Coming to you from an entrenched barricade deep in the heart of central North Carolina, Masculine Journey After Hours, a time to go deeper and be more transparent on the topic covered on this week's broadcast.
So sit back and join us on this adventure. The Masculine Journey After Hours starts here. No. Welcome to Masculine Journey After Hours. We should call this the tired show.
I don't know why, but everybody in the studio, for the most part, it's hard to tell with Harold. He said so much tonight on whether he's tired or not tired. I've gotten like two words out of him. It's like the. Time change happened, but the time change hasn't happened.
Oh, sure. Only the weather change. Yeah, we did have a weather change and I had a flight back from Illinois the other night. I only got four hours of sleep. That was Sunday night, so Monday afternoon.
This is Tuesday, man. You're fine. Dude, dude. I don't recover like that. No, it takes like days to recover.
Once you get to be a certain age. I've got to watch up too early this morning. Yeah. Harold's still recovering from last time change as we hit her into the next time change pretty soon. No, I'm just kidding.
But no, we are talking about, we are finalizing the topic that we started last week, aren't we, Andy? We are. Oh well good, thank you for that.
Now Rodney, we're still continuing, aren't we? We are. We are. Okay, thank you. I think there was a question mark at the end of that.
There there was. There was.
So we were talking about last week, Danny. Do you remember what we were talking about last week? Were you here? Dismantling and disrupting. We were not allowed to talk about the other stuff.
The other stuff, which would be what? Healing and restoration? Yeah, healing and restoring. That's right. Yeah, you can put a question mark there if you want, but you were right.
It was healing and restoring. Look, if the guy sitting next to me in school would have applied himself, I'd have been somebody. Yeah. Rodney would have spoken up sooner. I would have known that answer.
So, yeah. Yeah. But what the concept is, and it's not a concept, it's a truth in your life, I promise you. If you look back, and Andy, what's the quote that Bart says quite often? I always get it reversed, but basically we have to live our life forward.
but we understand it backward. I think he actually says Life has to be interpreted Backward, but we can only live forward.
So maybe I said the same thing. I don't know. Maybe you're butchered it twice. The idea is we're walking this life out by faith. We don't understand everything.
That's what walking by faith is. But we can get a lot of, and to me, this brings a lot of Thanksgiving in my life. Because I began to realize that God had me there when I just thought I was just, I mean, you were walking by faith, but you didn't know what the outcome was going to be. But once you have the outcome and you understand why a series of events happened the way they did, then it gives you a better understanding of what was going on, including this whole process of healing that you're talking about. Absolutely.
You know, when you look back in your life and you can say, oh, I didn't really notice it, but I see God's hand in it, right? And that's something that we can only look back and see. We can't often see. But when you look back often enough, You know, just to say it a different way, when you look back often enough, you can say, Well, even though I can't see his hand in it right now, I got to believe that it is, because it always has been in the past. Right.
So why would God build a trust? You know, the you don't trust God. Hopefully, you trust God a lot more now than you did in the beginning, but it's because you begin to see that He is really working in your life and you can trust Him. Absolutely. Danny, you want to add to that?
Yeah, the you've been my experience with this kind of stuff is that I think I ended up with you guys in Masculine Journey to my first boot camp. I had some pieces to the puzzle. That God had given me along the way. He wasn't sure what they were and where they went. And with, you know, wild at heart and the principles and the stuff that we lay out.
You know, in the masculine journey stages, it has allowed me to put the pieces in place and begin to see a bigger picture. Like we talked, a larger story, and been able to look backwards, like Andy said, as he butchered that quote pretty badly. Yeah, he was like all the world twice. Yeah, yeah, but the to see to see the uh to see, okay, I understand now a little bit better. You know what has happened and why, and that kind of thing.
Don't understand everything, and I don't think I will this side of heaven. Nope.
Now and there's times You know, the things happen to our life. In our life, and this may push your theology, you know, because there's a belief out there that everything that happens is God's will. Yeah, no, that's not true. It's not God's will when people get kidnapped and taken into the sex trade operation, right? It's not God's will when kids are molested.
It's not God's will when lots of things happen. When women are abused or men are abused or whatever that is, that's not God's will in their life. It's hurt people hurting people. Right.
