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Caregiving Wife of 25 Years Laughs About Going to Dentist for a Break.

Hope for the Caregiver / Peter Rosenberger
The Truth Network Radio
March 16, 2020 3:01 pm

Caregiving Wife of 25 Years Laughs About Going to Dentist for a Break.

Hope for the Caregiver / Peter Rosenberger

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March 16, 2020 3:01 pm

After reading Joan Borton's hilarious post, I had to call her and invite her to call the show and share her story, wisdom, faith, and great sense of humor. 

"How to know it’s time to re-examine the schedule: when you look forward to going to the dentist for crown preparation because it’s an hour plus in one place with no demands other than “open, close, or bite and tap.” Sounds almost relaxing!"

Learn more about Joan at:

www.joanborton.com

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Joseph reminded and we vulture the Facebook if you post up there the day and I want to read this to you that I had to call record. She said how to know it's time to re-examine the schedule when you look forward to going to the dentist for crown preparation because it's an hour plus one place with no demands other than open close bite and tap sales almost relaxing. I got Joan, you had to come on the show would just talk about that is just your little bit your story is just a thought.

You have as a caregiver and I would love to hear those things are welcome to the show Joe all I in a caregiver at 25 years and Jerry Wiley, cerebral palsy, and I made the choice to marry him, knowing that the caregiving involved on even even knowing that the lack of pride that come along the way and his body even absent my needs change and if you we could just having lack of changing needs coming through in our caregiving routine until it was really delightful to just go down over me.

So with you on that. I know what it's like to I like that big lid like they put on with the do extra stuff about it is still so heavy and warm and comfortable enough to be good. What is wrong with me but I do it it's it's it's very good. The dentist office is a nice place very nicely.

Just to have mice musically thought you as caregivers we get that that's that's got of a quiet place and so what there truly are taking sharp instruments in her mouth so they don't weigh any great will I ask you something to you Mary Jerry knowing that he had things going on. You know I Mary Gracie knowing that she was hurt. She was hurt a couple years before ever better.

I had no concept of what is likely to wish it was someone who was hurt.

Did you have any preparation for cerebral palsy working group and a little about that and then had to live caregiver for a year later the quadriplegic felt I did. I didn't talk a lot about what it is ability needs would be before we got married. I think we can assume because I knew and we can know everything will most of the snow so the thing that you had on your blog about Valentine's Day last month and you know the question about Joe. Do we have, we do it right. We have the romantic evening that we wanted to give them your comments you made about going to a five-star restaurant going to restaurant and on my lap and make sure you write for a quick glance at whatever point much more romantic and comfortable for me if were going to get a casual restaurant that we enjoy that we can have time to talk and laugh and I'm not cooking or cleaning up the meal free on.

I think that would be like to make my Valentine calibration or whatever celebration was stressful that it would be relaxing will I get to know that's what you will course, Gracie always like to reserve a booth at the waffle house turned out well.

You will know my waffle house we were long ways from that now we out here in Montana and on this, but no I get that because as caregivers we don't. I think there's so much X. John those my policy on holidays. I don't like.

I'm not the only holiday I really like his Arbor Day because you plant a tree you water it say pretty walkway, no parade, no drama, but all the other sources. Expectation is not. I just appreciated your comments that you said about that the Jews just learn to just be comfortable being comfortable is the key and I think so many of us as caregivers are not comfortable with it.

What this is burning urgently somehow got to make this more perfect and and better and and and offset the challenges and that's not where you are this summer. Jerry talk about in and tell me why you're not that way everything while I think early on.

People think. I really had people tell us Carlisle that we were wrong for me to me. Personal care attendant that should never happen in the life. No work out the plan that works for I and for a while it was much more uncomfortable. Who would say that to you. Well I hate you Donnie still friends with these people just thought that was really wrong and truly thought everybody else next dictation that put a whole lot more strength on that we already have enough going on in life plus a working ministry felt a lot going on so let we have to let go of something into what we can likely the easier it is what other people think as long as I'm online and if we're living in Mary we believe is biblically centered, then I think that people say are critical for marriage cultural and societal let things go and live the way to live in our marriage and then you'll have fun at the end of the day you you you you need to be friends and enjoy each others company and there's not these these guidelines and rules that you have to do this, you know, in order to be happy as a couple. I knew that when I think the grace of the nice restaurants and so forth like that, but some as we demand of 34 years this year and you know I I came to treasure and cherish going to diners with her just having a good time with the staff there and just hanging out. There's a restaurant down the mountain here that we like to go to that is just as comfortable as you can be, you know, and she can go in and she's got her legs uncovered so she's not robotically complex, and the cares, you know, it just it it's just listening for you just learn to just enjoy the moment and not make so much drama out of this and that and so forth that I was just really quite moved it to see that from you. If you would take a moment to share some things that you've learned about yourself in this journey which are this is not been an easy journey you will Jerry's Jerry's challenges are significant and and what have you learned about yourself that may be surprised when I learned last week. Click on your show about how many things I think are really not caregiving and not really about me like a prison, and the fact that my heart wants to go off on it many times until I learned to figure out what I need to own my health is what it really are a legitimate part of caregiving that I need to find some way to work through think I've also learned that Jerry does not want me to be his mother. I need help in not being equally is let him tell me when you need help or do this kind of thing being more that mother it's because I'm having the need to feel needed, until all tending to do something when it's really not helpful at all for him.

