To Marry or Not to Marry? (Part 2 of 4)

When you look at life from an eternal perspective, it dramatically impacts the way you view everything, including the surrounding culture, your possessions, your happiness, even death and the way we mourn. We're in 1 Corinthians chapter 7 today on Truth for Life. Alistair Begg is teaching verses 25 through 40. We have noted before, as we began the book of 1 Corinthians, the broader geographical, historical, sociological frameworks in which Paul was writing, the religious factors which were present at the time. When I speak of context now, I'm speaking within the context itself of the seventh chapter and the specific issues which I believe help to explain the nature and the emphasis of Paul's instruction. What I want you just to begin to note is the connection between his advice on staying single or getting married and living married in relationship to the crisis, verse 26, the short time, verse 29, and the passing world, verse 31.

That's the context. Now, what is the concern of his teaching? First of all, the protection that he longs for in their lives. Notice verse 35. I am saying this, he says, for your own good and not to restrict you. The word which he uses there is the word brokos, which is a slipknot which would be put on a rope to go around the neck of a beast that you were seeking to harness. He says, my intention is not to put a halter around your necks and to bring you into bondage.

Now, the very fact that he points that out is an indication of the fact that many people would probably begin to think that that is exactly what he's trying to do. No, no, he says, my concern is that I want to protect you. I want to protect you from the trouble that you might face, because there is a lot of trouble, he says, wrapped up in this marriage thing. The word which he uses is the word flipsos, which means tribulation or pressure or affliction.

Verse 28, I've been searching for it. Those who marry will face many troubles in this life. And I want to spare you this.

So you're married, and it's cool, right? But there's a lot of trouble involved. I mean, you go to a restaurant as a single person, you got enough money in your pocket to pay for one, okay? Now, you may want to pay for two. But I go, I got enough money to pay for five. And then I've got to be concerned about why three of the five didn't really like what we chose. Then I've got to be ticked off about that and troubled and concerned and disgusted, and whatever it might be. So he's writing, he says, I want you to know that when I say these things, I've made clear my context, he says, now my concern is that you might be protected—protected from trouble and protected from distraction and protected from concerns, not because of the pragmatics that I'm suggesting to you so that you can be a happy single, but as we're about to see, so that you can give your undivided attention to the Lord and to his kingdom. But what I'm mentioning is just a little byproduct as it happens. So number one, there is protection.

Number two, there is provision. Like a good shepherd, he is seeking not only to protect them from harm but also seeking to benefit from them. Again, verse 35. I'm saying this for your own good. Or as Phillips puts it, I tell you these things to help you. I'm not, he says, putting difficulties in your path, but I'm seeking to provide for you which will be for your profit and for your advantage. In doing so, he's truthful, he's forceful, he's clear. People may not like what he says, but nevertheless, he is a shepherd. He wants to protect them, and he wants to provide for them. By his own testimony, when he took his leave of the Ephesian elders, he was able to say to them, I have not hesitated to proclaim to you the whole will of God.

And the third matter is that they would be men and women of devotion. You'll notice again in verse 35 he says that you may live in a right way. There is a right way to live.

The word which is used here means well-shaped or proper or marked by decorum, marked by decency, and Paul says, That's how I want you to live. I want you to live in unhindered devotion to the Lord Jesus. I want you to live in unhindered devotion to the Lord Jesus.

I want you to live in unhindered devotion to the Lord Jesus. In a time of crisis, in a time that's short, in a world that is passing away, my great concern for you, he says, is that you would sell out for Jesus Christ. Now, when we begin to understand, you see, this context and this concern, then it begins to make sense how he longs to see men and women given over to the service of God and without any distraction. That then brings us to what I think is the pivotal statement in the whole chapter.

It follows on from the statement in verse 29 and embodies, essentially, verse 29b through the beginning of verse 31. That moves us then from context through concern to the content of his instruction. And I just want to deal briefly with this for a moment before we wrap this up this evening. What I mean, brothers, is this, that the time is short. And then he says, from now on, in light of this, I want to tell you these things.

