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So Spencer, why do you care? I care because my daughter, Adeline, has special needs. I am motivated by Adeline, who inspires me every day. I am driven to help families like mine navigate the healthcare system. I'm so blessed to lead an amazing team at United Healthcare focusing on the member experience and making that better.
I'm Spencer and I'm committed to care. This is Lee Habib, and this is Our American Stories, the show where America is the star and the American people. Coming to you from the city where the West begins, Fort Worth, Texas. Nala Rae made her fortune posting explicit content of herself on OnlyFans. In fact, she was one of the first to ever do so.
In the early years of the website when she made her account, no one quite knew what the fledgling subscription-based platform would become. Maybe it would be full of cooking classes or fitness tutorials. But because of Nalaray, it became a de facto porn site where anyone could upload content to themselves in exchange for cash. from paying customers. According to world statistics, 1.4 million girls are now only fans creators.
Let's take a listen to the young lady who's been dubbed the prodigal daughter. Here's Nalaray. Hi, my name is Nala Rae. I was born in Decatur, Illinois. I was born into a family of five children, so I was the middle of five children.
And so I was homeschooled from first through fourth grade. And then my parents decided to put us in a Christian school. But when I was about nine years old, my dad cheated on my mom, and he left our family for two years. I didn't see him at all. I had no idea what was going on.
Two years passed, and my parents decided to try to mend things up after the divorce, and ended up remarrying about two and a half years later. And during that time, I was going to a very tiny Christian school from fourth through eighth grade. Where I experienced at the age of 13 being molested by a 16-year-old boy. My family always felt kind of scattered even though we were together always different opinions different ways of wanting to live. And there was no real community, no real communication either between our family.
It's like we couldn't talk about the hard things. Even as a young woman, when my cycle started, my mom didn't want to talk about it. Had to learn a lot of things by myself as a young woman. And after I was 13, my parents decided to pull me and all the other kids out of Christian school. And that was a very difficult time because that was about the only social life I had.
And that's when my parents decided to start going to church. And then it kind of took a turn where my dad decided that out of nowhere that he wanted to be a pastor. And that truly came out of nowhere because none of us felt like my dad had that kind of calling on his life. And we did not have the calling of being a pastor's family. Roughly, he went through about three church splits before he decided that he was probably not.
a pastor and he probably shouldn't be one but years had went by at that point where i was about 16 uh when he stopped being a pastor we all moved to florida and that was really hard going through all of that being a teenager feeling so many different things not ex the parents not explaining anything So shortly after I started working a job when I was 15, just to get out of the house because we started homeschooling again. And so my life consisted of going to church and being homeschooled. And I didn't have any kind of a social life, which just felt like a cage. And so, if we fast forward a little bit, I really got into some promiscuity when I was 16 and 17. I started sneaking out of my parents' home, like out of my bedroom window, to go meet men, like way older than I was.
So, just because I wanted to find some form of freedom and love that I wasn't getting from my home. And so I arrived home at like 3 a.m. one time with two cop cars outside my home where the police officers were like shining lights in my face, asking me tons of questions, just trying to scare me. And my mom and dad were just basically saying that they would let me spend a night in jail if it really, like, if it would shake me enough to stop doing what I was doing, but I didn't care. I wanted out of my family so bad.
I was so distraught. I was so lonely in a family of seven. I mean, it's not even the people that make you feel lonely. It's like your circumstances that really push you into isolation. And that's a dangerous place for a teenager to be at where they don't feel as though they can be open with their own parents about things they want, things they dream about.
And so shortly after I got a job at a fast food joint and I bought my first car and it was a very, very old car and it felt like for the first time I had some more freedom. But then very shortly after, I continued sneaking out of my home and doing promiscuous acts. And my parents took everything away from me. They took my job, they took my car.
So if we fast forward to me being 18 years old, I promised myself I'd move out and I did. The first chance I got, I took on two jobs. Working for a gym and working as a waitress. I was working so many hours just to live on my own.
