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Ugandan Street Kid to American Foster Dad

Our American Stories / Lee Habeeb
The Truth Network Radio
February 3, 2023 3:04 am

Ugandan Street Kid to American Foster Dad

Our American Stories / Lee Habeeb

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February 3, 2023 3:04 am

On this episode of Our American Stories, Peter Mutabazi was born on the border of Uganda and Rwanda. He escaped an abusive father by running away to the capital of Uganda, Kampala, where he lived on the streets for 4 years and never slept more than 2 hours... until one day he met a stranger that would change his life forever. For more of Peter's story visit.

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Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. And we continue with Our American Stories. Up next, we bring you a story that begins across the ocean in Africa, but winds up being a true story of faith, generosity, and citizenship based here in the United States. Here to share his story is Peter Mutabazi.

I'm from a small village at the border of Uganda and Rwanda. My name is Peter Mutabazi Habyarimana. Mutabazi is my dad's name and Habyarimana is the name that I was given at the age of two. You know, for most moms, you know, we name our kids before they're born. As soon as we know we're pregnant or expecting, you know, we look for names. But in my time, in my village, moms were not able to do so.

In my village, most kids would die before the age of two. So most moms did name their kids, not because they didn't love them, but they weren't sure they would make it. And so they didn't give us a name until we were a little bit older. So at two, I was given a name, Habyarimana, which means a gift given to me by God.

That's what my mom named me. I come from a village, you know, where life was miserable in every shape, form you could imagine. Grew up in a home where no one ever told me to be hopeful or grew up in a home where really tomorrow wasn't guaranteed.

You know, and here are the reasons why. Think about as a mom, if you cannot feed your child for a day, how do you tell them they have a future? And that was me. You know, at the age of four, I knew I can go fetch water, you know, three to four miles away just for us to have drinking water. And so as a kid, that's all I did. Think about that. You have to walk four miles one way and four miles back. Do you ever have time to go to school?

Absolutely no. That my family needed more, you know, they needed water that they needed me to go to school. But also they could not afford me to go to school. Also, you know, I grew up from a family that are farmers. In other words, you know, we call ourselves subsistence farmers, which means we only grow what we consume. You know, we didn't have enough meals. I can remember we had a meal every other day. And me, you know, to us, a meal was beans and potatoes.

And if we are lucky, we could have both, but most of them would have one of them so we can spare one for the next day. So that's all I knew as a kid, you know, of misery and hardship. But it wasn't just me. It was every child in that village that worked hard.

We all went to fetch water miles and miles away. So I took it as a norm that this is a normal life in some way. But then at the age of five, four, I began to realize that we were different, that my dad was different from any other dad I knew. But my dad was just so mean, abusive to me, and abusive to my mom and to my siblings as well. I never had kind words from my dad like any other kid. You know, we work so hard to please our dads.

You go fetch water for days and hours and go look for firewood. And you would hope your dad would say, son, that was a great job you did. To me, no. You know, I think all I had from my dad, I was garbage. I would never amount to anything.

I am useless. You know, the dogs in my neighborhood were worthy or worth more than I was. And those are the things I had from my dad every day. And if it wasn't my, you know, coming towards me, it was going through my mom. And as a, you know, five-year-old, I could not protect my mom. Misery is all I knew.

And I never wanted to see tomorrow because today was hard enough that I really didn't want to repeat it the next day. And that was my life, you know, from the age of zero to 10, 11 as a kid in my village. You know, so at the age of 10, I think I was, life had become so miserable.

And I think as you grow older, you understand abuse harsher and harder in some way. You know, those words that I had every day that I would never amount to anything. You know, now they were striking me, you know, deep down the core of myself, you know. But also I think I hated my dad so much that I thought, look, to give him a reason to kill me, that is a gift, you know. And I think at the age of 10, I said, look, I would rather go die in the hands of someone else than my dad. So, you know, I didn't know where I was going, but also I wasn't looking for a future, but I think I was looking in some way to die in the hands of a stranger than my own dad.

