Seven Words that Can Build a Marriage | Part 1

What is the threefold cord that binds our homes together?

Listen to this. If you take one strand, you may break it. Wrap it with another strand, it's harder to break. But threefold cords are most difficult to break. What is the threefold cord that binds our homes together? The man, the woman, and God. Welcome to Love Worth Finding, featuring the timeless teaching of pastor and author Adrian Rogers.

A threefold cord is not easily broken. Likewise, a marriage made up of a man, a woman, and God is difficult to break. God designed the divine institution of marriage and has given us the tools to create blessed homes. The Bible shows us how we can cultivate success in the home.

If you have your Bible, turn to 1 Peter chapter 3. We'll begin in verse 1 as Adrian Rogers shares seven words that can build a marriage. Come home this morning and I pray it will be a blessing to your heart. Love in marriage is wonderful. Actually, it is a miracle. But the great miracle is not love at first sight.

Friend, the great miracle is love after a long, long look. Well, how do you keep the honey in the honeymoon? You don't want to be like that man who enjoyed showing his pictures of his wedding, the video, backward so he could see himself walking out of the church a free man.

You don't want to be like that. How can you keep that excitement, that thrill here where we're going to be studying about Abraham and Sarah? And let's look in the Scripture here beginning in verse 1. Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands, that if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation that literally means the behavior of the wives.

It includes what one would say, but it goes far beyond that in the King James English. Verse 2, while they behold your chaste, that means your pure behavior, coupled adjoined with fear, who's adorning? Let it not be that outward adorning of the plaiting of the hair, the wearing of gold, or the putting on of apparel, but let it be the hidden man of the heart, that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner in old time, the holy women also who trusted in God adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands. Even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord, whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.

Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers be not hindered. Now, we're reading right there, but this is a description of Sarah and Abraham, and it uses them as an example. Now, that's an encouragement to me because, friend, I want to tell you, Sarah and Abraham had a lot of obstacles.

They were not a perfect couple. They had all kinds of pressures. For example, they had family pressures. They lived in a tent.

How would you like to live in a tent? Constantly moving. They had unfulfilled passions and desires and ambitions. They were looking for a city that had foundations, but it took, in their married life, they never found it. There was a very ugly part. There was a third person who came into their marriage, a woman named Hagar, and Abraham had a child by Hagar. That's an ugly thing, and I'm sure one of the marks upon Abraham's life that he certainly has to hang his head in shame about. They had difficulty with their children. They had a blended family, and not only that, but children themselves are just a difficulty.

We might as well admit it. From the time a child is 12 to 18, he watches his parents age 20 years. They had these kids they had to deal with, and Abraham failed. There was a time when Abraham failed to protect Sarah, and he told the half-truth in order to save his own hide.

He was kind of a scoundrel when he did that, and yet he's known as a man of faith. But he certainly wasn't perfect, and they went through all of the things that we all go through, the fiery passions of youth when they fell in love, then middle age. They say, you know, youth looks forward, old age looks backward, middle age just looks worried.

They went through middle age, and then they went through old age, what we call old age, the sunset years of life. And they went through all of that, but they made it, and so can you if you put in practice some of the things that we're going to teach about today. Now, the point I'm making is nobody has a perfect marriage because of no perfect people, right? And you ought to be glad that you're not perfect and that your mate is not perfect. I mean, actually, friend, if your mate were perfect, he or she never would have married you.

You think about it. I was speaking over in North Carolina at the Billy Graham Conference Center over there, which is an absolutely beautiful place called the Cove. I was preaching on marriage in the home, and a lady in the two years got up, and she spoke to the younger women, and she said, now I want you younger women to know this. She said, you may marry a man who is a shining, a knight with shining armor on a white horse, but she said, somebody still has to clean up after the horse.

And then she said in parentheses, and enjoy it. Well, how are we going to have the kind of a home that God wants us to have? May I give you seven simple words? Now, the outline today, all you have to do is just write down seven words. But these seven words are going to come out of this passage of Scripture that we're looking at today, and if you will take these seven words and inculcate them, I believe I can promise to you a successful family. The first word is faith, f-a-i-t-h. Now look, if you will, in 1 Peter chapter 3, verse 5. For after this manner in old time, the holy women also, now watch this phrase, who trusted in God. I'm just going to stop reading right there, and then go down to verse 7. Likewise, ye husbands dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife as unto the weaker vessel, as being heirs together of the grace of life. Now, the grace of life means the power of God that comes into your life through faith.

It's very obvious that in spite of all of their faults and their peccadillos, Abraham and Sarah had an abiding faith in God. You know what the Bible says? The Bible says a three-fold cord is not easily broken. When you take one strand, you may break it.

Wrap it with another strand, it's harder to break. But three-fold cords are most difficult to break. What is the three-fold cord that binds our homes together? The man, the woman, and God.

