Gossip

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Not everybody showed up that was supposed to this week.

Well, you know, I don't know if you guys have heard this, but. There was a guy that said that he wanted to use a particular topic this week. and it was about gossip. And I've heard that he just did that on purpose and then decided not to be a part of the show. It's just like him to do that.

I know it is just like Robby Dilmore to do that sort of thing. Yeah, yeah. You forgot he had a monthly meeting he has every month. Yeah. Yeah.

No, that that's what gossip sounds like. Yeah, that's uh but it is true, but that is what gossip could sound like. And and you can, I believe, gossip. Why telling the truth? Oh yeah.

Yeah, with that saying.

Well, I'll come back to that in a little bit. I'll share a story. But anyway, we're talking about gossip today. And in the studio, we have about half our team. And so that'll be good.

And uh see what God brings up along the topic and So I'm gonna start with a clip from the TV show The Office. And this is not my clip. This is Jim's clip. And Jim couldn't make it tonight. But he had this clip.

And this clip is really good about people's motivation to gossip. And how many different angles they can try to gossip. And so you're gonna hear Michael Scott, who's the boss from the office, and he's gonna be. Talking about gossip in other words, and then examples of when he does it in several different situations. And so, we're going to go ahead and listen to that and come back and talk about it.

How do you untell something you can't? You can't put words back in your mouth. What you can do. is spread false gossip.

So that people think that everything that's been said is untrue. Pam, I have to let somebody go today. Why did you put it off until Halloween? because it's very scary stuff. I think it's gonna put a damper on the party a little.

You're worried about the party? There's a man's life at stake here.

So it's a man? No. I got a little something-something. I don't know if I should say.

So just keep it to yourself. Stanley is having a midlife crisis. Stanley is way past the middle of his life. Especially considering his height to weight ratio.

Well, apparently, he and his wife were out dancing at a club for young people. Terry's out of town, Michael. Who? Stanley's wife, Terry. She's at an interior decorating expo in Philly.

Stanley hates crowds, kids and music. I think you should check your facts.

Okay, I made it all up. Yes. Just got your corporate credit card back. Do you really want me to take it away again? It's ridiculous.

They took my card away because I spent 80 bucks at a magic shop. What they don't understand is that I bought this stuff to impress potential clients.

So business-related. I'm not processing this. Look, Jim.

Okay. Needed a relaxing lunch. He has been depressed and it has been affecting his productivity. How is that not work-related? He seems fine to me.

You're not his friend. You don't know. He is in love with a girl he works with who's engaged, so just come me some slack, please. Pam? One of the Stanford people is a criminal?

What we need to do. is to forget. about this whole Martin in prison thing. Martin. from Stanford.

was at one time. In prison. Yeah. So there's a lot of different little clips there, but you can hear him just in a lot of different situations decide that gossip's the tool he's going to use to get through the situation. Right, so apparently at the beginning, at the very part of that, he had told some gossip, and it got out there, and so he just started making a whole bunch of other things up.

So the people wouldn't believe anything. That was a strategy instead of dealing with the issue. You know? And then when he spends money on his corporate credit card than he shouldn't, he throws a coworker under the bus. and makes it look like, you know, he's trying to do him a favor.

Right. And then at the last part of that clip, I remember watching this show. There had been a person that had been in prison and Michael had found out about it because he was the boss and he started telling everybody about it. And telling him not to say anything, and then he brings a big meeting together and tells him not to say anything and turns around and says it again. You know, and that's just the way gossip can be.

Yeah. It's you know, when I bring up the word gossip, what kind of comes to your guys' mind? You know, what how would you define that? I would define it as basically saying anything. Truer False, doesn't matter.

anything that's not yours to share. Mm-hmm. I mean, ultimately that's that's And, you know, we've dealt with that a lot in our ministry because. We do have guys share with things, you know, share things with us that They wouldn't want us to talk about on the radio, or they wouldn't want us to even talk about maybe with our wives or anything else. And so.

Just because it's true doesn't mean it's not gossip and you know, and if it's a lie, well, now you've doubled up. You got your lie and your gossip that you're you know worthy of death for. Absolutely. And we'll we'll look at that scripturally here in a little bit. Harold, you had something you wanted to add to that?

I think one of the things that people Gossip is so they can prove that they know something that you don't. Yeah, to puff themselves up. Yeah, it's it's like, hey. I'm more important than you. I I knew this and you did.

Yeah, or they want to make themselves relevant. Be judging. Yeah. Yeah. They are doing that.

Yeah, I think that's probably the. I tend to think that might be the most important reason why people do it, what Harold just said, is it's not so much. I mean, in school You know, our moms told us, well, look, if that person's talking about you, then that means they don't feel good about themselves. And so they're talking about you so that they can drag you down. In order for them to feel better about themselves.