So I had never been 20 miles away from my village. You know, I ran away to the bus station at three in the morning and I asked the lady, hey, of all these buses here, which goes the farthest? And the reason why I was asking was I needed to go as far as I could, that I knew if he met me, if he found me, that he would take my life. So running as far as I could was all that I needed. So the lady told me that one, you know, I got on that bus.

I can tell you it could not, it wasn't traveling enough, you know, and had never been in a car in some way. So I was scared to death. I was little, but at the same time, there was a joy to look back and see that I was leaving my village, that I was leaving that man who had, you know, caused harm. And somewhere that I detested and hated so much, I didn't know where I was going, but it was a glimpse of, I don't have to hear him anymore. I don't have to take his physical abuse anymore.

I don't have to listen to my mom crying from his abuse. Like I can not hear this anymore. So there was a joy, you know, in some way of leaving. I didn't know really where I was going. And finally I made it to Kampala. You know, the journey took up, you know, took about 14, 16 hours. And it ended up in Kampala, the capital city of Uganda, which is about 500 kilometers away from my village. And I knew I was fine enough, but also I knew, hey, I'm in a new city.

I have no idea. I don't speak the language. I've never been here, but I got one thing to make, to make it through the day. You're coming from home. It was survival day by day on the streets. It was survival hour by hour.

I remember, I don't think I ever slept at one point for more than two hours. Just to make it, you know, I think I slept less than two hours for four and a half years I was on the streets because it wasn't safe. I got to meet other street kids and I knew, you know, that I had found family and I became my family. So I, you know, right away I became a street kid and I learned how to survive. And yes, the abuse on the streets was harsher and we had to survive hour by hour. But there were strangers, you know, they called me garbage. They called me, you know, names that you call any useless animal.

But at the same time, I was hearing them from strangers that didn't matter to me or that I didn't care about. And I learned to survive and as street kids, we had learned how to work hard, you know. Working hard was to help people so we can earn the right to be on the streets.

You know, the work ethic is one thing I knew how to do, you know. But also, to be honest, it was easier to steal while you're helping. You know, if people need cheap labor, they weren't paying you. So all you could do is help. But in the process of helping, you would steal what you need. So the end of the day would have enough to eat and that's how we survived. You know, back in Uganda, we didn't beg for money.

You know, most people don't make a dollar a day. You don't beg for money, but you work so you can earn the right, but also work so hard so you felt you're useful to the strangers who needed your help in some way. But also for us as street kids, it provided a venue and a place to find food and to feel safe, you know. For us, commotion and where there were people, we felt we can be safe within that environment. And so marketplaces became our home. We lived in the streets where they threw all the garbage. So that meant there were stray animals, there were dogs, you know, there were vultures that were all looking for food, just like us, you know. And people were mean sometimes, so we would do some work and they would refuse to give us food or they would rather throw it away to the garbage. And that's where we had to go get it. In order for them to get rid of us from where they were, they would throw away the food in the garbage for us to go find it so we can go. But that meant to struggle to eat with the dogs, that meant to fight it with the vultures. You know, and I don't know how I survived, you know, eating, you know, the most horrible food, but somehow make it through the day. You know, that's truly the grace of God, to be honest. But it was a way to survive.

It was a way to make it through the day. And that became my new life. And you're listening to Peter Mutabatsi tell the story of his howling childhood. Howling childhood in the worst possible circumstances a person could grow up. His mother and mothers in his village wouldn't even name kids until they had reached a certain decent age because most died before they were two. Unimaginable. An abusive father on top of it. And he escapes to the streets of Kampala, where he finds community with fellow refugees from the villages to the streets and community and family with those kids.

When we come back, more of Peter Mutabatsi's story here on Our American Story. Five dollars and get $200 in free bets instantly. Only a Draftkings Sportsbook. An official sports betting partner of the NBA.