Somebody out one time it was importantly, was the hardest thing you've dealt with this caregiver and I will do what you just said that the hands down for me hardest thing I've ever dealt with this. Knowing what is mine and what is not month and I get that so mixed up and Gracie will for a good. I get the line so great on that one.

How great charcoal gray when it gets great and you know and that it's hard because we we were in that mold a lot and it's hard to just be. Did you you you guys involved ministry been involved with Johnny Erickson taught and and all of the things with Johnny friends. You know you are a strong believer before all this and I want nothing. What can you hold onto the break.

I'd like to tell us how that evolved for you as you as you grew in your faith in it and grew as a caregiver and you hold onto the break. All right, this is hopefully caregiver. This is Rosenberger talking to Joan Borton Joan Borton.com JOA MBO RTO just an amazing friend and fellow caregiver and she's a lot of wisdom to share with you.

877-655-6755 Jeff Foxworth 65 million Americans serve as a caregiver for sick or disabled level. One of them than listen to my friend Rosenberger show what you ever struggled to trust God when things happen to you.

I'm Gracie Rosenberger in 1983 I experienced a horrific car accident leading 80 surgeries in both legs and became questioned why God allowed something so brutal to happen to me. But over time the questions changed and I discovered courage to trust God and understanding along with an appreciation for quality prosthetic limbs led me to establish standing with help more than a dozen years we been working with the government of Ghana and West Africa, equipping and training local workers to build and maintain quality prosthetic limbs for their own people on a regular basis. We purchased ship equipment and supplies and with the help of inmates in a Tennessee prison. We also recycle parts from donated lambs.

All of this is to point others to Christ.

The source of my help and strength, please visit standing with help.com to learn more and participate in lifting others@standingwithout.com.

I'm Gracie.

I am staining with help as a caregiver. Think about all the legal documents you need power of attorney will, living wills, and so many more than about such things as disputes about medical bills. What if instead of showing out hefty fees for a few days of legal help. You paid a monthly membership and got a law firm for life.

Well, we are taking legal representation and making some revisions in the form of accessible, affordable, full-service coverage. Finally, you can live life know you have a lawyer in your back pocket who at the same time is an empty it's called legal shield and its practical, affordable and a must for the family caregiver visit caregiver legal.com that's caregiver legal.com. Isn't it about time someone started advocating for you www.dotcaregiverlegal.com on independent associate channel Sirius XM 131 this is one show for you was a family caregiver I impute Rosenberger. I host that is my wife Grace Boykin. She's a loveless voice and you know what this whole show is about learning to rejoice, no matter what's going on because were lover were doing it okay were living at this is not a dress rehearsal were doing and it's not to be everything we wanted to be but that doesn't mean we have to be miserable.

Being miserable is a choice and were glad that you are tuning in today to just be a part of this with us 877-655-6755 877-655-6755 am talking with Joan Borton fellow caregiver who is been doing this for now quarter of a century or little bit more about what is about right Joan and this along and she's been caring for her husband, Jerry, you know, before went to the break.

I want to talk a little bit about your faith because you know you were believer when you get new injury married, your both believers, but there's nothing like caregiving for couple decades to cut a ticket to a whole another level is what what have you learned about yourself and about God through this that the surprised learned about God that I don't play Jerry very great in my neck when we really talk about anything my junior shepherd.

To my great Shepherd like Jerry is able to embrace and accept my failure. It shows me a picture of how loving God is.

To me, and that he accept me. Don't I remember I early married and I can't go up on stage thinking that the kingdom okay for me to show up in the wheelchair but you can't help with the pain and that really struck me that there are many ugly sinful pipe technique.

Text me and I need to embrace that and move on. Wilson Will said these are things that these little pearls of wisdom that we learned along the way the surprises, but they also add to the texture and beauty of our lives and the whole point of the show with everything I do books. Everything is to so you know what, you don't have to be miserable in this. It is painful his heart and I know you and Jerry have cried.

Lots of tears and and but even in the midst of those things are still beauty around us and in this and working through us and you forge the marriage and and you are now. You and Jerry have also invested in the lives of so many others, and it was just like you said it was just your post about going to the dentist and because of John's mother's at the Lodge so dental dental dental stories are always great for us will before I let you go. I haven't done this yet because we we try to do this every week because we like to would like to laugh and we keep hoping that we will but but John is notorious for bad joke. So you got a dead joke. You could share with Joe before I let her go. Yeah especially dental related to having dental related. It was Jones dental post that brought her to the show today are so hit us with the child and hopefully we will laugh, oh why Joan goes only Apple growing tree all going all what this is one of the parent. I actually thought it was because they were grown yet This is why after these things but don't laugh. While the dentist of the hygienist has the pics in your mouth that's not a good book when it's well that you know you could have to deliver prayerless Joan Joan Borton.com if you want to find out more about Joan go to her website or blog Joan Borton.com JOA MBO RTO in.com and Joan, will you please you.

Please be regular just with us to just call back you just just whatever's on your heart. You always have an open mind: okay right thank you so


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