Absurd Truth: Foghorn Leghorn

Dana Lashes of Sir Truth Podcast sponsored by Kel-Tec. It's his life mission to make bad decisions.

It's time for Florida Man. I'm Dana Lashes of Sir Truth Podcast. beer bottle, telling people he had a knife. One report said he had a knife. Running around after shoppers, throwing beer bottles while forcing trying to force them to buy meth at a strip mall, say deputies.

That's not like bell ringing. Monroe County Sheriff's Office said deputies were sent to the tavernier town center. And the guy, Stephen Bennett, was yelling at shoppers throwing bottles at them, threatening one with a knife, trying to sell meth. He said the officers say no one was seriously hurt.

Deputies found 15 grams of meth on Bennett. They did find the machete. So he was saying knife, but it was a machete according to the police report. That's a knife. Yeah, it's a big knife.

Scale pipes, all kinds of stuff. They got him on charges of meth trafficking, disorderly conduct, battery and possession of drug paraphernalia. He is in Key West Jail facility on a $125,000 bond.

Yeah, that's not how you sell stuff. Not now. So in Florida, a man shot and killed a bear to protect his puppy, which I totally won't do in Fort McCoy Marion County, and he is not going to face charges. Now Florida made it remember, it's the crack bear law. If a bear is coming to kill you and kill you, then you can shoot and kill the bear and you're not going to go to jail because normally they would try to take you to jail for it. This guy's dog is going to kill his dog. And now, as long as you notify Florida Wildlife Conservation within 24 hours, you can't, they're not going to charge you if you're defending yourself, your life and the life of your loved ones. So this guy, good story for this.

Thanks to Santa signing that law. Stick with us. Imagine if you had a GPS for your body's engine in your hands. That's exactly what you get with Lumen, the world's first handheld metabolic coach. Lumen is a breath based metabolism tracker.

It's a little tiny thing. You breathe into the lumen at the start of your day and you get a metabolism snapshot and personalized nutrition plan. Then the app tells you if you're burning fat or if you're burning carbs, and when your metabolism is firing on all cylinders, you get a whole bunch of other benefits. I mean, you get smoother weight management, a boost in energy, enhanced fitness results and even better sleep.

But it doesn't stop there. This very nifty little device also adjusts its advice to keep your metabolism in check through hormonal shifts. So taking all factors into account, it's all based on real time data and proven science. With Lumen, you're always in the driver's seat.

So take the guesswork out and know with real data what your body needs. Take the next step in improving your health and visit Lumen.me slash Danisho to get 15% off of your Lumen. That's L-U-M-E-N dot M-E slash Danisho for 15% off of your purchase. You better thank a union member for the five day work week. You better thank a union member for sick leave. You better thank a union member for paid leave.

You better thank a union member for vacation time. Foghorn Leghorn. Foghorn Leghorn. First off, what accent was that from Kamala Harris? What accent even was that? So she's like union member. Can I just hear her? I'm sorry, Juan. Can I just hear her say that one part because she Well, how does she say it?

I'm trying to get the annunciation down. It's very Foghorn Leghorn-ish. For the five day work week, you better thank a union member for sick leave. You better thank a union member for paid leave.

You better thank a union member for vacation time. What accent is that? It is very Foghorn Leghorn. Listen here, say here. It's very much like that.

The same words from her though, just in a different audience sounds. Thank unions for sick leave. Thank unions for paid family leave.

Thank unions for your vacation time. Yeah, but she's okay. Well, you know the issue here. She's pandering. It's very, very simple. Welcome. Welcome back, everybody to the program.

Dana Lash with you, your lovable curmudgeon. Bottom of this first hour. I want to try to, every now and then I do this explainer about vocal presentation when you're a politician. And I'm going to get into it, but just so you probably noticed my voice has been a lot lower and it's cracked and all this stuff lately. I was a little afraid that I had nodules on my vocal cords and I was a little freaked out about it.

So Friday when we were all off, went and got scoped and all this. Good news is don't have anything like that on my vocal cords. The bad news is they were quote, immensely swollen. And it's due to some sort of environmental allergy. We got to figure it out.

And they put me on a lot of roids to try to get it because it's been like this for months to get that down. And I was told that when I don't have to speak, I'm not supposed to. Yeah, you met me. I'm not like going to carry around the little board like a, you know, an old pioneer character and write stuff on my little board and show it. I'm not going to do that. So anyway, I say this because I don't know the reason I bring this up, not just to share it with you, because some of you have written and said, you sound hoarse or you know, we can tell something's different. But because I may not be able to as bombastically do an explainer on what I think she's trying to do here first without informing you of that. So the as Juan says, we may have to get Dana one of the wick buttons.

