Hello and welcome to Wisdom for the Heart with Stephen Davey. I'm your host, Scott Wiley. Just before we get started, please take a moment and subscribe to this podcast. We'd also be grateful if you'd leave a review. That helps more people find this content.
Now, here's Stephen. These older women then have lived long enough to figure out the lie. of Madison Avenue. They know, as one man said, the dead end of despair of women. Who are all about high fashion on the outside and bargain basement on the inside?
And by the way, men. It would probably help our sisters and our mothers out tremendously if we honored them. Not so much because of the condition of their face, but the condition of their faith. In our last study, we began to explore. One of the most significant family talks recorded in the New Testament.
The Apostle Paul is encouraging Titus to gather the church family together. And to effectively have a family talk with all the older men. All the older women. All the young women and all of the young men and even the household servants. And the reason is clear.
Paul wants to make sure that the culture of the church is not dictated by the lifestyle of the Cretans. those that lived on the island of Crete. but that the Cretans are impacted by the lifestyle of the Christian. And isn't that really in every generation the desperate challenge? of the hour.
ringing in my ears. Is still the comment of George Gallup, who said. Over 25 years ago, never before has the Christian church made such inroads into society while at the same time making so little difference. And that was 25 years ago.
Well, what Paul is doing in this family talk is not telling Christians how to fit into their culture. or how to be appreciated by their culture. He's telling them how to radically create a new culture. with new relationships and new objectives, new goals, No distinctives. In fact, a new lifestyle.
And this text becomes and still is today one of the most politically incorrect. chapters In the New Testament, because it flies in the face of everything culture says we are to pursue. Everything older men ought to be, everything older women ought to be, everything young mothers ought to be, and everything young men ought to be. and strive for. In fact, if you want to carve out sort of the key verse, Oh, Titus.
It's found in chapter 2, down at verse 14. We'll look at it more carefully, closely later, but. This is it. Jesus Christ gave himself For us. And now we're given Two reasons why.
First, to redeem us from every lawless deed. and to purify for himself a possession. a people of his own. possession. Who, secondly, are zealous For good deeds.
Now the church tends to stop with the first reason. We've been redeemed. Great. Let's put a period there and wait for the rapture. No, keep going.
We've not only been redeemed, we have been assigned. to a totally different way of living. In our last study, we noted first and foremost the challenge given to older men, verse 2, to be temperant. dignified, sensible, sound in faith. in love, in perseverance.
Now, Paul is going to move on and begin to address another part of the family in verse 3, and that is older women. He's going to tell Titus, look, I want you to tell older women. What to do?
Now it's one thing to tell an older man what to do. It's another thing entirely to tell an older woman. What to do?
And to make matters even more challenging, Titus? and Timothy are both young pastors. This would be quite an assignment to challenge the older men. And the older women. I mean, basically, he's telling Titus to have the audacity and the courage to go into an existing church and, after being there for a while, establish those men who will be elders, leaders in the church.
And then, without even a breather, tell the older men how to live. And now, by the way, don't leave them out, tell the older women. How to live. How to act. Paul told Timothy, in fact, earlier.
to treat younger men like brothers. younger women like sisters in all purity. To treat older men as fathers and older women as mothers. 1 Timothy 5, 2. And there's great insight in that text for every one of us.
If you want to know how to treat the person around you in the family, if they're older, treat them like a father or mother. If they're younger, treat them like your sister or your brother. Titus, no matter how old you are. Deliver to them this message. Tell the older men.
That that They need to model what matters in life. Their perseverance and faith And love needs to spill over into the lives of others. Certainly younger men. Older men, don't be ashamed of acting. Your age.
We need more of that, not less. Show, if you were with us, we studied the dignity of your station in life. And now, Titus? Talk to the older women. The word, by the way, likewise in verse 3, older women likewise, does not mean that older women were to act like the older men, and now he has a few more things to add to them.
The word likewise actually points back grammatically to Titus. And he's being told, teach older men, and just like you teach them, make sure you don't leave older women out, likewise teach them. Two. Teach the old Women. Don't leave them out of this family talk.
So here's the same critical question we faced last time. Who qualifies to be an older woman? in the church family. Who classifies here as an old woman? I'm not answering that.
If Paul doesn't have the guts to clarify it, why should I, okay? The context here actually reveals that Paul is focusing on married women who may be actually younger than you might think. She's only old enough as it relates to the fact that she. has raised her children. She's older, in that in our modern vernacular, we'd say she's an empty nester.
She could be anywhere from her early forties. to her early 60s. And frankly, in the mind of Paul, I think that he would say the older. is better. Because he's referring to women who've lived long enough, like older men, to know what matters.
The church, frankly, in every generation, in a variety of ways. Is incredibly blessed by the effort and the energy. The passion and the service of older women. They have earned the right To turn around and teach the younger women who are right in the middle of raising their family. Man, they know better than anybody else.
The challenges and the dangers and the discouragements and the pitfalls. of being in that Stage of life experience. But they have earned that right only if these four distinctives are part of their lives. The first distinctive basically covers all the rest. Paul writes in verse 3.