But what they often get confused is whatever you give God, God can work in it. You know, i anything can come to good through God. Right, the things that were horrible that happened to me In my life, if I give those to God, He can make great things come from that. Yes, that's absolutely 100% true, right? But it doesn't mean that God willed for that to be happen in my life or in other people's lives.
And when we live with the belief that God willed it to happen in our life, it kind of puts us at odds with God sometimes. Right of well, how can I trust him if that's what he wanted for me? If he wanted me to be beaten, or if he wanted me to be this or that, or fill in the blank, if that's truly what his highest aspiration for me was, how can I even consider myself a beloved child of his? Yeah, he didn't want you to go through the beating, but sometimes it takes that to get you to realize who he is. Right.
Yeah, but in the midst of it, when we give those things to him, he can make good things happen from anything. I heard on a podcast a while back, you know, the Lord's Prayer, what we know is the Lord's Prayer. It says, We pray on earth as it is in heaven. And we talk about heaven being the perfect place where there is no more pain, there is no more sorrow.
So. Why would he teach us to pray that way if everything in heaven is perfect?
So there's some imperfections here that we're trying to call heaven down. And that's why the million dollar question in our lives right now is, you know, Why have I got stage four cancer? Right.
But. The reality of it is that there's probably not an answer, and nobody probably knows. And it's not something I've done, not something God says, oh. You're getting this Merry Christmas. Not the case.
It's part of the fallen nature of man. When Adam fell, All this stuff was able to come into the world. And so now we're dealing with the fallout. And Thus, we need a Savior. And it's going to continue to get worse until when you hear about Revelation.
And what's going to happen then to people? It gets a lot worse than what we have now.
Well, Danny, even in your situation, right, I mean, you have a great perspective on that, that God didn't will this in my life, but you can still look back and see God's hand all through it with the way it was discovered when it shouldn't have been discovered, right? In a normal situation, you wouldn't have ever known until you had a really much bigger problem. I was able to. I actually messaged a doctor who Initially, you know, I just went with a little bit of uncomfort around my navel. And he ordered a CT scan.
And everybody medically I've talked to since then says that was not protocol. Not sure why he made that decision, but the surgeon that's about to operate on me next Tuesday said, go give him a high five. Because if he hadn't made that decision, even though the prognosis and the diagnosis, sounds horrible. He said this is actually Been called early. As I sent the doctor.
First time and only time I've ever seen the man. I said, you probably don't remember me. And I just sent him a note saying, thank you for making a decision out of protocol because you probably literally gave him a chance to save my life. And he actually messaged me back. He said, It's great to hear an impact where we made a difference.
He said, I don't get to hear that often. Yeah. That's awesome. That's awesome. Harold, you want to add something?
Yeah, I I think when we begin to feel disused and and so forth, Just go read the book of Job. Mm-hmm. If you think God's treating you wrong, Go read the book of Job. Yeah. You know, and so it's partly, that's part of where the enemy comes in and he tries to rob the relationship between us and God.
And maybe sometimes God has to get in and disrupt and dismantle those things. in our life the things that we've always been taught or the things we always believe to be true. Growing up, I always believed that God loved me. That was never an issue, but I just figured He had world famine and things that were more important than me, you know, that God couldn't multitask. Just because I believed it didn't make it true, and there has to be dismantling of that, or if I continue to live my life in that belief.
I'll never get to deep healing and deep restoration. Right? Because I put limits on God who's unlimited. You don't trust his heart, too. Right, and you distrust his heart and that, and you know, and then the enemy wins and all that.
And so, as we're talking about this disruption, dismantling, healing, and restoring, I just ask that you pray this week to God, open my eyes. to how you've done that with me in the past and how you're doing that now. Where in my life are you disrupting? You know, what am I seeing as something that's really making me mad? I shouldn't be going through this.
Why am I going through this? And is it something, God, that you're saying, hey, you need to get your attention here? I need to get your attention. Right? It's something like that.
And just continue to walk that through with him and let him unpack a lot of that for you. I think our nods nothing to do with IQ. Yeah. Yeah, we have to be able to open up enough and just ask. And not demand.
Right.
Because as soon as he's bought demanding, he's probably not going to show you anything. It's like, okay, your will is not mine yet. Let yourself come lower. and lower to the point where you're like, Okay, Idos don't care, but I really want to know. And then he'll start to give you some things.