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Let's ride. And we're back with Our American Stories and the story of Peter Mutabasi. His book, Now I Am Known, is available on Amazon at local bookstores, wherever you get your books. Peter was born in Uganda in poverty and ran away to Kampala, Uganda's capital, to escape an abusive father where he lived on the streets.

Back to Peter. You know, this is strange, but if someone was kind to us, we were not, we didn't go towards that, because we knew anyone who was kind, especially for me, anyone who was kind would also come with abuse. So we weren't trusting. We didn't trust people.

So one day, I am sitting with my friends. You know, we see someone wearing glasses, and smart, and clean, and speaking English. So we always knew that was a target. So for me, I saw him.

I was like, I got my target. He's going to buy food. I'm going to help him. And then I'm going to steal some, and I'm going to go.

You know? So I followed him. He bought food. And as soon as he bought what he was buying, I think it was bananas and sweet potatoes. And so I went to him. I said, I'm going to carry these things to your car. But before I could do that, he said, hey, what's your name? And that rattled me. I had lived on the streets for four and a half years. No one at any point during that time ever asked me what my name was.

No one. And so I stopped, and I told him my name is Peter. And of course, I tried to help him. And before I could take it, he had something to eat, and he gave me something to eat. And I was surprised. And so he left.

I didn't buy into it. Most people were kind. As I said, they were mean at the same time. So I was waiting for him to be mean, but he left. Well, the next week, I saw him again. So the second time I saw him, he gave me something to eat. And he called me by name, which was really kind of cool. So he left.

The third time, I was like, wait a minute. I know what day he comes. I know what car he drives.

I know what he buys, and I know where he goes. So I was assured every Monday that he was coming to the city. So that's how I got to know him. Though he was kind, though he helped me, I kept a distance. Remember, anyone who was kind always came with abuse. So for me, I was waiting for abuse. I didn't trust him, though he was kind. I didn't trust him because I was waiting for the bad part to come.

I was waiting for the abuse to come, but it never came. So for one year and a half, he gave me something to eat. And sometimes, it would bring more for other kids. And so one day, he said, hey, Peter, if you had an opportunity to go to school, who would you go to school? And I was like, wait, me, a garbage boy, a useless boy, a kid who would never amount to anything, me go to school? And I did not believe him. But man, every time he came and said, hey, I would like to take you to school if you like to.

And man, finally, I said, absolutely. And the reason why I said yes, it wasn't because I wanted to be somebody. My family, we didn't have so many educated people that I wanted to be like, no. For me, for the first time in my entire life, someone saw me as a human being. Well, he gave me clothes to wear, and he told me I was going to a boarding school. But before he could take me, he said, hey, there are two things that are going to happen. One, you're going to be part of the local church. Then the other one is there will be meals for you. There will be lunch, breakfast, and dinner. I think I didn't hear anything else, but I had the meal.

That's all I heard. So as we went, I really looked at him, and I said, of all kids, why me? Why are you doing this for me? And he looked at me, I said, boy, I just want to be faithful.

That's all, I really want to be faithful. But I did not understand what he meant, you know? So finally we make it to school, and it was lunchtime. They gave me something to eat, and he said there will be dinner. So for me, I waited for the next meal. I really didn't think about school.

I didn't think about anything. And I slept there for one night. And then, because before I left, I told the other street kids like, hey, if you don't see me in the next 24 hours, when you see this man, harm him, please harm him. That means either he killed me or something happened.

So payback time. So I slept, and the following night, I had to come back to the city because I wanted to tell them that I was okay, because I knew they would harm him if I didn't come back. So I came back and said, hey, I'm okay.

He put me in school, and I really like it. There's food, so I'm going back for food. So I went back, and in the process of waiting for a meal, I think I realized that in order to do this, I needed to go to class, you know? So then I started going to class, and then I realized that I was smart. Not only was I just good at finding food, but I knew also that I was smart in school as well.