The world is passing away, eternity is reality, and time is transient. Therefore, I want you to have an eternal perspective brought to bear on every aspect of your lives. Now, notice the aspects that he is concerned about. First of all, relationships. From now on, those who have wives should live as if they didn't have a wife.

And we're going to have to understand what that means. But he says, eternity has an impact on relationships, has an impact upon the whole question of sex. Secondly, eternity has an impact on death, those who mourn as if they didn't mourn. Thirdly, eternity has an impact on happiness, those who are happy as if they were not. Fourthly, eternity has an impact on possessions, those who buy something as if it were not theirs to keep. And fifthly, eternity has an impact on culture, those who use the things of the world as if not engrossed in them. And people say, do you think the Bible is relevant? Yes, it's relevant. This is phenomenally relevant. What he is saying is this, that the word and instruction of the Spirit of God given to him, which he now communicates through 1 Corinthians 7, touches upon the very essential areas of our lives—sex, death, happiness, things, and culture.

Tell me you aren't concerned about any one of those. They are the warp and woof of life. And he says, when you understand these keys, then you will live differently in relationship to those things. Now, obviously, the preponderance of his time is given to the issue of relationships, and that is what the broad sweep of 1 Corinthians 7 is about. But because they're here, I want you just to trace them with me in reverse order when we come to relationships or before we will stop and save that for next time. The perspective of eternity has an impact on the way we view culture.

That is verse 31. Those who use the things of the world. Well, do you use the things of the world?

Do I use the things of the world? Of course we do. We're in the world.

It's an all-embracing designation. Well, he says, when you view things of this world as you use them from a different perspective, then you will understand what it is to be involved in them without being engrossed by them. Involved without being engrossed. How many times in a week do you hear somebody say, Oh, I just live for such and such? Oh, I just live for my dog?

You do? Boy, you must have a dull life. You must have a dull life. Oh, I just live for my music. Oh, he just lives for his job. He just lives to read.

Fill it in any way you choose. Frequently, people say these kind of things. We just live for our occupation. I go there early in the morning.

I come back late in the evening. I just live to work. Well, is there a Christian perspective on that? Yes, exactly. Christian faith must change the way in which we view the culture in which we move. We use the things of the world, but not as those engrossed by them.

That is the change which Jesus makes. That is so hard to work out. In some measure, it's easy for me to say. After all, I don't have what many of you have in terms of the privileges and opportunities of a daily routine. I'm removed from them. I don't walk those corridors. I don't do those things.

Many, on Monday, I wish I did. But the fact is, I don't. So, you men out there who walk those hallways and you ladies who live those lives, you are going to be able to apply this to your lives with clarity. Living in this culture, using the things of the culture, but not engrossed by the culture. Because, you see, fading is the worldling's pleasure, all is boasted pomp and all is show, and solid joys and lasting treasure none but Zion's children know. So, the parties to which we go where there is a Christian presence ought to be different from the parties where there is no Christian presence. When there is a Christian presence in conversation, it ought to be different, because there will be a huge and glaring discrepancy between the preoccupations of those who are engrossed with our culture and those who are involved in the culture but not engrossed by it.

It has an impact, then, on culture. Secondly, it has an impact on the way we view possessions. Look what he says, backing up through the verses, those who buy something as if it were not theirs to keep. Those who buy something as if it were not theirs to keep. In other words, he is discriminating between what it means to have things and what it means for things to have us.