So I told my parents that I wanted to be a personal trainer because I was really fell into fitness at the time. I felt so, I just loved it so much. I threw myself into the gym at 18 years old. I hired a personal trainer. I worked out every single day but Sundays and I took fight choreography classes.
I did martial arts. I did boxing. I did gymnastics. Every bit of that like inflicted pain on my body. And it was the best feeling to feel that.
Like something, like this, I had a lot of anger too. And so anger was probably the only main emotion I could feel consistently was just like this rage that I could pour into working out until I was so tired that I could, I was just like. I just wanna go to bed now. Like, I'm so drained. And it was like, it felt so good to feel that.
But yeah, if we fast forward to about 20 years of age I had really started kind of popping off on social media with my fitness. Videos, my fitness pictures, which was really just kind of sexualized forms of photos and videos of me being in the gym.
So I got recognized by someone who worked in OnlyFans as a recruiter. OnlyFans was originally designed to be a PG platform. They never intended it to sell porn or any sexualized photos or anything like that. They wanted it to be a platform where people can share like things that they're good at, like cooking or fitness or race car stuff, or that's what they intended OnlyFans to be. And I was one of the first creators to help them in the process of turning it into a basically a porn website because when it had come out, it was out about two years before I joined.
And it was like there was hardly anybody on it. There was no promiscuity really at all on there. And the guy who originally recruited me was right. Like you could make money off of just selling like fitness videos and stuff, but I was the one who decided to make it something that it never should have been. When we come back, more of the story of Nalarae.
Here on Our American Stories. Lee Habib here, and I'd like to encourage you to subscribe to Our American Stories on Apple Podcasts, the iHeartRadio app, Spotify, or wherever you get our podcasts. Any story you missed or want to hear again can be found there daily. Again, Please subscribe to the Our American Stories podcast on Apple Podcasts, the iHeartRadio app, or anywhere you get your podcasts. It helps us keep these great American stories coming.
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Then you can invest in a few clicks. Generated assets are like ETFs with infinite possibilities, completely customizable and based on your thesis, not someone else's. Go to public.com/slash podcast and earn an uncapped 1% bonus when you transfer your portfolio. That's public.com/slash podcast. Paid for by Public Investing.
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Complete disclosures available at Public dot com slash disclosures. Sink into affordable luxury. Anabay is the only machine-washable sofa inside and out. With stain-resistant slip covers and a cloud-like frame duvet, everything goes right in the wash. Plus, the modular design lets you change the look of your space anytime.
Visit washable sofas.com to upgrade your home. Shop up to 60% off site-wide with sofas starting at just $699 and a 30-day money-back guarantee. Shop now at washable sofas.com. Offers are subject to change and certain restrictions may apply. If you're looking for more flexibility in how you pay for everyday purchases, meet Klarna.
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NMLS number 1353190. Klarna balance account required to be eligible for cashback points. Limitations, terms, and conditions apply. apply. I'm Spencer and I work at United Healthcare.
So Spencer, why do you care? I care because my daughter, Adeline, has special needs. I am motivated by Adeline, who inspires me every day. I am driven to help families like mine navigate the healthcare system. I'm so blessed to lead an amazing team at United Healthcare focusing on the member experience and making that better.
I'm Spencer and I'm committed to care. And we continue with our American stories and the story of Nala Ray. Let's pick up where we last left off. Let's return to Nala.
So that is what OnlyFans is. And they reached out to me and told me that I would make a lot of money being on OnlyFans just selling fitness stuff or maybe bikini photos. And I was super intrigued at the time because I was working a very dead-end job at an orthopedic company who did not care about me at all. I had worked for them for about two and a half years. I never made it up the ladder.
Didn't matter how much overtime I put in, how many holidays I worked, they didn't care at all.
