Neither of them were very verbal in that moment. Tears in their eyes. Probably some kind of stunted horror, right? And shock is a gift that we don't experience it all at once when we have a major loss.

And it's kind of a buffer or like a big trampoline, right? When we hit our grief that keeps us from impacting that pavement at full speed. But they were absolutely heartbroken. Micah was an incredible father, and he left a huge hole in their life. And the day before we'd had a Super Bowl party and they'd been playing games together and eating ice cream and he tucked them into bed. And the next day he was gone.

And so in many ways it felt like he evaporated out of our life as a healthy, strong loving man who was just gone. And you all were Christians at that point. And did I hear you say you were involved in New Life Church? New Life Church in Colorado Springs. I know that church well.

I know a lot of people there. So how much did your kids know about salvation and the promise of a reunion? I mean, that's one of the great realities of the Christian faith. Not to be trite or cliche, but Christians never really say goodbye, just I'll see you later. Still hard, but did they sort of default to the reality, well, we're sad that he's gone, but we will see him again in heaven? That has absolutely been a part of our process. I don't think that that was something we were capable of processing in that moment.

But, you know, they say that children are about 18 months behind their parents in their grief. And so as I've watched them wrestle with that, you know, we have Heaven is for Real, right? Colton Burpo went and wrote that book when he came back from heaven.

And so we had books like that where we were explaining again the concepts of heaven. Where is Daddy? What is he doing?

He's as alive as he's ever been. He's just in another place. And that has absolutely been an underpinning of our faith and our healing journey. Praise God. Praise God. Rachel, I meet people that they get mad at God, they reject God. You suffered the ultimate loss, not only a loved one, a family member, but your spouse. And yet you're not cursing God and you didn't walk away from God, did you?

Yeah, when you lose your spouse, you lose your everyday. You lose half of your soul. And I will tell your listeners that souls do not separate cleanly. It's a very ragged, very ugly process. And I felt like a China vase that had been thrown against the wall and that God was left to pick up these tiny little shards and put me back together.

And I love the picture of Kintsuki pottery in the Japanese culture where they use gold to mold that vase back together in something more beautiful than it ever was before it was broken. And so when Micah died, I went from a very highly functioning ministry leader, mother, pastor, and I felt like I lost about 50 IQ points in one week because I began to put my pants on backwards. I would put in one earring and walk away. Food tasted like gravel in my mouth. My body just went into complete fight or flight and survival mode. And I gave the picture to my friends in many ways that I felt embryonic, that I felt like a tiny little fetus once again, that all I had had was lost and I was completely starting over. And the Lord came to me in such a unique and intimate way. And I had an interview the other week, the other week. And the host said to me about Jacob that in the night when he wrestled with the Lord, the Lord broke him, healed him and blessed him all in one night.

Exactly. We're going to take a brief break and come back. You're listening to Truth for a New Generation with our special guest, Rachel Flick. Don't go away.

We're back after this. You know, Alex has been writing for many years, and one of his classic books is still great today as a basic introduction to the Christian faith. It's called Stand, Core Truths You Must Know for an Unshakeable Faith. This book will help you help your teens get off the roller coaster of doubt and onto solid ground. You'll read about the six pillars of biblical Christianity. They are one, inspiration of the Bible, two, the virgin birth, three, the deity of Christ, four, atonement, five, Christ's resurrection, and six, Christ's return. You know, Alex mixes it up with humor and stories he gleaned from decades of working with youth and encourages teens to build a foundation of faith that will stabilize their lives and help them take a stand for Christ.

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We'll resume our conversation with Rachel Flick in just a moment. I do want to remind everybody that we've got a conference October 15 through 17, Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. We're working with some incredible people down there. And at the Truth for a New Generation Conference, Fall 2021, this is our first post COVID conference. We're back to doing our events, and it's going to be amazing.

We're going to have Frank Turek, Sandy Rios, E.W. Jackson, and a dozen speakers pray, promote, and plan to attend. But I want to resume my conversation with Rachel. And first of all, let me say thank you for being so courageous to talk about this, because I know it's helping millions of listeners and you're doing your podcast. Rachel, how did you land on your feet? And I know you're talking about a vase being shattered, but clearly, and I know it's the Lord, you're processing this in the best way possible, it appears to me, by keeping your eyes on Christ. How did you do that and not implode as so many other people do?