I'll explain that later. Thanks, Juan. So great, Juan. Gonna have to I'm just gonna have to get I'm gonna have to get those buttons. No, don't like No.

So we're gonna have to do. I did. I went in because I was terrified that I had like nodules on my vocal cords. I could not explain what was going on. I wasn't sick. I had nothing. There was nothing like that.

But it was, you know, demonstrably different. And a lot of you had written and, and said, Oh, I hope you're feeling okay. You sound sick. And my voice cracked and couldn't sing in church. And it was just real rough. And so went in and so I've been on these roids. And I got to go back in a week and do all this stuff. But anyway, long story short, they said they were immensely swollen.

And that's why it was, you know, and and I'm forcing a lot of air through them to make it work. So we'll see. I can still tell the difference, but we'll see. Anyway, my whole point of bringing that up, like I said, is I feel like she's trying to do. And I've talked about this for a decade. What I call Southern Baptist preacher speaking technique. Now I say this as someone who's raised Southern Baptist, so I can say that and I don't bat an eye at me because I ain't gonna have it.

Y'all know that's what she's doing, right? It's called the Southern Baptist preacher speaking technique. And it doesn't matter what ideology of politician you are.

Doesn't matter if you're black or white, if you are man or if you are woman. It is a technique that predominantly Democrats use whenever they're speaking to large groups of people and they need some populism. They need to make it populism-y. So they they start doing this. And I've told people before how you can read the ingredients off of a, you know, box of macaroni and cheese and you can make it sound authoritative. They do this kind of stuff to make them seem like they're one of the people to give it a revival flair and to get everybody amped up over what they don't know. They just know that someone's accent's changed and whoa, they're very excited about this.

And it's very simple, right? I feel like I ought to do one of our live reads in the Southern Baptist preacher speaking technique, you know, almost just as I don't know who, I don't know who it would be. But just, you know, as a way to sort of further illustrate, but what I'll do, what do I got here? What do I got? I got something. Do I got something? I got a Kleenex box.

I got a Kleenex box here. Right? I can wonder, it's not a lot to read on it. Well, damn, what do we got? What can I read? I don't want to read that. That's it. I don't know what that is. Should have thought about this.

Give me something bland and basic to read. Is that like an aspirin bottle? Zinc? Yeah, just go ahead. I don't care from front of the camera. Just go ahead and hand it. There you go. Thank you, Cain.

Thank you. So what else do you have over there? I've got healthy supplements. Cain has an entire CVS replete with receipts overhead his desk.

Ten, twelve percent of a CVS. He just handed me, he's got other big bottles. I see a giant bottle of fiber over there. Read that like you're supposed to.

Okay, sorry. So why is it, why is the, why are the letters so little? So the Southern Baptist preacher speaking technique, again, predominantly Democrats, but it's a vocal affectation whenever they want to sound authoritative. And they want, they're trying to connect with people and they're trying to give it this revival type air. So we're going to demonstrate the Southern Baptist preacher speaking technique. And again, I was raised that way.

I can do this with this essential zinc. Now remember, it's very important to have peaks and valleys whenever you're doing the Southern Baptist preacher speaking technique. And by that, I mean, you've got to bring it up and then you've got to bring it back down.

You got your peaks and your valleys. Now that's just how your volume and your pitch. I'm not even getting into the accent yet.

Because that's an interesting one. She sounded like a bastardized foghorn leghorn. Y'all know that big old rooster? Now listen here, boy, I say here, I say here. So I'm going to demonstrate the whole thing. We're going to read about clean nutrition.

Oh boy, with these people. This is essential essential zinc. It is called essential zinc. I see it's very important to overemphasize any consonant at the end of a word.

Essential zinc, 50 milligrams. So you get your peaks and valleys in there, right peaks and valleys. So they say that they're talking about this company. It's not of course, it's non GMO. It's non GMO.

They believe in clean nutrition and being transparent. See, you get your peaks and valleys and we're overemphasizing the consonants. That's why you won't.

What is this word? This is why you won't find genetically modified ingredients. Now see, it's very important to punch in the face every syllable of the word that you're reading, because that's the verbal version of an underscore and a bold and maybe even an italic too, right? So keeping with reading just how simple every day practicing with the Southern Baptist preacher speaking technique, trademark bling.

You will not find gluten, wheat, dairy, lactose, or artificial flavors in any of our products. Now see, I see Cain's over there like he's just all medical as I came in. You sound authoritative, slightly terrifying. And also, you are inspiring some sort of reaction, what we don't know, in the person who is listening to you and receiving the message that you are delivering to them, right? And so it's very simple when you're doing the Southern Baptist preacher speaking technique. You don't want to sound too much like Foghorn Leghorn, but you want to make sure that you're overemphasizing and that you're getting those peaks and valleys, and that there's dynamic, you don't want to be one tone the whole time, you got to bring it back. And then you got to very slowly take it back out to create anticipation in the hearts and minds of the people listening.