So I was pretty done with corporate America trying to rule my life and never getting paid more for it. And so that was a pretty easy switchover for me knowing that I could just stay online and stay at home and, you know, make money off of it. My first rough month on OnlyFans, I netted about $87,000 and that changed my life. I saw green and I ran after it and I quit my job immediately. And it was just crazy to me that I had made two years salary in a month and I got so good at it.
It was something that I felt like I could pour my heart into because, you know, I grew up wanting love so bad and I started getting so much attention from the internet, from OnlyFans, from men on OnlyFans. And not all of it was good attention.
Some of it was very negative, extremely perverted. But I got it. I got something that I finally wanted even though it came at a major cost. And I didn't care what it cost. I was that desperate for love.
And I'm not saying that love isn't a need, it absolutely is, but I was so willing to sell my own body to get that. And I needed love more than I needed food, I felt. I felt like it was my lifeline and that's all I had to work for was getting love and attention from random strangers. And it's crazy how random strangers made me feel something that my parents never made me feel. And so I pursued that feeling to The moon in back.
I kept working. I worked seven days a week. I got up early, went to the gym, immediately started working on OnlyFans. I posted videos three times a day on every single platform. I went live all the time.
And then I really saw those numbers boost. I was extremely ambitious. I knew that if I wanted to be the best, I had to educate myself. And if I am not a man, so I really wanted to understand my audience. And that's the best thing.
If you're trying to sell something, you have to understand your audience. Any major business person who's selling something will tell you that you have to learn your audience. Otherwise, you are just shooting into the wind.
So I read the Neil Strauss' book, The Game. It was just a dating book on a man teaching men how to date. And I wanted, I really wanted an insight into that. I read some articles about men. I read some articles about why men are attracted to women, why they don't feel secure in their relationships.
I manipulated men. Hardcore, so that I could get the gain. I wanted their money. I mean, it became, it first began as attention. I loved their attention.
Then I wanted to hurt them. I felt as though I was more powerful than men. I fell into that independence, that false independence, that equality mindset. I felt like I was above the majority of men. You know why?
Because I made more than most NFL players. And I knew that I could pull up to a table and I had more cards than most people.
So I had power, fame. I could book a flight anywhere, anytime. I took helicopter rides out of places I didn't want to be in. I just felt like the boss. I felt like I could dictate.
I needed that power in my life to dictate where I was going, who I was going with. Girls don't make what I make. Like netting 14 million in almost five years is ridiculous. That's like 3 million a year. $300,000 a month is crazy income for a person in their young 20.
20s to be making. And so men buy porn, and I wanted to get into their heads and understand why they bought it so I could make my content more appealing so that they would buy it. Like I was so bold. I did anything. I said anything.
I mean, if you've seen some of my old podcast clips, I would say the most outlandish things for men to be cat. Like I was already eye-catching with bright red hair and like fuzzy ears on. And then I would say things like, oh, I love to cheat. Who says that? Like, who openly admits that they love to cheat?
But I thought in my mind, You know, if men are watching this and they're in like a rough relationship, but this girl over here loves to cheat. She, oh, she'll sleep with me, you know. She'll get with me. Like, I always gave men the false sense that I would want to be with them no matter what. Like, I would pick you over anybody, you know?
So. Yeah. I was very good at a very bad thing.
So, I fell into smoking weed every single day. I had a major addiction to smoking weed. I started drinking to just do be able to do the scenes that I needed to do because your managers would outright tell you: if you don't do these scenes, you're not going to make any more money. You're going to fall off the map. Nobody's going to want you.
And they were just hardcore groomers. That's all they were. They were your pens online. And I only say that because I never knew my limits until I was in OnlyFans. And I realized I had no limits.
I had absolutely none. And I would do anything for money. I told myself early on that, oh, I would never do girl-on-girl scenes. Oh, I compromised so fast. I compromised everything: my mental health, my sexuality.