And after a while, I was there for six months. He said, you know, you can be part of our family. And that really began to change my life, because the teachers, the social workers that were coming alongside began to see the best in me. They saw potential that I didn't see in myself. I think for me, that truly began to change my world on how I looked at things, you know? And then the one thing he did, once he brought me to his family, they would use words of affirmation that I had never had before. They would say things like, Peter, you matter.

I'm like, well, what, me, I matter? You know, this one day, he was going to the city, and he was taking me with me. I always knew sitting in front was for the important people, you know? That I wasn't worthy of sitting in front with him. I always sat in the back, but this time he said, Peter, can you sit in front? And I said, no, I don't deserve to sit in front. I need to sit in the back. And he looked at me and said, Peter, no, you belong to this family.

You sit in front. Man, I can remember those words to this day. Kind of removed the scales of shame, the scales of what I'd been told all my life, that I was nobody, that I would never amount to anything, because they saw more in me than I saw in myself. Finally, I finished high school, and then I went to university in Uganda, and then I got a scholarship to go study in England. You know, so after England, then I went back to Uganda, and I was working for the International Committee of Red Cross. And my job was to work as a radio operator to make sure that food on planes and trucks was moving from Kenya to Sudan. And so one day I wanted to visit the refugee camp, so I went there. And while I was there, I saw this 18-year-old boy, shotless, white, he was the only white kid ever.

So I was like, man, what are you doing here? He said, my name is Luke, and I'm here to help the refugees. And I got to know him, and I said, hey, you know, I dated an American, so if you come to Kampala, please come and have clean water, and we'll make sure you're okay. And so he came and stayed with us for about two months. And then he went back to the United States. And when he got back in the U.S., he said, you know, he said, Peter, there's a school I go to. I think I would like to really help you get a scholarship to come and study here. And I was like, man, I'm not sure I can afford it.

He's like, no, leave it to me. I'll do the best I can. And here I was, you know, from one stranger ends, like, you got more potential in life. And so he got me a scholarship to come and study here in the United States.

And so I went to school for four years, and then I was hired at the end, you know, to be an advocate for children with Compassion International. So I get to travel with key note speakers, and, you know, reverends, and old people to show them the work of compassion all over the world. And so not only did I travel, you know, to my 20 countries I had traveled in, but now I had an opportunity to travel to 101 countries, which was absolutely mind-blowing, you know, from a strict kid in Kampala who didn't think about tomorrow.

There I was jumping from one country to the other, which was really fascinating. But all I wanted was to truly be a voice for the unseen, the unharmed, the ones that we don't know, that I wanted them to know their story through telling my own story, that people would help them. And so that became my job for 10 years. And what a story you've been listening to from Peter Mutabasi. He lived on the streets for four and a half years when a man asked him what his name was. And it was the first time it had happened to him. And of course, that act of kindness, he assumed, would always be followed by an act of abuse. In fact, that kept on persisting until it didn't. And when this man offered up the kindness of free school, Peter asked, why me? And he answered, boy, I want to be faithful.

When we come back, more of this remarkable story of faith, of love, of a stranger, here on Our American Stories. NBA fans, it's time to bring the hoops action to the palm of the NBA. Only at DraftKings Sportsbook. An official sports betting partner of the NBA.

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In New York, call 877-8HOPE-NY or text HOPENY467369. This February Xfinity Flex is unlocking premium entertainment for you to try every single week. No strings attached. Celebrate during Black History Month with shows like Unsung the Decades. Snuggle up during Valentine's Day with a Lifetime Movie Club pick like Harry and Meghan A Royal Romance. Or crank up the action with Godfather of Harlem from MGM Plus. Get down and funky with the Classic Soul Playlist from iHeartRadio. Easily discover new free content each week across the best streaming app. Say free this week into your Xfinity voice remote. I'm always upgrading my car.

Not because I need to, because I want to. Today it's custom rims for my ride. Tomorrow it might be a new driver's side seat cushion. And eBayMotors.com always has what I need. They've got over 122 million car parts all at the right price.