Like we've talked before, there's several things that go through your life. You learn one, then two, then three, but four was the big one. He may work through some other things in your life so you see how this goes before he comes in with something bigger. That was really upsetting you. And actually brings you back to some healing.
Oh, absolutely. You know, we talked about in the last show, you know, the wound that I had of molestation when I was a kid, you'd think that would be my deepest wound ever. Yeah. And it wasn't. It's the one God had to get out of the way so He could work on my deeper wounds.
Yep. Right.
You know, I have to get this out of the way to put you in a position and put he and I in a position. in a different place where, okay, I see God in a different way. You know, I've broken through some of that dismantling of old beliefs and I see God for who a lot more of who He is versus who I thought He was. Right, and so I had to be in a different place for God to be able to do continued. Disruption, dismantling, healing, restoring.
There's a series of things that will happen in your life where you're move through them. And everybody's different. You don't know what's coming. It's just beautiful when it happens and you actually start to see him through it. Absolutely.
Now that you mentioned that, though, I was just thinking. Where you were stuck, and God had to go back. And usually, now that I'm looking at it, this isn't, you know, by God works with us individually. We have layers of wounds and different things that we're not. But a lot of times, I think you probably wanted to start something.
More in your adulthood or nearer to what's because that's the closest thing to you. But most of our innocence and our deepest woundings happen at a younger age. Oh, yeah. And when I wanted to start, because I was going through a broken relationship and I wanted to focus on that, I just wanted to get that healed back. He said, no, no, no.
We have to go back to the beginning. And Now that I look at it more so in in my wounding, it's it's you know, further back. And again, I don't want it God us heal us all differently. But I think there is something to the fact that we do need to be healed as a young, because that's where our initial we lost initial loss of innocence and usually a deeper wounding by a parent or family member. It could be anything.
Somebody you trust.
Somebody you trust, right. Right, yeah, and and indeed I think it is most of the time the story. God w you're right. God decides when he works on certain things and You know, he didn't Jesus never healed the blind the same way in Scripture, right?
So God heals us all differently. But I think there's commonality. You know, and a commonality is that none of us come through childhood unscathed. None of us come out without wounds. I don't care how good your parents were.
Right, you come out with wounds, whether it's from a coach, from a teacher, from something. Along the way, scouting everybody. Yes, yes, yes.
Some of these, right? And that's where your beliefs are formed, that's where your strongholds are made. Right.
You know, uh to your point, Andy, when I first was uh praying to God about some stuff, I really wanted him to work in my marriage. You know, I was married at the time and I wanted him to work in there. But he was working in there by fixing the stuff from my childhood that was impacting my marriage. You think about it, the wounds are building. The layers that we're talking about, well, they were pretty much laid down, I would imagine, sequentially.
So, again, he can insert, God can insert himself in the middle of that onion or whatever. But I do think that there is something too, and this is just coming up in this conversation. I hadn't really thought about it that much before, but starting in the beginning, I think, is key. And it may help people, and it may open them up because that is the ones I think we avoid or overlook.
Well, that's been with me all the time. Oh, that didn't happen. You could look at maybe the sin that comes out of a wounding that's closer to you and things that have happened to you as an adult, and you're like, okay, that's got to be it. Just something to consider whenever you're going through it. And I think a good key to that is, you know, we've talked about on the show before, we've talked about boot camps, that when we can look back and say, this feels like this.
Yeah. Right? You know, when this happens in my life today and I get so angry about it and I start to unpack it with God, and He will say, Well, what's that feel like? And you'll go back to a time in your childhood or a time in your early adulthood Where you said, okay, this feels exactly like that betrayal then, or this, you know, the way that I was accused incorrectly then. Right.
And so, and he's giving you an indicator of: yes, what you're feeling now is true and just, but we have to go unpack all the stuff back here. Right, to to really get to your key of healing. And and we've talked about we're pulling in new subjects that we'll talk about, but you're pulling in multiple agreements that get you to a vow because they're linked. And the enemy what's an enemy going to do? Is he going to hit you all over your plate all over your body whenever he's shooting at you, or is he going to try to go back to the same place and identify and weaken that wound that you already have?
You know, not to get, you know, too deep into that. We're still talking about restoring and restoration. We are. And so let's get to the good part.
So let's get back to your clip.
Now, last week you had a clip from the same movie. I wasn't here, but hearing all the good things that you had you had a clip from this movie, which is Trouble with the Curve. Right.