But now I have to look at myself in the mirror and be like, yeah, I sell myself for money every single day. And that's why I had to smoke so much because I could not allow myself to feel weak in any way, to cry. I could not allow myself to really recognize what I had done in just a like year and a half. I started doing hardcore pornography about seven months into being on OnlyFans, which I never thought I would do. But I started it because my family found out that I was on OnlyFans.
Hi, guys. Thank you.
So I went out to dinner with my parents about a week before I moved out to California. I wanted to take them out to dinner. They already knew I was moving out to California, but I had lied to them about the reason I was going out to California. I had told them it was for my previous job in orthopaedics that I was gonna get to move out there. They had no idea.
They thought it was great.
So I went out to dinner with them and randomly at the end of the dinner, this waiter comes up to me and I had stark red hair at the time.
So he comes up to me and is like, Are you Nala Ray? And I almost had a heart attack, to be honest. I could not believe that somebody would come up to me in front of my parents. Oh my word. And so I denied it.
I was just like instantly like, no. Then later on that day, my mom Googled my name, Nala Ray. It's pretty simple. Nobody else is named Nala Ray.
So she Googled it and there you go. There's me. That's my face all over the internet doing horrific things. My dad had already knew though. My dad knew beforehand because one of his shop workers reached out to him and told him, and he calls me.
And he was pretty stunned at first, right? And I explained it. I was like, dad, I'm making this much money. Like, no matter what you say, I'm still going to do it. Like, I'm too far deep into this.
I mean, I'm probably like six months in. And he was genuinely okay with it. Like, he was a little starstruck at first, but then he was like, oh, it's all right. Just don't tell your mom. And I was like, oh, great.
And you've been listening to Nala Rae tell one heck of a story about her life. And the transparency with which she tells it, the clarity and honesty with which she tells it is laudable. And for people listening who have family members who may have made choices like this, and if you've made choices like this, what a way to learn from somebody who's done it, who's been there. My goodness, OnlyFans in the beginning. She could have just done fitness videos.
Boy, that first month, $87,000. And what she was looking for, she confessed, was love. She was desperate for love, she said. Random strangers gave me a feeling my parents never made me feel.
So tragic is that line. I learned about men and manipulated men so I could get their money. I did anything. I said anything. I even admitted to saying, I love to cheat.
And she must be thinking to herself, what kind of a person says that? And of course, that is exactly what she says. I was very good. At a bad thing. When we come back, more of the story of Nala Ray, her redemption story.
Here on our American stories. Support for the show comes from Public, the investing platform for those who take it seriously. On Public, you can build a multi-asset portfolio of stocks, bonds, options, crypto, and now generated assets, which allow you to turn any idea into an investable index with AI. It all starts with your prompt. From renewable energy companies with high-free cash flow to semiconductor suppliers growing revenue over 20% year over year, you can literally type any prompt and put the AI to work.
It screens thousands of stocks, builds a one-of-a-kind index, and lets you backtest it against the SP 500. Then you can invest in a few clicks. Generated assets are like ETFs with infinite possibilities, completely customizable and based on your thesis, not someone else's. Go to public.com/slash podcast and earn an uncapped 1% bonus when you transfer your portfolio. That's public.com/slash podcast.
Paid for by Public Investing. Brokerage Services by Open to the Public Investing Inc., member FINRA and SIPC. Advisory Services by Public Advisors LLC, SEC, Registered Advisor. Generated Assets is an interactive analysis tool. Output is for informational purposes only and is not an investment recommendation or advice.
Complete disclosures available at public.com/slash disclosures. Sink into affordable luxury. Anibay is the only machine-washable sofa inside and out. With stain-resistant slip covers and a cloud-like frame duvet, everything goes right in the wash. Plus, the modular design lets you change the look of your space anytime.
Visit washable sofas.com to upgrade your home. Shop up to 60% off site-wide, with sofas starting at just $699 and a 30-day money-back guarantee. Shop now at washablesofas.com. Offers are subject to change and certain restrictions may apply. Have you heard about Klarna?