And yes, there's some truth to that. I mean, definitely real truth to that. But as adults You get that. You do. But I think a lot of times it is, hey, I know something.

The pastor told me. You know, the the elders told me or, you know, whatever my boss said, or our boss said, or You know, those sorts of things, so as to make yourself more important than you really are. Yeah. Exactly. Terry, you were asking and and Darren gave us some clarity about, you know, how truth can be gossip.

But the the thing that came to my mind is when I was going through my divorce, I'd very aptly share the things my wife did wrong and was very quiet about the things I did wrong. you know, I'd tell part of the story. You know, I'd paint a picture that was not the full picture. Right? And that's another way of gossiping.

It's another way of, if you don't tell the full truth, you're telling a lie. Right. And so that's part of it, you know. And when you start to realize that, you have a couple of things you can do with it. You can keep doing it and pretend it doesn't matter, or you can feel convicted and decide you're not going to do that again.

Sarah was, in fact, Abraham's half-sister. Absolutely. But she was also his wife. Yeah, he didn't share that part of the story. Yeah.

Just said how it was a sister. That was not gossiping. It was not gossiping, but it, well, it kind of was. It wasn't the full truth in the midst of it.

Now, Harold, you said something earlier in the the prep about There are two sins that even Christians somewhat find acceptable to some degree. Yeah, the the It seems to me that uh gluttony and gossip are two acceptable sins in the Christian community. Yeah. Yeah, you know, it's uh You go to a carry-in at church. Right, and once you sit there long enough, obviously, people start talking about someone at some point.

And they're typically going back for their second or third plate of food. And so that does happen in, I can't say every church, but it does happen in lots of churches. And if we're truthful, it probably happens in more than what we want to say it does. Then the people who get coffee are gossiping. That's right.

They're talking around the water cooler. I mean, how many times have I read in a. In a Literal memo. for a corporation. You know, water cooler talk.

That, you know, that's, oh, we're just, you know, just chatting, yeah, about. what? And is it productive? And and you know, Harold had brought up a scripture from Ephesians earlier about that, which he'll share in a little bit. But You know, if you go read Romans 1.

You don't get very far into the book of Romans. A book all about grace. quite frankly. Um But That book about grace starts out with a few chapters about how all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, right? And one of the lists that's in Romans 1 starts talking about murder and sexual immorality and and lasciviousness and and covetousness and you know greed and every form of malice, it says.

And Gossip. Mm-hmm. And it says that all of these are worthy of death. And and to Harold's point, Yeah, we we think murder is definitely worthy of murder. But If right now, if you went home tonight and on whatever your favorite news station was.

They said.

Well, a man's on trial to day for Gossip. And he's faced with the death penalty. That would freak everybody. I mean, our whole world would come unglued over that one. And yet.

According to God, It's roughly the same. as murder or Anything else in that regard. I look at the point when you say that. I'm thinking, but the scripture says that. Um the power of death.

The power of life and death is in the town. Yeah, and James, I think it says that.

So I mean, and I looked at that. over a while and have kind of formed a thing in me where Talk without prayer. It was just like gossiping in sense. You know, if you can spend 10 minutes talking about something, you should be able to pray about that thing according to what that matter is. You know, just to have conversation and walk out.

You might as well say, especially in the life of a Christian, you should be closing that thing somewhat in prayer. Yeah. Yeah, I mean that's I think that's the shell of who we need to be as far as Christians. That's good. It's a good point.

I want to read a a passage. In Proverbs 6, 16 through 19, this is the NIV version. It says, there are six things the Lord hates. And I want you to, as you list these, how many of them does gossip fall into?

Okay, some it doesn't, but some it plays a part in it. The first one is haughty eyes. The second one's a lying tongue. Hands that shed innocent blood. A heart that devises wicked schemes.

feet that are quick to rush into evil, A false witness who pours out lies. and a person who stirs up conflict in the community. That's about four of the six that God really detests. And so I want you to think about that as we go to our break, and we'll talk to you after the break. What we have at our boot camp is something that makes you stronger and gives you the strength to go on your regular walk with God.

It's something that will make you be bigger than you were when you got there. What brings you here this weekend?

So I met Robby and he invited me to come to the boot camp and there were just so many doors that were closed before I was able to come here, but God allowed these things to happen. And I said, you know, God, I'm going to ultimately acknowledge what's going on for all these doors to be open for me to come to this camp. I just want to seek you.