Surely this is one of the great tyrannies of all of our lives, is it not? Do I have possessions, or do possessions have me? When I'm more concerned about my bank balance on earth than I am in any kind of interest in heavenly banking, when my preoccupation with my house down here is so significant that I have lost all interest in any possibility of a heavenly dwelling up there, when the joy that I sense in driving my car means more to me than what it might mean to drive around in heaven or run around in heaven, when playing the sound system of my stereo fills me with such excitement because of the woofers and the twitters and the who-knows-whaters that I have got no prospect of ever being in heaven and sharing in angel choirs, then I just found out that I'm on the wrong side of this equation. I am not living with eternity's perspective, and I am not fulfilling what he calls me to here—namely, when I buy something, I may hold it but lightly, not tightly, because it isn't mine to keep. Because we can't keep anything. We won't take anything with us in our coffins. And from a purely pragmatic point of view, it is such a stupid tyranny to be tied to stuff.

But we are. Also, what about happiness and eternal perspective on happiness? Those who are happy as if they were not.

What? What's he saying? He's saying that in the preoccupations of our culture, which lives to make us feel good, he's not saying there's any virtue in feeling bad as an alternative. What he's saying is that when eternity looms large, the things that give us the greatest joy down here lose their joy. I mean, remember the day you graduated from high school? That was a great day. And you were happy that day. But in comparison to what it will mean to graduate from earth to heaven and stand before Christ, it's nothing.

Think of all the happiness that was in your heart as you stood at the end of the aisle and waited for your bride to walk down the aisle, or there's a girl in reverse, whatever it was. Nobody could have taken that happiness away. No one wanted to denigrate that happiness. But in relationship to what heaven will mean, it doesn't even come on the computer screen.

No matter what it is that we may get, whether we derive happiness from personal success, the happiness that we feel in getting promoted, the happiness that we feel in receiving an inheritance, the happiness that we feel in seeing our children succeed, all of that, he says, when eternity breaks in, those of us who find happiness in that should be as if we weren't even happy about it at all. See, that's different. It's different.

It's revolutionary. You see, I think this is why worship is so important, incidentally, as an aside. It's why it's so important that we enter into worship when we come together as the people of God.

Because there is great power in corporate praise. There is a sense in which God in these moments opens to us just a tiny corner of the curtain of heaven and allows us to see through in a way that may not be ours to enjoy as we drive around or as we walk around. And therefore, when we become change jinglers and when we become observers in relationship to worship, we deprive ourselves of the opportunity of getting that little glimpse, which puts everything in order. And I think it's only when eternity creeps up upon us and grabs us or strokes us on the back of the neck that we can take everything that represents happiness to us and say, That doesn't even make me happy in comparison to the prospect of what this means. See how earthbound we are? Because some of us are having a really hard time making the connection. Because everything that made us happy last week had to do with earth.

Everything that made us happy last week had to do with time. Eternity never even was featured in our thinking. The same thing is true of death, he said. Those who mourn as if they didn't. He's not suggesting stoicism. He's not suggesting that Christian faith makes us sterile and emotionless. But what he's saying is this. In terms of the loss of a loved one, even through our tears, we're not going to lose hope, we're not going to lose purpose, we're not going to ultimately fall apart, we're not going to lose all our motivation for life.

Why? Because of eternity. Now, it's not Paul's emphasis, nor is it his purpose to fully develop these areas, and that's why I wanted just to make a cursory overview of them with you. But even this brief overview should clearly show us just how relevant the impact of eternity will be in the practical areas of our lives. Let me summarize it with Philip's paraphrase.

This is what he says. There is no time to indulge in sorrow. No time for enjoying our joys. Those who buy have no time to enjoy their possessions, and indeed their every contact with the world must be as light as possible, for the present scheme of things is actually passing away. Do you see how antithetical this is to our self-oriented culture? Do you see what this does to every advertising ploy, in every magazine and in every television commercial, that sucks us down into its quagmire of sex and possessions and happiness and culture and death? When we begin to wrestle with this, we understand why it is that Peter says, you are a peculiar people.