Klarna is an app designed to make everyday spending simpler and more transparent. It gives you flexibility to decide how you want to pay, whether that's paying right away, paying later, or spreading payments over time, depending on what works best for you. Everything is managed in the Klarna app, so you can keep track of purchases and stay organized. You can also discover deals and even earn cash back when you shop through the Klarna app with participating brands. It's all about flexibility and staying in control of how and when you pay.
Download the Klarna app today or visit Klarna.com to learn more. Terms apply. California resident loans made or arranged pursuant to a California finance law license, NMLS number 1353190, aren't a balance account required to be eligible for cashback points. Limitations, terms, and conditions apply. Uh I'm Spencer and I work at United Healthcare.
So Spencer, why do you care? I care because my daughter, Adeline, has special needs. I am motivated by Adeline, who inspires me every day. I am driven to help families like mine navigate the healthcare system. I'm so blessed to lead an amazing team at United Healthcare focusing on the member experience and making that better.
I'm Spencer and I'm committed to care. And we continue with our American stories and the story of Nala Ray. Let's pick up. Where we last left off.
So after my mom found out, they both decided they wanted to come to my apartment in Florida. And have a discussion with me about it. But my dad had to act like he didn't know. Otherwise, he'd be in big trouble with my mom for knowing and not telling her. And so they both came, we sat out on my porch, and my dad just went on this dad rant to me about it, acting as if he wasn't okay with it.
And my mom just sat there staring off into space. And I told them, I was like, listen, like, I. You know, I'm not, I'm not changing. Like, I'm sorry, like, you're mad at this, but me and my mom already didn't have a good relationship. And so I just didn't care that much.
I was like, you know what? You've never been a great mom to me anyway. Why would I care what you say now?
So then My mom, before they walk out the door. She just says, I hope you find everything you're looking for. And then later sends me an email. About how I have drifted off the path of God, how disappointed she was in me. But yeah, I maintained a relationship with my dad, and my mom and I didn't speak for the next five years.
So I figured at that point, since I'd lost everybody and I had no one's respect, that I was going to go full force into porn. And that was a really rough time for me. That was a very, very rough time for me because I got very kind of abused by my first boyfriend in it. He continued to ask me for more and more money. He physically abused me until I finally moved to California and got away from him.
And so once I got to California, I've rented out a million dollar mansion that I lived in for the next four years. I drove sports cars. I lived the life. I did anything to drown the feeling of being used by money and fame. And I really quickly saw that there was no more love in my life.
I didn't even understand what the word meant. I went through many boyfriends. I had a few sexual partners during that time that none of them loved me. A few of them cheated on me. And I was so utterly broken inside that I had to keep smoking weed.
I took Adderall every day so that I could keep pushing those work hours in. I became a full-time streamer on Twitch because I was getting paid by a company to gamble. Which I didn't even like, but I did it just for money. And I lied to myself constantly about it. I always told myself, you know.
One day I'll retire. One day it'll all be over. One day I can just go on a far off island and just... You know, live my life in peace, and that never happened. I never wanted to get married.
I did not want children. I thought that, you know, who would want me after this many years of being used, right? Like, and I was okay with that fact. I was like, you know what? I made this decision.
I was an adult, even though I was only like 20 years old. I still told myself, you know, you made these decisions and now you have to live in this bed that you made.
So I was like, all right, so I can do this. I can go retire after maybe 10 more years of doing this. You know, that got shattered pretty quickly when I met my husband now, Jordan. We met on TikTok. And Jordan was a full-out believer.
He spoke about Christ all over his social medias. I met him on a live where he was going live and I was just a viewer and he was just talking about Jesus in the most intimate way. And it was so crazy for me to see that because nothing about Jesus in my mind was intimate. What Jesus represented in my life was division and divorce. And that's what I saw when I thought of Jesus.