It's perfect for me. Because I'm a car guy. Are you still in the garage?

It's two in the morning. Almost done. Okay. I'm a car fanatic. eBay Motors.

Let's ride. And we're back with our American stories and the final portion of Peter Mudibazzi's story. After being adopted himself, Peter eventually ended up working for the international humanitarian organization Compassion International and advocated for children living in the very same poverty he experienced growing up. His work took him around the world, but his home base was the United States.

Let's return to Peter. Well, so when I came to the United States, I think I struggled. I would visit people, and then most families where I come from, our homes are as big as the American garage, and there's seven to 12 people that live in that garage. So when I walk into these homes, they were huge, but they were empty. There were only two people living, and I'm like, but why? There must be kids in the neighborhood that are truly looking for a place to be. So I think from that conviction, I wanted to somehow leave what someone did for me, that he saw the need of kids on the streets of Kampala, but he didn't walk away, but he wanted to do something, and he happened to help one, and that one happened to be me, that I wanted to do the same.

Look 1248, too much is given, much is required. I felt I had been given so much that I wanted to give back as well. So I think it was a promise in my head, like, God, if you ever give me an extra bedroom, I'm going to help a child.

So that's when he came. So I bought a house, quit my job where I was working with Compassion International, and then I moved to Oklahoma, because it was cheaper to live in Oklahoma, but also a good place to learn to be a foster parent. And so I walked in the foster care system and said, hey, I would like to mentor children. Is there any way you could help me, or any way I could be of help? And the reason why I thought of mentoring was I had traveled with people adapting in India, in Ethiopia, in China, and in Uganda, I had never seen a black person like me doing so.

I had never seen a male doing so. So in my head, I think I believed a lie. I thought, I don't qualify because I'm single, and I don't qualify because I'm black. So when I walked in, it was more like, okay, here's the list you can let me be, be a mentor. And the social worker looked at me and said, have you ever thought of being a foster dad? I was like, wait a minute, I don't qualify.

I'm single. And I was like, so? Man, I was like, you mean I can foster? That day, I mean, literally that day I signed up to be a foster dad, because now I had been helping kids in other countries.

I would go see and help, but come back. But this time I wanted it to be part of my everyday life. And so four months later, you know, I had my first placement, you know, I had my first child and that began the whole journey. And I knew how it felt to be neglected. I knew how it felt to have your own parents be your worst enemies.

I knew what it meant to be called garbage every day. And also, I knew what it meant to live in a place where you did not feel it was your home. I lived that every day that I thought I can impact at least one child. And so it's been a great journey that I've had 22 kids now. And right now I have six in my home and it's been hard, but it's been a joy for sure. You know, I've adopted one, my son Anthony, and I'm in the process of adopting my three other ones, you know, and I counted a blessing for sure, you know, that a one-street kid in Uganda that had no food, I had no hope that I can give hope. So I had fostered about 10, 11 kids and, you know, they had all gone back to their family. So I think I was, you know, I was, I was demoralized, kind of, you see kids come and we want them to go to their parents.

Absolutely. But when you do it over and over, it kind of leaves you empty and not angry, but just in pieces. So my number 10 and 11 had gone home on a Monday and I told my social worker, I said, look, I really, I really need a break. I need a three month break.

Like I cannot do this. And she said, okay, this is Monday. On Friday, I get a phone call.

Hey, sir. I was like, sister, it's not three months yet. And she's like, hey, there's a kid at the hospital that really needs help.

Could you keep him just for the weekend? And I said, absolutely I would do so, but please do not tell me why in the foster care because I didn't want to be attached. So finally he came at three in the morning, you know, the social worker had to leave really quickly. I mean, he was in my house 20 minutes and I told him, hey, my name is Peter Mutabazi, but you can call me Peter because my African name is, it's kind of hard. And he looked in my eyes and he says, yay, but can I call you my dad? I'm like, hell no, no, you can't call me that.