So throughout that time, since I've been here, you know, just the illumination of God speaking to me through my heart and through my mind and through my soul is just, it's going to a whole nother level since I've been here at the boot camp. The covenant of silence after the talks and being able to go out and just submit myself to being able to hear from God and what we've been working on and it's just been transparent in my life. The level of the sanctification process, the discipleship process, and coming here, I feel like this is exactly where I'm supposed to be. Register today at masculinejourney.org. To speak light.

Street line. To the deadest, darkest night. Speak life, speak life. When the sun won't shine, and you don't know why. Look into the eyes of the broken heart, and watch them come alive as soon as you speak.

You speak love, you speak love. It's figuring out. Welcome back to Masculine Journey. We are talking about the topic of gossip, and I picked that bump. It's from Toby Mac.

It's called Speak Life, obviously, that's the name of it. But as I tried to look up songs that had gossip in them, Honestly, I couldn't find a good one. Really, the ones I could find, I couldn't edit enough to get on the air. You know, it was just so brutal, just the language that was in it. You know, it was a lot of today's music, and it had a lot of the reflection of the words they use today.

You know, and but then I started, I heard this song. You know, Speak Life from Toby Mack, and I was not familiar with it, quite honestly, but I liked it because it really comes down to a couple of things. We have choices, and you said it very well, Terry, earlier. You know, uh the power of life and death is in the tongue.

So if you're not speaking life, what are you probably speaking? Absolutely. Right? He doesn't give you a third choice there. No.

Um, I you know, and I I think that Um The scripture that Harold is going to share here in a minute. Are you queued up to share that in a minute? I think it speaks to that as well. Go ahead, Harold. This is from Ephesians chapter 4.

I'm starting in verse 25. Therefore, having laid aside falsehood, each one of you speak the truth with his neighbour. for we are members of one another. Be angry and do not sin. Do not let the sun go down on the cause of your anger.

Do not give the devil an opportunity. The one who steals must steal no longer. rather he must labour, doing good with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with the one who has need. You must let no unwholesome word come out of your mouth. but only what is beneficial for the building up of the one in need.

that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God. by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. you must put away every kind of bitterness, anger, wrath, Quarrelling and evil stood. Slanderous talk.

instead be kind to one another. compassionate. forgiving one another, just as God in Christ also forgave you. Yeah. So uh Putting gossip in with all of these other things there, it kind of tells you where it fits.

Yeah. Yeah, we're getting a little bit of evidence here. I think God doesn't like it too much. Yeah, God doesn't like it. I mean, He flat out says: look, if it's going to come out of your mouth, make sure that it's going to give grace to its hearers, to the hearers.

And He even, when he lays down the Basically, the requirements of a pastor, shepherd, elder. Um one of those is that His family is in line with These moral high ground places. And that The wife shouldn't be a gossip.

Now, he just uses that term. That's not to say that women are the only ones that are gossip. They're not. I talk about them all the time. You talk about women a lot, Sam.

No. But. Yeah, that's kind of the point, is even when we're talking about being a qualified leader. In God's economy, in God's kingdom, one of the things that God feels like He needs to mention is: don't gossip. Because of those things that you read before in Proverbs.

that I mean The very last thing that in that section that God abhors the most, it appears. is The man who serves discord, who stirs discord in the community. Yeah. Right? And he's talking about the community of God's people.

I mean, yes, it applies no matter what you're doing, but definitely in the community of God's people. And I mean, I gotta tell ya. I was the you know, lead pastor of three different churches over about twenty years. That is the Major issue. Or it was in those three churches.

And I think it is in pretty much all of them. Just because something is true. doesn't mean it needs to be said. you can take something that is true. And if you're intent his harm.

then you've sinned just as bad as telling something that's not true. Yeah. What's your motive behind what you're sharing? Exactly. Yeah.

I I'm gonna um based on that, I want to play another clip. This is from our friend Danny. And it's from the Andy Griffiths show. Danny was going to call in, but we're having some phone trouble tonight, so he was unable to call in. But this is on the subject of gossip and how it kinda has its own life.

Yeah. You know, it'll start one place and may not always end up there.

So we're going to listen to how it plays out. Morning, ladies. My goodness, don't you look happy? Must be cutting somebody up pretty good. Oh, I was just funny.

Now Heidi Fred, could I have some sulfur powder? Andy, are you hurt? Oh, no, Barney just cut his finger a little bit, taking his gun apart, and I don't get an infection. Here's a sample. You might as well sprinkle the whole thing on it.

All right, much obliged, Fred. Bye ladies. Bye Andy. Just a little cut. And he come running all the way over here for sofa powder.

All the way? Emma, the courthouse is just across the street. All the same. I think there's more to this. Than meets the eye.