And I was like, there's no way God loves me. There's definitely no way now. I live the worst life possible. I am so addicted to drugs. I drink all the time.
I do porn. I am kind of bisexual. And I make money selling my body. God does not love me. I guarantee it.
But the way Jordan spoke about God started to, very, in a small way, open up my heart. And it kind of started. Feeding me a little bit, feeding me something that I haven't had in a while. And I'd say, um, It was just a really beautiful time in my life of awakening. At the time, I was angry.
I was at war with myself over everything he was saying. We became friends shortly after I saw him on live. We started texting. We FaceTimed all the time and we became like best friends. I finally flew Jordan out to California from Virginia to come be at my Halloween party, which I hosted at my house, where it's pretty much just all a bunch of OnlyFans models kind of making content and stuff.
And I hired a really big DJ to be at my party, and there was just so much drug use, so much alcohol. And I thought I was having the time of my life. But when I came downstairs and wearing the most promiscuous outfit, Jordan literally would not even look at me. He was like, oh my gosh, like a wow. And it really made me feel something inside.
I was really kind of embarrassed for the first time showing my body, which was kind of funny because. I was just like, wow, I've done this for five years, and now why all of a sudden am I uncomfortable showing my body? You know, why do I want to go put a big sweatshirt on just because this man is here?
So I went through the party. Jordan and I slept in separate rooms because we were just good friends and that was it. And I wanted to show Jordan, like the kind of life that I lived, which was extravagant. I rented him a sports car. I drove a sports car.
We went to some car meets, which I'm really interested in cars.
So we both got to do some fun things. He went home shortly after, and I had this radical moment, probably about a month later. Where I had went to Miami to go receive a reward for being a millionaire because I sold my body. It's called the porn awards. And I received.
A million dollar reward for doing what I did. And I went back to my hotel room staring at that reward. And I was like. distraught. And then one night, Jordan calls me on the phone and we have this discussion.
And Jordan was just like basically telling me over the phone, like, you know, you were meant for so much more than this. God did not create you to make porn. God created you as his loving daughter and you are an heir to his throne. And I was shocked and I was so angry at him for saying that to me because I already felt like I was living like a queen. I was like, do you even know who I am?
Do you know how much money I have in my bank account at this minute? You know, I felt so justified in my own thoughts. And so, after we got off the phone later that night, around one or two in the morning, I was just sitting in my living room smoking weed. And I was just, I was like, I just can't do this anymore. Like, why do I feel this?
Why? Like, I had used weed to numb myself, and I am no longer numb. Like, no longer, I feel everything. I felt like my nerves were on the top of my skin. It was so, like, I was in so much pain.
And so I just, I looked over in my corner of my living room, and I had a maid at the time. And I had reached out of one of my cabinets and got my Bible. It was like this big beaten-up purple Bible from 2009, which my parents had given me for a birthday present. It was so like ripped and torn, and it just was just rough, man. And it had all these writings in it from me as a kid and highlighted passages.
And I just opened it up and quickly flipped through it. And I was like, wow, I realized in that moment that I used to know who God was. I was like, wow, we had something here. It might not have been the best relationship, but I knew you at some point in my life. And I actually trusted you enough to read your word.
And you've been listening to Nala Rae share the story of her life. And my goodness, that confrontation scene with the mom and dad where the dad had to pretend not to know, well, that didn't end very well. And the mom says those words that sometimes parents feel compelled to say, I hope you find what you're looking for. They don't speak for five years. She went full steam ahead into the world of porn.
I lived the life I did anything in my life. To dull the pain, I was utterly broken inside, she confessed. I did not want to get married. I did not want children. She had just basically said, who would ever want to do that with me?