See, it also makes you sound wise, because all old people back in the days of yore, I think, talk like that. So anybody can do it. She tried doing it there. Can I hear her one more time? She tried doing it there. She just sucks at it.

I mean, she's from California, you know, that's like getting sushi at Sam's. Go ahead. Okay, this sounds so bad. So first off, you can't have your voice like way up there in the trees, you know, way up there in the clouds, you got to bring it back down. So if I were her, I would say, you better thank Henry Ford for giving you that five day work week.

You better think Philip II of Spain, who back in 1594 gave you the eight hour work week. See, you got it. You can't just she's just too much. You didn't know how to do it right. But again, she's a Californian. So like I said, it's like getting sushi at Sam's. It's like you wouldn't go to Burger King and ask for a taco.

Why in the hell would you go to California and expect her to do the Southern Baptist preacher speaking technique? You know what I'm saying? Just not the same thing.

It's not the same thing. Do you want your zinc back? You got more over there?

Just get it there in the commercial. Okay. All right. I was just asking.

I didn't know if it's like something you needed now or you know, you got a lot of stuff over there, though. So she just did that. That sounded lame. The way she did it sounded bad. And it sounds it's pandering.

You better thank the federal government for shutting down your business during COVID making you all go broke. I mean, there's so many that's the problem with her line of reasoning with that, that you could take that so many different ways. Why are we still talking like we live in the 20s? Caltech the P 15. If you have not gotten the P 15 you need to it is the lightest, thinnest double stack nine millimeter on the market. And there are two versions of it. You have the polymer version.

And you have the metal version with the wood panel texture grips. It's super classy. Looks like a James Bond gun.

I love both of them. It's a striker fire pistol from the inventors of the micro compact pistol category. It is absolutely absolutely ideal for concealed carry get a lifetime warranty. This thing is so light. It is the lightest thinnest double stack nine millimeter 1.27 inches wide four inch barrel tritium and fiber optic front sight you got fully adjustable fiber optic two dot rear and striker fire reliability. It has real smooth trigger pull.

And it's just it's game changing. It is one of my favorites to conceal carry love the P 15. I both versions love it and quality made right here in the US of A. It is ideal for whether you're new to compact whether you need a compact carrier concealed carry or seasoned pros. It's sleek, lightweight and powerful. It's the P 15 from Caltech.

Learn more at Caltech weapons.com. That's K e l t e c weapons.com and tell them that Dana sent you. And now all of the news you would probably miss.

It's time for Dana's quick five. So Facebook, obviously they listen to your phone's microphone by the way Facebook burn in hell to serve ads for stuff that you mentioned. You know they do this right?

That's why all the stuff every time you talk about stuff that pops up in Facebook ads. This happens all the time there was a leak that came out. It's been it's been reported they said 404 media says that documents were leaked, blah blah blah.

It says that the so called active listening software uses AI to capture real time intent data by listening to our conversations. Not a surprise. Let's see this that I don't understand why people are like this. Louisville Metro Metro police they're looking for a dude who has defecated on the same porch multiple times over the past week on the third door their porch camera for no reason.

Police confirmed with W a ve news that they've received three police reports about this alleged perpetrator. Maybe just I don't know I think I'd throw up in the I think I tried Joe Biden maneuver at that point. The only time it's safe to kick open your door with a shotgun just saying it's kind of weird. They're like, well, he's not violent or trying to do for century. I think that's bioterrorism. So I would classify that as violent. Yes, that's I get when you're on my property. The fun thing about that is I get to classify your intent. That's a consequence of trespassing on my property.

If you don't want me to misclassify your intent, don't trespass on my property. The end super easy monkey pock pandemic monkey monkey pox pandemic. Because they say their fears of those 1000s infected with the disease and just one Brazilian city stop having sex with dudes, dudes with dudes indiscriminately and maybe you won't have this problem. I know it's not PC to say I know we're supposed to pretend like we're morons and we don't know where it comes from. But that's where it comes from. Stop acting like it's universally applied to all of the humans in our species because it's not. Carnivore may not be for everyone.

It is. Doctors say this trendy diet could lead to heart issues and dementia. Stupid doctors could also lead to heart issues and dementia.

That's another fun study. Know that they just don't want you to eat red meat and they want to scare you with this medical fear born. That's all it is. And it's a stupid podcast that I'm not going to promote by mentioning it. But some guy was saying, Oh, carnivores with your diet can contribute to overall systemic inflammation, etc, etc.