A three-fold cord is not easily broken. Our home, I'll give you testimony, our home is solidly built on Jesus Christ. Joyce knows that she's not number one in my life. She's not first in my life. She knows that God is first in my life. I know that God is first in her life.

I don't mind that because I know that she loves me with a stronger, deeper, purer love by putting God first than she could ever love me if she made me first. And so it is God that puts us together in our dating life as we were growing up as high school sweethearts. We would conclude our dates in prayer. The first night of our honeymoon, we kneeled beside the bed and gave our home to Jesus Christ. Every day, we pray together at breakfast and pray for all of our children and grandchildren and pray for various things that God wants us to have. But we pray for one another and bless one another. Our home is built on prayer. It began with prayer. It continues with prayer.

Now, friend, listen. You will never have a successful home, in my humble but accurate opinion, apart from God. And you'll never know God as you ought without faith. Abraham and Sarah are listed there in Hebrews chapter 11 as champions of faith.

Second word, not only the word faith, here's the second word, acceptance, acceptance. Look now in chapter 3 and verse 1. Likewise, you wives, be in subjection to your own husbands, that if any obey not the word, they may without the word be won by the behavior of the wives. That is, your husband's not going to be perfect.

He's not always going to be living in accordance with the Word of God. Now, there comes a word here while we're in the neighborhood, be in subjection to your own husbands. May I say, friend, that submission to your husband does not mean you're inferior.

The devil's pulled a trick on people. The devil today has tried to obliterate the differences between the sexes. Under the guise of making men and women equal, he's tried to make them the same. Men and women are equal before God. In Christ is neither male nor female, Jew nor Greek.

We are all one in the Lord Jesus Christ. But equality of worth is not the sameness of function. God has put headship in the home. God has made the husband be the head of the home, not the boss of the home. There's a difference between bossiness and headship. When the husband is the head of the home, that simply means he has a responsibility. It doesn't mean he has superiority, but he has a certain responsibility. You're never more like the devil when you have an unsubmissive spirit.

You're never more like the Lord Jesus Christ when you have a submissive spirit. We accept one another. A headship for the husband does not mean the husband has greater privileges.

It means that he has greater responsibility. But we accept who we are. We accept our God-given roles.

Sir, if you don't accept the headship that God has given you in the home, you are a slacker, a shirker, a failure as a husband. And, precious lady, if you don't accept God's plan for the home, you have a rebellious spirit. And by the way, after the service, if you disagree with this passage of Scripture, please don't take it up with me. Read it back to the Lord and say, Now, Lord, here's one place where you really blew it. Here's one place where you made a mistake. Don't come to argue with me.

I am not the author. I am just the Western Union boy delivering the message, okay? Now, this doesn't mean there are fewer blessings. Actually, it means more blessings when we find God's plan for the home. But there is this matter of acceptance. We accept our roles. We accept one another. Neither of us is perfect, but we accept the other. Never marry a person in order to make them over.

If you don't like what you're getting, don't get it. Don't marry. You marry in haste, you'll repent in leisure.

But once you're married, you accept it. Now, number three, the third word is the word contentment. The word contentment. Look, if you will, now in verses three and four. Peter's talking about the way that women adorn themselves in dress, and he says, Who's adorning? Let it not be that outward adorning of the plaiting of the hair and of wearing of gold and putting on of apparel, but let it be the hidden man or hidden person of the heart. And that which is not corruptible, underscore the phrase, that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and a quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. And then again, 1 Peter 3, verse 7, Likewise ye husbands dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life. Underscore that phrase, heirs together of the grace of life. Now, as you study the life of Abraham and Sarah, you find that God had given them, in spite of all of their faults, a spirit of contentment. Now, Abraham was a very wealthy man, but he didn't flaunt his wealth, and he was able to use his wealth, not abuse his wealth. He did not always live a life of comfort and security because they had to move from place to place.

Now, let me say something. You kids are just getting married. Learn the secret of contentment. Learn that you can get along without almost anything except one another and God. Or let me just invert that, without God and one another. If you have God, you have one another, you have something to wear and something to eat, that's all you need.

The Bible says, having food and clothing, raiment, let us therewith be content. Now, if you have more, I'm happy for you. If you have, ladies, if you're wearing gold today, I'm happy for you. If you have a fine dress today, I'm happy for you. Sir, if you have been successful in your business, I'm happy for you.

The Bible says God takes pleasure in the prosperity of his servants. But listen to me carefully. A wise man once said, to whom little is not enough, nothing is enough.

Now, if you didn't hear that, you missed something real good. It's not original with me, but it is so true. To whom little is not enough, nothing is enough.

If you and wife are you and husband, have God and one another, you have all you need to be content. One man had an enormous fortune, and overnight he lost it. I mean, he was a big shot. He was like one of these dot com companies. It just cratered.

He lost it all. They had to sell their big, fine home. They moved into a little apartment. They looked around at this small apartment.