And why would I ever want that? Then she meets her husband and, well, he starts to talk about God and Jesus. And she's convinced there's just no way God can possibly love me. And then they become friends. He comes to that party.
and then makes that phone call after she gets that big check. You were made for so much more than this. When we come back, the rest of Nalare's story. Here on Our American Stories. Support for the show comes from Public, the investing platform for those who take it seriously.
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So Brian, why do you care? I care because I don't want to leave anybody behind. I oversee one of the biggest resource center in United Healthcare. I see people walked in in my office every day, just like my parents. They have no idea about the health care.
I feel like they are my uncles, aunties. I treated people like family. I'm Brian and I'm committed to care. And we continue with our American Stories and Nala Rais story. Let's pick up where we last left off.
And so I just put my Bible down and I just reached out to God sobbing. I was like, you know what, God? You have to do something right now in my life. You have to. I need you to talk to me right now, or I'm going to do something bad.
And in that moment, I just like closed my eyes. And I just saw the wording. From the Lord, just literally saying verbatim that I was all you ever needed. Wording. And I opened my eyes and I could still see the wording.
Visually, and I was like, oh my gosh, like, did you just talk to me? Like, did you actually just talk to me? I called Jordan at like six in the morning the next morning, and I was sobbing still. I barely got sleep that night. I was just trying to process everything that had just happened.
and I told them that God had spoken to me. Jordan bought a one-way ticket out. He, this was on like a Saturday. He bought a ticket, flew in. The next day was church.
It was Sunday.
So he took me to this church in downtown LA that he had went to before. And they were doing baptisms in the corner. They were ending it because we showed up a little bit late. And so I was sobbing just coming in and I was like, this is so embarrassing. Like, why am I crying so much?
And I have not cried in like years because I've been so numb from the weed. And so I was just sobbing and we go into the bleachers and I just looked up at Jordan and I'm like, I look at him and he's like, do you want to go get baptized? I was like, I have to right now. Like, you don't get it. If I don't get baptized right now, something bad's going to happen.
And so we rush over to the corner where they're doing baptisms. Water. He says, Are you ready? And I'm like, I'm so ready.
So he dunks me, I come back up. And it felt like I was in the water for forever. It really felt like I had been in the water for so long. And then when I come up, I left my eyes open while I was in the tower and I just, I wanted to see it. I knew God was gonna do something so powerful in that moment that I wanted to see it.
So I call this water and I come up. And I instantly Felt like I was a feather. I felt That's gonna tell. I'm like, I'm falling out of words here because there's no words that described how much weight I was carrying. that God took off me.
There's I was weightless. Completely and utterly weightless. And I just remember. Going back up to the bleachers with Jordan to hear the sermon, and I kept looking around like in awe of what I was seeing. It's just a church and a congregation and people on some stages.
And I felt like there was this massive filter, this fog that was just gone. And I couldn't believe my eyes. Like, when people tell you, like, when you get your sight back, things are different. That's what I felt like. I felt like I was so blind, and I can see now.
Everything looked different. It felt different. My taste was different. And it was just the most remarkable spiritual encounter I've ever had in my entire life. And I knew right then and there, I wanted God more than anything in my life.
Anything. I had to go after him so strongly because I was still in disbelief that God was going to do anything.
So he surpassed every expectation I had. ever. And the fact that he wanted me in his kingdom was remarkable to me.
So I was in Virginia visiting my mother-in-law and father-in-law with Jordan. And I believe we were, we were dating at the time.
So they weren't my mother-in-law just yet, but we were dating at the time. And I had already decided to delete my OnlyFans. It was just a really long battle. It took like a year and a half to get it fully deleted. It was just a wreck, so...
That is something I would warn OnlyFans models about: it's not easy to get off. It's not, unless you only have a couple subscribers, it's not going to be easy to get off.
So, and I had over like 207,000 subscribers.
So, that was a lot. When I first got saved, I learned that my mother-in-law had been like almost like fasting and praying over me for about, I don't know if it was like a week or two weeks, but anyway, she had really poured her heart out to the Lord to help me get saved. Like she was already praying over me before I was ever saved. And so that was so sweet to find out from her.
