Classic Car Guy Comedy - POE POORIEE

Today on Classic Car Guy Comedy, we're going to try something a little bit longer using actually devotions that we have at the Somerset Assisted Living, where I get to tell lots of jokes.

Oh, here we go. Colorful diet. A man goes to the doctor complaining about stomach problems. The doctor asks, well what have you been eating? Oh, I only eat pool balls, he says.

Red ones for breakfast, yellow and orange ones for lunch, blue ones for afternoon snacks, and purple and black for dinner. Oh, I see the problem, says the doctor. You're not getting enough greens.

Here's some random Robbie thoughts. Did they allow a loud laugh in Hawaii or just aloha? Went to an antique show and people were bidding on me. You know, I ate a kid's meal at McDonald's today and man, his mom got really angry at me.

I'd grow my own food if only I could find bacon seeds. And I do like this one. Clapping is giving yourself a high five for someone else's hard work. Been reading up on a thesaurus lately because a mind is a terrible thing to garbage.

This one is called Or Fun. A tired homemaker answered the doorbell to find a young minister who said, I'm collecting donations for the new children's home we're building. I hope you'll give what you can. To be sure, said the beleaguered woman, I'll give you two boys, two girls, or one of each. This one is called Here Comes the Bride. A minister was planning a wedding at the close of the Sunday morning service. After the benediction, he'd planned to call the couple down for a brief ceremony in front of the congregation. For the life of him, he couldn't think of the names of those who were to be married. Will those wanting to get married please come to the front, he requested.

Immediately, nine single ladies, three widows, four widowers, and six single men stepped to the front. Here we have Napoleon's undoing. So a very thirsty man goes into a bar and he sits down and hears the man next to him tell the bartender, I'll have another Waterloo. The bartender gives the fellow a tall, well-ice drink, then asks the newcomer what he'd like to drink. Thinking the other man's drink may be a specialty of the house, he says, I'll have a Waterloo too. The bartender gives him the tall, well-ice drink, and the customer takes a big drink. Hey, he says, isn't any good.

It tastes just like water. The man next to him looks at the bartender and says, well, it is water, right, Lou? I do find that humorous. And here's a few words that will be joining our vocabulary in 2021. First one is chair drobe. That's piling clothes on a chair in the place of a closet or a dresser.

That's chair drobe. I like this one. Textpectation. The anticipation felt when waiting for a response to a text. That's textpectation. Unkeybordinated. And when you're unable to type without repeatedly making mistakes. We can't all live on a street with a pleasant name like Oak or Elm.

Well, here's the least popular street names in case you ever wondered. There's the famous drink and drive. Of course, it's drink and, and then DR period. Okay. Vicious circle. Psychopath. Couple's court. And of course, no frigging way.

Maths. So with the arc settled safely after the flood, no opens the doors and commands the animals go forth and multiply all the animals depart from the arc except two snakes in the back. No proclaims go forth and multiply at the snakes. Stay put perturbed. Noah finally asked them, why have you not followed my command? The snakes flicker their tongues and answer. We can't multiply Noah. We're hatters. I hope you've enjoyed this little bit longer edition of classic Car Guy comedy.