Older women likewise. or to be reverent in their behavior. Two of these these distinctives, by the way, are positive, two are negative. First, they are to be reverent. And let me put it this way.
They're This verse distinctive. There is a sacredness. about her. They're to be reverent. One author asks the question: And what is Paul expecting mature women in the faith to project?
Through there. Posture, their personality, their deportment, their demeanor. In a word, Holiness. That just serves as a categorical Description. of this older woman.
These older women then have lived long enough to figure out the lie. of Madison Avenue. They happen to know by now, in fact, they've grown concerned enough to get involved in the lives of younger women because they've learned by now that younger women are in the process. of being ripped off. And left empty.
They know, as one man said, the dead end of despair of women. Who are all about high fashion on the outside and bargain basement on the inside? And by the way, men. It would probably help our sisters and our mothers out tremendously if we honored them and respected them, not so much because of the condition of their face, but the condition of their faith. And that will take great courage.
and great encouragement. I got an email several months ago. From an older woman in our congregation. I've edited her note just a little bit to read some of it to you. She writes: As I've been reading Titus.
To get Ready for our series. I note that godly character must be lived out in godly conduct. I need this reminder: all capitalization. When I step out of my domain, I become a counterfeit message. And not a complimentary message.
And I'm praying that our study of Titus will help me become a more godly, older woman for the Lord. She gets it. This is the first distinctive. There's something sacred about her. With that, Paul adds the first of two negative.
distinctives which would disqualify a woman from mentoring. Younger women, look at verse 3. Older women, likewise, are to be reverent in their behavior. Not malicious. Gossips.
If I could put this distinctive in a positive frame of reference, which I want to do for all four distinctives. There's not only a sense of sacredness about her, There is a sweetness. about her. The opposite of which is described here as a malicious gossip. Simply put, she is going to, as a godly older woman, refuse to tear someone down.
She's focused on building someone up. She refuses to be a grape. On the grapevine. And if she hears a story, the story stops. With her, She refuses to keep the story going.
What happened to that story?
Well, I told so-and-so and it just... It just. stopped there. Literally, Paul is saying that she's not. To be among the older women who are malicious gossips.
And I gotta tell you, Paul again doesn't pull any punches here. In fact, the word he uses for gossip can be literally translated she devil. Titus Go tell those older women to stop being she-devils. The masculine singular form of this word is always used in the New Testament. For the devil himself.
So Paul is saying older women shouldn't talk like the devil.
Well, how does the devil talk? He's always running you down. He's always accusing you. Third, There is also a sobriety. About her.
The third distinctive is equally negative. Paul writes: they should not be malicious gossips, nor. enslaved Too much wine. In other words, they should be in control of what comes out of their mouth and what goes in. Frankly, we could broaden alcoholism to any addiction that masters life.
A habit that puts a distance between yourself and wholesome relationships and ministry. godly living. It might even be something good that you've just allowed to grow in excess. It just dominates your life now. I found it interesting in reading some of the biography of John Bunyan, the author of Pilgrim's Progress.
On one occasion he wrote that he stopped playing cricket. Because he found he loved it too much. What have we allowed to get in the way of holy living, good or bad? Here is a rare woman then who is not dependent on a substance. to face the day.
She is dependent upon the Spirit. to face the day. You see, this rare Christian woman of Crete, there's a sacredness about her. There's a. sweetness about her, there is a sobriety about her.
Number four, there is a seriousness about her. Notice what Paul writes in verse 3: teaching what is good. This is why she's living this kind of life.
So that, there are four purpose clauses. This is one of them in this text.
So that. She can teach What is good? And what would that be? That young women love their husbands. and their children.
You see, this is the ripple effect. Of a godly woman's life. And this kind of teaching he's referencing here is both formal and informal. Both by word and by deed By example, Paul isn't really talking about teaching here as a matter of a position. Like a professor.
He isn't talking so much about a position as much as he is about a pattern. These older women have earned the right to speak. to mentor. to disciple. To pattern.
What it means to follow Jesus Christ in their particular world or their particular sphere of. of influence. For the last several years, my wife has developed and worked with the mentoring process of our seminary wives. Even less mentoring is available for them, these who will become pastors' wives and missionary wives. It's been a real delight to watch.
Our women's programs here at church have developed tremendous outlets for discipling and mentoring and evangelizing the women of our church. In fact, I got an email just a week or so ago from One of our women's ministries leaders. telling me of an event where they had it to not only teach, younger women But they invited unbelieving women to come, and at the end of the program, they. They delivered the gospel of Jesus Christ, and seven women accepted Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. The curriculum now for what happens next in their lives is rooted in Titus chapter 2, where women are going to be given seven disciplines of a godly young woman.
And that'll be our focus next time. But for now, Paul asks, and answers The question, where does a younger woman look? To find a model. They're not going to find it in Crete. Where are the people they can look up to and say, you are the kind of woman I want to become?
In our culture, ladies and gentlemen, the pedestals are virtually. Empty. Who out there is worthy of admiration? It's got to be in here. I find it interesting to see in this text a disconnect in Titus's pastoral ministry.