So she helped coach me along the way with my modesty in the sense that when I was wearing something that I shouldn't be wearing because it was already in my closet, she just would mention things like, maybe this isn't the best outfit that you should be wearing and then explain why. She's like, you are a beautiful woman. You know, you do not need to show anything anymore. And not that I was trying to entice any other men. I could care less at that point.
I was like, dude, I'm saved. I am good. Like, I don't care about what men think about me anymore. Like, it felt like such a stress reliever for the first. time.
And I went through my social media feed with my husband and asked her some questions too about I'm like, should I take this down? Like, is this too much? Like, I was so new to all of this idea of modesty because I had been promiscuous basically since I was like 16.
So. It was so new to me to have to rewire my brain in modesty. And I have made mistakes along the way. I have made some bad mistakes in some areas of wearing a thing that I shouldn't have worn. But now I feel as though her coaching has brought me to a place of always like asking another question.
Instead of just saying, oh, yeah, that's fine. Let's ask the question. Let's look it over again. Let's try to put yourself in a mindset where, um, What would a man think if they saw this? Would they find themselves potentially lusting or, you know?
Because as Christians, we are called to not make people stumble. I'm not trying to become a nun or anything. I love fashion, but I really had to throw away like 70% of my closet because it was that bad. And I was like, wow, like I had to get rid of lingerie. I had to get rid of bikinis.
I got rid of so many shirts, rompers, jumpers, dresses, pants, shorts. I got rid of everything. And I didn't even second guess it. If I even thought for a second, I threw it away. I was like, this cannot live in my life anymore.
Cussing was a massive one for me too, because like every other word out of my mouth was the F word. I literally said it like it was a vowel.
So I had to stop cussing. And that was with help of my husband. He would just gently remind me if I cussed or slipped up, he'd be like, language, you know, and it really helped me start taking notice of the things that I was saying. It's a very important part about being a Christian, too, because you have to, God says, um. to imitate him.
Is God cussing? No. Is God dressing in modestly? No. You know, is God spending too much time on social media?
Absolutely not. You know, so I really wanted to start and I start praying that over myself, like, God, help me imitate you. I had to deal with a major pride issue too. Major. Where I would just walk into a store and this thought pops in my mind where I'm like, oh, I'm way prettier than her.
I'm like, where did that come from? Like, I don't even want to think those thoughts. And so God had to really deliver me from pride. And it was the most remarkable day of my life where I met the love of my life. Jesus is the love of my life.
He was my first love, the first person who ever showed me that love that is, you cannot find here on earth. And that is what I had been searching for this entire time. He takes the lowest of the low, changes their life, and they have such a gratitude for it because they never thought they deserved it in the first place.
So God is my testimony. He is the love of my life over any human being on this earth, even over my husband. I love him so dearly, but I could never, ever give him the love that God gave me. Ever. In a terrific job on the production, editing, and storytelling by our own Greg Hengler.
And a very special thanks to Nala Rae for sharing her story with us. The good, the bad, and the ugly. The godly too. I need you to talk to me right now or I'm going to do something bad. Was her plea to the Lord.
Remember, that was Johnny Cash's plea, too. It's so many pleas of Christians and how they come close to the Lord. It's generally when they're in the valley at the darkest point of their life that they lean on him. Then there was that vision, that sign, those words, I was all you ever needed. Then came that magical baptism scene All that work to get rid of the OnlyFans stuff.
And then to learn how to walk a godly walk. And that's not easy. No Christian will tell you it is, or any person of God. She was trying to rewire her brain and it was simple. Her simple prayer was, God, help me imitate you.
Help me imitate you. And of course she closed with the beautiful thought that though she loved her husband with all of her heart, Jesus was the first love of her life. The story of Nalar Ray a redemption story and a real beauty here. on our American stories. Life gets messy.
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