Do you want to talk a little bit about the last week's clip? Yeah, last week's clip, he, you know, Gus gets disrupted by Mickey, his daughter, big time in the fa in the face. She felt like he wasn't really listening to her, but more importantly, he had abandoned her at a young age, and he was just trying to protect her and get her away from a bad environment. But he really hurt her. And he has an epiphany at the end of the clip from last week of realizing what this must have done to her.
And then the movie shortly after that goes into some healing.
Now, He's a scout, a baseball scout. She was always with him. She went on to become a lawyer to You know, get his approval, and that's coming out to play in this clip because it she goes and she's got an eye for talent just like he did because she was around him in baseball so much. And she sees this kid at this hotel that they had in. They bring him in to this.
The team has drafted a number one pick, and everybody thinks he's great. In the movies, Trouble with the Curve, you'll pick up on that here. But you'll pick up also. You'll hear Clint Eastwood's voice here. He's Gus.
He begins to see how his daughter and how the influence he's had on her, and the love she has, and the appreciation and a knowledge she has for baseball. And just kind of, I'm going to go that far so that I don't talk about the whole thing. We'll talk about the rest of it when we come back. But that sets it up basically her impact on this young guy that's pitching. How her and her dad come back together and how the negotiations go with the baseball team, and I'll just talk more about that.
Yeah, just to add one little piece: the whole team is after this other number one pick because he's a great hitter. Right, yeah. Right, and so everybody's sold on him except for Gus and Mickey. Right, yeah. And Mickey's bringing in this no-name pitcher to pitch against him.
What going on? I heard of What? I hear a sound, I heard it. Gentlemen, this is Rigoberto Sanchez. Is this a joke?
Y'all gonna waste my time with him? That's it. I'm out of here. I've seen all I need to see. Just hold right there.
Alright, it's gonna be ugly. Start with the fastball. You alright? Yes, ma'am. Nervous?
No, ma'am. It's just a game. You're right, Radio. It's just a game. Looks like Sandy Colfax.
Yep. Combined with Steve Carlton and Randy Johnson, that's not even his best pitch. Show him a curve! He's got potential, but he's in our number one pick. Gentry knows it's coming, he still can't hit it.
Who is this guy? What are you saying?
Now that's known as trouble with the curve.
Well, there's no doubt that Rigo Sanchez should be offered contract. You think? And he's gonna need an agent. She's got one. Mickey.
She's a good lawyer, and I'm sure she can whip up some papers, make that young man some money. Or she could have your job. Because you still don't know anything about the game. And if I'd have been any help along the way, she'd be managing her own club now, because she knows more about baseball than anyone in this room. It's okay, Dad.
No, it's in my blood, and it's in your blood, too. I want you to be happy, that's all. What about you, Gus? Contract's going to be up. Are you interested in an extension?
I'll think about that. Anything you want, you name it. I said I'll think about it. I think maybe, maybe I can change the way I do things. You already have.
Oh, they are now. Tot's presentation didn't go so well, so they're trying to. push my partnership forward. What are you gonna do? I'll think about it.
No, I didn't. Think about it.
So you see, she's a chip off the old block, and she truly gets that from being around him, that love for baseball. I don't know, it's just You can see all the healing that takes place there in just a short time. Of course, it's. Hollywood, but it's the story. And that happens in people's lives where you get real with each other and humble.
She actually had came in and said some things that disrupted him and dismantled him, opened him up to where, hey, maybe I need to make a change. And then you begin to see he. Comes and rescues her in coming and saying, Hey, she probably knows more than all y'all. And I don't know, I just really thought it was a complete view of those two clips when you put them together of that whole process. Yeah, there has to be a disruption and dismantling, or you cannot get to healing and restoration, it just won't happen.
Right.
And the good thing about their relationship, as you've talked about, is they're just very authentic. You know, uh more so than most relationships. You see it in your own relationships. But Typically, what we have is a different view on that. Oh, no, this is bad, this is bad.
It's like, no, this has to happen. You have to be brought down, or he or she has to be brought down, in order for you to actually move forward. To have a better, stronger relationship with God, you have to have a stronger, better relationship with these people. And it you have to work with everybody that's around you. You know, it's just not the easiest thing to do, and we just have to trust the Lord a lot more than what we used to.