They'd been living in luxury. He slumped down in the chair, and he said, well, here we are. She said, no, here we are.

Don't you like that? Here we are. We have one another, and we have God.

Learn the secret of contentment. Sometimes people read this passage of Scripture, and they think it teaches that women ought not to fix their hair and wear gold. Well, look at it. It says, don't let your adorning be the braiding of the hair, and they say, see there? You ought not to braid your hair, and let not your adornment be the wearing of gold. See there, women ought not to wear jewelry, and let not your adornment be the putting on of apparel.

See there, women ought not to wear clothes. Hey, folks. Ladies, he's not against you fixing yourself up. Sarah must have fixed herself up.

I'm telling you one thing. After she was 80, people were still, men were still vying for her. She was a knockout.

She's dynamite. She's a good-looking gal, but what he is saying is this. Who's adornment? Don't let it be that outward adornment. Look, if that's what you're counting on, dear lady, you're fighting a losing battle because you're getting older, and there's a new bevy of beauties coming on every day. Did you know that?

I mean, use your noggin. Think about it. That you learn to have the ornament of a meek and a quiet spirit which is not corruptible. You can get more and more beautiful, and I say this is not preacher rhetoric. I know my wife, like her husband, is getting older, but that gal is gorgeous to me. She's beautiful to me.

I know her character. I know the inward beauty, and I adore her because outward beauty can fade. Inward beauty is real. You know that somebody said beauty's skin deep. Ugly goes all the way to the bone. Beauty fades, but ugly holds its own. Friend, listen to me.

Learn the secret of real beauty, and that comes out of real contentment. You see, the real character is inward, and you know what the inward serenity means? He says the ornament of a meek and a quiet spirit. That word meek, friend, it doesn't mean weak. A woman army was described as meek. All meek means is under control. It's a woman not out of control, a meek spirit. Meekness is not weakness.

Jesus was meek and mild. He wasn't weak, and it says a quiet spirit. Quiet, that doesn't mean mousy. It doesn't mean timid. It means serene. It means tranquil.

It means a person who has inner beauty, inner character, a person who has learned contentment. Both husband and wife need to learn contentment. Be content.

Now, I'm going to be one of these families whose marriage ceremony ought to say till debt do us part. Number four, here's another key word, is the word forgiveness. Forgiveness.

Look, if you will, again in verses 3, chapter 3, verses 8 through 10. Likewise be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another. Love as brethren. Be pitiful, be courteous, not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing, but contrary wise, blessing, knowing that ye are there unto call, that ye should inherit a blessing. For he that will love life. Do you love life? Listen.

He that will love life and see good days. Do you want good days? Listen. Let him refrain his tongue from evil and his lips that they speak no guile.

All married people must learn to forgive. Do you ever get a splinter in your finger? Maybe it's down there deep enough and you see it and you see that little dark spot and you say, well, now I could get that out, but I don't know. You could get a needle and pick it out. Say, well, maybe it'll work its way out and you just leave it there.

It seems to be all right. Then one morning you wake up and you've got this incredible pain and this thing is throbbing. It is festered.

It is infected because you didn't get it out. The Bible says don't let the sun go down upon your wrath. Coming up on Monday, we'll hear part two of this important lesson. Do you have a prayer request you'd like to share with us, maybe about your marriage or your family? At Love Worth Finding, it's one of our great honors to come alongside you and pray with you and for you. If you can, go to our website homepage at lwf.org slash radio and scroll down to our prayer wall. There you'll find the option to either submit a prayer request or pray for others. This resource is one of our favorite ways to keep the ministry and the community praying continually for one another's needs. We can't wait to hear from you today. Now, if you'd like to order a copy of today's message in its entirety, you can call us at 1-877-LOVEGOD. Mention the title, Seven Words That Can Build a Marriage.

You can also order online at lwf.org slash radio or write us at Love Worth Finding, Box 38600, Memphis, Tennessee 38183. Thanks so much for studying in God's Word with us today. Be sure to sign up for our daily heartbeat emails and you'll get daily devotions and message links sent straight to your inbox. You can find out more at lwf.org slash radio and join us Monday for Pastor Rogers' powerful conclusion of seven words that can build a marriage right here on Love Worth Finding. Here's a note from a Facebook friend we received recently. For several years, my parents and I shared Pastor Rogers' messages with each other for encouragement and there have been many.

Praise the Lord and thank you. What a joy it is to hear how you've utilized these messages and resources to encourage your family. And when you donate to Love Worth Finding right now, we want to thank you with a copy of a new book, The Music of Marriage, developed from the sermons written and delivered by Pastor Rogers. The Music of Marriage is a beautiful primer on biblical marriage for young couples just starting out and a refresher for couples in the middle of the symphony of life. Request a copy of The Music of Marriage when you call us at 1-877-LOVEGOD or give online at lwf.org slash radio. And thank you so much for your generous support of Love Worth Finding.