Interestingly, because my nutritionist and my endocrinologist and my doctor said the absolute opposite. Huh. One of them is one of the most is one of the leading medical professionals in the Dallas, Fort Worth area.

So and he just doesn't he doesn't have enough time because his practice is so successful that he doesn't have time for podcasts. Just saying. Americans are moving at the lowest rate in decades, according to the Census Bureau. I don't know if I believe this. Well, they just measured this for 2022. They said fewer than 9% of Americans moved in 2022. It was nearly 20% in the 1960s. They're blaming a collision of several factors, including COVID.

And I think they're all leaving blue states for red states. I don't think that they're I don't think that this is being judged adequately. Everybody knows the website OnlyFans.

I've never been there. I just know that it exists because of the jokes. So apparently, some of these broads on OnlyFans, they were a key. This is the most the irony here. They're being accused of pretending to be trans women to make money on the platform. So they apparently put a video up and it said to just two boys being silly with a trans flag on it.

And then how do I say this? They had on boxer shorts and they gave themselves the fake appearance of a male copulatory organ. And the trans trans Tifa got real mad. And they said that you are and they said that you are pretending to be trans to grift.

So wait a minute. The dudes pretending to be women are mad because there are women pretending to be men. So the dudes pretending to be women to grift are mad that the women are grifting off of pretending to be men.

They're pretending to be men who are pretending to be women. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. But guess what? It's all pretend. It is all pretend. This is like getting so invested in like a like a television show or a movie that the characters actually upset you. It's that bad because it's all pretend. It's all pretend.

So how can you get so there? I mean, they're like they're trying to get them canceled. You know, they said these they're fake and the trans communities up in arms.

They're apparently being threatened with violence because that's what trans Tifa does. You know, it's funny. The way they found out was they were too beautiful for them to believe that they were too ready for people to believe that they're dudes. That's right. Because they're I mean, they're not dudes, you know, clearly.

And they don't have any mounds on their necks proves nobody's fooling anyone. Exactly. We Yeah.

I mean, and so the trans people got mad because they you're too pretty to pretend to be a dude. Just let that let that simmer for a minute. What is the world? I can't even believe this is this is the reality of news today. That's news. That's that's where we're at now. They they had death threats and all kinds of I don't know if they're going to get their accounts suspended, but they've the whole community has been up and on.

This has been like the big thing all weekend and and they're a little community. How do you not? Well, but who are the Who are they to tell them that they can't? What if they are women?

Who? They're women who want to pretend to be men who are pretending to be women? Why can't they do that? Why the left? Why can't it work like that? No, no, no, hold up.

Why doesn't it work that way? You can't just you don't get they don't get to be gatekeepers. You can't just go I'm a man who wants to pretend to be a woman. Okay, they're a woman who wanted to pretend to be men who are pretending to be women. I'll take back at you. Huh?

I'm a woman pretending to be a man is pretending to be a woman who's actually a man. We're in tropic Thunder territory right now. This is where we're at.

This is level tropic Thunder. This I can't get over the story. This is so funny. So again, there are women pretending to be dudes who are pretending to be women.

And that and the trans Tifa are all mad about it. By the way, can you say training anymore? Is that a word that one can say? Well, you just did. So I think so.

No, I'm just curious because I just remember like in the 90s. They even said it like the people who would say that they were. That's true. But I think I think they do like with midget.

You can't say I have to say little people now. And it's like with that. But what is the difference between trans and tranny?

Are you talking about mechanics? I know. I just don't understand why the like letters like mere three letters like makes it like or okay or okay. I don't you know, this is also damn stupid. People have so much time on their hands. They invent things to get offended about all the pretending and I got to pretend that I cared about all this stuff. Yeah, like I want to pretend about stuff too.

And I want to force people into making it real. Right? Like maybe we can get that yacht after all. You know what I'm saying?

Like a real one. Not Marco Rubio's little boat. Just saying. All right, we got more on the way. I Oh, one other thing before we go. You know how we how Tim Walz was saying that he he was that he was in labor.

What was he saying? He's not a labor unions pocket. He is the pocket.

And it reminded me we're going to start calling him Mr. Pocket. If you've ever seen the Ballad of Buster Scruggs by the Coen brothers, it is like a series of Western vignettes that are all tied together. It's one of the most brilliant like Western themed. It's not a series. It's a film.

It's hysterical and brilliant and really smartly done. But Tom, Tom Waite is in it. And he plays this prospector. And he finds this parcel of land and there's gold on it. And he's trying to find this pocket of gold. And he keeps calling out Mr. Pocket. So he's out there talking to anyway, long story short, it made me think of that. So I'm gonna start calling Tim Walz Mr. Pocket.