Did you notice it? He is to teach and preach, obviously, to all ages as I am doing today. But you'll notice In this chapter, with these categories of people, He is to directly teach older men Older women Young men and bondservants But not younger women. In fact, the word Paul uses here in verse 4 for Older women encouraging younger women, I think, is best translated training. It's a Greek word that translates in a different form to self-control.
In fact, it it could be woodenly translated to bring her back to her senses. Interesting. Older women are to bring younger women to their senses.
So this this requires up close Personal. Life on life training, and it would be very improper. to tell Titus a young pastor, to do that with younger women. They need up-close training. Why?
Because their culture in Crete has totally messed them up. They have been saved by the grace of God, and they have no idea what it means to live for somebody other than themselves. Because that culture and ours is teaching young people to love. Who? Yourself.
To believe in who? Yourself. And now they're married, and now they have children, and guess what? That doesn't work. According to a recent study, I found this interesting.
There's a computer program the guys developed to evaluate song lyrics over the past 30 years.
Some guys just have a lot of time to develop programs, but I'm glad they did this one because this is interesting. Count the percentage of words in songs which refer to first-person plural. Pronouns like we, us. And R Hour. Compare that to first person.
Singular pronouns like I, Me? And mine. They did this. They just kind of dumped music. over the last 30 years into this program, The Lyrics.
And they found and I know you won't be surprised. That over 30 years we and us and our have declined dramatically and I, me, and mine has increased. Dramatically. One reviewer summed up the study by writing this rather bluntly: we might as well face it, we are addicted to self-love. Love.
And the first thing. The first thing older women are to train younger women to do. who are married is to live a life that is not about self-love. It's about self-sacrificing. Love.
which ultimately brings fulfillment and joy. In a marriage in a home. It takes an older woman to have lived through that kind of realization as she's grown in Christ to be able to turn around and say, That doesn't work. It won't. This is hard.
But it pleases Christ and you'll find strength in him. You see, the fact that Paul tells older women they needed to teach younger women to love their husbands and children is because there comes a point in that younger woman's life where she realizes both of them are impossibilities. Ha ha ha. I remember my wife and I pushing that twin stroller. We decided to go to the mall.
It's a nice sanity break. No money, just go to the mall. And we were pushing that twin stroller. Back then, they didn't have a lot of equipment for twins.
Now they got all kinds of stuff. But side by side, just to get through doors was quite a challenge. And coming out the door was an older woman who said, stop to say, she said, I've raised twins who are now in their 20s. And she looked at my wife and she said, You'll make it. We just floated on just that one word of encouragement.
That was wonderful. See, these young women have been married also just long enough to learn the fact that. I mean, they've learned how stubborn and difficult and insensitive and hard-headed her husband can be. This is not a personal illustration, by the way, okay? She's come to the conclusion.
That she married the only man God made that way. It takes an older woman to come along and say, they're all that way. I didn't hear any men laughing at that point. It was all women. That's how men come out of the box.
God's got to do a lot of work on them as He purifies them and makes them energized for good works, and He's going to do a lot of work on you too. to do the same. Who's going to qualify? to be this kind of older woman. These are the four distinctives.
But you discover in this that these are also women who are submitting daily. to the purifying work of Jesus Christ. These are not perfect women. They are progressing women. that he is making Zealous.
for good deeds. I close with this testimony for nearly 20 years. Elisa Morgan served as the president of MOPS. It's mothers of preschoolers. International.
It's a wonderful mentoring program. We have it here at Colonial going full speed. Elisa writes, I'm probably the least likely person to head a mothering organization. that impacts thousands of mothers' lives for the gospel. Because I grew up in a broken home.
My parents were divorced when I was five. My older sister, younger brother, and I were raised by my alcoholic mother. The only mentoring she would receive was in the church. While my mother meant well, Most of my memories are of my mothering her rather than her mothering me. Alcohol had altered.
her love. I remember her weaving down the hall of our ranch home and Houston, Texas, a glass of scotch in hand. I would wake her up at 7 each morning to try to get her off to work. Sure, there were good times like Christmas and birthdays when she went all out and celebrated with us children, but even those days ended with the warped glow of alcohol. When I was asked to consider leading MOPS International, a vital ministry that nurtures.
Mothers, I went straight. to my knees. How could God use me? to nurture Other mothers. The answer came.
My grace is sufficient. for you. For my power is made perfect in Weakness. 2 Corinthians 12.9. God would take my deficits and make them my offering.
And I would find his grace to be sufficient. in my weakness. That's the kind of woman God can and will use in this ripple effect of. Godly living. She has about her a sense of seriousness.
A sense of sobriety. A sweetness An overall demeanor. of sacredness Her lips and her life are a testimony, not to herself, by the way. In fact, a godly older woman will never see anything in herself worthy of imitation.
So if you meet one of them, you'll know immediately she's qualified. She will ultimately testify to the sufficiency. of the grace Of God. And that's who you want to grow up. to be like.