Oh, he says it's a scratch on his finger. But I notice he's calling on one of those miracle drugs to heal Barney. Dear, I was right there when Andy came rushing in. Barney got his hand caught in the revolver and got himself a serious infection.

Well, the way I heard it, Barney was cleaning his gun or something, and he ripped his arm clear up to his shoulder. Did you hear the terrible news? Barney Five shot himself in the chest. Sheriff's Office. Are we aware of what?

What? Who it What's that?

Somebody just called to say I'm there. But call! He said Bernie Fank shot himself in the chest. He did. You think I'd know if I shot myself in the chest, wouldn't you?

I'd smart. I think so.

Well, Danny, thank you for that clip. That was pretty awesome because it does show how it just kind of grows and it takes on its own life. Yeah. Right. Um a story I wanted to share back when I was in Indiana and I was building houses, it was on my first job site where I was the superintendent.

I was running the job site back at the time, and they hired a new warranty person for me. And I found out through some friends that after the guy had started he started sharing things about me that was not true. like saying I wasn't ever at the job site, that I wasn't doing things right. You know, I did try to do one time with him, like it says in scripture in Matthew 18:15, if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you've gained a brother, right?

So I went and talked to him, and of course he denied anything. Oh, no, no, no, that was a misunderstanding. And then it continued and got worse. And so I didn't recognize this as being God at the time. You would have thought that I should have, because I I was a Christian, but I wasn't praying like I should, you know, and I was just mad.

And uh the the human part of me went to go strangle the guy. You know, and I know if I went and talked to him again, it would end up with me getting fired for punching him. I'm pretty sure that's what had happened. You know, because I was just over the guy. But something inside me said Just keep doing your job.

Let it play out. You know, and I listened to it, surprisingly, because I wasn't always good at listening to that thing. And so I listened to it, which I recognized later as the Holy Spirit. And every time something else would come up, and I'd think, when's this going to end? I'd just hear this, just stay the course.

Let it play out. And eventually, it did play out to the point where he shared something that was obviously not true about someone else. And everything had come unraveling for him and he got fired. Right, you know, but had I stepped in, had I done what I wanted to do, had I done anything other than what the Spirit was telling me? It probably ended up with both of us having a job lost, or me having my job lost.

'Cause what he was really after was he thought if he could get me fired he could take my role. Mm. And that was his motivation, from what I understood later. But, you know, it can be so damaging. When they do that, and I would love to share a story of my gossiping, other than what I talked about when I was getting a divorce.

But as we talked before the show, I know I've done it. I just can't think of a time Yeah. you know, and maybe it's 'cause I I I tell myself it wasn't a big deal. Right. But to the people that it was about, it was a huge deal.

Right? And like I say, I know I've done it. I know I've been guilty of it. I know that if I try to do it again, the Holy Spirit convicts me. Mm-hmm.

And it makes me say, No, you can't do that. You're not being your authentic self. You know, and I'm being disloyal to people and I don't have no desire to do that. Right. But uh one other aspect of it I wanted to bring up is I think times that we're not intending to gossip We're not following the Matthew scripture I just talked about.

We'll go talk to somebody else about someone. Mm-hmm. And share because our feelings are hurt. Maybe we have no improper intent. Right, but in a sense, we're just doing the exact same thing.

Because what we're supposed to do is go confront that person as long as it's safe. Right, to go do that. But I think that's where a lot of times and then hopefully that person keeps it to themself, but if they don't and they share it with someone else. And now you see how it can be the Andy Griffith story again. Right.

Speaking of Griffin's. Barney Zone did not sit in that one, did not gossip. Yeah, Barney didn't. He said, This is the office door. Yeah, he was just cleaning his gun and got a scratch.

I have no idea who he was.

So Proverbs 26, verse 22 says this. And this is, I think this is why gossip is so tempting. Um It says the words of a tale bearer are like tasty trifles. and they go down into the inmost body. And man, when you give somebody a tasty trifle?

They're going to praise you for that. Oh, man. I'm ready. What scripture was that? It's Proverbs 26, verse 22.

And I think that's the temptation is, you know, you do it.

Somebody, you know, makes you really valuable in their life because you shared this thing with them. And then that makes you feel good. It's not in a good way, but it makes you. evil Makes you, you know, tricks you into thinking, oh, I'm more important than I thought I was. and then it just cycles.

And there's also something to be said for just receiving it and acknowledging it. That you're also in a bad place because you're being in a place of judgment. You know, if you like to hear gossip, like I gotta admit, there's times I've liked to hear it. Right, but what I'm doing is I'm judging others. Based upon, they're at least better than that.

Go to masconjourney.org. We will talk to you next week.