You know? But in my head, I think I was more like every kid I've hired had called me dad and they have all gone. So you cannot be in my house for 20 minutes and call me dad.

And also I know you're living on Monday, so I don't want to be associated. I don't want to be called dad right now, you know? And then he looked back at me and said, you know, I was told since now I'm 11, I can choose who my father should be and I choose you, man. I was like, this kid doesn't listen, does he?

So I said, no. So finally they came to pick him up on Monday. So this time after I signed the paperwork, I asked the social worker, I said, okay, so can you tell me the story? You know, why is he in the foster care?

Because I knew I have no responsibilities right now since he's up to go. And then the social worker said, hey, you know, he was in the foster care when he was one and a half and then he was placed with a family and this family adopted him at four. And then this same family that adopted him at four, they just dropped him at the hospital. They never said goodbye.

They never gave him a reason why they didn't want it anymore. They never said one thing, they just left and went to the county and signed off their parental rights. I mean, you should have seen me just crying because I think it took me to when I was 11, you know, 10, running away as a kid from my own family to see this kid that he'd been giving hope for nine years. And for some reason they just dropped him at the hospital and they did not want him anymore. And I think I felt I was doing the same. Like I've always wanted to be a dad. And he's a kid who just somehow knew I'll be his dad. And he called me by his name, dad, like, I just can't let him go. And so I told the social worker, I said, hey, you give me his paperwork. I think he already knew I'll be his dad.

So you know, let me, let me, let me take him. And so from there I knew he would be my son. And two years later he got to be adopted and we shared the same last name.

And it's cool. You know, most people ask me, man, he's lucky to have you. I'm like, no, I'm the lucky one. He chose me to be his dad and forever I'll be grateful for sure. You know, just like that from a weekend respite to a family forever. So recently I became an American citizen. So think about it took me 17 years to be an American citizen. You know, uh, 2019 I finally became a U.S. citizen. It was, it was really awesome, you know, that I could finally cross that line.

I never thought I could, you know, and it's truly been a joy. You know, I think even being a force parent has really helped me in some way to feel like this is my country. These are my people. This is my community that I feel indebted to this country to do the best I can to help others as well, but also to come alongside those that need us the most and contribute to the society. Like I feel they have given me a place to breathe, a place to be free, a place to do things that I will never do, but also a place that I need to be responsible for that as well to give back, to be responsible citizen and contribute to what I can. And for me, fostering and advocating for kids, you know, in Charlotte, North Carolina and anywhere in the United States is my next goal. Like my dream is truly to advocate for kids. You know, my dream, I would like to have a bigger house so I can have 20 more teenagers that I will provide a home for them. You know, my dream is so I can have a place where they can feel they are safe and loved. You know, I live in Mackinac County, there's 800 kids in the foster care system. There's only 60 families that are foster parents. Think about 800 kids, 60 foster parents. That's crazy, you know, that I feel it's my community to truly say I will step in and do what I can to help.

You know, for those 800 that are looking for a place to be, I cannot take them all. But if I can help one, I've done my part. Or if I can encourage someone else to think through and help one of them, then I've done my part. Or if I can help someone and inspire them to help another family so they're able to do that or come alongside, then I've done my part that we can all take part, you know, or even advocating for them through our legislature and say we want to help the kids so they can have a better future. This is our community.

To do what we can to do, we ought to help those in need. And a terrific job on the production, editing, and storytelling by Robbie Davis. And a special thanks to Peter Mutabatsy. And his remarkable book, Now I Am Known, is available at local bookstores or Amazon.

Or wherever you get your books. And what a story to tell about love, about love of a stranger. And what a heart this man has. And on his heart was working to take care of and advocate for kids. So many kids without fathers.

So many kids without love. Here's an answer if our show does one thing to inspire you to imitate a guy like Peter, just one of you listening. This show is worth all the years we've been on air.

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Whisper: medium.en / 2023-02-03 04:39:27 / 2023-02-03 04:56:15 / 17

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