You are a peculiar people. Because if ever the Spirit of God would get a hold of our hearts in relationship to this, that has to do with relationships, and with death, and with happiness, and with things, and with culture, now the world has got something to see when it comes amongst the church. And what does it see when it comes amongst the church? The same preoccupations as the world outside the church. The same incidences of divorce. The same incidences of promiscuity. The same incidences of infidelity. Something's wrong.

I'll tell you what it is. The keys in 1 Corinthians 7—crisis, brevity, and a passing world—have been lost sight of, and we find ourselves whitewashed just enough to pass inspection of blind guides. Read 1 Corinthians 7.

Pray 1 Corinthians 7 through. Think about the question of whether you ought to get married in light of these things tonight, and what you ought to be doing with your marriage in light of these things tonight. And God willing, when we come back, we will try with the help of the Lord to bring these keys and concerns to bear upon the express question of singlehood and marriage.

When we begin to view life in light of eternity, it changes the way we worship, it reorders our priorities, and holding on to this perspective will always be a help to us in singleness and marriage in every part of our life. You're listening to Truth for Life with Alistair Begg. Please keep listening. Alistair will return to close the program in just a minute.

Our current series is titled We Too Are One. As a companion to this study, we want to encourage you to request a copy of Alistair's book, Lasting Love—How to Avoid Marital Failure. In the book, Alistair unpacks God's design for marriage. He explores the important roles husbands and wives should embrace in order to ensure that their marriage is lifelong, joyful, and God-honoring. He also explains the pitfalls married couples will want to avoid. The book is filled with biblical wisdom. You'll learn the important theological foundations of marriage, and you and your spouse or your future spouse can work through a series of questions that Alistair has included in the back of the book to help you strengthen your relationship.

Learn how to enjoy a marriage that will last a lifetime. Request Lasting Love when you donate to Truth for Life. To give, click the image you see in the mobile app or visit us online at truthforlife.org slash donate, or you can call us at 888-588-7884. And if you'd rather mail your donation along with your request for the book, write to Truth for Life at post office box 398000, Cleveland, Ohio 44139.

By the way, the book Lasting Love makes an excellent engagement or wedding gift, so if you'd like to purchase additional copies, they're available at our cost at truthforlife.org slash store. At Truth for Life, we make it our practice to offer as many free or low-cost resources as we possibly can. We want to provide you with clear, relevant Bible teaching so you can learn more about God's Word. In fact, that's our mission to open the Scriptures each day to help all who listen better understand and apply God's Word in their daily lives. Our prayer is that God's Spirit will work through his Word so that unbelievers will come to know Jesus as their Savior, believers will grow in faith, and local churches will be strengthened. Every time you pray for this ministry or you donate, that's the mission you're supporting. Your prayers and your giving help bring the gospel message to listeners all around the globe through Truth for Life, so thank you.

Now here's Alistair to close with prayer. Father, you know the burden of our hearts here is a leadership in this church, that for your glory and because of your mercy, our congregation may not be proud and arrogant, that we who lead may not have a posture that would lead our folks in that way, but that we do have a burning longing in our hearts that the Word of God may be brought to bear upon the people of God by the Spirit of God in such a way that we might begin at least to a that we might begin at least to approximate to the peculiarities which will mark those who have begun to wrestle with eternal values as they impact all these things we've considered now. Lord, we pray that you will give us undivided hearts and that you will help us so to wrestle with the claims of your Word, that as our days open before us in singleness or in marriage, that we might be as lights in a dark place. And as we look out on the challenges and opportunities of the week before us, we pray that we might live and move and have our being within the framework of eternity. May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ and the love of God and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be the abiding portion of each one tonight and forevermore. Amen.

I'm Bob Lapine. Thanks for listening. Tomorrow we'll hear how an eternal perspective changes the way we view relationships. How do we prioritize God and His work without neglecting our marriage or our family? Is it better to stay single? We'll find out more tomorrow. The Bible teaching of Alistair Begg is furnished by Truth for Life where the Learning is for Living.