Well, I have a theory that what you go into the foxhole with is what you have to handle your tragedy and your trauma. And as a professional trauma therapist, I did have a lot of tools, a lot of connection, and I'd done a lot of self-evaluation and work prior to getting to this point. And so even while I felt embryonic or brought back to my very base foundations, I had a lot of people around me who supported me. And I think community is a huge part of healing and being able to walk through hard things and stay close to the Lord. I asked the Lord that he would help me eulogize my husband.

That was something that I value. And Micah's line of duty funeral had over 8,000 people in attendance, and it was streamed across the world online. And I gave a eulogy that went viral, and I talked about the problem with the police and the public. And I will tell you that when I stepped onto that stage in front of thousands of people, I felt a peace that surpasses all understanding. And the Holy Spirit came on me like a wind in a fire, and he filled me and anointed me. And through that message, it began to shake and break up some of the things that I know that you're passionate about in our culture with the idea that authority is bad, that people seek a level of anarchy, and they call it freedom.

And I challenged those assumptions and that a huge piece of what is broken in our culture is people's unwillingness to submit themselves to God and thereby also earthly authority. And in that place of obedience and submission to the Lord where I gave that eulogy, it was like the Lord was filling me up, plugging me into the outlet of the Holy Spirit who is the source of our power. And I found purpose and I found meaning in Micah's death by being able to speak to people and challenge and encourage them. And because Micah paid the ultimate price and he did so in such an honorable way that you could never cast aspersions on his behavior, I have a seat at a table that very few middle-aged white women get to speak in. And people allow my voice to be heard in the race conversation, in the law enforcement conversation, because he had paid that price and because I was obedient. And when we combine obedience and sacrifice, the Lord comes in in a way that is just unparalleled.

And it was through that power coupling of working alongside with the Lord. And in the same moment, it's not like it looked pretty, right? Like, like I would ugly cry on the floor. I felt broken. My mind took a while to heal from trauma brain.

I was in the middle of the city in Colorado Springs, a place that I'd lived for 15 years and I was completely lost and I had no idea where I was. Let me ask you this through 2020, when we saw the cries to defund the police and people spitting in the face, I mean, literally spitting in the face of law enforcement officers. What do you, what's, what's your reaction to that? And it's so often in the media, police are denigrated and, and criticized and, and you and I both know what a vital role they play. I mean, Romans chapter 13 says that the law enforcement officers actually are ministers of God, right? So give me your, your take on this, um, sudden rush to just demonize all law enforcement officers. Well, a part of defunding the police is about secular humanism, where we believe that man is essentially good, has all that he needs with inside of him. And so we don't need police because we could be policing ourselves and it's an outright denial of the inherent sin nature of man. So, um, it flies in the face of how God made the universe and the rules that he set in place. Um, I also believe that it is a way for people to say, I don't want you to be the boss of me.

That's a big one. We've coached people that they are the center of the universe, that there is no sum greater than the individual. And that our truth is whatever we want it to be.

And darn you, if you step on my toes with my truth. And so when you see, um, people spitting in the face of law enforcement, intentionally ambushing them, shooting them, you're watching people react to the idea that they don't want authority in their life or in the world. I think it's an incredible misrepresentation of who law enforcement officers are. One of my passions is to bridge the gap between the police and the public and help the public to recognize that police officers are humans and they have families and they have children and they are real people when they take that off. And they carry a symbol, a representation of authority in their uniform and with their badge. But to elevate them above that place, though they have been given the authority of this, the state to enforce the law is a misunderstanding of our commonality as humans and their desire to sacrifice. Law enforcement officers are incredibly sacrificial in ways the public never sees.

They really are. They give up birthday parties. They take care of dead children and car accidents. They clean up suicide scenes and sacrifice. They change tires in the pouring rain. Absolutely. They grab lost dogs.

They literally do these things that serve our communities in so many ways and I think that people don't understand what an incredible commitment it is to be in law enforcement. Sure. For one thing, give your website again where people can find you. RachelFlick.com and The Hope Cast with Rachel Flick.

The Hope Cast. It's so inadequate, but I simply want to say thank you. Thank you for what you're doing for your kids and your family. Thank you for what you're doing for our country. But most of all, thank you for the representative you are for the Gospel.

You're so welcome. It's my honor to do it. And we're praying for you. Let's visit again and I want to continue to hear how the Lord is using you and how you're touching so many lives. I know you are. Thank you, Rachel.

Thank you so much for having me, Alex. TNG Radio is made possible by the friends of Alex McFarland Ministries, P.O. Box 10231, Greensboro, North Carolina 27404. That's P.O. Box 10231, Greensboro, North Carolina 27404. Call us at 877-Yes-God-1.

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