And going on forward, I mentioned a little bit last week about I had a good relationship with my daughter, but there was times in the college Time when she was living with me, where she was reaching out, and her mom was telling me about, you know, what she was struggling with, and I couldn't get it. And, you know, there's also part of it that factors into that is age and that kind of thing. But I was missing some things, and I needed. Felt like I was doing all the things I was supposed to do of just being a provider and giving her a place to live, even though I I mean, I enjoyed being with her and stuff like that. We had fun and stuff, but there was things that need to be disrupted.
And dismantled. And man, just the way where we're at today. You know, just. You know, we hadn't seen each other in a while, and she's busy teaching school and different stuff. And we're here.
I moved in the same town and stuff. We're still not each other. But I used to, I would just blow up and all just get aggravated, put, you know, passive, aggressive, well, great, or whatever. I've learned to just. be quiet.
And it got to a time where she knew that you know, that she had she was busy and all and she couldn't meet, but she you could tell that she wanted to see me as bad as I wanted to see her. And that's a healing place 'cause that's not the way it had been in the past whenever, you know, she couldn't be come see me or whatever. And I don't know. I just I we're at a good place, but it it had to go through that four step process. It always does.
I would love not to do the disruption and dismantling. I'd love to just go to healing and restoration. That's my favorite part of the equation. you know and uh You know, there have been times I've prayed, God, okay, right now I just can't do any more disruption and dismailing. Please, I just need a break.
And sometimes he'll give you a little bit of a break. But, you know, you've got to keep in mind his heart for you is better than your heart for you. Right.
And he's going to push you into things or let things happen in your life to where you have to deal with things, to where you can get to healing and restoration because a good parent does those things. If you think about it, if you had that wound and you needed that wound healed and you still had a splinter in there, if you didn't take the time to open it up. Disruption. dismantle it, pull it out, You could if you tried to fast-track it and do the healing and restoration. That sucker would still be in there.
The thorn would still be in there, and it's going to come to the top. It's going to surface. It's going to fester. It's going to keep them. Right.
So you have to go through it. The healing is those four steps.
So. An example of that is one of the larger wounds that I've discovered in my life that God showed me was I had deemed myself unlovable. I was the kid everybody picked on, you know, the skinny, curly-haired boy that. Yeah, wasn't sure how. that and even was convinced that God was picking on me.
And carried that throughout my life. I mean, up until like s few years ago. And It affected every relationship I had and, you know, in divorces and stuff like that, and, you know, the disruption of all that stuff. And just but I became a human chameleon. And I remember at a boot camp, you know, out you know, covered the silence.
And I'm thinking, you know, the molestation wound, you know, like you mentioned, you know, that's my big deal, guys. And he's going, no, not. Like, yeah, it is. And he said, you began long before then to sacrifice yourself on the altar of acceptance. I won't ever forget that because what he began to show me and dismantle all that was that.
You want to present yourself what you think they want to see. the poser. And you know, in many different ways and facets. And as he began to unpack that over course a couple of years, you know, one of the things that one of the awesome things out of this cancer diagnosis is there is no way Sanely I could ever look at anybody and say, you know what, I just don't feel loved. because the tsunami of outpouring has been Incredible.
I mean I mean I've gotten notes and calls and texts from people I hadn't heard from in thirty something years. They're going, hey, heard you're going through a tough time. And I think, you know, and then there's the the phrase that It's almost become comical. Hey, if you need anything, call me. I mean that.
And everybody means it. And I'm like, Okay, I'm gonna have to make a list. But it's incredible how God has brought all those things, the four-step process, if I broke it down. That that's the way life is now. You know, even my wife, I mean, I told her the other night, I said, to be, go, my life wa loves big and she loves hard and deep.
She don't know any other way. But to be the number one recipient of that is just totally incredible. That's awesome. Well, we've been talking about a lot, and so I would encourage you to spend some time with God. That's where your real answers are.
We're just giving you things to take to Him and just say. Say, God, where have you been disrupting? Where are you disrupting now? Where have you been dismantling? Where are you dismantling now?
Right? Were some times I've had healing. What some restoration I've had. And I can promise you it's the answer's not zero. God's been doing things in your life for a long time and you just haven't had the eyes to see it.
And let Him kind of peel that back with you and spend some time just celebrating with Him what He has done. And go to masculinejourney.org to register for the upcoming boot camp November 20th through 23rd. We'll talk with you next week.
